elablackcat

[elablackcat]

I have questions, but also nice meme.

[elablackcat]

A good time being had (mostly with feelings) featuring the Silmarillion and self baked lembas. (And one ring to rule them all)

[elablackcat]

That might just be a Hobbit yes. You should eat more for that tho.

I'm extremely numb and demotivated right now, so i went to the aesthetic generator, and the first thing i got was "meadow gremlin"

and I think that's just a hobbit?

[elablackcat]

Things the Fellowship has argued about

What name to call Aragorn

What name to call Gandalf

What to call their meals. Boromir thinks, if it is eaten at dinnertime, regardless of whether it is the first meal of the day or not, then it is dinner. Sam thinks it isn't proper to call the first meal of the day dinner. Aragorn suggests they combine the two words but now everyone is fighting over whether it should be called breakfast-dinnner or dinner-breakfast. The fight nearly becomes physical

Whether Legolas or Gimli is winning their daily argument with eachother

If hobbits are regular sized and everyone else is really big, or if everyone else is regular sized and hobbits are small

The same as above except with horses and ponies

If Gimli's beard is real or not. This one started as a joke between Merry and Pippin but then Legolas saw how mad it made Gimli and so continues to bring it up

Inter-hobbit fighting about whether it is called pot-ae-toes, pot-ah-toes, or taters

"Can Legolas really talk to trees, or is he just fucking with us?" Aragorn and Gandalf refuse to weigh in on this

Whether the Ent-draught caused Merry and Pippin to grow or if they just did that on their own. This fight is Pippin vs. Everyone Else

Whether the non-hobbits of the Fellowship would be Tooks, Brandybucks, or Bagginses. This argument is unintelligible to most of them, although Gandalf has the knowledge to be offended when Pippin suggests he would be a Took.

"What would happen if someone ate the ring?"

Fights over whether the elves, the dwarves, or the hobbits tell the story of the reclaiming of Erebor most accurately. Even though Gandalf was there, he just shrugs when anyone asks him

Which variety of pipeweed is the best kind. Merry threatened Gimli to a duel over this one

Who gets next watch

[elablackcat]

This may be the funniest take ever but it's accurate

[elablackcat]

The thing is they absolutely would.

Huevember Day 3.

They are definitely allowed to take that flower...

[elablackcat]

Mairon and Melkor both have a fondness for shiny things. Mairon likes to have all the shiny things to wear to make himself the shiniest thing in the room so that all can see his greatness manifest. Melkor likes to have all the shiny things to look at and admire, to own so he can prove that he is the most powerful being of all. Which works out for Mairon because he likes it when Melkor stares at his perfect, shiny body. Being admired by the most powerful being in Arda, in his mind, shows just how great Mairon himself is.

[elablackcat]

Love is… when he draws only for you ^^ / BOOM suddenly ginger Mairon /

[elablackcat]

just in case you all weren’t aware

the only outcome of the dagor dagorath i will accept is melkor and mairon reaching a truce with the valar and negotiating to resettle on an isolated corner of middle earth, a big tropical island with a huge volcano that melkor can be king of and make explode when he wants. they live the good life sipping strawberry daquiris and making love on the beach, finally having some peace and quiet and never having to see another man, elf, or hobbit ever again. 

[elablackcat]

Melkor: Let me tell you about Mairon.

Mairon: I'm Mairon. Are you drunk?

Melkor: Mairon is perfect. Mairon is beautiful. Mairon is everything.

Mairon: ...go on.

Melkor: Let me tell you about his perfect golden hair. Every strand is like finely spun gold. Every inch of his body is perfect. And his ass. Oh his ass. I could talk forever about his amazing ass. I like his ass. And his ass likes me.

Mairon: You should be drunk more often. I like you drunk.

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Melkor: Mairon, do you trust me?

Mairon: With my life or with my dignity? Because those are different things and I only trust you with the first.

[elablackcat]

I have yet to stop laughing like a maniac on the train ... Why are all these people looking at me weird ??

Embarrassing Tolkien Typos

Slimarillion– a Noldo’s guide to trimming down after the holidays

Maehrdos– we just don’t know

Angbang– OKAY NO I ACTUALLY MEANT THE FORTRESS THIS TIME

Slimearil– can’t hold on to them for nothin’

Ole– the fiesta elf 

Meagli– son of Ole, adopted by jungle creatures 

Magline– same character, this time living in paris with twelve little girls in two straight lines

Fignolfin– a type of depressing cookie found exclusively in your parents’ kitchen because they’re “healthy”

Aluë– know to the dwarves as “fucking hell I have to type that umlaut again”

Meklor– a durable, non-stick surface 

[elablackcat]

In which Valar swing at each other and Mairon regrets alcohol

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11]

[elablackcat]

Gabriel: Aziraphale, why are you holding Crowley’s hand?

Aziraphale: holding hands relive stress and provide comfort

Gabriel: oh, i thought you guys were dating or something

Aziraphale: We are; i just thought it was obvious at this point

[elablackcat]

Newt, after saying ‘you too’ when the waitress says to enjoy his meal: I need to step outside for some time, and i will not be back... for many days...

[elablackcat]

I just started supernatural but I'm already obsessed ...

The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Supernatural:

1.  This is Dean.  

He hunts monsters.

He’s completely straight. 

And always extremely manly.

And also very dominant. 

2.  This is Sam.

He’s Dean’s brother/monster hunting partner.  They’re both very mature together.

He’s completely normal.  Never soulless or possessed or anything.

No emotional scarring or psychological trauma going on here.  Nope.

3.  This is Castiel.  

He’s an angel of the lord. 

As such, he’s obviously very intimidating.  

Very mighty.  

All fear this terrifying, fell creature. 

4.  There is absolutely no homoerotic sexual tension in Supernatural. 

5.  Its villains are mostly demons and other unholy creatures, so of course, no one likes them.

Except for this guy.  Everyone LOVES him.  

6.  Its fans are very calm, sane, rational people who are completely accepting of opinions that differ from their own. 

7.  And of course, you will absolutely be able to maintain your sanity after watching it!

You will NOT be plunged into an existential depression over the well-being of fictional characters. 

And when you’ve run out of episodes to watch, you’ll totally be able to return to reality, no questions asked!  

[elablackcat]

1. I LOVE YOU JACE (insert last name here)

2. Stop doing this @albusgellertalways (and everyone else) I can't ship Grindledore and Clace in peace if you permanently do this

Happy birthday Jace Herondale ➰💙