elphiej

[elphiej]

Be My Light: Chapter 11- Find Me and I'm Gonna live with you.

*Genre: Mafia, Angst, Slow burn, eventual smut

*Warnings: Mentions of illness, violence, kidnapping, and a little fluff

Authors Note: Hello again everyone. I have risen from the dead to bring you some back story of our favorite maknae. As before, I apologize for the delay but am always grateful for those who still read. I have copied and pasted the tag list from before and if you would like to be removed, please let me know. Feel free to drop a like, comment, or whatever you feel like. We are almost done with military drought, FIGHTING!! Also, posted on AO3 under the same name.

Tag list: @lolalalooo, @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine,  @mrsfortune1306, @lovesick-heart0, @iamnamjoonsbxtch, @deathkat657, @deeepvibes, @sugamonster22, @weiinihao, @hemmofluke, @rainbow-zebra-unicorns, @joyfullyobsessed-blog, @elvencantation, @thefreddieman, @whateveritis616, @crewzie-chan, @wyomingphantom, @killbillv1, @kyrah-williams, @utterlynutters, @ot7jellostan, @zahraaelamira, @shesaysweirdthings, @toriluvsfics, @emu007, @zae007live​

Chapter 11: Find Me and I’m Gonna Live With You

            As the morning sun streamed through your balcony window, you felt as if your head was going to split. The dull ache that had started the previous afternoon had intensified into the worse migraine you had had in a long time. Of course, you had concealed that pain while you were at the Magic Shop; you had assumed it was a simple headache brought on by the weather or stress, and it wasn’t anything you needed to worry about then. You were quite wrong. Once you had returned home and taken the last of your aspirin, which did absolutely nothing, you realized what was happening. The first time you had suffered from a migraine like this was when you had first stopped taking your medicine regularly. And then again when you started running low and skipping more than a day. Any long-prescribed medication would have some side effects when not taken on its routine. It just seemed worse now that you had stopped all together. That, and the stress of the last few weeks probably added to it. It was clear that you needed something stronger than an aspirin to deal with this. Your head pounded, every move you made to try and get comfortable made you feel like you would heave, and your body wouldn’t let you sleep to escape the situation. What time was it anyways? How long had you been laying there?

            One of the previous times you had suffered from a migraine, Amber had brought you some extra strength over the counter stuff that had helped. What was it called? You could barely form a single stream of thought, let alone what the name of something you had months ago was. You were pretty sure Amber had been put on the night shifts, based on her many complaints she had texted you. Maybe if you sent her a text, she could bring you some before Bangtan arrived. You groaned. You should texted them, too, and see if they just let you stay in your apartment. Would they even allow that? Surely, the scary Mafia must understand what a sick day is. You needed your phone. From under your cocoon of blankets, your hand slithered out-even that felt like too much- and grabbed it from its place on the side table. Once you hit the home button and the screen illuminated, you all but threw the phone as the blinding light cause the throbbing behind your eyes to intensify. And the loud ‘thud’ as the phone landed didn’t help either. You retreated back into the covers; you felt like you were going to throw up again. Maybe if you could force yourself to sleep for a few minutes, you could try again.

            There was a soft knock on your door. “Y/N, are you okay? I heard something fall.”

            Wait, was that Jimin? When had he gotten there? How late was it? You hadn’t heard the front door open or anyone come in. This migraine was really throwing everything off.

            There was a soft tap at your door again. “Is it okay if I come in?”

            You really wanted to say ‘no’. But you knew that wasn’t the polite option. Also, you hadn’t seen Jimin since the hospital. The first day at the Magic Shop, Hoseok had gone out to pick him up from whatever job he was up to. But when the rest of you had sat down for lunch, only Hobi had joined you all. He had claimed that Jimin wasn’t hungry and just wanted to rest. That was the last you had heard about him since. You wanted to ask the others when they were hanging around with you in the lounge or when you were wandering around the Magic Shop, but you figured it really wasn’t any of your business. But now that he was at your door, your curiosity was getting the better of you. You just wanted to see how he was feeling. Amber called it your fatal flaw; you were more concerned about everyone else’s wellbeing instead of your own. Trying to ignore the pulsing pain behind your eyes and the dizzying nausea that hit each time you moved even the smallest bit, you lifted the covers and called him in.

            Your bedroom door creaked open and Jimin, cautiously, looked around the corner as if he was worried he was walking into something he shouldn’t. But when he saw you peering out from the darkened blankets like a gremlin, he snorted out a laugh and pushed the door open. He leaned heavily against the door frame and took in the sight before him. He looked tired. From your viewpoint, you could see that he was quite pale and worn. His golden hair was messy and peeking out from under a black beaning that he threw on in place of trying to tame it into his normal well-kept style. He wore a pair of dark jeans, an oversized yellow plaid flannel shirt with a white undershirt, and a leather jacket that was much too large for him but still looked warm. Notably, a pair of rose-colored sunglasses were perched high on the bridge of his nose, casting his light eyes and skin in a blushing hue. Even unkempt- by his standards at least- he looked amazing. He pushed off of the doorframe and crossed to the side of the bed. He squatted down and peered into your darkened hiding spot with a bemused smile.

            “Good morning,” he said, voice cracking with a snicker. “Are we having a lie in?”

            “What time is it?” Your voice sounded so strained and pained.

            “Almost seven. Are you alright, Y/N? You don’t look so good.”

            You tugged the blankets tight around you to block out all the light. “No, I feel so awful. I’m having the worse migraine. I haven’t slept at all because the room won’t stop spinning. My head feels like it’s splitting behind my eyes. Each breath makes me feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

            You felt the mattress sag as he sat on the edge, a comforting hand landing on your shoulder. “Oh, poor thing. Did you try taking anything?”

            “It didn’t help. I need something stronger. I was hoping to call a friend of mine to bring me something on her way home. But the light from my phone made it worse. I’m really sorry but I don’t think I will be of any use today. I should just stay here. I don’t think I can even walk without feeling worse. Had I realized how late it was, you wouldn’t have had to come all this way for nothing.” You sounded so guilty and pitiful.

            You felt the mattress shift as Jimin moved. The edge of the covers lifted slightly and he peered down at you, his eyes penetrating yours from behind those rose-colored lenses. He kept his voice low so not to worsen your migraine further. “Don’t think like that. It’s not for nothing. I’m glad I’m here, otherwise you would be worse off. I can take care of things for you. I think I saw a pharmacy around the corner. We can go get what you need from there and do whatever you think you need to feel better. Just tell me what to do.”

            Then, as if the universe had some sick sense of humor, the quiet peace of your room was swallowed up by the loud intrusion of heavy truck motors and construction workers yelling. There had been posted notices up around your building for a month that there was going to be a demolition crew taking down a condemned building just down the way and there would be a lot of noise. Of course, you hadn’t remembered that, with all that had been happening as of late. The roar of a truck and its stabbing ‘beeps’ as it backed itself into position felt like the workers were taking their sledgehammer against your skull instead. The foreman’s loud whistle for attention and shouts of directions drove you to stuff your head under your pillow to try and find some solace. Sadly, life had it out for you in every single way.

            Jimin had rose up and crossed to the glass slider that overlooked the street. All the noise was draining his own ability to hide how he was truly feeling. These last few days have been hard, not that he wasn’t used to it by this point in his life; the body aches and pains, the headaches and fevers, the exhaustion and mood swings that he struggled with until he decided to take his medicine were all a part of his routine. Just a bit longer. I can make it, he kept telling himself. But the construction noises were starting to push him to his limits, more so than the bright sunlight he was staring against despite his shades. Though, the glasses were for other purposes than just protection from the light. He looked back towards the bed at the sound of your painful moans. It seemed pretty obvious what his next move needed to be.

            Jimin crossed back to the edge of the bed and slipped his head under the covers, trying to keep as much darkness as he could for both of your sake. You slipped from under your pillow to gaze at him with a teary expression.

            “Just kill me now.”

            He smiled sympathetically and tucked a stray bit of hair behind your ear. “I wouldn’t dream of doing that to you. I already like you very much. Look, I know you don’t want to go anywhere but I can’t see this being a good option for you in this state. Let me take you to the Magic Shop. You don’t have to do anything but rest, and we can just keep an eye on you until you feeling better. We have a lot of stuff back home that could help- nothing illegal. And Jin-hyung always knows what to do when I’m not feeling good. And we have a few spare rooms you can use. We always have them made up, just in the case of company. Theres not windows so the sun won’t hurt you like it is now, and it’s super quiet, especially since most of the guys won’t be there for most of the day. Come on, Y/N. It's gonna be much better than here. Please?”

            To be honest, you don’t think you would have turned down his offer at this point. But something about the pull of his voice and the pleading look in those eyes made it even more impossible. You nodded your head and let him help you into a sitting position. Your head throbbed and the room spun a bit, but his hands on your shoulders helped ground you. You pressed your palms against your eyes against the brightness of the room.

            “Here, eyes closed for a second.” You obeyed and felt something slide across your face and against your nose. “These help me.”

            You opened your eyes, and the world had gone pink. Jimin’s rose-colored glasses eased the pain against your eyes. You gave him a grateful smile. And he looked amazing in pink, less tired. And somehow, his eyes seemed clearer than before. You set to trying to focus on moving.

            Jimin moved quickly about the room, also feeling a sharp headache coming on from the roaring of machinery outside. As he turned, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Jimin refused to look himself in eyes, unhappy with the desperate looking person he saw. He spotted the backpack you always brought with you leaning against the foot of the bed. Quickly glancing inside, he was relieved to see a change of clothes already in the bag; you had started bringing some loungewear to change into if you felt like using their gym in between sessions with Yoongi or lunch with whoever else was hanging around with you. At least I don’t have to go through her drawers, Jimin bemused to himself. He zipped up the bag, then his eyes caught sight of a very familiar sight. Yoongi’s black jacket, the one he treasure so much yet gave to you, was hanging delicately on the back of the door. Instantly, he felt a comforting warmth spread through him. Memories of sliding his hands into the pockets when his hands were freezing, trying to slip inside despite Yoongi wearing it, and leaning his cheek into the collar when he would hug his hyung from behind surfaced and chased some of those sick feelings away. He reached over and took it from the hook. Before he could stop himself, he buried his nose into the fabric and inhaled deeply. Somehow, it stilled smelled like home. Only now, there was a hint of you in it to that seemed fitting. Jimin always found that when he didn’t feel so well, being surrounded by the scents of those who cared and loved him was just as good as any other medicine. Hence why he had stolen Jungkook’s beanie, Namjoon’s flannel, and Taehyung’s leather jacket. With a smile, he returned to your side and put the familiar jacket over your shoulders.

            You were still in your pajamas – a black long sleeve shirt and plaid pants- but it would do. If your brain could focus on anything other than the throbbing pain against your eyes, you would have made some comment about being thankful for being able to put on clothes before trying to sleep. You slid your arms into the coat and took your backpack from Jimin. Pulling it onto your back, you tried to stand up, only to stagger as your equilibrium was destroyed. Suddenly, you felt yourself being pressed into something warm and the calming smell of cologne and the Magic Shop filled your senses. Arms locked under your legs as Jimin hoisted you a bit higher on his back and your arms instinctually wrapped around his neck.

            “I got you, Y/N. Just relax, I promise we’ll take –..,” he stopped as one of your hands went moved up to press against his forehead. “Are you seriously checking my temperature right now?”

            “I can’t help it,” you said, burying your face into his shoulder so he couldn’t see the blush that had started to form. “You’re really warm. You have a fever. The others said that you were sick and you still are, aren’t you? You should really take something for that.”

            “Look who’s talking. I’m not so bad. I can make it a few more days,” he said, trying to hide his feelings behind a smile and an air of nonchalance.

            “No,” you whined and tightened your hold. “Please, you need to take care of yourself. Waiting will only make it worse. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. Please, Jimin.”

            Jimin let out a sigh and turned his head to catch a glimpse of you over his shoulder. “Seriously? A minute ago, you were asking me to kill you, and now your more worried about my health than your own?”

            “It’s my fatal flaw. That’s why I ran into a building full of gunmen.” He laughed and you felt it all through your body. “Please promise me. I won’t be able to get well if I worry about you.”

            “Oh, blackmail. You sure you aren’t one of us?” You gave him a squeeze with your thighs in lieu of punching him in the arm. “Okay, okay. I promise I’ll take better care of myself. It’s gonna take a couple of days, but I’ll be good as new soon. Now, let’s forget about me and focus on you.”

            Satisfied, you allowed yourself to be lolled into a half-conscious state as the warmth and smell that was uniquely Jimin distracted you from everything. Before you knew it, you were being lowered into the backseat of a car and Jimin sliding in next to you. You leaned your head against his shoulder and barely heard him signal to the driver to go. The car was nice and dark. At some point in the ride, you could feel him shift as he brought his phone up to his ear. He instructed someone to get the spare room ready and find something to help you. You could hear a muffled voice of the other berating him on the other end. It didn’t last long because Jimin hung up his phone and tossed to the other side of the back seat. Jimin stretched out his legs and leaned his head against yours. Both of you relaxed as the car swayed through the traffic. It was nice; it reminded Jimin of the little moments he shared with the others when they didn’t have to be Mafia leaders. It was odd finding that same peace with someone that wasn’t Bangtan. But there was something about you that just clicked for him. Had he felt better, and not thrown his phone, he would have taken a picture to taunt Jungkook with. But for now, he just wanted to lose himself in this comfortable moment. You both needed rest and just having someone next to you felt so much better than sitting alone.

            Time slipped by oddly quickly, meaning you must have actually dozed off. You woke to Jimin whispering that you had arrived. He slipped out of the car and held out his hand for you. Once again, he pulled you on his back, silencing your protest with a simple ‘hush’. You were in the underground garage. And then, you were in the entrance hall and halfway up the stairs. Wait-had he just carried you up all those stairs and made it seem like this was nothing to him? How strong was he?

            “Jimin!” Seokjin’s annoyed voice announced his presence before you could spot him. “If you ever hang up on me again, I will ensure you will regret it.”

            “Sorry, Hyung. Must have lost you in a tunnel.”

            You could practically hear Jin roll his eyes. “Tunnel my glorious ass. You’re lucky I don’t bash your head in. Do you realize what you could have done? What could have happened?!”

            “Don’t yell at him,” you whined, waving you hand dismissively at Jin. “He doesn’t feel well still.”

            “Oh, I am very well aware of that, Darling. And if he would have just listened to me before, he probably would have been feeling better by now. But no, he has to be stubborn. He thinks he knows more than someone who spent half of his life learning medicine and taking care of him for the past decade.”

            “It’s my body, Hyung. I know my limits. And I am not an invalid. I can still do things around here.”

            “Says the one who couldn’t keep his food down last night or the day before. Or do I need to bring up how you would rather force yourself to sleep than actually dealing the with problem?”

            “I just wanted to help. I felt more alive this morning and just wanted a distraction.”

            “And turning off my alarm clock was your idea of helping?”

            “I knew you had a stressful day today and I just needed to get out of the house for a tiny bit. I figured it was the perfect distraction for me and you could use the rest before… well, your meeting. I didn’t even drive there. I had one of the drivers take me. Everyone was safe. We were there and back in no time and nothing was out of the ordinary. No big deal. I was careful; she didn’t see anything.” Were they still worried about you seeing how to get to the Magic Shop?

            “I can see that.” Jin leaned over towards you. He pressed the back of his hand against your forehead. “Poor Darling. May I?” He took the glasses from your face and placed them back on Jimin’s. The Magic Shop’s lights were lower than before. “I took the liberty of not turning on all the lights. Jimin told me what was going on. It would have been nice to have more time to set our spare room up better but it will do for now. Let’s get you more comfortable. Hopefully, you will be a better patient than this one.”

            “Be nice to him,” you pleaded. “He was only trying to help. And he did promise to take care of himself.”

            “Did he now?”

            “Yeah, I guilted him into taking some medicine.”

            “Is that true?”

            You felt Jimin shrug as he started back up the stairs. “What can I say? She is very good at blackmailing people.”

            “Oh, is that all it takes? A pretty face and big eyes for you to take your medicine? Then I should had have Jungkookie deal with you.”

            “As if that would have done much. I threw him out the first night he tried to make me. When do the others get back? We can deal with all of it when they get here.”

            “Not until dinner. But I’ll handle it. You just rest until then and we’ll come up with a plan. But for now, let’s deal with this Darling first.”

            Next thing you knew, you were being lowered onto the most comfortable bed you had ever felt. It took everything in you not to just sink into the mattress and the fluffy comforter. You looked about the spare room. How something this nice could be considered a spare room made you wondered how their actual bedroom looked. The room was decently sized with dark hardwood floors that matched the rest of the Magic Shop. The walls were high, leading up to beautiful crown molding lined ceiling. Behind the ornate crown molding were strips of lights the bathed the dark room in a soft green glow that eased the pains behind your eyes. Hmm, someone knows about light therapy, you mused.

