eliseloveuniverse-blog

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 12

From that day forward, Blaze never went back to Benji's, only for his belongings. It made me happy as he hummed away, hanging up all his clothes in one side of my wardrobe, something he's not been able to do for months. I still couldn’t get around the whirlwind few months that’s flown by. For the first time in a long time I was enjoying life. I had a nice place to live, a beautiful daughter and this guy who thought the world of me. I was counting my blessings. I never thought for one second that I could be this lucky.

But the time had some where I had to start sending my CV out to hiring companies in the city. Just lately I’d been living in this bubble and all the while my savings were slipping through my fingers like sand. I suggested Blaze done the same. I updated my CV a little, giving it a new lease of life and sent it off to a few companies who were hiring nearby.

Today, Blaze and I set off on a little journey. I reluctantly paid for a babysitter to take care of Willow whilst we were out. Blaze was taking me to his home town of Windenburg to meet his parents. I told him it was too soon but he wouldn’t take no for an answer and told me that his mum was excited to meet me. We got a taxi from the train station which took us right outside to his parents’ house. Looking up, the house looked old but well looked after. It sat on a large bit of land, surrounded by a sea of colourful flowers. He tapped on the door before letting himself in. “Hello mam!” He called out. I followed him inside feeling like a little lost sheep. Inside it was huge! You could fit my apartment in here ten times over! “Hello Blaze, come in, come in” a voice called out. Walking out of the kitchen was a grey-haired lady who looked exactly like Blaze. She had the same dark eyes and smile as him. “And you must be Anna…” She said softly, taking my hand. “I’ve heard so much about you. Please come in and sit down.”

We sat together in front of the tv and I sat quietly as Blaze and his mum caught up with each other. “Bob! Where’s that tea!?” She called out. With that an elderly man appeared from the kitchen with a tray of cups and biscuits. “Nice to meet you Anna. I’m Bob.”

I told Bob and Lorena about my life and about Willow, although I didn’t go into much detail about her conception. “I’ve been waiting a long time for another grandchild, haven’t I Bob.” Lorena said. My daughter Kerry lives with us here with her little girl Zara. They’ll be joining us for dinner. I’ve kept on to Blaze about finding a nice young woman to settle down with and have a few kids of his own…” “Mum stop it, you’ll scare her away” “I’m just telling it how it is son. I’m so happy to welcome another child into our family.”

A little while later I helped Blaze lay the table for dinner. We were joined by his sister Kerry and little Zara. Kerry was beautiful. She had long golden locks and those same dark eyes. We all gathered around the table and began eating Lorena’s home cooked mac n’ cheese. “So when are you planning to move back here son? You’re not going to be living in the city forever are you?” Bob asked. “I’m not sure dad. I’m pretty settled where I am. Plus Willow will be starting school soon.” “And what about you Anna? Do you not fancy living in the suburbs?” “It’s always been my dream to. I lived in Willow Creek when I was little. My parents had a lovely garden and I remember spending so much time out there as a kid. We don’t even have a balcony where we live.”

Just as we were leaving, Zara made an appearance. She was shy but she said hello, hiding behind Kerry’s legs. “Looks can be deceiving with this one! She can talk the hind legs off a donkey” She laughed.

With that, it was time for the goodbyes. “Thank you so much for the lovely dinner. It’s be so nice to meet you…” I said, giving Lorena a hug. “Anytime my dear. You’re more than welcome here anytime. Make sure you bring Willow along with you next time. Her and Zara will be able to play together.” “Next time, you’ll have to come to us for dinner!”

No doubt I’ll regret saying that...

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 11

Sure enough, Blaze was round the following week. I kindly offered to wash and dry his clothes for him and he gave me some money to get some extra food in so he could eat and not worry about getting food poisoning from Benji's yucky apartment. It was nice having him around, even if it was for a few hours each week. I introduced him to Willow. He took to her instantly. It warmed my heart but I also felt so sad. I sometimes wish that Luke had stuck around for her sake.

