eifen-rosel

[eifen-rosel]

My uncle just sent this to me

He understands my level of humor

[eifen-rosel]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT FINALE POLL 3

[Poll 1, Poll 2]

PROPAGANDA:

[Grunkle Ford]

"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."

"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.

reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.

one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"

so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."

"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

[Garak]

"Because he would be soooo annoying about it and it would be funny."

[eifen-rosel]

Successor

(Poster under the cut bcs I put my whole ass into it.)

[eifen-rosel]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT FINALE POLL 2

[Poll 1, Poll 3]

PROPAGANDA:

[Julian]

"he is EXTREMELY submissive and breedable."

[submitted by @justanotherkathrynjanewayblog]

[Garak]

"Because he would be soooo annoying about it and it would be funny."

[eifen-rosel]

So we can't get a book accurate film adaptation but we can get a book accurate Dior bag

[eifen-rosel]

if youre an angel i bet someone putting their hand through your halo feels good. like in a dizzy/brain fuzzy way. bonus points if its to pet your head

[eifen-rosel]

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

[eifen-rosel]

Wishing all BDSM kinksters some restrained summer fun this season

[eifen-rosel]

i like to think that i got fired from my last liquor store job because they caught me on the security camera swinging the 1.75l bottle of willett pot still reserve bourbon like a baseball bat on a slow day

[eifen-rosel]

the jump from 2015 to 2020 was 10 years but the jump from 2020 to 2025 was 11 months

[eifen-rosel]

girl helppp

[eifen-rosel]

[eifen-rosel]

[eifen-rosel]

Just saw an ad for fucking Kellog's cornflakes wherein a shirtless blindfolded man tied to a bed is like "Wait.. are you... eating??" and it pans across the bed to reveal that his partner is, indeed, too distracted to have sex with him bc she is chowing down on corn flakes. Now I've been caught up in wondering whether:

a) John Harvey Kellog would despise this ad; the mere proximity of bondage-play to his brand name and beloved anti-porn flakes is unforgivable

b) John Harvey Kellog would enjoy this ad, because it shows a young woman forsaking the temptations of the flesh in favour of eating a wholesome and nourishing bowl of cornflakes

[eifen-rosel]