eirone-and-cheese

[eirone-and-cheese]

Hey, wanted to drop by and say that I was really impressed with how you responded to the whole debate on autism. Especially to summarise it into a simple explanation; it is a spectrum. Like you said, we are not a monolith. And sometimes, even people with autism tend to forget that.

And for you to do so respectfully, while still fostering people's beliefs and backgrounds, is an impressive skill to have.

Well done to thee 😘

😭😭😘😭

fuck it, you're getting a keysmash (of joy!)

behsj;krtshegzrbj,df;lbj?!?!?! !!!!

phthbhththb thank you??? oh my--

[eirone-and-cheese]

ooookay, I'm gonna submit this here so the nonnies can see it

(missck if you choose to reblog my post instead, pls feel free to ignore this ask, lol)

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786710746228736000/httpswwwtumblrcomthelovelymissck786710056928

(in response to the above link):

*siiiigh*. goddammit, I get where all 3 nonnies are coming from, and I don't think have the mental energy to pick them apart (edit: spoiler, I was wrong).

sparknotes:

nonny 1: you're valid, I see you, it must be really frustrating and hurtful and invalidating seeing strangers throw around an important diagnosis--that you fought hard for--like it's an insignificant label or a buzzword.

nonny 2: see my previous post, you ate, no crumbs, agree 100%. Autism is more intricate (and varied) than what's shown to the public (and portrayed in media), so it's unfair when people think they recognize 'autistic traits' in a stranger, and armchair diagnose them with your serious disability.

nonny 3: it sounds like you see him, and empathize with him, and recognize some of your numbness/depression in his actions. And that is good and wonderful and sweet of you; empathy isn't a trait that all people are automatically born with (like smiling--did you know that we all can smile? even people who have been blind since birth know how to--I'm getting off track). Empathy isn't innate, and it's lovely to not only see someone foster it despite their own current mental health struggles, but see someone foster it in spite of having a disability that stereotypically makes it even harder to understand people. (No joke, as a small kid I literally attended 'classes' that taught me what different emotions were, and how people facially express them. And in my experience, empathy is more complex than understanding the difference between 'frustrated' and 'upset'.)

TLDR; none of us know him, and--from the sounds of it--NONE of us are qualified to diagnose anyone. But the variety of responses and austistic perspectives shown today is really, really great to see. Well done nonnies, you each single-handedly proved that we're not a monolith, and that people with our diagnosis vary.

In short: good eduation on austistic perspectives was done today, great job, go hit the showers.

signed, an austisic sister who kinda wishes she could turn off her empathy right now, just for the peace, lol. (a.k.a., eirone-and-cheese)

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786718160407724032/httpswwwtumblrcomthelovelymissck786710746228

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786718135711612928/httpswwwtumblrcomthelovelymissck786710746228

(added these links because they're also relevant to the topic)

Thank you for sharing this

[eirone-and-cheese]

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786710746228736000/httpswwwtumblrcomthelovelymissck786710056928

Jesus Christ calm the fuck down. No one’s diagnosing him or saying it’s an excuse. They’re saying his mannerisms match their own and they wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

You’re acting like a gatekeeper of autism or something, a notoriously VARIED disorder.

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786710746228736000/httpswwwtumblrcomthelovelymissck786710056928

This and first anon. It is getting very triggering to see people try and defend his bad behavior by saying I wouldn’t be surprised if he had autism or he does. Autism is not an excuse for bad behavior. It’s also really disheartening to see people equate his behavior to autism? What does that mean? That we all act like privileged assholes? Because that’s what it sounds like when people say he’s autistic. It sounds like you’re trying to say that people with autism are assholes who act like they don’t care about other people.

