eg2henchmen

[eg2henchmen]

Polar

- Deep Six

Runs the place like a ship, refers to the other henchmen as crewmates and the workers as the crew, is the only person the Great White Shark in the Tank Trap will let get close enough to feed it, don't refer to him as captain, to him, Polar is the captain, he is the First Mate, acts like it too as he tries to make sure the lair is reasonably safe for the workers, gets along best with Dr. Ming, if given the opportunity he will ramble about sea creatures for hours at a time, the suit makes it a bit hard to understand people at times so he tends to nod along if he can't understand something, he's polite to those he works with but ruthless against his enemies

- Dr. Ming

So happy to be working with fellow eco-terrorists, a bit confused by Deep Six using ship lingo but entirely too excited to question it, keeps arguing for a compost option for body's so she can have fresh fertilizer, will fist fight you if you claim global warming isn't a thing, only thing stopping her from biting you is the glass, her plants are her babies and she will kill for them, has a greenhouse set up in the base which is a miracle considering the base is in an iceberg, has added some sea weed and algae to her greenhouse at Deep Six's recommendation

- Sir Daniel

If endangered creatures don't go extinct then there's more things to hunt, has the wildest stories similar to Ernest Hemingway, happy to talk rare creatures with the first two, talks fishing techniques with Deep Six, still considers super agents the most dangerous game but considers Polar and Dr. Ming the next most dangerous, him saying he'd think you'd make good prey is his version of a compliment, occasionally hunts yellow workers for fun, this can last up to a month and end in anything from a simple knock on the head, slight stab in the shoulder, or even shot in the head

- Fugu Furkawa

Is on board because more fish means more types of poison for her dishes, not a total marine expert, just in cooking them, Deep Six will sometimes ramble about the different species of fish she cooks, she used to find it annoying thinking that he was trying to explain her job to her but now she's realized that he just really likes fish and has actually learned a lot about them, bonds with Eli over not knowing much about the actual environment and just being there for money

- Eli Barracuda Jr

Now knows way more about Barracudas than when he first joined, did not ask for all this info on the fish but now two of his coworkers know all about fish and the other two encourage the behavior, definitely the one with the best social skills, gets along best with Fugu, doesn't mind being the odd one out because it means that he's pretty much the only henchmen in the casino to the point that he's been mistaken as the owner, he was surprised that the shark tank trap was actually a trap and not just Deep Six deciding to keep adopt a shark as a pet

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Red Ivan

- Atomic Olga

Right hand, her gun is her baby, has thrown herself into her work with vigor, scared that Ivan knows her secret weakness and therefore tries to put her 110% into her new job, was originally very curt with her fellow henchmen but has since loosened up, gives big bear hugs to the fellow henchmen, she's like the fun aunt who will throw down with anyone who hurts her fellow henchmen, still visits her figure skater brother for competitions and holidays, it's the one thing she'll fight Ivan on

- Full Metal Jackie

Left hand only due to the fact that Olga goes above and beyond in her attacks, doesn't mind it really, leaves her more time to develop weaponry and make sure everything is in working order, if she likes you she gives you the experimental weapons, because she's including you in the process of making weapons and that's special, it can be mistaken for dislike as many early versions of weapons tend to blow up, enjoys talking about dangerous animal encounters with Sir Daniel

- Sir Daniel

Will sometimes just hide away in a potted plant and people watch, enjoys talking about hunting and animals, actually has a zoology degree, versed in a wide range of combat and weapons, if he compares how you tackle problems to a type of hunting (endurance, ambush, pack, etc) that means he enjoys your company, if he goes into Bush mode anytime you're near, he's avoiding you or hunting you, you gotta guess which

- Pyro

Quiet but emotive, speaks through mumbles, keeps in contact with most of the other tf2 members, protective of fellow henchmen, thinks Olga and Heavy should meet, red team Pyro, the first to get Olga to loosen up, gives matches and lighters as gifts, carries a fire axe as a melee weapon, will sometimes have a tf2 member over even though he's not supposed to, he gets away with it because they help defend the base if there's an attack while they're over

