elllzzi

[elllzzi]

auras

Halos appear like golden rays

Spewing from umbras shaded

entirely too long

Imperfections radiate haze

Angelic breeze runs through your veins

Your colors surrounding vibrate a different beat

The way your frequency sways

I see each and every one for what their aura tells me

[elllzzi]

[elllzzi]

[elllzzi]

[elllzzi]

2-13-18

Yet another very boring day, I literally waited around waiting for the clock to hit 3 o clock my days usually zoom by once 2 hits honestly. Another day of meaningless conversation and people pretending to give a fuck about your day, saying “how was your weekend, hows the fam etc etc.” well quite frankly debra I do not give a fuck how your child got sick from eating the crap you feed him all week long because you are too lazy to cook (that was completely hypothetical just assumptions white kids do not get fed as well) ((also very jokingly hehe)) anywhoooo yeah listening to a bunch of peoples problems when I cannot even focus on my own problems at hand. But it is okay because that is what I am here for, to help to listen and give you the slightest bit of hope. I spent the past few days looking around at computers because my old laptop was ready to give out. It just made me realize how much I hate consumerism and how much I hate that I am apart of it. I gave myself a very shit low budget because of that reason. I do not need nothing flashy or capable of a lot I just need something to type my insignificant babble of the day and look up shit I find interesting. Other than that my day was great I got a little cheapie laptop and I feel like that is 1% of list of things I have to do off my list now just prepare for the other 99% ^-^ I need to get a grip of things in my life right now and just read more, learn more because I find myself not caring the last thing I want to do is become a zombie as well and just stop caring to improve or enhance my capabilities. Its all about the little things in life or our days though that keep us truckin’ but I am content where things are headed and if I just stay patient with things maybe I wont consider life to be so innocuous. 

[elllzzi]

Kid Cudi in 2016 on 35mm

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[elllzzi]

People watching is so fun

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Venice beach is always just so busy and electric all the time, the vibrations are definitely very different there but in a very good way.

[elllzzi]

a very good day this was indeed

[elllzzi]

Reality bites

Why? Because everything is a lie Would full of deception

Just try Try not to die Life is a huge misconception

I simply sigh One big catch in the rye Loosing innocence through deception

Why even try? Emotions hotter than July We must learn all we have is perception

[elllzzi]

I have the virgencita tattooed on my back and there are the variances of people who question it and others who simply compliment. The meaning behind this as you’d think “are you catholic, religious?” I mean when I was being raised yes technically catholic but I am also part Native American so I still was apart of all the religious ceremonies they held as well. But to actually say I am religious, not so much. I was always very skeptical towards religion even as a younger kid I had no idea what or why all of that could mean so much to people but one thing that always stood out was our lady de guadalupe. In both my Mexican and native culture they praised the virgen she was very much celebrated all over, to me she held such divine radiance to her. With all the shrines to her in both households it made me hold her so dear to my heart even before God. I guess the little feminism in me blossomed early because I always thought well without her we would have no God. Mind you this my logic as a child, and I thought without her Divine Presence there was nothing. She to me was Mother Nature, and the sign of all interconnectedness in the world. She was my God in a sense my higher power because again as a kid I had a lot of Nihilism towards God and religion but no matter what the Virgen de Guadalupe always held such truth to me don’t know why it just always did. That���s exactly why I have her tattooed on my back, because that female energy is always with me and will never leave me. My dad also has this on his back so it brings that meaning even a little closer to me.

[elllzzi]

I don’t know why in this day n age it’s so hard to just be yourself I don’t not shave my pits for the fucking aesthetic I simply don’t see the point. I look up to a lot of women who simply chose to be unapologetically themselves we’ve always been taught to fit some kind of mold when we’re younger. Wear your hair nice, do your makeup, be clean at all times yadidadi whatever I was always that kid who didn’t care for clean crisp ass clothing I was completely okay with getting dirty and just having fun as it should be. My mom would try to force me to do my makeup and hair once I was “of age” and I hated it because it just didn’t translate with me as a young girl I didn’t care for the things girls my age did. I was fine w my messy hair and natural face, when I tried doing my makeup it was a utter failure lol for a long time I contemplated why I was so different from most girls just a little Tom boy. But anyways back to the point as younger women we are forced to be what society thinks is okay and beautiful. And that exact societal thinking is what leads girls to not like themselves because they don’t look like that girl on the internet or tv blah blah fuck those girls man they’re just a representation of what you should look like but in reality we need to just be ourselves and not give a fuck what you wear. Wear those funky ass shoes or pants that everyone always gives you shit for wear your crazy like you like it. Wear all the outlandish makeup the way YOU want!! Point is we’re at a time in the world where things are being more and more accepted where we are learning to be ourselves and create a identity we want. European women would wear the fuck out of them hairy pits they were glorified for it and as they were all beautiful creatures! I don’t shave because men don’t why should I? Also razor burn fucking sucks lmao it is not worth the irritation and I’m the last person to try and conform to some form that society says is okay, and although I get shit for it at times I honestly could care less because I am 100% happy with myself and the current life I am curating. I love me and every other young women trying to find themselves in a world full of replicas 💓

[elllzzi]

I feel like I am internally rebooting as if everything I use to know was a lie. As if there’s some kind of glitch in my reality. If it doesn’t make sense I must make sense of it and learn to just use every experience to my own advantage. At times I feel my social anxiety start to kick in but I realize it’s just the people I am around. But either way I’m learning to be in control of it all, and really be aware of my surroundings so it doesn’t happen again. I’m not quite sure but I’m still loading...

[elllzzi]

where the fuck is time going?

[elllzzi]

This was a face of a weary 21 year old waiting for life to just fucking pass by in a world full of vapid ass egotistic people who care for nothing but theirselves which frankly can be us all sometimes but this time in my life I was particularly frustrated w people and no longer wanted friendships w mundane people who didn't want to question anything in their existence I wanted more and kept asking why why why to every little thing and had to do some soul searchin' and truly find a reason why everyday is getting better but yet everyday I have more and more questions.

[elllzzi]

Clocks ticking Free your mind from this illusion we call time Time to unwind our minds from the clock This is all just a paradigm Serving as our bind to psychological time It should be a crime But I should be sublime Because it'll all change overtime FREE YOUR FUCKING MIND FROM TIME!!!