eldritchanchovy

[eldritchanchovy]

"gambling addiction" is kind of like if people regularly opened pits with spikes at the bottom in public areas and made lots of money from people falling into the pit and so they started greasing the edges and putting these pits in every public space and lobbying to be allowed to install them in people's homes and when someone fell into the greased spike pit in their house they said "oh thats so tragic, they had an addiction to deadly spikes, we obviously support everyone having a safe and healthy responsible relationship with the greased spike pits we're building"

[eldritchanchovy]

I legit suspect that a lot of harm indirectly stems from us using “1%” figuratively to mean “a negligible amount”

"this thing is rare and only affects 1% of the population" dude that's 80 million people can you shut up

[eldritchanchovy]

And they should put fucking *buttons* on the TV, so I’m not forced to keep track of the remote just to change the input source or adjust the volume

still mad about smart TVs. that shit should be in a separate box like you can literally buy one of them androidtv boxes for £30. it doesn't need its own ip address it doesn't need its own app store it doesn't need to replicate the functionality every device plugged into it already has

[eldritchanchovy]

It's crazy that like 15% of people will say like, the government has genetically manipulated mole people they sacrifice for blood magic. But this doesn't seem to affect their worldview at all.

[eldritchanchovy]

shortly after I got my first iphone, it kept trying to correct “fucking” to “ducking”, so I got into a vicious fight with the autocorrect engine, ultimately achieving a detente where it decided the word “Fucking” was a proper noun

Are you ever typing something that your phone autocapitalizes and you go back and re-type it just to force uncapitalize it. Like no sorry mcdonalds doesn’t deserve that level of respect from me

[eldritchanchovy]

the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.

[eldritchanchovy]

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

[eldritchanchovy]

The cast of the Original Trilogy had cliched, boring character concepts that were executed wonderfully enough for it not to matter. 

 The cast of the Prequel Trilogy had interesting concepts that were executed poorly enough to make them seem utterly stupid. 

The cast of the Sequel Trilogy had amazing, thought-provoking concepts that were executed in the town square and put up on pikes as a warning to others.

[eldritchanchovy]

again while we're on the topic:

it always bears repeating to everyone who will listen that several years ago when i unfortunately caught covid from a roommate, i had mild cold symptoms for several days and was not allowed to take off work without a positive covid test.

i used a rapid test every day for five days. i tested positive on the fifth test on the fifth day of symptoms. i was contagious that entire time.

none of my coworkers wore masks, but i wore a well-fitted N95 every day. i protected them, and none of them got sick. i wish that the same care and courtesy were extended to me, as the immunodeficient member of their team, but i was glad, regardless, that the spread stopped with me (barring asymptomatic infections, which is always a possibility).

i tell a lot of stories about the times i've narrowly escaped covid after high-risk exposures, protected by my mask, but here's an example of my masking protecting others.

masking is community support. masking is mutual aid. masking is disability allyship. masking is class consciousness.

[eldritchanchovy]

this little freak keeps sneaking into my garden and rubbing himself all over my flowers??Hello?????

[eldritchanchovy]

Last year I spent a month working 50% time (4 hour days, 5 days a week) instead of full time because I had to take care of some Major Life Shit

In that month of 50% time I accomplished probably 70% of what I would have accomplished in a regular full-time month. And that’s *with* the aforementioned Major Life Shit consuming most of my non-work time

Because of course people can’t actually work at full speed/efficiency for 8 hours a day

It's really important when you're at work to go out there and really give it your 60%. Maybe 35%.

[eldritchanchovy]

NGL I think it’s hilarious how angry Europeans (and specifically Italians) get when Italian Americans call themselves Italian. A guy can be 100% ethnically Italian, have an Italian name, speak the language, uphold Italian cultural practices and they’ll argue with him if he calls himself Italian. And it’s kind of the opposite of how Irish people treat Irish Americans. They’re like “JFK was one of us. Obama? Also one of us.”

[eldritchanchovy]

I do unfortunately think some people on the internet need to learn that my body my choice also extends to the choices you don't agree with like having a child, weight loss medication, modesty clothing, etc. if I doesn't affect you than it's none of your business

[eldritchanchovy]

Isn’t the entire fucking point of school Chromebooks that they can be centrally locked down?

or, in other words: if the middle schooler *can* install Linux on it, that sure sounds like the middle schooler is *allowed* to install Linux on it

[eldritchanchovy]

do it drunk. do it high

[eldritchanchovy]

i think it should be illegal to not have paper menus. and it should be illegal to only accept digital payments and not accept cash

generally making anything accessible only with a phone sould be illegal. like genuinely regulated by the govt and forbidden. IMO

[eldritchanchovy]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake