ekekdksksk-blog - Tumblr blog

[ekekdksksk-blog]

Ugh

I totally binged yesterday. I feel bad about it. Really bad about it. Gladly the coming week is gonna be normal except the weekend when I have to attend my friends mom’s wedding. I’m afraid I’ll eat too much there but there’s gonna be lot more unknown people so I know I will be shy to eat. I hope I won’t eat at all but I don’t know.

I haven’t decided if I’m gonna fast tomorrow or not but I’ll think about it. If not tomorrow then Wednesday. Because I can’t fast when I have to go to school. But my friend is sick so she won’t come over and that means I don’t have to eat. And cuz I’m alone I’m able to eat small meals without anyone questioning me.

I hate being fat. I want to be skinny and pretty

[ekekdksksk-blog]

Too much is too much

I broke my fast this morning with 3 rice cakes and two slices of a cucumber. It felt too much and not enough at the same time. I know it’s not much but I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s gonna be at the party. I hope I won’t eat too much.

So I’m still under 100cals. I know I’ll eat more than that today and that makes me anxious. Every time I’m doing great with not eating too much there comes some thing that forces me to eat more. Kinda annoying.

Want to be skinny!!!!

[ekekdksksk-blog]

Back

So because I can’t share my feelings, thoughts or thinspos on instagram I’ve decided to get used to use tumblr.

I’m proud of myself. This day was successful. Last time I ate was Thursday at 4pm, so I’ve been fasting for more than 24h. I’m about to eat tomorrow morning something small. But today my boyfriend came over and brought food with him but I said no. I’m very bad at saying no to anyone and today I did it. Also I had a long walk. I feel good about being hungry.

Tomorrow I’m attending my friend’s birthday party and there’s gonna be cake. I hope I manage to avoid eating it but I’m afraid. I have to stay strong because I want to be skinny so badly.

[ekekdksksk-blog]

Hey!!

So.... this is not my first time being here. I like instagram more but my thinspoaccount got deleted like fourth time within a month.

I want to make it clear, what I am doing. This is my for personal motivation and I need to share my calorie intake and everything like that. 

I know there’s plenty of you who’s doing the same as I am. 

I’ve been struggling with ed for more than two years. I don’t feel like it’s a problem, it’s more like the way I wanna live. Yeah, sometimes I get very anxious for no reason, and that’s a problem but I think that there’s nothing bad in the way I want to eat. And it’s completely unfair that my friends don’t let me do what I want. I need someone to talk with about these things.