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Send My Love to the Sea | Chapter One

pairing ♡ roronoa zoro/original female character content warnings ♡ implied abuse word count ♡ 4,821 arc ♡ shizumi bay [ chapters one - current ]

By the time Kaz made it back to the bunk room, all of her fingers had gone numb from the bitter winter cold. They were already brittle and red from having spent the last four hours cleaning, her fingernails weak and broken. This time of year, the island’s temperature dropped below freezing regularly, and navigating became another challenge to face. The roads were covered in thick slabs of black ice, and many of the island’s residents were left trapped inside their homes by intense blizzard’s. Despite the weather conditions, Kaz still made the forty minute trek to Wainwright’s manor each morning.

As she pushed open the door, the rush of warm air flooded over her face, and Kaz sighed contentedly. The other girls turned to look at her over their shoulders, before greetings rose from her bunk mates. There were five of them, not including Kaz, who stayed in Bunk Room #1. They were the ones that had been on the island the longest. The thought filled her with a sense of melancholy as she shrugs off her scarf, setting it on her bed. Already, she’d spent three years of her life imprisoned on this island.

Three years of her life gone, spent living in servitude to the man who had stolen them.

“You’re back late.”

Kaz glances over her shoulder at the group of girls. They sit packed together close to the fire, wearing their blankets over their shoulders and two layers of socks each. Each of the girls had come at different times, Sorscha being the first, and Saori being the last in room one. Sorscha looks at her now, eyes raised in question, and Kaz remembers that she’d spoken.

“Ya,” She sighs, “Melanie is sick.”

The news leaves her troubled, her limbs aching and mind a frenzy as she sits on the edge of the bed next to the fire. Melanie was older than the rest of them, but she’d always gone out of her way to take care of them. On the island, the girls had no allies, only fellow comrades, victims to the greedy man who’d kidnapped them. Losing Melanie would be like losing a mother, and dying on this island filled her with such a sense of guilt and sadness that her eyes filled with fresh tears, threatening to spill over.

Still, it did not change the fact that often left Kaz sick to her stomach - the truth was simple yet morbid. There were many who came to the island unaware that they would never be free again, destined to die of either sickness or crime. In admitting that the fact was true, it felt like giving up all hope of ever leaving.

“Is it bad,” Sorscha asks, her voice barely above a whisper, eyes focused on the glowing fire. “Ya. He seems flustered.”

They didn’t say his name here, not in the only space they had that was theirs. During their time living together, they’d fallen into a natural delusion, a mutual agreement between girls that inside the bunk room, Wainwright was not their captor, and that someday, they would be free again. Often, Kaz dreamed of returning to the sea, to feel the gentle lap of the waves against a ship, to smell the ocean water up close. More than anything, she longed to return to her adventure.

“I wonder if he will replace her.”

Of course he will, Kaz wants to say, but she doesn’t, staring down at the cracked concrete floor. It goes orange in the light of the fire, shadows dancing against the cool surface. Sorscha looks at her again, her eyes a lit with questioning, and a deep desire to understand. Everytime she looked at her like that, Kaz always wondered if she could actually see right through her. If perhaps Sorscha knew all along what Kaz was thinking, who she was. She was good at reading people, at understanding even the most complex feelings and thought processes.

It both intrigued and frightened Kaz, that a girl without power could make her feel so exposed. She felt as though if she stared long enough at her, that Sorscha would somehow figure out even her most well kept secrets, and the possibility made her stomach twist in tight knots. Finally, Sorscha looked away then, her eyes drifting back to the fire.

Silence passed between them then, the atmosphere low and somber as they huddled together in an attempt to ward off the cold. The night was especially brutal, the wind pounding and rattling the thin window panes of the bunk room. She could hear the air seeping in, emitting a high pitched whooshing noise as it slipped past through the aged wood window frame.

“It’s too cold to sleep out here,” Faye grumbled, pulling her blanket tighter around her thin shoulders.

Faye was twenty-four, though she looked much older, and was the eldest of the women in the first room. She’d come after Kaz, had grouched at them for months and fought relentlessly against Wainwright until it earned her a handful of deep, rigid scars across her body. Kaz still remembered the day she stumbled back into the bunk room, her entire body coated in slick warm blood, her eyes distant and dazed. It’d been terrifying, seeing one of their own brought so close to death.

But he didn’t want Faye dead - it wasn’t about killing her. It was about making a statement, not only about her defiance, but to them, about the consequences of their refusal to serve him. After that, Faye relinquished her desire to fight, but there was always a sense of distrust and defiance that would flash in her eyes every now and then. Kaz could see it then, flickering in the warm light of the fire.

