elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Between Fate and Chance, in the City of Firsts

I never liked my birth month.

Felt like nothing special ever happened to me.

Everyone’s busy every July—

trying to survive the rain,

trying to get by.

Then one day, I saw a tarot reading on my feed.

I’m not a believer, not a fan,

but for some reason, I watched till the end.

It said:

“You’ll meet someone from the past.

It will surprise you both—

maybe in a mall,

maybe at work.”

I laughed, but deep inside,

it stayed with me.

Every night on my way home,

I wondered if I’d see you.

Maybe in the City of Firsts,

maybe while crossing the street.

Whenever I saw a group in black shirts,

I thought of you.

But it wasn’t you.

Maybe the reading was wrong.

Then came the last day of July.

I hoped to leave my struggles behind that night.

I had just come from an event

I didn’t want to attend—

tiring yet oddly fun.

It was a cold night.

I was hungry,

so I ordered something to eat.

That feeling still lingered—

what if I see you?

But I brushed it off.

I wore a black dress,

the same one I wore on Valentine’s.

Hair in a messy bun,

headphones on,

music drowning the noise.

Then I looked over my shoulder—

a glimpse.

Wait… was it you?

I knew it was you.

My heart pounded so fast

I thought I might faint.

Should I leave?

Or stay?

I stayed.

You came closer—

so close I felt chills.

My chest ached

and yet felt light.

Then you messaged me,

and I replied like nothing happened,

as if I hadn’t been crying for months.

I asked if you wanted to share my table.

You said yes.

I know you saw me shaking,

nervous,

but happy.

We ate.

We talked.

We caught up.

We teased.

We filled the gaps time had left.

Every question had an answer.

Everything felt clear—

like the night sky.

I almost cried

when I heard you laugh again.

When I saw your eyes again.

When, for the first time in so long,

I saw you again—

Nikki.

Every word we shared

is mine to keep.

July ended

with a softer heart,

a calmer soul.

Nikki,

yesterday was our night

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

It was nice seeing you. 🍓

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

“Did You Just Love My Star?”

I usually remember

Specific dates, tiny details—

Especially when it matters.

But this time,

All I remember

Is the feeling.

The message came from you,

Last May.

I knew it was coming.

I felt it.

Still, I let my guard down.

I didn’t know it would be that night.

What did you feel, by the way?

I was in the middle

Of closing my semester,

But I couldn’t focus.

My hands were shaking.

I was scared.

God, I was so scared.

Did it hurt you, too?

I tried to remember everything,

Every moment, every word.

Did I let you down?

Did I say something cruel?

I couldn’t think of any.

I just wanted to disappear.

What did I do?

It was so silent.

Too silent.

The cold crept into my bones.

I had to tell someone.

I had to—

Or it would devour me, quietly,

Alone.

I told my cousin.

I thought she would understand.

I only asked for help,

For a little privacy.

Instead,

She told the whole family.

Told them how you left me.

And just like that,

My grief became

A walk of shame.

I was so scared, Nikki.

I had to carry it all,

Alone.

No help. No shield.

You said you weren’t ready.

That life was too heavy.

I believed you.

I supported you.

But it still broke me.

How do you hurt someone

Who gave you everything?

Who bared her soul

And offered her scars like flowers?

Tell me,

Did you love me?

Or did you just love

My star?

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Day One Since You Left

Introduction

This is a compilation of the days I survived without you.

Of words I couldn’t say out loud.

Of quiet aches folded into verses.

I wrote when my hands trembled.

I wrote when the silence screamed.

I wrote because I had no one else to tell.

This is not just about you.

This is about me—

still here, still feeling,

still finding my way back.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Sonder

on a rainy workday

It’s raining here in the office.

Chilly, quiet.

I wonder if it’s the same there.

Your place is known for this kind of weather anyway.

I’ve finished my work,

but I’m still here,

staring at the screen,

writing this.

Earlier,

before I crossed off the last task,

I was sobbing.

My heart felt unbearably heavy.

I thought sadness would make me

more productive,

more creative.

But no.

It was draining.

So, so draining.

Now,

can I tell you about the art of sonder?

