elorawrites

[elorawrites]

true blue. (three)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie buys a scone and you drink a shirley temple

warnings: suggestive themes, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: i love writing as ellie writing in her journal... also the ai audios were a bitch to make this time... hope u like them THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD - I apologize.

here is the masterlist where you can read part one and two!

Ellie wanted nothing more than to pretend the last two days of her life didn’t exist.

But that wasn’t possible. This was real life and Ellie had received a booty call from her most recent heartbreak merely hours after she had her fingers tucked inside of her ex. Ellie wasn’t even completely sure why she was entertaining it, but she knew that whatever choice she made she would curse herself forever. 

The truth was that Ellie had missed Cat almost as much as she hated her. There’s a certain kind of comfort that only your first love can bring, and a certain kind of addiction Ellie had for her. But at the end of the day, it always came down to one thing: Ellie wanted to be known by someone.

And she was known by Cat, albeit for only for a few months, but still she was known. Cat saw all the worst parts of her and still held her like glass every night. She saw the things that Ellie couldn’t even imagine liking about herself and turned them into something beautiful. Ellie’s heart had been harbored in the chest of Cat’s for almost a year and that was something you couldn’t just forget.

Then there was you. Ellie had known you all for a few weeks and was already entranced by you. She liked the little things you did, like buy her tea after realizing she didn’t like coffee or how you always printed an extra sheet of notes knowing she would forget to bring hers to class. What astonished Ellie even more was that you did most of this while she was giving you the cold shoulder.

What plagued Ellie about this was that she knew for a fact that if she got to know you, she would fall in love with you. She had already written down a list of things about you in her journal and she was starting to feel like she was going insane.

Likes a lot of sugar in her coffee… too much sugar almost, made a comment about it and she told me ‘that’s why she was so sweet’.. It was corny as fuck. She’s fucking adorable.

This little freak told me how she communicates with squirrels, she waves her arm or some shit, i told her she was clinically insane… AND THEN SHE DID IT??? She moved her arm and a fucking squirrel ran up to us… what the fuck, is this girl magic?

She smiles everytime she sees me, even after I’ve been a jerk.. Dina told me I should drop it but I can’t, when I see her stupid beautiful face I remember Cat, am i the crazy one?

She looked so sad today. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I didn’t… I’m such an asshole sometimes. I don’t know why I do this to myself. If I was her I’d run the other way but she just sticks around… who does that?

I swear she’s playing mind games with me, her shirt was so tight today that i just

 She smells like cherry and vanilla… almost want to take a bite

She didn’t text me about the project today… is she forgetting about me?

Ellie never thought she would be in this predicament. She never imagined having a sense of loyalty to you, but a part of her felt that if she went over to Cat’s she would be betraying you. 

So she didn’t.

That Saturday morning Ellie went to Bean and picked up the strawberry scone you love so much and your coffee with extra sugar and headed over to your dorm. As she approached your building her palms got increasingly more sweaty. She was quickly losing the confidence she had when she was with you yesterday, but she was determined to start fresh with you. 

She even imagined the two of you bonding over shitty exes, kissing all the places they refused to. She imagined crying in your lap instead of Dina’s and kissing the inside of your thigh when she finally felt better. She imagined taking a bath with you, you rubbing whatever sickly sweet cherry scent you were obsessed with over her body. She was imagining a lot of things, but she was getting ahead of herself. 

Ellie knocked about five times before deciding that you were asleep. Just as she turned to leave she heard a groan from the other side of the door.

“Ugh, hello?” Your voice came out raspy, evidence of last night in your voice. 

“Um, hi… it’s me.” Ellie spoke, her throat getting a little bit dry. “It’s Ellie.”

“Oh shit, Ellie.” You opened the door quickly ushering her in. She stepped in and watched as you put a hand on your forehead, the hangover written all over your face. It was evident that you had slept in your make-up, as she could see the mascara smudged across your face. You looked like a fucking mess, but Ellie thought you looked beautiful.

Suddenly, she was shy again. “Fun night, huh?” She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, it was fucking fantastic.” You replied sarcastically, climbing back onto your bed and patting the spot next to you, ushering Ellie to join you. “What’cha got there?” You questioned, eyes glancing at the bag and cup she had resting in her hands. 

“Oh it’s, uh, it’s that scone you like… and your sugar coffee.” She walked over to where you were, handing you the bag and cup as she sat down next to you. She smiled as she watched your features soften as you blinked up at her, a small genuine smile on your face. 

“For me?” You beamed. Ellie noticed two things right away: you had tears in your eyes, and no one had ever done something like this for you before. It was so small in terms of gestures, but Ellie’s heart swelled with pride as you thanked her.

She watched you take a bite, before you closed your eyes and gave her a fake moan. “This is so fucking good. I needed this.” 

“I’m glad.” She gently nudged your shoulder with hers. 

“Ellie… I don’t mean this to be rude, but why are you here?” You asked reluctantly. She could tell you weren’t trying to be rude so she didn’t take any real offense to it. If Ellie was being honest with herself she couldn’t exactly place why she was here either. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be at Cat’s. She also knew that she wanted to hang out with you, but the more she sat here the more she realized she should’ve asked you. 

“Oh I, I just wanted to talk about yesterday…” She came up with the lie quickly knowing it may be the only thing that made sense. “And what that means for us… not that there is an us but… you know.”

All you did was nod and take another bite of your scone. “What does it mean for us?” 

She took a deep breath as she eyed you. You truly were the eighth wonder of the world to her. It was like there was something that was always pulling her towards you. At first she thought that something was Cat, but there was no way that whatever attraction she had to you was based on Cat alone. 

You were completely different. When she spoke, it was obvious you were listening. It was like you wanted to hear what she had to say. You laughed at her lame joke and never made her feel like an idiot for making them. When she got quiet you would try to bring her out of her shell by telling her stupid puns. She was mad at you at the time, but her heart still appreciated it. You never let her look stupid in class or in public. One time you even got down on your knee and tied her shoe for her. You were heaven incarnate, and you made her feel like she was deserving of that.

“I just… I think when I met you it scared me how much I liked you. I had just gotten broken up with and I couldn’t get into another thing… you know? But there you were with your sweet fucking voice and pens and I just.. I shut down and I pulled away from you and I know yesterday felt so sudden but I had been thinking about doing that for a while now. I think I want to know you more, but in order to do that I think we should start over. Clean slate. Act like my fingers were never inside you and all that. Maybe even let me take you out on a date.” Ellie rambled out, carefully watching your face for any reaction that would give you away. 

“Oh Ellie,” You whispered, your voice soft and tender. You brought a hand up to push her hair behind her ears, ignoring how her face flushed and grew hot. “I would love that. But I refuse to forget those fingers.”

“They’re good fingers, right?” She was beaming up at you, freckled and starry eyed. “How about tomorrow for that date?” 

“Works for me.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. This had felt more like a first kiss to Ellie than anything she had done prior. It was gentle and sweet and left her pulse racing. It was the kind of kiss that she closed her eyes for, hoping it would last longer. It was the kind of kiss you held your breath for.

-

It had been almost three weeks since you and Ellie started going out, and she was on the verge of asking you to be her girlfriend. That title was still sore in her chest but she was fighting through it for you. 

You were someone who had ‘girlfriend’ written all over them. You were the type of person people would want to call their girlfriend. You always kissed Ellie goodbye, held her hand as much as possible, and best of all you gave really good head. Ellie was trying to be less vulgar and more romantic but the minute you started working her with your tongue, she became 16 again. 

Ellie had made it a habit to add more about you in her journal after every date you had, the scribbles getting more frantic as the time went on. She felt like a fucking child.

She ordered a Shirley Temple at dinner today… At first I was like??? What the fuck? But then she took the cherry stem and tied it with her tongue. THEN she told me that she was going to show me again later… and in my head I’m like??? But then later came and… well so did I.

We saw a stray cat on our walk today and it approached us… a cat has never fucking approached me in my life? Maybe I have shit vibes or something.. But not my girl, she’s like a fucking rainbow. She pet it and made a comment about getting pussy. I’m crushing on the girl I’m going out with.

This little weirdo made me a mug in her pottery class, carved her name into a heart and everything. Even said the heart was mine.. It was so fucking cute… her… not the mug. The mug was ugly as fuck. She did her best.

Joel came for family day today and met her. He told me she was cute but a little fucking weird, just like me. What an asshole. I counted the amount of times she made him laugh. It was 24. 24 times in 2 hours. Joel Miller has never laughed that much in his entire life. But the fact that he likes her so much makes my heart warm. I don’t even mind that he might like her more than me.

She had been begging to hang out with my friends so Dina and Jesse and us went on a double date. Her and Dina act like they know each other. They were all giggly. It was gross. Jesse even seems to like her. He gave her the last bread in the basket. JESSE! Jesse did that. It seems small but that’s like something he never does. I’m starting to believe this girl is a witch… I’m starting to believe I’m in love with her.

I’ve been writing her a song on the guitar. She saw the guitar in my room one time and called me “her little rockstar”... what a fucking nerd. She asked me to play for her but I got nervous… that has never happened before… What are you doing to me????

Ellie was smitten. Ellie was so smitten that she almost forgot about Cat. Almost. Because at this very moment Cat was charging towards her as she sat on the grass with her journal in her hands.

“Hey.” Cat sighed, sitting down next to Ellie.

“What do you want, Cat?” Ellie grunted out, moving over so she wasn’t sat so close to her. 

“You never came by.” She sounded genuinely sad, so much so that it threw Ellie off. 

“I got busy.” Ellie wanted this to be over so badly.

“With my ex? If you two are playing the long game it isn’t going to work. I don’t care.” Cat replied, anger almost evident in your voice. 

“How is my relationship about you?” This time Ellie turned towards Cat, closing the journal in your hands.

“It’s obvious what you guys are doing. This little act to make me upset, yeah, it’s not working. You’re both my exes for a reason” She spat.

“Not everything is about you. She doesn’t even know I’m your ex, you have never come up in our conversations.” Ellie was getting annoyed, but instead Cat just laughed, something sinister filling her eyes.

“Oh, you don’t know?” Cat snorted.

“Know what?” Ellie questioned, trying to keep the anger in her voice to a minimum. 

“She hated you, Ellie. Thought you were the one I left her for. Technically she was right, but she called me to curse me out about it. Showed me the birthday post I made you with literal tears in her eyes.” 

And if Ellie’s heart was broken by Cat, it was absolutely shattered by you.

ai audios:

i've reached my daily limit for audios (tumblr hates happy people) so i have attached them as links this time.. cause i did not work so hard on them for them not to be posted.

oh i just wanted to talk about yesterday

i just i think when i met you it scared me

they're good fingers, right?

[elorawrites]

1-800-GIRLS

modern!ellie x sex-hotline-operator!reader, very small mention of dealer!ellie

summary: where ellie dials the wrong number and meets you instead.

warnings: contains smut! minors, those under 18, do not interact/read this fanfic. 18+ only. top/dom!ellie, bottom/sub!reader, mentions spitplay/breathplay/overstimulation, mentions sexual interactions with men, dirty talking, guided masturbation (r!recieving), use of fem nicknames (babygirl, sweet girl, pretty girl, pup, puppy) let me know if i missed anything else pls.

a/n: i feel like this kinda sucked bc towards the end i kinda rushed it, but i couldn't shake this idea n knew i had to write it. hope u like it bbs<3 also thank u to my bestie @elskittie for helping me figure some things out w this fic

word count: 4,463

phone call style story — reader is in italics, ellie is in bold.

monday, 12:45am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)

thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you, hot stuff?

uhh.. i just wanted to order a pepperoni pizza..

oh yeah? you want something hot and ready? i have something hot and ready for you.

ummm..

you hear some shuffling in the background, "jess! i think you gave me the wrong number!" the person comes back on the line again.

this isn't papa tony's cheesy pizza place?

....do you want me to roleplay as papa tony's cheesy pizza place?

woah woah woah! roleplay?? who the fuck am i on the phone with?

this is sugar from 1-800-GIRLS.....a sex hotline...for you know? phone sex.

PHONE SEX?? you hear the girl's voice yell in the background, "jesse! you ass! you gave me the number to a phone sex hotline!"

"does she sound hot?"

"well yeah, but—"

hey, you do know it's $1 a minute right? you've been on the line for almost 5 minutes, babe.

HUHH?? hell no..ok thanks sugar bear, or whatever. bye!

the line clicks off, and you shrug. sitting back in your bed to continue watching your favorite netflix show. you feel your work phone vibrate again, the name flashing 'bobby', a regular who frequents the hotline.

sighing and picking up your phone and holding it to your ear, you take a bite from your sandwich as you answer your 15th call this evening, "thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you, big boy?"

tuesday, 2:12am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)

thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you tonight, cutie?

hey....sugar.. i just- er- wanted to apologize for yesterday. my buddy got your number confused with a pizza place we really wanted to try. didn't mean to sound rude last night.

it's no issue, babe. don't sweat about it.

.......

.......

soooo.... is that the only reason why you called?

ellie didn't want to admit that she was attracted to 'sugar's' voice and that she'd been thinking about it all day during class. but also, ellie was high as a fucking kite, which gave her the courage to even dial the number again anyways.

i— uh— well— how does this whole thing work?

what thing? the hotline?

yeah..

well, you call me, we have phone sex or talk or whatever, and then you hang up. again, it's a dollar a minute.

okay, okay, i get it. so we can just talk? about anything?

yeah, if you want to.

sick.

ellie takes another drag from her joint, before speaking again.

so, do you like doing this? being an operator or whatever?

you let out a laugh, which ellie caught.

specify what you mean by 'like'?

i mean— this is your job. do you enjoy doing it?

ehh...i guess.

c'mon. you can be honest with me.

well, being a sex hotline operator has it's downsides. obviously helping old men jack off gets a little weird sometimes — they have some unusual fetishes.

oh yeah? what's been the weirdest one so far?

uhhh..i have this one regular who has me pretend i'm a ghost. apparently, having sex with ghosts is a real turn on for him.

what the fuck. seriously?

mhm, it's true.

shit, dude....i don't think i could ever do what you do. i dunno how you can do it.

well when you have college tuition and rent to worry about, the downsides don't seem all that bad.

holy shit, you're in college? how old are you anyways?

19.

that's crazy. we're around the same age. i figured you were a bit older.

how 'bout you? how old are you?

21.

not bad not bad. you're way different from the clients i usually get.

yeah? how?

considering my usual clients are 40 to 60 year old men who are married with kids and have secret fetishes, i'd say you're out of my ballpark.

ellie laughs.

how do you know i'm not secretly an old, 57 year old man who's married to my wife janet with three kids? and i have a balloon fetish?

you let out a giggle, adjusting your sleep shorts as you lay back down on your bed, completely invested in your conversation with this girl.

well, how can i appease your balloon fantasies?

i'm just fuckin' with ya. definitely not a man and i have the more normal kinks and fetishes.

is that so? what are the 'normal' kinks and fetishes?

uhhhh....well i'm into bondage, i love tying girls up..i dunno, just seeing them open and vulnerable does something to me. i'm into breathplay, spitplay, overstimulation, and i'm definitely a dominant so—

all you could do was gape as the girl went on her tangent, listing off every kink she could think of. you gulped, suddenly getting a bit nervous from this topic of conversation. you were experienced in the field of phone sex, but actual sex was a totally different world you had no practice in.

so, how 'bout you sugar?

...uhhh....i'm a virgin actually.

the other girl went silent on the other side of the line.

what? but you work as a sex hotline operator.

oh yeah- but— hold on, i'm getting another call. i'll speak to you some other time.

you hung up and threw your work phone across your bed, laying your head down on your pillows. talking to men was so much easier for you, so why do you get all caught up when you talk to a girl?

it was nearly 3:30am, so you decided to turn in and call it a night, mentally preparing yourself for a busy day tomorrow.

wednesday, 11:45am

sitting next to professor adams, patiently waiting for the students to turn in their quizzes, you try to focus on the text of your 'philosophy 101' book.

you were grateful that professor adams gave you the opportunity to be his teacher's assistant for a little bit of extra cash, and you weren't complaining either. the tasks he gave you were easy for a mere $16 an hour. still, it wasn't enough to support all of your bills, so you couldn't drop the hotline gig.

"and time! everyone hand your quizzes in to my TA, regardless if you finished or not," professor announced. all the students shuffled towards the front, handing you their quizzes as you neatly put them in a small pile.

"ah shit— let me put the date on that," a girl, with a very familiar voice spoke. looking up, you're greeted with the most attractive girl you've seen in your life. she had brunette hair and green eyes, with a small scar on her right brow. was this..? no, it couldn't be. that would be insane.

handing you the paper, her hand brushes against yours. you look down at her quiz, seeing in messy, scribbled black ink the name ellie williams.

slinging her backpack on one arm, she heads out the door, "jesse! wait up for me!"

leaving you in a daze, you were completely speechless by the idea that one of your new, favorite clients from your nighttime job is actually a student at your university.

saturday, 1:45am → 1:14:34 ongoing call with 401-890-6798 (cranston, RI)

thanks, sugar. will be calling you again at the same time next week.

no problem, sir. goodnight. dream of me.

sure will, babygirl.

the line clicks as the older man hangs up, and you shudder a bit, feeling uncomfortable after having to roleplay as a ghost, again.

sighing heavily, you place your work phone on your desk and pick up your real phone, opening instagram and scrolling on your feed as you mindlessly snack on some gummy bears.

you double tap to like some of your friends pictures, wishing you were out at a party, drinking some lukewarm beer and dancing with your girls to the latest tiktok hits.

but instead you were cooped up in your apartment, dirty talking old men through their fantasies and bearing witness to their guttural groans and masturbation. it was a shame that friday and saturday nights were your busiest evenings.

taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you ponder for a moment, your finger hovering over the instagram search bar.

fuck it, you thought, typing 'ellie williams' and hitting search.

the username @_elliewilliams pops up, and bingo. it was the same girl from professor adams class.

luckily her profile was public, so you take your time carefully combing through her instagram account, mindful not to accidentally like her posts or anything.

ellie's feed consisted of smoking weed, eating out, and hanging with her friends, jesse and dina. there were only two selfies she had posted — one of her and an older gentleman and one mirror picture of her in a grey hoodie and a light brown canvas jacket that made her look so good.

the ringing from your work phone caught you off guard, causing you to jump in your chair and exit out of the instagram app. you take a look at the number, and speak of the devil, it was ellie herself. she was the only jackson number that ever contacted you.

saturday, 2:10am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)

thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, sugar speaking. what can i do for you, handsome?

hey, sugar. just wanted to apologize for how our last conversation went. i probably pushed a boundary or something— i'm not sure if you're supposed to talk about personal things with customers— so, i'm sorry.

you let out a soft laugh.

why is it when you call me, you're always apologizing?

'cause i'm a fuck up, that's why.

nooo, that's not true. besides, don't worry about it. your question just caught me off guard, you know? never had clients ask things about me before i guess.

ahh, gotcha. so...were you busy before i called?

you shake your head, even though she was on the phone and couldn't see you.

uh, not really. my line doesn't usually get busy until...12 midnight ish.. it slows down by like 2 am though. how about you? what are you up to this friday night?

i just got back home from a party. business was slow and it was getting boring, so i dipped.

business? what business?

ah— well—

ellie silently cursed to herself, not wanting to scare you away with her current occupation.

if i tell you what i do, promise you won't get freaked out or anything?

you're talking to a phone sex hotline operator. don't worry.

you can hear her laugh from the other end.

well, fuck it, cat's out of the bag. i deal weed on campus and shit.

ahhh. i like that. is that how you can afford the minutes you spend calling me?

yup. i can stay on the phone for hours if we wanted.

maybe you'll be my only customer.

i wouldn't complain.

speaking of customers, do you want me to save your number under a specific name or nickname or anything? since i'm assuming you're gonna be a regular?

trying to confirm if it was indeed ellie you were speaking with, you sat on the edge of your chair, anxiety building in your belly.

what nicknames do your clients usually pick?

uhhh. master, sir, king, mister, alpha— umm and daddy.

something stirred inside ellie hearing that last nickname roll off your tongue.

you could just put me down as ellie.

got it.

what do i call you? do i just keep calling you sugar?

well, you're a customer. you can call me anything you like, but, for formalities and privacy, i can only tell you my hotline nickname — sugar.

okay, okay, that makes sense. you're not really allowed to have any personal or close relationships with clients, huh?

no, not really. mostly for safety purposes.

ellie was a little disappointed to know that she wouldn't be able to get to know the girl she was talking to beyond calling on the phone. she already felt herself getting attached. your voice was alluring and enticing, and she couldn't help but want to hear it more, and possibly put a name and face to who it belonged to.

but, i could bend the rules a little if i really wanted to.

yeah? let's see about that.

saturday, 4:45 am → 2:43:03 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)

oh my god! did you and your ex get caught??

you were enamored with ellie. the way she could keep a conversation going and the stories she told — you didn't wanna hang up.

no, no, no, luckily we hid behind a dumpsters before the cops could catch us. it's hilarious thinking about it now, but we were dumbass 18-year-olds back then.

you both were in fits of laughter, your belly aching and tears watering in the corners of your eye.

as you calmed down, you couldn't stop your mouth from asking a question that's been racking on your mind.

so, how long were you and your ex together?

uhhhh, about 2 years.

ohhh okay........are you seeing anyone right now?

ellie lets out a laugh, and you can hear her smile, even through the phone.

why? who's asking?

well, i was just— uhh—

i'm just fuckin' with you. nah, i'm not seein' anyone right now. single af.

okay, okay. good to know.

how 'bout you?

nope. i'm single too.

seriously?? how?

i dunno. just never found the right person i guess. also, working for this hotline has made me lose hope for relationships in general, some of these dudes call me and say all this stuff — while having a whole wife and family at home.

i think you're looking in the wrong place then. try talking to people at school or going out to parties—

can't. if i'm not doing homework or studying, i'm working and doing this. i gotta make a living somehow.

ellie couldn't help but feel bad, knowing if she could, she'd support you full time and take that weight off your shoulders.

hmm, maybe you'll meet someone who could support you and take care of your bills and stuff.

oh? where would i find that? sounds too good to be true.

maybe they're closer to you than you think.

your breath hitched in your throat, unsure of what to say next.

i— uh— i have to go. it's 5am.

oh— uh— yeah. of course. goodnight, sugar.

goodnight, ellie.

sunday, 11:37pm → incoming call from ellie (jackson, WY)

hey.

hey. where's your usual greeting?

you're not a usual customer, so i think we're past that now, ellie.

ellie's heart thumped in her chest hearing you say her name.

good. anyways, what are you up to tonight?

just studying for a quiz tomorrow morning. how about you?

smoking, just finished some homework.

what class was it for?

uhhh, just this calculus class.

you clamped your mouth shut, suppressing a gasp. it was for professor adams class.

....uhhh, i could never get calculus. it's so hard.

yeah? maybe one night i can tutor you.

i'd be a terrible student.

i think you'd be the perfect student. i can teach you, i got you.

you couldn't help but think there was another meaning behind her words, but you didn't want to jump to any conclusions. it would be embarrassing if you got her message all wrong.

what's your quiz on anyways?

energy transfer between cells, it's for biology.

i know a thing or two about that. here— why don't we do this, just explain to me what you know and we'll go from there.

okay, i can do that.

you and ellie spent the next two and a half hours talking about cell function and energy transfer and everything else in between, with her correcting you and adding in important things you missed.

alright, sugar, i think you're ready for this quiz tomorrow.

you think so?

i know so. you're such a smart girl.

there she goes again, praising you.

uh, th-thanks.

don't worry, okay? i know you'll do great.

a smile curls on your lips, flustered from all her support.

you should get some sleep, so you can be focused and ready for tomorrow.

m'kay. thank you, ellie, for all your help.

of course. always. goodnight, sugar.

goodnight, ellie.

monday, 5:32pm → 45:21 ongoing call with mister j (corpus christi, TX)

yeah, babe? you want me to fuck your tight ass?

mhm, yes mister.

c'mon. beg, sugar.

please. fuck my tight hole, mister j.

ah, hell.

you can hear his belt buckle clanging, and the soft buzz of a zipper.

what's wrong with 'ya tonight, sugar? you're bein' a real buzzkill, 'ya know that? fuckin' turnin' me off and makin' me soft.

i-i'm sorry, mister j. please, jus—

yea, yea, save it. we'll jus' try 'gain tomorrow.

the line clicks on the other end. tossing your work phone on your desk, you fall back on your bed and stuff your face in your pillow. weeping into the plush material, you let yourself fall apart and break down.

but your sobbing session is cut short as you can hear the familiar ring of your work phone.

wiping your tears, you walk over to your desk and answer.

monday, 5:45pm → 00:32 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)

thanks for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's suga-

woah, woah, woah are you crying?

e-ellie?

yeah, baby, it's me. sounds like you're crying. what's going on? talk to me.

today was just a really, really bad day and then i opened my hotline a little early and one of my first clients just lashed out on me because i wasn't responding the way he wanted me to and—

you sniffle.

— and i'm just really stressed out by everything going on in my life right now.

i'm sorry. i wish there was something i could do— someway i could comfort you or take the weight off.

i-it's fine, ellie. talking to you is making it a little better.

ellie was silent for a moment, thinking carefully and planning her next moves accordingly.

do you trust me?

....y-yea, of c-course. why?

i'm gonna help you ease the tension. okay?

okay.

first of all, where are you?

i-in my room, sitting at my desk.

okay. go lay down on your bed.

with your phone pressed to your ear, you pick up your legs and stride over to your bed, laying down on the fluffy, material of your blanket.

okay, i'm on my bed.

good. what are you wearing?

foreseeing the direction this phone call was heading in, apprehension builds in your stomach.

ellie, you really don't have to-

hey, i want to help you. if that's okay with you. if not, we could talk about something instead.

biting your lip, you fold.

i-i'm okay with it, but i-i've never— played with myself with a customer before. i don't really do anything with myself even when i'm not working anyways.

that's okay. don't think of me as a customer, think of me as a...teacher. i got you, remember?

okay.

good girl. now, what are you wearing?

uh.. a tank top and shorts.

cute. take them off.

gulping, you follow her orders, shimmying out of your top and shorts.

done?

mhm.

good. so obedient.

i want you to rub your boobs for me. rub your nipples, pull on them, just feel the skin under your hand for me, baby.

rubbing the soft skin along your breast, and tugging on your hardened nipples, you bite your lip, savoring the way your body feels under your touch.

how does it feel?

feels good.

bet it does.

ellie couldn't stop her mind from imagining you, on your bed, perfectly naked. and how she'd give everything up, just to sneak a peek.

now, i want you to just rub your hands against the sensitive parts of your body. be slow and gentle, we're not rushing anything.

as your hands drift from your neck, down to the hills of your breasts, and to the edge of your panties, ellie speaks through the line again.

doesn't it feel nice, baby?

mhm.

wish i could be there, to watch you, touching your pussy.

you instinctively clamp your thighs, feeling heat rush to your core.

alright, take your panties off. slowly.

you slowly peel the piece of material off, looking at the small, wet spot that formulated on your underwear.

okay, they're off.

such a good girl, following my every command.

you gulp, her nickname for you sending shivers up your spine.

slowly feel the skin on your legs. stroke your inner thighs, tease yourself a little.

hanging off on her every word, you let out a shaky breath, the heat in your cunt growing only bigger and bigger.

god, i wish i can be there to see this right now. bet you look so good, thighs spread apart, pussy all wet— all because of me.

i- i'm aching. i need more, ellie.

i know, baby, i know. i wish i can help you more. if it were up to me, i'd have you bent over your desk, taking you from the back. fuck.

your mind drifts to that image, of her fucking you, taking you as hers. a stream of your slick begins to leak out from your pussy. god, you wanted her so bad.

slide a finger between your pussy, baby. let me hear how wet you are.

spreading your thighs apart, the tip of your fingers slips in between the folds of your pussy lips, the slick sound of your wetness echoing throughout the room. loud enough for ellie to hear.

fuuuuuck.

i-

you tried to speak, but it comes out sounding like a pathetic whimper. ellie's brain was going insane, she couldn't believe where she had you, writhing from her mere words.

go ahead, pretty girl. rub slow circles on your clit.

the pads of your pointer and middle finger gently rub steady, figure 8's against your hardened nub. closing your eyes, you imagined ellie, and how it was her hand instead of yours. the thought had you panting, faint breaths releasing from your parted lips.

your pussy sounds so wet, holy shit. you sound so fucking good for me. so fucking perfect.

as your fingers continue massaging on your sopping, wet clit, a pool of wetness gathers right below your ass.

how does it feel, baby?

f-feels amazing, ellie.

you let out a low whimper.

i wish you were here.

me too, pup. me too.

you can hear her heavy breaths from the other end of the phone.

i wish i could be there, kissing your neck. trailing my lips down to suck on your nipples. fuuck, wanna taste every inch of your skin. i wanna feel your pussy tighten around my fingers.

you let out another pitiful moan, only to hear ellie curse under her breath again.

rub your pussy faster for me, angel. imagine it's me, pumping my fingers in and out. would daddy's pretty girl like that?

you couldn't respond. all you could let out was these weak whines, yearning for ellie and her touch. you added a third finger, building onto the pressure and picking up the speed.

your moans sound so pretty. wonder how'd they sound when you're taking my strap. gonna have you cry out my name, yeah? isn't that right?

mhm, yes, daddy.

good. that's what daddy likes to hear, such a polite girl.

with your eyes rolling back, you could feel your orgasm building.

i-i'm gonna— ellie, i—

you gonna cum for me, puppy? huh? c'mon, rub faster, baby. i know you have a little bit more left in you.

your fingers speed up, the sound of your wetness gushing out reverberated in ellie's ear.

oh my god, daddy can i? please? can i—

arching your back, you knew you were close. the feeling was getting to be too much and you were about to fall over the edge.

look at my baby, so respectful and asking permission. come on, pretty puppy. cum for daddy. let daddy hear how good she made you feel.

that was it. letting out a penetrating moan, you rode your orgasm out and finished all over your fingers, making a mess. you were heaving, chest rapidly rising and falling.

god, i made a mess.

oh, yeah? do one more thing for me. suck your fingers clean. puppies clean up their messes.

monday, 8:57pm → 3:01:32 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)

after your little self-care session with ellie, she took it upon herself to get your mind off of today's events, filling your conversation with stories and interesting topics.

oh, forgot to ask, what'd you end up getting on that biology quiz?

ughhh, i got a 65 out of 100. one of the reasons why i was so upset today.

seriously? how?

i don't know! i asked professor gonzalez and she told me that i was focusing on the wrong thi-

wait, did you just say professor gonzalez? holy shit, you're taking biology 201 with professor g? do you fucking go to school at university of wyoming? in jackson?

oh shit, you didn't mean for that to slip out.

i— uh— i have to go—

wait! sugar! please. hear me out.

you stay silent, waiting for what she had to say.

if we really do go to the same campus, please, let's meet up. i really want to see you.