"Oh Anna, look at you, you look terrible!" Blaze said shocked as I opened the front door to him. It was true, I looked like crap. I'd been hit by some flu virus and I was suffering. "I'll be ok..." I grumbled. "I won't hear nothing of it! I've known you long enough now to know when you're not alright." He went back into his apartment and came back clutching a bottle of medicine. "Take two spoonfuls of this and go get in bed. I'll stay here and look after Willow, you need some rest!" He ordered.

Tears stung my eyes and tumbled down my cheeks. I felt awful and this lovely man was here to look after me. I just couldn't control my emotions. "Hey, no tears now. I'm here..." Blaze soothed, pulling me in for a cuddle. I went to bed and slept. I slept for hours. I woke up with a jolt and panicked. What time was it? How long had I been asleep for?! Oh god, I bet he's angry! I rushed into the living room where I found him sound asleep on the sofa clutching the baby monitor. A rush of warmth came over me. Maybe it was because I was ill. Or maybe I was just falling in love?

The next day I asked him round for some dinner to say thank you for being so kind to me. I cooked him up a hearty meal and we sat down together to eat. "You don't have to do all this for me." "Yes I do. Nobody else has stepped up like that for me before. You've been great and I cannot thank you enough for that" "It should be me doing all this for you! You're the one who's let me into your home". He reached over the table, his hand touching my hand. I stopped eating, my heart beating out of my chest...what was he doing?!

"I really like you..." He really likes me? How? In what context? Was there a 'but' coming afterwards? I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He smiled, looking slightly confused. "What's up? You don't feel the same way?" "Yes, yes of course I do. I'm just a little shocked..." "Why?" "Because I thought you were going to continue with 'but not in that sort of way...' Silly right?" "You're not silly. I think you're amazing. And I want to show you off to everybody I know!"

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 10

Why can't babies come with instruction manuals and off buttons? I've been up all night with Willow. She's been fed, changed, burped...you name it, I've done it and she still cries. She cries and I cry. It's a vicious cycle. Why don't people tell you that life doesn't go back to normal when your baby is born? I thought that it would be so easily, and how awfully wrong I was. I've never felt more inclined to go to a bar and get so drunk I don't know who I am. This baby has got me wrapped round her little finger and she knows it.

Anyways, I won't bore you, because I've pretty much done sod all since having Willow. I've been less inclined than ever to get a job, not wanting to leave her with a child minder. She's changing everyday, just last week I heard her laugh properly for the first time!

I also thought it was right that Luke knew that I'd had Willow. I sent him a little text, explaining that she was born and how much she weighed. I didn't expect a reply, which was just as well seeing as I didn't get one!

One afternoon whilst I was sat watching some tv, the door knocked. I opened it and found a man I'd never seen before stood there. I stood there for a second, which seemed like an eternity as I studied every inch of him. Now, I'm not one to really go for the blond haired guys but he was gorgeous! With a capital G!

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm Benji's new room mate and I was wondering whether you'd seen him at all today? Thing is, I've not got a key cut yet, and he's gone out so I can't get back in." Benji was the guy who lived across the hall. Like me, he kept himself to himself but I have been over to his apartment once when he offered me in for a cup of tea, as a thank you for helping him in the lift with a heavy wardrobe, and my god, I wouldn't want to ever step foot in that place again! You could tell the poor guy was living in poverty. The walls were covered in damp and the carpets looked like they'd been there for years. He had two armchairs in front of a tv no bigger than a postage stamp and that was pretty much it.

"No sorry, I haven't. We don't really talk much. Room mate? I thought he only had the one bedroom? Look, come in and have a coffee, don't wait out there." He came inside and sat at the table whilst I poured him some coffee. "He does only have the one bedroom, but he's pretty hard up right now and needs all the money he can get. That's where I come in. Plus I need somewhere to stay." "Don't you have family?" I do, but you know what it's like. Plus I don't fancy living back with my parents. I never caught you name...I'm Blaze."

"It's Anna." I smiled, handing him his coffee and trying to put my tongue back in my mouth. I can't get over how good looking he is. Who am I kidding? He wouldn't look twice at me. He could have anybody he wanted! "I'm just about to make some dinner, do you fancy some?" "Oh...well, if you're offering." He replied.