            Jin gave Jimin a shove towards the door once you were more settled. The younger didn’t put up any fight, smiling over at you before leaving the room. Jin turned back to you. “Jimin means well. Seems like you two have something in common. You both care more about others than yourself. Here, I had my assistant go get these from the pharmacy. See, still in its sealed blister pack.”

            Jin held out the migraine medication for you to inspect. It was the best one on the market. “At this point,” you muttered as you held out your hand for it, “I’d even take whatever you create down in the basement of yours if it means feeling better.”

            Jin snickered as he placed the medicine in your hands with a glass of water. “You make me sound like a mad scientist. I’m just the disgraced son of the biggest pharmaceutical dynasty in the whole country. Which reminds me, I need to get going. It’s my annual meeting with the shareholders. My father, hopefully, will make his usual excuse so I don’t have to deal with him. But I will be able to talk with some of my good friends to see if we can figure out this mysterious medicine of yours. Quick tour before I leave though.  Jimin really didn’t give me much time to really prepare the room but I’m sure you’ll find all you need. The bathroom in just through there; feel free to use any you want. We always try to keep a good supply of things in the case of company. And there’s fresh towels if you want to take a bath. Your bag it just by the desk. And there is some water in the mini fridge just beside it, if you need some. I’m sure Yoongi has already seen us in the cameras, but I’ll go make sure he knows what’s happening. His studio is at the end of this hallway if you need him. And I’ll tell him to do his own treatments today without you. Don’t push it, Darling, I mean it. You’ve been working non-stop, it’s time to take care of you. Jungkookie is staying here today too. If you need anything, just let him know. Now, lay back and get comfortable. You look exhausted. Are the lights okay? They always help Namjoonie when he has a migraine.”

            You simply nodded as you leaned back against the pillows. Jin pulled your sneakers off and pulled the blankets up around you. You felt so warm and secure. You didn’t even notice when he slipped out the door and closed it behind him, leaving you in the soft emerald glow. Soon, you felt yourself falling deeper and deeper into the most comfortable sleep you had had in a very long time. It was safe. And that was the last thought before you fully surrendered to the pull of sleep.

            You really couldn’t tell how long you had been sleeping. A small creak of a door penetrated your deep slumber. You really couldn’t tell if it had really happened or was just part of a dream. Somewhere in the in-between, there were soft footsteps that came closer to the bed. Still, your eyes were heavy. You must have been dreaming, you decided, when you thought you felt someone’s hand touch your forehead. But only more so when that hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and traveled down your cheek. You, instinctively, turned into that warm hand, seeking the longing comfort it brought. It was a dream after all. It felt as if a thumb traced across your cheekbone before withdrawing. Then the door closed again.

            Soon, you pulled yourself from your slumber, feeling so rested. Your cellphone was set on a charging station on the bedside table. The home screen indicated that you had been asleep for almost four hours. And you felt great! Your headache had eased to only a dull annoyance, your nausea was gone, and you felt revitalized. You yawned and stretched as you sat up in bed, inhaling deeply. There was a lingering smell in the room that hadn’t been there before. It was familiar and soothing. Your eyes caught sight of the black jacket folded neatly on the bedside table. That had to be it. Maybe it just smelled stronger in the closed room than before.

            You remade the bed, grabbed your bag from where Jin had placed it, and crossed to the bathroom. Just like the rest of the Magic Shop, the bath was like walking into a grand resort. There grey tile across the floor, marble countertops with quartz sinks, a clawfoot tub, and a walk-shower. On the counter, there was a basket full of different products like face washes, shampoos and conditioners, body washes, and more. They were from high end brands and for many different body types and needs.. In one of the drawers there was some makeup wipes and removers. You wondered if that was more for if a girlfriend was over. Your mind flashed back to the hospital that first night when Hwasa has cornered Namjoon in the hallway. Despite his response to you, there seemed to be history there. And it with the type of products you were finding, it would make sense. Also, all of Bangtan were good looking guys; there was no way they were single.

            You filled the tub with hot water and plopped a eucalyptus bath bomb you found into the water. It had been a long time since you had taken a bath, mostly sticking with a shower since that’s all you had. You scrubbed your body and just let yourself relax for a bit before rinsing off and sampling some other products. Once your face was cleaned and moisturized, you brushed your teeth with a sealed toothbrush you found in a drawer and changed into a fresh pair of clothes. After hanging up the fluffy towels and tidying up the room, you slipped the familiar jacket on and ventured out into the hallway.

            Remember what Jin said about Yoongi’s studio helped orientate you. True to his word, Taehyung had made you a map and had helped you find your way when you wandered around alone. You walked down towards the studio; you wanted to let him know that you were feeling better so he would worry about you. Would he though, you wondered. You were friendly with them but was it to that extent? Maybe to Jimin and Jin. Either way, it would be the nice thing to do. You found yourself in front of his door and knocked. No response. You knocked again.  But still no answer. Maybe he was resting? You shrugged and moved back down the hall. You decided to try and find Jungkook. You tried to text him but he hadn’t responded. So, you decided to head towards the living room where you had spent most of your time. You figured that if they were looking for you, that would be a good place to look.

            “Fucking piece of shit,” you heard as you approached the door to that living room. Peering in, you found Jungkook. He was seated on the floor, back against the couch, staring intently at the television. He had connected his game system and was furiously smashing a series of button on his keyboard. On the screen, you recognized it as a game that Amber had play constantly when you were staying with her. She even played a mobile version on her phone while on break at work. You were never good at games, but you liked to watch. “Think you can snipe me? Think again,” Jungkook sneered at the character on the screen as positioned his avatar and fired a sniper shot. He smirked as the opponent disappeared.

            You entered the room and crossed to the couch as the screen flashed with the end of the round. “Did you win?”

            Jungkook jump, clearly so engrossed in his game that he hadn’t heard you approach him. “Noona, when did you get here? Are you feeling okay? Was I too loud?”

            “No, it’s fine. I just got here. I’m feeling much better. Did you win? Looks pretty tough.”

            “Oh, yeah. Just some practice rounds with some online friends. I haven’t played them in a while and decided to remind them why am I the best in the region,” he grinned a cocky smile before starting up another round.

            You settled on the couch and watched as he moved across the map in search of his opponent. On the side of the screen, there was a chat going with the online friends he had mentioned. He explained that they were, essentially, playing a game of hide and seek that would end in a shootout. Which is how Amber explained it too. You smiled. Clearly, Jungkook had the advantage of having real life experience as he reacted quicker than you could ever to the slightest movement on the screen. All while also replying to the chat. Two opponents were dispatched within the first five minutes of game play, and they were ranting all through the chat. One was left. An avatar in colorful raver gear swung across the screen and disappeared with some advantage she had. A smoke grenade covered the screen and she used that to sneak attack and take five hit points. Jungkook seemed to get more annoyed as he chase after her, but she was good at avoiding him. He talked about how this person was usually the last one he had to get when they played this version of the game. How she was good at quick movements and gathering advantage items while he just used what he started with. You watched him analyze the game, bemused with the way he wrinkled his nose and narrowed his eyes, or the way he jumped and tried not to swear too much with you in the room. His status as youngest member was definitely showing. It reminded you how young he still was.

            You turned back to the screen and your eyes widened as you caught the name of the opponent as she taunted him in the chat: ElectricLlama. That was Amber! Which meant-

            “Are you Seagull-eye97?”

            He froze, clearly not expecting that. Sadly, for him, it cause him to freeze long enough for ElectricLlama to throw a bomb at him and end the round, leaving the score tied between them.

            “How’d you know my screen name?”

            “That’s my best friend Amber! She plays you all the time. She’s always talking about you! You and her are in some kind of feud.”

            “Your friend is ElectricLlama?”

            “Oh my god, how did I not realize that was her until now? It looks just like her. She says you’re really good.”

            “She’s good too. I’m just better.” He started the final round to determine the winner.

            “If only I could tell her I’m working for her mortal enemy. She’d be busting down the door to get to you.”

            You watched as he moved across the screen, him being the hider this round. Amber kept taunting through the chat and in game but Jungkook didn’t take the bait. He had something to prove now. This friendly game had turned now that he knew you were watching. He slinked through the terrain and aimed his weapon. ElectricLlama moved into view, not seeing him. Jungkook had her in his scope, ready to snipe her. But then, he switched weapons. No more guns, now it was a knife. He ran up on her and started close combat. He could have ended it so quickly but he wanted to draw it out, to prove a point. His fingers flew across the keyboard. Amber put up a good fight. But in the end, she was no match for Jungkook and her avatar fell to the floor and the game ended.

            “She’s pissed,” you said as she watched Amber’s blow up the chat. “I’m gonna hear about that later.”

            “She should be used to it. But she’s still one of the best one’s I play against.”

            Jungkook sent some replies before signing off and disconnecting his game system. He was wearing a short sleeve shirt and you got to see all his tattoos on display. All up his arm were intertwining images from symbols and words, all combining in a unique way that flowed nicely. When he turned back to ask if you wanted to watch something, you asked him about his tattoos. At first, he shyly shrugged at the question. But when you leaned forward to admire the Tigerlily he had, he started explaining them to you. It amazed you the amount of care and work he had put into it. He explained why he got it, what it meant to him, and even if it hurt. You noticed the way his eyes sparked as he continued to speak. It was nice to see how much he had become more comfortable with you around him, remembering the first day when he could barely make eye contact with you. He started animatedly explaining about some of his first tattoos that were covered up with some more meaningful imaging, stuttering and tripping over his own words as his mouth moved quicker than his brain. It was kind of cute, you confessed. Through the tour of his ink, one that you didn’t see was his Gang tattoo. You squinted your eyes and tried to trace all the images like it was a hiding game.

            Jungkook noticed your studious face and snorted. “What are you doing, Noona?”

            “So, I know Yoongi’s Bangtan tattoo is on his shoulder. And Namjoon showed me his is on his wrist. Is yours, also, on your arm? Hidden among this menagerie?”

            Again, he snorted a laugh. “No, mine is..” He started to tug down the loose collar of his shirt only to realize, quickly, what he was doing. His cheeks flushed and he cleared his throat. Jungkook placed his hand over his heart instead. “Mine is here. Some families will have them in similar body placements. There are some that will have them in the exact same place to show that they are all the same. And others just put it wherever. But there are a few families, like ours, that put them in places that have a deeper meaning.”

            “Really? That’s very insightful. What does it mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

            Jungkook shrugged. “I think it’s okay, Noona. I don’t see any real issue telling you what I can. Let’s see. Yoongi-hyung’s tattoo is on his shoulder because he’s always placing himself in front of us, protecting us. And we always have his back to support him. Jimin-hyung’s is on his ribcage because it’s one of the most painful places to get inked. And he says he would go through great pains for Bangtan. Hobi-hyung’s in on his ankle so we are always with him every step of the way. Jin-hyung’s is on his hip and Taehyungie’s in on his inner thigh. Umm…” he stumbled, coughing back a laugh. “Those are for more private reasons that I don’t think I should get into right now. But Namjoon-hyung and mine are for the same reasons. Bangtan is our heartbeat, our bloodline. Without it, I don’t really know what we would do. Bangtan is much more than a gang to us. It’s our everything.”

            “Yoongi has described it like that, too.”

            “Well, it’s true,” Jungkook said with pride. “People look at Bangtan and just see a dangerous group of guys. I mean, we are but that depends on what side you’re on. But we do so much more than that. We do a lot of good, and not just for the community or the free people who need us. But for each other. We’ve been there through rough times, scary events, all of it. We’re a family. They are so much of why I am the person I am today. Without them, I don’t know who I’d become. I’d never want to be anything else. If someone gave me the opportunity to do life over again, I’d still choose them.”

            You could only nod, taking in all he said. He would choose to be apart of this life? Or was that more that he would choose to be with them? You leaned back into the couch cushion and tried to wrap your head around his confession. From what Yoongi had told you, he didn’t have a choice, being sold out by his parents to an evil society leader. And he had gotten so angry at you when you had assumed he had made the others join his lifestyle. But Jungkook would willingly be with them again and again. Yoongi had repeated that he gave the others a choice. But who would choose this life? Being at the center of violence by choice seemed so odd to you. But then, again, some people join the military or become a police officer like your father had. Was it so different? And it wasn’t like they were like Choi and his men, just wanting to spread chaos and fear.

            Jungkook plopped down beside you on the couch and started trying to find something to watch. You kept glancing at him out of the corner of your eyes. He looked so young. Thinking back to your introduction back at the hospital and what you had learned since. Bangtan had been together for many years and the final battle with Ji was five years ago. Yoongi had said that he had escaped from the Royals when he was eighteen and Namjoon was about seventeen. And they must have formed Bangtan around that time. Now Jin was a year older than Yoongi, and Jungkook was the youngest of them all. You studied Jungkook more, doing calculations in your head. But you must be off. There was no way someone that young would willingly join up.

            “Noona,” Jungkook waved his hand in front of your eyes, snapping you out of your mental acrobatics. “You’re staring at me. It’s kind of creepy.”

            “Sorry, I just,” you turned your body towards him to give him your full attention. “Can I ask you something? I’m really trying to understand all this. How long have you been with Bangtan?”

            “Since the beginning,” Kookie said with a grin. “I mean, technically that’s when the Hyungs escaped the Royals and started running little jobs here and there. They didn’t really consider themselves a gang then. They say Bangtan was fully completed when I showed up.”

            “I guess what I’m really asking- and you don’t have to go into details if you don’t want to- how old were you?”

            “Oh, thirteen.”

            “Thirteen?! I may not remember what I did when I was thirteen, but I can say that most thirteen-year-olds are more focused on after-school programs, getting ready for high school. Not running around with people trying to shoot them.”

            “It’s not that young,” he replied, sheepishly.

            “How does a thirteen-year-old decided they want to join a gang? I know that Yoongi was taken when he was fifteen, but he said his story is different than the rest. That the rest of you had a choice.”

            “I’m still shocked that he told you that story. When I came along, only Namjoon-hyung and Hobi-hyung knew, and that’s because they were there. He didn’t open up about that to the rest of us until a year after we came out as a group. And he was incredibly drunk that night. It’s not an easy thing for him to remember. You must be something special, Noona.”

            “So, I’ve been told. I’m just trying to understand better. Can you tell me your story? I can’t wrap my head around someone so young joining up, let alone choosing to over again. I mean, if you don’t want to, you don’t have too.”

            Kookie smiled and leaned back into the sofa, getting comfortable. “Oh sure, I don’t mind. Its no where near as bad as Yoongi-hyung’s. The worst was me having to practically beg them to let me join. Don’t look at me like that. It’ll make sense.”

                                                            ******************

            The Jeon family lived in a small fishing village a few hours outside of Central. In fact, Jungkook wasn’t aware of Central or the issues that were happening in it. He lived with his parents in a single room apartment, helped on their boat, and spent time at the village community center learning taekwondo from a local teacher who watched children while the parents were working late. That had been his routine since he was three. And while his parents were just barely making ends meet, they were a happy family. It wasn’t until he got older that he started to realize how little they could afford. He tried to want for nothing and his folks were thankful for such a good kid. But they, also, wanted better for him. So, they worked longer hours to be able to afford a better life for their son. When he was thirteen, he knew he would have to travel to the next town for high school and that was going to be expensive for his family. And his free coach had recommended to his father that he would benefit from enrolling in an after-school taekwondo class if they wanted to further his future endeavors. Which would add more to their already stretch finances. He tried to tell his father that he could do without and not to worry, but his father still wanted better for him. It was a lot of weight to add to his shoulders without his parents realizing. He would hear them discussing how they would swing it and he couldn’t really see a good solution. And it got more worrisome when his mother announce she was expecting his little brother.

            He wanted to do more for his family’s sake, help them save up to a better life for all of them and not just him. There were plenty of kids his age working in their village or leaving town for work. While he was playing an online game with a friend, he found out about a taekwondo tournament that would be happening in this city his friend moved to called Central. Winners got prize money, and for certain age groups, they would receive scholarships. His friend encouraged him to come for a visit and compete because he was sure Jungkook would win something. And while they were together, they could earn some money around Central; there were opportunities on every corner. It was tempting. And to a thirteen-year-old who wanted to help his family financially, that’s all it took.

            He told his folks he was going for a summer visit, at least then they could just focus on saving money without trying to feed him. He met his friend at a bus terminal and they started going about the city. His friend told him about the fighting that had been taking place in the city and pointing out who he suspected was apart of the gangs. There were bad gangs and a few good, if you could call it that. The Royals were the tops, a product of the Big 3 that once ruled. 2NE1 was a sister group of theirs that mostly kept to jewel heist and smashing things. SHINee was from a different family, and they dealt with underground seizures up north. But the one that really caught Jungkook’s attention was a small up and coming group named Bangtan Sonyeondan. Apparently, they were made up of some defectors from the Royals and would do anything to stop their plans. One day, while running deliveries for his friend’s uncle, they were able to see a few members of Bangtan as they jumped a known Royal rally point. And they were so cool in Jungkook’s eyes. Especially, the leader known as Rap Monster. Anytime anyone was talking about them, Jungkook could help but listen and idolize them. There was one time, when a Suit had held up a convenience store that Rap Monster and Jungkook happen to be in. The Suit ran with Bangtan’s leader on his tail. Now, a normal person would stay out of the way. But Jungkook was always wanting to help. As if on autopilot, the young kid grab bigger guy and executed an over the shoulder throw. The next thing he knew, Rap Monster was next to him and ruffled his hair. ‘Thanks kid,’ he said before throwing the money back towards the owner and dragging the Suit into the alleyway.

