effei-s
effei-s
not in wonderland
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nat| đŸ‡ș🇩 | 28 | hxh & jjk brainrot | one big unpopular opinion
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effei-s · 16 days ago
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when push comes to shove, she can be insanely brutal. even to the things she genuinely loves.
her and light were mutually parasitic for too long, there's no place left for those meaningful family connections built on selfless love and care. credit where credit is due: all the loose screws in neon's head are the result of his influences. he knows he fucked up with her upbringing and it's too late to start over.
you reap what you sowed, dude.
@anotherworldash @thelovelyghostwriter @gothicpastelpink
look who's writing again!
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[intentional cruelty]
"zenji, wait!” her words cut their conversation in half; tugged zenji’s attention to the eyes neon held in her hands. “you really came all this way just for this?”
“i came here to take them from you.”
the scene was set: the distance of two flights of stairs, a fraction of a moment from ‘oh, thank god, you've come to your senses’ to ‘don't you dare, neon’ because he was her father, and he knew her better than anyone in the world, because even there, in their broken home, there were rules that should never be violated, no matter the circumstances. neon said ‘have them’ and dropped the tubes - it was fast, their frame fragile, shards flying in all directions, formalin leaving wet spots on dark wool of their suits, staining the leather of their shoes.
“they’re yours, have them,” she repeated, eyes fixed on the pattern broken glass left on the repolished marble - someday i might also end up like this: broken and lifeless, with no one around who would care - the thought was fleeting, interrupted by zenji’s full, sated laughter bouncing off the high walls.
“your daughter really is a fucking devil, light,” he said, happy, friendly, hand on her father’s shoulder, eyes on her.
“no, wait-”
“god really found a way to punish you for your greed.”  
god had nothing to do with any of it. it was a private family lesson between neon and her father, zenji - just a passer-by. she felt like it was coming, that sooner or later papa would try to get his hands on her treasures, put them up for sale - would be more than happy to get rid of her collection he never really approved of - neon just didn’t know when and how. maybe it was for the best that it happened like this: in the middle of the night, with the stranger knocking at her bedroom door, telling her to give the scarlet eyes away. they gave neon no time to cave in under the pressure of father’s promises, made her make a split-second decision, discover new parts of herself, the ones capable of intentional cruelty.  
“zenji, i
” father never finished the sentence. there was nothing to offer. nothing to say. neon cut off his silver tongue with the pair of scisors.
“good luck out there, light. you’ll needed it.” 
“going home with empty hands?” neon’s question made zenji stop, one foot out the door.
he looked at her over the shoulder, eyes hidden behind the shaded glasses, wolf’s smile, “keep your trash, fortuneteller. i have no use for your sick trinkets.” trash, word irritated neon, a needle scratching over the vynil. made her want to drop something right on zenji’s head, crack his skull like an eggshell. 
“do you have any idea what you’ve done?!” he was out before neon could spot something heavy enough; left her one on one with father’s fury, “we could’ve had everything back, neon! everything! but you just had to go and fuck it up! again!”
they’ve met halfway, neon stopped two steps up, their eyes at the same level; he was enraged, and she felt next to nothing (in the past, it always was the other way around).
“why? why are you like this?” his voice turned fated, defeated. he knew it was too late to graft a sense of family duty into neon’s heart, to teach her blind obedience. 
neon tried to remember what was it like before they had a gift to sell and failed, her childhood memories all hazy, mute. "next time, ask before trying to take what's mine,” walked past him, all leverages they had against each other rendered useless; had more important things to do, her attention on the eyes and nothing else. touched by open air, they lost their color, a treasure stripped of any value, useful no more, just a thing: dead, dull, and damaged. well, that makes two of us, neon thought. felt kinship she never felt before to anyone or anything. had no one to talk to about it, eliza’s absence acutely noticeble in the moment, her goodbye still unwilted in neon’s head - ‘i’m sorry, i can’t stay here’. 
(father accepted her resignation; neon said nothing, had no right to force her to stay, couldn’t make things right anymore, felt guilty and hated it. let eliza go - out of sight, out of mind.)
home was three-in-the-morning quiet, empty; neon got down to work, for the first time in forever on her knees, rubber gloves on. was fixing the mess she made, tried to rationalize sadness that was eating her alive.
i’m just lonely, that’s it. it will pass.
it will pass.
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effei-s · 17 days ago
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@anotherworldash @thelovelyghostwriter @gothicpastelpink
look who's writing again!