"Go sit yourself down in front of the tv. There's a game console there too. Make yourself at home. I've just got to go check on my daughter." I left him in the living room whilst I quickly went and checked on Willow, who was sleeping soundly in her cot. I then ran into my bedroom and checked out my face in the mirror, slapped down the little bits of stray hair on my head and made sure there was no baby sick on my clothes.

Once I came back into the living room, Blaze had made himself at home in front of the tv and had switched on the console. This is what it must feel like to have a man about the house I guess. It felt nice...even though I'd only just met him. But I was good at that wasn't I! I had Willow to prove that one! At least I knew his name.

I called him over to the table once dinner was ready. "It's not much, just cheesy bean burrito." "Excellent! My favorite!" "So you have a daughter? What's her name?" "Willow. Do you have any kids?" "No. My sister does. I guess I've not got to that point in my life where I've ever thought about kids." Tell me about it mate!

"I hope you don't mind me saying, but I've been into Benji's apartment before and it's not exactly up to scratch is it." "I know. I really had to think twice before saying yes to living there. My clothes are still in bags as there’s nowhere to put them. And I always eat out because the place is so gross, I don't fancy eating in there..." "Well, don't think this too forward or nothing, but if you ever need a hot bath and something to eat, just tap my door."

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 9

I've kind of let myself go a bit since that run in with Karim. His words really hurt but I know plenty of people who's had kids and still managed to get into new relationships. But throughout the final weeks of this pregnancy, I've stayed away from pretty much everyone. The only times I've been outside my apartment were for groceries and check ups. Plus I've had a lot of decorating to do. I turned my spare room into a nursery for the baby. Seeing as I'm having a girl, I wallpapered the walls pink. Now I wasn't working, money was becoming increasingly tight, so the chest of drawers and cot were second hand.

But on Sunday morning in the early hours I was woken up to pain ripping through my stomach. I looked down and the bed were wet...oh no...my waters had broken. This is it...I'm having a baby!!!

I somehow managed to call myself a taxi, grab my hospital bag and make it to the hospital. Fourteen and a half hours later I gave birth to a perfect baby girl who I named Willow. I brought her home on the Tuesday and settled her into her new room. She seemed to cry more than she slept and I was exhausted. There were times when I looked back at myself living in that horrible apartment. Life was so much simplier back then. But then all I had to do was look at Willow. I couldn't live without her now. All the smelly nappies, sick and sleepless nights are so worth it. And I'm going to make sure I'm going to be a mum she can be proud of.

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 8

I wasn't at all surprised that Luke legged it out the door that day. I think I would have done the same if I were in his shoes. He came round probably thinking he was on a promise, yet he gets asked what his name was and told he's going to be a dad all in the space of two minutes! But I've had to face the fact that I am going to be a single mum. I also decided that my career was over. There were a few women at work who I've watched struggle balancing work and babies. It's not a good mix. They were under so much pressure to meet deadlines at work, knowing full well they had to go home and be a mum to their kids. I didn't want that kind of stress at my door thank you very much. So once I'd been for my scan and told that I was carrying a little girl and that she was happy and healthy, I handed in my notice.

I'm not saying women can't have careers. But with my line of work, you either work with the company or you have kids...there is no in between and there's no room for compromises either!

One afternoon, I decided to get myself some fresh air and some food at one of the stalls. As I sat down and tucked in, someone came and sat beside me. It was Karim. I had completely forgot all about the texts and missed calls he'd left on my phone. I'd been so wrapped up in my own little world, what with the baby, Luke and resigning from work. "So I saw you a few months back with another guy at the festival..." "You were there?! I didn't see you!" "So are you two seeing eachother now?" "Erm no...it's kind of complicated."

