nat| đșđŠ | 28 | hxh & jjk brainrot | one big unpopular opinion
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when push comes to shove, she can be insanely brutal. even to the things she genuinely loves.
her and light were mutually parasitic for too long, there's no place left for those meaningful family connections built on selfless love and care. credit where credit is due: all the loose screws in neon's head are the result of his influences. he knows he fucked up with her upbringing and it's too late to start over.
you reap what you sowed, dude.
@anotherworldash @thelovelyghostwriter @gothicpastelpink
look who's writing again!
[intentional cruelty]
"zenji, wait!â her words cut their conversation in half; tugged zenjiâs attention to the eyes neon held in her hands. âyou really came all this way just for this?â
âi came here to take them from you.â
the scene was set: the distance of two flights of stairs, a fraction of a moment from âoh, thank god, you've come to your sensesâ to âdon't you dare, neonâ because he was her father, and he knew her better than anyone in the world, because even there, in their broken home, there were rules that should never be violated, no matter the circumstances. neon said âhave themâ and dropped the tubes - it was fast, their frame fragile, shards flying in all directions, formalin leaving wet spots on dark wool of their suits, staining the leather of their shoes.
âtheyâre yours, have them,â she repeated, eyes fixed on the pattern broken glass left on the repolished marble - someday i might also end up like this: broken and lifeless, with no one around who would care - the thought was fleeting, interrupted by zenjiâs full, sated laughter bouncing off the high walls.
âyour daughter really is a fucking devil, light,â he said, happy, friendly, hand on her fatherâs shoulder, eyes on her.
âno, wait-â
âgod really found a way to punish you for your greed.â Â
god had nothing to do with any of it. it was a private family lesson between neon and her father, zenji - just a passer-by. she felt like it was coming, that sooner or later papa would try to get his hands on her treasures, put them up for sale - would be more than happy to get rid of her collection he never really approved of - neon just didnât know when and how. maybe it was for the best that it happened like this: in the middle of the night, with the stranger knocking at her bedroom door, telling her to give the scarlet eyes away. they gave neon no time to cave in under the pressure of fatherâs promises, made her make a split-second decision, discover new parts of herself, the ones capable of intentional cruelty. Â
âzenji, iâŠâ father never finished the sentence. there was nothing to offer. nothing to say. neon cut off his silver tongue with the pair of scisors.
âgood luck out there, light. youâll needed it.âÂ
âgoing home with empty hands?â neonâs question made zenji stop, one foot out the door.
he looked at her over the shoulder, eyes hidden behind the shaded glasses, wolfâs smile, âkeep your trash, fortuneteller. i have no use for your sick trinkets.â trash, word irritated neon, a needle scratching over the vynil. made her want to drop something right on zenjiâs head, crack his skull like an eggshell.Â
âdo you have any idea what youâve done?!â he was out before neon could spot something heavy enough; left her one on one with fatherâs fury, âwe couldâve had everything back, neon! everything! but you just had to go and fuck it up! again!â
theyâve met halfway, neon stopped two steps up, their eyes at the same level; he was enraged, and she felt next to nothing (in the past, it always was the other way around).
âwhy? why are you like this?â his voice turned fated, defeated. he knew it was too late to graft a sense of family duty into neonâs heart, to teach her blind obedience.Â
neon tried to remember what was it like before they had a gift to sell and failed, her childhood memories all hazy, mute. "next time, ask before trying to take what's mine,â walked past him, all leverages they had against each other rendered useless; had more important things to do, her attention on the eyes and nothing else. touched by open air, they lost their color, a treasure stripped of any value, useful no more, just a thing: dead, dull, and damaged. well, that makes two of us, neon thought. felt kinship she never felt before to anyone or anything. had no one to talk to about it, elizaâs absence acutely noticeble in the moment, her goodbye still unwilted in neonâs head - âiâm sorry, i canât stay hereâ.Â
(father accepted her resignation; neon said nothing, had no right to force her to stay, couldnât make things right anymore, felt guilty and hated it. let eliza go - out of sight, out of mind.)
home was three-in-the-morning quiet, empty; neon got down to work, for the first time in forever on her knees, rubber gloves on. was fixing the mess she made, tried to rationalize sadness that was eating her alive.
iâm just lonely, thatâs it. it will pass.
it will pass.
#their relationships are so fascinating#and such a good foil for the way silva and ging treat their kids#anyway#happy happy happy you liked it!#writing these little character studies for neon is so fun!
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@anotherworldash @thelovelyghostwriter @gothicpastelpink
look who's writing again!
[intentional cruelty]
"zenji, wait!â her words cut their conversation in half; tugged zenjiâs attention to the eyes neon held in her hands. âyou really came all this way just for this?â
âi came here to take them from you.â
the scene was set: the distance of two flights of stairs, a fraction of a moment from âoh, thank god, you've come to your sensesâ to âdon't you dare, neonâ because he was her father, and he knew her better than anyone in the world, because even there, in their broken home, there were rules that should never be violated, no matter the circumstances. neon said âhave themâ and dropped the tubes - it was fast, their frame fragile, shards flying in all directions, formalin leaving wet spots on dark wool of their suits, staining the leather of their shoes.
âtheyâre yours, have them,â she repeated, eyes fixed on the pattern broken glass left on the repolished marble - someday i might also end up like this: broken and lifeless, with no one around who would care - the thought was fleeting, interrupted by zenjiâs full, sated laughter bouncing off the high walls.
âyour daughter really is a fucking devil, light,â he said, happy, friendly, hand on her fatherâs shoulder, eyes on her.
âno, wait-â
âgod really found a way to punish you for your greed.â Â
god had nothing to do with any of it. it was a private family lesson between neon and her father, zenji - just a passer-by. she felt like it was coming, that sooner or later papa would try to get his hands on her treasures, put them up for sale - would be more than happy to get rid of her collection he never really approved of - neon just didnât know when and how. maybe it was for the best that it happened like this: in the middle of the night, with the stranger knocking at her bedroom door, telling her to give the scarlet eyes away. they gave neon no time to cave in under the pressure of fatherâs promises, made her make a split-second decision, discover new parts of herself, the ones capable of intentional cruelty. Â
âzenji, iâŠâ father never finished the sentence. there was nothing to offer. nothing to say. neon cut off his silver tongue with the pair of scisors.
âgood luck out there, light. youâll needed it.âÂ
âgoing home with empty hands?â neonâs question made zenji stop, one foot out the door.
he looked at her over the shoulder, eyes hidden behind the shaded glasses, wolfâs smile, âkeep your trash, fortuneteller. i have no use for your sick trinkets.â trash, word irritated neon, a needle scratching over the vynil. made her want to drop something right on zenjiâs head, crack his skull like an eggshell.Â
âdo you have any idea what youâve done?!â he was out before neon could spot something heavy enough; left her one on one with fatherâs fury, âwe couldâve had everything back, neon! everything! but you just had to go and fuck it up! again!â
theyâve met halfway, neon stopped two steps up, their eyes at the same level; he was enraged, and she felt next to nothing (in the past, it always was the other way around).
âwhy? why are you like this?â his voice turned fated, defeated. he knew it was too late to graft a sense of family duty into neonâs heart, to teach her blind obedience.Â
neon tried to remember what was it like before they had a gift to sell and failed, her childhood memories all hazy, mute. "next time, ask before trying to take what's mine,â walked past him, all leverages they had against each other rendered useless; had more important things to do, her attention on the eyes and nothing else. touched by open air, they lost their color, a treasure stripped of any value, useful no more, just a thing: dead, dull, and damaged. well, that makes two of us, neon thought. felt kinship she never felt before to anyone or anything. had no one to talk to about it, elizaâs absence acutely noticeble in the moment, her goodbye still unwilted in neonâs head - âiâm sorry, i canât stay hereâ.Â
(father accepted her resignation; neon said nothing, had no right to force her to stay, couldnât make things right anymore, felt guilty and hated it. let eliza go - out of sight, out of mind.)
home was three-in-the-morning quiet, empty; neon got down to work, for the first time in forever on her knees, rubber gloves on. was fixing the mess she made, tried to rationalize sadness that was eating her alive.
iâm just lonely, thatâs it. it will pass.
it will pass.
#i love writing neon borderline EVIL!#she's so lucky kurapika wasn't around because he would've killed her... like for real for real!#eliza was the closest thing to a friend neon had and no one will convince me otherwise#hunter x hunter#hxh#neon nostrade#light nostrade#oh look i wrote something#character study#sentence by sentence i edit the silkworm chapters aka making characters even worse than they were in original#it's a struggle but it's worth it
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The Worst of Evil | ì”ì
ì ì
(2023) dir. Han Dong-wook
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this is literally what kurapika sees when he looks at chrollo vs what neon sees when she looks at him:
#hxh#hunter x hunter#chrollo lucilfer#neon nostrade#kurapika kuruta#kurokura#kuroneon#kurapika: you're a fucking monster#neon: *heart eyes* you're a fucking monster *heart eyes*#while we're at it#god fucking bless ji chang wook and his absolutely amazing expressive eyes#everyone go and watch 'the worst of evil' right now#you'll thank me later
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the urge to rewatch exhuma after visiting the graveyard to bring flowers for the family is so fucking strong it's not even funny.
#my horror palette is very limited because i get scared super easily but the movie is so good i'm willing to risk it#i mean i watched it for the first time in the middle of the night#i can do it again#exhuma#probably me favorite horror movie ever
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THE BACKPEDALING, THE BACKPEDALING AAAAAAAAAAA