It’s the quiet understanding

that everyone you pass

is living a life

as rich, as complex,

as aching

as your own.

I’ve seen so many faces in this office,

heard their laughter, their gossip.

But I’ve learned:

someone is overwhelmed,

still smiling.

Someone is carrying good news

with no one to tell.

Someone is just

trying

to be okay today.

And me,

I’m hurting,

but growing.

Observing.

Softening.

At the train station,

someone rushes to apologize.

Another dreads what comes next.

Someone hopes this ride

offers a small breath of peace.

In the same space,

at the same time.

At work,

not everyone is just tired.

Some are grieving silently.

Some are haunted by one small mistake.

Some are simply

showing up

with what little they have left.

At a café,

I notice quiet moments.

Someone applying for a job that scares them.

Someone typing something they’ll delete.

Someone healing

in the background.

Sonder reminds us

to slow down.

To stop assuming.

To look again.

The people you’ll never truly know

matter too.

Today,

I messaged my friends

and asked a silly question.

Only a few replied.

And that’s okay.

I understand.

Even as things feel like

they’re falling apart again,

I remind myself:

I have a good heart.

And not everyone

can carry pain

quietly,

or forever.

So let’s slow down,

for each other.

Please.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Back to Zero

Today at work, a friend smiled,

a bouquet of flowers in one hand,

chocolates wrapped in gold in the other.

I was happy for her. Truly.

But something stirred.

A quiet ache bloomed beneath my ribs,

not envy, just

a whisper of longing:

What if someone thought of me like that?

I thought of you.

You would have given more

not just gifts,

but the feeling of being chosen,

held,

understood.

I miss you.

I miss who I was with you.

The way you made me feel

without even trying.

No matter how many trips I planned,

how many nights I laughed with friends,

how loudly I lived,

I thought I was healing.

I swore I was healing.

But seeing her receive flowers

broke something.

It shook me.

It reminded me

how fragile this progress is.

I am back to zero.

Again.

I haven’t spoken your name aloud

since we parted.

Haven’t written you a poem

until now.

Maybe it’s just hormones.

Maybe it’s just griefwith a new disguise.

I don’t know.

I’m not sure.

But today,

I am sad.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Too Much

I give more than I should,

even when I’m running low.

They take it like it costs nothing

like I don’t feel the cracks forming.

Being yourself shouldn’t feel this heavy.

But some hands only know how to hold

until you’re empty.

And I just keep pouring.

Even when no one stays

to fill me back up.

But I stay kind

not because I’ve never been hurt,

but because I remember how it felt

to be the hurting one.

And maybe that’s the risk

of being this open:

that someone will see me

and still not know

how to carry you.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Elyu, And Everything After

It wasn’t planned.
Just a message,
a maybe,
a “tara?”
And suddenly, we were chasing the sun
up north.

Elyu greeted us
with open skies,
roads that didn’t honk,
and waves that spoke louder than city noise ever could.

You—
you were different there.
Or maybe,
you were finally you.
No deadlines to race,
no dreams to chase
just the wind in your hair,
and peace in your eyes.

I watched you breathe.
Really breathe.
And in between
the surf and silence,
I breathed with you.

You showed me
how the world feels
when it’s not rushed.
How food tastes
when it’s not eaten in a hurry.
How laughter sounds
when it’s not a break from stress—
but a rhythm of joy.

Somewhere between
that stretch of sand
and your hand gently brushing mine,
I realized:
this isn’t just a trip.
This is us
growing,
softening,
becoming.

And for the first time,
outside the city,
I saw you clearly.
And maybe,
I saw me too.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Jollibee Chicken Skin

When I first stepped into your place,

It felt like home, a warm embrace.

Tired from wandering, we chose to stay,

And share a meal in the most simple way.

We ordered Jollibee, laughter in the air,

As we ate, you offered me a thoughtful share.

Your chicken skin, so simple, so kind—

A gesture like that, no one else would find.

No one’s ever done something so sweet,

But with you, it all feels complete.

It’s always the little things that mean the most,

The quiet moments that matter the most.