"Well you're either with him or not!" Wow, what's his problem?! We went out on one date and now I'm his property or something? "To be honest with you Karim, I didn't think you were all that interested in me. I just thought you wanted to buy me a drink to say thank you for being so kind to you that day. I wanted to see you, but we were both always too busy. So I just decided to go out and see if I could find someone." "I was very grateful. But I did also find you very attractive. I've been wanting to meet up with you for ages, but you never replied so I just sort of gave up. And when I saw you with that bloke, I got my answer didn't I."

"I'm pregnant. It wasn't planned and to be fair if I could turn back the clocks I would. I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way about me." "Congratulations...." He muttered. "Look Karim I'm sorry. But I don't understand why you're so upset about it all." With that, he got up and went to walk off.

"Oi! Don't walk away!" I shouted. "I'm upset because I actually really liked you. That evening we spent together really made my day! You made me feel like I was worth something. I even went out the next day and got myself a job! And I've saved up enough money for my own apartment!" "Well that's great news, I'm happy for you, I really am." I smiled. "And now all hopes of ever making something with you has quickly vanished since you're having someone else's kid!"

"Being pregnant doesn't mean to say I'm off limits Karim..." I said, reaching out to touch his hand. "Get your hands off me! No man will even think to look twice at you now! You're damaged goods!"

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 7

So the pregnancy test wasn't broken. My doctor confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. Doctor Harrow congratulated me, handing me some leaflets and told me to ring some number to book a scan but all I wanted to do was punch him in the face. His smug look annoyed the hell out of me. He knew that confirming the pregnancy would be like a blow to the stomach for me, and I bet he had every pleasure in telling me too! I went home that day and cried. I was utterly frightened by the thought of being pregnant. The mood swings, the sickness, and looking more whale like than I already did. And then there was the birth, oh god the birth! I was birthing partner to my friend many moons ago and believe me, I'm not looking forward to that bit! Was I really able to bring up a baby on my own? Maybe this guy might want to be a dad? Maybe he'll help me out somehow?

I decided to call him and ask him over. He was here within the hour.

"So look. I firstly need to ask you what your name is...because I didn't catch it before". God I sounded so bloody stupid. "It's Luke..." He replied. "Right well Luke, see the thing is...I'm pregnant." His jaw pretty much dropped to the floor.

"What? How?" "Really? You're going to ask me how this happened? We had unprotected sex..." "I know, I know! Oh god...do you want to keep it?!" You know, the thought of a termination had never entered my mind. "Yes of course. I just thought you should know. And I'd like to know whether you want anything to do with it." "This is all so much to take in..." "Tell me about it! I'm the one who has to live with being pregnant!"

"I don't know Anna. I wasn't looking for any type of commitment." "And you think I was? Do you think I wanted this?" "No of course not! I just thought that when I started a family, I'd be married and stuff..." "You and me both, but it's happening! We barely know eachother. I'll understand if you don't want any involvement. I just wanted to do the adult thing and tell you." "I'm sorry...."

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 6

So that night was ok. Yes, just ok. I'd never had a drunken one night stand before and I wasn't in a hurry to do it again. But he'd given me his number and told me to give him a call. I wasn't in no hurry to. Truthfully, I just wanted to see Karim again.

I decided it was time I moved out of my horrible apartment and got myself something a little more up market. It took a couple of weeks but finally I found myself renting a two bedroom apartment which the landlord told me it was in a quiet block. Perfect! No more noisy neighbors! I had enough money to redecorate. When I moved in, the walls and floors were so dark. So I brightened it all up and for the first time in a long time, I was proud of where I lived.

But lately I had been feeling a little under the weather. My boss had been giving me mountains of paperwork to sort through and file and what with running my own department, I honestly thought I was just feeling the pressure of successful life. But then it dawned on me. I was late.

After work that day, I stopped off at the chemist before coming home. I sat and ate my dinner and watched tv in silence before plucking up the courage to even open the box and read the instructions. I've never had to do a pregnancy test in my life! I've never put myself in situations where I could get pregnant (maybe because I didn't have hundreds of men flocking to me when I wanted a bit), but looking back on that drunken night, we hadn't been careful. So I went into the bathroom, done my business and waited for two minutes, as instructed.