            After showing off his very basic skills, Jungkook’s friend got an idea. Since the competition was coming up soon, and Jungkook should be practicing, they would do some busking on the street. And take on any drunk wannabe for some extra cash. If his parents knew what he had been doing, they would have locked him up in seconds. But it did help them raise up the funds. By time the competition had come around, he had more than enough money for the entrance fee and enough to send home for his folks. From the practice he got from his busking escapades, he was surprisingly well equipped for the unknown opponents. By the end of the day, he had made it into the final round. And he had, also, caught the attention of a few predatory eyes.

            When Jungkook and his friend were walking back home for the night, they were cornered by a big black van. Before either could react, the back door flew open and hands dragged them inside before it sped off again. They were gagged and had their hands tied with zip ties. And that was where he came face to face with the Crime Boss, Ji, for the first time. Jungkook would never forget that face for the rest of his life. They had been selected for the next round of recruits. Ji grinned as he threatened that if anyone tried to resist, their families would be shot in front of them. No one tried to run. In the van were four other teens, just like him, kidnapped and about to go through hell. Ji moved back into the front of the vehicle, leaving them all in the dark. His friend was hyperventilating, and Jungkook was trying to use his strength to snap the bindings. But a hard hit came from the side of the van and sent everyone flying. Over the muffled screams from the others, Jungkook heard the Royals swear on a name that gave him a bit of hope: Bangtan. Another hit came on the back bumper, and the van rolled onto its side and slid to a stop. Someone had landed on top of Jungkook, knocking the wind out of him, but everyone was alright. Screams and sounds of a fight broke out around the van.

            Next thing the captives knew was the lock on the back door was being bashed in and the door fell open. But instead of Ji or one of the Suits, stood the leader of Bangtan with a bat covered in barbwire. Run or you’re gonna die, he had screamed at them. Five bodies scrambled out into the darkness. But Jungkook was stuck, trying to gather his wits about him. Where did his friend go? He didn’t know where he was or how to get back to the house. Rap Monster swung his bat with his whole body at an oncoming Suit trying to get at one of the escapees, yelling orders at someone named Agust to cover the new guy and Hope to watch out. That’s when the leader noticed Jungkook still huddled in the back of the van. Quickly, he rushed in and hauled him to his feet and out the vehicle. The streets was covering in broken glass and car parts, the smell of gas leaking on the streets filled his lungs, and flames ignited the fighting like a scene from a war movie. Rap Monster gave him a shove towards a direction. Go, before they see you! Get out of here kid! Go home!  Home? But how could he get home? He didn’t know where he was and had no way to get back. Besides, Ji had threatened to kill their families which meant that he would find them if he could find his way home. He’d later learn that his friend he had been staying with had fled the city with his family that night and didn’t even think about looking for Jungkook out of fear.

            But he did as he was told and just ran, hands still tied. And he didn’t stop running, even when the sounds of the van he was just in exploded when the flames finally found the gas leak. He ran into the night with no real direction. He knew he was fast; he had always had enough energy and stamina to outlast the best of them. The fear that someone would be following behind him kept his feet going. He weaved through alley ways and tunnels. As he rounded a corner, a familiar black truck flew past and a voice he recalled from the fight whooping in celebration into the silence of the night. That was Hope! He needed to catch up with them; they could help. His muscles screamed and his heart pounded against his ribs. It was a stupid idea but the only one that the thirteen could cling to in that moment of panic and fear.

            He didn’t know how he managed but he ran to the outskirts of the city and found an abandoned gas station that was boarded. He could hide in there for the time being, he concluded. Then he saw the black truck tucked behind trash and debris. If he believed in angels, he would have dropped down to his knees and thanked them. He stumbled to the door, adrenaline finally waning fast. His feet shuffled in the dirt and knocked into a trash can, breaking the silence. The last thing he saw before he collapsed to the ground was Rap Monster coming from around the corner with his bat, before those dragon eyes went wide with worry.

                                                            **************

            “Oh my god, you ran across the city? And somehow found them?” You were sure that your mouth was hanging open.

            “Crazy right? It was like fate knew we were meant to be together. Yoongi-hyung and Jimin-hyung were suspicious of me then. I mean, it makes sense; a kid just captured by Ji somehow stalked them to their hideout? When I woke up, I was locked in a back room with a note taped to my shirt telling me not to panic and once they determined I was safe, they’d let me out or I’d be left there to rot. But Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung figured I wasn’t anything to worry about after a couple days. Ji had marked me ever since I had help hyung at the store. They knew he was planning on hand picking some kids from the competition to strengthen his ranks. Namjoon-hyung took me back to the city to find my friend. But my friend and his parents were gone. They had moved in between our capture and my rescue. They offered to drive me back to my parents. But I was too scared to go back home in case Ji was being truthful. They would ask me my address but I wouldn’t speak. I completely shut up, unless I was begging them to let me stay. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I was on my knees and possibly crying a few of those times. Pretty sure they felt sorry for me because they decided to keep me with them for a little bit, kinda like how we’re doing with you. For protection until I could see that my family would be safe and I’d tell them where I lived. But I’m really stubborn. Despite the fact that they thought I was too young to do much, I would just try to be as helpful as I could, to earn my keep. Suga-hyung wasn’t too keen on having someone so young with them, especially since they already had Taehyungie hang around now and then. But we all just clicked.”

            “And that’s when they asked you to join?”

            Jungkook laughed. “I begged them to let me join them. I saw the good they were doing, saw how they were helping. And now that I had first experience with Ji’s intentions, I knew it would be hard for me to go back out there alone. Ji had hand-picked me after seeing my skills. I was a target and anyone I was around would be at risk. But Bangtan was already so strong, kept me safe, even before they knew just how strong I could get. They were worried I was too young. But my mind had been made up.  I started slow, helping Jin with escape routes, listening for them. But the more I showed them how serious I was, the more it just seemed to fall into place. I had to wait a while to do any dangerous stuff, and even longer for some fun stuff. But in the end, it made sense and it proved a lot to everyone involved.”

            “But if Ji hand picked you, weren’t you worried he could find you again?”

            “At first, I was concerned. But then I realized. Anytime I had been out with my friend in Central, I had been wearing a face mask because I was worried about getting sick before the competition. And at the competition, my friend thought it would be a cool idea to keep it on. Ji never saw my face. I don’t think they noticed I was wearing it when they jumped me. That’s why I was able to walk around like a normal person while the hyungs had to cover up. I still cover up when we fight the Suits so I can still have anonymity when I game online.”

            “So that’s why when you fought with Choi back at the hospital I saw you wearing it,” you said, realization dawning on you. “Do you still talk with your family?”

            “Of course I do! I call home a couple times a week. Jin-hyung made sure that once I was sure about this life, that I could still see my folks and my brother. Ji was using scare tactics back then when he took me. But we made sure that they were save in our little village. And they came up with this great lie to make sure my parents didn’t know what I was really up to. Namjoon-hyung made it seem like I had won a full scholarship to a top school up north somewhere. Even made some fake documents to sign. Every month, he or Jin-hung would call with a progress report on my studies and behavior. Which was actually true. They ended up home-schooling me. Jin-hyung said that just because I wanted to join the gang didn’t mean I had the right to be an idiot. Now, my folks think I graduated and got a side job as security for Jin-hyung’s company, while also doing my streaming on the side. I send them money every so often.”

            “Wow, that’s incredible. I never would have guessed any of that.”

            “Told you I’d never force them into this,” came a deep voice from the door.

            Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, clearly letting the story finish before he had stepped in. His red hair was messy, like he had ran his good hand through it multiple times. His arm was still in its sling. But in his other hand was a steaming bowl that smelled incredible. He pushed off the door frame and crossed over to the couch.

            “Here,” he said, holding out the bowl for you. “I made lunch. Figured you might be hungry after what I heard from Jin-hyung. Since you weren’t in the guest room, I figured here was the next best choice.”

            You took the bowl from him and gazed at it’s contents. It was the most delicious looking stew you had ever smelled. Instantly, your stomach rumbled at the sight of it. You dug in and a sense of warmth and calm settled over you. You could have sworn you saw a smirk flash across his face as he watch you enjoy his food.

            “No way,” Jungkook exclaimed with wide doe eyes and watering mouth. “Hyung, you made galbitang? It’s been so long since you made that for any of us. Did you make some for me too?”

            “You are not sick,” Yoongi said, matter-of-factly, giving the youngest his signature stone face. After a second of letting Jungkook’s face drop into a pout, he rolled his eyes and smirk. “Of course, I made enough for everyone. I only have one hand, buns. Go bring ours up.”

            Like a kid at Christmas, Jungkook scrambled to his feet and flew out the door. Yoongi shook his head with a soft chuckle before turning his head back to you. He knelt down so not to keep looking down at you.

            “How are you feeling? Jin-hyung said you weren’t so good this morning.”

            You nodded between mouthfuls. “I’m feeling much better now. I think the stress of everything and the withdrawal from my old anti-anxiety medication caught up with me. But you guys are really helping me feel so much better. I’m sorry we have to cancel your treatment this morning. We can try after we eat.”

            He waved you off and sat down next to you. “I think I’ll survive. Besides, its almost time for us to take this fucking thing off.” His lips made a tight line. “Sorry.”

            “It’s okay. I’ve heard worse. Thank you for the stew. It’s amazing. You guys are really taking just a good care of me as I am of you.”

            “It’s about time you had something nice done in return.” He tilted his head towards you, hair spilling into his eyes. “You’re more relaxed. Still think we’re not to be trusted?”

            You wanted to roll your eyes. “I think I’m starting to get a better picture. Now that I know how much of a softie you all can be.”

            “Alright,” he sneered, reaching for your bowl, “no more nice gestures from me. I’ll show you who’s a softie.”

            You curled into a ball trying to protect your bowl of food from him as both your laughter’s filled the room.

[elphiej]

New Chapter Update:

Chapter 10 is about to be posted. Stay tuned. If anyone still wants to be part of the tag list, please let me know. I will never give up on this fic and will only strive to get faster at updating. But here comes some back story and some cute moments.

[elphiej]

I just found Be My Light and binge read the whole series overnight I am officially hooked! I absolutely love mafia aus where the reader is in the medical field it’s just *chef’s kiss* 😩 I’m so excited to find out what happens next and see how her relationship with each one of them develops! May I be added to the tag list pretty please? 🫶🏼

Of course my lovely!! I am so glad that you enjoyed it. I will absolutely add you to the tag list. I will let you know that my updates tend to take a bit but i am always still working on it. Feel free to check in and im happy to give an update

[elphiej]

ELPHIE!!! CHAPTER 10 IS AMAZING!!! still so hooked on this story 💜

ANON!!! Thank you so much. I am so glad you liked it. I loved returning to this universe. Im currently getting ready to move, but im still finding a few moments to write this next one. Thanks for hanging in there with me

[elphiej]

Be My Light - Chapter 10: An Act of Trust

*Genre: Mafia, Angst, Slow burn, eventual smut

*Warnings: Mentions of drugs, language, anxiety

Authors Note: How has it been so long? It's been a bit of a tough time but I have returned to my happy place. I hope you enjoy this look into the Magic Shop. I copy and paste the Tag List, so for those who no longer wish to be in it, I completely understand. Please just message me and I'll remove you. For any new interested readers who would like to be apart of the Tag List, same thing. Please just be patient with me. I'm on new any depressants and will be trying my very best to keep up with this. No matter what, I will never stop this fic and I will try my best to make any wait worth it. Feel free to drop a like, comment, or anything. Also posted on AO3 under the same name, Enjoy!

Tag list: Tag list: @lolalalooo, @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine,  @mrsfortune1306, @lovesick-heart0, @iamnamjoonsbxtch, @deathkat657, @deeepvibes, @sugamonster22, @weiinihao, @hemmofluke, @rainbow-zebra-unicorns, @joyfullyobsessed-blog, @elvencantation, @thefreddieman, @whateveritis616, @crewzie-chan, @wyomingphantom, @killbillv1, @kyrah-williams, @utterlynutters, @ot7jellostan, @zahraaelamira, @shesaysweirdthings, @toriluvsfics, @emu007, @zae007live​

Chapter 10: An Act of Trust.

            This is incredible, you found yourself repeating as you followed Taehyung through the Magic Shop.

            The mansion was the prime example of the phrase ‘never judge a book by its cover’. Though, if you were being completely honest, Bangtan had shown many examples of that phrase the more you were around them. Where the outside of the Magic Shop was foreboding, broken, and cold, the inside was warm, modern, and inviting. And so well maintained. For a group of young men, the place was immaculate. You thought back to when Jin and Jungkook had cleaned your apartment on the first night and decided that you really shouldn’t be surprised. As you looked about the passing rooms, they were beautifully decorated in a modern style that really complimented everyone and the structure.

            Taehyung had, first, led you down the spiral staircase under the front foyer into what you assumed were the old service areas. Now, it was an expansive garage lined with a vast variety of vehicles. You recognized the truck that Jin had driven you home in, the silver sports car that Taehyung had picked you up in that first day, and the town car that you had just been in. Heuning Kai waved at the two of you from his place by the town car, polishing it to look as new. You looked down the rows in awe. As you took in the fleet of cars, you started to understand that you had vastly underestimated how much money Bangtan must have had. But were all of these bought or were they spoils of the job? Or were some of them stolen? You were really trying not to think so poorly of your hosts, but could it really be helped?

            “Nice, huh?” Taehyung crossed his arms with pride as he leaned against a very nice looking black two-door car. He nodded over towards the familiar pickup truck. “That was the first truck we bought back in the early days. We lived off of cheap ramen and stolen veggies, but it was worth it. Jin put a lot of hardware into it over the years. He stayed up a lot of nights reading mechanic books to make it work for us. Now we’re able to hire mechanics who will follow whatever design and dream he can think up to help us. Like bulletproof glass and exteriors, homing beacons, storage and seats that fold down so we can use the space for anything. They, even, have this feature that sends an alert to all of our phones if the vehicle’s ever in an accident so we can get to each other.”

            “I suppose Jin thought of everything, didn’t he?”

            “Yeah,” Taehyung smiled a huge boxy grin. “Jin-hyung is all about keeping us safe. He’s like the mom of our family. He’s always taken such good care of us.”

            As your eyes roamed across the row of vehicles, your eyes caught sight of a sleek, black motorcycle in the farthest corner of the garage. You had always wanted to ride on one ever since one of Amber’s friends came by the hospital to show his new one off. But you had always been too scared to ask to ride along; working in the ER would do that to a person.

            “Like that? That’s Jungkookie’s, He always wanted one. And Yoongi-hyung and Jiminie bought it for him as a graduation present to encourage him to finish school. He was so excited when he went to go pick it out. It’s his favorite thing. Seems like you like it too. I’m sure if you ask him, he’d take you on a ride. As long as he doesn’t combust from shyness. I’d suggest you wait until you’ve been around him more before you ask him.”

            “Oh no,” you said, turning back towards Tae. “I don’t think that would be very smart. Do you know how many cases in my ER are from motorcycle accidents? I wouldn’t dream of it.” You were sure by the look on Taehyung’s face that he could hear the disappointment in your tone as you tried to fool yourself.

            He smiled. “You know that is the same argument that Jin-hyung said when it was brought home. But I know I have a picture of them riding on it together.”

            Taehyung, then, led you out of the garage. As you ascended the spiral stairs back into the front foyer, you were taken down the hallway where Namjoon had appeared towards the kitchen. The hallway was lined with what looked like framed family portraits of Bangtan throughout the years. There were some of them all together dressed all nice, and a few of them in random units posed in fun ways. It was interesting to see how they grew and changed over the years. But it was, also, sad to see how young they were. You paused in front of what appeared to be their first family photo. Where the other photos were in suits or business casual attire, their first picture looked as if they had watched too many hip-hop music videos. Dressed in fake basketball jerseys and hats, or in layered phony designer shirts and too much eyeliner, they looks so young and inexperienced. You almost didn’t recognize Namjoon with his crazy hair and dark glasses, or Jimin with his very tanned skin and shaggy black hair. And Jungkook looked like he had barely started puberty with his round doe-eyes. It really made you wonder what could cause such young kids to turn to gang life. Yoongi and Namjoon you understood since Yoongi had explained his side to you. But were all their stories the same? You had to figure out how to ask them.