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[intentional cruelty]
"zenji, wait!” her words cut their conversation in half; tugged zenji’s attention to the eyes neon held in her hands. “you really came all this way just for this?”
“i came here to take them from you.”
the scene was set: the distance of two flights of stairs, a fraction of a moment from ‘oh, thank god, you've come to your senses’ to ‘don't you dare, neon’ because he was her father, and he knew her better than anyone in the world, because even there, in their broken home, there were rules that should never be violated, no matter the circumstances. neon said ‘have them’ and dropped the tubes - it was fast, their frame fragile, shards flying in all directions, formalin leaving wet spots on dark wool of their suits, staining the leather of their shoes.
“they’re yours, have them,” she repeated, eyes fixed on the pattern broken glass left on the repolished marble - someday i might also end up like this: broken and lifeless, with no one around who would care - the thought was fleeting, interrupted by zenji’s full, sated laughter bouncing off the high walls.
“your daughter really is a fucking devil, light,” he said, happy, friendly, hand on her father’s shoulder, eyes on her.
“no, wait-”
“god really found a way to punish you for your greed.”  
god had nothing to do with any of it. it was a private family lesson between neon and her father, zenji - just a passer-by. she felt like it was coming, that sooner or later papa would try to get his hands on her treasures, put them up for sale - would be more than happy to get rid of her collection he never really approved of - neon just didn’t know when and how. maybe it was for the best that it happened like this: in the middle of the night, with the stranger knocking at her bedroom door, telling her to give the scarlet eyes away. they gave neon no time to cave in under the pressure of father’s promises, made her make a split-second decision, discover new parts of herself, the ones capable of intentional cruelty.  
“zenji, i
” father never finished the sentence. there was nothing to offer. nothing to say. neon cut off his silver tongue with the pair of scisors.
“good luck out there, light. you’ll needed it.” 
“going home with empty hands?” neon’s question made zenji stop, one foot out the door.
he looked at her over the shoulder, eyes hidden behind the shaded glasses, wolf’s smile, “keep your trash, fortuneteller. i have no use for your sick trinkets.” trash, word irritated neon, a needle scratching over the vynil. made her want to drop something right on zenji’s head, crack his skull like an eggshell. 
“do you have any idea what you’ve done?!” he was out before neon could spot something heavy enough; left her one on one with father’s fury, “we could’ve had everything back, neon! everything! but you just had to go and fuck it up! again!”
they’ve met halfway, neon stopped two steps up, their eyes at the same level; he was enraged, and she felt next to nothing (in the past, it always was the other way around).
“why? why are you like this?” his voice turned fated, defeated. he knew it was too late to graft a sense of family duty into neon’s heart, to teach her blind obedience. 
neon tried to remember what was it like before they had a gift to sell and failed, her childhood memories all hazy, mute. "next time, ask before trying to take what's mine,” walked past him, all leverages they had against each other rendered useless; had more important things to do, her attention on the eyes and nothing else. touched by open air, they lost their color, a treasure stripped of any value, useful no more, just a thing: dead, dull, and damaged. well, that makes two of us, neon thought. felt kinship she never felt before to anyone or anything. had no one to talk to about it, eliza’s absence acutely noticeble in the moment, her goodbye still unwilted in neon’s head - ‘i’m sorry, i can’t stay here’. 
(father accepted her resignation; neon said nothing, had no right to force her to stay, couldn’t make things right anymore, felt guilty and hated it. let eliza go - out of sight, out of mind.)
home was three-in-the-morning quiet, empty; neon got down to work, for the first time in forever on her knees, rubber gloves on. was fixing the mess she made, tried to rationalize sadness that was eating her alive.
i’m just lonely, that’s it. it will pass.
it will pass.
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effei-s · 1 month ago
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The Worst of Evil | 씜악의 악 (2023) dir. Han Dong-wook
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effei-s · 2 months ago
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this is literally what kurapika sees when he looks at chrollo vs what neon sees when she looks at him:
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effei-s · 2 months ago
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the urge to rewatch exhuma after visiting the graveyard to bring flowers for the family is so fucking strong it's not even funny.
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effei-s · 2 months ago
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THE BACKPEDALING, THE BACKPEDALING AAAAAAAAAAA
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a) mafi trying to disown the plot SHE WROTE is kinda hilarious, I'm not gonna lie.
b) i was saying it from the very beginning: andersette would be too powerful together that's why mafi had to make them both stupid af to make that shitty ending happen lol.