.....why?

i just— i love talking to you. spending hours with you on the phone is what i look forward to when i get home. besides, i really want to take you out, on a date.

you bit your lip, unsure of what to say.

listen, if you want to see me too, meet me at the library in building B, by the comic book section. okay? tomorrow at 1pm.

....

i really hope you come.

the line clicks off, and you spend the rest of the night restless, tossing and turning, debating whether or not to see her tomorrow.

tuesday, 2:50pm

ellie eagerly checked her phone again, bouncing her knee in distress. her mind was running rampant — fuck, she's not gonna come. maybe jesse was right. maybe i was wasting my time.

looking up for the 80th time, she scans the comic book section, seeing no one else but some dude with his face buried in a wonder woman comic.

as ellie gets up from her chair, she turns her head, and she freezes.

there you were, looking like an angel who entered from the garden of eden. ellie's heart sped up, seeing her girl standing before her. you were everything she could've imagined and better.

walking slowly towards the brunette, you brush a piece of hair from your face, and smile meekly.

"hi ellie, it's me."

pls let me know how this fic was, i tried out a new writing style <3

[elorawrites]

Elora amor i miss you

LOMLOMLOMLOML hiiiii i miss you most

[elorawrites]

THISSSS!!!!!! THISTHISTHIS 😵‍💫

don’t you dare fall in love. | 2

pairing. dealer college student! ellie williams x f! reader

PART ONE. MASTERLIST.  synopsis. ellie tries her hardest not to mix business with pleasure. or, ellie gets a new customer and unfortunately falls in love with her.

warnings. 18+. drug dealing, panic attack, death references (light), creepy men (light), – sexually explicit descriptions, dry humping, sleepy sex.

an. well. this happened quickly. thanks for all the love on part one. please comment & reblog<3 if this is being laggy, go to settings and smash the cache.

Keep reading

[elorawrites]

ꗃ thinking abt ellie williams, and how dating her would be. ¸ ❞

she’d never admit to it . . . but she is clingy as fuck!! the only way i can rly describe it is tactile . . . kisses you all the time (holds your face tenderly afterwards, rubbing circles on your cheeks while she smiles at you), her head lives in the crook of your neck istg, kisses your tears away, her hands are forever interlocked with yours, will stand behind you and rest her chin on your shoulder, uses you as personal pillow and will lay on your (lap, stomach, ass), has fallen asleep on you too many times to count. 

can’t sleep without you . . . so if you aren’t already in bed by the time she goes to sleep she will drag you away from anything you’re doing to bring you to bed + if you wake up before (which you do like 60% of the time) she will not let you go until she’s awake (literally has a death grip). whines like a baby if you stop cuddling her

hates arguing with you . . . obviously it’s gonna happen like it does in any healthy relationship but she will avoid it at all costs. kisses you and apologizes at the end over every minor dispute.

makes you wear her flannels/hoodies/jackets. “i don’t want you to get sick” is her excuse but she just loves seeing you in her clothes (+ she does want you to stay healthy and warm)

CASUAL INTIMACY IS HER THINGG 😩 showers/bathes with you any chance she gets (defo gets offended if you shower without her). one time she wasn’t home yet so you just showered without her and when you left the bathroom, she was sitting on the couch looking at you like: ⤵

if your hands get cold, she’ll let you put them under her shirt cause she is a walking furnace

not to sound creepy or anything . . . but she is always staring at you 😭 it’s like as soon as she knows you’re in a room with her everything else goes away. when you first started dating, she’d get embarrassed if you caught her, but after a while of being together all her shame goes away. you’d be all “stop staring, it's creepy.” and she’d laugh and shake her head. “i’m admiring and how could i not admire such a beautiful girl like you?”

loves your voice ! hearing you say her name makes her so giddy 😭

gets jealous so easily but she’d never admit to it ;; because you’re the object of her every affection and to her you are absolutely perfect, she thinks everyone else will think the same. 

ellie’s a little insecure :/ craves your reassurance because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for you and doesn’t understand why you’re with her

draws you like it’s all her hands know how to draw 🤭 all her songs are about you (she’s actually so romantic and poetic too it’s so painfully gay omgg) 

loves it when you wash/style her hair. lets you do whatever you want to do with it since she trusts you to do something she’ll like

hair scratches are her weakness 😩 after long days she’ll come to you all sheepish and fiddling with her hands “can you like…play with my hair? please?”

[elorawrites]

A FOOL'S GAME | PT II

/ part i /

summary: ellie can't let you go. you meet again, nursing hopes of one day loving each other the way you used to. warnings: language, heartbreak/making up, more angst word count: 2.4k credits: divider, gif (cant find!), proofreaders (edie, saz) ♡ taglist: @kaorussgf @just-consume-it @elliesquerida @dyk3ification a/n: written w/self control by frank ocean (ellie)/ i want you by mitski (r) in mind

"Shit," she huffed as her eyes flew open, her heart hammering out of her chest. Ellie had been grasping at her sheets, helplessly reaching for you.  "Y/N?"

But you were never there.

It wasn't a nightmare about Joel this time. Or about Dina. It was about you. You were so close in her dream. Your lips, your skin, your voice. She had to savor it. It almost felt fucking real. But to Ellie’s disappointment, it never was. It was just another sleepless night, after you stormed out all those months ago. And it made her fucking sick to her stomach. What had it been, the fourth time? The fifth night in a row this month? She'd wake up so often in the night, praying somehow you'd be there, that she lost count.

A quiet guilt was eating her alive, the shame festering like roaches in her veins. Her nights were consumed with war, and she knelt to her defeat every time. She was no noble soldier; she surrendered herself to a punishment she felt that she deserved. Ellie chewed on the same, painful mistakes and memories until her jaw ached. And when she was done, she’d chew on them again. Watching Joel take his last breaths, ignoring Dina as she begged her to stay…and letting you, the only person she had left, walk away. She’d lay in bed and stare at the paneled ceiling as her mind carried her away, sometimes wondering if she was even really there.

After the dismal realization that you weren’t laying beside her, she shot up and threw her covers off, a rotten feeling seeping into the pit of her stomach. Was there a way to have kept you from leaving? Was there a way to keep herself from imploding? No. Nothing would’ve made you stay and Ellie knew it. You hadn’t spoken to her in months, there was no hope. Was there really much left unsaid? Ellie pushed herself off of her bed and donned her sweats, boots, and winter coat anyway.

The morning wind tossed around strands of her auburn hair as she stepped out into the biting cold. Little puffs of visible breath left her lips as she made her way to you, the snow crunching underneath her and her mind absolutely blank.

She didn't show face around Jackson anymore unless it was to eat or fulfill her duties. Even then, Maria knew well enough to not pair you both up for anything anymore. Apparently, the screaming from inside Ellie's house wasn't as contained as you both thought it was that night.

"Y'all are explosive and it ain't healthy. Leave that girl alone."

Ellie could already hear Maria's grating voice and southern drawl warning her to stay away from you, warning her to stop sneaking glances of you on stables or leaving for patrol on your horse. But that was the only way she could love you - from a distance. God knows it was half-way impossible to get you alone. You avoided her like the fuckin' plague, ironically enough. And the worst part was that she just couldn't blame you. She knew how badly she fucked up.

At some point, Ellie had gotten Maria to ease up to arrange an early morning patrol for the two of you. But aside from the "all clear"s and "infected on your 3"s, the trip was silent and cordial. You made sure to never make eye contact, lest you crumble under the overwhelming urge to ask her how she was. It seemed like every time Ellie mustered the courage to say something, her breath left her as she watched the moment slip through her fingers. She hated herself for it. So much so, that the dreams had gotten worse.

Not far along the dimly lit path, there was your door. She stepped up on your porch to knock before quickly tucking her pink and frozen hands into her jacket pockets. Only a few moments later, a warm glow flickered on through the windows. The door flew open with a balmy wave of heat that hit Ellie where she stood. There you were. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and catching your breath as the bitter winter wind hit you through the door left ajar.

Your freckle-faced girl stood before you, rings around her eyes and her hair, a bedheaded half-updo.

A subtle panic rushed across your expression and you suddenly didn’t know what to do with your hands. Your legs felt like beams of lead, gluing you to that spot on the wooden floor. And you ached to throw your arms around her. To hold her, to curse her out, to confess that your door had always been open. That you’d secretly always made sure her side of the bed was ready to be laid in.

She looked like she hadn't slept in days. If she hadn’t been sleeping well, she probably wasn’t eating well either. You could feel the guilt begin to eat at you. The shame pricked sweat along your neck and under your arms.  Maybe you should’ve never left. It was clear now, she always needed you. And you weren’t there.

But you remained frozen, the yellow light glowing around your silhouette, almost angelically.  "What are you doing here?" you hoarsely asked, furrowing your eyebrows and hopelessly trying to mask the shock that paralyzed you moments ago. “It’s 3am, Ellie."

For Ellie, there was something surreal about finally hearing your voice again. She’d wake up from dreams, aching for it to have been real. For you to have called her name.  Even if it was to curse her out again. She needed to keep this conversation going, even if to hear your voice for a little while.

"Sorry. I know it's late," Ellie muttered, avoiding the shock in your eyes. Something about catching your gaze made her feel transparent, naked. Almost like you could always see right through her. "There was so much I wanted to say when I saw you on patrol. But I never got to."

 Something sour jumped in your chest. You felt needed, wanted. Ellie was coming to you to open up, like she used to. Maybe this time she wouldn’t let you down. And could almost feel the world crumbling around you again. Part of you didn't want to see her again and she knew it. You couldn’t look at her without being reminded of what she had said to you. The things she had done in the bed you shared. As much as you fucking loved her.

"What else is there left to say?" you asked wistfully, pained by the hope that rose in your heart despite the harsh memory of her betrayal. You shook your head at her, as you warred against your thoughts. Were you willing to go through with this? All over again?

"There’s so much I need to explain," Ellie swallowed her pride, and finally caught your eyes, sending a shock through her spine. "I just couldn't get you alone, and I needed to-"

"You needed to what, El? There’s nothing left to explain. It’s done," you firmly reminded her. You might have sounded confident, but you had never felt more unsure in your life. Maybe this time could be different? Maybe Ellie had figured some things out while you had been apart? 

Ellie's ears burned up in the stinging cold, a pathetic, hopeless feeling filling her chest as you spoke. You spoke with finality, and it crushed her. In the months you had been apart, she had hoped this entire time that you had still been nursing your soft spot for her somehow. And she was right, you were. But you’d never embarrass yourself by foolishly wearing your heart so openly on your sleeve again.

You looked at her intently, waiting for her to say something else. Hoping, even. Maybe things had finally changed.

No dice. She looked back at you, speechless. 

Maybe it really was done, like you said. But Ellie had always championed the art of drawing you back in, just to push you away, so you began to wonder why you had ever expected anything more. You walked away before, and you weren’t afraid to do it again. So you picked up your legs, no longer feeling like lead, and turned to walk back into the comforting heat of your home. But before you could fully turn, you felt Ellie’s freezing cold hand find its way to your skin. 

"Please just hear me out? Please," she finally asked, catching your hand and gently tugging you back toward her. She had spent the last few months hating herself for letting you walk away. She couldn’t bring herself to watch you leave again.

God, you hadn't felt her touch for months. You might have hated her for what she did, but you couldn't deny how good it felt to have her fingertips graze your skin again.

You toyed with the idea in your mind. You'd hear her out and she'd get her word in. You'd get the closure and sincere apology you need and she'd learn from her mistakes. And then what? You'd be friends? Maybe strangers. But you were shit at convincing yourself that you’d be okay with never truly knowing her again. So you relented. One last time.

"Listen, I care about you. I do. I worry my ass off about you, even after what you did. But we can’t keep doing this. It fuckin’ hurts, Ellie," you uttered, your tough facade faltering. You stepped back from the threshold to allow her in. “So this is it.”

Ellie trailed inside, nervously wringing her cold hands as you closed the door behind her. As much as she had done you wrong, an urge to tell her to make herself comfortable bubbled up. But instead of asking her if she was hungry, you remained in an unfamiliar silence as you walked over to sit on your couch. Had you two already become strangers? No, you knew her too well. You had a feeling that you knew all the things she’d say and how the conversation would go. It was just a matter of getting it over with.

You patiently watched as Ellie unzipped and hung her winter jacket on the same hook she always used to. Second from the right. 

“Do you mind if I sit?”

Yes, of course she could. But you shrugged indifferently. You were sure it’d be a matter of time before all of this developed into an argument anyway. She wouldn’t be sitting for long.

She came over to your sofa and took the seat closest to you, leaving only a few inches of space between your criss-crossed legs and the side of her baggy hoodie. It seemed like she was looking everywhere but you again, while her hands fiddled with the fraying seams of your favorite grey sweater of hers. 

You quietly waited for her to speak, the silence beginning to make you anxious. She looked like she’d been working up the nerve to say something important, but you lowered your expectations. 

“You were my best friend, Y/N,” she said softly, slowly nodding as the inner corner of her eyebrows turned up. “You were my best friend, and I loved you. I still love you.”

And you loved her too. It felt so sweet to know. It was a familiar, warm feeling, too inviting if you weren’t careful. You never did stop loving her. And that had been the worst pain you had carried since walking out that night. 

You followed her wistful gaze to the dusty stack of DVDs against the dark wood of the coffee table. Those were movies you promised each other you’d watch together, but never got the chance to. You refused to touch them since. Strange how life works.

“That doesn’t change anything, Ellie,” you gently protested, shifting your eyes from the DVDs to Ellie’s distant gaze. You resisted the strongest urge to take her fidgety fingers and interlock them with yours. To tell her that it was okay. And that if she loved you hard enough maybe you’d be able to forget the past. You nearly gave in, almost hushing the nagging feeling that always asked you why you felt the need to comfort those who have hurt you.

“It doesn’t,” she somberly replied. She shook her head with a half-frown tight on her lips. “But that shit doesn’t just go away. And I want to fix this. I need to.”

She looked toward you, her eyes fixed on yours. Pleading with you.

“Then tell me what to do, El. Tell me. Cause I gave up a long time ago,” you admitted, your expression melancholy, little lines appearing between your eyebrows. “I used to try so fuckin’ hard. I don’t think I have anything left to give anymore.”

“Look, I want you to be happy, Y/N,” Ellie responded, running a hand along her thigh as her knee began to bounce anxiously. “And I’ve been trying so hard to be the person that wishes you well even if it's not with me. But the truth is that I’m not. I don’t think I’ll ever be. I will never be okay seeing you happy with someone else. And maybe considering what I did, that makes me selfish. I dunno anymore, I just…”

Her eyes ran over your features before she turned away. This time, while absentmindedly peering at the foggy window, her hand came up to rub the back of her neck sheepishly.

Sure, she was selfish. But you were too. For what other reason did you let her back in? Why were you stoking her hopes of this ever getting better? To feel wanted by her again? Loved? You choked on the words stuck in your throat and could only let a defeated sigh escape from your lips.

“I have dreams about it. About you. And I can’t fucking sleep,” Ellie whispered dejectedly, her brows low and pinched together. She glanced down at her wringing hands before meeting your eyes again. “Just… please don’t fucking give up on me.” 

“What if I say yes? And we try again? And you haven’t changed? Am I supposed to wait for it all to fall apart again?” You asked earnestly.

“I wouldn’t let that happen again.”

“I get it. Sometimes, I hold out hope too. That we’d be endgame. That someday I’d forget how it felt to convince myself that it was supposed to be you,” you lamented.“God, you have no idea how bad I wanted it to be you."

[elorawrites]

A FOOL'S GAME

summary - an angsty drabble of fem reader leaving an emotionally troubled ellie warnings - angsty arguing, strong language, mentions of infidelity, sad feelings word count - 1.4k credits: divider credit, gif credit a/n: written with "a pearl" by mitski in mind. def listen on replay while reading!

"If you told me that this would be the way we'd end up..." you started. But your breath caught itself on the painful lump in your throat. You began to laugh in disbelief, mostly to shake off the urge to cry. "I would have never believed you."

She couldn't help but avert her gaze. So much so, that you secretly wondered if she felt she'd turn to stone if she met your eyes. Maybe in some way, she would. She was embarrassed. Cheeks pink, ears red, jaw clenched with tension. She leaned against her desk, arms crossed, frozen almost. Eyes glued to the floor.

"And here we are. You don't want to touch me... You can't even fucking look at me."

Despite your words, Ellie remained unmoved. You began to wonder if her silence meant that she actually felt guilty, or whether it was just indignation. You knew she had a bad habit of never admitting when she was wrong.

"I never meant to hurt you," Ellie broke the silence, embarrassment in her voice, with her eyes now stuck on her busted sneakers. "I wasn't thinking and I wish I-"

"You don't get to say that," you cut her off, nearly scolding her. Her green eyes finally flew up to meet yours, and your heart sank to your stomach. "You don't get to tell me you didn't mean to hurt me and go do what you did." "They were stupid, shitty mistakes, and I know that, and I'm sorry." Ellie rambled with pleading eyes, almost scrambling to find all the right words to make this go away. She pushed herself off the desk she was leaning on and walked toward you, a gentle hand out to hold your arm. "I don't want... I can't lose you."

A wave of dread washed over you. All you've wanted is for her to love you the way you've loved her. To want you the way you've wanted her. She used to tell you how terrified she was of losing you. But with Ellie looking at you the way she was, you couldn't help but wonder if she was only saying this now just to save her ass. You reluctantly swallowed the thought and let her have her word.

"There's a lot I don't talk about anymore and I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry things have been getting worse, and it's not that I don't want you, I just..."

"And you just what?" you scoffed, belittling Ellie's explanation. The disdain in your voice made Ellie furrow her eyebrows, hurt flashing on her features for a fleeting moment. You were almost sorry for saying anything. "All those nights staying up and laughing. You were able to sleep through the night and eat a full meal again. We used to talk about everything and nothing... what the fuck happened to us?"

Silence.

Ellie looked away and out the window at the gentle flurries of snow. She sighed deeply, chewing the inside of cheek with her eyebrows furrowed. She felt it. You were getting tired of her. All the shit she's put you through, and you had finally reached your breaking point. She knew you deserved better, but Ellie was a selfish girl in love. She would never able to tell you to leave - and mean it.

"I don't even feel real anymore."

You had always been almost convinced that if you loved her enough, the pink would return to her cheeks. That maybe, the butterflies she'd feel when her name fell from your lips would quiet the maggots eating her up inside. But even in between stolen kisses and nights spent together, she’d never spare the breath to tell you about the trouble you always knew was brewing beneath the surface. She assumed if she remained in blissful ignorance of her own feelings, it would eventually go away. No tears to be had and regretted.

But she made her own mistakes anyway. You almost didn't feel bad for her anymore.

"So you go out and do this? Instead of talking to me?" you shot back, wishing her the same sadness that sat in your chest and pooled in your eyes. You moved away from the gently placed hand on your arm, spurning any of her affection toward you. "Did it feel real when you fucked her? Was it that good? Just had to keep going back for more? Maybe I'll go fuck someone else, too. How 'bout an ex to make it even?"

Seeing your eyes become glossy and talk about sleeping with an ex stirred self-disgust in Ellie's gut. She felt backed into a corner, forced to see her own reflection. God, she felt pathetic for having put you through it all. But like clockwork, the accountability only went so far before she scornfully projected. Her eyes darkened, and she took a step back to sneer at you.

"You know what? Maybe you should. Cause this shit right here?" she fired back, gesturing to the both of you. "Maybe this was the biggest mistake I've ever fucking made."

The last words that left her mouth struck you breathless. That nasty lump rising higher in your throat stoked the nausea you felt at her words. You could tell that your silence made Ellie itch. The inner corners of your eyebrows were raised and a dejected smile spread across your lips.

"THIS? This was your biggest mistake?" you laughed through your tears incredulously. "I never know what's going on in your head, El. You'd tell me you love me and you don't want to lose me. Kiss me one day and refuse to touch me the next. Find you fucking someone else, and that this hadn't been the first time...and here I am, making more fuckin' excuses for you."

"Then stop making them!" Ellie threw her hands up and then let them down, slapping her thighs in exasperation."Jesus Christ, I said I was sorry! What the fuck else do you want me to say? I fucked up, I know!"

"You don't get it," you whispered bitterly while you shook your head gently, the tears running hot across your cheeks. "I fucking loved you, Ellie. I would've done anything for you... Who was there when Tommy couldn't even bring himself to look at you? When Dina promised you'd never see JJ again? The nights you couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat?"

"I didn't need your fucking help!" Ellie raised her voice over yours, the guilt eating away at her more quickly. "I never asked you to be there, I would've always been fine on my own. I never fucking needed you."

"...Got it." You nodded sarcastically, wiping the tears from your eyes and cheeks, snatching your backpack off of Ellie's couch. "All the hurt I put myself through to make sure you were okay? I guess that's my fault, huh?"

Ellie's heart quickened watching you grab your belongings to leave. But she stood there frozen and powerless, wanting to make it better but also wanting it all to be over. How did she manage to fuck this up so badly? She knew in the next minute or so, she'd have to watch you walk out of that door and never come back.

"You're so terrified of losing me, right?" You said whilst rummaging through a pocket of your backpack and pulling out a small black journal. It was a journal she'd given you full of just little sketches and doodles - some of you, some of you both together, some of silly things.

"Y/N. Don't. Please, let me just-"

You chucked the book at Ellie, who couldn't meet your eyes again but drew closer to you in an attempt to keep you from leaving. The book struck the side of her chest but like a brick wall, she remained there, shamefully gnawing the inside of her mouth, a strand of her auburn hair falling into her face. If you had stared at her long enough, you'd notice the tears she'd been trying to blink away.

"Fuck you, Ellie. You did this shit to yourself."

Her front door slammed behind you as you stormed out and stepped off her porch. The feeling of the frozen wind stinging your cheeks and rustling your hair was almost pleasant. Well, what now?

You said what you had to say. But the pit in your stomach only grew heavier, and you felt sick. Somehow you knew.

You knew that no matter how many times you leave, how many times she hurt you, you would always love her, like a fucking fool.

Maybe it was never truly better to have loved and lost. Maybe you would've been better off if you had never loved at all.

[elorawrites]

pretty girl | e. williams + d. woodward

pairing ; ellie williams x fem!reader x dina woodward

minors dni. smut, threesome, dom!dina, switch!ellie, sub!reader, oral (reader and dina receiving), strap-on use (reader receiving), hair pulling, a trip to paris (iykyk), reader is kinda shy but still sweet!!

wc ; 2.8k

mira talks ; here’s the ellie x reader x dina fic no one asked for!! and i officially write for dina now she’s so 💗💞��

ever since you arrived in jackson, ellie and dina found you alluring. you seemed so pure and good. you were usually seen helping in the gardens or cooking the community meals. you always greeted everyone with a warm smile.

every time they would see you, they would both admire and compliment you. well, dina did most of it. dina was just naturally more outgoing and flirty. when you and dina would talk, ellie would awkwardly stand a couple feet away and try to not make eye contact with you. it was so adorable, in your opinion.

at the moment, you were sitting in the dining hall eating breakfast. your best friend, maeve, sat beside you. she let out a sigh, making you turn to her with a confused expression. “they’re lookin’ at you again,” she said with a smirk. your head snapped around to see dina and ellie’s eyes already on you. you gave them a sweet smile and a wave. dina reciprocated your enthusiasm, winking back at you and waving. ellie just gave to a small smile.

“oh shit,” maeve exclaimed, glancing at the clock. “i’m late for patrol. jesse’s gonna kill me!” the girl quickly shot up out of her seat and started to run out of the building. you yelled after her, “bye! be safe!” “i will, don’t worry!” you shook your head softly and continued to eat your eggs.

after a couple minutes of eating by yourself, you heard the chair next to you being pulled out from under the table. you glanced up to see dina smiling at you and taking a seat.

“hi,” you said softly and put your chin on your hand. dina had a smirk on her face that you couldn’t distinguish.

“hi princess,” she said, slow and sultry. you couldn’t help the blush spread on your face from the tone of her voice. she put her hand out and tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear. you subconsciously moved your face towards her hand but had a confused look on your features. she rested her hand on the joining place of your neck and shoulder, caressing the soft skin.

“you look very pretty today,” she said with a flirty grin. you held a shy smile on your face and mumbled out a quiet “thank you.” you were wearing a nice dress, perfect for the new spring season. the fabric was a silky and smooth white color with pink flowers decorating it.

to emphasize her point, dina placed a hand on the material covering your leg, running her hand up and down. your eyes followed her hand for a few seconds before looking up into her eyes, finding that she was already looking at you.

“dina…” you whispered, confused, “what’re you doing?” she softly laughed at you with an amused look taking over her expression.

“just admiring you, pretty girl. it’s all we could do since you got here,” she said, leaning in closer to you. you furrowed your eyebrows, ‘we?’ you looked over to the left to see ellie staring at the two of you. she had a nervous smile on her face.

dina gripped the side of your jaw lightly but still firm, turning your attention away from ellie and back to her. “we, ellie and i, were wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. see where things take us…” dina said, hand still stroking your thigh.

your gaze flickered between her two eyes, trying to figure out what she meant by her question. ‘see where things take us’ was pretty straightforward, but your overthinking mind got the best of you sometimes.

you stammered for a few seconds before getting out what you were trying to say. “uh, i- well, sure. i can come over…” you trailed off.

dina smiled cutely at you. “well then it’s settled. come to my house around seven, okay?” you nodded dumbly with big eyes. she leaned over and kissed your cheek before walking out of the dining hall, ellie trailing after her.

you leaned back in your chair and let out a huge breath. god, they were gonna be the death of you…

a few hours later, you sat in front of your mirror trying to fix your appearance. you kept the dress that you had on earlier, since dina did say she liked it, but couldn’t decide what to do for makeup. it wasn’t like you had a lot of options anyway, it is the apocalypse after all. you found some book about female prisoners, one chapter being about how they made makeup in jail, and decided to give their recipes a try. it did, in fact, turn out pretty well.

you applied a bit of glittery pink eyeshadow and lipgloss carefully. after taming the frizziness of your hair, you decided you looked presentable.

you made the short trek to dina’s house, only taking around three minutes. you stood at the front door, taking a deep breath before knocking. after a few seconds, the door swung open to reveal a very timid ellie.