Two lines appeared in the little window. I fiddled about with the bit of paper, trying to find out what it meant. No...I can't be pregnant! Surely this thing is broken?!

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 5

So it had been a little over a month since meeting up with Karim. I was snowed under with work whilst he was still out busking for money. I'd offered to help him out but he always declined. He was full of pride and didn't want it dented. Nevertheless, the calls and texts to him just wasn't enough. All hope I had of us two actually going somewhere had slipped through my fingers. I thought that the lack of wanting to see me meant he really wasn't interested in me at all. Maybe the 'date' was just a few drinks to say thank you for my contribution to his very small pile of money.

But all this had given me the boost of confidence I needed. So when the romantic festival came back around, I already had my new outfit all ready to try and find Mr Right. I decided to go with some white jeans and a jacket and a blue top to give me a bit of colour.  

Just like last time, I started the evening off with something to eat but decided to stay away from the chop sticks. And once again, I found myself sitting on my own watching other people flirting, drinking and having a good time. Once I finished my food, I was all about ready to leave when I accidentally bumped into a man. "Oh I'm so sorry" I apologised. This guy was sort of strange to look at. He was from some Asian background but the ginger hair really didn't sit right with the look. "Hey, no worries! Are you leaving?" "Yeah, I've come to realise that this sort of thing really isn't my cup of tea!" I replied.

"You're a beautiful looking woman. Don't worry about all these other odd bods. I bet half of the breasts here are fake. And look at all the women with faces plastered with makeup. That's not what men like or want in a woman. Come and have a few drinks with me." He suggested.

We drank alot although but I was nowhere near as drunk as he was. After all the talking we've done, I still didn't know his name. But that didn't seem to bother me. "Come back to mine..." I winked. He took my hand and and grinned and then kissed me on the lips. Yes, I was clearly taking advantage. He was drunk and with his hands all on my wobbly bits, he clearly didn't care. And neither did I. I enjoyed being centre of attention, feeling noticed and wanted. There's nothing wrong with that!

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 4

Ok, so I had just agreed to go out with a man I didn't know. I was nervous! I sat in my bedroom and filed my nails, wondering whether I should go tonight. He wasn't exactly the type I'd go for but then again, did I have much room to be picky? Maybe under all that ginger hair, he could be a really nice guy?

I hunted in my wardrobe for something a little less revealing and found an old dress stuffed at the back. I done my hair and makeup and headed down to the Karoke club. I found Karim sat at a table looking around like a little lost puppy. His eyes widened as I said hello and sat beside him. "Wow you look fantastic!" he cooed. We got talking. He told me he was unemployed and that's why I found him down at the market busking for money. He was shacked up with six other people in a small hostel just out of town. It seemed like he'd had it rough. I felt bad that he kept offering to buy me drinks since I knew money was tight. So I told him to put his money away and let me buy them.

We been sat watching and listening to people make a fool of themselves on the karaoke machine on stage most of the night. But after all these drinks, I was full of confidence and dragged Karim up on the stage and asked him to pick a song we could sing together. You could see he was uncomfortable with the idea but went along with it anyway. He picked a cheesy love song and soon we were singing along to the words on the screen and laughing at each other's terrible singing voices.

"This night has been a memorable one!" Karim laughed as we stepped outside. "It sure has. Thank you! It's been great!" I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. "Let me text you my number. You can call me anytime you want if you want to hang out." I offered. "I'd really like that" He replied.

And with that, we sealed our first date with a kiss.

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 3

Today was Saturday, my favorite day of the week. I'd had a nice lie in and luckily wasn't rudely woken up by next door. Plus the Flea market was in town. I was a big bargain hunter. I was always one to go to the supermarket right at the last minute to grab all the reduced food. Looking around, there wasn't much here which took my fancy. A few old looking armchairs and a hideous looking lamp. I carried on round but was stopped in my tracks by the sound of soft music. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man busking with his guitar. I went over and listened as he played some music . I can't play any instruments. I tried to get into violin classes at school once, but didn't get picked because my arms were too short to hold it!