       The kitchen looked like it belonged to a showroom with top-of-the-line appliances set against stunning marble counter tops. You imagined this is what a world class chef would want. It was beyond clean and spacious with a large capacity refrigerator and freezer, a fully stocked wine cabinet that almost reached the ceiling, a huge stove and dual ovens, and a large island that could be used for anything. Off the main part, set against a large set of windows that overlooked a courtyard in the middle of the Magic Shop, was a cozy breakfast nook and a fully stocked coffee bar that could meet the needs of the pickiest of coffee drinkers. There were a few different machines for different types of coffee, syrups, stirrers, and different sugars. The enticing smell of whatever Namjoon had made still permeated the room.

            The only thing that was missing was the staff to man such a space. Perhaps they had the morning off?

            Taehyung opened up the fully stocked cabinets, pantry, and fridge to show off their contents and told you to that you would help yourself to anything whenever you wanted.

            “We always make extra so you can have whatever. Or, if you would rather cook something for yourself, by all means. But since one of us will be with you, we may offer to do it.”

            “You all cook?” You remembered the amount of food Jin had ordered the first night for you and figured that’s what they did regularly.

            “Some of us do,” he remarked with a shrug. “Namjoon-hyung can only really make coffee. And my skills are a bit limited. But the others are really good at it. We always leave leftovers if we are out late on missions for the other. We try to have family dinner when we are all together. And we talked about letting you come too, since you’ll be here for a while. If you want, that is. But trust me, you’re gonna want to.”

            “So, you make your own food? I would expect a place like this would come with a fleet of cooks since you all would be…busy.”

            Taehyung laughed. “You would think so. But we are pretty self-sufficient. Other than our hired Army, we don’t really have a staff full time. I mean, there are two mechanics that come to tune up the cars every month, a couple ladies who come in to do a deep clean every three months or so, and Jin brings in a couple helpers once in a while when he’s stuck in whatever he’s working on. But that’s only a very few very trusted people. They’re all older locals though who we’ve helped over the years, so we know they won’t betray us. It’s just safer if we keep it low. When we bring in new people, it’s blind like how we did with you. Not that we don’t trust you. I mean…” Taehyung started trying to figure out how to better explain it.

            “It’s alright. I understand. I am a stranger to you guys. Despite how many card games I’ve beat you at or coffee dates you take me on.” You smiled as your little joke seemed to ease the tension. “It makes sense really. It’s better to be cautious. If anything happens to me, I wouldn’t be able to say anything even if I could.”

            “Hey,” Tae brought his hand to your shoulder, face very serious, “nothing is going to hurt you here. I trust you. Call it my superpower, but I can read people really well. All the years on the street do that to a person. You are a good person. Otherwise, we would have blindfolded you before you stepped out of the car. Everyone agreed to welcome you in our home not just because of all you’ve done for Hyung. We could have just set you up in a safe house if I thought you were up to something.”

            You were sure he was being genuine with you. He did seem like he was going very beyond the bare minimum he needed to do had it been some other person. You knew he was trying to make you feel safe and comfortable in this whole situation. They were doing so much for you, you just needed to allow yourself to relax and not think about all the other things. You tried to ignore the dark cloud that kept coming up the second you started to forget their profession and focus on the person.

            From the kitchen, you were lead to the outside courtyard. It must have been intended to be a beautiful event space in its conception. There were moss covered statues, an elegant fountain surrounded by ivy covered iron benches, and beautiful plants that brought so much color to the space. Above, there was a façade that looked like a tapered roof covered in ripped tarps that Tae explained let in a lot of light and rain but kept anyone or thing from seeing inside. Bangtan had really thought of everything to keep the Magic Shop secret. Across the courtyard and through another door, you were shown an impressive gym with an attached studio that Taehyung explained was used for combat training, dance practice, or anything they wanted. Next to that was a shower, steam room, and a large indoor swimming pool. All of which was fair game for you to use if you wanted to.

            After that, the excited man showed you what he deemed ‘the living space’. Up the stairs to the second floor, there was a massive formal dining room, a small library that you really wanted to explore, a small infirmary, a game room, and some office used for whatever they wanted to work on privately. He pointed to another staircase and mentioned that some of their bedrooms were up on the third floor and so were Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s personal workspaces. Jin’s workspace was in the basement, while Jungkook’s room and personal gaming room was on the attic floor with Taehyung’s art studio. There was so much space in this house that you began to wonder if there was a map so you wouldn’t get lost. Before you could try to remember how to get back to the last room, you found yourself in an expansive living room. You figured this may be where you’d be spending a majority of your time. The room was open design with a massive L-shaped couch that seemed like it could fit more than seven, sleek coffee tables, two elegant armchairs with oversized ottomans, and a few beanbag chairs stacked in a corner. Mounted to the wall was a huge flat screen television and on either side of it where towering shelves full of movies, tv series, music, and video games to last a lifetime. There were multiple gaming consoles stacked neatly on top. And on the far wall, there was a small mini fridge, a cupboard with snacks, and a small bar. It was homely and comfortable.

            “We spend a lot of our down time together in here,” Taehyung said, smiling at your awed expression. “It’s probably one of my favorite rooms, besides my bedroom.”

            “I can see why. It has pretty much everything in here. It’s bigger than my apartment. Well, this house is so large it’s a wonder how you can find anyone in here. I still haven’t seen Jimin, Jungkook, or Jin. I feel like I could walk right past them in here and never know it.”

            “Well, Jin is on the basement level working on something. We won’t need to go down there. There is nothing there that’d interest you. Honestly, it’s a bit more confusing to get down there anyway so just try to stay on the first two floors. But. he’ll come up for lunch in a while. Since I didn’t see Jungkook in here or the gym, my guess is that he is probably still in his room. He was up late last night playing video games and is most likely still sleeping. But if ever in doubt, always start looking for him in the gym or where his games are. As for Jimin, I’m not sure where he is. He was excited for you to come to the Magic Shop. I thought he would meet us in the front or outside. That was his plan anyway. Something might have come up. I’m sure we’ll see him at lunch. Oh yeah, there’s someone else I want you to meet. Now, where is he?”

            Suddenly, while you were distracted by some of the framed, less staged photos on the wall, something small and fuzzy ran across your foot. You shrieked and it took everything in your body to keep from kicking at whatever it was as you fell back into one of the armchairs. Taehyung let out a loud laugh that filled the space and had him holding his sides.

            “Tannie! There’s my baby boy.” You turned over the chair to watch him stoop over and pick up a small black and brown Pomeranian puppy. The puppy yipped happily and gave his owner sloppy kisses that Tae returned. “I was wondering where you had gotten off too. Such a silly boy. You shouldn’t scare our guest like that. She’s a nice girl, the one I told you about. Say you’re sorry.”          

            The puppy let out a big yawn. You weren’t sure if that was the apology Taehyung was expecting.

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to react like that. I’ve been a bit jumpier than usual. I wasn’t expecting such a tiny thing to come running at me. You guys never mentioned that you had a dog.”

            “I didn’t? That doesn’t sound like me. I could have sworn I had talked about him a few times back in the hospital.” If you were honest, he might have. But there were plenty of times when you were fighting your many battles about trusting them that you tuned out most of the conversations. “This is Yeontan. He’s only eight months old. You don’t mind dogs, do you?”

            “No, I like all animals. He’s very cute,” you pushed off from the chair and stepped a bit closer. When Taehyung held the small dog out to you, you reached over and lightly scratched him behind his fuzzy ear. Yeontan let out a happy noise and licked your hand. You laugh a bit. “He’s so sweet. But I’ll be honest. I would never have suspected someone like you to have such a tiny dog.”

            “Oh, sure. I get that. Jungkookie keeps saying we should get a Doberman as a guard dog. That would definitely fit our image better. But I could never replace Tannie. He’s all mine.” Taehyung hugged the puppy close, and it warmed your heart. “I’ve always wanted a little dog ever since I was a kid. But a bad home life made it difficult. But all the guys pulled together and helped me get this little guy as a present. And I sold a few pieces in order to save up for classes so I could better take care of him. I wanted to be the best owner for him.”

            The way that Taehyung spoke and interacted with the dog was such a juxtaposition to the wicked mafia persona you had figured hid beneath. It was so cute that you could only wonder if someone would ever treat you with the same amount of affection. Had you not known about that side of his life, you’d swear he was just this lovable guy with a large heart. Though, something he had said gave you pause.

            “Save up? I feel like you all have more money than I can even imagine. I mean,” you made a grand gesture to the room, “why would you need to save up for anything?”

            “I’m sure it seems that way. Sure, we’re pretty well off. But when we first started, we were so poor, we didn’t have enough money to eat. We stole from the gas station just to eat once a day. And when we started out, we were nobodies, so it wasn’t like we were making anything. Whatever we did earn from gang activities went to important things like medicine and renting a room for the night, so we didn’t have to sleep on the street. Then, it went towards necessities, like weapons for protection or clothes so we wouldn’t freeze in the winter. Or bail when we got caught by the police. So, to ensure we would be able to make it and not be picked off by the other gangs, we got day jobs. Namjoon worked the gas station we stole from to make it up to the old man who owned it, Yoongi-hyung was a delivery boy, and Hobi-hyung and Jimin worked at a dance studio. Kookie and I found ways to help. The only one who had any money was Jin-hyung. His family was loaded. When I first met Jin-hyung, before I met the others, he was a student, and I was a street kid just trying not to go home. I saw him at a bus stop I used to tag all the time. He said my work was cool and just like a puppy, I started hanging around him. He fed me and even tried to teach me what he was learning since I dropped out. Then we met the others and Jin-hyung was using his money to help us. But when his father learned who he was hanging around, he cut him off. Until he was able to black mail his father.”

            “But,” Taehyung continued, seeing how off topic he was getting, “the point was, we always had other ways to get money that weren’t gang related. Even now, as big as we are, we still have little side jobs we do. It breaks up the monotony and gives us a little bit of an escape. What we earn from gang activities belongs to Bangtan; the upkeep of the house, paying Army, hospital bills, and our equipment. Anything we earn from our side hustle is ours for our own pleasure. That dance studio that Jimin and Hobi-hyung worked at, they now own. Jungkookie competes in videogame competitions and films himself playing games on the internet. Jin continues his family business, without his actual family. And Namjoon-hyung and Yoongi-hyung did music underground back in the day before all the gang stuff, and they still do. They write and produce demos and sell them. You’ve probably heard a few of their stuff. And we all help them sometimes. We joke that if we weren’t in this line of work, we’d probably be a world-renowned band. Funny huh?”

            Wow, you thought as you tried to process what he had just told you. There is so much more to these guys than I thought. How can they be this down to earth?

            “And what do you do?”

            “I told you that I used to be a street artist, right? Nothing too special; just tagging and doing funny graffiti. But the others really inspired me to keep going. Hell, Namjoon got arrested with me when I was attempting to improve some offensive street art someone left outside one of our favorite places just because he wanted to see me improve myself. Now, I’ve moved to a bunch of different mediums; I’ve tried charcoal, photography, drawing, and painting. I took all of those pictures,” he said pointing to the walls. “It’s pretty easy to find a muse when you have a great support system. Here let me show you some of my pieces.” He took your hand and led you out of the living room with a bounce in his step.

            He took you up the stairs and to his art room. You were fairly positive that this was not supposed to be part of the tour since this was where their more private spaces were. But the look on Tae’s face when he showed you his art room was enough to show you that he was very excited to show off his work to you. The room had hardwood floors and walls covered with different sizes of framed pictures of different famous artists that he admired. The room was loaded with supplies like stacks of canvases, drawing supplies and paints, different cameras, and drop clothes to protect the floor. There was a small couch and chairs that you recognized from some of the family portraits. He went over to a desk and grabbed a book. It was labeled Vante, which you remember used to be his street artist name before he shortened it to V for his gang related work. He flipped through the book and handed it to you when he found what he was looking for. There were pictures of different art pieces he had made. Each page had photos of the progression and the finished product with handwritten notes next to it as to when it was sold and for how much. The numbers made your eyes widen. There were things that you would expect to see in a museum. You were speech-less.

            He grabbed your hand once again and led you out of the studio and into the hallway. There were some more pieces hanging throughout the hallways, those he wouldn’t part with. There was one that was so breathtaking; it was a black and gray background, with a single light source from up center. In the center of the spotlight was a dancer clad in white, whose body was carved through shadows and face shown pale in the light, eyes closed in a serene way as if he was lost in the music you couldn’t hear. His arm was extended up to the light like a ballet dancer, so graceful. His hair, a steely blue, and the gathering shadows accentuate his sharp yet delicate features. And the more you looked at it, the more you began to realize that you had seen this person before.

            It was Jimin.

            As you were led to more art pieces, you started to realize that Taehyung had used Bangtan in many of them. They were breath taking. Not only were they all so good-looking, but the way Taehyung painted or photographed them made them look otherworldly. Near the end of a staircase that would lead to the top floor back to the floor some of their bedrooms could be found on, you found yourself stopped in front of what you came to realize was your favorite. It was a black and white photo made to look like a painting. There were seven people in front of a white background that looked like hands reaching out for each other. Five of the seven were leaning on each other, hunched over in a dramatic way. In the center were the final two, both with their arm up, one reaching for the sky and the other grasping the first wrist afraid to slip and let go. It was so simple yet complex, so artistic. You weren’t sure how long you were staring at it until Taehyung’s voice cut through your thoughts.

            “I was commissioned to make this for someone. But when it was done, I couldn’t part with it. The others loved it too. They hated that I was supposed to sell it to someone who wouldn’t understand it. So, Yoongi-hyung paid the commissioner for it, three times what he was going to pay me for it. Said he didn’t care how much the man wanted for it. It meant so much to us that it was priceless. Yoongi-hyung says it’s his favorite. I think it’s yours too.”

            “It’s so beautiful. You are truly an amazing artist.”

            “I have some great muses.”

            Taehyung and you stood there in silence a bit more before the silence was broken by someone coming out of one of the rooms. It was Hoseok. He looked a bit disheveled and breathless as if he had just run a mile, hair no longer sleek and tidy. He closed the door softly and turned with a grin, licking his lips in some sort of victory. He clapped his hands together and started down the hall with a hop in his step.

            He froze when he saw the two of you looking at him. “Umm...” he started nervously, “what are you two doing up here?”

            Oh right, I’m probably not meant to be up here. That’s why he’s confused. You turned your eyes back to the floor and your shoulders started to hunch. You didn’t want to intrude on their space. You were just following Taehyung and thought it was okay. But it would seem like not everyone was alright with his idea.

            Tae noticed the change in your posture and was having none of that, especially after he worked so hard to get you out of your shell to begin with. “I told you I was going to show her around the house. I was showing Y/N some of my artwork in my studio and figured I would show off the good ones. She really likes this one. I can’t say I blame her.”

            Hobi looked over at the painting. “Oh yeah, it is pretty. But don’t you have a copy of it in your phone you could have shown her? I thought we were just gonna keep it to the ground floors until Namjoon-.”

            “I’m sorry,” you said, arms wrapping around yourself in a nervous way. “I’m not trying to intrude. I wouldn’t have come up here unless Taehyung had brought me.”

            Hoseok noticed the way your hand clenched at your clothes and how you didn’t look at him in the face. And suddenly, he felt bad. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just surprised. We normally don’t have people up here. I wasn’t expecting you. I don’t care if you come up here. Just as long as you don’t go into any rooms without permission.”

            “Well, of course she won’t, hyung. You see how nervous she is just at the thought of intruding. I just didn’t want her sitting in one room all day. Jeez, she’ll probably be hanging on the first two floors anyways. That’s where all the fun is.”

            Hobi threw his hands up in defeat. “Alright, Taehyungie, I get it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Y/N, I’m sorry. I was just surprised. It’s been a long morning.” You nodded your head in confirmation.

            “Now to a better point. What were you doing?” Taehyung fixed his hyung with an accusing look and a smirk from behind you. As if I can’t guess.

            Hobi frowned back at Taehyung before pushing his hand through his hair to tidy himself back up. “I was making sure Hyung went to rest and not back to work. You know how Yoongi-hyung can be when he’s away from his screens. He took some convincing but he’s asleep now in his room. And I,” he fished a key from the pocket of his jeans, “stole the key to the Genius Lab so he won’t be tempted to sneak in and work. He should be out for a few hours. He may skip lunch for now, but I’ll make sure he eats before he needs to have his next dosage for you.” He smiled brightly at you. “So, what do you think of the Magic Shop?”

            “It’s incredible. You guys must have really worked hard to make it so beautiful.”

            “Yeah, it took a few years to get right. But it’s been such a great sanctuary for us. Tell you what, I need to go into town for a bit. I’m sure Taehyung has told you about the dance studio if he’s showing off all his side work. I need to pick up Jimin. He apparently was called in this morning to help with some minor things but he’s not feeling too well to drive back alone. But when I get home, I’ll show you something we’ve been working on with the kids in our class. It’s really fun. Then we can all have lunch.” Hobi moved past you two, making sure to greet Tannie with a series of silly voices and pets.

            Taehyung gave his hyung a confused look. “Is Minnie okay?”