I've never equated his behavior to autism, nor have I ever said people with autism are asshole who act like they don't about other people. Dudes an asshole point blank period. I know this isn't directed towards me, just showing you where I stand

[eirone-and-cheese]

*siiiigh*. goddammit, I get where all 3 nonnies are coming from, and I don't have the mental energy to pick them apart.

sparknotes:

nonny 1: you're valid, I see you, it must be really frustrating and hurtful and invalidating seeing strangers throw around an important diagnosis--that you fought hard for--like it's an insignificant label or a buzzword.

nonny 2: see my previous post, you ate, no crumbs, agree 100%. Autism is more intricate (and varied) than what's shown to the public (and portrayed in media), so it's unfair when people think they recognize 'autistic traits' in a stranger, and armchair diagnose them with your serious disability.

nonny 3: it sounds like you see him, and empathize with him, and recognize some of your numbness/depression in his actions. And that is good and wonderful and sweet of you; empathy isnt a trait that all people are naturally born with (like smiling--did you know that we all can smile? even people who have been blind since birth know how to--I'm getting off track). Empathy isn't innate, and it's lovely to not only see someone foster it despite their own current mental health struggles, but see someone foster it in spite of having a disability that stereotypically makes it even harder to understand people.

TLDR; none of us know him, and--from the sounds of it--NONE of us are qualified to diagnose anyone. But the variety of responses and austistic perspectives shown today is really, really great to see. Well done nonnies, you each single-handedly proved that we're not a monolith, and that people with our diagnosis vary.

In short: good eduation on austistic perspectives was done today, great job, go hit the showers.

signed, an austisic sister who kinda wishes she could turn off her empathy right now, just for the peace, lol.

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786710056928460800/throwing-this-out-here-i-have-autism-formerly

Ok last time I respond to this diagnosing a STRANGER with autism. I’m the first nonnie to say this, you cannot diagnose someone you don’t know. Not only is it highly offensive because like the other nonnie said, most of our symptoms are either not recognized or they’re deemed as “weird” and you become an outcast. Please, quit trying to fucking diagnose strangers. You cannot do that and it is getting really annoying to me because I did not fight for my diagnosis only to see strangers try and justify this guys actions by saying it’s just autism. That’s gross, autism isn’t an excuse and it’s so incredibly invalidating

Previous nonny wasn't diagnosing anyone from what i read. They were talking about their experience and said they wouldn't be surprised if he were or weren't. Is that who you're responding to or the original nonny who started this discussion yesterday?

[eirone-and-cheese]

lol, hiiiii!!! We're in the same boat!! It feels like you have no (or barely any) hope, and you're just doggy-paddling to get by, right?

funnily enough, he is technically ND, just not in the way we automatically assume 'ND' is. Like, I'm not alone here, right? When you hear the term 'neurodivergent,' you think of people on the spectrum, or people with some kind of ADHD, right?

well, having dyslexia counts as being neurodivergent, so he actually technically is one. I dunno if burnout affects people with dyslexia in the same way it does people with ASD, though., so... 🤷‍♀️

Throwing this out here, I have autism (formerly known as asperger), and I am coincidentially, in the midst of an autistic burnout and depression. I have been for the past 8 months. And because the main source of this burnout is not going away for a loooong time, I have not much to look forward to.

Things that I used to care so deeply for, all emotions both whimsy and gloomy, have been replaced by a state of numbness and driven by an exhaustion that sucks the joy out of everything.

And funnily enough, if you told me Joe was a neurodivergent in the grasp of burnout, wether autistic or not, I would actually not be surprised.

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

ok, first off nonny, I'm gonna need to format your message because that block of text is DENSE.

"I'm also autistic and I don't believe that Joe's autistic or has autistic burnout, and I would really appreciate everyone understanding that just throwing around accusations and using it to excuse people's poor behaviour is very damaging to people on the spectrum.

People don't really take our symptoms seriously most of the time. They think that we're making excuses and are being overly sensitive, and a lot of that is because of misinformation like this: pointing out poor behaviour that isn't a symptom of autism or how it actually presents...

For anyone that doesn't know, one of the main symptoms when it comes to our struggles with communication is masking; we basically present and act a certain way (in social situations and when communicating with people) because we've learned that our way of doing so isn't really socially acceptable. And yes, even when we're deep in burnout we still do it--probably even more so actually--because when we show our symptoms (especially the very difficult one's such as burnout and meltdowns), we've been shown time and time again that people don't really react too well to it.

Masking is a bit of a defense mechanism (we avoid doing the things that cause negative reactions as much as possible, even to our own detriment, because for some reason just about everything we do causes a negative reaction no matter if we have good intentions or are acting the way we've been made to assume we're supposed to, and honestly it really fucking hurts...)

