ekaursahi

[ekaursahi]

Why are you single

I literally don’t leave my house and I don’t talk either

[ekaursahi]

When you feel sad after you’ve sinned or done wrong, be happy because your heart is not dead. It’s a gift from the Almighty to be able to tell right from wrong. Beware the dead heart that is numb; it keeps sinning repeatedly and doesn’t feel an iota of guilt!

[ekaursahi]

When you feel sad after you’ve sinned or done wrong, be happy because your heart is not dead. It’s a gift from the Almighty to be able to tell right from wrong. Beware the dead heart that is numb; it keeps sinning repeatedly and doesn’t feel an iota of guilt!

[ekaursahi]

I think I'll stop for a while, go back to the old one. Because the sadness prevails and I don't know if this is the momentary relief I'm looking for.

[ekaursahi]

It's starting again. That feeling. Like it's the beginning of another downward spiral. Please. Ya Allah, give me strength to see this through. Ya Allah, help me see the truth in every situation. Ya Allah, please take care of me.

[ekaursahi]

Departing by train feels especially sad. The entire process is just too symbolic. How you wait on the station, trains passing you by, waiting for yours. How once the train arrives, there’s a hurried, mechanical goodbye at first. You put your things in, and get in yourself - the concerning part now over. Then when you stand at your coach’s door, waiting again, few words are exchanged, some smiles, some tears. You hear the whistle and the train slowly starts moving. You stand at the door waving goodbye. Your family at the platform, walking for a bit, trying to keep up, waving constantly. There are looks exchanged in those moments, those unsaid words deeper than all conversations in the months gone by. But you’re gathering speed now and they can’t keep up anymore.

It’s too late. You’ve literally left them behind.

It’s just too sad.

[ekaursahi]

I feel like departing by train is sadder than an airplane. The whole 'train slows leaves platform and everyone waves goodbye' thing - it's just too symbolic.

[ekaursahi]

I thought I'd be less depressed this time around. But no, still very much depressed. Masha Allah.

[ekaursahi]

Why am I avoiding this part? Why am I procrastinating? What is it that I fear? I know I can do this. I had figured this out. Justified the entire ordeal in my head. Then why the reluctance now? It blows my mind how little we know our own selves, let alone others. And we still have the audacity to judge people, to define them within our limited worldviews. How often are we fully and completely set on working through a task, only to fail miserably? How fickle is the human mind, how much does our hearts waver. How unseemly our worldly endeavours, how insignificant our worries really are. Can we find it in ourselves, an undeterred resolve to the the best we can. To be the person we know we can be, whose glimpses we've felt, the highs we've witnessed. Can we rise up from our lows each time, despite the monotony, despite that feeling of dread that unfailingly returns? Because there is no end to our miseries, there can't be. All the world's a test. We know that now. But can we find peace within our miseries, peace within our elations - a neutral ground where we know to be fair, to be just, to be kind, and to always remember to be grateful.

[ekaursahi]

Thank god for bubbles that burst. I hate this place. Masha Allah. I'm soooooo glad this is ending. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

[ekaursahi]

Me to myself: Please stop being a creep.

[ekaursahi]

Wow. Turns out I know someone famous. Who would've thought.

[ekaursahi]

I’m no longer on bad terms w/ anyone. I’m declaring it. Dislike me by yourself. I wish you the best.

[ekaursahi]

Your imaan will fluctuate, come what may. You will falter. And you can't beat yourself up for that. What's important is that you get back up.

[ekaursahi]

Hii. How can I increase my iman? I want to find a genuine interest in becoming a better Muslim.

Be better to people. Be more patient with people. Give people the benefit of the doubt when you don’t want to. Soften your heart, so that you can welcome God into your heart. Through the service of others, you will find the softness.

[ekaursahi]

This Ramadan was different. It wasn’t strong on ibadah, but my heart has taken a new turn, towards stronger iman, towards kindness, towards complete trust in Allah and towards forgiveness. Alhamdulillah. I pray this continues. Ameen.

[ekaursahi]

Please, keep up the bond you had with Allah even after Ramadan has ended. Don’t slack now and fall into laziness. What you’ve done of worship in the blessed month, that’s what you’re capable of doing every day - for the pursuit of your own happiness.