            “Yeah, he’s fine. It’s just about the end of the month. I’m sure he’s gonna try to push it off again.” Realization dawned on Taehyung and he smacked his head for overlooking it with everything going on. You didn’t ask what they meant since it really wasn’t your business. Perhaps it was just some stress related thing that focused on his time of the month. You were sure with everything going on, Bangtan must push themselves too far and that leads to poor health. If Jimin was sick, you would be happy to check him out since you were there to be an in-home care. It would give you something else to focus on. The two said goodbye and Hobi dashed down the stairs.

            “Come on, let’s take Tannie out in the courtyard and I’ll show you some more of pieces on the way.

            You happily followed him, chasing after the positive feeling you had earlier. Your anxieties had been growing more difficult to contain. It must be because you weren’t taking your medicine. You were hoping Dr. Na would have been helpful in finding out what it was so you could get back on track. But with everything that happened back at the hospital, you hadn’t been so lucky. You didn’t even turn in the script he had given you for a mild antianxiety medication to take in its place because you were still so mad at him and hurt. And yet, here you were with the people who ruined him for you, acting like they were your friend. All these feelings and emotions were confusing.

            As you arrived back on the second floor and at the landing of the familiar staircase, you both could hear someone walking around, pacing by the sounds of it. At first, you thought it was Hoseok again, but Namjoon’s voice could be heard just a harsh whisper. Whoever he was talking to, he was not happy about something.

            “I can’t believe you are trying to blow me off right now. How is that fair? My family needs security. Didn’t you say it would only take you a few hours? I know I got the dates mixed up but that shouldn’t matter to you. If you haven’t noticed, my family’s been in a bit of chaos recently and you were supposed to help ease some of my tension with information. At least tell me what you do have. What do you mean you aren’t done with your initial check? Why isn’t it done? I’m sure you’re busy, but you owe me!” The closer the two of you got to the stairs, the more you could pick up the frustration in Namjoon’s voice. He walked from a hallway near the bottom of the stairs, phone raised to his ear. He had changed from his morning clothes into a pair of jeans and a blue sweater, something more presentable. He didn’t seem aware of the two of you, so engrossed with his conversation. His eyes were narrow behind his glasses. He was agitated in a way you hadn’t seen since he saved you from Choi the first time. And you were not a fan of seeing him angry. “You said you’d come today and now you’re flaking out on me when I need you? That’s really great, Jackson. No, I am not overreacting. I trusted my gut to a point, but I need hard facts here. I needed them yesterday. Just go with it? Jackson, they’re in my house now, and you’re telling me to go with it?! No, two days is not okay! Don’t make me chase you down, you son of a bitch.” He let out a growl that didn’t fit with his current image. Taehyung didn’t like how mad his leader was getting. The younger knew full well what Namjoon was so angry about and he wished he hadn’t used a flighty character like Jackson to do something Tae could have easily done. But he knew that Namjoon needed an outsider’s opinion. “Fucking fine, how long? You better be here in two days or so help me…,” he let the person on the other end of the phone fill in the blank before he ended the call with a huff.

            Taehyung took the opportunity to clear his throat to announce your presence, which startled Joon more than he would have liked. It took him a second before he let his emotions slip back behind the mask of a calm leader you had come to expect. You were aware that Tae was standing closer to you than before, like he was securing your place next to him.

            “Everything ok, hyung?”

            “Yeah, sorry, didn’t see you there. How much did you hear?”

            “Just you getting mad. But don’t worry, it’s all good.” You gather that Taehyung knew exactly what Namjoon was wanting from this Jackson person but didn’t want to explain it to you. He grabbed your hand with his free one and pulled you down the stairs. “Y/N got to meet Tannie. We know how much he doesn’t like new people and, guess what, he likes her. How great is that? He never likes people other than you guys so quickly. He must know she’s a good person.”

            You weren’t sure what else that was supposed mean, but it made the wheels in Namjoon’s head start to turn. Was that conversation about you? Did he not trust you in his home? Then why had they discussed bringing you here? He had hesitated back when Taehyung had mentioned showing you around the house. You knew they wanted to be careful, but wasn’t it their idea to bring you in? Why would he be so concerned now? You remember that he was supposed to talk to you about it before bringing you here but had forgotten. Was it more than just easing you into this that he wanted to talk about? Maybe this was a mistake? Or were you just overthinking things again?

            “Well, I’m taking Y/N to the courtyard. Don’t let Jackson mess you up. You’re smarter than him anyways. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

            You started to follow Taehyung back down the hall. As you passed, you could tell that Namjoon was struggling with something. If it was about you, you wanted to tell him that you would do whatever made them more comfortable, even if that meant staying in one place like you wanted to with Hoseok. But Taehyung took your hand again and gave it a squeeze, like he knew you were overthinking things again. “Wait a second,” Namjoon said, voice sounding like he had come to a firm decision.

            The two of you stopped and looked back at Bangtan’s leader. He took a deep breath. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here. And I mean it when I say welcome to our home. This is a bit new for us but considering the circumstances, this is the best option. Jin and I had been talking before about what happens when you come here, and both agree that we want you to be comfortable and not worried about anything. So, that being said, we came to an agreement about something very important. And I’ll let you decide what happens here. I know you said you want us to keep the darker side of our work away from you, and we have tried to respect that as much as possible. Being in our home may make that a bit more challenging. But we are still willing to do that if you want us to. But if you want, this may make being here a whole lot easier and may clear up some of those hesitations about us you may have,”

            You were willing to listen to what he had to say. “What is it?”

            “Yeah, hyung,” Taehyung said, tentatively, unsure of where this was going. “What do you mean? I don’t think we’ve talked about whatever this is.”

            “We haven’t Tae. But Jin-hyung and I talked about it before and based on some gut feelings, this may be for the best for everyone. But it ultimately falls on Y/N to decide. Jin would like to say ‘hello’ to you. He’s in his lab.”

            “Lab?” You had heard them mention a lab many times but you didn’t think that’s what it was. But by the way that Taehyung reacted to and, and how he had mentioned how you wouldn’t want to go down there, made you realize this was more than that.

            “Namjoon-hyung, are you sure about that?”

            He waved Taehyung off. “Like I said, this may make things for you much easier to understand and take some fear of us away. But if you prefer, we can just ignore it fully. But if you are willing, Jin-hyung would like to show you something in his lab. Jin-hyung does a lot of research and is working on something very important that may change how you see us. But it’s important. But if you don’t want to, I’ll understand, and we’ll keep pretending like nothing has changed. I give you control.”

            You hadn’t had much control over the life you could remember. Leaving your ex and choosing to help Bangtan was really the first taste of control you had, and it was still scary. Maybe being in the dark was a good option. But them allowing you to have a say really meant a lot to you. The fear of what you would find out started to be outweighed by the prospect of clarity. But what if they were wrong? Was it better to stay in the dark? You started to wring your hands together. You had already started to change your view of them since Yoongi had talked about his past and Taehyung had showed you things you would have never thought you’d come to see from them. Was that enough to trust that Namjoon was doing what he thought was best? Looking into his eyes, you saw only patience as he allowed you time to process all the thoughts and feelings.

            You took a deep breath. “I hope this goes the way you planned.”

                                       ****************************

            As you followed in step behind Namjoon and Taehyung, with Yeontan held comfortably in the younger’s hand, in a darkened tunnel, you were really hoping that this would go the way Namjoon had hoped. They had taken you from the front foyer where you had started and down the same hall that led to the kitchen. You had been so had been so distracted by the pictures on the wall that you hadn’t noticed that there was an arched door to the left just before you reached the end of the hall. Namjoon pressed his thumb against a scanner on the doorknob and the sound of multiple heavy locks snapped open echoed against the walls. The door swung open to a granite stairway that was dimly lit. Namjoon had explained that this used to take guests down to the old train platform before they renovated it. When they had first taken residence, it had been so ill-kempt and dilapidated that they worried the tunnels would collapse. Most of the platforms and tunnels had been sealed and closed off. And a few that were in good condition were converted into something useful. But the biggest had been designated as Jin’s personal work area. At the bottom of the staircase, you could see the old remnants of the old train tunnels and platforms. The tunnel was dimly lit but you could still see the curve of the arched ceiling, the old support beams, the drop off from the platform to the old rail ways. Claustrophobia started to tighten its fingers around your throat, and your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag in some way to ground yourself. You were sure that anyone who had stumbled into here would have found it abandoned and unsafe. Which, in hindsight, was probably what Bangtan wanted. But you reminded yourself that they wouldn’t put you in danger. And this was supposed to help you.

            Ahead of you, Taehyung and Namjoon were whispering to each other. You were trying not to eavesdrop, but you did catch that Tae seemed worried about this plan. At least he was trying to keep his promise to you and keep you away from things like this. You really did appreciate that and found yourself believing that he really was your friend here. This was a very big deviation from the plan that the two of you had agreed upon a few weeks ago. But something in the way that you caught Namjoon’s plea for the younger to trust him made you want to believe that this was to make everything better. You understood that this was a very big step for them and something that would probably never be taken into consideration. So, this had mean more than you anticipated. You didn’t want to try to imagine what you were being led to. Could it be a scare tactic to make sure you didn’t talk, or something to bribe you? Neither of those fit with the way that Namjoon had presented the option to come down here and you wanted to believe that Taehyung wouldn’t allow it. You took a deep breath to try to refocus your mind on anything else.

            After a bit, as you started to wonder if there was ever an end to this dark tunnel, you could just make out the bricked-up wall that blocked the rest of the way. It was a dead-end, complete with road blockers covered in an inch of dust, caution tape that looked ancient, and crumbling stones. Another façade. Namjoon reached out to one of the broken bricks and pulled it down like it was a lever, which it was, as a door clicked. The door of bricks slid open like some secret passageway in a spy movie revealing a thick wall of steel and a flood of bright light illuminated your shocked face.

            You felt like Alice after she fell down the rabbit hole as you stepped from the dark granite onto sterile white tile. How could you still be in the same place? Taehyung had called it a basement workshop and Namjoon had called it a lab, but this was beyond what you could have imagined based on those descriptions. It was like you had stepped into some blockbuster superhero’s hideaway. The lab was large, larger than the pharmaceutical one at Mercy. There seemed to be sections where different projects were being handled. Stainless steel tables were covered with different lab equipment that looked familiar, vials filled with many different liquids and powders, microscopes of varying sizes and usages, chemical analyzers, and centrifuges of the highest quality. On a wall, there were many canisters of different drugs based on the labels you could make out, many of them you had used in the hospital.  Two people in white lab coats were noting some results of something in a petri dish that you were sure you didn’t want to know what it was. Looking behind the amount of lab equipment, there was a small medical area that looked like a walk-in clinic you had visited once before coming to Central. There was an exam table, stretcher, enough emergency medical supplies that made you feel like you were back in the ER. If they had all of this at their disposal, they surely didn’t really need you around. You remembered Jin had once mentioned he had medical training and took care of the others, but you assumed it was first aid training and not actual medical training.

            On the other side of the room, as clean and as well organized as the lab and medical area, was another workshop that was dedicated to all sorts of different tools and weapons of their trade. There were blueprints for a variety of items pinned to a board with notes and arrows all around them. There were multiple wide touch screens with information and numbers, molds and mockups, knives, guns, and other weapons in different ranges of finishes. You could see three or four dummies that looked as if they had been very well used. One had a vest on with bullet holes in it, another had slashes and stab marks that you dared not think about. Further back, there was what appeared to be a small shooting target lined with thick glass that you assumed was bulletproof to protect the workers. There was another person in a white lab coat and goggles who was working intently on piecing together a handgun. And in the very center of the room, sat a huge computer with four different large, active screens, was Jin. He was dressed sharply, as he always was, complete with a stark white lab coat. A pair of round silver glasses slid down his nose as he scribbled something on a notepad while looked at something dissolving in a yellow liquid. He looked like some handsome yet mad scientist at work. The glow of the screens cast a pale pallor on his skin and you could see a tiredness on his drawn features. Whatever he was working on, he must have been at it for a while, or was stressing him out a bit.

            “Did I somehow stumble into the Batcave?”

            “Feels like that sometimes. Jin-hyung’s like the Korean Bruce Wayne isn’t he,” Taehyung laughed.

            “I think he’d prefer Tony Stark,” Namjoon remarked.

            “Aren’t they the same thing,” you asked.

            “I’ll ignore that since you’re cute, Darling,” Jin called out, never looking from the liquid in the beaker in his hand. “But there is a preferrable difference.”

            Yeontan started squirming in Taehyung’s arms until he was placed on the tile and ran to Jin’s side. The tiny puppy jumped, trying to climb up into his lap, crying out for more attention.

            “Aish,” Jin exclaimed, dropping the beaker on the table, thankfully not breaking. “Taehyung why is Yeontan in my lab?! We talked about this.”

            “But he missed his Uncle Jin so much,” Taehyung smirked.

            Jin rolled his eyes as he scooped up the puppy and made his way over to the three of you. He handed the puppy back to Taehyung after scratching the pup’s tiny head. “Just keep an eye on him. I don’t want to think of what he could get into.” He turned his attention to you, flashing you a warm smile. “Welcome to my lab, Y/N. I’m so glad you decided to join us down here. I promise that you won’t regret it. I was hoping to meet you when you first got here but I’ve been quite busy. I trust Taehyung has shown you the house. Though,” he fixed the younger with a sideways glance, “I see he didn’t show you where to put your stuff down and has made you carry it all this way. I know I have taught you better manners than that.”

            “No, he’s been such a good host. I just never set it down. Actually, it’s been nice to hang onto,” you explained, saving Taehyung from whatever tongue lashing he was about to receive. “It gives my nervous hands something to do.”

            “Ah, well, we do know a bit about anxiety and habits here. Do whatever you need to feel comfortable.” He dusted off his hands and slipped his glasses into the top pocket of his lab coat.

            Up close, Jin looked just as amazing as always. Your hands tightened around the strap of your bag again, just to keep from getting overwhelmed. This was going to be a normal occurrence if they were all going to be here with you. His pink hair was combed back from his face as if he had ran his fingers through it many times while working. He was wearing a white button up shirt with a grey sweater vest, dark trousers, and polished shoes. Somehow, he always looked like he was modeling for something. Though, you did notice a bit of bruising peeking out on his collarbone.

            “Are you okay? It looks like you had some issues with CrossFit too.”

            Jin looked at you with a look of utter confusion. “CrossFit?”

            You nodded. “Yes, Namjoon has one too. He said he got it from doing CrossFit with you. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.”

            Jin’s eye were drawn behind you to his members, who were silently trying to communicate without drawing your attention. Joon was pointing to the mark on his own neck before making a pleading motion with his hands. Taehyung was trying to communicate their intention with his eyes as much as possible.

            “Oh yeah,” Jin said, slowly, realization striking him before he slid back into his trained persona so not to arise any suspicion from you. “CrossFit. Right. Well, you know how it goes. He crossed me so I did what I saw fit.” From behind you, Namjoon seemed to choke on air and Taehyung tried his best to stifle a laugh. You turned around to see what was going on, completely confused and clearly missing something. But Jin turned your attention back to him. “Don’t worry about me, Darling. My perfect skin may be marred for the moment but I will survive. But thank you for your concern.”

            “Well, it is sort of my job. Though based on what I see, you really don’t need me.”

            “Nonsense! You are a professional, and we could definitely use someone with your delicate touch. Whatever you may need, you can just ask. And if I don’t have it, I will get it for you faster than any hospital could. I know many higher ups in all the companies in the country and they would leap at the chance to get in my good graces.”

            Suddenly, a loud bang ricocheted off the wall and made you scream and drop your bag, spilling its contents all over the floor. Bangtan only moved from your scream. Jin’s hands came up to grasp your shoulders, steadying you and trying to reassure you of your safety. He bend down so he was able to look into your eyes and whispered assurances that you were alright. From behind Jin, the young man who had been dealing with the handgun had finished piecing it together and fired a shot at the target. He looked over at you with a surprised look on his face, not realizing someone new was in the room. Taehyung had already crossed the room and snatched the gun from the younger’s hands and stowing it away. He gave Soobin a pointed look that spoke volumes. Namjoon had stoop down to start retrieving your bag. 

            “Soobin,” Jin yelled over his shoulder, “you didn’t think to look up before you shot that? Or at least put a silencer on it?”

            “I’m sorry, sir,” the youth replied. “I’m really sorry ma’am.” He scrambled away from the work bench and over to you all to assist Namjoon in locating all of your items.

            “I’m sorry, Darling, I really didn’t want something to scare you. My intention was to make this less scary for you. Here, come sit over here. Take a deep breath for me. Taehyung, can you go get her some water? Take another deep breath, Darling. Yes, just like that.”

            “This was a mistake,” you said between breaths, alternating between wringing and shaking your hands to try get the tremors to stop. Your voice was cracking as you tried to keep from crying out of sheer panic. “I shouldn’t have agreed to come in here. Why did you think this would be a good idea? What was the point? To scare me into keeping your secrets?