a) mafi trying to disown the plot SHE WROTE is kinda hilarious, I'm not gonna lie.
b) i was saying it from the very beginning: andersette would be too powerful together that's why mafi had to make them both stupid af to make that shitty ending happen lol.
*power of love my ass*
c) 'we'd be all puppets of the RE'...
first of all, BITCH WHO'S WE????????????
second of all, bold of kenji to assume re would even exist. anderson would literally burn that shit to the ground to protect juliette (and also because everyone there is fucking annoying).
and last but not least, what all of you would be is fucking dead.
p.s.: btw, 'i hate this story' so like... are they just regularly sit around and talk about it? why even bring it up? it's been ten years, daddy dearest is long dead. let it go.
#that one ahs meme but 'there will be no reestablishment you stupid slut'#mafi was at her best when she was writing anderson and his fucked up relationships with the people he loveshates#he's like spices: automatically makes things BETTER#scenes in defy me were so good they made me CARE ABOUT WARNER#and when i say the andersette scenes were the only readable parts of imagine me I MEAN IT#he should've had at least one convo with adam I WAS ROBBED#and while we're at it#warner and his never-ending pity party#*rolls eyes* what else is new#he really had no character development since believe me lol#imagine me#watch me#aaron warner#james kent#paris anderson#shatter me series
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and... it fucking happened AGAIN.
so, there i was, watching doom at your service, giggling and kicking my feet - because how can you not?just look at that smirk