*power of love my ass*
c) 'we'd be all puppets of the RE'...
first of all, BITCH WHO'S WE????????????
second of all, bold of kenji to assume re would even exist. anderson would literally burn that shit to the ground to protect juliette (and also because everyone there is fucking annoying).
and last but not least, what all of you would be is fucking dead.
p.s.: btw, 'i hate this story' so like... are they just regularly sit around and talk about it? why even bring it up? it's been ten years, daddy dearest is long dead. let it go.
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effei-s · 2 months ago
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and... it fucking happened AGAIN.
so, there i was, watching doom at your service, giggling and kicking my feet - because how can you not?just look at that smirk
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...where was i? oh, yes, i was remembering seo in guk in project wolf hunting and thinking OH, THE RANGE THE RANGE!
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and then, i decided to check his filmography and the death's game came up, and i was like: WHAT????? I WOULD'VE REMEMBERED IF HE WAS THERE! then, i looked at the poster and went... oh... OH.
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i literally watched the whole-ass kdrama where he plays THE MAIN CHARACTER.
well, now i have an excuse to rewatch it and cry myself to sleep after the final episode (again).
can't fucking believe that i've watched "the worst of evil" and "bad and crazy" back to back and didn't realize that this guy
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and this guy...
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...are both this guy:
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the power of acting, lol.
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effei-s · 2 months ago
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my copy of 'radical classic' by takahiro imai is here AND I'M SO IN LOVE WITN THE WAY HE PAINTS
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effei-s · 3 months ago
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me: i'm done with the shatter me series. enough is enough.
mafi: anderson lore.
me af:
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he is to me what a catnip to a cat, i swear to god.
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effei-s · 3 months ago
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Ji Changwook as Andy REVOLVER (ëŠŹëłŒëȄ), 2024
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effei-s · 3 months ago
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i write kuroneon/kuraneon because i love these ships (it's an excuse to write 30000 words of neon's backstory).
seriously, creating neon's lore is literally my favorite way to spend time, i just know that her childhood was fucking insane.
the way togashi gave me the perfect amount of canon details, and left everything else BLANK. thank you! especially for neon being a nen genius (no one taught her nen, she's just made a wish and it came true #builtdifferent).
imagine being so good at shit you don't even know exists that you make grown-ass mafia men take your little poems seriously (and also light is a fucking papager that advertised the hell out of her predictions, but it's a topic for another post).
anyway, if there's one thing i would like to see in canon is her starting her flesh collection because what would prompt a teenage girl to see a baby's head in a jar and go OH I WANT IT IN MY ROOM! (her head is actually a dark-dark place).
isn't she adorable?
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effei-s · 3 months ago
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😈2 down, 10 more to go😈
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effei-s · 3 months ago
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himâ˜ș
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effei-s · 4 months ago
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aaaaaaa
and the dickriding CONTINUES!
WHY THE FUCK JAMES GOES ABOUT THE COLOR OF WARNER'S EYES OUT OF ALL THINGS 😭😭😭
*again he puts imagine me! juliette to shame with all those physical descriptions😭😭😭*
edit: AND WHAT FUCKING REPUTATION😭
The newest snippet cemented has cemented it for me.
James is idolizing Warner. And that's why his narration is unreliable and WE all know Warner is not as nice as James thinks he is.
That has to be it, right??
Right?!?!
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effei-s · 4 months ago
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The canonical parasitic nature of Illumi's love for Killua
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It's obsessive. It's distorted. It's tangled into his very being
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Because there's Illumi, inside his brain. Look at his joy here! His relief!
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No thesis here, really, just a collection of disparate thoughts. Their dynamic reminds me of a game of tag: all this preparation for the eventual exchange of power that'll shift the balance of their relationship entirely. Illumi is making sure that Killua is ready to become the Zoldyck family head, but there's also more there.
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He's having fun with it. He's pushing Killua every possible direction to see what he'll do. He's going above and beyond. His love of the game is joyfully sadistic and his love of Killua is simultaneously clinical and overpowering. He's isolating the variables, he's pulling the strings, he's protecting, and his protection is in the domain of control.
Illumi's study of contradictions fascinates and delights me.
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effei-s · 4 months ago
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a fly and a dog covered his tracks. lee tang is like the disney princess of serial killers
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effei-s · 4 months ago
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Cha Woo-min as Pi Han UI STUDY GROUP (2025)
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