“What other options are there,” Another girl, Anzu, says exasperated.

None of the girls respond to her, each lost in a separate thought that keeps them busy. They say nothing because there are no other options. The night grows heavy as the storm rages on, shaking the windows as the girls pull the mattresses from the beds, lining them up around the fire. Still, even with her blanket, the fire, and her jacket, Kaz could not fight the slight chill that had settled in her bones, nor did the feeling return to her hands.

The morning was bright, filled both with the light of the sun, and the thick coverage of fresh snow. It was quiet when Kaz left, the rest of the girls still deep in their slumber. It was just past six am, her footsteps leaving deep prints in the snow as she trudged through, feeling the soft powder fall into her boots and soak her socks. It was a twenty minute trek to the manor when the weather was decent, but as Kaz looked out the vast expanse of the field, she knew that it would take her twice as long, due to the depth of the snow.

Wainwright didn’t offer them transport, but wouldn’t hesitate to seek them out if they failed to show up on time. Kaz worked the closest to him, acting some days as his secretary and others as a member of the defense teams, spending the day with members of his crew at various stations. She enjoyed Island Guard the most. It meant that she could spend the whole day looking out at the ocean, watching the waves crash over the shore, awaiting the arrival of another ship.

She’d never seen one during her time, had never even heard of another ship docking. People evaded the island, mostly because of its reputation. Wainwright had a hold on people in this part of the sea, so their rescue was at that point, impossible. They were not strong enough to stand against his crew of pirates, let alone Wainwright himself. The thought left Kaz with a bitter taste in her mouth, though she had long accepted that she would be on this island for a while.

Whenever he brought new girls, they always questioned the older girls, accusing them of being loyal to Wainwright. With each of them, Kaz heard the same sneering questions, the furious accusations and abhorrent disgust that covered their faces as they threw out allegations. They believed that because Kaz and the others wouldn’t leave or escape, they were fighting for him. But eventually, they all learned.

Escape was an impossible idea filled with a million things preventing them from even coming within a fraction of it. They had no ship, nor could they come close enough to the shore to even embark. They would notice all of them moving, and besides - it wasn’t just about them. There were five other bunk rooms, each with six girls. Kaz could never forgive herself for leaving anyone behind, she feared what even one person’s escape meant for the rest of them.

Thirty-six girls to free was no easy task, and Kaz was the only one of them that had a Devil fruit ability, perhaps the only one with any actual combat experience. It was an impossible feat for how things were now, and so quietly tucked the idea back into a corner of her mind, deciding not to dwell on it. Dwelling on it would only bring her down, and Wainwright would sense her unease, and no doubtedly make things worse for his entertainment.

She sucked in a breath, wrapping her hands around her as she squinted in the light. The small town had finally come into view, seemingly abandoned with boarded up windows and closed shutters. It was no unfamiliar sight, however. The town always looked like this after a particularly harsh snow storm, and no one had any use to open their shops or restaurants, because who was going to get out on a day like this?

Kaz laughed bitterly. She was getting out on a day like this, when the residents were still nestled warmly in their beds, fast asleep, the idea of working or going out far from their minds. She had no choice, however. Neither did any of the girls, or other slaves, for that matter. The weather did not stop functions at Wainwright manor by any means, and so regardless of any conditions, she was expected to be there.

She trudges past the empty storefronts, sucking cold air into her burning lungs. Her hands burned still from the long exposure to chemicals and the cold the night before. She kept them buried deep into her coat pockets, curled tightly into fists. A gust of wind sweeps her soft, wheat blond hair off her shoulders. It’s gone brittle, damaged from numerous factors. There was a time in which Kaz was considered the most beautiful girl on her island. It was long ago, back in the East Blue, when things were so different and much easier, before she decided to become a pirate, and before she got captured.

Now, that beauty is all but a ghost of the past, and Kaz is an echo of who she once was. Though she has grown stronger thanks to her devil fruit, she’s still ages away from being able to defeat Wainwright, and even further away from escaping without casualties.

Slowly storefronts give way to a seemingly endless road, concealed on both sides by numerous trees, each covered in fluffy snow. When she passes through the flat strip, the manor comes into view through the treeline. It’s a tall, four story building that contains over several bedrooms, multiple bathrooms, a private theater, a chef’s kitchen, and a massive office on the top floor overlooking the entire city, the best view of the ocean on the entire island.

In front of the door, two guards are placed, their eyes focused intensely on her as she approaches them slowly, stomping awkwardly through the snow. She almost trips on the stairs up to the porch, but maintains her balance, keeping her eyesight forward as they open the door for her, a permanent grimace on their faces.