So yeah, I don't really appreciate people saying that he might be autistic or that he has autistic burnout either. Because to me he just seems to not really care about how he's being perceived, he's not trying to hide his lack of interest or possible exhaustion (even though he'd only have himself to blame for that because of spending all his free time going on Raya dates and being papped), and people making excuses for it is starting to get really fucking old."

agree, 100%. On all points. (also, the bit about how masking feels non-negotiably necessary--10000%. Completely. It sucks. It fucking SUCKS that we've been 'trained' by society to act within social parameters that feel uncomfortable and limiting. It's like wearing clothes that are 1 size (or a 1/2 size) too small. You can technically squeeze into them, but it's uncomfortable af, and feels unfair that some people can wear the same clothes completely comfortably and don't see what's wrong with them. You're basically emotionally/socially draining yourself faster just to keep up appearances; you're draining yourself just to fit within a world that NTs built without you (and people like you) in mind.)

(...yeah I have a lot of thoughts about being ASD-flavored ND, specifically how it feels living--and growing up in--america (especially a mildly conservative area of it. "Mildly conservative"= abortion is legal here, casual carry (or whatever it's called) isn't, and lesbians were allowed to dance at prom in suits--BUT there's also fundies, people avoiding being called 'gay' like it's the plague, and the local school system resents that they have to give special needs kids academic support.) anyway--I have a lot of thoughts, but I'm not in the mood to get into that rn.)

(also, lol, this about the guy who admittedly used to roll his eyes or coff (I forget the exact quote) at the term "social battery"? autistic? yeah I don't think so. A person with ASD would be aware of the feeling, even if they didn't have the proper words for it.)

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786656683699159040/we-really-need-to-stop-with-this-autistic-excuse?source=share

I'm also autistic and I don't believe that Joe's autistic or has autistic burnout, and I would really appreciate everyone understanding that just throwing around accusations and using it to excuse people's poor behaviour is very damaging to people on the spectrum. People don't really take our symptoms seriously most of the time, they think that we're making excuses and are being overly sensitive, and a lot of that is because of misinformation like this, pointing out poor behaviour that isn't a symptom of autism or how it actually presents... For anyone that doesn't know, one of the main symptoms when it comes to our struggles with communication is masking, we basically present and act a certain way in social situations and when communicating with people because we've learned that our way of doing so isn't really socially acceptable, and yes even when we're deep in burnout we still do it, probably even more so actually because when we show our symptoms, especially the very difficult one's such as burnout and meltdowns, we've been shown time and time again that people don't really react too well to it. Masking is a bit of a defense mechanism, avoid doing the things that cause negative reactions as much as possible even to our own detriment because for some reason just about everything we do causes a negative reaction no matter if we have good intentions or are acting the way we've been made to assume we're supposed to, and honestly it really fucking hurts... So yeah, I don't really appreciate people saying that he might be autistic or has autistic burnout either because to me he just seems to not really care about how he's being perceived, he's not trying to hide his lack of interest or possible exhaustion (even though he'd only have himself to blame for that because of spending all his free time going on Raya dates and being papped) and people making excuses for it is starting to get really fucking old.

Thank you for sharing this nonny 🫶🏾

[eirone-and-cheese]

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786649811074138112/i-think-he-can-bullshit-his-way-through-cooking-a

Omg I need more of this story! It is sweet, but it gives such awkward young adult energy. This is the boys-will-be-boys wingman action I want in the world. 😂😂😂

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

“While I understand the PR perspective, I do believe that they had a real “whatevership” and the PR was just added to make it official.”

I’m with you, anon. I don’t think it was a serious relationship. I think they had something casual, like he always had with other women. But since they were both famous, they sometimes used it for PR to stay relevant in the media.

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

"Wasn’t there an anon on here who said they worked for a hairdresser who has celebrity ties and that there was already sightings of Doja and Joseph together at jazz clubs before making it public? Why bother with each other for a month and going out on dates if it’s purely business?"

"There was even an anon on Pande’s blog who claims their friend may have saw the two making out in LA."

///

Except none of that was ever confirmed, it was all just speculation. The nonny who worked for a hairdresser said that, but we don't even know if the hairdresser themselves saw anything. They just said "there had been sightings", which is really vague. It could've been different people, it could've been just gossip. If they had actually spent that time together before the pap walk, they would've made sure to be photographed together. If I recall correctly, nobody in her fandom commented about that. So it was, as far as we know, something that only circulated in here. And she, of all people, had no reason to hide it. She was the only one who could actually benefit from it.