            “Absolutely not. We would never want to put you through that. We trust that you won’t say anything. This was to shed some light on what we’re actually doing here.”

            Taehyung appeared next to you with a bottle of water, which you graciously took and swallowed half the bottle.

            “Hyungs,” he pleaded, “maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. We wanted her to be comfortable and she asked us to hide this part of us as much as possible.”

            “And we did,” Jin agreed. “Y/N, we tried. And it was easier when it was just going from your place to the hospital and back. But with you being in our house, unless we lock you up in the living room, it’s going to be hard for you not to see some aspect of our work. That’s why Joon and I had this conversation. We thought that after all the time we spent making this relationship with you that you’d trust us enough. And we thought if you saw what we are working on down here, it might clear the air and ease some of these anxieties that still plague you. But we’ve taken an unexpected turn. Just try to relax. You’re still shaking.”

            “I wish I had taken Doctor Na’s offer for some new anti-anxiety medication,” you muttered to yourself, remembering his suggestion in the stairwell. You had a feeling your anxieties were just going to get worse.

            You looked over as Namjoon came to the desk with your bag, all its contents gathered back inside. All except a familiar clear bottle. Your old medication that you had forgotten was in there since the night Doctor Na had followed you into the stairwell after you saw the exchange of U4-1A. The familiar want you felt then of wanting to down that last pill in the bottle and escape world came back. But you didn’t take it then, you didn’t need it now. You wanted nothing to do with that past life anymore. Hell, you only wanted to know what it was so you could find an alternative that wouldn’t remind you of Daniel. But the temptation was strong as Namjoon held it out for you.

            “This is yours, right,” he questioned. “I found it rolled under a table. And it doesn’t look like anything Jin-hyung’s been working on.”

            “It’s mine,” you said as you took it from him. “It’s old medication from my ex-…um, I mean, from my accident. I ran out and Doctor Na was trying to figure out what it was since the label’s been lost. But our hospital pharmacy couldn’t identify it. I forgot to clean out my bag with…everything going on.”

            “May I?” Jin held out his hand for the bottle. You shrugged, handing it to him. He dumped the pill into his palm and started to examine it with the same focused intensity as he had earlier. He made a face. “A generic white pill with no discernable characteristics. And you don’t remember its name?”

            “I don’t remember ever hearing it. I started taking it after I woke up from my accident. The nurse or my ex would just bring it to me. And then, Daniel would get it refilled after that since I couldn’t drive. When I came to Central, I only had what was left in the bottle and had to space it out. I haven’t taken it for a couple weeks now. It’s probably why my anxiety is really bad.”

            “I can find out what it is for you. I guarantee I’ll have more success than some basic pharmacist fresh out of school. I’ve some connections I can talk with to help me analyze it. And,” Jin held up a hand to silence the protest you were about to pose, “these connections are not gang related. Before I became estranged from my family, I was the second heir to the largest pharmaceutical company in all the country. Despite my father’s best efforts, I was very friendly and charming with our specialists and made plenty of valuable connections to help me in the future. So, if anyone can figure out what this is, it’s me.”

            You were stunned into silence. You remember him mentioning medical training and about his father pushing for a different career, but you never imagined he was a part of the Kim Pharmaceutical dynasty. Of course, you had heard of them; all the hospitals pharmacies in the city were stocked with their products, and every doctor read their research reports and trail information. They beat out every other company when it came to advancements in health services. And they were close to celebrity status amongst the papers. You recalled overhearing some pharmacy interns at lunch talking about them. They mentioned that the company was ran by the Senior Mr. Kim, who had been married twice after his first wife passed, leaving him with two sons to take over the company in the next few decades. The oldest was always showing up in the papers. And the second son was said to be away at some foreign school. Which, now knowing that Jin was the second son, was much better for their publicity than saying ‘a part of the most notorious drug dealing, ruthless Mafia families’. You remembered that night in your apartment when Jin had mentioned blackmailing his father for access to his assets. And, looking around at the lab, it seemed to have paid off well.

            As you let the information settle in your mind, you realized that your hands had stopped shaking and your breathing had evened back out. They had successfully distracted you from your panic so your mind could recenter. Well, you recalled, they did say that they had experience with anxiety.

            “Come on, Y/N,” Taehyung said, gently, “let’s head back upstairs. We’ll find something normal to distract ourselves until the others are ready for lunch.”

            “Alright,” you said with a deep sigh, “but, before I have another panic attack here, what was so important that I had to come down here? Just tell me. Please.”

            “Ah, of course,” Jin said, reaching over to a drawer and pulling out a small clear container. Inside, you could see several small, heart -shaped, pink tablets, no bigger than a breath mint. You had seen the news, read the papers, heard the doctors talking about it. That was U4-1A, Euphoria. When the first few cases had started coming into your ER, you were told to check and see if they had those heart-shaped pills on them, though you had never seen them. The distinct pink color was, also, a dead giveaway; it was the same color the user’s irises turned when they were high on the addictively deadly substance. The few times you had been in the room with some of the addicts that Doctor Na was working with, you recalled a rose-colored ring on the edges of their eyes that seemed so unnatural. Your stomach twisted at the thought of Henry taking the drug from Namjoon when he was supposed to be helping people. He couldn’t even deny it. “You know what this is?”

            “Why the hell would you show that to me?! I asked for one thing. I could look past some things, try to ignore things. Like I could ignore the amount of money coming and going. I could ignore the weapons, or any other reminders. But I asked specificity for this not be mentioned.”

            “Darling,” Jin chided in an amused tone, “I just asked what this was.”

            “Are you fucking for real? It’s Euphoria…”

            “Wrong,” Jin interrupted as he reached out and tapped you on the nose, completely taking you off guard and disarming you. “This isn’t Euphoria, or U4-1A. This is Euphoric. U4-1C.”

            Never heard of that. “Okay. So, what? It’s a knock off?”

            Jin looked offended. “A knock off. My dear, like me, it’s an original that others fail to compare to. It is the only one of its kind and so important to the work we do here. And before you insinuate, no, it is not what started this addict epidemic. The ones who have that despicable honor are Ji and the Royals. This” he held it up to you again so you could see it was more closely shaped like a triangle, “is my solution to it. For the past five or six years now, I have been secretly working on a counter agent to make that horrid drug obsolete and save the people who either willing or unwilling were made to take it. This is going to be the antidote. It’s not finished fully. I haven’t been able to fully identify the exact formula the Royals use. And it’s not an instant cure. But introducing this to someone going through withdrawals, instead of to induce a sexual release, the addict would just need to exert themselves another way, like exercise or something else that released the pleasure signal in the brain. It takes a lot of time and constant dosing but I’ve gotten it to where after so long it can be tapered off from every day to once a month, and soon only once every other month. I am making a cure. And we pass it out to those in need. That’s what I wanted you to see. That we aren’t the bad guys. Well… at least not for this.”

            You let his words absorb and you felt like you had been doused with cold water. So, when Hwasa cornered Namjoon in the hallway of the hospital and took something from his pocket and mentioned ‘someone will find your kindness absolutely… euphoric’, she was taking an antidote to someone addict to U4-1A? That means…what Namjoon had given Henry, what Henry had used for his patients, what he couldn’t talk about was that he was accepting a possible progressive treatment for the poor souls in the hospital. He was, indeed, a good person. And you had thought the worst of him. Any time he tried to talk to you, you’d run in the other direction. You blocked his number and deleted any trace in your phone. You had thrown away everything because you didn’t want to believe him when he had begged you to trust him. 

            “Oh my god,” was all you could say as your head fell into your hands. “I have made a total ass of myself.” Was there a chance Henry would listen to your apology after all of that?

            “You see,” Taehyung said, “I told you we knew the damage Euphoria does to people. We’ve been trying to fight this.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Like that night in the car?”       

            “It’s still a work in progress and a secret,” Namjoon said. “Only a few gangs that have proven trustworthy know we supply it. And they distribute it within their own territory. Or, in the case of your doctor friend, those who did us a great service. We did intimidate him into silence. Which was what you must have seen. Can’t say I blame you for what you thought based on what it looked like. He’d get more if he stayed silent. We don’t want our name attached to it just yet. The Royals already want us dead based on our past with them and our part in the Great War. If they knew what Jin-hyung was doing, it would a bigger target on our backs. But once it’s completely finished, then we’ll openly distribute it to the hospitals and clinics. But we hope that you understand the importance of this secret for us. It’s more than just our lives at risk if the wrong people get word of it. And if Choi already thinks that you’re with us, imagine how much worse it will be when he finds out that we are destroying yet another income for them. Do you understand, Y/N?”

            “This whole time, you’ve been doing a great feat and I’ve been so focused on the rumors. You really are the good guys trying to help?”

            “We’re really good at hiding ourselves. We’ve had years of practice showing the persona we want people to believe.

            “Yeah,” Taehyung said with a cheeky grin, “I mean look at Namjoon-hyung. He puts on a persona that he’s smooth when, in reality, he’s a giant dork who breaks everything he touches.”

            “I’ll break you, you fucking brat.”

            Jin reached out and knocked both of them upside the head. “Language!”

            And you laughed. You laughed without the weight of anxiety or fear weighing you down. For the first time, you felt like you were truly safe.

                                                    ****************************

            The next couple of days went by in a pleasant way, falling into a simple routine that you started to look forward to. One of them would pick you up in the morning, making sure to stop by Holli’s Café for a morning caffeine fix, before taking different ways to the Magic Shop that ensured you were still none-the-wiser as to how to get there. Once there, you would find Yoongi either waiting in the kitchen for you or in the expansive gym where you would start with his rehabilitation exercises after you checked and redressed his wounded shoulder. Now that Yoongi was home, there was a difference from the person at the hospital. He was still quiet but much more open to conversations and approachable. The conversations between the two of you were deep and easy like the ones you had with Amber. And you looked forward to them. There was one time you had made a stupid joke that had made him laugh freely. And that felt like a simple accomplishment that warmed you up. And you couldn’t help but find his laugh adorable. One morning, he brought you to his ‘Genius Lab’. According to the others, it was incredibly rare that he even mentioned his safe haven to outsiders, let alone let them see it. But he had made an exception for you.

            The Genius Lab was more like an office where Yoongi spent a good deal of time juggling between work, reflection, and solitude when the world became too much. The space suited his style; grey walls with dark accents and floors, a sleek black desk with three large monitors and computer equipment. Opposite the desk was a long black leather couch that looked quite comfortable. And the room was completely soundproof. When he had brought you into the Genius Lab, he showed off some of his work. You watched as he pulled up different views of various streets all over Central, some storefronts where he pointed out Bangtan’s hired help stationed out front, and the exteriors of the hospital popped up on the screens. You were very thankful that they were still monitoring your workplace. Yoongi tapped on a few keys and different angles of your apartment appeared across the screens, both outside and inside. He played back your morning; Hobi pulling up in a nondescript black car, him swaying to the music in his earpiece as he rode the elevator up, to letting himself into your apartment and waiting for you with Holli’s coffee in his hand. You remembered Taehyung telling you about the cameras they put in your apartment that first morning. While you thought it would be more invasive, you found comfort in his watchfulness.

            This morning had started as usual; Jin had come to pick you up this time to bring you to the Magic Shop. The only one you hadn’t seen since arriving at the Magic Shop was Jimin. He hadn’t appeared at lunch the first day as you expected. You shrugged it off, remembering that Hobi had mentioned he hadn’t been feeling well. But you still hadn’t seen or heard from him. The drive over to the Magic Shop was as winding and secretive as always. Though they had started going in a different way. From the street, it looked as if he had pulled up to an abandoned auto mechanic gas station in the lower section of town. At the touch of a button on the dashboard, a spray-painted door rolled open to a dark tunnel that ended at the parking level of the Magic Shop. You wanted to question how the construction worked or how it had remained secret but decided against it.

            As you ascended the spiral staircase after Jin, that was where the morning took an unusual turn.

            When you stepped into the large front foyer, you were greeted by the sounds of a struggle. Instinctually, you grabbed ahold of Jin’s arm and hid behind his broad shoulders, causing him to chuckle at the cute action. Coming through the front door was a blindfolded man being dragged in by both arms by Yeonjun and another hired staff member. He was yelling all sorts of vulgarities and kicking out in many directions, like he was throwing a tantrum and not trying to escape.

            “Motherfucker! I told you to stop manhandling me like this! You know who I am? I will mess you up!”

            “Such dramatics,” Jin bemused, “He acts like he hasn’t gone through this before. Yeonjun, did he cause you a lot of trouble?”

            “Sir,” Yeonjun snapped to attention, still keeping his captive held tightly. “He tried to give us the slip. We met him at the appointed time but he tried to run. Even tried to jump out of the car.”

            Jin tsked. “Jackson, so disappointing. I thought we had a better relationship than that.”

            “Jin,” Jackson called out, head snapping in different directions to try and focus on him from behind the blindfold, “buddy, come on. I got the times mixed up and your boy jumped on me. Can we take this stupid blindfold off? I thought we’d be past this.”

            “Jackson, you are like a rash; unwanted, hard to deal with, and annoying.”

            “Damn, that hurt.” Yeonjun shoved Jackson forward, causing the man to stumble freely. He ripped the blindfold off his face and turned back to the younger, fist clenched. “Fucking punk, I’ll wipe that fucking smile off your prepubescent face!”

            “Jackson,” Jin said in a commanding tone that in any other situation would be attractive. Stop it, you mentally screamed. “Refrain from threatening my employee in my home before I let him show you why he’s one of our best. Be a good boy and mind your manners. I’ll go get Namjoon to deal with you. Yeonjun, just make sure he stays here and doesn’t try to slip something into his pocket again. I’ll be right back.” Jackson snorted and rolled his eyes as he straightened himself out. Jin turned around to you, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be back in a moment, Darling. Don’t worry, Jackson is like a tiny dog; he’s all bark and nothing else, and easy to kick.” Jin’s eye flicked up towards the corner of the room with a sharp look before he turned back to you with a smile. That was weird. “Yoongi-ah should be here soon. Just hang tight and introduce yourself if you want to. And if Jackson does anything ungentlemanly, just tell Yeonjun and he’ll make him regret it.”

            Before you could beg to just run upstairs, Jin patted you on the shoulder and disappeared. You had to remember that Bangtan would never leave you in any danger since they were bound to protect you. You remembered hearing Namjoon mention Jackson’s name before and figured they wouldn’t bring someone into their home that was a danger. You looked over to Jackson. The man’s dual toned hair was messy from his struggling. He pulled a pair of sunglasses from his baggy pants pocket and pushed them up onto his head, like a makeshift headband.

            Then, he noticed you. And you felt like you were a mouse caught in a snake’s site. A cool smile smoothed across his lips as he made his way over to you.

            “Well, look at you. I’ve never seen you around here before. What’s a cute, little thing like you doing here? I’m Jackson. You need anything, I’m the one who will know how and where to find it. Individual contractor. Know-it-all extraordinaire. Master of the Silver Tongues.” He offered his hand out for yours.

            “Um, hi, I’m Y/N.” You hesitated to shake his hand.

            “So, what are you? You’re too cute to be related to any of them. You look far too meek to be one of us. And I’d hope you have better taste than to be trying to date one of these losers when someone like me exists. I can tell you, you can do better. I’ve known these guys for a long time. Trust me, they’ve got odd taste that would disagree with such a cute mouse like you.”

            You retracted your hand. Jackson started to circle you, eyeing you up and down. It wasn’t threatening but you kept your eyes on him. Yeonjun gave you a look but you waved him off for the moment. You could handle yourself.

            “I’m a nurse. I’m assisting them after an incident.”

            “Ooh a nurse? What luck, I’m in need of some attention after all that rough housing.” He winked. “Oh, shit, wait, you’re the one that ran into the gun fight? And took out one of the Royal’s guys? I heard he’s still recovering from severe concussion. Mad respect, sweetheart.”

            “How do you know about that?”

            “I make it my business to know things. That’s how I make a living. And why I’m in such demand. Word of what you did has made its rounds through many circuits. Though, I’ll be honest, I’d never be able to put your face to it. And that’s a good thing in this world. Though, if you want to be extra safe from the bad guys, you may want to reconsider who you’re staying with.”

             “What do you mean by that?” You turned to follow his eyes as he kept circling you. “Bangtan seems to be taking good care of me. And I don’t mean anything by this, but I haven’t heard anything about you until now.”

            “Isn’t that the point? I’m good at staying secret, keeping things secret. And they’re so high profile, it would be easy to find you if they slipped up. There are some things that can’t be bought from me. Like a cute, little mouse. And if I wanted to keep someone safe, I’d make sure no one ever found them. Especially, if they are as interesting as you.”

            “I’m interesting?”

            “How could you not be? You’re so innocent, so different from all the other people I’ve ever met. You just want to help, didn’t know what you were running into. And now you’re stuck, hiding from the mean world that is trying to punish your good deed. I mean, I’ve been their friend for years and I can’t say I’d run into a fight with Choi to save someone he’s trying to kill. So yeah, you’re the most interesting person in the world. And I’d love to get to know you better. Maybe you’ll let me take you out sometime to prove I’m a better waste of your time.”

