ellevatoor - Tumblr blog

[ellevatoor]

Maintaining healthy well-being is such a complicated task. Grasping and keeping happiness in one's grip is hard. When you thought it was easy because you just have to do fun things, stuff that you enjoy, but then at one point, the things you kept under the bed just slip out without warning: the overthinking, the envy, the pressure from everything around you, the regrets—all the things that you tried to ignore—they come back and haunt you. They just barge into your mind like a parent entering your room without knocking, just to nag at you about the things that you're already aware of. But then life also gets better eventually. You just wake up the following day less tired, less grumpy, and less regretful, and you just proceed with your tasks with a light heart.

[ellevatoor]

Through Practicum and Beyond

Last week, I completed my 200-hour industrial practicum as a psychology student, which was a big achievement for me. We really pushed ourselves during the last 7 days to finish up the hours. It was important to avoid overlapping with the start of the semester, which coincided with the end of our practicum. Luckily, the first week of the semester was all online orientations, so I could still manage both.

My practicum started on July 11 and ended on August 16. It was an amazing learning experience for me, as I got to work with a department that taught me a lot. Although there were some tough times, I understood that the professional world isn't always smooth sailing. I embraced the fact that not everyone I work with will be easy to get along with, just like in the real world. It felt like a glimpse of what actual work life will be.

Yes, it was tiring, but I still want to explore the corporate world after graduation. My supervisor, despite being just a few years older, was incredibly supportive and shared valuable advice. I really consider her a mentor. Her willingness to help and guide me made my one-month stay at the company really worthwhile.

Shifting gears, classes have begun, and some good news came in – our study protocol got the green light from the institution's ethical review board. This means we can start gathering data for our research study, and we have until the end of the semester, which also happens to be the end of the year, for our undergraduate research defense.

I'm really excited about everything happening in my life right now. Things are going smoothly, and I hope they stay that way. The second half of the year already started a month ago, and I'm looking forward to it flying by. Graduation, which I've worked so hard for, will be here before I know it.

I'm also happy that I'm keeping a good balance between my health, hobbies, and studies. Even though my schedule will get busier soon, I'll cherish this flexible time. As I enter the final stretch of college, I know I need to manage my time well. I've already been in college for 2 extra years, so there's no room for mistakes.

All in all, it's been quite a journey. I've learned from the ups and downs and am ready to face what's next. The experiences I've had have prepared me for whatever comes my way. Here's to the coming challenges and successes!

[ellevatoor]

whispers of opportunity in the industry as a psychology student

I started my practicum in an industrial setting last Tuesday. We were tasked to work in the HR department at a hospital. I was really excited about this opportunity since I enrolled in my BS Psychology degree program a few years ago. Although I'm most looking forward to my clinical setting practicum, experiencing working in HR will also give me insight into office settings.

Our supervisor assigned us to different departments, and I chose the Learning and Development (L&D) department. Initially, I planned to go to the Employee Wellbeing Clinic, but when my classmate was asked if she wanted it, she said yes. Nonetheless, I was still interested in L&D as I was curious about their functions, and I would be the only intern there.

My first-day supervisor was very helpful. She provided a brief orientation about the hospital and the department itself. She assigned me tasks that were suitable for the department I was assigned to, rather than giving me simple and odd intern tasks. She also took the time to explain the importance and purpose of each task and willingly answered my questions.

On my second day, a new HR officer from the same department became my supervisor. Since I had completed my tasks with my first supervisor, she assigned me new ones. She also took the time to discuss and explain the importance of each task. She mentioned that she was once in my shoes and wanted me to have a fruitful OJT experience by learning about human resources.

During my four days at the company, I had the opportunity to work on various tasks and learn something new each time. I feel fortunate to have been assigned to the L&D department and to have supportive supervisors who are willing to help me learn. I hope they don't see me as a nuisance but as a helpful presence. In a short span of time, I've gained valuable knowledge in the L&D department and I'm truly happy about it. So far, I'm enjoying my time there.

I've experienced different tasks, such as updating the masterlist for outsourced employees, observing how virtual training programs are conducted, answering phone calls as an HR employee, sorting and organizing necessary files for employee 201 files, creating a training report based on evaluation forms, and preparing an external training and travel report for employees.

Furthermore, the head of the department personally visited my area (yes, I have my own office-like space, not just a cubicle) to greet and welcome me. They also assigned me an easy task before leaving the L&D department, as we requested to be rotated to different departments to gain as much experience as possible within our 200 hours. All the people in the L&D department are nice and welcoming.

In conclusion, my experience in the HR department has been truly rewarding. I have learned valuable skills and gained insight into the operations of an office setting, particularly in the Learning and Development department. The support and guidance from my supervisors have been instrumental in making my practicum enjoyable and educational. As I look ahead to my future experiences, I eagerly anticipate being rotated to different departments. This opportunity will allow me to further broaden my knowledge and understanding of various aspects of the company. I am grateful for the warm welcome and the chance to contribute during my time at the L&D department, and I am excited for the adventures that lie ahead in my upcoming rotations.