“hey y/n. you look pretty…” she said quietly as her eyes trailed down your body. you smirked slightly, enjoying her nervous state. “thanks els, you look pretty too,” you told her with a wink. she shook her head softly and stepped aside, letting you in. you didn’t miss the pink blush that coated her freckled cheeks.

“ah, hey babe. you’re here!” dina said as she rounded the corner. she held a bottle of wine and three glasses in her hands, balanced carefully. you reached out and grabbed two of the glasses in case they fell. “hey dee. thank you for having me over,” you said with a small smile.

“anytime, pretty girl. now c’mon, let’s sit and drink,” she said as she lead the two of you to the couch. dina and ellie sat on either side of you, squishing you between them on the small loveseat. the feeling of them pressed up against you made your neck hot.

the lights were dimmed a bit and they had even lit a candle, making it seem even more romantic. dina poured the glasses of wine, which you all began to sip on.

the conversation flowed easily between the three of you, ellie even opening up a bit and becoming more sociable. the closeness between you had just increased more. at one point, ellie saw how tight you were squeezed between them that she just pulled you onto her lap by your waist. the action made you heat up a bit, but you definitely didn’t protest.

you were sitting on ellie’s lap with her arms wound tightly around your waist, dina’s hand stroking your thigh like she did earlier. all this attention made your head fuzzy, but you weren’t complaining at all. you had two of the hottest women you had ever seen all over you, what more could you ask for?

after a few minutes more of talking, dina slowly leaning closer to your face the whole time, she finally got so close to your lips you were sharing breaths. she placed a hand on your jaw, “can i kiss you?” she asked in a hushed voice. you nodded feverishly, which was all dina needed to smash your lips together.

the kiss was hot and passionate, tongues fighting for dominance. you obviously ended up losing. she bit your bottom lip, making you let out a moan. she took the opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

while you and dina were kissing, one of ellie’s hands trailed up your abdominal to your breast, giving it a firm squeezes. she leaned down to your neck and starting sucking, leaving scarlet marks in their wake.

you and dina both pulled away from the kiss, breathless and lips swollen. “you wanna go upstairs?” ellie whispered in your ear. “yes please,” you said quickly. dina laughed at your obvious enthusiasm before taking your hand and dragging you up from ellie’s lap. dina lead you up the stairs while ellie put a loose are around your waist.

the second you walked into the bedroom, dina pulled you in by your waist for another fiery kiss. her hands squeezed your hips tightly as yours rested on the base of her neck, gently rubbing. ellie watched the two of you like a lost puppy, not knowing how to join in.

dina pulled away and turned her attention to ellie. she pushed the taller girls shoulder, making her fall back onto the chair she had pulled out. “since i did basically all the flirting here, i think i should get the first round with her. don’t you agree, els?” dina asked in a smug voice, which made you giggle.

ellie just rolled her eyes and leaned back in the chair, manspreading. that’s hot.

dina pushed you back until your knees hit the back of the bed, effectively sending you to lay down. your legs hung over the edge of the bed and your hair sprawled around your head like a halo. dina thought you were the most gorgeous woman she’d ever seen (tied with ellie of course), and she was going to show you that.

dina immediately dropped to her knees in front of you. her hands went up run down your legs, kneading the flesh. you propped yourself up on your elbows just in time to see dina’s head disappear below your dress.

“oh fuck, dina,” you sighed when she started to kiss you through your panties. your legs went to clamp around her head but she held them open with strong arms.

“you’re already so wet.” just an observation. you were gonna make some sassy remark like of course i’m wet, it’s you between my legs, but you feel dina’s tongue drag over your clothed clit. the feeling made you shutter.

her hands slide up to grip your ass, probably leaving marks you’d see tomorrow. you start to worry about what you can’t see, so you tug at the end of your dress to pull it over your head, revealing your matching bra and panties to the two women. they both let out a satisfied sigh at the sight of the lacy underwear.

“dressed all pretty for us, huh?” dina teased, running a finger up and down your slit. you just hopelessly nodded and bucked your hips, hinting that you wanted her to give you more. dina laughed before sliding your panties down your legs, so slow you wanted to shout.

“take off the bra too,” you suddenly heard from across the room. you looked up to see ellie staring at you with a dark expression, presumably lust. you obeyed her, slowly unclipping the bra without breaking eye contact. you threw it lazily on the floor before looking back down at dina.

dina leaned up, letting her warm breath fan over your cunt. you clench around nothing at the feeling. after a few seconds, she buried her face into you. no teasing, no taking her time. she knew exactly what she wanted.

you can hear the distinct sounds of her licking at your wetness. the smacking sound of her lips as she tries to clean up the mess you’ve made. you lace your fingers through her hair and push her head deeper into you, rocking your hips onto her face.

all of your other senses disappeared as the feeling of pleasure flooded you. your head feels so light, no thoughts. just dina’s tongue and her nails scraping against your ass.

your back arched off the bed as you got closer to your high. one hand rested in dina’s hair and the other was squeezing your tits, rolling your nipples between you fingers. you were giving ellie quite the show.

you soon found out that if you jutted your hips just right, your clit would bump into dina’s nose. it gave you a feeling of delicious pleasure.

“oh god. i-i’m so close… please don’t stop,” you whine out. to your embarrassment, dina giggled. “already? that’s it, princess. good girl,” she encouraged.

dina moves one of her hands from your ass to your clit, rubbing tight circles and pinching it. she presses a kiss over for folds before running her tongue back through them, licking up more of your wetness.

the tension in your stomach built up much quicker than you’d like to admit. you were close and dina could tell. the way your knees got weaker and started to shake, your breaths got shallower, and the rhythm of your hips started to stutter.

then, so much sooner than you want, you tense up. you can feel the coil in your stomach burst. with nothing more than a gasp of her name falling from your lips, you cum.

your a whimpering mess. a bit pathetic, in your opinion, but the other two women relish in the sight. you black out for a second, letting the wave of your orgasm wash over you.

you feel the bed dip beside you and you open your eyes to find dina lovingly staring at you. she leans down and gives you a sweet kiss, letting you taste yourself. you hear ellie’s feet walking across the room and you look up to see what she’s doing. she’s now fully naked, besides a certain black harness resting on her hips. a strap-on? where the fuck did she even find that? in all honestly, you didn’t really care. you just wanted to feel it inside you.

“lay down, dina,” ellie instructs. the brunette complies, laying her head down on the soft pillow. ellie puts her hands on your hips, repositioning you until your back is to her front, making you face dina. you can feel the long silicone digging into your ass and dina’s eyes carefully watching the two of you.

ellie grabs your jaw, turning your head until you can meet her eyes. “you want me to fuck you, princess?” you whimper out embarrassingly loud at her question. “please…”

“then bend over,” she said as she pushes her hand on the small of your back. you face ends up leveled with dina’s now unclothed cunt. she had taken off all of her clothes while the two of you were talking, you guessed.

you hook your arms around dina’s thighs, locking your face into her core. you feel ellie slowly push the strap into you. she bottoms out and steadily starts a pace.

you start to move your tongue in circles around dina’s clit, teasing her a bit. she throws her head back as your tongue reaches farther into her, your name coming off of her lips in a broken moan.

“you’re so good, baby. keep doing that,” dina gasps. you’re obedient, tongue lapping at dina’s folds. she shows you affection by reaching a hand down to rub your shoulders and back soothingly.

behind you, ellie’s having the time of her life watching you. she grips your hips tightly, practically pounding into you. you arch your back even more, pressing your tits against the mattress. you let out little whines into dina’s cunt, adding onto her pleasure.

“takin’ me so well, princess. so fucking good,” ellie breaths out, like she’s in a trance watching you. you can feel yourself dripping down your thighs at the praise. in the back of your head, you hope you don’t stain the sheets.

ellie repositions her knee so she’s hitting that much deeper into you, making you cry out into dina’s cunt. dina’s hips are rutting against your face, craving her high.

all three of you are desperate at this point, grinding on each other with need. the catch-on in the strap is hitting ellie’s clit perfectly, making her thrust that much faster into you. you grip dina’s thighs so hard that you leave indents.

“i know you’re close, baby. come for us,” dina instructs, out of breath. you push yourself back onto ellie harder, almost at the peak of release.

after a couple seconds more, all three of you hit euphoria at the same time. the room is filled with everyone’s moans, gasps, and whines. the sounds make you shutter even more.

after you all ride out your highs, ellie slowly pulls out of you and you whine at the emptiness. you get up from your bent-over position and sleepily lay next to dina. she pulls your head into her chest and strokes your sweaty hair.

ellie unhooks the strap-on from her hips and lazily throws it on the floor. she lays on the opposite side of you, spooning you from behind.

“you did so good for us, sweetheart. you can sleep now, we got you,” dina whispers in your ear. that’s the last thing you hear before you drift off into a deep slumber.

‧⨯ .⁺₊ ⊹ ‧⨯ .⁺

[elorawrites]

  ₊˚ ପ ⊹ ℰ𝒩𝒟ℒℰ𝒮𝒮ℒ𝒴 .ᐟ

꒰ 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 . . . ꒱ 17.8k word count , both ellie & reader are 20 , fem reader , drug usage ( ellie smokes weed hello -.^ ) , virginity loss , dom / sub dynamics , established relationship implied ( not rlly spoken about 'til the end ) , mention of jesse havin' a lil crush on reader , squirting , fingering , oral sex ( r. receiving ) , stone top ellie , some pining , lots of mushy feelings , cum swallowing , reader has pubic hair , strap on usage , bit of self insertion , nipple play , pet name usage ( ex. mama, baby, babe, good girl ) , a cunny slap worked its way in there , mentions of the reader having curly hair / hair long enough for bows , ellie's head over heels for you 's literally insane .

maisie's note to you .ᐟ . . . this is a long one :> i dunno how it came to this but it's here n 'm soooo happy C: . i love ellie williams just a lil bit too much and as a direct byproduct of such love -- here is this monstrosity of a fic. timelines may be a lil' fuzzy cuz my memory isn't that great . title of work inspired by this song . minors do not interact . . do not !

from a bud, a timid bloom, to a kinetic flouret. repeat. sunlight, oxygen, water, nutrients — yes, nevertheless, not only that . . . space and time as well. people seem to forget those two — the most critical, elemental aspects.

the lifespan of flowers has fascinated you since you were a little girl. naturally, without fail, you did seem to gravitate towards beauty over all other technicalities. whether it be above the most simple things such as a fuzz-ball tipped, glitter ink pen over a simple, blue ballpoint, a dangling, hello kitty keychain instead of a plain lanyard, or a satin scrunchie over a black hairband.

you are, and arguably always will be, a person that values and treasures the grandeur beauty that the world has to offer.

given jobs such as the compound’s horticulturist, culinarian, stable worker, occasional hair stylist all brought you the sweetest joy. having been living, surviving, existing within an apocalypse since you were a mere seven years old, your purity and innocence got ribboned into thin shreds by the horrid death of your father and sibling happening right before your eyes, going days upon weeks with little to no food in your stomach, and having to kill, fight, and hurt both cbi infected and non-fungal, simply fucked up human beings alike just to make it out alive. and you suppose that maria knows that.

your mother’s best friend, your surrogated aunt — she’s been with you throughout the ordeals, knew that you didn’t deserve to live a life like the one you’re forced to. not the little girl she had held in the hospital, cradled within her embrace, yawning and whimpering with big, glistening eyes squinting almost angrily ( admittedly cutely ) at the bright fluorescent lights ahead of you snapping them shut with a huff. not the little girl who danced barefoot in the backyard just to feel the soft frills of the grass your mother made sure to keep healthy and trimmed kiss your feet with soft whispers that only seemed to make you giggle. and surely not the little girl who, no matter what, no matter where, gently kissed the scars of her loved ones without a moment’s hesitation — always murmuring about how the best cure, the best medicine are a few, little kisses and a bunch of love.

maria vowed to keep you safe, and if that meant showing a little favoritism with assigning job taskings, so be it.

you, her, and your mother stumbled upon a compound by the name of jackson when you were twelve, back then the little colony burrowed right after the neck of the woods, downhill and bounded by mountains only housed about thirty people max. showing natural initiative and headship, maria worked herself up onto the council, brought your mother aboard to add a bit of cushioning on heavy decisions on subjects such as patrol matters and route mappings.

for two years, you finally were able to rest again, to smile again, to find the bits of happiness and beauty in the world worth living for again.

then you turned fourteen . . your birthday came and went about a couple weeks before two unknowns showed up, on horseback with maria in tow. jackson, now a little more full, slowly but surely more homes, stores, and workshops being established — hot food and clean water was becoming a regular thing now instead of a luxury, you knew that maria had to have had a good reason to have brought the strangers inside the walls of your home, personally herself.

you locked eyes with ellie williams for the first time after she hopped off of a horse, your favorite, named bucky. back then, you realize it now, her toughness had been a façade — a mask eclipsed in front of tender juvenescence for survival, much like every other kid on earth.

as the man she came with embraced tommy, a guy you have caught on several occasions slipping out of maria’s front door during the wee hours of the morning, you had stood on the outskirts of the stables, rusty bucket in hand sloshing with warm water . . your eyes felt stuck.

they trembled each time you tried to move them. you could only stare at ellie, lips parted in fascination, and she had simply glanced at you . . before looking over at bucky, back at you again, at tommy, then you again.

when her face started to scrunch — eyebrows folding in close, corners of her lips downwards in a clearly irritated lour — no doubt annoyed from your gazing, you had quickly turned your head and shuffled back towards the wellspring you had came from without a second look back.

for days, the girl tormented your mind. you found yourself staring up at the ceiling inside of your bedroom, replaying the encounter over and over — noticing more small details about her than before. her fingernails caked with dirt and grime, the freckles you could see from a mile away that littered the entirety of her face, how they got a little more sparse towards the edges of it, how her hair lightened up to a more golden copper in the sunlight as opposed to the dark rust when she stood in the shade.

learning that she had left, not even an entire two days later had your gut wrenching with a weird feeling. why?, you wanted to ask tommy as you crouched in your nightgown at the arch of the living room’s entryway, shrouded behind a tall fern where he conversed with your mother and maria. “they both should be back, though.”

a tensed silence hangs over the room for a moment, unease and doubt practically dripping off of the wooden beams onto the crowns of your heads. ‘should.’ tommy’s word choice had been certain of the fact but you all know what waited outside these walls. nothing was ever resolute in these times.

never the one to hold her tongue, your mother couldn’t help but quietly ask, “are you sure, tommy?”

his answer was quick, “positive . . . i know my brother.”

you’ll be honest, in the days to come, when weeks spun into months, you had forgotten about ellie. preoccupied with doing your part in helping make jackson continue to run smoothly, attending math and english lessons taught by your mother at the kitchen table through old pre-calculus and oxford english textbooks, and frankly, maturing and growing the same way anyone else does as they become older, the pretty, red headed girl had slipped into the furthest nook inside your mind.

until, she popped up again about four months later, accompanied by tommy’s brother.

a bit of a celebration had been thrown in the dining hall, welcoming joel and ellie into the city and in honor of their safe return. and as you sat quietly, tummy full of roasted deer and baked beans, you admired ellie again from afar, finding that the shade of her hair had reminded you of the finest red marigolds.

it’s hot today.

your mother estimated it to be at least ninety eight degrees.

you feel it in the soil where you crouch down in your flowy, pink, sundress — when you dip your fingers inside, breaking through dried dirt to feel the moistness that resides in the roots. parched.

“tch,” you click your tongue with a soft huff, thumbing your fingers over the gentle petals of your camellias. “gotta bring you babies inside.”

outside of your home, your begonias and sunflowers had been thriving, petals seemingly glowing bright with intensity and a happy blush — almost sparkling. but your marigolds . . . your marigolds were absolutely perfect. the simple sight of them makes you give a happy, little squeal, making sure that after carefully digging up your camellias with a trowel and setting them in a wheelbarrow, you use a cultivator to scratch the dry soil, remove the weeds, and spread down an even, thick layer of mulch to protect and moderate the temperature of it.

“how they doin’?”

you hadn’t heard the footsteps padding through the curved walkway that’s bordered with hydrangea shrubs and chipped, little gnomes that tommy had scavenged up for you after a patrol a few months ago. jesse’s voice makes you turn on your haunches and place your watering can down softly on the grass. the sun is beaming so bright, golden disc hanging in the air almost menacingly, you have to lift a hand to provide a cover for your eyes to look up at him.

“huh?”

his skin is more tanned than usual — makes sense as to why when looking at the weather.

at your question, the corner of his lips lift a bit and he motions behind you to your flower bed.

“o-oh!” how silly. you giggle and turn back around to look at them. they already seem much better than when you first came out here to see them. “very good. jus’ . . givin’ them some water so that they can stay hydrated, y’know?”

“mm.” you hear his steps near and you notice how carefully he moves when stepping on the grass to crouch down near you with his elbows on his thighs and hands dangling between them.

everyone in town knows how you are about gardening and your flowers, especially. ‘you’re teachin’ everyone to be more gentle,’ tommy had told you one day with a knuckle ruffle to the top of your head. ‘ ‘preciate that, sweetheart.’

“they are lookin’ good,” jesse murmurs, letting his eyes flit over the plants. “sum’n out of a magazine catalogue. nice.”

you give him a playful nudge with your shoulder, feeling the fluffy rounds of your cheeks heat with a scalding flush. “stop.”

you’ve known jesse since you were both thirteen. what had started off as some frail, little boy — he had been shorter than you for like . . ever, until one day, you swear, he had turned sixteen and sprouted like a beanstalk — is now, what he’d say, a grown man. buzz cut now a thick, healthy layer of hair that stopped near the base of his neck, round cheeks hollowed out to whittle a finely etched jaw, and no longer was his arms and legs so thin . . they’re thick now and impressively carved with thick sinew and brawn to reveal his true strength. puberty had grabbed jesse by the throat and molded and shaped him to someone you find hard to recognize sometimes.

“nah, ‘m serious,” he licks his lips before giving you a little, crooked smile, flicking his eyes from yours to your hands that had took hold of the watering can to begin dousing the flowers again with some much needed hydration. “so, listen—“

a high pitched squeal steals both of your attention.

your heads turn over your shoulders to look down the avenue where you could see dina laughing as she jogged away from a splatter of water that splashed out from a cup someone had been holding. someone who had to walk a little bit closer for you to see who it was.

ellie.

your face softens — smile drops and eyebrows relax above your eyes.

ellie.

six years had done her well, too.

she’s smirking, pulling her arm back to lift the cup up to her mouth and swallow the rest of the water that was inside. it was so hot today — the girl had sported only a thin, white, cropped tank top and a pair of baggy, tan cargo shorts with her favorite, admittedly filthy, high top converse . . the most skin you’ve seen on her in years, you think.

the gulp you take upon your eyes lowering to watch the line of her throat bob as she swallowed was somewhat painful.

she had gotten taller, too — soared from a petite five foot three from when you first saw her to a somewhat towering five foot nine. after years of patrol, you’ve come to notice the striking biceps that flexed whenever she had to lift something or even just moved her arms a certain way. but you never . . ever noticed the abs that chiseled her flat abdomen until this very moment.

her short hair, stopping only a bit after her ears, had been pulled into a small bun today with a few strands stuck to her glistening forehead where tiny droplets of sweat beaded the surface of.

as her and dina get closer, you can hear her say something, “—like i’m gonna fuckin’ fall out with a heatstroke.”

her voice — the biggest shift, you’d say — no longer pitched and high, but almost three octaves deeper . . peppered with a slight rasp that makes you want to give a little, dreamy sigh each time you hear it.

her eyes catch yours before jesse’s — she seems to observe you two . . and quickly. they flick from you, to jesse, your bodies, then up to your eyes. she doesn’t say anything, just lifts her hand up to her temple and flicks her wrist with her thumb, index, and middle finger out to give jesse a quick, little salute.

you notice how her eyelids lower a little bit when she looks at you again, how she sucks the inside of her cheek between her two molars to hide a smirk? a smile? before she turns her head back forward to look down at her feet then lifts it back up. how she continues to walk beside dina like she doesn’t know you.

that.

you don’t . . get that.

you snap your head back to your flowers and you squint at them . . as if they’d hold the answers as to what ellie fucking williams is doing to you.

the two of you have never really gotten close, be it you both never really having the same job taskings, on the same sleep schedules, sharing the same hobbies . . you don’t know.

but, you’re cordial . .

she’d give you a small ‘sup’ in the dining hall prior to squeezing pass to go sit beside joel to discuss the next day’s schedule, slip you a warning if maria was having a shit day to let you know when to avoid, kinda . . . somewhat . . actually saved your life from an especially angry runner on the rare patrol you went along on. you don’t get her.

there are some times when she looks at you like you’re someone she’s never recognized before — then other times where you think you’re a literal honey glazed rib roast and she’s been starving for days. it’s confusing.

“—‘s a small, little get together at the bar,” jesse’s talking. you hadn’t even notice. you blink a few times and shake your head as if to physically erase ellie’s face out of your brain then lift it to give him your full attention.

“mhm?”

he smiles, “was thinkin’ you’d like to come. think it’s gonna be me, you, dina, naiya, ellie, jason, about ten more others . . it’ll be fun.”

your lips round out at the news, “oh . . oh — uhm,” you glance off to the side, briskly running the invitation over again in your brain for a moment. “yeah, sure. mm, i’ll be there.”

“yeah?” jesse’s smile seems to broaden. “alright. fuck, yeah. it starts at eight, don’t come too pretty, hm? gonna get wasted out of our fuckin’ minds.”

giggling, you watch him stand, “mhm, alright, jess. whatever you say.”

the night is humid.

the sun had long set, leaving behind the moon and an ink painted sky jeweled with tiny stars. a pink, shoulder tie, strapped dress dotted with cute, white daisies and a heart shaped, center boob cut out is your fit for tonight. it’s short — really short, lifts up to your high waist when you raise your arms so you have to slip on a pair of white shorts underneath. however, in your honest defense, it’s light . . and airy . . feels like nothing on your body and you desperately need that.

no amount of showers could rinse off the mugginess that resides on your skin, product and aftermath of a horrible, hot day.

being jackson’s very own, crowned princess had its perks.

everyone knew you made your own lipgloss, eyeshadows, and blush. there’s been numerous instances where someone will drop off coconut oil, beeswax, and little packets of glitter at your doorstep, aware that you use it all for your little cosmetics. gifts such as hair rollers, wooden hairbrushes, and sometimes even pretty, ankle length dresses had been personally delivered to you — mostly by tommy and maria, occasionally jesse, and once ( surprisingly! ) joel had given you an antique, pearl bordered, handheld mirror he had found with a gruff ‘thought you’d like this.’

you dip the pad of your middle finger inside of the little, glass pot that holds the sticky concoction of your strawberry flavored lipgloss prior to dotting it upon the plump surface of your lips to complete your entire look.

you like the person who stares back at you through the mirror — she looks pretty.

“the prettiest,” you whisper with a satisfied ‘hm’ and head nod.

the mid-calf length western boots you wear click against the wooden stairs as you hurry down them and out the door with a quick goodbye to your mother.

you love jackson at night because the short, street lamps come on . . the fairy lights that droop across the fronts of shops and the stable twinkle . . and the soft chatter from them and the houses in between seems to echo off the mountain’s terrain.

you walk slowly with your hands behind your back, eyes flickered up to the illuminating, full saucer that is the moon and hum a soft rhythm to an unknown song that had been stuck in your head for a few days now. “how pretty,” you whisper to yourself, tilting your head to find the big dipper.

the bar is only a short travel from your home, right beside a shop meant to trade things for ammo, extra arrows, and blades. you can already hear loud laughter and the bass of a slow paced blues song coming from the establishment a mile away.

pushing open the louvered doors, you’re faced with a pack of people . . immediately locking eye contact with jesse in a far corner hanging by the jukebox with a beer in hand under the low, warm lighting.

he sings your name all low and playfully, opening his arms with a slow shuffle of his shoulders making you roll your eyes with gaiety before walking inside of his embrace. “mm.” he gives you a firm squeeze, lifting you up off your feet to make you squeak and hold him tighter.

“jesse! put me down, oh my god!”

“told you not to come lookin’ so pretty,” he sets you back down on your feet slowly ahead of pulling away. his eyes are darker when he’s not in the sun, they stare into yours without a hint of bashfulness. “wanna drink?”

you quickly look away and shrug your shoulders, “yeah, sure.”

he leads you to the bar where you greet everyone on the pass by, settling down in a stool in front of seth, the bartender. “moonshine for the lady.”

seth snorts a bit while he dries a jar with a clean rag. “please. princess of jackson? drinkin’? must be a cold day in hell.”

quietly, you mutter, “is it strong?”

seth gives a shrug, “mm — can mix it with some lemonade, iced tea, ginger ale. what you got a taste for?”

“hm, lemonade, please?”

seth slips off to go make your drink, leaving you to swing your legs back in forth as you sit in your rotating chair. you turn to jesse, watching him kill the rest of his beer, slam it onto the counter then wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. you scrunch your nose, staring at the glass bottle, “so nasty,” you mumble. “tastes like . . foot juice.”

jesse smirks, “foot juice? yeah . . well, this foot juice makes me feel good and that’s all that matters.”

“disgustin’.”

he leans in close and mocks your voice and expression — nose scrunched and all, “disgustin’.”

you push him away with a laugh. “how’s your mom doing?”

“all good. she’s good . . been askin’ when you’re gonna come to dinner again.”

your eyebrows lift to showcase your surprise. you had long forgotten about the dinners you used to have with the family on every first friday of the month. “oh, tell her soon. i’ve just . . been so busy with my tasks and helping my mom around more.”

jesse shakes his head, “ahh, no biggie, no biggie. it’s all good. she knows, but just . . hurry please. ‘cause she’s been hounding me to bring you back.”

at the same time your moonshine had been served, ellie walks through the doors of the bar with two more behind her, all carrying bowls of something hot with swirling steam evaporating into the air above them. “little somethin’ from the dining hall to keep you fuckers from puking your guts out.”

everyone whoops and hollers as whatever it is gets set down, plated, and offered out. your tummy growls upon realizing that it was your favorite — tteokbokki. tasty, chewy rice cakes buried underneath a thin layer of cheese and a spicy, thick sauce covering it all. you like to lay at least four to five of them on a spoon and slurp them all up at once. “mm,” you hum happily as you chew, adoring the sticky feel of the rice cakes glueing to the grooves of your teeth.

“that good?” jesse teases.

“the yummiest.”

throughout the night you spend some of it talking and reminiscing with jesse, babysitting your drink, and occasionally getting up to dance when offered a hand from another one of your friends. it’s fun. this . . this is what gives you the motivation to keep living. knowing there’s another day to smile and drink and laugh and eat with some of the people you care for most. your heart can’t help but feel full about two hours in and you’re seated at the far end of the bar, new bowl of hot tteokbokki in front of you with a glass of cold water on the side.

you had started to feel a little woozy only about half of your moonshine in. jesse mumbled something about how you were a ‘lightweight.’

you’re slurping two rice cakes between the pucker of your lips when someone slides into the seat two down from yours and you’re chewing when you look up — meeting eyes with ellie who had reached over to the other side of the bar to grab a flask buried underneath where the top half of the counter protrudes out. “he always keeps the good shit to himself,” she mumbles, sparing you a quick glance. “can i count on you not to tell?”

you swallow slowly, fixated on the almost pellucid, jade green of her eyes. you nod.

“hm.” she opens it, takes a swig, and winces as she gulps it down. you catch sight of her holding what looks like a small, brown stick between her fingers. “fuck, that’s strong.”

she takes about two more before placing the flask where it properly belongs. more quietly, almost timidly, you go back to eating, watching her pull the stick up to her lips, inhale, then seconds later after holding it in, thick billows of smoke pour out from her nostrils.

oh.

you want to smack yourself for being so silly. a joint.

the two of you sit in silence for a while. you eat and she smokes.

the corner where you both sit in is dimmer than the rest of the room where everyone had been mostly dancing now, swaying and rocking to the slow beat of what you recognize as the floater’s float on.