- Clara Jones

Always hunting for something new to steal, the only person here who can be in the casino and not disturb the patrons, recruited because she impressed Jackie who convinced Ivan not to kill her, gets along with Sir Daniel as they talk about their travels, feels cooped up from staying in one place for so long and would kill to get off the island for one day, instead she and Sir Daniel has this game where he hides and she tries to find him as fast as possible and if she doesn't find him within a certain amount he comes out of hiding, when he's found or when he comes out of hiding the two go into a full on brawl (neither use their guns in this part), it's fun for both of them but nobody else knows it's a game so they just see Clara and Daniel routinely get into fights, there is definitely a betting pool

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Zalika

- Iris

Right hand, been there since the beginning, very matter a fact, unknowingly sassy, only leaves Zalika's side to fetch people for subtle reasons, to fight, or at Zalika's instruction, has a little personality developing and it's becoming a cat person, refuels by "drinking" oil, knows everyone's secrets because everyone forgets about the camera's

- Janet Bombe

Actually useful, head of technicians, god of encryptions and sea life, side hobby of marine biology, does get nippy with scientists asking to poke at her and her magnet field, always happy to code, her coding encryption is filled with references to marine life hidden under layers of encryption, sassy but filled with respect for Zalika, the only one Iris doesn't have emergency blackmail on, the human right hand

- Dr. Ming

Plant lady to the extreme, respects the environment and those who respect the environment, gets along great with Janet in this respect, technically the minions are supposed to tend to the plants around the base but she does a much better job, has mini versions of the cure ability that she gives to people she likes, if you come to her for plant advice you'd better have a good excuse as to why you didn't take good care of it the first time, if she doesn't kill you over it she'll check up on the plant repeatedly until she's sure you can manage

- Clara Jones

Her expertise in codes makes her ideal to collaborate with in encoding and translation into other languages, Clara and Janet have a competitive streak with each other, half the minions think they're dating, they aren't but they genuinely enjoys each other's company and can send each other encrypted messages that no one else can read, just as restless, can and will wrestle people with little prompting

- Full Metal Jackie

The science stuff goes over her head a bit so she knows she's kinda on the bottom of the chain but she gets paid so who cares, gets along decently enough, here for weapons and explosions, actually a really good chemist but it took a while for that fact to come up, was mildly affronted that Janet Bombe did not carry Bombs and quickly gifted her some, very laid back

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Emma

- Fugu Furkawa

Loyal to her families restaurants and is forever in Emma's debt from killing her biggest critics, is on the shortest leash but doesn't mind it, will kill you if you suggest she makes fried anything, does not eat anything she doesn't cook herself, orders the blowfish herself

- Eli Barracuda Jr

Hates being on a short leash and Emma knows it, everyone thinks he's the right hand man because he's more social than Fugu, only this high because he's very effective and gets along very well with all the other henchmen, the most social of the henchmen and the designated "chaos wrangler" as he can talk Incendio and Symmetry out of their more chaotic ideas ... when he wants to, he'll absolutely encourage them if he thinks the damage will be minimal and he'll be amused by it

- Clara Jones

Has a wide variety of knowledge of hidden things, codes, and traps, always fidgeting, has never watched a Lara Croft or Indiana Jones movie and now fully intends to never watch them since everyone is convinced she knows about them, will fist fight you if you say that aliens have anything to do with the pyramid

- Incendio

Trickster personality, everyone is low key annoyed by him, but becomes very charming on the casino floor, always has at least three explosives on him, the scent of smoke clings to him, master of cards, pushes boundaries when bored, hates being cold with a burning passion, does not smoke cigarettes yet many people assume he does, these people end up as "volunteers" in his magic acts

- Symmetry

Trickster number two, Incendio has basically taken her under his wing and the two are a chaos duo, learned how to shoot a gun from Eli himself, thinks herself as a Carmen Sandiego type, young and inexperienced but an undoubted master of stealing, likes to cause little scavenger hunts to pass the time with the other henchmen, trails around the other henchmen like a lost puppy, looks up to all four but Clara Jones has hung the stars in her eyes and Incendio is like the best fun uncle she's ever had, also she comes off as very young to me, like she's 21 at best, still a master pickpocket though and has no problem 'jokingly' nabbing her fellow henchmen's wallets

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Maximilian

- Eli Barracuda Jr.

