eggbagelsjr

[eggbagelsjr]

Drop that recipe babe 🙏

@batmansymbol @ghost-flakes Showing some love for @acciomjolnir and her lovely fic Until the ink runs dry. The last chapter with Draco’s description of the Roast chicken from the Three Broomsticks... it was so well written.... and sounded so delicious....I made the damn chicken. Hope you enjoy the tease and fuck me I can’t seem to tag you @acciomjolnir sorry I’m bad at tumblr.

[eggbagelsjr]

[eggbagelsjr]

Ch3/19: “Lonely Souls.” (~’o’)~

My greatest fear is that I will post one of these out of sequence and not realise...

A bit to unpack here!! We're dipping our little toe into angsty waters... I hope you enjoy. This chapter was such a challenge. There was so much I wanted to convey in just a dozen slides.

I’m going to keep the text description just to Ao3 I think, going forward? It kept getting cut off here and I don’t have the kind of personality that can continue to let that happen.

[eggbagelsjr]

One Way or Another Summer 2024

by PacificRimbaud

What: OWA will be a serialized work of choice-based fiction where readers vote to decide what happens next. I just really want to see Tumblr polls used to make weird unmarketable fiction.

Who: You! Me! Literally anyone! Vote if you like, read if you please, reblog if you're moved, hopefully this is a relaxing diversion for anyone who plays along in the coming weeks.

When: Until the story's done or it stops being fun (I feel like I need a cross stitch sampler of this sentence).

Where: Tumblr dot com; each entry will be uploaded to AO3 as well. I'll post links to the AO3 work as we go.

How: Vote in regular Tumblr polls to determine what our as-yet unnamed Protagonist does next. Make them evil! Make them horny! Make them tear off a latex mask mid-story to reveal they're actually their own uncle, dead these last twenty years! I'm just the guy that types! Polls remain open for 24 hours.

First up: Genre! All of these genres are amazing and I would write every one of them with great joy and interest. Watch for character poll(s) later today.

[eggbagelsjr]

Welcome to the very first chapter of my fic "Hermione Granger and the Petulant Poltergeist." If you found the 1995 movie 'Casper' to be the height of romance as a child, then this is the fic for you. There will be ups and downs for our favourite duo, but you're in safe hands <3 I really hope you'll join me on this adventure. Slide description:

"Dear Miss Granger,On behalf of the Ministry of Magic, we would like to offer the Malfoy Manor Estate as not only reparations for the personal toll the war had on you and your family, but as a thank you for your efforts saving the wizarding world from certain ruin. Please find attached a copy of the deed and title. Yours Sincerely, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Hermione looked nervously up from the paper in her hand and mouthed "Oh my," as her eyes travelled up the stone path, to the foreboding manor before her.

The gates of Malfoy Manor creaked open in recognition of their new owner. Hermione swallowed and made her way down the stone path, her suitcase and Crookshanks trailing behind her.

Standing in the foyer, she stared in awe at the magnificent crystal chandelier directly above her. The portraits looked down at her and Crookshanks with distain, though they didn't utter a word.

Treading quietly across the marble tile, she made her way up a spiral staircase, all the while looking around in awe at the lavish manor. Crookshanks followed a few paces behind.

She alighted at the first landing and wandered down the wide hall, the eyes of portraits followed her in silent disapproval.

As she passed an archway, a flash of something silver caught her eye, she turned and gasped when she saw what- who, rather, it was.

The spectral form of Draco Malfoy glowered at her from across the room, his elbow resting on the mantle of a fireplace. "Granger." He said. "What do you think you're doing here?"

In complete shock she uttered "Malfoy, you're a-a ghost."

He pushed off from the mantle, his steps made no sound as he crossed the carpet to stand over her. "Way to point out the obvious, Granger." He said icily. "You have no business being here. This is my father's residence."

His eyes lingered on hers, before he twisted away. "Leave." He demanded, his back to her. "Please Malfoy." Hermione said, the smallness of her voice magnified by the vast empty room. "I have nowhere else to go."

Malfoy spun to face her. "That's hardly my concern." He sneered.

Finding her courage she met his combative glare with a severe one of her own. "Well you can't make me leave." She said simply, realising he was in fact a ghost and therefor couldn't lay a finger on her. Malfoy grit is teeth and said. "we'll see about that."

