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elfilicellus · 2 years ago

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COMING BACK TO MY 2HA ERA AND IM REREADING THIS AND IM CRYING BC U REMEMBER WHY I LOVED THEM SM

[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot

I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.

Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !

Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.

Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.

1. I used to like you a lot

At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.

2. I gave you a new title

Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.

3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems

On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:

“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **

*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem

These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.

4. You are all I have left

In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:

“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.

This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.

Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed

5. Are you still mad?

This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.

6. I did not think you would really leave me.

On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:

“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.

Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?

Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.

The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:

“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”

So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me ＼(￣▽￣)／

Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.

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elfilicellus · 2 years ago

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Rereading this is enough to make me cry i miss them so much

I! LOVE! TAXIAN-JUN!!!!!!!!!!

(taxian-jun==leng gong, xue meng is having adventures with fantasy blind dating)

“You’re from the Lin'an area, so you don’t eat spicy food, right?”

“Who says I don’t eat it?” Leng Gong said, “I love spicy food.”

After saying that she grabbed her chopsticks and, without changing her expression, stuffed food into her mouth. “So good! It’s been a long time since I’ve had something so good.”

“If you like it, why don’t you eat more?” asked Xue Meng.

Leng Gong said simply: “Because my lover can’t handle it.”

“Ah? So if he can’t handle it, then he won’t let you enjoy it either?”

“That’s not it.” Leng Gong rubbed her chin, and for some reason her eyes got misty. “Actually, sometimes the more he can’t handle it, the happier I am. I really like the way he gets when he can’t take it anymore, especially since he’s normally so aloof and self restrained, but I always get him to lose it in the end. And when he loses his mind, he’ll start moaning and wrapping himself around me with want, and then I…”

Xue Meng didn’t understand. But Leng Gong’s face looked very happy.

Leng Gong suddenly realized how distracted she was, and snapped back from her gentle reveries. “Anyway, it really was because of him that I haven’t touched spicy food for a while.”

This sentence he could understand.

Spice enthusiast Xue Meng became very indignant: “Outrageous! Bring us a Mandarin duck pot!”

I love literally every thing about him

Nevertheless, Leng Gong kept going: “He’s not very good in bed, so I’m the only one who doesn’t avoid him. And since I’m very good in bed, he’s gradually getting a taste for bodily pleasure. So even though his mouth says no, he still does it with me fiercely three or four times a night, sometimes even seven or eight times. On the bed, in the courtyard, in the reception pavilion, in the hot spring, we’ve done it in all those…”

“Stop!” Xue Meng finally recovered from his cough, his ears smoking. Cleaning off the water he’d coughed up while blushing, he said: “You don’t have to describe those details so clearly. All I really needed to know was that your marital life was harmonious.”

“Right. Our marital life was very harmonious, and every night we did it three or four, sometimes even seven or eight times. A normal person couldn't manage it, but I could, and we did it on the bed, in the courtyard, in the reception pavilion, in the hot spring, we’ve done it in all those…”

I love how impossibly, completely unfiltered he is, and also, his…….. questionable taste in men (especially after reading yuwu and meeting prior generations of jiangs, this is extra hilarious to me)

Other people thought it was impossible, but my fate is up to me, and not the heavens, and especially not other people. I wanted a baby with him, whether he could have one or not. So I went to Jiang Yechen to discuss how we could do it, but that little beauty Jiang was horribly stubborn and said that it was bad for the body and refused to give it to me, like he knows right from wrong!“

Xue Meng: ”……“

Jiang Xi not knowing right from wrong is true, but since when was he beautiful??? How did you connect the words “little beauty Jiang” to him??

Just LOOK at this absolutely hopeless disaster of a man

Xue Meng said: “Let’s talk about your lover then. Since you can’t bear to part with him, why didn’t you chase after him?”

“I can’t bear to part with him?” Leng Gong sniffed. “What a joke, I don’t cherish him at all.”

“……”

After a while, looking sideways at Xue Meng, she reluctantly said: “Sigh. How could you tell that I couldn’t bear to let him go?”

How am i NOT supposed to adore him???

At long last she said, stiffly: “… I don’t really know how to read, and I’m uncultured. I single-mindedly studied for ten years, but I still couldn’t compare to someone who just read while wandering around for five. All I have is money and physical strength. If he doesn’t like it, what can I do?”

Xue Meng suddenly felt she was very much like a wolf dog who had been abandoned by her master and left in the rain, who felt so aggrieved that she wanted to die, but still needed to sit straight and upright and pretend that he didn’t care.

HE’S AN ABSOLUTE DISASTER IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY, AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM

“Today, you made this venerable one bleed, something this venerable one will remember deep in his heart. You’ll suffer for this, you’ll…”

Chu Wanning held Tian Wen in his palm, and once again it hissed as sparks flew everywhere. He narrowed his eyes: “Are you finished yet? Do I need to do this a second time?”

Taxian-jun raged, agitated: “Chu Wanning! Don’t rely on this venerable one to indulge you anymore, I’ve spoiled you rotten! If you dare to use Tian Wen a second time, this venerable one will— will—”

His phoenix eyes narrowing dangerously, Chu Wanning let out an “oh” sound, and said: “You’ll do what?”

Taxian-jun slapped the table: “This venerable one will give you two to hold in three years!”

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