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786662170676068352/there-are-an-infinite-number-of-reasons-why-he?source=share

eh, i highly doubt that Joe would risk money and breaking a contract by hopping back on Raya of all things. i think it's more likely that if there was a contract it had simply run its course and DC didn't expect it to be public so quickly.

what you're saying nonnie is technically possible, just unlikely imo.

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

All I can say is that in the dozens of celebrity interviews and podcasts I consume in a week’s worth of time, one thing really stood out to me: it’s been mentioned several times that powerful companies like Marvel can have things like this in their contracts: if you essentially misrepresent their business, they can cancel your ass so fast you won’t even be able to read a damn comic book again let alone work the industry (hyperbolic, I assume. But who knows?).

And it makes sense. Disney is a corporate superpower with an image to uphold. If Joey here doesn’t get his head out of his butt and quit acting up, he can and will get blackballed out of Marvel. This is a company famous for chopping off an arm to save the body, and nine times out of ten when someone is blackballed from a corporate superpower, nobody of significance will touch them again.

Hope he got an advance on his next few movies, or that he’s invested in something that will keep the cash flowing for the inevitable future burn out. Otherwise if Disney doesn’t want him, his career is essentially done.

Wow

[eirone-and-cheese]

There are an infinite number of reasons why he looks so fucking miserable and excuses can be made til everyone's blue in the face and yeah maybe he is having THE BEST time and just can't express it.... problem is, the audience isn't in his head, so we're just looking at a man who looks like he's counting down the seconds until this interview is over and he can finally chomp down on the cyanide tucked into his girdle and end it all. People who don't know who he is aren't going to feel bad for him or say oh maybe he's autistic 🙄 they're going to think who the FUCK shit in this man's cheerios and why did the interviewer pull him away from his best friend's funeral to answer some questions about a dumb movie he clearly hates. I am like physically uncomfortable watching interviews with him now. I'm cringing before they even get to him. He's even bringing Pedro's sparkle down and I didn't even think that was possible.

Not the cyanide tucked into his girdle 👀 😂😂😂

[eirone-and-cheese]

We really need to stop with this autistic excuse. So many fans trying to use that as a justification and coming from someone who has autism, it is quite offensive. You can be autistic and not look and act like a dick. He’s not autistic he’s narcissistic. There’s burnout and then there’s him. Does he get regular burnout? Sure he does. But that doesn’t mean he’s autistic. Please for the love of god stop using autism as an excuse people in his fandom have tried diagnosing him since the start of the Eddie craze and it’s so fucking tiring

From anon

[eirone-and-cheese]

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786635626709696512/httpswwwtumblrcomthelovelymissck786634203159?source=share

I'm fucking dying--y'all weren't kidding about his sourpuss--he looks like a grumpy stormcloud! 🤣🤣🤣

dude, who tf spat in your coffee that morning?

(honestly, I don't know which option would've been worse: this one, or the timeline where he was full of energy, and we had to hear that weird-ass fucking cackle he does)

The cackle showed us he was alive

[eirone-and-cheese]

I have a theory that he'll mellow out once his casting opportunities--like his skin--dry up. Marvel will give him a steady paycheck for a few years but it's not the Oscar-bait he thought Warfare would be. In 20 years, he'll actually be a decent dude.

Maybe I'll hop back on the JQ bandwagon once he stops behaving like a toddler. In the meantime, I'll be laughing at him from afar.

#JusticeforMawMaw

ONCE HIS CASTING OPPORTUNITIES-LIKE HIS SKIN DRY UP!!!!!!!

This wins the night! I didn't even read the rest! 😂

[eirone-and-cheese]

https://www.tumblr.com/thelovelymissck/786651705186074624/ps-maybe-maybe-something-really-happened-in

Not to go all House MD but he is showing signs of autistic burnout to me. My stepson would have that face when he’d shut down and it took me a long time to realize what was happening.

He could also be having a good time and still have that blank face.

(I am fully prepared to get dragged for this.)

Okie dokie nonny 🫣