[eggbagelsjr]

Draco Malfoy's inventory! 😏

[eggbagelsjr]

[eggbagelsjr]

Harry Potter Rec Fest Day 28 - Underrated

I'm not sure exactly what my definition of "underrated" ought to be for this @hprecfest prompt, but I went with "doesn't get recommended in the circles I run in as often as I think it should".

The Boy Who Died A Lot by starcrossedgirl Podfic by JocundaSykes Pairing: Harry x Severus Word count: 71,767 Length: 7:59:00 Rating: E

This fic is so funny and the podfic is stellar. JocundaSykes' comedic timing is superb. I think the premise is pretty clear - Severus saves Harry's life over and over, but he's soooo mad about it! Check the author's tags, but I promise it's a happy ending.

The Roommate by @romaine2424 Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 42,729 Rating: M

This was one of my favorite fics from @hd-erised last year. Cottage vibes, awkward roommate interactions, Draco learns to cook (this might be my favorite trope ever???), and both boys working through some stuff in a painful but ultimately rewarding way. They're just so sweet to one another and the side characters are used really well.

************************************************************************

And finally, a couple of little self-recs ...

Lumos by birdsofshore - a Podfic (Spotify) Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 41,476 Length: 3:52:00 Rating: E

I was skeptical when I started reading this. I never thought so much masturbation could be so sweet. But the way the characters and the relationship are developed in parallel with wandless magic is really lovely and well-designed. The smut is also all very hot!

The Freak Accident in Room 1905 by @eggbagelsjr - a Podfic (Spotify) with art by @tinyq Pairing: Draco x Hermione Word count: 8,830 Length: 54:04 Rating: T

@etl-echo-audiobooks had an awesome Art-Fic-Podfic Fest last June to celebrate Draco's birthday and their 2.5 year anniversary. This fic is on another level - it's packed with so much plot and action for a fic so small. Please check out the AO3 version, because @eggbagelsjr created a very cool redacted casefile for the fic. The art is also incredible!!!! Selected tags to entice you further: Idiots in Love, Co-workers, Bombs, Bad Jokes About Dentistry, Memory Loss

[eggbagelsjr]

“Harry, why was Draco Malfoy just screaming bloody murder about his wife?”

Heard this audio and immediately thought of this fic…..

ff: Wait and Hope by mightbewriting

[eggbagelsjr]

“The towering, snow-covered fir trees of the densely packed forest cast a premature darkness over everything and blocked the late afternoon sunlight. But that darkness served its purpose as they came around a bend in the trail into an open clearing.

“Oh my…” Hermione trailed off breathlessly.

While they’d previously been surrounded by dark trees, they now found themselves encircled in yellowish, twinkling lights. Even Draco could admit, albeit begrudgingly, that the sight was quite spectacular. The bright little fairies sparkled and danced all around, some flitting from tree to tree while others remained dormant, pulsing in place. A low humming sound pierced the quiet stillness of the forest, otherwise silent but for Draco and Hermione’s cold puffs of breath.” - Remain Nameless, chapter 35, by @heyjude19-writing

[eggbagelsjr]

Harry Potter Rec Fest Day 16 - a fic that made you laugh

This is such a fun prompt, @hprecfest! I knew immediately the fics that I would choose. Funny how laughing out loud in a silent train or waiting room makes the memory of a fic stick in your head (ditto tomorrow's prompt - a fic that made you cry).

Bouquet by @breathofthephoenix and @curlykay (Audio version on the Fanfic Affliction Podcast) Pairing: Draco x Hermione Word count: 26,760 Length: 5-ish hours of podcasting (including commentary) Rating: E

The Draco-Hermione banter in this fic is top tier. I laughed out loud repeatedly. They decide to fake relationship for all the events of the Parkinson-Potter wedding and of course, fall for real.

The audio version is from a (possibly?) abandoned podcast where two British ladies read fan fiction to one another. They stop frequently to comment and laugh, but it's a testament to the incredible writing of the fic that I remember it so clearly still.

Ten Visits to Fire and Flight: The World of Dragons by @sandervansunshine Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 17,324 Rating: E

Another wonderful fic from @hd-fan-fair Career Fair 2023. I just loved all the little world-building details of this fic. Draco is a museum curator and in competition/rivalry with the other museum departments. Harry brings all the next gen kids to visit his exhibition, frequently. Also included: "from the mouths of babes" hilarious truth bombs, hot semi-public sex, momentary jealousy over a very fit Charlie Weasley, and dragons dragons dragons! No podfic version yet, but I would love the chance to do it.