They always look at them like that - with either fury or desire. Both left Kaz feeling uncomfortable and exposed, and quickly made her way towards the staff rooms. In the back of the manor down one of the lost hallways, was a series of rooms dedicated to staff functions. Kaz makes an effort to go there first. She wants to know about Melanie, and the manor servants loved gossip more than anything.

Immediately upon entrance, Kaz ducks her head into a small room with only a table and three chairs. Four people turn to look at her, their eyes a mixture of surprise and distrust. Familiarity crosses their faces, however, and in a second their shoulders fall, mistrust leaving their bodies.

“It’s just you,” One of them, Virgil says.

Kaz stares down at the woman, refusing to smile. She never liked Virgil, and dislikes even more having to rely on her for any information. Still, she forces herself to release the tension in her shoulders and lean against the wall, trying hard to appear casual. Starting trouble now was pointless, and Kaz’s only concern was finding out about Melanie. Fighting wasn’t one of her desires today.

“You look rough,” Virgil grins, lifting a cigarette to her lips, “You sure work hard for him.”

Kaz bites her tongue, hard, jolts of pain shooting through the appendage as she tries desperately to maintain her composure. Virgil was lazy, a laundry maid whose only job was to fold and hang clothes. She didn’t know, Kaz thought.

“It’s not just about me,” Kaz says, “if I decide to go against him, I’m not the only one getting punished. All the girls are.” “So?”

Kaz sits back, stunned.

“If I had even the slimmest chance of escaping by myself, I wouldn’t look back once at the rest of these people.”

She says it and then ashes her cigarette, the bright ember glowing at her, angry.

“How is Melanie,” Kaz forces herself to say.

The truth is, if she dwells any longer on Virgil’s lack of empathy, Kaz was going to reach over the table and strangle her. Virgil scoffs, her eyes flicking down to the table. Though she cared little for others, Kaz knew that Melanie’s illness affected her too.

“The ship doctor began treating her several hours ago, but he hasn’t said what it is, I’m not sure he has any idea either.”

“Did he say anything else?”

Virgil sighed, refusing to meet her eyes.

“That she’s going to die if he can’t figure out what’s wrong.”

She felt like someone had punched her then, hearing only her roaring heartbeat in her ears as she stared at Virgil. Melanie couldn’t die on this island, it wouldn’t be fair, and though things were rarely fair for them, it was an injustice Kaz couldn’t force herself to stomach. She pushed herself off the wall, not bothering to say goodbye to Virgil or the other’s sitting with her. Wainwright would be awake soon, and if she wasn’t in his office when he arrived, she’d be punished.

Quickly, Kaz bounded up the stairs, taking two at a time. Servants were already bustling around, busy with their respective duties. She passed maids carrying fresh linens, one’s holding stacks of fine china, silverware to be polished before breakfast. Her stomach growled at the thought of breakfast, but the snow had made her late, and she was running out of time. She made it up to the fourth floor, trying hard to conceal her heaving chest.

Though she still considered herself a strong fighter, Kaz could never breath by the time she made it to the office. Her mouth was dry when she pushed open the heavy double doors. Inside, the office was empty and silent, the room cold and smelling faintly of citrus. It was Kaz’s favorite room in the manor because of the massive floor to ceiling windows that allowed her to see all the way out to the ocean, but further than she could while on the shore.

Kaz watched the sunlight twinkle on the waves, and longed greatly to return to a ship and feel the gentle rock of the ocean. She looked for only a minute before directing her attention to the desk in the center of the room. It was covered with papers and folders from the day before, having not been put away. Kaz hums, before beginning to sort the stacks.

She sat with Melanie during her lunch.

The room was dark and damp, heavy with moisture. Kaz didn’t eat, sitting in silence next to Melanie’s bed, holding her clammy hand. She didn’t notice when she came in, nor did she respond to Kaz’s many calls of her name. Her face was deathly pale, lips a shade of light blue and eyes glassy, but still, Kaz sat with her. Somewhere, Melanie was still in there, fighting for her life. Kaz owed it to her not to give up on her.

She sat in silence until the Doctor returned. The ship doctor, Harvey, was the most tolerable of Wainwright’s crew, but still regarded Kaz with unease, keeping her at a distance always. It was as though he was almost afraid of her, but she was never arrogant enough to believe such a thing. When he entered the room, he immediately retreated to the farthest wall, his eyes skimming over Melanie, concern etched clearly on his face even through the dim light.

“She won’t last much longer,” he murmurs.