            “And what makes you think I’d be okay with that?”

            “Well, I can give you a hundred reasons to leave these losers behind.” He stopped circling and leaned in so his nose was only a breath away from yours. “But I’m the only one that you need.”

            Unbeknownst to Jackson, Yoongi had appeared at the top of the staircase as Jackson started circling you. He watched the interaction with a scowl on his face. He descended the stairs with a ghostly quiet until he was right behind the rogue. You noticed him as Jackson had stopped to lean towards you and your breath caught in your throat. He looked mad, a fierce protectiveness was present in his dark eyes. He appeared at the right moment. Then, you realized. Yoongi had cameras in the Magic shop, he had mentioned it. And the look Jin had given to the wall that you didn’t understand must have been to one of Yoongi’s cameras that he was watching for when you had arrived as he had done before. They were still watching out for you. He stood so close to Jackson that you wondered how the other hadn’t sensed him yet, his face right next to his shoulder and gaze boring a hole in Jackson’s head. Jackson noticed that you were no longer paying him the attention he wanted and turned his eyes towards the directions yours were on. And he jumped as if he had just been electrocuted, putting some distance between him and the death glare he was receiving. 

            “Fucking hell, you bastard! Put a bell on your fucking neck! Damn, you scared the shit out of me!”

            “Good,” Yoongi said as he kept his eyes trained on Jackson. “Leave her alone, Jackson. She’s got enough problems without you trying to weasel your way into her bed.”

            “You wound me, Suga. I was just introducing myself to the lucky lady who is now one of the most famous women in our field.”

            “I said,” he took a step closer to him, and despite his arm still in a sling, he looked as if he was about to use it on Jackson, “leave her alone.”

            “Wow, back down, tiger. Sheesh, didn’t think you’d be so concerned about someone like her. Don’t you have your hands full already? Or are you just greedy? Or are you guys taking turns?”

            “Jackson!”

            Namjoon’s voice echoed against the walls. You looked up to the second floor where RM was leaning on the banister overlooking the foyer with Jin by his side glaring down at Jackson. RM looked as annoyed as his voice let on. He was all business with no sign of the calm Namjoon you had been seeing around the Magic Shop. With a power that befitted the Leader of Bangtan, he signaled for Suga to stand down and motioned for Jackson to follow him. With a final look and wink from Jackson to you, he flipped Yoongi off and made for the stairs. Suga, silently, watched him go, making mental notes for the future before he reached back and took your hand in his. You jumped, slightly. He hadn’t been physical with you like the others had, holding your hands, giving you a hug or playful shove. There was always a bit of distance, aside from the medical side of things.

            “Come on, Y/N. Let’s get out of here.”

            He had led you upstairs, asking if you were alright. While Jackson was a lot, it wasn’t something you couldn’t have handled. But you thanked him anyways for stepping in. It felt nice to have someone be so protective of you, something you weren’t so used to. He started leading you up towards the direction of the Genius Lab, where he insisted you stay until Jackson was gone, since it was secure and private, instead of the normal spaces you tended to occupy. Thankfully, the physical therapy you needed to do with Yoongi didn’t require much space and you carried all the equipment you needed in your bag. You figured Yoongi was not a fan of Jackson normally, remembering the disdain in his voice when Joon had mentioned him back at the hospital before. You were sure that Jackson’s display back in the foyer only made that worse and he wanted to keep an eye on when he left.

            As you made it to the floor, Yoongi stopped. “I almost forgot. I need to check on something real quick. Can you remember how to get to the Genius Lab?”

            “I think so. Do you need help?”

            “No. I just need to check on Jimin. I won’t be long.”

            “Is he alright? Is he still not feeling well? I can take a look if you need me to. That’s kind of my whole thing.”

            He gave your hand a squeeze as a little chuckle sat in his throat. “No, it’s nothing you need to worry about right now. He’s coming down with something but is putting off taking his medicine as long as he can. He’s being stubborn. Gets it from me, probably. I’m just making sure he’s still in his room resting. I’ll only be a moment. I promise. Here, this is my key to the Lab. Let yourself in and lock it. I use my code on the door. Not that I think Jackson will know where my office is but just to be safe.”

            Some part of you hated when he let go of your hand to head down the other side of the hall. You had to take a few breaths to let your professional masks fall back into place. You wished your emotions would settle. But being around someone as cute and protective had you feeling a certain way. A way which, you reminded yourself, you shouldn’t be feeling. You were hired to help him heal, not to let a crush develop. You really needed to get a grip. Yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling as you made your way down the hall.

            However, after a few steps and turns, you had lied when you thought you could find the Genius Lab on your own. The only places you knew how to get to without much assistance was the kitchen, gym, and the family room. You had only been to the Genuis Lab once and you racked your brain for any distinguishing details that would help you find it again. What picture was near the door? What color was the door? Was the one with frosted glass or was that Taehyung’s art studio? You could just stand still and wait for Yoongi to come back and find you. Or you could text him that you were going to back to the foyer. Or text one of the others for help? Joon was busy with Jackson, and you weren’t sure where Jin went after that. Jimin, of course, was sick and shouldn’t be disturbed. And you wanted Yoongi to focus on Jimin and not you getting lost. You sent a text to Taehyung, hoping he wasn’t too busy to help you with what he was up to in town. You walked further down the hall only to stop and turn around after not recognizing anything.

            Wait, was this the same place you had started? Why must this place be so confusing?

            Your phone buzzed. You looked down at Taehyung’s text.

      TaeTae: I really got to make you a map LOL.

       TaeTae: Do you remember how to find the stairs? Get back there and look for your favorite painting of mine. The G.L is two doors down from that.

       TaeTae: If you can’t find it, I’m sure he’ll find you with the cameras. Sorry, I’m at a meeting right now.

            You could do this. Just find the stairs. Though that was easier said than done now that you had gotten all turned around. You’re sure Taehyung would make a joke out of this if you were ever found. After another turn, you did see a picture that seemed familiar and went down that direction. As you kept walking, you started to hear voices. At least that was a start. Once you found the source, you could orient yourself or ask for help. You followed the voices, and as they got louder, you recognized RM’s tone and regretted your discussion, not wanting to interrupt. That, and you were sure Yoongi didn’t want you near Jackson again so soon. But as you were about to turn back, their conversation caught your attention.

            “Haven’t I been super helpful to ya’ll? Who was the one who gave you that info about the Royals showing up?”

            “You, also, neglected to tell us that Choi was going to be there. And that is how Suga got hurt.”

            “An oversight. That must have changed at the last minute. I can’t be a mind reader.”

            “Even though you market yourself as one?”

            “Ok, true. But you of all people should know that they don’t do what they say. Regardless, I told you about the Ateez pirates. I said they were up to something interesting. You should trust me by now. I got the information. I may be an independent player in this game, but I like you guys. That’s why I keep my ears open for you. And, I haven’t spilled anything of yours.”

            “That’s because I don’t let you get anything worth spilling.”

            “Ouch, you wound me, bro. I thought we were closer than that.”

            Before you could help yourself, you found yourself stopped outside of Namjoon’s office. The door was barely cracked, but enough for you to see a bit inside. Namjoon’s office was much different from Yoongi’s; it was a large room with warm hardwood against velvety walls that declared power, with bookcases lining the grand walls. Thick hard-covered books filled the shelves like an extensive library. Seated at an opulent and ornate desk in a high wing backed chair was RM, his fingers threaded together and pressed against his lips as he peered sharply at Jackson. Jackson sat relaxed in a smaller, less comfortable chair. They were bathed in the crackling light of a roaring fire from the Victorian style fireplace that sat across from them. This was what you expected of a Mafia leader.

            “I don’t appreciate you making my second so upset. He’s supposed to be recovering. Something he wouldn’t have to be doing had you had better information. Maybe I should start going to someone else.”

            Jackson scuffed. “As if anyone could do what I do. Besides, I feel like you would have done it by now if there was anyone else. And if that asshole wasn’t so easily riled up he would be fine. I was just saying ‘hello’ to her. And trying to figure her out. She’s quite a surprise Joon.”

            “We are trying to keep her safe. That includes from you, Jackson. She’s a civilian who got caught up in the worst way. We just got her to relax around us. I’d thank you to not undo what I’ve been working hard to do.”

            “I hear you. Glad you took my advice to just go with it. I told you nothing bad would happen. I mean, what did you just say? ‘She’s a civilian’. I truly doubted she would be any problems.”

            “No thanks to you.” Joon leaned further in his chair, his dragon eyes glowing in the fire light. “I’ve been patient, Jackson. More than I should be given what I am dealing with here. Now, you are going to tell me what I asked you to find out for me before I let Suga do what he wanted to do.”

            “Damn, for someone who said it’s all business, you’re really pushing it here.”

            “Jackson,” you could tell that Namjoon’s patience was wearing thin. What was he so determined to know? Was it something to do with Choi or the Royals?

            “Man, look. I can find information about anyone. With just their name, I can tell you if they had late fees from their elementary school library or how many days their mother spent in the hospital recovering from birth.”   

            “And yet, it has taken you over a week to get back to me. Either you are slipping or you are full of shit.”

            “Or you’re dealing with a ghost.” Jackson reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small notepad. “Everything I found fits on two pages of this little flip pad. Even the most basic civilian fills half of the pages. But this Y/N girl is either that most boring person in the entire world or she’s a ghost.”

            Wait, he was here about you? Namjoon was looking for information about you? You thought you had been very open with them about anything they had asked you. He had asked you to trust him, but he didn’t trust you. He had hired Jackson to dig up anything on you that he could. He was nervous when you had first come to the Magic Shop but you thought you had worked past that. Hadn’t the time they had spent with you beforehand been enough to prove that you meant no harm to them or else why would he ask you to come here? You knew you shouldn’t listen to any of this, but you couldn’t move. You sunk to the ground and leaned against the wall, listening.

            “What are you talking about?”

            Jackson tossed the pad over to him to see for himself. “I mean, this girl has nothing before two years ago. All I could find is that she currently works at Central Mercy as an ER Nurse, she lives in a shitty apartment that’s overpriced for that part of town. Before that, there isn’t much. I found her college she attended for her expedited nursing degree where she got high marks. Her father worked for different police forces as a high up desk jockey, meaning she moved a lot so there isn’t much in regard to early years. But nothing else. Everything starts about two years ago. I was able to find a news article about a car accident that listed her as a passenger, so her amnesia story checks out as far as that. Can’t said I ever heard of someone using amnesia as a cover, but fuck if it wouldn’t be good. Father died and there was no mother listed on any paperwork. Father’s file is just as blank. Just he was basic cop who sat at a desk. After the accident, her only known address was some small studio in her name that was set up by the rehab she was assigned to by some Doctor Sung, who died a year after from a heart attack. Found all his files but it’s nothing interesting. She did some reception job for a clinic before she came here that was a nonprofit for student nurses and that had nothing useful other than what I already had. But that’s all. No ties anywhere, no real records until recently. Either she’s got the most boring, nonspecial life I’ve ever seen, or her life’s been invented by some crazy mastermind. And I’m leaning towards the first one, man. This girl is boring and is nothing in the grand scheme of things. And that’s the truth. The most interesting thing was meeting you guys. She’s harmless. She’s no threat to anyone except maybe herself with that stupid heroic shit. So, you worried for nothing. Your family is safe, just like I said it would be.”

            “How can that be all?” Namjoon seemed disappointed. “You’re telling me that there was no other information? How can someone’s life just go back two years? You must have missed something.”

            “I don’t miss shit. Listen, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but that’s all there is. Her old man must have been from some off the grid town beforehand and didn’t leave footprints. She’s a nobody. She’s barely worth the time I spent looking for her.  So, stop worrying about her like she’s gonna turn into some problem. And if she does, you can kill her easily enough. Hell, there are seven of you, should be easy.”

            You couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped your lips. Namjoon’s eyes snapped towards the door, knowing full well that he had been caught. He rose from the desk and crossed the room, opening the door to find you rooted in place against the wall, eyes cast down with tears welling in the corners. It wasn’t just from the threat of being killed by the people you were supposed to trust, or the harsh words that Jackson had said about you. But it was the fact that you weren’t trusted. You were not granted the same thing he had begged you to do for them. And that hurt just as much.

            “Oh shit,” Jackson said with a hint of glee. “Little mouse likes to sneak around, huh? I can see why you didn’t want to trust her. Seems like she’ll get herself killed before too long.”

            “Jackson,” RM roared causing you to shrink further into yourself and the tears to flow freely. Namjoon looked down at you, instantly regretting his tone. He had messed up and he knew that. Moving carefully, he held his hand out to you in a silent plea to take it. Feeling like there was no other choice, you let him pull you up to your feet and into his office. Daring to look at his face, you didn’t see anger or any dangerous threat that you feared for your eavesdropping. You saw remorse and sympathy. He led you towards the fireplace where there were two large armchairs facing each other with a side table full of half-read books. He motioned you to sit before he turned back to Jackson. He took out his phone and sent a quick message. Within a moment, Yeonjun appeared in the door. “That’s enough, Jackson. Thank you for your help. But I need to talk to Y/N. Yeonjun will take you back where he found you. You know the drill.”

            “Wow, fastest visit ever. Am I at least getting paid?” Namjoon shot him a look that made him jump and scurry over to the door. “Don’t look so sad, sweetheart. I’m sure he isn’t going to kill you. Let me know if you want to take me up on my offer.”

            Yeonjun grabbed Jackson by the collar and dragged him out, shutting the door behind him, leaving you alone with Namjoon and the crackling fire. You thought back to when he had saved you when Choi had you cornered in the hospital hall, how good natured he had been with you, how he had been so open with you before he even knew anything more about you. He had been the one pushing for you to trust them and be comfortable with them. He had wanted you to come to the Magic Shop, was planning on telling you before he got busy. But was it all a ruse to get you to follow along? A handkerchief was pushed into your hands and Joon took a seat in the opposite armchair.

            “Y/N, I’m sorry you heard that.” He was sorry? Was he going to reprimand you for eavesdropping? Or tell you that all this was a farce that he was going to drop and forget this life debt he kept pushing? “I was hoping to have talked to him before you ever got here. Just for some extra assurance before we moved forward. I didn’t want you to ever hear that. Jackson can say things harsher than he means. I asked him to do a more detailed background check than I had already done, just to ensure I had all the facts.” He flinched when your breath hitch as more tears fell. He started to reach out his hand to try and comfort you but thought better of it. “I promise, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just needed to be completely sure that we were all going to be safe.”

            “I wouldn’t have hurt any of you. I can barely handle myself, let alone do anything to you all,” you cried. “Why would I put myself in this situation? I tried to get away from all of this but you kept me here. I would have told you all of that stuff. It’s all I know about myself since the accident. I have nothing to hide from anyone. I promise I have only told you the truth.”

            “I know you have. I’m sure you would have told me everything freely. I fucked up. I can’t say I’m sorry enough.”

            “Was he right? Are you going to kill me? Because I seem like a made-up person? Because I don’t have a past?”

            “No!” Namjoon rose from his seat and knelt down in front of you, finding your eyes and begging for your attention. “I would never do that. I promised to protect you. And I would do that whether you owed us a life debt or not. This life I’ve been living for the past twelve years has made me question so much about people. I’ve been lied to so many times that it fucks up your mind. Bangtan is my family and it’s my responsibility to protect them. When I met you, I instantly felt like I could trust you. I could see that you were a good person. But we had been fooled by someone we thought we could instantly trust before and I got nervous. But the more we spent with you, I knew it was different. But there was this little part of me that still worried. So, I looked into you after that first day. That’s why I introduced us as Bangtan to you. The others agreed because they saw what I saw in you. We've all been jaded by this life but something in you broke through all of our hesitations. We all think you are a good person and that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt us. Once we got you to see what we really were, I thought this would be easier on all fronts.”

            “You asked me to trust you but you couldn’t do the same for me?”

            “I know. It’s been so long since I could really trust someone. Look at Jackson. Okay, bad example. But I’ve known Jackson almost as long as I’ve known the others. But I still need to keep him at arm’s length or watch what I say around him. It’s different with you. I want to trust you, I do. I just needed to be extra sure that I was doing the right thing. I truly mean that.”

            You sat in silence for a long while as your breath evened out and your tears ceased. You could understand his hesitation. How could he be sure that you weren’t lying? It made sense, but hearing Jackson’s words, imagining that’s how they saw you, it was hard. But you had been so back and forth with their trust, too.

            “I really wish we could just start over.”

 “What do you want to know?” You took a deep breath and leaned back into the armchair. “What else do you need to hear? You want to be sure? Ask away. I only know so much. You guys have asked me to trust you and you told me things that would be helpful. I will try to do the same so we can share a common ground. Maybe one day I’ll know more and I can tell you more. But I can tell you what I can.”

            “It’s fine, Y/N. You don’t need to do that. I trust you.” He stood up and moved towards his desk. But you grabbed his hand, steeling yourself to open up as much as you could. He could sense your determination and returned to the armchair. “Just tell me whatever you’re comfortable with.”