“you don’t really come to these things, no?”

it takes you a moment to recognize that ellie had been talking to you, motioning to the atmosphere of the function. “hm?” your eyes widen. “uh, no . . yeah, no. not really.”

one of her legs dangles to the floor while the other foot steps on the ledge provided underneath the counter. her elbow is jutted out towards you with that same hand on her thigh. ellie takes another slow drag of her joint, eyes almost drilling a hole into your face. her gaze is intense, makes you want to melt into the floor where you sit. “mm, why not?”

you give a slow shrug.

“we’re not good enough for jackson’s princess?”

ellie watches your face closely. watches how you your big, doe eyes get all large again, how your face slowly begins to smoothen over with offense taken. good.

“what? no — that’s not it a-at all, what? i jus’ . . i don’t go out. that has nothing to do with anyone.”

ellie chuckles. it’s low and deep, putatively emerging from within the furthest parts of her throat. “alright, alright,” she holds one hand out in yield. “my bad.”

she can tell that she hit you where you didn’t like it. you look back down at your bowl, eyebrows furrowed and — oh, look at that. your glossy bottom lip is jutted out just the tiniest bit . . . you’re fucking pouting.

ellie can’t help but feel her heart give a tight, little twist. “sorry,” she tells you softly, reaching a hand across the counter to get your attention, bending her neck slightly to meet your eyes. “hey, ‘m sorry. didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“you didn’t,” you grumble.

“mhm.” ellie lets her eyes cart down the length of your arm to your fingers that grab hold of your glass of water to bring up to your lips. your fingernails are painted — of course they are. trimmed and filed neatly and laminated with a glittery, pinkish nude shade. and you wear rings . . all gold. one on your index, a twisted band. two on your ring, one that holds a pink stone and a simple band on the higher crease of it. and one on your pinkie, heart shaped.

she watches you swallow a few gulps of water before setting the glass back down, tries not to focus to much on how the spiciness of the rice cakes had your lips all plump and flushed more bright and now the water has them all glazed and sleek. looks like you’ve been kissed within every inch of your life — pure debauchery.

“you’re a bit of a brat, yeah?”

ellie, once again, catches you by complete surprise. you gape, “. . . excuse me?”

the freckle faced girl shrugs, taking another pull, “you’re like,” her voice sounds choked as she tries to speak while holding the smoke inside of her chest. “you’re spoiled . . get everything you want . . . a spoiled brat.” she speaks in a matter-of-fact tone, as if stating the sky was blue or how the ocean’s cold.

your heart feels like it’s galloping in your chest. the longest conversation you’ve had with ellie williams and she’s insulting you left and right. “i am not spoiled. and i am not a brat. what—“ you stop yourself. you have to.

ellie can’t help but let a lazy little smile start to lift her lips as she watches you close your eyes, inhale a deep breath, and blow it out calmly.

“what is your problem?” you ask more quietly.

“don’t have one. jus’ askin’ questions.”

“well, your questions suck.”

“mm, in your opinion.”

ellie will be honest . . . she thinks that the longer she pushes your buttons, the more fun this night gets. you’re . . cute. it’s entertaining. “you’re sitting here . . at a bar . . dressed in a frilly, pink dress, hair and make up done, smelling like . .” ellie sniffs in your general direction. “f-fucking coconuts? . . i mean, c’mon. you’re a spoiled fuckin’ terror.”

you’re quiet, letting her words sink in . . admiring her body language. no longer is she sitting forward, she’s turned towards you, practically leaned into the seat that separates you both. you know what she’s doing — trying to get a reaction out of you. and you don’t know why, but you’re not opposed to her attention . . not at all ( thinks it has something to do with remnants of the moonshine still rippling through the lines of your veins ). to push it even further, you want more.

and so you turn towards her, tilt your head just the slightest bit, and softly ask, “. . . are you flirting with me, ellie?”

it’s funny how she clams up. how her face goes the reddest you’ve ever seen, how she chokes on the last pull of her joint, and adds some distance between you both.

yeah . . .

you turn back forward and smile into your bowl of lonely, floating rice cakes, astonished with how you even managed to gather up the courage to do what you had just done. it’s warranted, you tell yourself while listening to her clear her throat and hiccup as she slams her fist into her own chest.

a few tensed seconds of silence pass. despite your brave performance, you’re scared to look up at ellie to catch the aftermath of her composure. the chair beside you creaks as it turns. your spine pulls taut when ellie slides into it to sit beside you. up close, she smells like weed and pine. strong and earthy. you close your eyes and inhale a slow breath, still not picking your head up.

ellie takes another long drag. up close, you can hear when her soft lips wrap around the joint and when they pull away from it as she releases the smoke. “and if i was?” her voice is low . . teetering a bit on playful. “thought you were jesse’s girl.”

oh.

oh . . .

you pull your head up to look at her. you think this is the closest you two have been in physical contact since you’ve met. her lips are pretty . . oval in shape and a faded, almost unnoticeable pink shade in tone. nose a straight downward slope and slender. you blow out a soft breath through your own, “and if i was?”

ellie’s lids fall halfway into her eyes and she gazes into yours beneath her lashes, “tell me you are and i’ll back off.”

you smile — little, confident mask finally falling and you look away, all sheepish and sweet. that’s all the answer ellie needs right there. “. . thought dina was your girl.”

“she’s not,” ellie shakes her head then licks her lips. “never have been and likely never will be.”

you acknowledge her words with a simple ‘hm’ and sit back against your stool, looking across the room where jesse stood by a booth with cat, maintaining a conversation with her withal sporadically glancing over at you then ellie, face smoothening over into an expression unreadable.

you look away.

back at ellie.

up close, you can see how light brown freckles not only mist the surface of her face, but her arms and legs, too. what’s more, you notice a sunspot or two, plastered upon the hill of her shoulder and another on her thigh, just above her knee. languidly, keenly, you let your eyes drag up the length of her neck, taking heed of her holeless earlobe, how when she folds her lips inside of her mouth, the action causes a slight dimple in her left cheek to crater. ellie’s . . . pretty. she’s always been so, so pretty to you.

“does joel know that you smoke?”

she turns her head back toward you. your question makes her eyes glimmer with amusement. she doesn’t smile though — not too hard. “does joel . . know that i smoke?” she repeats just underneath her breath, lazily bringing the joint back up to her lips. she never answers you, just fixes you with a stare rich and dense enough to make your entire body heat up as she takes an especially long pull.

you shake your head, idly, giggling a bit, “you’re bad.”

ellie makes sure to turn her head to blow the smoke away from you — away from your pretty face and your pretty dress and your pretty everything. “oh, i’m bad?”

“you are,” you nod and laugh a bit harder.

finding the joint almost touching the cushions of her fingers, ellie stubs it out, licking her lips while murmuring, “yeah, i can show you bad.”

“ellie!”

both of your attention is caught by dina who has her arm flapping in the air above her head. she’s on the other side of the room, beside a few more people you recognize as jason, naiya, and michael, who were all huddled in a booth. “come look at this shit! michael has even more of those hero trading cards than you!”

“load of bullshit,” ellie clicks her tongue and shakes her head, sliding to the edge of her seat to place a foot flat on the floor. “oh, uhm,” she turns back towards you, eyes focused somewhere below you both and to the side. her jaw tenses as she, plausibly, tries to find the proper words to say. “ ‘m free after my patrol tomorrow . . and i know you work the stables on sundays so . . .”

she’s already taking a few steps backward, hands shoved awkwardly in the deep pockets of her cargos. you know what she’s implying — knows that she’s . . asking you out in her own ellie type of way but . . you want her to say it. you drop your chin onto the palette of your interlocked fingers, nodding with interest. “oh, yeah?”

ellie stops, huffs a little sound between a scoff and a groan, and throws her head back. what a little pest, she can’t help but think. had she known you would be this much of a tease and taunter, she would’ve came at you with an entirely different approach. “y’know what? fuck it — ‘m picking you up from your assignment tomorrow. you can wear your . . dresses or skirts or whatever,” a tint of roseate spans across the area of her nose as she rubs the back of her neck and looks at your hands, your arms, your neck, your hair — everywhere but into your eyes. “but, where we’re going, you’re going to need a change of clothes.”

you giggle and drop your hands into your lap. “okay, ellie,” you utter softly. your heart feels like it’s quivering within your chest.

“okay?”

“mhm.”

she smirks a bit, “alright. i’m gonna,” she motions behind herself prior to spinning on the heels of her shoes. “y-yeah.”

you can hardly sleep that same night.

cruelly, your mind fights to conjure up the encounter and hang out invitation from ellie as a dream, or rather, more of a nightmare if going by how your heart dropping at the simple thought of it all being a tale or lie made you feel. you find yourself smiling as you eat breakfast come the next morning, giggling gently to yourself as you walk to the stables come nine am to begin your task, and even blushing as you find the end of your shift nearing.

you proud yourself on keeping your cool for when you finally see ellie again, seated upon a trotting shimmer with a faded, weathered dad cap worn backwards on her head holding golden woven strands of auburn back. she’s smiling a little bit when shimmer comes to a stop at the stable’s exit gate where you stand, crossed arms leaning on the upper bar and chin plopped upon those. it’s hot again today — you have to squint a little to make out the charming lines that etch out her face.

“hey,” she greets smoothly, voice thick and deep. “you ready?”

you nod your head slowly. “mhm.”

she repeats that lowly, “mhm? yeah? c’mon up here then.”

you squeak a little as you place the left sole of your boot upon the thick wood of the gate to further hoist yourself up to climb upon shimmer with the help of ellie’s forearm. “oof!” you huff a breath when you’re all settled behind her, butt sliding further down in the saddle so that your thighs are cradling ellie’s slim hips.

“you good?” she asks, angling her head over her shoulder to look at you. “comfy?”

“ ‘m all good ellie.” you can’t help but feel a little shy. last night, you both had only sat beside one another and that alone had you a mess, today, you both are literally, downright, flat-out touching — thighs to hip, hands to waist, back to front.

“alright.”

exiting the walls always has you tensing up. you find that your hands start to shake, your neck gets a little sweaty, and you can’t help but snap your head left and right over your shoulders as if a swivel was joined to the pinnacle of your spine. “stop worrying,” ellie had sung quietly, steering shimmer into a brisk jogtrot through an array of trees and bushes, pushing toward where you know an abandoned town resides about an hour east. “i’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you.”

her words evokes memories of the first time she had saved your life . . . only about ten months back. you had been too preoccupied with finding a necklace on the ground of the radio tower you were sent to go patrol on — simply been a pretty seashell linked upon a piece of thick twine, but you found it precious. bending down to pick it up and dropping your flashlight from inside the pocket of your jacket had alerted a runner from inside one of the closed booths. by the time it had got done pounding down the glass door down to fly out at you, ellie had emerged from only heaven’s know where and fired two bullets within the runner’s skull before it could make three steps toward you.

unconsciously, you fist the fabric of the ratty, old baseball jersey she wore tighter. “i know,” you respond softly. “. . you seem to always do.”

ellie scoffs a little snort, “why wouldn’t i? . . . your mom . . maria, tommy — they would all fuckin’ kill me.”

you inhale a sharp, scandalized gasp, “that’s the only reason why?”

she laughs — it’s a cute, loud thing composed of more breath and snickers than anything. “no, no. sorry, ‘m sorry . . . i’d save you ‘cause you’re cute, too.”

you roll your lips inside of your mouth to keep from grinning too hard, “yeah, i bet.”

when you let ellie’s words sink in — like, really sink in . . ‘i’m not going to let anything bad happen to you,’ you find that when you relax, when you place your trust and safety within the cups of the girl’s hands . . . riding through the woods with ellie is nice. listening to the tweeting of birds, shimmer’s clamoring hooves, the gentle sound of ellie’s humming, seeing the silvers of gleaming sunlight peer out through ragged slashes of branches and foliage . . being surrounded by greenery — it’s nice. you sigh an easy, serene sound through your nose, closing your eyes, then tilt your head up towards the sky. “ellie?”

“hm?”

you hesitate to say, inarguably, ask what you want to ask. and ellie doesn’t push, she stays quiet, waiting for you patiently which allows you extra time to gather up the courage and question, “what made you think that jesse and i were together?”

it’s a few moments of silence — quite honestly, you thought she hadn’t heard you given how lightly you asked the question, however, when she gives a little chuckle, you think you feel your ears perk to listen. “uhm,” she starts lowly. “i dunno, you both . . have always been close, yeah?”

“mhm.”

“and, i mean . . on patrols, he’d bring you up like — all the time. when everyone’d get the day off, you two would spend the whole day together and ’s jus’ . .” ellie shrugs. the longer she talks, the more the tone of her voice dries, as if the topic of the conversation had been draining every emotion out of her. she pauses again for a moment, this time to huff a little laugh again only this one was much more forced. “. . i don’t — i’m not . . . listen, ( ♡ ), i jus’ didn’t want to step on any toes.”

you take in what she says — every word, every unspoken emotion. you understand it all, because you’ve thought the same between her and dina. it’s as if the two of them gravitated towards one another when ellie had first moved to jackson and became inseparable ever since. be that as it may, you recognize that it’s not dina who’s holding onto ellie right now as you ride horseback to a location only she knows, but you. and it’s not jesse who’s shoulder you’ve been uncontrollably blushing into for the last ten minutes, but ellie’s.

maybe it was by this logic that had you timidly admitting, “. . . i’ve always thought you were pretty, ellie.”

you want to giggle at how hard you feel her body tense up. how shimmer gives a little snort and grunt when ellie’s heels dig into her ribs and as she murmurs and quickly tries to force herself relax again, “o-oh, shit. 'm sorry, shim’ . . m-my bad,” she shushes shimmer’s whines prior to clearing her throat. this whole time she had been leveling her turned head to talk to you more easily without raising neither of your voices — the angle had gave you a nice view of her cheeks. now, her head is now straightforward . . and in the vein of last night, you bet her face is as red as a rose. “y-you can’t jus’ . . say shit like that, oh my god.”

bashfully, you whisper an ‘okay.’

ellie’s quiet again . . . it’s nothing but the rustling of leaves and shimmer’s clopping hooves until she utters,

“honestly . . i’ve always thought that you were fucking breathtaking.”

it’s edging into about an hour and a half when ellie finally makes it to you guys’ destination. somewhere that included having shimmer guide you both over hilltops and trails and through a riverbed until a thick wall of vines and bushes are opening up into a gorgeous waterfall and lake big enough to fit at least half of jackson. you gasp, having to tilt your head to look above you both at the gorgeous cascade of loud, rushing water pouring down the edge of a cliff, shrouded with thick mats of moss along almost the entirety of it.

“ellie?!”

you can’t hop off of shimmer fast enough to hurry to the lake where tiny schools of white crappies and sunfish had waded and swum about through the crystalline water. draping over the waterfall, practically dripping into the lake were long stems of creeping jenny, a plant you’ve only seen in one of your many, many horticulturist magazines, a plant you’ve been dying to see in person since you got into gardening. the entire sight had been something out of a movie.

tying shimmer up after letting her have a drink, ellie walks over to stand beside you, smiling gently at your marveling expressions. “you like it?”

as if her voice had broken you out of a daydream, you snap your head to her to look into her eyes and give tiny, eager nods. “yes — oh my god, yes. this is beautiful. i love it, ellie.”

she lets you walk around the perimeter of the lake, ooh’ing and ahh’ing over a new fish you’d see or a pretty flower while she picks a nice location a few feet away from the edge to take off her pack, kneel down and unzip it to pull out a blue and white gingham blanket. while she unpacks, you kick off your shoes and socks, walk to the shallow edge of the lake and dip your feet in. “w-waaah!” it’s freezing, as expected, but after having been sweating your skin off for the past week, you quickly. adjust. “how did you find this place?”

“uh — me and joel . . there’s another little town about twenty miles from here . . has a mall we stopped by at.”

when you look over your shoulder, when you see that a picnic was part of this surprise too . . you can’t help but cover your sweltering cheeks as ellie waves you over. “c’mere.”

you’re pouting when you carefully sit down beside her, feeling your heart squeeze and inflate almost painfully at the cute, little heart shaped sandwiches, containers of plump, ripe berries, and fresh salads. “ellie,” you’re mewling, pleasantly surprised — feeling so many emotions than you knew what to do with. “i’ve never had anyone do this for me . . thank you.”

“stop it,” she grumbles, turning her hat around the proper way to tip the brim downwards. “it’s not like you don’t deserve it.”

ellie lets you eat until your heart’s content, only having a sandwich and few strawberries herself due to her unable to keep from staring at how cute you appeared when you took a bite almost too big that had your cheeks fattening up at the crests and eyes squinting into pretty demilunes, all in effort to make you chew slower and swallow. in a way, it is hard for her to believe that the two of you were together and alone . . . finally. she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought of this exact date with you since her and joel had stumbled upon the waterfall, would be an even bigger liar if she said the feelings that had been growing for you over the past six years only to continuously be stomped down are now raging inside of her without an anchor to stop them.

when you giggle and relay little stories about your childhood before the outbreak, ellie wants to hold you. when you tell her about the death of your father and sibling happening right in front of you and your mother’s eyes, she wants to never let go. when you lighten back up with a smile, turning the subject to flowers and plants — gushing to her about your favorites as your eyes literally fucking sparkle and shine . . . ellie thinks, wait, no, she knows that she wants to kiss you.

and ellie has never been the one to hide how she feels — her face a constant betrayer in persistently revealing her true emotions. when she hears your words die out on your tongue mid sentence, how your glossed lips split open a bit, and your eyebrows relax . . she knows that you saw.

“what?” you had asked sweetly, head tilting in just the cutest fucking way. “do i . .” you touch your lips with your fingertips as ellie inhales a breath between her teeth and quickly looks away. “do i have something on my face?”

“no,” ellie shakes her head. “no. you’re fine.” you’re perfect.

you hum. “. . . wanna get in the lake with me?”

ellie doesn’t think you’d let her refuse.

emerging your bodies in the water feels like pure bliss. the lake is deeper than you think, you have to keep yourself afloat by continuously swaying your arms in and out as you wade about . . curiously inching toward a fish only for it to bolt away. the third time it happens, you giggle, going to turn to show ellie only to see nothing but the water surrounding you. “. . ellie?”

you turn again, thinking you heard a shuffle behind you though . . nothing. “. . . ellie?”

you’re heart rate slowly begins to quicken in pace the longer you try to look for her, only to find her gone. you start to think about the dangers that surround you, the dangers that may have gotten her, how you’re going to live knowing you’d never know what happened to her when suddenly you feel something clasp around your ankle underwater.

you scream — it’s a loud, shrill shriek of terror that easily rivals the waterfall’s volume as you fight to wriggle whatever it is that has you and swim to the edge to get out of the lake . . only when you’re about two wades away, you hear the sound of someone or thing emerging from the water, a gasp and then loud, familiar laughter.

“are you kidding me!”

ellie’s laughing so hard that soft pearls of tears slide out of the crinkled outer edges of her eyes. “oh, f-fuck . . oh fuck!”

you pull your arms back and jolt them forward to send a hard, big splash right into her face, however, if anything, that only seems to make her laugh harder. “ellie, that wasn’t funny!”

“f-f-fuck,” she’s wheezing, reaching for the ledge of the lake. “o-oh my god, i think i have to pee.”

you’re pouting, arms folded, horribly embarrassed.

“the way you screamed.”

still, in spite of her laughing at your fear and mocking your little scream, you can’t help but focus on how beautiful she looks with her hair wet and pushed back off of her face, flat on her head, exposing the flawless perfections of her features. from her freckles, to her high, angled cheekbones, her thick, dark eyebrows and the little scar etched vertically down across the tail of the right one, splitting it into two. you’re nibbling on your bottom lip, staring at ellie with this dreamy . . faraway look in your eye and — really. you’re making this hard for her, so, so fucking hard.

you both don’t know when you drift towards one another, but you do. you wade with each other in the middle of the cold lake, beside the waterfall and you stare at ellie . . waiting for her to do what you’ve been wanting her to do to you for the past six years and ellie smirks, she smirks like she knows exactly what you’re thinking and shakes her head the slightest bit. “you don’t even know what you’re doin’ to me half the time,” she mumbles, eyes closed and face angled away as she rubs the corner of her eye.

“hm?”

ellie sighs, “. . stop it.”

you don’t get it. “stop what?”

she groans, throwing her head back, “stop . . s-stop making me want to . . . stop it, ( ♡ ).”

you push a little closer, until only about two inches of space separate you both. it’s a bold move — you’ve been making plenty of bold moves over these last couple hours but, coming to terms with the person ellie is . . you know she isn’t one to jump all into something without a little nudge to show her that it’s okay. so, again, you ask her gently, eyes peering up to hers through your pretty lashes, “stop what?”

ellie sighs out through her nose, head angled a bit to the side and downwards and a little simper plays on the curve of her lips. she’s breaking down, and she knows that you know. still . . .

you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

the world seems to silence around you both. neither of you hardly even hear the loud sound of rushing water anymore. it’s simply you . . and ellie. ellie and you.

ellie closes what little space resides between you both until your chests are touching and your noses are only about a silver apart. you watch her eyes grow heavy when she finally allows herself to gaze down at your lips — plump, glossed, and pretty and allow yourself to do the same . . admiring the captivating shape of hers. “jus’ . . double checking,” ellie mumbles, face inching closer and closer to yours. “you want this, right?”

you nod, voice sounding as if it were lodged in your throat when you say, “uh huh.”

you don’t think she hesitates after that.

because of you both having to stay afloat in the water, she’s unable to take hold of your face the way that she wants to for when she finally smashes her lips into yours, and you’re unable to take hold of her waist the way that you want to to hold on. ellie pushes you though, she swims you backward with your lips moving until the both of you reach a more shallow part of the water where it stops at your waist and your feet are on ground. only then is when she’s able to cradle your face between her calloused hands and kiss you truly the way she wants to.

her lips move fluidly, initially slowly, and she kisses you deeply — has the both of you taking in a little gasp of breath each time your lips separate only to gravitate back for more.

you feel your hands trembling when they go to touch ellie’s forearms. you can feel the shaky tickles of her breaths through her nose intertwining with your own and — oh, she’s nervous, too. sweet ardor and warmth blooms within the expanse of your chest. “ellie.” you mewl her name through the soft, honeyed sound of your lips continuously meeting and leaving and you don’t know why . . . you think it’s you trying to come to terms with this being real as if pinching yourself while dreaming.

she’s here . . right in front of you, kissing you.

and ellie feels the same way — can’t help but chuckle softly on the pillows of your lips which only makes you smile onto hers. “fuck,” she mumbles, prior to leisurely pulling away, still cradling your pretty face between her hands. she admires her work . . . your dilated pupils and now-swollen lips. she has no doubt that she probably looks the exact same way.

she had kissed you breathless. you’re still trying to catch it as you let the pad of her thumb touch the delicate skin of your bottom lip. “that was good, right?” she asks, gentle, green eyes finally snapping back up to yours which makes you do the same.

you nod and smile, “. . was perfect.”

ellie’s cheeks go pink, “yeah?” she murmurs. her face is tipping back forward again, you don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it but when you kiss again . . somehow this one just feels even better.

you fall asleep on the ride back home.

you both had spent the whole day at the waterfall, swimming about, playing water games you hadn’t partook in since you were a child before the outbreak, taking turns trying to scare one another . . kissing, and talking more about each of your lives. it’s no shock as to why ellie finds your chin plopped onto her shoulder and face tucked into her neck as you give these quiet, wheezy snores, arms draped around her midriff tight. you both had a long day.

aware of the fact that it was rather dangerous to fall asleep on a jogging horse, with anyone else, ellie would have woke the person up with a firm elbow. you, however . . . she makes sure to take both of your arms wrapped around her within one of her own and hold you tight.

“mm,” you’re gently moaning when you hear the loud, ear-grating bellow of jackson’s gate opening, eyelids pushing open the slightest bit to allow as minimal light into your pupils as possible.

ellie gives a gentle squeeze to your hand, “finally back, pretty girl.”

you rub your cheek along the surface of her shoulder, holding onto her tighter when the two of you are allowed entry. the sun had been setting, swirling tones of indigo, pink, and tangerine seamlessly together similar to watercolors on a canvas. you don’t want to let go of ellie yet . . . especially not when shimmer’s granted into the stables which leaves you both needing to unload. “c’mon—“

“—don’ wan’ you to go.”

you could still be delirious on sleep, ellie wants to believe that’s the reason as to your straightforward phrase. albeit, given as your other displays of affection towards her over the last twenty four hours have been candid and square-shooting . . . she knows you’re speaking on a clear mind. “no?” she asks softly, turning her head as far as it can go without hitting yours to look at you whose chin had been plopped upon her shoulder.

your lips are pouted, cheeks smooshed upwards which pushes the fat skin into your eyes, squinting them — fucking precious. “. . . then i won’t.”

ellie climbs off of shimmer first, offering you a hand so that you can jump down beside her and while rubbing your blurry eye, you watch her grab her backpack, holster it on then take the saddle off of shimmer’s back. she clicks her tongue, leading the horse into her designated stall by her bridle, “there we go. good girl.”

you both are walking past the market center, steps inching into the housing district when she says, “only if you’re comfortable with it . . we can head to my place . . watch a movie? play video games? whatever you want.”

looking up at her, admiring the soul-stirring aspect of the dying sunlight kissing the expanse of her skin, lightening her eyes into two, identical jewels of lucid sage — you look away, lean a little closer her way to bump your shoulder into her arm and nod. “movie, please?”

over the course of the next two months, you and ellie find yourselves virtually joined at the hip.

the only time you two aren’t seen with one another is when she, perpetually day-by-day, has to go on patrol. irregardless of such, when she comes back, she’s immediately in search for you to relieve you from your own tasks — taking you on another date outside the walls to overgrown botanical gardens and abandoned boutiques, inviting you back to her place when the both of you are in desperate needs of naps and quiet, sometimes simply grabbing you by the hand and pulling you towards the direction of your own house to the backyard where your pretty garden resides . . . and when finally asked why, she had only given you a little shrug, murmuring something about ‘watching you garden ‘s jus’ peaceful to me, i dunno.’

for the first couple weeks, there isn’t a single doubt within either of your minds that you were the star topic of jackson’s news. never really any judgmental stares — only knowing little smirks and chuckles when a resident would happen to see the two of your hands intertwined as you walk along side of a trail or seated upon a porch. it had made you smile . . made ellie huffy and flustered though you supposed, then and now, that any other reaction from her would’ve plainly been abnormal.

today, for what is strangely only the second or third time, the both of you find yourselves in your bedroom on a particular, dragging saturday afternoon.

ellie’s patrol got clipped a little short and your own job of being on the dining hall’s staff went by quicker than you expected. the both of you had been off by one pm and you finally gotten the chance to badger ellie into playing her guitar for you.

in the wake of your first date, when she had taken you back to her place and the two of you had watched toy story on repeat ( your wishes granted, of course ) and you caught eye of the acoustic six string leaned against the door of her closet, you’ve been practically begging her to hear a song.

for weeks she’s put it off — rudely changing the subject when you’d bring it up, telling you later — you suppose that now she’s finally out of excuses.

she sits upon the cushioned seat of your window’s alcove while tuning the pegs of the guitar and you’re upon your bed, seated upon your haunches. your heart pounds a little bit harder at the pretty picture ellie makes . . dressed in a pair of tight fitted, dark washed skinny jeans and a short sleeved, cranberry red unbuttoned shirt over a plain white camisole. she has another dad cap on today, worn backwards with a few messy strands sticking out from the edges along her smooth forehead.

“ ‘m only gonna play for you, alright?” she smirks, not taking her eyes from gently twisting and thumbing with the pegs. “no singing.”

you whine, body slumping against your mattress. “why not? i’ve seen your journal, you have like a dozen songs—“

without moving her head, she flicks her eyes over into yours, “no . . singing.”

“. . . fine,” you mewl, grabbing your stuffed teddy from your pillow to sit upon your lap and hug.

ellie inhales a breath and adjusts her position, moving her arms and positioning her fingers upon the strings along the fret. “ ‘kay,” she whispers with a sniff. “. . let’s see if you know this one, hm?”

the acoustics of your bedroom have the deep strums of the guitar distinctly ringing in your ears. your lips part in amazement watching ellie’s long, nimble fingers press down on and lift off of the necessary strings it takes to play . .

“gabby!” you gasp and giggle when ellie just smiles and continues playing. “by . . the internet! it’s gabby.”

she’s always thoughtlessly humming along to the melody while sketching in her journal or cleaning her guns. you’d recognize the song if it had been an ant singing it a mile away. flawlessly she blends the tune into another number by the band, one a little more upbeat . . one that has you huffing like an angry pufferfish when you can’t figure it out.

ellie’s smiling, tapping her foot to the steady, unchanging rhythm. “c’mon, you know this one.”