Again, the thought of Melanie dying hits her in the gut, and it takes all Kaz’s strength to hold back the whimper that threatens to spill from her cracked lips. Harvey spares a glance at her then, his eyes ghosting over her clenched fists, her tensed shoulders. She can feel his unease now, the way he longs to escape her company so blatantly. He’s uncomfortable by the prospect of death, even when it’s someone he doesn’t know.

“Isn’t there anything we can do,” Kaz asks softly, her voice taking an almost childish whine.

Harvey looks surprised for a moment, before his face clears, and he shakes his head slowly.

“If I was able to determine what it is, she might have a fighting chance. But all the test’s I’ve run so far have given me inconclusive results. I’ve never seen this mix of symptoms before, never heard of anything like this.”

He gestures to Melanie’s body then, and Kaz moves to look at her again. It strikes a chord within her to see her like this, so lifeless and on the brink of death. It made her feel helpless, even more than she did on the first day. It unnerved her that a woman as strong as Melanie could be struck down by an illness. It felt like a cruel joke of the universe, and at any second, Harvey would laugh and tell her he was joking, that she was going to live after all.

But the relief never comes, and the room remains cast in a heavy silence, with Kaz remaining at Melanie’s side and Harvey awkwardly clinging to the wall, desperate to be as far away as possible from her. Melanie’s eyes roll over to look at her, but she doesn’t see Kaz - not truly. Her eyes are milky, and she struggles to keep them open, but her feeble, bony hand reaches out, touches the top of Kaz’s hand, before tightening and squeezing.

Melanie’s eyes are wide with urgency, her eyebrows pulled together and lips tilted downward in a frown.

“I don’t want to die here, Kaz.”

She breathes it out all at once, before taking another large intake of breath. For a moment, she remains sitting up, looking at her, but after a moment, Melanie’s eyes roll back into her and she’s falls against the mattress. Kaz can’t stop herself, her immediate reaction was to stand up, jerking her hand away from her as Harvey released a startled gasp, leaning over the girl.

“You need to leave,” Harvey says lowly, “you’re causing her more stress.” “Did you hear what she said,” Kaz says, ignoring his demand, “did you hear what she said?”

Harvey looks at her over his shoulders, and his eyes no longer show even a hint of kindness. Instead they are cold, like two pieces of blue-gray ice that threaten to freeze her. His face is a mixture of anger and grief, and Kaz realizes why Harvey is the only one she tolerates. Despite his affiliation to Wainwright, there was something good still inside him, though deeply buried and suppressed. He had it in him too. He grieved when people died, he treated the slaves and patched up any injuries. Still, Kaz remains scornful, steadying her gaze back at him.

The two stare for a moment, both daring the other to look away first, determined to achieve their own victory. In the end, it’s Harvey that looks away first. Kaz smiles to herself, satisfied, but the moment is short lived when her eyes return to Melanie.

“There’s nothing that I can do,” Harvey says. “Then release her to us,” Kaz says, “let her spend her final days with her friends.”

Harvey looks at her as though she’s grown a second, before he releases a large belly laugh that echoes in the small doctor’s office. Kaz winces, huffing slightly as she clenches her fists. Harvey was just the ship doctor, and to her knowledge, he wasn’t one of Wainwright’s fighters. Really, Kaz wondered sometimes why she didn’t just throw a punch. But then reality comes back to her, and she realizes why.

“It’s not about me.”

Kaz’s own words ring in her ears, and she forces herself to unclench her fists. She doesn’t look at Melanie, or Harvey, but keeps her eyes trained on the floor, trying to breathe, to force the promise of tears away before he has a chance to make fun of her.

“You think I have that kind of authority? Ask a favor of the captain, I’m sure he’d do it for a fair price.”

Then Harvey grins, big and wide, and Kaz knows immediately what he’s insinuating, what a ‘fair price’ to Wainwright would be. A shiver runs down her spine, and she can’t stop the sick feeling that hits her at the thought of what it might entail. But Melanie had done so much for her, had done so much for the rest of the girls. If they couldn’t give her one last dying wish, could they even call themselves friends?

Kaz stood to her feet, parting with Melanie with a soft goodbye. She stepped into the brightness of the open hallway, sucking air into her lungs before sighing. She had no choices here, and the thought left her sick to her stomach. Kaz turned reluctantly toward’s Wainwright’s office, bracing herself to return to his side.

So far, the day had been tolerable, and Wainwright seemed only moderately interested in her. It seemed he was genuinely busy, however, meaning his attention on them had weaned, and offered them a bit more freedom, offered Kaz more freedom.