The right hand, recruited from the beginning, enjoys James Bond movies, spends a lot of time either in the casino or in the firing range, knows how to charm or at least stay in the good graces of the other henchmen, if he likes you he gives you tips and tricks of the underworld, Bisexual but not openly out, has a looser leash than the other henchmen

- Carl Caffard

The second hand, knows the art world like the back of his hand, Imitation is Flattery and he takes it to the extreme, he's kinda like a weird cat, if he likes you he'll give you 20+ fake ID, he'll also learn to forge your signature and mimic your voice, slightly parrots people's accents back to them and it can be very jarring, gets bored easily

- Jubei

Has slightly taken Agent X under his wing, not a lot but he can see the anger under the surface, speaks in riddles and proverbs, teacher first, henchmen second, wise in that crazy uncle kind of way, angry all the time but really good at hiding it, everyone forgets this 90% of the time but then he attacks or interrogates someone and everyone remembers he's been around this long for a reason

- Agent x

In the casino or when people invade, he acts like Agent X, but otherwise he acts like Sam Hill, bookish, amazing investigator, still quotes American literature way too much, defends America but trashes on P.A.T.R.I.O.T, his shotguns are still named Truth and Justice, the only person who can mildly parse together what Jubei's strange sayings mean

- Doom Hilda

Always sing-songy, enjoys all types of music but opera is her favorite, socializes with all the workers which makes her something of an unofficial favorite among the work force, gives big hugs, has to be careful about singing at high frequencies so she doesn't shatter everyone's glasses

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this actually got seen by the developers of this game and they said and I quote "very cool"

[eg2henchmen]

Which out of all the doomsday machines is Iris's favorite? (Since in the sexuality post it was said that Iris has a crush on the doomsday machine)

Thank you for all these questions!

Definitely V.O.I.D , which is Zalika's doomsday device. Since it directly interacts with technology, information, and hypnotizing people. I think she'd find it the most awe inspiring out of any of them. Plus, Zalika made the IRIS AI when she was like, 6? So it feels fitting that her doomsday device is Iris's favorite.

For the other doomsday devices, it's kinda less about what they do and more the presence and size and all that? She admires the power behind them.

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Has Jackie seen Pyro's full weapon set? If so what does she think about the degreaser, power jack, phlogistinator, and manmelter? I can only imagine how much she hates the panic attack because of its impractical design.

I think she probably would have seen Pyros full weapon set, since we don't have to follow game mechanics here. Most henchmen specialize so much they don't use a lot of variety. Meanwhile Pyro is rotating out weapons like they're playing hot potato.

Degreaser: I think she'd be very interested in the clearly DIY weapon, as the faster weapon switch probably comes from it being lighter in weight.

Powerjack: I'm not sure. Probably impressed by the creativity? And also baffled by the seeming speed boost?

Phlogistinator: Probably rolls her eyes at the ray gun design but intrigued and impressed by the damage boost.

Manmelter: Again, the style isn't her thing but the functionality of putting out the on-fire minions (and henchmen) and then doing bigger damage would be very interesting!

Panic Attack: I don't know enough about gun design to really know what she'd think of the design, but I think she'd laugh once it becomes winter and she sees the added Christmas lights.

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What do you think the minions feel about the robotic DLC minions? What do they both think about the abominations?

I'm not sure. It's hard for me to find information or gameplay for either of these.

(Also, when you say minions, I'm assuming you're asking about the henchmen, since that's what i focus on.)

I think Iris finds the robotic minions flawed, simplistic, and not worth her time. Especially since they explode when their health reaches zero. Pyro would enjoy the explosions and resulting fires.