...where was i? oh, yes, i was remembering seo in guk in project wolf hunting and thinking OH, THE RANGE THE RANGE!

and then, i decided to check his filmography and the death's game came up, and i was like: WHAT????? I WOULD'VE REMEMBERED IF HE WAS THERE! then, i looked at the poster and went... oh... OH.
i literally watched the whole-ass kdrama where he plays THE MAIN CHARACTER.
well, now i have an excuse to rewatch it and cry myself to sleep after the final episode (again).
can't fucking believe that i've watched "the worst of evil" and "bad and crazy" back to back and didn't realize that this guy
and this guy...
...are both this guy:
the power of acting, lol.
#i'm like that tiktok sound AHAHAHA... AGAIN! AHAHAHAHA... AGAIN!#yep that's me#doom at your service is so good i'm absolutely loving it here!#the way this specific genre of kdramas always makes me feel like i'm thirteen and reading my first romance book lol#seo in guk#and that birthmark under his eye... hmmm hmmmmmmm#not a single thought in my head#his character being killed off in the middle of PWH movie WAS A CRIME AGAINST ME PERSONALLY#still a good fucking horror movie#bloody as fuck#80% of the budget went to buy 1000000000000 gallons of fake blood i swear
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my copy of 'radical classic' by takahiro imai is here AND I'M SO IN LOVE WITN THE WAY HE PAINTS