She knocked on the door, the sound soft against the strong oak doors. She heard Wainwright’s muffled voice telling her to come in. Kaz’s hand hovered on the handle, resting just barely on the cold gold, unable to force herself to open the door. It’d been getting harder, forcing herself to do this every day, even if it meant the safety of others. She was growing restless.

Kaz pushed open the door, stepping inside the bright room. She’d taken a late lunch, and so when she returned, she was able to watch the sunset over the town from her own small desk in his office. She worked quietly, filling away various business papers, letters, and other personal documents. Wainwright couldn’t be bothered to organize this, and without her, often lost them and blamed them on the maids. He accused them of throwing them away, which eventually led to him banning any of them from cleaning his office.

Now, it fell on Kaz. It would be another late night, she felt. She looked up at Wainwright for a moment, spying on him through her lashes. He was a man in his mid forties of a medium build, his skin icy white, face splotchy with patches of warm red. For some reason, he had chosen her, above the other girls, to act as his personal assistant, despite her showing no previous loyalty to him. He gave her a powerful devil fruit, because he trusted his hold on her was firm.

And much as Kaz did not want to admit, it was.

“Sir,” Kaz’s voice comes out much softer than she intended, but he looks up still, waiting for her to go on.

She opens her mouth to ask - to ask the cost of freeing Melanie, but she can’t get the word’s out. Instead she stutters, staring at him with her mouth agape.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Wainwright muses, voice heavy and deep, “Or waste my time.” “I’m sorry, sir,” Kaz quickly says, ducking her head.

She feels his eyes on her a moment longer, before they eventually return to his work. Kaz lets out a breath, staring at her own box of paperwork to sort. She lingers only a moment longer, before throwing herself back into the organization.

A serious tone captures the bunk room that night. Kaz sits on the edge of her bed, staring at Sorscha whose face is a combination of upset and fierce determination. Even Saori, who is normally almost always neutral, is filled with determination that surprises Kaz. A look passes between the six, and a silent pact is formed before her eyes.

“You’re a pirate, Kaz,” Faye says, stressing the word pirate, “don’t you wanna do it the pirate way?”

The thought makes Kaz shuffle. Of course, she doesn’t want to do anything for Wainwright, because he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve an award for letting them take her, for letting her die in peace after he uprooted her entire life to serve him. But then, they were no match for Wainwright, or any of his guard’s for that matter. The majority of them were not trained fighters, and even those with combat abilities still didn’t stand a chance against the seasoned crew of the Sea Serpents.

“Of course,” Kaz says, “but if we get caught, something bad could happen to us. You know that more than anyone, Faye.”

Kaz knows she’s crossed a boundary when the room goes quiet and Sorscha shoots her a look of disappointment, but she doesn’t regret what she’s said. Even Faye is quiet, staring at her with an unreadable expression before a small frown comes to her face. It’s an unspoken rule between them, not mentioning the past, or the abuse. Whatever Wainwright did to them when they were alone, it became a secret they carried with them.

“I’m just so tired of sitting here and doing nothing,” Faye says, her voice desperate, “Everyday we come back here, exhausted, defeated, and we do nothing. I can’t keep living like this. I’d rather him kill me.”

“Don’t talk like that!” Sorscha shouts.

Kaz jumps, staring at her friend. Sorscha’s face, illuminated by the light of the fire, is furious.

“Shut up, you don’t want to die. Don’t ever say you’d rather die.”

Faye realizes then, and her face goes warm and her cheeks are red. She drops her head in shame, mumbling a low apology, and even Kaz’s shoulders remain tense when the realization washes over her. To even wish to be dead felt like a smack in the face to Melanie, who was fighting so hard to stay alive. Still, Kaz thought of Melanie all alone in the Doctor’s office in the manor, and a sick feeling surfaced in her stomach.

“I have no doubt that Wainwright will ask something perverted, but if it means getting Melanie out of there, I think the cost is worth it,” Kaz says. “No,” Saori argues, shaking her head, “you don’t have to do anything with that pervert, we can find another way.”

“Kaz,” Sorscha says, her voice low, “you know the manor better than anyone. Is there anyone on the inside you’ve made friends with?”

Kaz scowls, feeling like a failure. Of course she hadn’t bothered to make friends while at the manor, and now the thought leaves her bruised. If she had, they could get Melanie out, but what was Sorscha implying? Kaz looks up, studying Sorscha’s face, trying to get a read on her.

“What are you asking me to do, Sorscha?” “I’m asking you to sneak in and get her out of there during the night when all the heaviest security is on the opposite side of the building guarding Wainwright.”

“The pirate way,” Faye says, grinning.

“If we get caught-” “Don’t get caught,” Sorscha says, “simple.”

chapter two ♡ [ tba ]

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