************************************************************************

And a couple of little self-recs ...

Not Safe for Work by @eggbagelsjr Podfic read by Cailynwrites (with @etl-echo-audiobooks) Pairing: Draco x Hermione Word count: 6,001 Length: 42:08 Rating: M

@eggbagelsjr is HILARIOUS. I'm only sorry that some of the puns in this didn't translate very well to the audio medium in my recorded version. But the dynamic between Draco and Hermione is so great here, awkward Human Resources worker Draco in his tiny little office is sad and cute, nerdy sapiosexual getting together between the pair while writing an academic article is 100% my bag, and I had to edit out a lot of laughing as I recorded this.

The Morning After by birdsofshore and @capiturecs Podfic read by Cailynwrites (with @etl-echo-audiobooks) Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 5,382 Length: 33:12 Rating: M

The main pairing for this fic really ought to be enemies-to-lovers Draco x a toaster, with background Drarry. It switches between Draco POV and the toaster POV, and it's hysterical. It even led to this joke on Instagram when the toaster reared its ugly head again in Way Down We Go.

[eggbagelsjr]

Not What It Looks Like by eveningstruggle

Not What It Looks Like (4983 words) by eveningstruggle Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Friends With Benefits, Christmas, inspired by miss manners, draco is a terrible photographer, Community: dhr_advent, Christmas Presents Summary:

A hot, panicky hurt begins to throb inside her chest. This doesn’t make sense. Is it some type of horribly misguided practical joke? Revenge for shutting him down a few months ago? Or—is it a parting gift? A “so long and thanks for the memories, now I’m off to fuck someone else?” ”What—” Her voice croaks. She clears her throat and tries again. “What the fuck is this, Malfoy?” Confusion creases his forehead. “They’re photos of you.” She’s five seconds from bolting back through the Floo. “I can see that. Why have you given me two dozen terrible photos of myself for Christmas?”

Or: Draco gives Hermione a Christmas gift.

[eggbagelsjr]

I commissioned the lovely @/guine_evere (on insta) to do this lovely artwork of Hermione. I had an image of her out and about in wizarding world and she created such a lovely piece! 🥰🥰

[eggbagelsjr]

Professor Malfoy Version 2.0 😮‍💨

This one for sure is a DADA (daddy?) professor.

[eggbagelsjr]

here, have another dramione brain rot doodle :)

[eggbagelsjr]

@owllinallover has truly sent me to an early grave with this stunning artwork of my two sweet baby angels from YDIFM. She is the absolute queen of speaking volumes through a single look and I will never stop looking at this. AH! I love it - thank youuuuu <3

[eggbagelsjr]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by: @heyjude19-writing my beloved

Tagging: @eveningstruggle @ambpersand @eggbagelsjr

a lil snippet from the broom-averse guide to magical methods of transportation:

"How'd it happen?" He asks, touching his canine with the tip of a finger. "This."

She’d practiced telling the story. Not in the mirror or anything, but under her breath. Sifted through the words like she was choosing the ripest produce at a supermarket instead of what she was really doing, which was trying to tell a story in which she does not play the fool.

"Purchased from a Spirit Halloween," she says.

Weasley's furrowed brow tells her he hasn't spent an October in America.

Pansy tries a different tack.

"A complicated sex ritual. There was lots of blood, the whole thing perfectly wicked," she says, flashing him a coy smile.

The skepticism in his stare is discomfiting. He searches her face like he can see past her sunglasses and right through her bluff, and then a smile blooms on his face, so wide it brings to mind Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You.

"It's embarrassing, isn't it?" He says.

"You assume I experience the full spectrum of human emotion," she says, employing her skill of admitting nothing and cinching the subject closed in one fell swoop.

Weasley snorts, rubbing his hand over his mouth.

"What?" She asks.

"Hermione once told me that I've got the emotional range of a teaspoon," he says, nudging her with his elbow, "so between the two of us, maybe it's closer to a soup spoon. You know, the kind that cuts the corners of your mouth if you try to shove it all in at once?"

She presses her lips together.

"I forget that you people just say whatever idiotic thing comes to mind," she says, biting the inside of her cheek to kill the fondness residing there.

He drums a beat against the dashboard with his long fingers.

"There are worse things to be, I s’pose,” he says contemplatively. “A spoon keeps us bite-sized. Digestible.” 

“Easy to swallow?” Pansy says, the corner of her lips kicking up.

Weasley’s choke of laughter was worth it.