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a twenty note and placed it into the man's hat on the floor which only had a few coins inside. He looked at me and smiled. He stopped playing, and placing his guitar down on the ground he came closer and said "Thankyou, that's so kind of you." "My pleasure. You're music is great. You're very talented." His cheeks shone crimson. "I'm Karim, nice to meet you..." holding out his hand. I shook him hand. "I'm Anna." We stood and talked for a while, mostly about the weather and what we watched on tv last night. But as I said goodbye, he handed me a small card with a number scribbled on it. "I'm free tonight if you fancy going out for a drink? Meet me at the karoke club around 7?" "I'll see you there" I smiled.

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 2

So I'd had a good day at the office and the city was holding a romantic festival just outside my apartment. I'd always steared clear of things like this. I hated social gatherings. I was more than happy to curl up in front of the tv or play on the console, on my own, in peace. I thought it might be a good idea to go along and see what all the hype was about. I won't lie, but I'm pretty desperate to find Mr Right. Let's face it, I'm nearly thirty. I would like to find someone to fall in love with, before I get too old and my body gets even more saggy. Whilst getting ready, I thought I might squeeze myself into my old black skirt, tights and top. Black is slimming right? Oh no it's not! As soon as I turned up to the festival, it dawned on me. "Anna what the hell are you wearing?!" I thought to myself. I looked ridiculous.

I decided to stick around for a bit, so I headed to the food stall. I ordered myself a nice Thai dish, but finding that it only came with chopsticks. I played around with my food for a while, twirling the sticks round in the watery sauce, trying to work out exactly how to use them but not to catch anybody watching me. The place was packed. Lots of men walking round with their trophy women on their arms looking smug. I'd look smug too. The women were gorgeous! Not that I swing that way I may add! Soon my dinner was getting cold, so I stood in a corner out of the way and stabbed the food with the sticks and shoved it in my mouth like some animal. I had been defeated by chop sticks. The food was ok, a little too spicy for me but what the hell. I headed towards the bar and ordered myself a very large cocktail to cool down my burning mouth and sat quietly on a bench. This night was a bad idea. Nobody had even looked at me, but I'm not surprised since I've spent most of the evening shoveling food in my face in the corner, but that's not the point. Maybe I'm one of those people who will never find love?

[eliseloveuniverse-blog]

Chapter 1

It was 3am and I was rudely awoken to the sound of my neighbors throwing yet another party. The music was pumping through my bedroom wall and I was fed up with it!

It wouldn't bother me so much if the neighbors were young, but they're not! An elderly woman lives there who's clearly counting down her days, and her ugly looking middle aged son. I stormed round there and pounded on their front door. "IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'LL RAM THAT SPEAKER SO FAR UP YOUR BACKSIDE!"

So this was me, in a constant state of feeling tired and miserable. Tired of next door and my lack of sleep and miserable because, well...why not!?

Life wasn't full of rainbows and fluffy kittens. I've lived in this horrible apartment which at the time was all I could afford. I moved to San Myshuno three years ago to 'get away from it all'.

Anyway, this apartment wasn't up to scratch. I had an infestation of cockroaches and a family of mice living between the bricks and the plaster board.

My landlord Dave was a misery guts. Three times I called him out last week, only to eventually be told that I'd have to foot the bill for an exterminator!

And then there was just me in general, living with a body I wasn't proud of. I don't remember ever being slim. I was picky with food as a child but when I plucked up the courage to try new foods, I soon got hooked on chips. As my taste buds changed, so did my body shape.

I was a mess, I admit it. And to be fair, it was my own fault for not ever bothering to sort myself out. I joined the gym once. I lasted for about three weeks before I got bored.

Relationships with men were non existent. I was always seen as nothing more as a friend.

I love food. I refuse to eat salad because I'm not a rabbit. And you know what? Eating junk food makes me happy. It gets me through the day and I'm not ready to change that anytime soon!

So what is going right for me? Well, I can safely say that I have a pretty good career. I'm vice president in public relations. It's sounds more exciting than it is, believe me. But I have my own office and the authority to boss the other colleagues around, which suits me down to the ground.