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me: i'm done with the shatter me series. enough is enough.
mafi: anderson lore.
me af:
he is to me what a catnip to a cat, i swear to god.
#me going DENIAL IS THE RIVER IN EGYPT every time someone mentions that he's dead#HE'S ALIVE IN MY HEART#and he'll always be#the way nostalgia hit me right in the face when i saw him mentioned UGH BYE#I FUCKING MISSED HIM SO MUCH IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY#BTW NO MOM LORE? HOW DO YOU GIVE ME JAMES' POV BUT NO MOM LORE??????????????#but maybe it's for the best#my favourite kind of villian#paris anderson#shatter me#watch me
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Ji Changwook as Andy REVOLVER (ëŠŹëłŒëČ), 2024
#THE TAGS!!!#so true so true!#terrible little gremlin puppy who did everything wrong ever đ„ș#ji chang wook#revolver 2024#i love the way there are like ten different emotions fighting each other in his eyes alone#ji chang wook the actor that you are!
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i write kuroneon/kuraneon because i love these ships (it's an excuse to write 30000 words of neon's backstory).
seriously, creating neon's lore is literally my favorite way to spend time, i just know that her childhood was fucking insane.
the way togashi gave me the perfect amount of canon details, and left everything else BLANK. thank you! especially for neon being a nen genius (no one taught her nen, she's just made a wish and it came true #builtdifferent).
imagine being so good at shit you don't even know exists that you make grown-ass mafia men take your little poems seriously (and also light is a fucking papager that advertised the hell out of her predictions, but it's a topic for another post).
anyway, if there's one thing i would like to see in canon is her starting her flesh collection because what would prompt a teenage girl to see a baby's head in a jar and go OH I WANT IT IN MY ROOM! (her head is actually a dark-dark place).
isn't she adorable?
#her mind her everything just... chef's kiss#but it's also about light being the boss of some small gang before lovely ghostwriter happened...#so like maybe money laundering some racket or illegal gambling... bodies buried here and there#still can't believe that he said to kurapika I'M NOT GONNA STOP UNTIL I RULE THE WORLD EVEN IF I'LL MAKE EVEN MORE ENEMIES#imagine having that man as your father#no wonder neon is the way she is#but fuck it's fun to build all those past experiences she had!#some good (discovering love for corpses) some bad (attempted kidnappings left and right)#the amount of headcanons i have for lovely ghostwriter alone is like...insane.#talk about hyper fixation!#my mafia princess#the fairest of them all!#hxh#hunter x hunter#neon nostrade#when it comes to my faves i'm a yappatron 3000#also probably why i always gravitate toward minor characters because i can do whatever the fuck i want even in canon settings#chrollo lucilfer#kurapika kuruta#kuraneon#kuroneon
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đ2 down, 10 more to gođ
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himâșïž

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aaaaaaa
and the dickriding CONTINUES!
WHY THE FUCK JAMES GOES ABOUT THE COLOR OF WARNER'S EYES OUT OF ALL THINGS đđđ
*again he puts imagine me! juliette to shame with all those physical descriptionsđđđ*
edit: AND WHAT FUCKING REPUTATIONđ
The newest snippet cemented has cemented it for me.
James is idolizing Warner. And that's why his narration is unreliable and WE all know Warner is not as nice as James thinks he is.
That has to be it, right??
Right?!?!
#the harder mafi tries to make warner cool the more cringing it gets#AND EVERYTIME I THINK THAT THAT'S IT SHE GOES 'I HAVE ONE MORE IN ME!'#show don't tell what who where? we don't know her.
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The canonical parasitic nature of Illumi's love for Killua
It's obsessive. It's distorted. It's tangled into his very being

Because there's Illumi, inside his brain. Look at his joy here! His relief!

No thesis here, really, just a collection of disparate thoughts. Their dynamic reminds me of a game of tag: all this preparation for the eventual exchange of power that'll shift the balance of their relationship entirely. Illumi is making sure that Killua is ready to become the Zoldyck family head, but there's also more there.
He's having fun with it. He's pushing Killua every possible direction to see what he'll do. He's going above and beyond. His love of the game is joyfully sadistic and his love of Killua is simultaneously clinical and overpowering. He's isolating the variables, he's pulling the strings, he's protecting, and his protection is in the domain of control.
Illumi's study of contradictions fascinates and delights me.
#HIS PROTECTION IS IN THE DOMAIN OF CONTROL#ohhh#oh that hit me GOOD#op GETS IT#hunter x hunter#illumi zoldyck#killua zoldyck#illukillu#hxh
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a fly and a dog covered his tracks. lee tang is like the disney princess of serial killers
#đđđđđđđđđđ#true true trueeee#DISNEY PRINCESS OF SERIAL KILLERS đđđđ#help đđđ#lee tang
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Cha Woo-min as Pi Han UI STUDY GROUP (2025)
#he literally did nothing but serve face break bones and ruin lives for the whole season I LOVE HIM!#study group#pi han ui#aka the softest fucking voice to ever be soft#THE EARRINGS!!!! THE EARRINGS!!!!!! THE EARRINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the way his eyes literally came alive and started to shine with joy when he was fighting gamin uuuuggghhhh SO GOOOODDDDD#my favourite kind of villian
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