I think most henchmen would find them a little odd to work with, especially the social ones, and it's annoying to have to factor in something else to watch out for in a fight. But, overall, if the genius says it stays, it stays.

The Abominations get a little more of a reaction. Generally, people are a little more unsettled by the living dead than just robots. Dr. Ming would be disappointed that she can't use the bodies as fertilizer. Iris doesn't really have a reaction at all, it's just another group of people to manage.

Sir Daniel would be especially unsettled because wtf did they just do to the natural order of things? I can't see him objecting to the geniuses face, but I can see him methodically avoiding as much contact with them as possible.

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Since Pyro invites the other mercs to the lair which merc would get along with who? I can see Demo and Jackie sharing a drink while testing out new explosive recipes.

I think Sir Daniel would get along alright with Sniper. Although Scout hates getting hunted everytime he comes over (the speed is such a fun challenge).

Scout - I feel like most henchmen are really put off by his attitude. Maybe Symmetry? If she takes his talk like a challenge and the two get competitive.

Soldier - Agent X. Not by Agent X's choice. Soldier saw his uniform and he decided they were friends.

Demoman - Full Metal Jackie. Explosive buddies. I can absolutely see the two sharing a drink.

Heavy - Atomic Olga. She reminds him of his sister's. Atomic Olga also enjoys being able to speak Russian with someone else (I think she's Russian. I hope that's right.) They both have their favorite guns and gladly talk shop.

Pyro - Incendio. Incindeo likes how easily praised he gets for even the smallest flame and Pyro enjoys hanging around another fire spreader. Having both in one place at once it the fastest way to burn something down.

Engineer - He admires the work done to create Iris, although if we're talking humans, I can see him getting along well with Janet Bombe. Maybe Deep Six as well, with that suite of his.

Medic - Him and Dr. Ming could come up with some truly horrific things.

Sniper - Sir Daniel. Could see them swapping hunting stories regarding their most dangerous game.

Spy - Jubei, surprisingly. He recognizes and respects that Jubei had to have lived this long by being very very good at what he does.

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are Jackie and Clara Jones dating?

None of the henchmen are dating in my version of things, but I'm down to talk about the dynamics if they were!

Either way, I could see this being an interesting dynamic. A very money hungry pair. Their love language would be giving stolen stuff to each other.

Clara stealing ancient weaponry as gifts for Jackie like axes and spears. Jackie absolutely adores trying them out on intruders, although nothing tops her own explosives.

Clara is so used to people trying to flirt with her to get to dig sites or to try and backstab her, that Jackie's flirting is a unique and refreshing take: complimenting her weapon choice, talking weapon shop, listening to Clara retell her favorite stories of heists, etc.

I think Jackie would have fallen slowly over time and never really had a sudden "Oh" moment. She realized the feeling, went "Yah, that checks out" and went about her day.

Clara? She's so used to unwanted flirting and focusing on the next prize, i don't know if she's ever even had a crush before. It clicks in her brain one day and suddenly: Oh. Oh no. Works through the feelings by tearing apart the training rooms shooting galleries.

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do you have any EG2 ships? I quite like Zalika/Polar myself :)

Personally, idk, like I mentioned in my previous post, I can't see the evil geniuses dating anyone. Maybe Polar before the events of the story, but by the end I can't see it. I don't have any ships myself but I can think of a few ideas.

Eli x Espectro could be a fun combo. Espectro being very theater kid coded and Eli having that smooth charm.

Sir Daniel x Incendio. Always watching x always performing. Sir Daniel thinks the addition of fire make Incendio very strong prey indeed. Incendio is never quite sure how to take that complement.

Wrecking Bola x Atomic Olga. Good girls gone bad. They wrestle to flirt with each other.

Honestly, I could see Doomhilda x Espectro as a fun combo (ignore how I headcanon Hilda as a lesbion, she could just as easily been bi or pan). Two theater kids putting on a show for each other.