“i don’t.”

when she sees you pout, ellie can’t help but give you a hint . . a tiny one. she murmurs a lyric underneath her breath, head tilting left and right to aid you in the right direction. “i know she wanted . . .”

“. . somethin’,” your eyes brighten with realization. “lovin’, goin’, all the way — just go with it!”

she hums, giving you a nod, “think i’m in the presence of the smartest girl in the world.”

for only heaven knows how long, this game you two play keeps the both of you entertained. ellie finds a new song to play and makes you guess and you get most of them right — most of them. when you’re wrong, she’d hum a short lyric, panning you to the correct answer and . . it’s fun.

you know it’s not the game that makes your blood feel like burning honey racing through your veins to your heart to make the muscle inflate and flutter but ellie . . . day by day, hour by hour, second by second, the feeling seems to intensify when you’re with her. makes you want to scream and gnaw your teeth into whatever’s closest to you, yet . . right now, you settle for squeezing your teddy tighter within your small hands.

and of course, ellie notices . . . she always does. leaning her guitar against the chipped, laminated wood of your vanity, ellie’s eyes zero in on yours and she starts to frown, dark eyebrows pulling in close. you’ve grown quiet — too quiet. “what’s wrong?”

you shake your head, swallowing the knotted lump in your throat.

ellie leans in, legs spread wide, one hand on her knee and the other on her waist. bluntly, she tells you, “you’re lying.”

you shake your head once more and wave her closer, “e-ellie, c’mere.”

she doesn’t waste another second. standing to cross the short distance from the window nook to take a seat down upon your bed and face you, ellie cups your face within her left palm, her own softening with turmoil. you lean into her touch like a kitten starved, grabbing hold of her wrist with both of your hands. “you can talk to me, yeah?” she whispers, lowering her head when you shift your eyes downwards to establish eye contact with you once more. “what’s goin’ on with my girl, huh?” she thought you two were having fun.

when you sniffle — all alarms within ellie’s head seems to blare. are you crying? fuck, you’re crying — shit, why are you crying? what the fuck did she do?

“i jus’ . .” when you speak, your voice is soft and croaky and ellie just wants to die. never has she seen you cry before . . she loathes how this is making her feel. “i don’t want . . . this — us . . to . . change.”

“i know n-nothing is forever and, hm, especially now given . . how the world is but, i think . . . when ‘m with you . . none of that matters and . . you make me feel really, really . . . happy? and . . good and safe and warm and,” you sniffle again, dragging your forearm over your eyes. “i guess ‘m jus’ saying that i like you . . a lot — maybe too much . . . an’ ‘m sorry for crying but i jus’ feel very overwhelmed and i hope you don’t think ‘m crazy.”

with your ending comes trembly breaths and silence from ellie. you don’t want to look up in fear of seeing feelings of disregard and unreciprocated affection swimming shallowly within those eyes of light green you’ve come to adore — think it’ll quite honestly shatter your heart into a million, unmendable pieces. you hiccup and clutch your teddy closer at the sheer thought.

but ellie . . ellie makes you lift your head up so that your eyes can connect with hers . . . and she’s smirking. she wears a sort of cheeky, little grin on her face that makes you feel a burn spread across your nose bridge to your cheeks. “you fuckin’ sap,” she murmurs. “c’mere.”

she pulls you in close and kisses you.

and you’ve kissed ellie a bunch over these past few weeks — over and over. neither of you can’t ever seem to get enough.

having said so, this kiss feels . . different. and be it as it may, your previous, ardor-rooted rant or the past two thousand and one hundred ninety nine days of tension leading to this one in particular being the reason for such, you don’t know. but, you feel it when her hand slides down to your throat, then back up so that she can grab you underneath your jaw firmly and keep you still. usually, she kisses you slowly . . with finesse and lazy pecks — this time, she’s not allowing you to catch up.

you hum and drop your stuffie to knock her hat off and slide your fingers through silky, auburn tufts. ellie squeezes your throat just the tiniest bit harder and your last breath jumps. “e-ellie.” your voice pitches a higher octave when ellie pushes herself forward which causes you to fall back upon your mattress.

you two are a mess.

the sounds that bounces off of your four walls are nothing short of provocative. syrupy, wet noises of your lipgloss smearing across the both of your moving lips, rustling clothes and comforters, short hums, shuddering breaths, and soft whispers.

your tongue delves inside of ellie’s mouth when hers do yours. you taste sharp mint and light weed and it’s — intoxicating. nothing short of rousing that has the ends of your nerves electrifying and your legs slowly widening to allow her hips extra space. “i can’t stop . .” ellie whispers through a breath, taking hold of your wrist and pinning it beside your head to the bed. her voice sounds the slightest bit whiny. “c-can’t fuckin’ — why is it so hard for me to stop?”

you whimper and intertwine your legs around her waist as if honeysuckle on a wire. “then don’t,” you respond with bated breath, gazing up into her eyes. “i don’t want you to.”

ellie’s eyebrows are angled low and her lips are pulled into a straight line. she looks angry. “don’t want me to?”

you move your head from left to right slowly, “. . nuh uh.”

then that’s all she needs. she kisses you once more, fighting to use the toe of her right shoe to kick it off of her foot then again to the other. when you hear the topple of them falling onto your hardwood flooring, you seem to melt deeper into the springs of your mattress, loosening your limbs for when ellie decides to take both of your wrists and pin them down while tracing a sticky line of kisses from the column of your throat to your tits that sit up nice and full within the bustier of your white, lace, babydoll mini dress.

“so fuckin’ pretty,” she’s mumbling upon the warmth of your skin, letting your wrists go to trace quivering fingers up the outsides of your thighs to your hips, lifting your dress up. “always look so fuckin’ pretty.”

you help her take it off by lifting up and tossing it over your head when she pulls it. with the dress gone, it leaves you in a simple, salmon pink bra and matching pantie that had been white, printed with salmon colored roses with a lace border and tiny ribbon in the middle.

ellie kneels before you — the both of you still softly panting — and her eyes go a little wide as her eyebrows lift . . then she rakes both of her hands through her hair. the expression is indecipherable.

“w-what?”

she shakes her head. “nothing . . nothing, ‘s jus’,” she swallows. “fuck.”

she’s kissing you again and you smile upon her lips, draping your arms across the back of her neck. “jus’ sweet and soft all over, aren’t you, baby?”

her words makes an array of chill bumps rise along the surface of your skin. her tone is what makes a sudden rush of arousal surge out of you and dampen the crotch of your panties.

it’s a tone she rarely ever pulls out — you’ve heard it only once or twice. when wanting to test out her gun, she had only given you a head shake and little sidle of your name upon noticing your hand reaching for it. a little, ‘don’t . . you fuckin’ dare’ when you had tried it again a few days later. it makes her voice fall about an octave lower . . you want to snivel each time you hear it.

“ellie.” you huff a little breath of cute vexation, little body squirming under hers.

“what?” she whispers within the crook of your neck where her teeth sinks into a slather of flesh there, irritating a blood vessel for just a moment so that a blooming, bruise of dark wine can flourish. “what is it?” she sucks at that same bruise to darken the hue and your words die out on your tongue.

your voice is tinier when you whimper an, ‘oh god,’ heels of your feet pressing into the backs of her thighs to keep her close.

cute. ellie gives you another and another until she’s satisfied with the splotches of mauve and plum tatted all across your neck and chest.

it’s fascinating for her to see that when she finally pulls away from you to hover above, your eyes have glassed over and shine viscid and your little tongue moves against the roof of your mouth idly. it’s a face that ellie has only seen a few times before on an ex girlfriend — can’t help but find the expression that much sweeter and precious on you though. “s-shit,” and she giggles, grabbing you by the face to squeeze your cheeks in just the slightest bit. “got you dumb already? that fast?”

you sniffle and try to shake your head but ellie’s not buying it, not even for a second.

“mhm,” she hums and reaches underneath you to unhook your bra with a simple flick of her finger. “gotta see you, mama . . all of you.”

you allow her to pull it off and she gives a fond sigh at the sight when it’s thrown onto the floor by you both. pretty all over. your tits are warm and soft in the mountings of her palms when she cups them. curiously, she pushes them up a bit to roll the globes in nice, broad circles and watches your eyes close as you inhale a sharp, little breath and tense with the motion. “mmm.”

her thumbs slide across the textured skin of your areolae to the soft buttons of your nipples. you want to explode with embarrassment when she slowly starts to thumb with the precious nubs . . flicking and circling them about like controller nobs yet can only settle for throwing one arm over your blushing face. “ellie.”

she chuckles, soft and low, “cute.”

you feel the gentle, warm puffs of her breath against the swell of your tit before her tongue, nevertheless each sensation makes you give a little cry.

only after giving it a tender kiss, the entire breadth of the warm, pink muscle flattens over your right nipple prior to her wrapping her soft, full lips around it and giving the skin a nice, hard, singular suck that has the flesh popping free from her mouth with a loud bop’ing sound. your mouth drops open around a gape, chin tilting downwards to watch her pretty fingers dimple the dough of your breast between the pads of them to take a firm hold and lazily drag her tongue ‘round and ‘round the bud until it erects and glistens with her saliva.

“oh, god,” you whimper and drop your head back again when she suckles it again, this time holding it inside longer before releasing it again with a gruff, little laugh.

“oh, fuck, that’s precious,” she murmurs just shy of a breath. when she repeats the same act to your left, you think you feel the sap of your desire leaking out from your little hole trickle down the seam of your ass. you feel like a mess. your mind’s hazy and your tongue feels too thick for your mouth. the room’s air has gone thick and muddied with too much carnality and yearning than you could ever bear and — oh, you think. she’s going to literally fucking destroy me.

because ellie doesn’t look anywhere close to being done. her eyes have darkened, leaving behind two, murky pearls of emerald and — really, honestly you want to beg her to take it easy on poor you, show a little mercy.

unexpectedly, briskly, as if a passing thought ellie hadn’t realized she put into action until it was already done — her index and middle fingers slide on either side of your nipples to slot the nub inside the space between them and she squeezes them together with a little pull upwards added in the mix.

the action is so sudden and quick and your . . response is equally as shocking that the both of you are caught off guard. “a-awe!”

“shit,” ellie murmurs, eyes protruding wide. she’s unsure if your reaction was good or not. “ ‘m sorry, baby.” she leans down and lends each one a tender peck. “i‘m sorry.” she’s aware that it’s going to take some time to become acquainted with your body. that isn’t a fact she’s nescient to and she wants you to tell her what you want — what you’d like and what you wouldn’t prefer, regardless of what you think her own reaction would be.

taking her aback, “n- no, no,” you grab hold of her pinkie and ring finger within your fist, eyes wide and soft. “felt . . felt good, ellie. really.”

her eyebrows twitch upwards in interest as she begins to smile, “yeah? you liked it?”

“mhm.”

good to know. she pushes downward, inhaling your sweet scent of roses and clean linen on the way — fuck, how did she get so lucky with you? — kissing a mole there, a tiny scar there, then, “legs up.” she pats your thighs and slowly, you grab hold of the back of your knees, pulling them up toward your chest.

in this position, you’re exposed — everything out for ellie to see. she wants to coo upon seeing the damp patch that spans from the crotch of your panties down to the bottom of your ass. the sticky cotton squishes with moist sounds when she touches you with a single finger. “all this for me?” she can’t help but feel a little touched. how sweet.

you cover your face sheepishly though give a cute nod, feeling one of ellie’s fingers hook inside your little panties to pull them to the side. “oh shit,” the auburn’s eyes glaze over. “look at that.”

your pussy is, quite plainly, a work of fucking art. a fine dusting of curly hairs varnish your mound and lips, softer than satin. ellie has to pull them open with her thumbs to see and have access to your little clit, already hardened and throbbing with carnal frustration, begging for some sweet attention and care. and when she splits the lips right below it open . . she’s sure she’s met heaven, finally.

sweet, dahlia pink, bordered by a darker rouge.

it’s as if she’s pulling back layers and layers that had constantly became sweeter and sweeter until she reaches the center which is not only that precious, sugar coated clit but the hole that oozes your milky essence of bewitching decadence below, as well.

she had wanted to ease you into this — have you breathe, instruct her on what you like step by step, however . . there’s a beat of short, tensed silence and then suddenly, your panties are torn off, flung to the floor and you’re squeaking while ellie has a mouthful of your cunt.

“ellie . . e-ellie!”

she has your hips clutched within the plummets of her hands, securing them to the bed to keep you from moving too much as her tongue delves inside of your core, curling and weaving within your hole to swallow all that you give with satisfied sighs and groans. your taste can only be describe with one word — divine. distantly, ellie thinks she shouldn’t have done this. she doesn’t know when, let alone if, she’d ever want to separate her mouth from you again. you don’t know what you’ve done to her, what you continue to do to her.

your hips buck and her mouth follows, she can’t get enough.

your eyes feel as if they’re stuck within the back of your head. you’ve never experienced a sensation so . . . fulfilling. spending these past few nights letting your stupid, little brain push you through a downwards spiral thinking about ellie and her eyes and her hands and her smile and her tattoo and her lips against yours has left you with only the feel of your own fingers or edge of your pillow — never enough . . too many nights you’ve been left unsatisfied, pussy aching and weeping for something more.

this is perfect. you can’t help but tell her, voice enchantingly broken and quiet as you hold your legs up higher, “ ‘s . . s-so good, ellie,” you gasp and let them go to take hold of her hair in one hand and bite the flesh of your forearm on the other. “f-feels . . so good.”

her eyes lift to yours, wanting to see your face . . needing to see those darling facial indications she’s coming to learn that you’re too shy to proudly display.

popping off of your pussy with a slick puckering sound, ellie then reaches up and grabs your arm to pull it away from your mouth. “ ‘s jus’ us here right?” she whispers, trying to break through that fuzzy little barrier your brain had subjected you to after far too much pleasure being hit on your body back to back. still, ellie waits for you to nod — mom out at the stables, tommy and maria probably at their own home or on patrol, the house was quiet. “then lemme hear you . . stop fuckin’ hidin’ alright?”

you nod, cute nose wrinkling to sniffle, “h-hm, i’ll try.”

“you will.”

her name leaves your mouth through a whine, “ellie.”

“you stop or i stop. ellie’s givin’ you one last time.”

she’s serious. she’s dead fucking serious and you know it. pouting, you tip your head up and down, agreeing to her terms. you stop or she will.

ellie hums with content upon your soft agreement, tracing the pad of her middle finger down the line of your slit where she traces faint, pretty hearts upon your clit, watching your cunt clench and dribble another flow of sweet cream that leaks out your hole and down to the star shaped pucker beneath. “you ever put a finger in or no?”

timidly, you nod, “only one.”

“just one?”

ellie keeps her eyes on your expression when she slowly pushes her middle finger in ‘til the hilt of your warmth. there’s a paining ache between her own legs once she feels how desperately you try to suck her in, how tight you grip around the singular digit as if begging her to not let go. “poor baby,” she hums with a click of her tongue, watching you hiccup and knock your knees together, squishing your cunt between your thighs.

her finger is so much longer than yours — she reaches something that has you seeing stars behind your closed eyelids. “e-ellie, ‘ve never felt—“ your words get lodged within the vessel of your throat once she pulls her finger out halfway then pushes back in ‘til the knuckle. a sound you’ve never heard escapes your mouth — something in the midst of a sob and choke.

“shit, there you go,” ellie mumbles, palming her other hand over your tummy to feel it tremble. “there it is. c’mon.”

she slips in her ring and your trembling thighs compress around her wrist. despite your body’s obvious efforts to get her to take a breather, ellie’s stronger. she starts to stroke her fingers in and out without a single issue and is surprised to hear you finally give a precious, hard, little sob that appears to literally erupt from within the core of your chest. “oh g-god, ellie . . f-fuck.”

you sound so cute — so sweet, she can’t help but chuckle as she rubs your tummy. “so sensitive, baby,” she coo’s softly, watching her fingers reappear soppier and dewier with each pull outside your pussy. “doin’ so good for me though. so . . fuckin’ good.”

when her lips wrap around your clit, gem shelled tears drip off of the lower line of your lashes to roll down your temples. she’s turning you into a mess. a dumb, little mess who can hardly remember her own name. hers is the only thing that rings through your mind when she shoves her fingers in deep and dense within your tiny pussy and flicks them up and down steadily, letting the both of you hear the soppy wetness that resides inside of you — that drips out of you, viscid and thick, piling at her knuckles, dripping down her palm.

her lips pull at your clit prior to her tongue laving across it. she performs a half circle that snaps in to the left midway with the tip of it — ‘e.’ two vertical lines — ‘l’ ‘l.’ another line with a nice kiss to that sensitive little pearl to dot it — ‘i.’ and one more ‘e.’

you’re hers. you’ll always be. you’ve always been. from here on out especially until time defies you both.

your orgasm shocks you both.

you feel it curling cruelly within the root of your tummy the longer she snaps her fingers up and down inside of you. the vulgar, wet sounds blare harsher and — you don’t know what’s going to happen and it starts to scare you. “ellie . .” you’re crying, hiccuping because, still, it feels so good. you don’t know what to do. “els, p-please.”

she starts to thrust them again — in and out, in and out and you’ll never get used to the feeling, neither feeling. ellie’s playing you like her guitar . . tuning and picking and pressing and it’s truly only a matter of time until the cushions of her fingers find the bundle of nerves and flesh angled deep inside you near the roof of your cunt and your release manifests as a sticky spray of wetness.

ellie releases a sharp breath and you squeal — snapping your thighs harder around her arm, fighting to make it stop.

and she’s always been quick-witted, acting on motion instead of brains half the time.

she shoves your legs open and encloses her mouth around your pussy to swallow it all. you can only gape at the audible gulps she gives, body involuntarily twitching as her tongue still occasionally strokes over your clit, gingerly coaxing it from its hood. “oh my god.”

she pulls off with a loud ‘ah!’ . . as if she had gotten done with an entire bottle of water on a hot day and gives a soft smack to your pussy, wiping her chin with her thumb. “fuck,” she pops it in her mouth to suckle what’s left of you. “ that’s fuckin’ good.” when she looks up at you, at your pretty, awe’d face, it’s hard for her to keep from smiling. “. . . i can — i mean, if you want,” she clears her throat, now seemingly bashful. “you wanna taste?”

you do. no delay, you’re reaching for her, grabbing her by the shoulders of her shirt to pull her up and on top of you and earnestly, you kiss her. the flavor that resides on the mat of her tongue can definitely be defined as a tangy-saltiness . . not bad, but it’s ellie underneath that makes you kiss her even deeper, grabbing her in by her waist with your legs and pinning her there. “don’ wan’ you,” you murmur between pecks. “to ever . . leave.”

“i won’t,” ellie’s answer is instant and true. she’s softly snickering, looking all flirty and cute as she knocks your foreheads together, inhaling your exhales and letting you do the same for hers. “i swear . . . i won’t.”

beneath your veins is still a buzzing warmth. you stare at ellie’s lips while weaving her hair between your fingers and she sees it in your eyes that lay half-lidded and hazy. you’re not satisfied, yet — close, but not quite. “you want more?” even so, ellie asks. needs you to tell her outright. “hm?”

your fingers scratch soothingly through her scalp and you’re nibbling on the index nail of the other one before you nod.

ellie licks her lips, “i have this . . . this thing — fuck it, i’ll just show you.”

you watches as she gets up to walk to her backpack that sits on the stool in front of your vanity. propping up on your elbows, your view is just of the back of her as she unzips it, digs around inside, grabs something, and turns back around to display it to you.

“oh.”

your eyes grow wide because in one of her hands in a black harness, completed with long, adjustable, buckle adorned straps and in the other . . is a dark blue, silicone dildo, decorated with jagged, curving veins tracing around the circumference of it and two, firm balls below. it’s about eight inches in length, with a smooth curve upward, and girth fat enough to rival your forearm. you sit further up, staring at the two items wordlessly.

“we obviously don’t have to,” she tells you softly. “i don’t . . wanna pressure you at all—“

you grab onto her wrists when she goes to shove them back inside her bag. “—no, no ellie . . uhm, wait.” your face grows warm. it’s hard to disregard the weird blend of interest and want that bubbles within your chest. “i think . . i wan’ it.”

ellie doesn’t move for a while. her eyebrow raises and eyes run over every single detail of your face — as if she were scanning for even just the slightest display of doubt, however, when she doesn’t find it, “. . you sure?”

“mm,” you nod slowly. “yeah, ‘m positive:”

you are unable to refrain from staring as ellie undresses — dropping her shirt then camisole which leaves her in a plain, black sports bra, jeans quick to follow. freckles, freckles, freckles. they’re everywhere. on the soft mounds of her breasts, the deep etches of her abs, along the smooth, muscled skin of her thighs . . you’re sure your eyes embody the shape of hearts when you see more of them all over her back. “my grandma used to tell me that freckles were products of angel kisses,” you tell her softly with a pretty smile on your face. ellie’s tightening a band on her waist, head angled down to make sure that the strip was to her level of comfort and without lifting it, she looks up at you through her hair . . . staring at you for a moment before huffing a little laugh. she’s blushing.

“you know what? fuck you,” she murmurs with no true intent behind it, listening to you giggle. she’s trying to hide her eyes beneath her bangs. “i swear to god, i’ve never . . blushed this much until i met you. feels like ‘m fuckin’ ten all over again.”

you’re laughing even harder upon realizing something, “w-wait, ellie . . hold on—“

her face goes even more pink as she shakes her head, “—i know what you’re going to ask and no i don’t carry this shit around in my bag everyday, do you think i’m insane?” honestly, coincidentally, when stopping by her place to grab her guitar after her patrol earlier, she had caught eye of the unadorned, austere shoebox buried deep within the back of her closet that held her strap and packed it as a last minute type thing — not that she even planned for all this to happen, however . . the tension brewing between you both these past couple days especially has been palpable. ellie can’t say that she’s really surprised by you guys’ current predicament.

there’s a peachy blush hanging high upon your cheeks when your laughter settles. ellie rolls her eyes, stepping closer to you when the ties of the harness are all pulled tight. “c’mere.”

she lifts your legs up, bending them at the knees for when she climbs upon the bed between them and as opposed to what you had expect, she kisses you delicately. “i want you to tell me if this hurts okay?” she conveys quietly, using her fingers to brush a few loose curls of hair from your face to get a good look at you. heaven shines in your eyes, bright and dazzling. ellie sees the sheer amount of faith and trust you hold within them — faith in her . . that she’ll treat you well, make you feel good.

her heart feels like it’s back flipping. why are you so sweet? so perfect, so kind, so gentle?

you’re her own, personal slice of nirvana and ellie doesn’t ever want to let you go.

smearing a mix of both of your conjoined saliva over the fat head of her cock doesn’t seem like enough lubrication for ellie, albeit, when she dips her fingers inside you — meeting little to no resistance and so . . much . . fucking . . wetness — she thinks that you two should be good.

and you’re eager for her. so fucking eager.

she doesn’t want to tease you for a second longer, so with her eyes fixated upon yours . . hardly even blinking, she sinks in . . . nice and slow.

an array of emotions fall across your pretty face. your eyes immediately snap closed the second the tip pops past the first cord of stubborn muscle — eyebrows push in deep and you whine, all low and pained. “ ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry.” ellie’s going to pull out, however, your quivering thighs are fastening around her hips, keeping her still.

“no. keep going,” you whisper quickly, eyes still shut. “c’mon, els.”

ellie’s wavering between two decisions, frown pulling on her lips. fuck.

even slower, she continues . . half an inch at a time. your thighs are shaking harder and harder, your nails are sinking into the skin of her biceps, and your face . . . ellie isn’t sure she can continue but you’re telling her — hiccuping and whimpering, mumbling about how ‘you’re a big girl . . you can take it.’ you’re killing her.

“fuck this, ‘m pulling out—“

“—if you pull out, i’m goin’ to choke you, ellie.”

“look at your face, you’re in pain. the fuck am i supposed to do?”

“keep going until i say stop—“

it’s an honest to god slip up. ellie had gone to lift up on her knees and pull her cock out of you, contrarily one of them is slipping on your comforter and she ends up burying the last couple inches inside of your stretched pussy with a firm snap of her hips. you gasp, legs fastening so tightly around the auburn’s hips, she’s sure she’s going to be bruised there for the next couple days and ellie curses out a sharp ‘shit!’ “oh, fuck,” she pulls out halfway. “f-fuck, babe, i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry—“

your legs are quite literally pulling her back in as a truly, gorgeous, long moan crawls from the base of your throat. “m-more,” you whimper, turning your flushed face into your pillow. “e-ellie, god, more.”

you feel full of her. so, so full and it’s perfect — better than perfect, incomparable.

you don’t want to open your eyes because you know the picture you must paint underneath her, already empty brained and delirious. nevertheless, impatient and achy, you lift your hips, trying to push more of her inside her, whining her name, when she doesn’t move, “ellie, please.”

“alright, alright, baby” she utters underneath her breath, widening her own legs to acquire an easy, unhurried momentum. “we’re gonna start off slow, you hear me?”

you’re nodding, pulling her closer to feel her skin against yours and bury your face within the arc of her neck. you don’t care about anything else, just her and more. and it’s already so much. when she pulls out all steady and pushes in nice and slow, you feel your hands trembling upon her back where you hold onto. “oh my god,” you hiccup, tucking your face deeper within the bend of her neck. “oh my . . god.”

ellie hums, deep and dawdling, “feels good?”

you can’t form a reply, only a darling, little gurgle of her name mixed with ‘please don’t stop.’ seeing you so drunk off of it already sparks something deep within ellie’s gut — something twisted and a bit depraved. your voice is so whiny and pitched and you grip her tight . . it all does something to ellie’s fucking brain. makes her want to pin you and keep you both here until the ends of your lifetime, hearing those same sounds on nonstop repeat.

she has to pry you both apart an inch so that she can angle her head down and look between your bodies to watch her dick slide in and out of your puffy cunt — glide getting easier with each thrust, coming out glossier and glossier than the last. a cold shiver runs up ellie’s spine at the sight, she swears she can literally feel your squeezing, little heat hugging her cock tight . . walls dragging against the veins like you didn’t want to let go. her hands curl into fists within the pillow underneath your head as she chokes out a low, shaky, “oh, f-fuck.”

“faster, ellie, please?” she hears your voice all tiny and sweet and lifts her head to look down into your tear-silken eyes, big and bright. “c-can take it . . promise, i pinkie promise—“

ellie scoffs a breathy laugh, “yeah?” not taking another second to think it over, she lifts your legs a little higher and pulls her hips back to swing them swifter, harder against your pelvis which sends the thick crown of her cock nudging right at the soft alp of your cervix. “yeah? keep beggin’ for it.”

you choke on your next breath, hands switching to hold onto your thighs as ellie pushes your legs just a bit further up to obtain a quicker momentum. she’s so deep — you feel your brain leaking out every thought, every word, every stress until there was nothing. you’re focused on nothing but the feel of your swollen pussy getting battered into the way that you know you’ve been needing all this time. you’re incapable of words — only arching your back and keeping your trembling legs open for ellie to take and take and take.

the springs of your mattress start to squeak underneath the constant push and pull of your conjoined weights and distantly you can hear a firm thumpthumpthump of your headboard knocking against the wall. it’s all so . . lewd, so ribald.

ellie wants to laugh. how a sweet girl like you who likes to plant flowers, make her own lipglosses, thinks of freckles as angel kisses ended up in the hands of her? she’ll never know.

“fuck, you’re takin’ it, baby,” she whispers, brows linked upon the view of your pussy working around her cock. fattening up and squelching each time she thrusts in, squirting little quips of slick when she pulls out as if weeping for her to come back.”jesus christ — takin’ every . . fuckin’ inch.”

you look so pretty underneath her — rays of gentle tears dripping down the surface of your temples and soft cheeks, neck and chest covered in tender lovebites that you gladly seem to show off when involuntarily curving your back upwards into a graceful semicircle upon ellie hitting a spot especially good. she has to kiss you.

she lowers her head and captures your lips within hers, swallowing your moans and cries and pleads, digging her fingernails inside the thick wood of your headboard when between your lips, you hiccup out a delicate, “y-y’so pretty, ellie.”

you make her sniff a little laugh and slow down the rhythm of her hips to shallow, slow grinds. “fuckin’ quit it, babe.”

she lifts up on her knees, stops, and gazes at you for a moment. you want to shy away . . feeling utterly barren and out for her to see — the only things remaining on your body being your rings, hair bows, and frilly, ankle socks.

