Text
someone: shows me any kind of affection expecting nothing in return
me, shaking, crying a little: wtf
83K notes
·
View notes
Text
feminism is about blunts and weed. its about smoking marijuana, and as much of it as you can get your hands on
73K notes
·
View notes
Text
Put a little bit of semen in your girlfriend everyday so that she can build up an immunity to pregnancy
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
boys are extremely confusing and unpredictable
412K notes
·
View notes
Conversation
Bar scene in horror film
Protagonist: (mentions local urban legend)
Bar band: (stops playing)
Everyone: (goes quiet)
Me, not noticing the silence and continuing loudly in the background: So yeah apparently now it's "unacceptable" to scrub your ballsac in a public bathroom
157K notes
·
View notes
Text
*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*
525K notes
·
View notes
Text
unpopular opinion
the grinch was sexy BEFORE he was played by benedict cumberbatch. if you only want to fuck the grinch because he might be played by benedict cumberbatch then DONT act like a real grinch fan when some of us have died for this. fuck you
121K notes
·
View notes