While I personally, think of them as best friends, I could see Clara Jones x Janet Bombe as a Rivals to Lovers, or even better, Rivals and Lovers situation. It's love through insults, wrestling, and one upping each other while having genuine respect for each other.

Send me an ask if you have any other ship ideas or want me to elaborate on any of these!

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We know Eli's bi but what are the other henchmen's sexualities?

I feel like none of the henchmen are interested in dating (at least at the time of the game) so, you could probably put aromantic in the front of any of these headcanons and it would still work fine.

Straight - Carl Caffard, Fugu Furukawa, Agent X

Gay/Lesbian - Janet Bombe, Sir Daniel, Doomhilda,

Bi - Symmetry (of course), Full Metal Jackie, Espectro

Pan - Clara Jones (attracted to mystery), Incendio, Wrecking Bola, Atomic Olga

Ace - Deep Six, Dr. Ming, Jubei

Has a crush on the doomsday machine - Iris

???? - Pyro

For the evil geniuses, I feel like all of them are AroAce. They're all so ... evil genius-y it's hard to imagine them considering dating.

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We know Eli's bi but what are the other henchmen's sexualities?

I feel like none of the henchmen are interested in dating (at least at the time of the game) so, you could probably put aromantic in the front of any of these headcanons and it would still work fine.

Straight - Carl Caffard, Fugu Furukawa, Agent X

Gay/Lesbian - Janet Bombe, Sir Daniel, Doomhilda,

Bi - Symmetry (of course), Full Metal Jackie, Espectro

Pan - Clara Jones (attracted to mystery), Incendio, Wrecking Bola, Atomic Olga

Ace - Deep Six, Dr. Ming, Jubei

Has a crush on the doomsday machine - Iris

???? - Pyro

For the evil geniuses, I feel like all of them are AroAce. They're all so ... evil genius-y it's hard to imagine them considering dating.

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Polar. Even though I don't like the cold, I like her motivation.

if you were a minion which evil genius would you work for

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Do you have any headcannons about the geniuses themselves?

Man, it has been a while since I got into the eg2 fandom! I never got any additional asks so it just kinda fizzled out!

Since my knowledge is quite dusty, these won't be nearly as long as the henchmen ones.

Polar - the white skin isn't make up, it's from a cryogenic experiment accident, which is also the reason both her arms are missing. The reason her hair is styled over one eye like that is because she needs glasses, but only for one eye. She didn't like wearing glasses so by covering one eye, her vision basically functions as normal.

Maximilian - while he loves gold, he actually doesn't like the feeling of cold jewelry on his skin. I'd like to imagine he has a mild allergy to silver.

Red Ivan - Since he was a henchman at one point, he treats his minions fractionally better than the other Evil Geniuses. Well, not all of them. He expects the same 110% attitude as he had when he was a henchmen from his own. So the run of the mill henchmen might actually have it worse, but if you're say, head of a small project or head of a department, he does somewhat minerly hold on to his frustration and listen to them if there are things like delays or issues. It's most noticeable with how he treats his henchmen.

Emma - She originally started developing a resistance to poison for fun in her teen years, then as a strategic decision for her career, and now she just genuinely enjoys the taste of hemlock in her tea. The poison resistance actually saved her life, but the assassination attempt left her without much use of her legs. She can walk but only in short bursts and she's very wobbly.

Zalika - reads fanfiction. Probably wrote fix-it fanfiction when she was younger. She sees her henchmen as like- mini social experiments? She'll push their buttons to watch them tic, but in really minor ways? Like, shifting their stuff 3 inches to the left or messing with the lairs temperature to see how they react.

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thank you for this blog-

Nice to see you! I'll be honest, I don't really have much of a plan for this blog, but I don't plan on letting it rot either. I'm in college and midterms are approaching fast so I won't be able to work on this blog super often, but I'll add what I can. Feel free to send asks with your own headcannons for fun dynamics between henchmen or what it would be like for certain sets of henchmen working together!

Look, I'm going to make a Fandom for these fun little characters with my own two hands no matter what, but things always go better with feedback!