“come here,” ellie murmurs, dragging her hips back carefully to pull out.

your pussy releases the silicone with an adorable pop, gaping around nothing but cool air for a moment and the sudden, empty feeling makes you wince, makes your heart drop for half a second when ellie pushes your left leg on top of your right’s to move over and — where is she going?

the auburn shushes your incoming whines and whimpers, laying down beside you to mold your back into her front, “such a crybaby,” she mumbles prior to holding her fingers to your lips. “c’mon, open up for me — there you go.”

you take hold of her wrist to lay the digits of her middle and ring finger upon your tongue and suck. ellie’s eyes fixate on the plumpness of your lips working around them, watching as you simply lay there when she starts to stroke them across the pad of it, trickles of drool dripping past the seams and down your chin. ellie pushes them a little deeper, “oh god,” she whispers low in her throat when you take it . . no gagging. “fuck. like my fingers that much, baby?”

you love them — can’t go a day without staring at her hands play with her switchblade, tune her guitar, or grasp onto the hard plastic of her playstation controller.

deeming her fingers good enough when tiny rivers of your saliva start to dribble down her palm, ellie uses her left arm to lift your leg and hook the back of your knee within the crook of it to give you both a nice view of when those same, wet fingers start to play with the puffy, bright pink nub of your clit. “oh, shit,” ellie’s breath hits the shell of your ear and her lips grazes it as she speak quietly. you hear her smiling. “you like the circles?” she rubs easy, steady halos over it. “or up and down?”

her other arm is underneath your head, cushioning your neck. you hiccup when she does both again . . grabbing hold of that single hand draped near your face within the both of yours. “mm—“ you sniffle. “i d-dunno.”

“yes you do,” ellie mumbles, sliding her wet fingers along the insides of your lips, dipping the tips inside your hole, then pulling them back up to touch your clit again — she’s mindlessly playing with your cunt . . as if doodling, silly drawings on a piece of paper. “c’mon.”

she smacks it, nice and firm and your hips buck.

“circles?” she repeats slower, pulling your leg further back to use her middle finger to trace faint rings along your throbbing bulb. “or up . . and down?”

she’s so mean. when did she get so mean? you’re pouting when you shyly admit, “c-circles, ellie,” into the inked skin of her forearm, closing your eyes and hiding your face when ellie breathes out a calm, drawled, “now was that so hard?” before you feel her cock pushing back inside of you.

the stretch — you don’t think you’ll ever get used to. you feel ellie intertwine her hand within yours as you tense.

“jus’ relax, mama,” she whispers, starting to rub those dizzying, little circles on your clit that you’ve come to adore. “that’s it . . ‘s my fuckin’ good girl. jus’ relax for me.”

you’re melting, body loosening and pushing back into hers as she reaches the end — balls pressed firmly against your pussy.

“there we go.”

working back up to your previous pace comes quicker than before. ellie’s begun to realize that slow isn’t what you prefer — or rather, not right now. you need her hips slamming into the soft, fat cheeks of your ass until ultimately, unwittingly . . you start to pull yourself forward, you need ellie pinning you where she wants you, taking out days and weeks and months of bottled frustration upon your body.

the sound of skin meeting skin is loud — it quickly overpowers the volumes of your squeaks and cries. “ellie—“

she thinks this may be her favorite position. holding you close with just the right amount of strength to keep you still when needed, feeling how hard you grip her hand, watching your cute, little toes curl in the fabric of your sock, your tits bounce and recoil from the sheer amount of brawn from her pounds, your face.

“a-awe, shit,” ellie buries her face within the pocket of your neck, eyes closing as she tries to find some self control. “fuck. fuckfuckfuck.”

your pussy’s squelching so loud, creaming and dampening the sheets below you both — getting both of your thighs filthy and glossed. your other hand reaches for ellie’s hair, taking a nice grip as you arch and weakly babble out, “think ‘m gonna . . . e-ellie, ‘m gonna—“

“—yeah, go ahead,” she pants quietly underneath your ear, sliding her hand from your breast back down to your clit to stroke. “give it to me. make a mess, beautiful. c’mon.”

the room goes quiet for a moment, save for the constant tempo of the springs groaning and skin clapping. ellie gives a soft peck to your cheek, muttering softly on half a mind, just as gone as you are, “p-prettiest fuckin’ girl ‘ve ever met — so perfect . . makes me so f-f-fuckin happy, god—“

you cum with her name buried on the inlay of your tongue, piercing your nails into the thin skin of her knuckles as your cunny squelches out little sprays of cream around her cock that immediately start to gather at the balls.

“there you go,” ellie keeps rubbing your clit, coaxing it all out as you writhe and jerk, biting down on the skin of her forearm. “little more — give me jus’ a little more . . atta’ fuckin’ girl.”

you’re crying . . hiccuping and whimpering, voice pitched an octave, “s-so much . . ellie, ellie, please.”

the next few seconds pass in a blur. you hear nothing but the beating of your racing heart in your ears but you feel ellie pull out and her body is slipping away from yours. you want to sob at how empty it feels, however seconds later she’s back, harness gone, leaving her in nothing but her sports bra and tight briefs. she sits up against the headboard and effortlessly lifts you up between her legs upon her chest, shushing you sweetly. “give it a minute, baby . . just breathe with me, alright?”

you’re sniffling so hard that your body jerks with the movement and the both of you are holding one another so tight that it’s enough to slowly begin to ground you.

“nice,” ellie hums, wiping your cheeks with her thumbs. “keep breathing . . know that was a hard one, but you did so fucking good for me though.”

you give a little blub, nuzzling your face into her chest and squeeze your arms tauter around her torso. your heartbeat starts to slow and with the new, settling calmness comes a feeling of fatigue. ellie starts to rock you, left then right, looking down to admire the warmth that still resides on your cheeks and tip of your nose, your pouted lips and wet, spiked lashes. you’re fucking unreal.

“we gotta get some water in you.”

you’re on the brink of sleep when ellie starts to pull away again. lowly you croak and hold onto her even tighter than before, “n-no, ellie—“

ellie grabs you by the chin and kisses your lips, effectively quieting you down. “only for a minute, babe.”

you hesitate, nonetheless you let her go to climb from your bed to your door which she opens to exit out of. as dramatic as it sounds, a minute away from her feels like an eternity and by the time she’s back, carrying a full glass of water and pack of spicy, smoked jerky, you feel a lifetime older. “you’re so pouty,” ellie mumbles, sitting down beside you to tip your chin up with a finger and hold the glass up toward your lips. “try to drink as much as you can, alright?”

given the amount of crying and cumming you did . . ellie’s sure you’re going to be dehydrated come these next couple of days. however, like the good girl you are, you finish the entire glass with a satisfied hum, wiping your wet lips with your fingers as ellie sets it down on your nightstand. “fruit or a proper meal would’ve been better,” she tells you while ripping open the pack of jerky with her teeth. “but . .” her laugh is soft and raspy. “ ‘m fuckin’ tired and didn’t feel like cutting it up so, c’mon. open.”

you tear off a piece of jerky with your teeth, letting the realization dawn upon you that you hadn’t made sure she was okay while you chew. you cover your mouth, eyebrows furrowed as you speak, “are you sore anywhere? oh my god.” instantly, your eyes start to catch on the little scratches your nails made within the skin of her hands, the bite marks on her forearm and neck, the incoming fade in of a few scars on her hips.

“ ‘m fine,” ellie swears by it. “babe, i’m fine . . . if anything, you look worse than me.”

examining both of your bodies allows the pair of you to identify just the amount of strain that six years of pining can do to a person. you giggle as ellie shakes her head, a look of subtle disbelief on her face. “literal insanity,” she says lowly. “never a-fucking-gain.”

you tilt your head, grinning cutely, “never again . . ?” your interest is piqued. “is there someone else you’ve been keepin’ an eye on for six—“

ellie snatches you by your leg, making you squeak and erupt into a fit of giggles as you fall back on your bed, no longer sitting up. it leaves her above you, a smirk playing on her pretty, freckled face as eyes of deep, transfixing green stare down into yours. something swims beneath them — abysmal and warm, rich and dark. “please,” she utters, inching in close to align her lips upon the soft, smooth skin of yours. “ ‘s only you . . . always will be you.”

❤︎ — all rights reserved ! © poutsiez !

[elorawrites]

i see i’m not the only victim to writer’s block.. wishing it goes away to all who are suffering right now 😭

[elorawrites]

nsfw content; minors dni! strap-on sucking w ellie<3

thinking about ellie rn, and how easy it is for her to be mean during sex. she takes every opportunity possibly to tease you, whether that be through her actions or words.

sure, it was normal for her to make you beg, laying gentle strokes over your clothed cunt until your panties were soaked through, and you were crying out for her to at least give you something— but, sometimes, when she really wants her fun with you, she goes the extra step.

leather harness strapped around her hips, hanging low, heavy black dildo attached to the front. she’d merely grin down at you when you looked at her hesitantly with glossy eyes, the plastic tip barely even an inch away from your pouting lips. your knees burnt into the woods floor beneath you, lavender bruises already beginning to blossom agaisnt your soft skin.

“c’mon, baby, don’t be shy. just give it a little kiss for me.”

and of course, you would, always eager to please. a little kiss soon turned into something more, however, rosebud lips wrapped sloppily around the plastic, taking the strap deep down your throat.

tears would prick at your inner corners as she gives a sharp thrust, so obviously getting off on the way you looked taking the dildo as if it were like she had a real cock. even when you’d gag pathetically around the silicone, she wouldn’t falter, just continuing to push your head down further by her fingers tangled in your hair.

when she did let you pull back for breath, however, you’d spend the time mumbling something along the lines of, “want to taste your pussy instead, els. lemme make you feel good.” followed by a stream of theatrical tears down your pinkened cheeks.

her hands would smooth down your face soothingly, a chorus of ‘shhhh’ leaving her mouth. her eyes glistening with lust as her thumb would drag over your bottom lip, wet and glistening with your saliva that matched that on the dildo attached to her.

“i know, baby, you’ll get your chance. my poor, dumb girl just wants to help me properly, huh?”

and all you can do is nod desperately, clawing at her bare thighs, inching towards the bottom of her boxer shorts.

“please, ellie! i’ll do anything.”

“keep sucking on my cock, first then, silly baby. then i’ll think about letting you taste me for real.”

[elorawrites]

true blue. (two)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: both ellie and reader are u-haul lesbians and there is a jump scare

warnings: SMUT! suggestive themes, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: this chapter... idk it has me giggling and blushing.

read part one here!

Ellie felt like throwing up.

After finding out about your history with Cat, she decided that it would be best to only talk about the project with you. She knew she came off cold, but for some reason she didn’t care. When it came to Cat, Ellie almost always shut down, and when it came to the idea that Cat may have also stuck her tongue down your throat, Ellie felt physically sick. A part of her felt bad about having feelings for you, but another part of her was deeply disturbed by the fact that you were into Cat. She also didn’t like that you still had the photo up on your Instagram.

A part of her also knew that she was being dramatic, but the less rational side of her was winning over at the moment. She found herself ranting to Dina about it almost 5 times a week, or everytime they smoked together. At about three hits in, Ellie was already ranting about you and your pretty hair and your pretty lips and how they were tainted by Cat. Like clockwork Dina would roll her eyes, rip the joint from Ellie’s hand, and diffuse it in the ashtray they made at Color Me Mine. 

“You need to get over this, man.” 

“I’m trying.”

So here Ellie sat, writing the second part of the project in your dorm and refusing to make eye contact with you. You almost instantly noticed an immediate shift in Ellie’s demeanor when it changed weeks ago, but you were at your breaking point. At this point it almost seemed that anything you did would annoy her, or whenever you spoke she would act shocked as if she forgot you were there. Not only was it extremely aggravating, but it was also getting in the way of the quality of your project.

“Did I do something?” You questioned, breaking the silence Ellie was enjoying causing her eyes to shoot up to yours. Yeah, you fucked my-

“No.” She grumbled as she continued writing. 

“Are you sure? Because the first day I thought we got along really well, and sometimes I just say everything that’s on my mind and I don’t realize I’m doing anything wrong until well-” You gestured to her with an almost panicked look on your face. “This.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just tired is all.” Ellie mumbled as she went back to her work, pretending to not pay you any mind. All you could do at this moment was roll your eyes and try to get back to work without anxiety overcoming you. 

“You’re just like my fucking ex.” You mumbled under your breath as well.

“What?” Ellie snapped her head up at you, unsure if she heard you correctly. Because if she had heard you correctly, you were comparing her to Cat.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, this time it was your turn to avoid eye contact with her. 

“No, you had something to say so say it.” She continued, her voice rough. This time you looked directly in her eyes, something behind them she just couldn’t place. 

“I said, ‘you’re just like my ex’. Happy?” You gave her your best fake smile and went back to your work. It had never occurred to Ellie that maybe you hated Cat as much as she did. The difference between you and her, however, was that she would never keep up a photo of her making out with Cat for over a year.

“What does that mean?” She snapped with an almost immediate need to defend herself. 

“It means that things were nice at first until you started being an asshole with no real explanation of what I have done.” You answered simply, shrugging your shoulders. 

“I didn’t do that.” Ellie lied.

“You totally did!” You protested. “We were vibing, you were like telling me about your life and I was telling you about mine and you were fucking laughing. Now, you don’t even crack a smile.”

“I smi-”

“You do not, Ellie!” You took a deep breath before starting again. “I thought we were going to be friends. I wanted to be friends. You’re funny and hot, but you’re being a real bitch right now and I don’t like that. I’ve done it before and I really don’t have the heart in me to do it again.”

Ellie blinked at you a few times, the guilt from giving you the cold shoulder finally setting in. A part of her really wanted to blush at the compliments thrown her way, but she was overwhelmed by the idea that her behavior was mirroring Cat’s. You really were an innocent party in all of this and she took her frustrations out on you, the cute pen dealer. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been going through a tough time.” She lied, not wanting to reveal that the person you’re comparing her too right now is the reason she’s been acting this way. “ I know what that’s like, my ex was like that too and I didn’t mean to do that to you.” 

She saw your hard exterior falter at her sentiment and the guilt inside Ellie began to build again. 

“I had no idea, Ellie, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to push but if you ever want to talk about what’s going on, I am here.” You seemed completely genuine and that tore Ellie’s heart to bits. In an attempt to be kind you reached out and placed your hand on Ellie’s forearm again, right over the tattoo. “Plus, he didn’t deserve you.”

Ellie couldn’t help but snort at the comment, earning a confused look from you. 

“She.” Ellie laughed. “She didn’t deserve me.” 

You covered your hands with your face laughing at your own heteronormativity. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” You apologized, moving your hands from your face to stare at her freckled own trying not to burst out laughing again. 

“You really couldn’t tell?” Ellie teased, gesturing to her forearm tattoo, earning a giggle from you and a red face from her.

“I mean, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.” You teased back. “She’s smart, she’s funny, and she likes girls? Nuh-uh, too good to be true.”

As funny as the situation was, Ellie felt a deep warmth at your words. She wanted to believe you were flirting with her, but as of two minutes ago you had thought she was straight. 

“Good with her fingers too. The whole package.” She added, a dimly lit fire behind her eyes. 

“Oh yeah?” You feigned surprise. “I wouldn’t know. She should show me.” You leaned forward, pushing your laptop to the side table and getting dangerously close to Ellie.

Ellie almost choked on her own spit as you leaned closer. She eyed you up and down, her eyes lingering a little bit longer on the space between shirt and skin where she could see your cleavage poking through.  

Without hesitation, Ellie threw her notebook to the side, leaned in and captured your lips with hers. You reciprocated immediately, your tongue trying to fight it’s way into her mouth. She parted her lips for you causing a moan to slip out of your mouth into hers. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, Ellie’s mind was racing. What the fuck was she doing, she thought. Not even an hour ago she was barely talking to you and now the sounds that were coming out of your mouth were about to make her come undone. Her hands wandered down your body, tracing the curves of your hips before slipping under your shirt. The feeling of her warm hands on your skin sent shivers down your spine.

Again, you moaned softly into her mouth as she teased your nipples, rolling them between her fingers. Breaking the kiss, Ellie moved her lips down your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. Your hand moved to caress her hair, grabbing it lightly. She gently moved you backwards on your bed, never stopping her assault on your neck, not wanting your whines to stop. She was going to lose her fucking mind. As she worked her way down, her hand slipped into your pants, finding its way to your wet center. She began circling her fingers in what felt like slow motion as she peppered kisses along your collarbone.

“Ellie..” you moaned, causing her to look up at you. The minute she did, you pulled her head upwards, attaching your lips to hers once again. Ellie felt like she was fucking floating, but her movement never stopped. As she picked up her pace she reveled in how you were squirming beneath her. She made a mental note to remember this moment for later.

With practiced ease, Ellie slipped a finger inside you, eliciting a gasp from your lips and causing you to separate from her. She pumped in and out, curling her finger just right to hit the gummy spot inside and making you scream out her name one more time. “You’re doing so fucking good.” Ellie soothed, pressing a kiss to your neck. You writhed against her hand, your hips bucking in rhythm with her movements.

As your pleasure built to a crescendo, Ellie added a second finger, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Finally, you couldn't take it anymore and you came hard, your body shaking with pleasure.

Ellie pulled her hand out of your pants, licking her fingers clean with a satisfied smirk on her face. Your body relaxed into the bed as you tried to catch your breath. She sat back up, nearly panting, but still soaking wet.

“Well, that was quite the show,” you managed to say between gasps. Ellie grinned and leaned in for another kiss before sitting back on her knees. “Looks like you'll have to show me what you've got too, baby." 

-

E: I FUCKED HER.

D: WHAT????

D:.. who?

D: if it’s cat i’m going to go to wherever you are and break your rib. 

E: Not Cat. 

D: YOU DIDN’T.

D: cute project partner?

E: Yes.

D: it’s giving u-haul lesbian

E: It’s giving best sex of my life.

D: really??

E: REALLY. And I did all the work.

D: you are a freak

E: She’s so fucking hot… I don’t know what to do with myself. 

E: I can’t do this project with her, I’m just gonna think about finger fucking her the whole time.

E: I miss her.

D: oh my god

D: get a grip

E: I’m TRYING.*(@HFh3uq9)(U

D:...

D: anyways.

D: are you coming to the party tonight?

E: I will be there.

Later that night Ellie found herself tucked into a sweaty frat party. Dina and Jesse really wanted to go and Ellie was still somewhat disoriented from her morning with you so she thought there was no better place to sober up. She was nursing a red cup with a brown colored liquid inside when she almost keeled over at the sight in front of her. There you stood in an impossibly tight dress, throwing back the very same gross drink Ellie had in her cup. Ellie looked around for any sight of Dina or Jesse but assumed they had found a quiet spot to make out and grind on each other for the rest of the night

She watched from the wall as you threw your hands in the air and started dancing to the very loud music with your friends. You were obviously drunk, but it was still nice to see the carefree side of you that she wasn’t able to see in the classroom. In your dorm room, however-

“Ellie!” You screamed across the dimly lit room, stumbling towards her and bringing her in for a tight hug. Ellie tried to say your name as enthusiastically as you had hers, but her voice got lost as you pressed your body up against hers. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, the giddiness in your voice shining through. You were standing ridiculously close to her with your hand on the wall behind her, right above her head. You were smiling as wide as you possibly could and Ellie couldn’t help the smile on her face that grew each moment she was in your presence.

“Looking for you, obviously.” She teased, eyeing you up and down causing you to giggle into the crook of your neck. Her hand moved up to pinch at your waist, her eyes now steady on yours. 

“Aw, look who’s all confident after fucking me.” Your smirk, coupled with the already free flowing alcohol in her system, caused her to laugh. “We’ll see how confident you are after my turn.” 

Ellie swore you were going to kiss her, and you almost had if it wasn’t for your name being called behind you by your friends who gestured at you to come. You turned to look at them and nodded before you turned back to Ellie. 

“We’re going to another party? Want to come with?” You asked, hoping you didn’t sound as desperate as you felt. 

Ellie sighed, looking around the room for Dina but seeing no sight of her. What Ellie did know was that Dina wouldn’t leave the house without her, and it was an unspoken rule that she would never leave the party without Dina. She wanted to leave with you, but girlcode takes priority.

“I can’t.” She responded. “I’m with friends and I can’t leave them.” Ellie hates to admit this, but she took great pride at the sight of your face falling. 

“Oh well, see you Monday.” You somberly replied, waving goodbye and running to join your friends. 

“See you Monday.” Ellie said under her breath, practically to herself as you were already out of sight.

Ellie found herself upstairs after that, searching for Dina and Jesse so she could go home. However, she found someone she wasn’t looking for, or rather, they found her.

A cold hand tapped Ellie’s shoulder, causing her to turn around in relief that Dina had found her.

“Dina, thank go-” Her words got caught in her throat as she saw her ex standing in front of her with a sickly sweet smile on her face. 

“Ellie! So good to see you, I see the tattoo is healing?” She began, ignoring the dirty look Ellie was throwing her way. 

“What do you want, Cat?” Ellie spat. It was evident that Cat wasn’t being nice, and Ellie wanted her to get to the point. 

“Well, I just wanted to say how cute it was that you would flirt with my ex to make me jealous.” She disclosed, the smile on her face strong.

“I wasn’t trying to ma-” 

“It worked, I’m jealous.” She simply stated, moving closer to Ellie. Ellie was frozen, never in a million years would she ever think that Cat would be saying any of this. She leaned in close to whisper in Ellie’s ear. 

“Swing by my dorm room tomorrow, my roommates are gone for the weekend.” She pulled away from Ellie, smiled again, and patted her on the chest before walking away back into the party. 

And to be completely honest, Ellie wasn’t sure what she was going to do.

[elorawrites]

true blue. (one)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie has a new philosophy: don't fall in love and you won't get your heart broken. ellie also has a really cute new friend. ellie admires some birds in this chapter idk if thats significant

warnings: 18+ (as a general rule for this series and my blog as a whole) suggestive themes, eventual smut, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: i am hoping to make this a series if enough people like it and want me too... i really appreciate support and feedback through asks and replies/reblogs, it all means so much to me. also i have this whole thing planned out and i plan for it to be very messy hehe... i love drama idk

This year was going to be different.

At least that’s what Ellie told herself as she gripped the straps of her worn out backpack. All of the classes her and Cat had planned to take together this semester she had quickly transferred out of by the end of the summer, causing her to rack up an impressive list of classes on her schedule nobody wanted to take. 

“Fuck,” Ellie cursed under her breath as she rushed towards the building her literature seminar was in. “I’m going to be so late.” She was practically cursing herself for waking up so late that morning, her bed seeming much more welcoming than the professor who had 1 star on ‘rate my professors.’ She knew she had fucked up, but at this moment she didn’t really care.

As she made her way down the chestnut lined hallway, she frantically checked the door numbers on each door, cursing each time the door number didn’t align with the one she was supposed to be in. When she did find her classroom at the end of the hallway, she had to steady herself with a few deep breaths before entering. Throughout all of this, however, one thought rang clear through her mind: Fuck Cat.

Ellie never really liked to refer to herself as heartbroken, but that was the nicest way she could put the state that Cat had left her in. Ellie always knew she liked girls and while she had many crushes, and a few kisses, Cat was her first real girlfriend. She was the first person to hold Ellie’s hand in public, post lame birthday posts on Instagram, and the first person to give her an orgasm. But if she was being really honest with herself, her first orgasm belonged to her own hand.

Cat had served as a turning point in Ellie’s life and up until this point she was almost certain�� that she had been in love with her. Almost. There was always this sinking feeling that whatever feelings she had for the girl was most likely orchestrated by pure hormones. She couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was that made her feel that way, but there always seemed to be something missing from their relationship. 

Little to Ellie’s knowledge, however, was that was just who Cat was. She made you feel like you were on top of the world, the only person in the universe who could cure her ills, and the only person who got her. She made you feel special, and at the time, that was exactly what Ellie was craving. She needed a person who looked at her like she aligned the stars, and that person was Cat.

Until it wasn’t. Quickly towards the end of the summer Cat got bored and all of the love notes Ellie had written her were quickly discarded within an hour of reading them. She continued to pull away until there was no trace of her left in Ellie’s life. To make matters worse, she broke up with Ellie over text, leaving her dazed and confused. There was nothing left for her to do except to run to Dina’s house and cry in her lap. She hated how pathetic she looked as Dina stroked her hair and shooed Jeese off with the flick of her hand. It was safe to say Ellie was completely over relationships.

Fuck Cat, she thought again, but decided that it being a thought wasn’t enough.

E: Fuck Cat.

D: yea fuck that bitch

Deciding that the text had done enough to calm her nerves, she pushed through the threshold into the classroom. She must’ve not realized how intimate of a class this was when she signed up for it because as she entered all ten of the people in the room now locked eyes with her, and the old man sitting at the front of the table threw her a disappointed look.

“Ellie Williams, I presume?” he questioned, looking at his roster in front of him.

“You do presume.” She awkwardly answered, only receiving a chuckle from a girl sitting at the far end of the table. Ellie looked up to see who it was that laughed at her poorly timed joke but just saw you trying to hide the smile on your face by pretending to write notes.

“You can sit at any open seat, I was just discussing the syllabus.” He told her, his tone sharp. 

“Okay, thanks.” Ellie mumbled under her breath, moving to sit at the open seat next to you considering you seemed like you might be the friendliest person in this room. She quickly moved to get her notebook out but internally cursed herself out for the fifth time that day because she completely forgot her pencil case in her dorm. She decided to save herself the embarrassment of asking if anyone had a pen, so she just continued to ruffle through her bag even though she knew it wasn’t there.

“You looking for something?” you leaned over to whisper to her, still causing her to jump back slightly.

“Yea, a pen?” She whispered back, laughing under her breath to pretend like she wasn’t completely embarrassed right now.

“Here.” A black pen balanced in between your fingers as you offered it to her. She sheepishly thanked you before taking it, making sure your fingers didn’t touch. 

“There will be one main assignment in this class as you can see on the syllabus.” Ellie, obviously not in her element, looked around at all the packets each person was holding. As if you could sense the nerves on her, you shoved your packet in between the both of you, pointing to the assignment the professor was discussing. 

“It is a partner based project and since there are only ten of you I hope this won’t be an issue.” He continued on. “And as you can see it is worth 60% of your grade.” Fuck this, Ellie thought to herself yet again, and fuck Cat too, she added for good measure.

The rest of the 90 minute class went as well as you could imagine, Ellie only having to stop herself from falling asleep three times. When the class was over and she began to collect her things Ellie looked over to where you were stuffing your laptop into your backpack. 

“Hey,” she managed to get out, her fingers fidgeting with her rings. “Would you want to be partners for the project?” 

You let out a breath of relief smiling both to her and yourself. “I would love that actually.” 

“Ok, good.” Ellie chuckled to herself about how nervous she was over something so small “I thought you might’ve thought I was like super unprepared or something since I was late and the pen.” Her eyes widened the pen. “Oh shit, your pen.” Ellie moved to take her backpack off and give back your pen but you abruptly stopped her by placing your hand on her forearm. Your hand right over the very spot Cat had tattooed. 

“Keep it,” you offered her a genuine smile before handing your phone over to her “and put your number in here.” 

Ellie may not have noticed it but she blushed. A part of her knew you were just being kind and you needed her number to work on the project but if this was any other setting this would be considered flirting. Ellie nervously took your phone in her hand and inserted her number and name with a little planet emoji next to it. When she handed the phone back to you she scanned your face for a reaction, smiling to herself when she saw your very own smile. 

“Ellie,” you looked back up at her “nice name.” All Ellie could do was let the tips of her ears turn red as she thanked you. When you offered her your own name and she repeated it back to you, she liked the way it felt on her tongue. She wondered what you wou- No, she wasn’t doing this again.

“I’ll text you tonight about getting started.” You informed her, now slinging your own bag over your shoulder.

“Looking forward to it.” She stated simply, her own feet planted to the floor.

“I presume you are.” You replied with a giggle before turning around and leaving Ellie feeling fuzzy.

Fuck.