Please, don’t give up on us, don’t let it fade,

Because it’s you I want, in this bond we’ve made.

No one else will ever do,

I wanted it to be you, forever, just you.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

I’m still mad at you, or maybe not,

A whirlwind inside, tangled in thought.

You almost lost me, once again,

I knew you weren’t ready, my heart in pain.

So much on your mind, a battle within,

It’s you versus you, where do I begin?

I hate our timing, it’s never quite right,

Tears are falling, hidden from sight.

I begged and fought for what we’ve got,

Through every storm, every painful thought.

I want to be the one who stays,

Through the dark times, in endless maze.

I want to scream, but I’m too tired,

My soul exhausted, my heart is wired.

I just want to lie down, let the tears fall free,

Detaching from the world, just wanting to be me.

But I don’t want to lose you, not now, not yet,

So please, keep choosing me, no regrets.

I’ll stay, I’ll fight, through every test,

For you, for us, we’ll be our best.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

You had me at “how are you?”

I met you when the weight was heavy,

When work felt like an endless struggle,

And everyone knew I was breaking.

But you… you were different.

I remember you asked,

“First of all, how are you?”

And for the first time in a long time,

I felt seen.

Tears rushed,

Because no one had ever truly cared to ask.

You listened without judgment,

And in that moment,

I realized there was someone

Who actually heard me.

You stood apart from the rest,

While the world around me saw my cracks,

You saw me—

Not as a problem,

But as a person.

And from there,

The conversation never stopped,

A quiet comfort,

A safe space to be real.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

My Cornelia Street

A city once beyond my view,

Its streets were just a place I knew.

But then you came, and in your way,

It changed from gray to soft array.

What seemed so distant now feels near,

Hey, my Nikki, I’ll just be here.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

FIRST KISS

I was excited, knowing we’d meet for the first time,

You planned it all, and let our worlds align.

Our first night together — laughing, eating, playing.

I thought of a subtle kiss, soft and sweet, my heart swaying.

We sat in the car, the night about to end,

I turned to you, hoping for a kiss on your cheek.

But as I leaned in, you faces me instead,

And we kissed on the lips, our hearts suddenly led.

My heart races fast, the world went still,

We stayed in silence, caught in the thrill.

Then, as you moved to leave, I knew it was right,

I had to kiss you again, in that quiet night.

This time, the fire within me burned,

A passion sparked, a longing returned.

I recognized it, as though it was divine,

A kiss from my future— can you be mine?

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

You always make me kilig

It all started with a single glance,

And suddenly, the world felt bright.

Why do your eyes have that kind of power,

Making me blush in less than an hour?

I was telling you a story, all smooth and steady,

Then you stared — wait, what was I saying already?

I tried to go on, but my mind hit a wall,

And my cheeks screamed traitor — blushing and all!

No need for words, no grand display,

Just the way your gaze meets mine.

Oh, how you leave me weak and shy—

My Nikkidoo, my kilig supply!

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

First storm

I feel so cold.

The night bites deep,

and you're far from me—

Baguio to Laguna isn’t a joke.

You know how I love to ask silly questions,

how you’d answer them with a smile.

But this time, I got it wrong,

turned laughter into silence.

The night grew colder,

our words distant, fading.

You almost walked away,

and I almost let you—again.

But silence stretched, not as an ending,

but as a bridge waiting to be crossed.

And somewhere between my sighs and your hesitations,

We found a reason to stay.

Not in grand apologies,

but in the way you soften your voice.

Not in perfect understanding,

but in choosing not to walk away.

Distance is cruel,

but love is patient.

And even on the coldest nights,

I’d rather shiver with you than be warm alone.

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

Among all the souls I’ve crossed paths with,

You captured me in ways I can’t name.

From the bottom of my hypothalamus,

Happy Valentines.

Heart’s day

[elladuckandeverthingthatrhymes]

I got you in my bio with a Pokémon reference on it,

Turns out we share the same favorite.

You must be Gengar, cause’ every time you’re near, I feel an electrifying chill.

You’ve hanunted my heart since the moment we met

And I’ve caught ‘em all,

Now all I need is you to complete my team.