[ellevatoor]

Who Saw That Coming? Definitely not me

On March 26, 2023, I took the Civil Service Exam at the Professional level. Today, we received the results, and I passed. To be honest, I didn't prioritize the exam much. I only took it because my parents wanted me to do something, perhaps as a way to redeem myself after transferring schools as a college student, which isn't seen in a positive light. I willingly obliged to keep the peace at home, as I knew they would keep asking until I did it. I applied for the exam in December 2022, and only my internet friends knew about it. I only studied for the exam on March 25, as I didn't really consider it something I wanted to do; it was solely for my parents. I studied until midnight and only had a few hours of sleep before the exam.

On the morning of the exam day, my mom accompanied me, and we argued on the way because we didn't know how to get to the testing site and how much the fare would be. The tricycle driver asked for 100 pesos, which I thought was overpriced considering it was morning and there was no traffic. But let's not dwell on that anymore; it's already done. Anyway, I arrived at the testing site on time, and we took the exam as scheduled. While I was taking the exam, I accidentally fell asleep for a minute or two, and the facilitator lightly tapped me to wake me up. I felt drowsy and was only halfway through the exam. I took several bathroom breaks to stretch and wake myself up, but it didn't help much. I only felt completely awake when the proctor announced that we only had 30 minutes left, and I still had some questions remaining in the English part and had just started with the Math section. I tried my best to finish everything, but I became a little desperate due to the time pressure, so I quickly answered some of the math problems without much thought. As soon as I left the testing site, I already accepted that I wouldn't pass the exam because of what had happened. I was so sure of it.

Fast forward to today, my mom woke me up at 6 in the morning to tell me that the results for the Civil Service Exam were out and that I should check them. Until 1 in the afternoon, she kept asking about it, but the website had a lot of traffic, and I truly believed that I hadn't passed the exam. However, by 1 PM, I also saw my name on the list of passers on another site. I didn't tell my mom because I wanted to confirm it on the main site to ensure its legitimacy. It's now 3 PM, and I still can't access the main site for the exam passers, but I think I have already accepted that I passed the exam. UPDATE: 3:47 PM - Confirmed now through the main website that I did really pass the exam!

[ellevatoor]

February Reading Journal entry! For this month, I read Book Lovers by Emily Henry. I was originally planning to read Neon Gods by Katee Robert but I found out that it’s a series and I’m afraid I can’t commit on reading a series since I have a lot on my plate for this semester with my Undergraduate Research and preparations for practicum. I just randomly searched for a list of Romance Books in Good Reads and picked the best synopsis that caught my attention. Luckily, I picked Book Lovers because I really enjoyed reading the whole of it.

One of my most favorite lines from the books is,

Maybe love shouldn’t be built on a foundation of compromises, but maybe it can’t exist without them either. Not the kind that forces two people into shapes they don’t fit in, but the kind that loosens their grips, always leaves room to grow. Compromises that say, there will be a you-shaped space in my heart, and if your shape changes, I will adapt.

[ellevatoor]

college is so expensive

Title. God, I wish I can work while studying but my class schedule already takes up most of my time for the day and the remaining hours are meant for resting, doing some hobbies, and doing chores + school works. Please let me out of this phase in life immediately — 2 years overtime is already enough. I want to work and earn my own money so I can buy everything that I like, live independently, and do whatever I want to do in my own private space.

[ellevatoor]

1 AM Rambles

I don’t know if I am doing well with our undergraduate research preparation. We’re still on the brainstorming phase for our topic and I feel like I am being overly into details with the suggestions of my groupmates. I am feeling conscious about the things I’m doing because I am new to the class and they are also new to me. I don’t know how my actions will deliver to them when all I am doing are the usual things I have adapted previously from my peers back in my old uni. But undergraduate research is one of the things I am most looking forward to when I enrolled to my degree program. There’s this small dream of mine of making a notable study that can be published to a journal, may it be online or a physical copy. 

[ellevatoor]

So I am trying to start something this year which is to read at least one book every month. And for the month of January, I read Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren which was recommended to me by a friend. Tried my best to relay my thoughts coherently regarding the book. It was a good read and a light plot (not really) to start off this goal of mine this 2023.

I really love the authors’ words in this book.

I remember the way he would hug her when he got home from work. He would wrap his arms all the way around her shoulders, press his face into her hair while his body curved over hers. His arms became a set of parentheses bracketing the sweetest secret phrase.

I really adore the father’s love for the mother and vice versa. It was something so ethereal which made me crave for something like that for my own—to experience a love that is booming, roaring, vociferous bellow. The words used were neither tender nor delicate to associate with the word ‘love’ but in that sentence, it described perfectly a love that one aches for.

[ellevatoor]

23 sapphic books in 2023

Here’s a list of 2023 book releases with f/f pairings that you can add to your TBR and you can preorder now to support the authors!  