The rest of Ellie’s day was uneventful to say the least. She saw a few birds eating a sandwich and thought it was cute, but besides that (and you), her day was boring. She was hoping that this year would be different, that she would be miles ahead of where she was when she met Cat, but she knew she was just worse. She wanted anything, a rebound, a distraction to pull her mind off Cat but all she could do was stare at her ceiling and try not to cry. Or that’s what she was doing until her phone buzzed from it’s place on her stomach.

Y: hey, it’s me

E: Who's me?

Y: pen dealer, duh

E: I thought dealers were supposed to be more discreet.

Y: you know a lot about dealers?

E: I’ve seen a few movies.

Y: nothing is like the movies, be fr

Y: anyways, do you want to meet up to discuss the project tomorrow? we could meet at beans?

E: Yeah, sure. 10?

Y: sounds good, bring cash

E: For? I use apple pay.

Y: for the pens… it was a joke nvm

E: Dumb joke.

The next morning Ellie had to drag herself out of bed so she wouldn’t be late to meet you. She groaned as she watched her roommate sleeping peacefully in her bed while she so desperately wished it could be her. For some reason that she couldn’t place, Ellie found herself smoothing down her hair and checking her teeth in the mirror. She even sprayed some perfume before she left, coughing as she accidentally inhaled some of the liquid. Why was she doing this again?

She saw you through the window of the coffee shop, leaned over your computer screen lost in thought. You tucked your pen between your lips and Ellie couldn’t help but feel like a freak staring at you from the other side. You looked so at peace with your hair tied up and your eyes carefully scanning the screen. Ellie wondered what it would feel like to not have a million things going through your mind at once. 

When she approached you she made a mental note of how your eyes lit up when you saw her. You had known her for a second and you had already looked at her with more adoration that Cat did towards the end of their relationship. 

“Hey, customer.” You joked, as you watched Ellie sit down across from you. 

“You don’t know how to let a joke die, do you?” She questioned jokingly, a warm feeling in both her face and her chest.

“I do not.” You said matter of factly.

The two of you discussed the project, throwing in occasional conversation and jokes when the material got too daunting. After about an hour had passed and the two of you were already feeling burnt out, Ellie suggested you take a walk around campus to “get some fresh air” and “clear your heads.” In reality, she was already growing tired of this project and just wanted to hear your voice ramble on about something other than American Literature.

It was a cool day, and the slight breeze caused both you and Ellie to squint the entire time. There was something so calm about the energy between the two of you. It wasn’t passionate or overwhelming like it was with Cat, but comforting. It was lulling Ellie into a sense of security, but she knew it couldn’t last long. 

“Where are you from?” Ellie spoke up. “Did you grow up around here?”

“Close-ish, I guess.” You answered. “I’m from a town north called Star Valley.” 

“Oh shit, you’re right by Jackson.” Ellie exclaimed. 

“Yea, you’re from Jackson?” The idea that you too lived this close and this was your first time meeting almost seemed criminal to Ellie.

“Yeah, me and my friends grew up there. I’m originally from Boston, though, I moved there with my..” You gave her time to speak, it being painfully obvious she was going to have trouble explaining the situation. “Like my dad? He’s not really my dad, he’s just Joel.” She decided to dumb down her complicated relationship with him for the sake of time. You, however, did not try to get any information out of her, or immediately try to get her to be vulnerable with her like Cat did at the beginning of the relationship. You just smiled at her and continued on with the conversation. 

Ellie liked this. She liked being able to have a conversation with a pretty girl that didn’t make her feel like she was tearing herself open just to bond with you. You two were just bonding in the simplest way people could. The sick and sinister part of her, however, was telling her to leave immediately. To avoid the trouble that another heartbreak would bring her. 

That part of her was starting to win over slowly as she remembered the promise she made to herself. She quickly excused herself and told you she would text you about meeting up again to work on the project. Her brain was telling her run, run, run, but she could tell you were still standing there staring as she walked away towards the direction of her building. 

Later that night, after a cool shower and a few hits of her pen, Ellie found herself ranting to Dina over text again.

E: I’m so fucked.

D: what???

E: I’m working with this really hot girl on a project for one of my classes and today we were walking together and it all seemed normal, like toooo normal, so I left. Like I no joke was like “Bye” mid conversation and LEFT HER THERE. What is wrong with me?

D: what happened to ‘i’m never talking to another girl again’?

E: I’m not.

D: …

E: I’M NOT.

E: IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER SHE PROBABLY THINKS I’M A FREAK FOR RUNNING AWAY TODAY

D: true

E: ?????

D: idk why you would do that so i’m not going to lie to you

D: i would think you are a freak

E: Ok, fuck you.

D: what does she look like?

E: Hot. 

D: oh yes thank you for painting such a vivid picture

D: SEND A PICTURE YOU FREAK

E: You are so mean to me.

Ellie felt the need for validation so she did what any normal person would in that situation: she went to instagram and typed in your full name. To her surprise, there you were, smiling as bright as the sun in your profile picture. Ellie suddenly felt like a kid again scanning through your photos, blushing and smiling to herself as she looked at you, losing focus of her original motive. She didn’t realize how far she had scrolled down until she was stopped by the sight of a familiar face. In a post dated over a year ago it was you kissing another girl. 

And that girl was Cat.

[elorawrites]

affinity - part 2

ellie williams x fem!reader

themes: angst, pining, best friends, unrequited love, love triangle

summary: after drunkenly confessing your love to your best friend of five years, you try to move on from her, but your best friend has other plans in mind.

a/n: i think this one is horrible, not my best writing, but the words were just flowin outtttt. this is also very dialogue heavy so my apologies if yall arent into that

word count: 4,204

2/3 | affinity - pt 1

taglist: @sawaagyapong @katiemars @friiida-xx @elorawrites @eringaitskill @helaenaswife @3lliesrifle @elliesconverses @koolguysyndrome @muthafuckingstargirl @whteflwcrs @j-money777 @jolieetoile @elliewilliamsmunch @frasersgf @rumirim @siesie2 @starhrtz @mcu-junkie @yookayyo @viswifetotallyreal @franreadss @catostrophiclesbian @parkersmyth @tweecunt @ilovebasketball3333 @bigmoodyjoody @silhxvette

was i in heaven?

the question pops into your brain, as you truly thought you’d be dead in a ditch after the number of drinks you had last night. you made a mental note to thank dina later today for putting an end to your drunken endeavors from the night before. 

blinking your eyes open, your eyesight adjusting to your surroundings, you realize you are not in your own home at all. you’re at ellie’s, familiarizing yourself with her bedspread and decor. you sit up, wincing and holding your head, the pain throbbing in your skull at the sudden movement. 

sitting up properly, you scan your surroundings and your eyes stop at the sleeping figure on the couch. ellie was fast asleep on the cushions with a thin blanket covering her body, chest rising and falling at every gentle breath. 

in the past, you and ellie would have no issue sharing a bed and sleeping together, as you’ve both done it a thousand times before. you’d usually wake up first, and spend the morning staring at ellie sleeping, which you were thankful she never caught you doing or else she’d never let it go. you were always enticed by the way she looked while sleeping, she was out of her element and relaxed — different from her usual reckless personality.

now, ellie slept separately from you and you could only assume it was because of her new relationship with cat. closing your eyes and recounting the events from the day before, you shook off the tears forming in your eyes. god, so much for trying to forget about her. 

standing up quietly, careful not to wake her up, you pull on your shoes and make your way towards the door, opening it slowly and exiting from her shed before gently closing it again. you let out a sigh of relief, beginning the walk back to your own house. shading your eyes away from the rising sun to decrease the intensity of your pounding headache, you lay out your plans for the day.

okay, so i definitely have to shower ‘cause i reek of booze, and then i have to get ready for patrol in an hour, and then- you stop in your tracks, remembering you had patrol today, patrol with ellie. smacking a hand over your forehead, you make a note to stop by the tipsy bison to talk to maria about switching partners.

making it to your house within minutes, you rush to the bathroom and peel your clothes off to shower. the feeling of the warm water hitting your skin and relaxing your muscles was incomparable. it was a small slice of self-care you look forward to every day, as privileges like showers during an apocalypse was something hard to come by. 

cleansing the grime off your body, you step out of the shower and pull on some clothes for patrol — a long sleeve, jeans, a thick jacket, and a beanie. pulling on your boots and slinging on your backpack, you head out your door, remembering your keys this time, and make a beeline toward the bar. 

jackson early in the morning was something you’ve grown to love when heading out for patrol. the way the rising sun peeked over the edge of the trees, waking up the rest of the town, it always set a positive tone for your day. it was certainly one of the second-best things about this town, number one being a girl named ellie williams.

entering the bar, the bell tinkling as you opened the door, maria turns and smiles once she sees it’s you.

“just the girl i was looking forward to seeing,” maria greets, holding her broom in one hand and holding out one arm. you smile and give maria a side hug, “g’morning,” you mumble.

“so, how was last night?” the older woman queries, and you let out a groan of embarrassment. 

“don’t even remind me,” you beg, “i don’t wanna think about that at all, i’m still dealing with the consequences.” you rub your head, the throbbing still present. 

“well, it certainly was a sight for sore eyes,” maria chuckles, “anyways, don’t you have patrol in—” she pauses to check her wristwatch, “thirty minutes?” 

you nod, “that’s actually what i wanted to talk to you about.”

“uh, oh. this can’t be good.” 

“i just want to switch partners. please. put me with anyone. anyone but, ellie.”

maria sighed, “why? i mean, i’ll do it for you, but why?” 

“i just don’t think i can be around her anymore. ellie’s my best friend, well was, and i don’t wanna get in the way of anything,” you say, choking back tears, attempting to distract yourself by fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of your shirt. 

the older woman peered her eyes at you, thinking for a moment before speaking again. “okay, fine. you can be partnered up with jesse and ellie with dina.” 

you let out a breath of relief, “thank you, maria. i owe yo-“

“on one condition.”

you narrow your eyes at her, suspicious of what her condition entailed, “….okay.”

“try talking to ethan. i think you both would be good together.” 

“ethan? the stableboy?” 

maria nods, “yup. talked to him yesterday and he may or may not have a small crush on you. poor kid was blabbering on about how badass and brave you are for going on patrol and all that shit, and that you’re real pretty doing it all.”

you let out a laugh, cheeks flushing red, “okay, sure. i’ll— uh— give him a chance.” 

bidding maria goodbye and heading towards the front gates for patrol, you couldn’t help but think of what she said. ethan? the shy stableboy? crushing on you? you were flattered to say the least.

shaking your thoughts off, you make it to the stables and walk over to sunshine. ethan was already there, securing her saddles and brushing her brown coat. 

“good morning,” you greet, approaching him. he lifts his head up in surprise, a smile settling on his face once he realizes it's you. 

“oh hey, good morning,” he says in a sweet voice, “she’ll be ready in a few, just getting her all ready for you.” 

“no, no— uh— take your time,” you sputter out, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to rush you or anything. just wanted to say hi.” 

what the hell was this? the 5th grade? why did you suddenly feel nervous talking to this guy? ethan smiles at you, a dimple poking out from his cheek. was that always there? 

“no worries,” he says coolly, “i’m glad you came over here. was hoping to see off the prettiest girl in jackson.”

your cheeks are warm and your face is red. is it getting hot in here? 

from the corner of your eye, you see jesse, giving you the perfect excuse to escape from ethan to calm down a bit. 

“i’ll be right back, i-i just need to talk to jesse.” you walk off quickly before he had the chance to see the tomato that was your face. 

approaching jesse, you poke him on the back and he quickly turns around, preparing to sucker-punch the person who dares sneak up on him from behind. 

“well, if it isn’t the little monster.” he gives you a cheeky smile, letting his fists fall down at his sides. 

you roll your eyes, “please, i don’t even wanna know how you came up with that nickname,” you breathe out, “anyways, we’re patrol partners now.”

“says who?”

“says me.”

jesse rolls his eyes as you let out a laugh, and joel and tommy gather the rest of the group to make some announcements and set the agenda for the day. from your peripheral, you see ellie appear a few feet away from you, adjusting her jacket and backpack. she probably overslept, evident from her disheveled clothes and her hurried state. 

the two brothers dismiss everyone to leave for patrol, and you see ethan walking towards you with sunshine. he hands you her leads, brushing his hands against yours. 

“see you after patrol?” he asks smiling at you, his dimple popping out again as he tilts his head to the side a bit. how cute.

“yeah, definitely,” you smile and he nods, putting his hands in his pockets and walking back toward the stables. when he disappears from your view, you see dina speaking to ellie, causing her to turn and look your way.

you quickly turn away, praying she didn’t catch you staring. as you and jesse leave for patrol, you couldn’t help the forming pit in your stomach, hoping that you made the right decision. 

that’s how the next three days went. you avoided talking to ellie, you talked to ethan at the stables, and you spent your time patrolling with jesse, which was mayhem in itself, but you tried to focus on the upside of it all.

however, ellie was growing annoyed by the second, fed up with you doing everything in your power to avoid her. 

“it’s like we weren’t best friends for years!” ellie vented out, the sound of the snow crunching beneath her boots as she strolled alongside dina, giving the horses a break.

“granted, she was in love with you for almost the entire duration of your friendship,” dina commented. 

ellie glared at her, “yea, but still— she could’ve talked to me or some shit. instead, she ignores me.” 

deep down inside, ellie felt guilty. blaming everything on herself for how things turned out. even though you never did admit your feelings directly, while sober, she should’ve seen the signs. ellie could only imagine how you felt— constantly having the person you loved for years telling you about their own romantic pursuits. it made sense why you took off the day she told you she was planning to ask cat to be her girlfriend, you were hurt. 

“it’s fine, ellie,” dina attempts to reassure, “besides, i’m sure she’ll be over it by the end of the week.”

“wait— what do you mean?” ellie stopped walking, hanging onto every word that dina was saying. 

“well- you know- um,” the darker-haired brunette stutters, “how would you feel seeing her with someone else?”

fire ignited in ellie’s veins, anger flowing through every vessel in her body. what the fuck? was this your solution? using some other person to get over your feelings for her? were you actually fucking serious?

“what are you saying, dina?” her fists begin to ball up, restraining the urge to punch a nearby tree trunk. 

dina’s eyes widened, realizing there was no hiding the secret now as ellie would’ve definitely found out sooner or later. ellie was perceptive and persistent, and would’ve bugged everybody in town if it meant finding out the truth about someone making plans to date you. 

“so, this is a funny story,” dina laughs nervously, “a little birdie told me that they set one of the stable boys up with her.” 

if you squinted your eyes and looked close enough, you could see the smoke coming out from ellie’s ears. she was infuriated. 

“who?”

“ethan.” 

“christ! fuckin’ ethan?” ellie yelled out in frustration, dina in the background grimacing from the sudden increase of volume in her tone.

“keep it down, will you? you’re gonna attract every clicker within a five-mile radius,” dina snapped, gaining another glare from those green eyes. 

“ugh,” ellie groaned, “this is a mess.”

“why does it even matter? you’re with cat, doesn’t this make everything easier actually?” dina asks, “the possibility of her being with someone else?”

ellie’s chest tightened. the very idea of you being with someone stirred something inside her guts. maybe it was the thought of them seeing your smile every day that made her sick to her stomach, or seeing you laugh til’ your belly hurt when you watched your favorite 90’s sitcom shows on VHS. it could also be the notion of someone holding you close when you watch the first edition of ‘nightmare on elm street’ because you get terrified every time you watch it that made her want to puke or — was it thinking about someone seeing the intimate parts of your body that did it instead?

“i-i don’t know, okay?” ellie says, “and, i’m not with cat.” she clarifies, hoisting herself back onto shimmer’s saddle. 

“huh? but didn’t you tell-” 

“i know what i said, but i’m not with cat.” ellie cuts dina off before she had a chance to interject again, “it’s time to head back. c’mon.” 

the journey back to jackson was painful for ellie, for she wanted nothing more than to see you and talk to you. every minute she was apart from you, she imagined ethan trying to win you over, swooning you with his corny jokes and suave pick-up lines. god, she was gonna be nauseous if she thought about that horse-boy one more time. 

making it back in due time, ellie and dina entered through the tall, wooden gates. ellie was quick on her feet and rushed off to find you, seeing that you were already back from patrol and that you were walking into the garden — your favorite path to cut through. 

ellie calls you out by your name, making you turn around but once you recognized who was calling for you, you cursed under your breath and walked faster. 

“hey!” ellie yells out, “i need to talk to you!” 

your feet pick up the pace, angering her even more. just as you were about to pass the bushels of purple hydrangeas, you felt a hand yank onto yours.

“stop runnin’ away from me! will you?” ellie breathes out, winded from having to chase after you. 

“sorry— i, uh—” you weren’t sure what to say, “i just had a long day.” 

ellie stares at you for a moment, “bullshit. why the hell do you keep fucking avoiding me?” 

you took your bottom lip between your teeth, a telltale sign of your anxiety forming, and if you didn’t look so damn gorgeous doing that surrounded by all the flowers, ellie swore she would’ve fallen to her knees and begged for your forgiveness right then and there. 

“i just— i made a decision that was necessary for our friendship.” 

you couldn’t look her in the eyes, knowing all the feelings you’ve managed to push to the back of your brain would come flooding back and the butterflies would flutter about in your belly again and your heart would pick up like you just finished laps around a football field.

“so, that’s it?” ellie’s voice is laced with bitterness, “we just forget about those five years?”

you stay silent, eyes focusing on the layer of snow covering the ground beneath your feet.

“you know, you can’t just fucking tell someone you’re in love with them and— and never speak to them again!” 

your ears perked up, “what are you talking about?” 

“that night,” ellie walks closer to you, “that night you were drunk, you told me you were in love with me.” 

fear settles into your body and you didn’t know what to say at that point. 

“that’s why i never went through with it. asking cat to be my girlfriend.”

you drag your eyes up, looking at her, and your brows draw together in confusion, “why not?” 

now it was ellie’s turn to be tongue-tied, “i-i don’t kno—wait, this isn’t about me!”

“what is this even about, els?” the way the nickname you had for her rolled off your tongue was enough to turn ellie williams into a puddle. it was unorthodox how ellie’s body reacted to every single thing you did, did this always happen or did she just now notice this?

“so, it’s true then? you’re in love with me?”

you hesitated before responding, unsure how she would react to your answer, “it doesn’t matter.”

“why not?”

“because my feelings don’t— they don’t matter,” you reply, irritation growing apparent in your tone, “what matters to me is that you’re alive and healthy and happy, even if it means you being with someone else.” 

ellie’s chest felt like it weighed 500 tons. she didn’t know what to do. she wanted to cry, she wanted to envelop you in her arms, she wanted to brush the hair from your face and hold your cheeks in her hands, she wanted to yell at you and tell you that your feelings were just as important and that your wellbeing mattered too.

but she stayed put, allowing her emotions to get the best of her. 

“and what about you? are you happy with ethan, huh? does he make you happy?” a devious smirk creeping on her face with a subtle mocking inflection in her words. 

“that’s not fair, ellie—” 

how she fucking hated it when you said her full name. to you, she was els. your els. 

“how?!” 

“becaus—” you were about to rip one into her, releasing your true, unearthed feelings that were bottled up over five years, but you felt your hand knock into someone’s nose as you had this horrid habit of talking with your hands when you were extremely emotional. 

“auggghh!” ethan groaned out in pain, holding his nose in agony. 

“oh my god! ethan!” you rush over to him, putting your hands on his face to get a look at the damage. streams of crimson flowed down his nostrils, dripping down to his shirt. 

“i’m so sorry!” you apologized, and the boy attempted to smile but cringed instead. 

ellie rolled her eyes, “no, she’s not.” she muttered, only loud enough for you to hear, inciting a glare from you.

“don’t worry about it. it’s fine,” ethan said, his voice sounding congested, “i should’ve made myself known before approaching you, but i came here because i wanted to ask you to dinner tonight— with me, at the diner.” 

ellie watched the smile grow on your face and the faded pink fan across your cheeks, and suddenly the world went silent, your lips mouthing the words ‘yes’. watching you wrap your arms around ethan and guiding him towards the infirmary, ellie couldn’t help the lump forming in the back of her throat — wishing it was her taking you out to dinner instead. but she had to stand back and watch you with someone else, a habit you knew all too well. 

- 

ellie williams never considered herself a heavy drinker. she was more of a social drinker at most, only drinking one or two beers maximum when there were the usual parties and get-togethers in town. but when you force yourself to watch the girl you love laugh at some smelly horse-boy’s jokes, you needed all the alcohol you can get.

hearing your laugh resonate through the air, ellie took another swig of bourbon, the spicy liquor burning her throat. 

“what the fuck could he be saying that’s so funny? huh?” ellie spat, the glass banging on the table, provoking a flinch from jesse and dina. 

“well, he’s actually kind of—” dina’s cut off by the incandescent scowl from her penetrating green eyes, “yea, no, he’s terrible.”

ellie’s head couldn’t grasp what you saw in ethan. were you attracted to his looks? he’s a 6.5 at best, is 5’6, and he’s slim. he’s also nice and friendly. but surely, ellie was better. 

she knew she was more attractive, at 5’7 with a fit physique from all those hours training in combat and getting in her workout during patrol. she also was kind, funny, and intelligent. however, ellie knew she would be better for you than ethan. she knew you like the back of her hand, she could protect you far better than he could if a situation were to arise, and she could make you feel good, in more ways than one. 

which is why when she spotted you and ethan preparing to leave, she knew this was her opportunity to get you alone, and also to cock-block him so he doesn’t end up trying to make a move and kiss you — an idea that would immediately make her see red.

“where you goin’ this time?” jesse asks, noticing ellie stand up, taking one last gulp of that liquid courage.

“to get my girl back.” 

jesse and dina looked at each other, mouthing a quiet ‘finally’ as ellie marched out the door, hoping she could catch up to you and horse-boy. 

spotting you and ethan strolling down the trail, she catches sight of ethan’s hand trailing up to the small of your back. 

do not fucking touch her.

ellie called out your name, causing you and ethan to turn around and stop in their tracks. slowly jogging towards you, “hey, can i talk to you?” she breathes out, winded from her slow run, “alone.”

“um, sure.”

ellie glares at ethan, and as ethan prepares to but in, insisting he can stay nearby, your hand gently touches his arm, “i’ll see you tomorrow bright and early before i leave for patrol. okay?” 

ethan reluctantly nods, “okay,” and he leans in to peck your cheek, “goodnight.” he gives ellie one last look, throwing a smirk her way before he leaves the two of you alone.

god, ellie never wanted to beat someone’s ass so badly.

her anger quickly falters once she glances at you again, looking beautiful as ever in your beanie and scarf with your cheeks all red and rosy from the chilly air. 

you clear your throat, snapping her out of her thoughts. “here, i’ll— uh— walk you home.” 

as you both begin your slow stroll, the tension is awkward and silent. you both didn’t know what to say. after a couple of minutes of walking in this god-awful silence, ellie speaks up first, “so. how’s it going with ethan?”

“ellie, please. if you’re trying to be sarcastic—”

“no, no, i’m not,” ellie scratches the back of her neck, “i’m seriously asking. not trying to be a smartass or start an argument or anything.” 

you let out a heavy sigh, “he’s nice…and he’s friendly.” you weren’t sure what else to say about him. you didn’t know him that well yet and you didn’t want to admit to her that you didn’t think he was all that cute anyways, despite the dimple.

“yeah? you like him?” 

silence filled the air. you wanted to be careful with what you were going to say next, but ellie had a way to make you feel comfortable enough to open up about things you didn’t want to talk about. it was easy to talk to her because you knew she was actually listening. 

“it’s not that easy to get over you, you know?” you murmur quietly, but you could tell ellie picked up on what you said. “i feel guilty for— i guess using him as a rebound, to get over what i felt for you.”

“what did you feel for me?” 

you scoff, “seriously, els? you’re gonna make me say it?” ellie couldn’t help but smile at the way her nickname sounded leaving your lips. “i had a lot of feelings for you. i mean— we were best friends and you were on my mind all the time. you made my head hurt when i thought about you too much and when i was around you i got those cheesy butterflies in my stomach that people in the movies talk about.” you couldn’t help the small smile that mindlessly crept on your lips when you talked about this, and ellie couldn’t help but feel dumb for not realizing how she felt sooner. 

“why didn’t you ever say anything?” 

you shrugged, “i didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship and lose you. our friendship meant the world to me,” you looked down, fiddling with your shirt again as anxiety built up inside you, “and besides, it seemed like you never saw me anything more than a friend. i was never gonna be that girl. it was always someone else.” 

ellie’s thoughts were running rampant, wanting to say all these things to you and tell you that you were wrong and that you are the girl for her. she wanted to beg on her knees and say she was sorry that she didn’t realize how she felt sooner, and that she was only using other girls to compensate for the fact that she couldn’t have you. but nothing came out. 

approaching the front door, you take your key out from your jean pocket. “well, goodnight, els. i’ll see you tomorrow?”

once more, everything in the world went quiet and all ellie saw was you. you were standing in front of her, so clearly. the small details of your face illuminated by the soft glow of the porch light made you look like an angel sent from above. ellie knew she didn’t deserve you, after everything you’ve been through, after all the hurt she caused for you; but she was dumb if she thought she going to let you go so easily. ellie had to fight for you and she didn’t give a fuck who was in her way.

in one, swift move, ellie wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you in to press her lips against yours.

let me know if you would like to be in the taglist for pt 3!

[elorawrites]

i was waiting so impatiently for this and it’s the best thing i’ve ever fucking read… i need a minute.

Furious Angels

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: convinced ellie was dead in santa barbara, you leave for jackson. oh, how bad of a decision that would've been.

warnings: 18+ smut, fingering, scissoring, pet names, praising, angst, mentions of death, mentions of depression

a/n: @rxllingstones this is for you, my love, don't know what I would be doing if you didn't give me this idea. this idea is also heavily inspired by the song 'furious angels' by emma ruth rundle cause this just fits the entire vibe of that song. plus, she's hella underrated so if you decide to listen, go dive into her other stuff too!

tags: @roarriita, @trilogyss, @elliesflower, @addisonnie, @sparkleswonderland, @frogychu, @prettyplant0, @scandalcus, @@kurosaaki, @elliesstar, @muthafuckingstargirl, @hazelnutsforellie, @elliesquerida, @intrnetdoll, @idkwhattonamethisblogs, @minustwofingers, @elliesbiatch

You should’ve known better.

 It was a thought that stirred itself in every neuron that connected your brain to keep you functioning. Those four words made themselves known to the deepest parts of your mind that they consumed you, ate away at your flesh, and ripped it apart with their claws.

 It was wounding, almost brutal the way Ellie had said them to you. 

“You should’ve known better.” Her words were laced with malice and spat with bitterness so sour that it made the corners of your mouth turn downward, sadness swirling in those eyes of yours. Your lips had quivered, arms crossed over your chest as the hairs on your skin raised so painstakingly slowly, that you rubbed at them to keep yourself centered. 

You were stupid, so foolish, and filled with love for her that your heart ached, nearly bursting into bits, already torn and stitched together countless times that you swore that death would welcome you, arms outstretched, fingers coaxing you into its burning embrace. 

You believed that patience was a virtue, that it only came to those who were deserving enough, who showed just enough perseverance that there was not even a slight chance of rejection for the thing they wanted most. For you, it was Ellie. 

Man, you waited so long for her to wrap herself around you like you were the sole source of life she wanted to devour to feel something. She sucked the aliveness from you, snatching your very soul, harbored deep within the confines of your inner being before absorbing it. You didn’t mind, you loved it. 

When it came to her, you found yourself doing things you usually wouldn’t. Before you met her, you would have never taken someone else’s life, never feel the warm flow of blood, or smell the putrid scent of copper that followed as you guided a rusty blade across someone’s jugular. Although it was inhumane, you had quickly figured out that it was the only way to survive, the only way to defend yourself not from infected — but from others just like you. 

Having blood on your hands — either having been done in defense or merely just for the fun of it — had consequences. Those consequences resulted in the worst butterfly effect you’d ever experience in what little life you had by far, fluttering uncomfortably in the depths of your stomach, weaving between your intestines. 

Sometimes, you’d have vivid dreams, almost as if they leaked out of the reel of film that displayed itself in the foreground, forcing you to merge make-believe and reality into one. The butterflies would arise in your throat as if they were bile, forcing you to spew up your mistakes constantly. They became more frequent when Ellie had walked down the steps of your shared farmhouse, the one she got for you. Your heart crumbled to black ashes, the organ palpitating as soon as the creak of the door hit your ears, solidifying that she didn’t care enough to stay, that she didn’t care enough about you. 

