elavish

[elavish]

humans thrive on promise and possibility. the perfect conditions for demons to make their roost. and so perfect conditions exist for patrons of the underworld to run wildly and irregretably on all expanses of land inhabited by those who dream, from wherever shores show love to ocean to all sides of its body.

crunchy bugs for dinner the past 7 nights. big and red and orange and blue and brittle. raw, you can feel their hearts beating as they slide down your gullet. sometime tomorrow I will force a worm into my mouth. and then shut my lips around it, as it wrestles my tongue. trapped against the roof of my mouth, it will have no choice but to squirm. slide down my esophagus. I wonder how long it will take the worm to stop motion completely, on its journey to digestion. its complexion I want to digest. its 5 hearts. and I predict I will be starving.

the dense thicket which has become my interpretation of the entire forest blends path, foliage, and snake into a textured current of green. my feet no longer endure moments in which they have the privilege of missing a step.

niqab drenched. sweat,, blood, and seawater from the most rancid corners of the coastline. legs straining against mud and reeds, brackish water clothing. me as I trudged deeper into the banks. footsteps banging the paths behind me like militant drum patterns. tall trees concealed any possible byways of identification. I slipped under the surface without a stir of thee waters body, trapped under the membrane separating sea from sky. I felt as though I had accepted a role inside of a new cell, a lonely self-serving asexual organelle, swallowed by a starving reproductive amoeba. the single breath in my lungs hardening against the bronchioles which they once revived, weighing my existence as a living being, yet betraying my concealment by adding bouyancy to my body. a bird in flight I resembled, struggling gracefully under the sour simmering night and further, below the smooth and swallowing surface. my hands finessed curvatures not causing a single ripple. my legs reached downward, in hopes to anchor me to the sinewy depths of the waters bowels. how long. no air. no sight. no flight. evading fight. just stillness.

the loss of feeling was my only informant in the state off my affair called life. atom by atom, the sensation of work being donee by the muscles, communications past of committed cells, the synapse combustion as I processed the achievement of my only goal- to forget. to forge a forceful path out of this land of the living. my legs completely numb. to look down my only affirmation of movement. the nothing Id so longed for. and then a furrow of my brow as Id finally grasped the fleeting understanding of my true predicament. there was no escape, as my vision reminded me. for now, I could feel nothing. that cold, expanse of absolutely nothing, I could FEEL it. no longer was I drenched and tired and wading against currents, I was cold, and motionless, sightless, yet still cognizant of eternitys sickest and most sinister punishment, reserved for those who took up mental residence in the world of should. who recklessly waltzed through the precious matrimony of life and matter, with their heads on swivels. allowing for abandon to degrade the brain with fear. those samurais converted to ninja out of sheer boredom, gluttonous for a worldly story trailing behind them like the slime of a snail, never able to forget or forgo honor in any midst. depressed into a coma of stillness neither sacrificial Or meditative. the nothing that one must poison themselves to attain. ive heard, ive seen, ive tasted, and lastly, I feel.

[elavish]

actually tho. good media change everything(American proverb)

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frankdorrey 2021

[elavish]

I need

to get ate like a steak

no haram

drain my blood first

the liquid life that fights against u as u sight your first bite

I. need love

u need. the blood

eat me!!!!!

[elavish]

if these plantains become dark

im still gonna eat them

if the night becomes dark

im still gonna see him

if the arts become dark

ima still paint!

if the lights all that's in sight

I guess ima taint

[elavish]

elisha is

focused on herself

[elavish]

polyamory

who ca control loves flux?

some niggas want to reign

[elavish]

You're obsessed with the rotting bloated corpse.

how embarrassing for you

well, go on, colonize it.

you and your brothers are hungry are you not?

[elavish]

toss the excess

me

projector

bathtub

and double burner

wahallah be. damned

I be blessed to death!!!!

called quest or theft

conquest their breath cause I am thirsty for that drink called oxygen

The Los Angeles House: Decoration and Design in America's 20th-Century City, 1995

[elavish]

SELF VALIDATION

First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness. 

E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself. 

VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth. 

SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test. 

BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily. 

BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.

STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.

SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.

DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor. 

KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority. 

OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day. 

BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret. 

[elavish]

I was gonna share a poem but I been too irresponsible with my spell casting lately.

light and love siblings. pray and charge

[elavish]