Science Fiction / Fantasy books:

The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang

Ravensong by Cayla Fay

The Valkyrie by Kate Heartfield

The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Ann Older

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

Lucha of the Night Forest Tehlor by Kay Mejia

The Sun and the Void by Gabriela Romero-Lacruz

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz

Juniper Harvey and the Vanishing Kingdom by Nina Varela

Contemporary romance books: 

Life is Strange: Steph’s Story by Rosiee Thor

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

Out of Character by Jenna Miller

What a Desi Girl Wants by Sabina Khan

The Dos and Donuts of Love by Adiba Jaigirdar

The Girl Next Door by Cecilia Vinesse

Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko

Mimosa by Archie Bongiovanni

The Rules of Us by Jennifer Nissley

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni

If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come by Jen St. Jude

The Fiancée Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur

May 2023 bring you even more sapphicness and books! 🎆🎇

[ellevatoor]

LIFE LATELY

How is my 2022 going?

Well, this year, I did a lot of life-changing decisions for myself but the most important one...I think...is transferring to a new university though I’m already in my third-slash-fourth year of my bachelor’s degree.

I needed to transfer because things aren’t going so well in my old uni and I also grabbed the opportunity of starting anew as a new school year starts. So far, I am almost done with one semester and I am doing well in my acads. The uni I transferred to is also implementing a limited face-to-face mode of learning so I get to go to the campus from time to time. I really prefer this setup and I hope that by next year, it’ll be all full face-to-face classes.

While focusing on my acads, I also started a new hobby which is watching an anime. I have been consistently watching several anime series for about 2 years now since it became one of my coping mechanisms when the pandemic and lockdown took place in our country. I have come to a realization that I am not a multitasker, therefore, I only chose 2 hobbies to do while still enrolled for the current semester. One is playing Genshin Impact which is a game I am fully attached to since I started playing it during v1.0 and the other one is starting a new anime.

Playing a mobile game is not a distraction that much since I am currently suffering from a chronic genshin burnout so I just do my dailies or skip it if I really can’t. 

On the other hand, watching anime became my main hobby or side activity. I started watching Eiichiro Oda’s One Piece. I have attempted watching the series wayback 2020 but I told myself that it’s not very appropriate of me to watch an almost thousand episode long anime while currently having a pile of backlogs. However, I really wanted to try something new this year so I pushed myself on watching the anime to which I am not regretting because I am really enjoying it now. I am now currently in Whole Cake Island Arc and I just hit episode 800 this month. I am also planning to keep up with the latest episode before this year ends.

This year, while me and my friends were celebrating our birthday and hanging out, we happened to bumped into a cosplay event. We got so hooked up to the point that we attended another cos event as attendees. By next year, we are planning to attend one as cosers. I am planning to cosplay either genderbend Zoro or Ace but it’ll probably be the latter since three of us plans on attending as ASL.

This year, I also still do some cooking and baking since it is one of my markers if my mental health is still going well. I have tried baking several pastries to which I am satisfied with the result but I still want to improve my skills. My dad said that he will enroll me and my mom on a summer baking class next year and I am so excited about it.

Lastly, I ended my 7-month long dating status with my partner. It wasn’t the ending I was expecting for us because I have lot of plans in my mind with her but some things just really doesn’t go according to our plans. Well, it’s been a while now and life is still going on.

[ellevatoor]

"You're always wearing long sweaters and trench coats and you always look miserable in the heat and today you finally got heat stroke and while I was removing your outer layers to cool you down oops I found out that you have wings" AU

- (@yellowmagicalgirl)

[ellevatoor]

Remember that you don't have to be drained of all your energy to finally rest. You don't have to be overwhelmed, exhausted, incapacitated or sick to finally take a break. You don't have to wait until you get worse and burn out to finally feel like you earned rest. Rest is not earned by being productive and overworking. It is a human right. It is a human need. You deserve to rest.

[ellevatoor]

To you, who waits patiently

Two months have passed since we started dating again and I appreciate a lot your patience. I hope that you won’t get tired waiting for someone like me who is ready yet scared to risk. All my life, I’ve labeled myself as a risk-taker kind of person but after a couple of times risking for the wrong person, wrong time, and wrong situation - little by little, I started being scared of wanting and reaching something without hesitations. I lost courage and I pitied myself for being left always without anything, not even my pride, or just a little love for myself.

To you, who is waiting patiently, I hope that you won’t lose trust. I hope that every time we’re together, you will remember that one day, someday, we’ll be able to reach the goal we both want. I’ll be able to give everything without hesitation and I’ll be able to trust and believe that someone is capable to reciprocating the love that I am willing to give.

[ellevatoor]

the gang setting known vampire stan priya up with the goth girl… they really said gay rights :’) | TURNING RED (2022)

[ellevatoor]

the gang setting known vampire stan priya up with the goth girl… they really said gay rights :’) | TURNING RED (2022)

[ellevatoor]

feel my rhythm by red velvet (2022) 🎼👑🎶🌺🖼

[ellevatoor]

[After the Bartending Event]

Diluc: Alright, how much money did you make?

Aether: We were supposed to make money?

Diluc:

Diluc: What the fuck do you mean you were supposed–