She was right. You should’ve known better. 

From the moment you stood alone in that house, your mind was weighing heavy with the decision to leave. It only intensified in pressure, making your shoulders hunch in such a way that it physically hurt you to stay, to listen to nothing but the muffled chirps of crickets outside the window as you lay in bed, tossing and turning — restless. 

In the first month, the skin under your eyes sunk with lack of sleep, countless nights being taken to sitting near the window downstairs, staring at the vast expanse of trees in the distance, the stars shining brightly in the sky. It reminded you of the time Ellie had begged you to lay in the grass with her, a picnic blanket on the ground, and your hair creating a halo around your head. She had pulled you close to her, caressing the side of your face as your cheek rested on her chest, listening to the way her heart thumped in her chest. 

The second month was harder. You had chosen to go visit Jackson for some human interaction, knowing what it was like to experience what loneliness had to offer, how cold and unkind it could be to those who deemed themselves too patient, too compliant. You had been a victim of it before, the all-too-familiar feeling of hearing nothing but static in place of the silence, the echoes of your sighs bouncing off the walls and right back into your ears. It became a tipping point after Dina had convinced you to move back into the community, reassuring you that if you came back, she’d help you get back onto your feet. She noticed how defeated you looked, how the light that once filled your eyes diminished completely, leaving an unknown darkness in their wake.

You let it spiral into three more months before you found yourself standing on the porch, breathing heavily and vision blurred by tears as you clutched the bags in your hands, knuckles draining color. Waiting was proving to be hard, and you couldn’t help the feeling you got whenever the thought that Ellie might not even make it back, crossed your mind more often than you’d like to admit. Every little thing you did, down to the most minuscule detail had your fingers shaking with anxiety, the blood rushing through your veins so quickly that it numbed you. You had learned to grow desensitized to the idea that anything going forward would end up in tragedy for you. How could it not? 

The love of your life had left you. Ellie had left you to get herself killed, and you were convinced that she had accomplished just that. 

Sighing, you eased your grip on the bag in your right hand, letting it fall to the cracking porch with a ‘thud’ before bringing the back of your hand to wipe at your eyes. Glancing around you, you pursed your lips, the pressure behind your eyes becoming too much once you blinked causing more warm tears to adorn your rosy cheeks.  Ellie was right, she always was. She told you not to wait for her and here you were, bending down to reach for the bag again before tugging it over your shoulder, slowly moving your feet down the steps, the wood groaning beneath the soles of your worn shoes. 

Letting the fresh air replenish your lungs, you walked farther away from the house, focusing on how it’s been three entire months since you had cut the grass, even if it was something that Ellie had done more than you. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that this was the sole purpose for not wanting to take the time to trim it down, choosing to let it grow wild and long so that it reached an inch or two above your ankles. 

The sun was setting on the horizon, a mix of sherbert orange and marmalade pink painting the sky instead of the usual light blue. Night had to be your favorite time of day. It didn’t remind you of the warmness sinking into your skin the day she had left, or the birds that chirped happily when you were anything but.

 Leaving quickly was the best option as daytime was wasting away and night would cause you to struggle harder, stumbling through the chill night air wasn’t something you particularly wanted to do. The knot of unease in your stomach tightened as blades of grass tickled your ankles through the material of your jeans, forming a slight itch that caused you to walk even quicker. 

A sudden voice made you stop in your tracks, head still craned downward, heart racing with quickness at the way it sounded. 

It was nasally, just a tad raspy and hoarse, but it still sounded like her. 

Lifting your head was a hard task as your eyes locked in on a lone blade of grass right by the edge of your shoe, swaying with the wind that breezed through, you ultimately decided against it. You didn’t know if this was one of your vivid dreams, fearing that if you looked up, you’d wake up in bed alone as you had for the last three months. 

Hearing it again, it sounded broken, wavering this time as she stuttered to get the correct words out. She was just as alarmed as you were, having caught you red-handed, bags weighing down your tensed shoulders, a grimace seemingly burned onto your lips accompanied with eyes low and tired. 

“You waited for me?” That small question had sent you to your knees, the palms of your hands slapping to the ground as a sob ripped out from your throat, tears clouding your vision once again. Dirt made its way under the crevices of your untrimmed fingernails, caking them as you dug into the earth. In a way, for you, it was like pinching yourself to see if you were conscious and aware of what was in front of you before your actions determined what would come next in the situation. 

Ellie had kneeled in front of you, her eyes watery as she reached out for you, watching the way your body shook as you tried to regain control of your breathing. When her calloused fingers had gently grasped your elbows, she felt her heart palpitate, the sudden urge to pull you into her chest stronger than any apology she could give. 

Feeling the warmth you held within you, skin still soft and full of life, it had rejuvenated her in a sense — as odd as it sounded. Knowing that you were still here, that you still slept in the bed you had shared with her, tugging her pillow into your chest, nostrils inhaling her scent — was hard for her too. She thought that hurting you was the best option she had, no matter how hard she scanned the dark corners of her brain for any alternatives. Your soul was bound to be crushed regardless, and it stabbed her ten times harder in turn. 

Feeling the vibration of your body in her palms, she let her feet give way, sitting in front of you before gently removing the straps of your bags off your shuddering shoulders, her eyes drowning with guilt.

Placing a hand under your chin, she could feel the wetness from your tears that dripped onto your lap as she urged you to look up at her. When you did, you did so slowly, worried that if you didn’t take the time to drink in her features, to let it seep into your pores and burn itself into your memory, she’d disappear into thin air. 

“A-are you real?” You choked, voice quiet and shaky as you scanned her body, eyes darting across the cuts and small gashes littering her face. There were yellowing bruises decorating her neck, traveling down to her arms in splotches. 

She chuckled dryly, hands coming up to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand, guiding your attention to the two missing fingers on her right hand wrapped in a dirty material of the bandage. “I am, baby. I am.”

Your jaw went agape, the saltiness of your tears escaping into your open mouth as you reached near her face, pulling her fingers toward your mouth as you kissed the three that were left, lips dry and chapped.

“What the fuck happened to your fingers?” She tugged her hand away from you, shaking her head slowly from side to side as she pulled you into her chest, the force of the action sending your torso slamming hard into hers, the both of you flying back onto the grass. 

She could hear the wind as it whistled, the small sniffs you took as you tried to clear the congestion from your nose, eyes tinged with redness and puffy just like hers. You felt her grip around your waist tighten as she gripped the shirt you were wearing in her fingers, pulling at it to feel you closer to her. 

“I thought you were fucking dead.” You murmured in her ear, your face digging into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent you had grown addicted to. “I wanted so long for you to come back home, Ellie.” She could feel your tears trickling down her neck before being absorbed by the thickness of her shirt, rocking both of your bodies side to side as she ran her left hand through your hair.

It only hit her that you were about to leave when she stared at the small duffel bags on either side of her, stuffed with the belongings you had brought when she had convinced you to move out of Jackson with her. She was almost too late. 

“I’m so sorry.” She hushed, her bottom lip quivering uncontrollably, suppressing the urge to let the blur in her green eyes spill over with overwhelming emotion. You had waited those five months on the farm alone with nothing but the comfort of whatever animals this season had brought toward the valley. “I-I promise you that I'm never,”

Leaning back, she cocked her head to the side to look at you. Your cheeks were flushed, stained with tears, the coolness of your breath fanning her face as you slowly lift your head, eyes boring into hers so deeply, her soul ached all over again. This is what she was living for. 

You were what she was living for. 

Her injured hand cupped the side of your face, a painful smile gracing her lips as she watched your eyes flutter shut, cheekbone digging into the palm of her hand, the feeling of your skin on hers. “I’m never fucking leaving you again. Do you hear?” 

All you could do was nod vigorously, your head pounding as you desperately pushed your lips onto hers in a kiss, teeth nearly clashing together when she immediately opened her mouth. She pushed herself into you, letting her tongue dart into your mouth with vehemence, sighing in contentment when you greedily gave in. 

“I missed you so much.” Your words were needy, desperate almost, as you kissed her again, and again, and again. 

She could’ve stayed here with you forever.

“I love you.” Ellie had said those three words to you before, millions of times, but as you stared into her eyes, you knew they meant more than you could ever know. 

“Let me show you how much I love you.” She could tell you were serious, eyelids drooping with arousal and a certain intensity she couldn’t quite place her fingers on. She found herself indulging in your spell, letting you drag her into the house and up the steps to the bedroom. 

The change in atmosphere tugged at her heartstrings as she guided her eyes around the empty room, her feet stopping at the foot of the bed where you had placed yourself. It was no secret that she felt indifferent to your actions. She had prepared herself to come back to vacancy when she had told Abby to leave, to take that little boy she cared so much about, and disappear from her line of vision — from her life. Throughout her long journey back to Wyoming, she had set it in stone that she couldn’t go back to how things were before, but she’d promised that she’d try. 

“I know things are gonna be different,” She started, rocking on the heels of her feet, looking anywhere else but you. “and that you probably hate me.” 

You shook your head, tendrils of hair falling into your face, obscuring your vision. “I could never hate you.” It was a small statement, but it was said was so much confidence that Ellie found herself starting to believe it — even if it was a lie. The auburn-haired girl loved you with every part of her that she didn’t care if everything you’d said to her these past couple of years was a lie, she’d do anything you’d ask her to, say anything you’d want. She’d even beg on her fucking knees for your forgiveness, even though she already had it. 

“I know that now, which is why I feel like an asshole.” She shuffled past you, plopping herself on the mattress, the springs within creaking below her weight. “I didn’t kill her.” 

Your head snapped in her direction, the lines between your forehead becoming more prominent as you lowered your brows further. “What?”

“I couldn’t” She shook her head, suddenly feeling pathetic as she spilled her sins to you. “ She had that boy with her and it reminded me of Joel…” Ellie wrang her fingers together, her right hand hovering over the left as if trying to smooth down the skin, watching from the corner of her eye as you looked at the new bite mark. 

You stayed silent, lips pressed into a thin line before blowing a harsh breath through your nose, hairs within burning at the unforeseen huff of oxygen. 

“That’s how this happened.” She jutted her chin to her right hand, wiggling the three fingers she had left. “She fucking bit them off.” 

“Why?”

“Why, what?” 

You closed your eyes for a second before opening them back up, the words in your head bouncing around before you spoke again, “Why’d you let her go?” 

Something Ellie admired about you was the way you handled certain situations. You were the rational one out of the pair of you, opting to work things out and letting time pass rather than seeking vengeance, willing to take out anyone in your path. The two of you were opposites and yet, she couldn’t help but let the warmth shroud her darkness. 

“That’s not something he would’ve wanted… me killing her.” Gulping, she continued. “And it’s not something I wanted for myself… or you. That kid would’ve come for me regardless.” Standing, she let you process that sentence, making her way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. 

The noise of water rushing through pipes hidden within the walls caused you to sigh deeply, foot tapping against the floorboards to distract yourself from the questions snaking to your temporal lobe until you suddenly remembered the bags outside, seemingly hidden in the grass.

 Once you went back inside, you started placing your clothes back into their rightful place — right next to Ellie’s which collected dust. “You’re not leaving?” 

Startled, you turned to stare at the towel wrapped around her torso, ending right above her knees as water dripped onto the hardwood of the floor. You abandoned the last bag near the closet, slowly making your way to the doorway. 

She looked like a kicked puppy, eyes wide and full of tears as she tried to get ahold of herself, her grip on the towel tightening as she clenched a fistful of the fluffy material.

“No,” You smiled, although it caused discomfort to do so. “I’m staying here with you.”

Ellie wished you weren’t as forgiving as you were, so willing to try again at another chance at your relationship, grasping at the opportunity with fingers so sticky, there was no way you were able to rid yourself of it  — of her.

You could see the tension leave her body, eyes blinking rapidly as she loosened her grip, grabbing your hand, pulling you against her wet chest, bare and scarred. She buried her face under your jaw, nipping at the skin there, feeling your throat hum against her lips. 

“Missed you so much.”

 Her words ignited a fire within the pit of your stomach, causing you to stumble back onto the bed, your hand circling her wrist so she’d fall on top of you, the towel and your clothing being the only thing preventing you from ravishing her. 

Your fingers ghosted up the nape of her neck, pulling her lips closer to yours, pulling at her short auburn hair. Being away from her for so long caused something inside of you to snap and until now, you noticed the tears that endlessly flowed down your cheeks as you wept. 

“Oh, my pretty girl.” She hushed, her fingers dancing down the side of your hip before ending near your naval, lifting your shirt over the valley of your breasts, her head lowering as she began to leave kisses down to your stomach. 

You propped yourself on your elbows for support as your eyes observed her form. It was then that you noticed the dull throb between your legs, resisting the urge to squeeze them together when Ellie’s hands fumbled with the zipper of your jeans. 

She struggled for a second, “Damn, zipper.” 

You chuckled, the lack of air reaching your nose made you sniff slightly, the pads of your fingers brushing hers out of the way so you could do it yourself. 

Looking up, you saw the toothy smile she gave you, averting her gaze down to your white underwear, licking her lips as she did so. 

“So beautiful.” She cooed, fingers coming up to dig into the waistband of your pants before tugging them the rest of the way down your legs, your jeans following shortly after. Her hands immediately sought refuge in the middle of your thighs, thumb rubbing at your clit at an agonizingly slow pace. 

You sucked air in between your teeth, hissing at the sensation of her warm palm cupping you, she continued persistently, finding joy in the way your eyes rolled in the back of your head as you craned your neck sideways, mouth agape. The whines that left you were otherworldly, and she was positive that she was wet from hearing you.

This and the way your body trembled added fuel to the dimly lit fire inside of her, her index finger gathering up your slick before she pushed it inside you, feeling you clench around her when she started pumping it in and out of you. 

Your back arched, focusing on the tenderness with which she touched you, legs spreading wider for her in a means to grind onto her finger. You knew she was looking at you, the heat of her burning gaze stung your skin, your eyes rolling even further when she added another finger.

“Fuck.” The gasp that left you just about made you lightheaded, one of your arms aching from its position behind you, discovering the way to your swollen clit causing your hips to buck an inch or two. 

“You’re so wet, baby. All for me.” Ellie chanted, ceaselessly shoving her fingers deeper into your cunt, slowing them down only to continue. 

“Feels s’good.”

You were close. She could tell from the way your feet lifted as she pushed your hand to the side, replacing your thumb with hers, your tongue running across your lower lip as she did so.

The final time you clenched around her fingers, you came, spilling yourself all over her index and middle finger with a strangled cry. 

She took her fingers into her mouth, sucking at your juices before placing herself between your legs, lips coming to greet yours once more in a hungry, wet kiss. Your hand wrapped around the nape of her neck, ankles circling her hips as a means to pull her closer. 

“Take this off.” You pulled at one of the ends of her towel, her body disconnecting from yours only for a second to lay herself bare to you. Keeping your eyes on her face, you noticed the rosy tint that took hold of her cheeks, shy as ever even though she’s been above you like this plenty of times before. She was deprived, hungry for your touch in the worst possible way that when your nails scratched again the expanse of her back, an animalistic groan left her throat. 

Connecting your lips with hers feverishly, your teeth captured her bottom lip, tugging it outward before delving your tongue into her mouth, hers already at the halfway point. The pair of you just lay there, the once-empty house becoming a home to be lived in again, this time for eternity.

With the upper hand you had, you rolled over, the springs within the mattress squealing as she bounced on top of it, her hair disheveled from the unexpected action. 

You moved a section of hair behind your ear, cocking your head to the side before pressing your bare chest against hers, the skin-to-skin contact sending a jolt of tingles from your head, all the way to your toes. 

Ellie shivered as your lips lingered close to her ear, goosebumps rising on her arms as you whispered into her ear. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby.”

Your left hand went under her leg, raising it so you could move in a position where your warmth was against hers, moans emitting from both of your mouths in unison, almost melodically. You ground your hips into her harshly, appreciating the way your clit kneaded against yours. 

Taking the rare advantage you had, you stared down at her, eyes darting to her lips as she licked them, her saliva glossing the flesh there making temptation too hard to resist. So you bit the apple, lowering yourself to kiss her, tasting all the pent-up want and need that you’d both been neglected all these months. 

Moving her hips, Ellie’s right hand came to slap at your ass, grasping it in her hands as your hips proceeded to grind into hers, your folds rubbing against each other. “Ugh, fuck that’s it right there.”

For the next few minutes, all that sounded in your ears was the wooden floorboards as they creaked under the constant movement of the bed frame, the headboard knocking into the wall obnoxiously loud.

The moans being shared tightened the knot within you as your wetness continued to mix with hers, the pornographic sound becoming heavenly.

“I’m gonna come.” You stuttered breathlessly, collapsing on top of her, the sensation of her arms around you making you feel the safest you’ve ever been since she’d left you alone.

She followed right after, sucking air into her lungs as the almost foreign feeling reached her stomach, exploding in the most 

“I love you.” She whispered lazily, fingers coming up to your shoulder, tracking as her it tapped its way up your collarbone, traveling to the side of your jaw before resting on your lips.

She felt your lips jut out as you kissed her finger, fixing yourself so that you were between her legs. You peppered her finger with several more kisses causing her to release a from behind her mouth. 

“I love you too, Ellie.”

You let your eyes flutter shut, listening to the rhythm of her heartbeat and the blood rushing through her veins, milking every moment with her possible if your reality did indeed turn out to be a dream. Oh, how you hoped it wasn’t.

Ellie pulled you closer, placing her chin on the top of your head before closing her own eyes, paying extra attention to just how content she felt at that moment. 

It was something she hadn’t willed herself to feel in a long time, and man it felt good. 

[elorawrites]

out west II (ellie x reader)

warnings: 18+ mdni, smut wc: 1.8k, unedited tags: @champagnelovers101@intrnetdoll@me-and-your-husband

a/n: i............i havent written smut in a while. cut me some slack.

western slang!("sakes alive" - like 'oh my god!' or something, horse feathers - nonsense/ridiculousness, "line rider" - cowboy, lunk-headed - dumb, "make tracks" - leave, bristled - angry, rattling - worrying, "pop your corn" - say your words/spit it out, poppet - term of endearment like "sweetie" and stuff)

-j

She'd came in the night.

Garbed in the evening's clothing, blurred into the sticky silence of twilight. Ghostly. Exactly as she came before.

Her fingers had fumbled with your shutters for a minute, eventually just snapping the mechanism that kept them locked.

You hadn't heard it.

Her leather-laden hands, clutching the edges of the window frame, hoisting herself over the small ledge into your bedroom.

You hadn't heard it.

And then, her thoroughly dusted boots, clopping at your creaky wooden floor, steps miniature and slow.

You still heard nothing.

For you were sleeping. Achingly peaceful, still and vulnerable. Your hair, a halo around you, arranged gently across your pillow. Your lips parted, light breaths puffing out of them consistently. Your hands, clutched closely inwards with your blanket laced between your fingers. An angel, the outlaw thought.

And then she sees it.

Her hat.

Neatly rested atop the pillow next to you, almost propped on display like you knew she’d be coming.

It was cleaner. Dusted off. You had undirtied it properly and meticulously for the gunslinger, delicate hands conditioning the suede for hours and hours until it finally felt right.

The outlaw warmly smiles, shadow looming darkly over your sleeping body as she imagines it. You, sitting pretty all alone in your lace trimmed bedroom, brushing grime off the leather of a hat that belongs to a criminal.

She wishes she could’ve been there to watch you do it.

The outlaw stills, realizing something, and reaches into the band of her holster to pull out a burlap sac. The size is small enough to hide easily in her palm.

Her fingers tug the strings and widen the top, before digging inside and plucking out a pink, soft looking peony.

It reminded her a lot of you when she’d first seen it.

She steps lightly, bending over your figure, and creeps up the brim of her hat to place the peony under it.

She knows that you’ll find it eventually. The difficult part, to the outlaw, is being unable to see your face when you notice it.

But it wouldn’t stay that way for long.

As the next time the outlaw would visit—tomorrow night—she had a different plan.

She’ll wake you up instead. Brush the hair out of your face, cup your cheeks gently and lay a soft kiss to your sleep-heated skin.

She’ll reveal a lilac from her burlap sac this time, closely watching the blush rise in your face as she places it in your hands.

And then she’ll steal you.

Steal you far, far away from this place you’ve been forced to call home.

And never let you come back.

---------------------------------

Night has fallen over town, and the outlaw couldn't be happier.

Her lilac is plucked.

Her boots are freshly polished.

And she approaches the same window confidently, enthusiastically, and opens the shutters.

Oh.

Her eyes widen subtly, glossing over as she sees inside.

She quickly realizes that she cannot enter.

Because you are...occupied.

Thoroughly occupied.

Gasps escape your lips in fluttery exhales, so quiet and so soft that the outlaw could barely hear. Your arms, daintily motioning under your blanket, are about hidden completely. She almost pities you, right then. Seeing the pure need color your cheeks as you help yourself. Almost frustrated with pleasure.

And her hat. Her damned hat.

Sat dearly next to you, superbly clean. Resting in the same air you breathe out so sweetly, so beautifully. Close enough to see the wetness of your eyes. Feel the warmth of your skin.

The gunslinger heats, hands starting to moisten the inside of her gloves. She swallows.

Her fingers fidget, still clasped around the shutter, as she raises the other hand, already drawn into a fist.

She knocks.

Immediately, a shrill shout escapes you, limbs messily fumbling under the covers and hands frantically grasping them up to your chest.

"Sakes alive!—it's—I—it's you!" you stutter in disbelief.

The gunslinger subtly nods.

"D'you—" you take a breath, having to collect yourself before you talk again. "D'you have any idea what time of night—this is—this is just horse feathers! Just—just showin' up?! I don't even—" you look away, breaths coming out harshly. "I don't even have words for you right now."

"Darlin', I—"

"Don't. And while you're at it—put that—that damn bandanna over your eyes," you say, voice getting a little quieter. "...I'm...indecent."

The outlaw only obeys, hands tugging the bandanna up and over her brow bone. You continue.

"I should've never trusted some—some line rider crook like yourself. My mistake."

She steps forward, hands steadily in front of herself.

"I'm no crook sweetheart, I already told you—"

"I can't trust a crook's word on bein' a crook! You lunk-headed—"

The outlaw interrupts you with her movements, arm extending to snatch her hat and place it on her head. She adjusts it slightly, fingers pinching the brim, before talking.

"Tell me you want me gone. I'll make tracks darlin'. I don't wanna hurt you. I can..." she glances at the window. "...take my hat and go. If it's what you want."

Your body tenses, freezing at the notion.

"That's not what I want." you blurt, anger starting to subside.

The outlaw's voice had you remembering how caged and hot you felt when you first had met her. It was distracting.

"Yeah?" She asks. "Enlighten me then."

You pause, feeling strangely watched despite her vision being blocked by the fabric.

"I want—well, I wanted...you. And I didn't know if—if I'd ever see you again. I couldn't..." your skin colors. "...I couldn't wait."

The only expressive part of her face you could see—her mouth—quirks up into tiny smile.

"You only had to wait a small while longer honey. I was down the road."

Your legs shift under the covers, restless with warmth.

"You can—you can take the bandanna off. I'm...fine now." you utter, still unable to face her directly.

Her hand moves to grab it, before she stops.

"Are you sure? I don't mind—"

"Just take it off." you cut, words even louder.

She finally does, exposing her eyes to you and your bedroom. Her grin widens as she looks at you.

"Not so bristled anymore?" she questions.

Your hands brush up and down your thighs.

"...No."

She tracks your movements closely, eyes flicking.

"...Somethin' else rattlin' you then?" she tries.

You stay silent, simply not able to conjure a clean way to word your thoughts. The outlaw talks again.

"I think I know." she assures. "You weren't quite...done yet, were you? Is that it?"

Hotness blooms, showering your insides in something dangerous and heady. The outlaw won't stop talking.

"You're just—just itchin' for it under there aren't you?" she murmurs.

She sits on your bed, body leaning deftly close to yours. Her head inches near your neck, lips curtly brushing you for a moment.

"...Do you think you'd let me see?" she whispers even lower.

Your feel your eyes abruptly dart up, focusing on hers. Your hand moves meekly, finding her own and guiding it towards you. You draw her under your covers, slowly letting her fingers pad their way down your sternum.

The glove is missing, as you feel her skin on yours, and it causes you jump slightly. You hadn't even seen her take it off.

Her hand is shaky, excited, as she feels your bareness for the first time. It starts to ravage, pulling at the hem of your panties wildly.

Her hat knocks into your forehead as she clutches your neck, bringing your face to hers swiftly.

She takes, mouthing heavily on top of your lips and inside your mouth, groping at your inner thighs. Her hand cups your cunt, forcing a dizzy amount on pressure onto you instantly.

"I—oh," You partly gasp, the outlaw's fingers starting to rhythmically circle your clit without warning. You feel her tongue leave your mouth, start spanning the length of your neck and tasting.

Her hat knocks into your chin this time, tumbling it off her head and onto the mattress. Her teeth start to nip, scattering painfully pleasurable bruises across your skin.

Her body climbs over yours, bulky clothing scratching you as she does so. Her hand still rubs you dearly, fingers now curiously prodding inside.

Your hips start to shift, jittery and wanting, and the gunslinger grinds down with the whole of her bodyweight, thrusting her hand harder against you.

Her hips keep bucking like that, pounding her own hand, with such force that you feel your bed start to wobble.

"That's—hah—I—ohhh—I need—" you breathe, words broken.

"What's that? Gonna have to pop your corn a bit louder darlin'," the outlaw chides, hips only slamming harder and faster as you struggle to talk.

"I'm—ooh—your—your name! Tell me your name!" you exclaim, voice airy.

She grins, eyes fixed. "Williams—Ellie Williams."

A hand moves to your breast, squeezing and tugging in time with her hips. You feel her fingers reach deeper, farther, evoking molten rushes of heat straight from your belly. It's becoming too fast to keep up with.

"El—Ellie—"

She groans, the metal belt buckle she wears knocking even more vigorously against you.

"Again sweetheart. Say it again."

Your eyes are glassy, barely gazing at the figure on top of you. Your legs are clutched around Ellie's waist, taut as the sensation of her fingers overwhelm you. You hear your own voice meander out of your parted lips, unable to really control how you sound.

"Ellie, Ellie, Ellie—oohhhh, Ellie, I'm—" your voice cuts into a moan, high and breathless. You feel your body jerking, an insane amount of energy burning to be released.

"I know poppet, I know. It feels so good, don't it?" she softly speaks into your shoulder.

"Yes, it's—mmm—it's—it's good," you groan, your own hands weakly clawing at her hips to slow down.

It was a tide of sparks, a wave of relief, a terrifying wall of pleasure that hit you so violently, sending you flying and soaring, essentially drifting in the haze of climax.

Your thighs flinch together, knocking inwards even tighter as your body racks with leftover tremors and sparse shivers.

The outlaw just watches.

You both sit silently for a moment, enjoying the stuffy air and sweaty sheets for a while longer.

Her hand departs and snakes into her empty hostler, where she digs for a bit and pulls out a small brown sac.

Her fingers delve into it, bringing out a tiny, tiny flower.

Your face brightens.

"Is that—is that for me?" you ask sweetly.

"Who else?" Ellie says, tucking the flower in between some strands of your hair.

She moves, rolling over to lie down in the spot next to you. She gazes up at the ceiling, face slightly scrunched contemplatively.

"You thinkin' about somethin'?" you quietly ask.

Her head turns to yours.

"No."

But that was a lie. She was thinking hard.

Because the outlaw hasn't given up.

She couldn't steal you tonight. That time has passed.

But tomorrow night?

A rose, she thinks.

I'll bring a rose.

[elorawrites]

i just know ellie is the best kisser, even to the point where she gets flustered.

the two of you would be making out, and it just feels so good that you can’t help letting little moans out because how is she doing that with her mouth? and after a while ellie pulls away for a moment, dropping her head down against your shoulder panting. “fuck.” she breathes out and you giggle in confusion.

“what? are you out of breath?” you question, running your hands down her strong shoulders before she looks up at you, flushed across her freckled cheeks and brows furrowed slightly.

“no, i mean yeah— but— shit, the noises you make are just so…” she closes her eyes for a moment and luckily so, because she would have exploded if she saw how doe eyed you went.

“oh, m’sorry ellie. i didn’t mean to— you’re just a good kisse—”

“don’t say sorry, oh my god. it’s hot— i just, you’re making me wanna fuck you and i told myself i’d take it slow with you, okay?”

oh.