            “I never really talk about this. It’s hard to talk about. But I can confirm that what Jackson said was all true. It’s actually pretty much all I know for myself. My first actual memory is waking up in a small hospital room in so much pain. There was a man sitting next to me that I didn’t remember. He was my friend, he showed me pictures of us at school. His name was Daniel. I don’t know his last name, I never asked or remembered it. He’s the one who told me about the accident. My father’s car was hit from the side and flipped. He didn’t make it. Daniel spent weeks by my side as I recovered. Dr. Sung was this older doctor who watched over me and helped me recover. Once I was moved to his rehab, Dr. Sung prescribed me all these different treatments but my memories never came back. Daniel brought me my old schoolwork, my old journals, anything that could help me find myself. But there wasn’t much. Jackson said something about us moving a lot. After a year, I could recall little things about places I believe I lived. But there was never anything concrete. No friends or family reached out. Daniel told me that it was just me and dad. He had never heard us talk about anyone else. I guess we didn’t stay long in places. After I was released from the rehab, Daniel and I moved into this small apartment that was far away from everything. The rehab set it up to help me adjust to the world. But I was like a zombie, depressed, broken. After six months, I started trying to get better, start over. Daniel and I started dating, I found a job that was walking distance from my place. All my medical training came back over time. Just not anything else. And that was my life for almost two years. But, almost five months ago, Daniel and I split up and I came to Central to get away from all the unpleasantness. I’d prefer not to go into that if that’s alright. We weren’t good together anymore. Since I’ve been away, I’ve started remembering little flashes of things that don’t make a lot of sense. Amber thinks it’s because I’m away from the trauma. I don’t even know if I want to remember anymore. But if I remember anything more, I promise I’ll tell you once I figure it all out.”

            Namjoon reached out and took your hand. “It’s okay. Thank you for sharing that with me. I promise to be more upfront about any questions I have. I trust you.”

            “I trust you, too.”

[elphiej]

Oh my God!!? Hiii! 😄 I can't believe we are still getting an update for this wonderful story 🥹 I hope you have been doing well and everything's good with you <3 Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for not giving up and I can't wait to read what you have in store for us 🥹

Not me crying at work🥲. Since my last update, ive had some issues with family health, depression, and just going day to day. Which would explain my disassociativness with time. But through out all of it, i was always still thinking of this story and where it was going. Im happy you arw still with me. Feel free to always ask me whats going on or how far im at. Sometimes that helps kick me back into gear. I just have to tweak some grammar so it should be up tonightbor tomorrow, depending on my work today

[elphiej]

NEW CHAPTER UPDATE!!

How in the actual hell has it been almost a year since i posted a chapter?! I could have sworn it had only been a few months! I cant even described how devastated i was when i saw the date. I CAN'T APOLOGIZE ENOUGH. I know there are people on here that like to remind me that this is just for fun and im under no obligation to post in any set time but ive been on the otherside wondering if the author is still there. If anyone is still with me, i am posting a new chapter soon. For any new readers, know that i am never giving up on this fiction. Im a little slow but i try to make it worth the wait. Please feel free to send me a note, ask for updates on the progress, or just send friendly encouragements. See you soon for the Next chapter.

[elphiej]

hi! i hope you're still here🥺

Hi im still here!

[elphiej]

So I’m kinda confused joon and jk aren’t in a relationship right because hwasa was all oh him in that one chapter…are they all just like fwbs??

Hey anon. Sorry if there is any confusion. I promise a lot of this gets explained. But i can explain without spoiling too much more than my tags in Ao3 did. So, all of Bangtan are in a poly relationship and have been for some time. Our main character doesnt know this or picked up on the 'oh so subtle' hints that audience has. Bangtan hasnt revealed that to her because at this point it isnt really necessary and it may be a bit much for someone who isnt ok with the gang side of their life. As for Hwasa, Joon has already said they werent together, though our main character believes what she sees. In truth, they had been something at some point in the past. That will be explained later i promise. But i can honestly say shes a flirt who likes to mess with him. Hope that clears up some confusion. I promise its going to make sense soon. All will come to light

[elphiej]

be my light is the best mafia au that I've ever read! it's mysterious but also sweet and warm! I'm so excited for the new chapters! 💖

OH my gosh, that is so sweet!! Im gonna cry. After such an absence, it really means alot. Never when i started planning this did i ever think it was get such praise. I am so grateful!! I will do my very best to maintain such an honor! *virtual hug for you*

[elphiej]

Be My Light - Chapter 9: Welcome to The Magic Shop

*Genre: Mafia, Angst, Slow burn, eventual smut

*Warnings: Mentions of violence, abuse, and torture

Authors Note: I have risen from the darkness!!! To any of the readers who are in my tag list that are still interested, thank you so much. I completely understand with the inconsistancy but I promise to try better. Like I said in the alert, I really wanted to get this out before Jin’s enlistment, then Hobi’s and Yoongi’s birthday. But I was finally able to finish it before my own birthday. I’m so excited that it’s finished and I am so proud of how it came out. I do hope any who read this will enjoy it and be patient for the next. There is so much happening soon. If anyone is going to be going to the Chicago concert, I’ll be there and would love to say hello! Stream D-Day all, it’s giving me some new inspirations. I love and appreciate everyone. Please feel free to drop a comment, like, or anything. 

Tag list: @lolalalooo, @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine,  @mrsfortune1306, @lovesick-heart0, @iamnamjoonsbxtch, @deathkat657, @deeepvibes, @sugamonster22, @weiinihao, @hemmofluke, @rainbow-zebra-unicorns, @joyfullyobsessed-blog, @elvencantation, @thefreddieman, @whateveritis616, @crewzie-chan, @wyomingphantom, @killbillv1, @kyrah-williams, @utterlynuts, @ot7jellostan, @zahraaelamira, @shesaysweirdthings, @toriluvsfics, @emu007, @zae007live​

                                     Chapter 9: Welcome To The Magic Shop

          Jungkook loved the smell of the sea. It reminded him of his life before Bangtan. If he closed his eyes, he could see the sandy beach that was just outside his hometown that his family would visit every summer. He could almost feel the warm sand under his feet, the cool splash of the water, the sounds of his parents laughing and calling out to him. But when he opened his eyes, there was no sandy beach, and his parents were so far away. What he was looking at was the dark, murkiness of North Central Harbor, still and quiet in the dead of the night.

           Surveillance was not Jungkook’s favorite job; it left him too much time alone with his thoughts. He preferred to be as active as possible, surrounded by his teammates. But ever since the disastrous exchange with Choi and his band of idiots, RM had been giving him easy jobs until Jin cleared him of his injuries. He loved his hyungs more than he could explain, but they were smothering him more than usual. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the extra attention, like Jin feeding him his favorite foods, lounging against Jimin while Taehyung played with him, or even curling up next to one of his hyungs in their room. And there, he’d be met with slow backrubs, feather-light fingertips brushing against his skin, being babied and worshipped in all the best ways. But he wasn’t allowed to do any fun vigorous activities or be on protection duty because they were worried that he’d hurt himself more. And with Choi rearing his ugly mug again, Bangtan had been treating him like that little boy who had they had just rescued from the Royals ‘recruitment’ van, like he was too pure and delicate to help. Like they were scared he’d get hurt or taken again. He wasn’t that nervous fifteen-year-old who was unprepared anymore. He was an experienced, highly trained fighter who was more than willing to do whatever it takes to get things done. He was missing the rough side of their love. And maybe when he got home, he’d use those skills to pin his hyung down and show them that he was tired of the gentle caress and slow, over-thought movement.

           But for now, here he was, alone, watching ships unload things that didn’t mean anything to him. He had been stationed at the docks for three days since Namjoon got word from Jackson that something of interest was coming in. But in true Jackson style, he never gave more details as to what or when. Only that it was very interesting. The harbor had its normal ships coming and going that had no affiliation to be seen. Jungkook had been able to hack into the harbors scheduling system and downloaded the documents of incoming and outgoing details. But none seemed worth their interest. The only thing that the young man thought Jackson could have found interesting was the ship that had docked itself just outside the harbor. Jungkook had recognized its flag instantly. While the majority of gangs and Mafia families were spread throughout the districts, a few had chosen to go the route of modern piracy. Under the signa of a red compass, the Ateez crew had made a formative name for themselves. Bangtan had had a few tussles with them in the past, but Jungkook wouldn’t classify them as enemies. As far as he was concerned, the pirates weren’t affiliated with anyone but themselves. They were only out for their own interest by stealing, selling, or trading whatever their community needed.

           For the past three days, Ateez’s black ship lay still on the outskirts of the harbor, with the members shuttling over on smaller vessels. From what Jungkook had seen, they weren’t doing too much more than shore leave. But why wouldn’t they bring the ship closer? This couldn’t have been what Jackson was talking about. It wasn’t interesting. The maknae was so bored of watching the pirates go to and from the town, chatting on what dive bar they wanted to go see. They hadn’t come to shore since the previous evening. And he would have gone insane with boredom had it not been for Jimin and Taehyung keeping him up to date on all that was happening at the hospital. Taehyung had informed him of what all had happened between you and Yoongi and how upset you had been. And while his elder hyung’s behavior didn’t surprise him, he was disappointed that he had hurt you. Jungkook couldn’t really explain it, but he enjoyed being around you, even if he had spent the least amount of time with you since that first night. He found you to be quite genuine and nice; someone he wanted to be friends with. And it had been some time since he felt so comfortable with someone that quickly since he had first met Namjoon. Hell, he had known Jackson for years and still didn’t fully trust that he wouldn’t send his hyungs on a wild goose chase.

           Jungkook had seen that Taehyung had added you to the group chat before he was given his assignment. But you weren’t very active in it, making simple or one-word responses to anything directed at you and nothing else. Jungkook thought about sending you a private text after he had heard what happened. But he wasn’t sure if he should. You weren’t responding to Jin or Taehyung when they had messaged you over the last few days, according to them, so why would he be any different? And what was he supposed to say? ‘Hey, how are you? My hyung can be a dick but don’t take it personally. I’m bored. Let’s talk.’ Yeah, that would go over well. Sometimes, he wished he was better at words. He hadn’t even been responding to the players on the online forum he was a part of who were wondering why he hadn’t been active in so long. His favorite opponent, ElectricLlama, had been sending quite a few over the last few hours. But he couldn’t very well tell them that he was currently on a stakeout and didn’t bring his gaming laptop. God, he was so bored.

           It was after 2:00AM when something started to happen.

           The Ateez boys hadn’t left the ship the whole day. Jungkook brought his attention away from a text from Hobi when the sound of engines firing up broke the silence of the night. While pirates never stayed in one place too long, something seemed off. The ship moved from open seas into an empty spot in the harbor. The crew had secured the ship in record time and started to unload some cargo. While this seemed normal, what they were unloading, and the twitchy way the crew kept looking around, was intriguing. It was no secret that the local dock workers were easily bought to unload the cargo and fake documents so they could easily blend into the rest of the ships. Of course, it wasn’t difficult since Ateez was known for bringing in high-end clothes and merchandise that most of these dock workers could only dream of having. But what they were unloading on their own was not high end; there were boxes of cheap cellphone accessories, anti-smoking products, and a few other random bits that just seemed odd for Ateez to have. It still wasn’t farfetched that Jackson may have been messing with them. Maybe they were just contracted to get random stuff for a high price?

           Then, a familiar black car rolled up that made Jungkook swallow his past criticism of Jackson. Yao stepped out of the car first, still bruised from their previous encounter. The Suit surveyed the work before moving to the back of the car. Choi stepped out, looking clean and pressed as always. And he was followed by another. The newcomer has their head down and hood up so Jungkook couldn’t get a good look at them even after he had moved closer to the scene. If he had to guess, it must be a new client of the Royals, or a new gang leader coming to partner with them. Or worse.

           Hongjoong, Ateez’s leader and captain, hopped down from the ship and came to greet them. The mullet-haired leader ushered the two towards the stacked boxes and opened one to be inspected. Jungkook had been taking pictures the entire time to send to Namjoon. He zoomed his camera in to see that the products in the box were indeed what was written on it and not some clever way to hide weapons. Choi turned towards the hooded one and received a nod of approval, before snapping their painted fingers. Yao responded to the newcomer’s signal and presented Hongjoong with a briefcase. Who ever this hooded one was, they had enough power to wordlessly order the Suits around. Once the pirate took the briefcase and bowed to them, Choi called out for his men to back a truck up and load the goods. And as quick as the transaction was, the Suits were packed and gone. Jungkook made sure to get clear pictures of the truck’s tags, the people moving them, and the boxes, and sent them to RM.

           So, he thought, Ateez is working with the Royals now? They must have been promised something big. But what would Choi want with such trash. And who was that with him?

           He didn’t have long to linger on that as RM sent back a quick response.

           Rapmon-Hyung: Great work, Bun. We’ll need to go over this with the others. Now get out there. You did very good.

           Me: good enough for a reward?

            Jungkook smiled at the text, knowing Namjoon would pick up what he was asking for. And if he said no, the maknae was not above going full brat-mode. He knew his hyungs well enough.

           Rapmon-Hyung: Well, you have been stuck out there for some time and been so good. What does my Bun want?

           Me: hard and rough? I don’t hurt anymore, and I miss you. The others don’t play like you do. They’ve been too gentle. Barely a make out session

           Rapmon-Hyung: Such a naughty bunny. I didn’t hear you complaining a few nights ago. And here I thought you like all that attention.  

           Me: But not like that all the time! I’ve rested long enough and been so good

           Rapmon-Hyung: We can talk to Jinie when you get back and see if he will give you the all clear. You’re not getting me into trouble with him.

           Me: I won’t tell him. I can be quiet. AND I promise not to bite too hard to leave a mark

           Rapmon-Hyung: Now we both know that is a lie. You can’t help it. I’ll ask later.

           Me: please Sir! I need you!

           That should do it. Jungkook knew exactly what to say to rile his hyungs up, knew each little thing that would affect them. He prayed Namjoon would just give in and not shut him down. Calling Namjoon ‘Sir’, even in text, always made his leader melt. Of course, if Joon drew the line, Jungkook wouldn’t push for fear of disappointment or even punishment. And not the fun kind. But if Namjoon said no, maybe he would switch his attention to Hobi or even Jimin. Sometimes it was easier to guilt and toy with them into giving him whatever he wanted. And Joon hadn’t responded as quickly as he had before. Jungkook was worried he was going to say no. Maybe he should have taken a less direct path, maybe wait until he was in person and tease until Namjoon lost control. Or a different tactic in general. Then his phone buzzed.

           Rapmon-Hyung: Meet me in my study and we’ll discuss what my needy Bun wants. And if he asks me nicely, I may just go against hyung’s orders and give him what he deserves.

           Jungkook could already feel his body reacting to that promise, practically hearing Joon’s husky response. To say he was excited was an understatement; if he wasn’t in public, and possible danger, he would have jumped up and danced in pure joyful ecstasy. It had been such while since he had been with his leader like that. The last time he shared a bed with Namjoon was a few days before he had been sent out with the others to the construction site. And even then, it had just been him curled up against his hyung reading a comic book while the other read his favorite psychology book. No sex, just being in each other’s presence until they feel asleep: it was nice and domestic, nothing more. But after all that had happened, paired with the heavy make out sessions and light touching that went nowhere fast that the others did under strict instructions of their resident medical professional hyung, one couldn’t blame Jungkook for being over stimulated and frustrated. And he was to meet up with Joon in his study? It wouldn’t be the first time they had gotten carried away. He could practically feel the surface of Namjoon’s desk against his back.

           Jungkook shook his head and took a deep breath, trying to clear his head of all the images a single thought spurred. He still needed to get himself to his motorcycle and get back to the Magic Shop. And he knew from experience that trying to drive it while hard was not a pleasant experience. He forced himself to think on the fact that he was going home, back to his own normalcy, and away from this dark, cold dock. He slid his phone into the back pocket of his black jeans and zipped up his leather jacket. His surveillance bag lay at his feet, carefully packed and ready to return home. He reached into the front pocket of the bag for his bike keys. Yoongi-hyung and Jimin-hyung had bought it for him as a birthday present, remarking how it fit his adventurous attitude. Jungkook had hidden it well amongst the covered equipment not too far from where he was stationed. He just needed to sneak back to it. Brown eyes moved back to the pirates, still milling about the dock. But thankfully, they were not paying any attention in his direction, too busy congratulating themselves and gathered around to look at the prize they had just received. It should be easy to get away. He slung his bag over his shoulder and turned away from the interesting, yet depressing site.

           Only to come face to face with one of Ateez’s high-ranking members, Seonghwa Jungkook remembered his name to be, who glared down at his with sharp eyes. And perched on top of upper railing like a cat ready to pounce, was the pirates’ most unpredictable fighter, San. Jungkook had gone up against San before, years ago when Ateez and Bangtan got caught up in a mild misunderstanding on territories. And from what he could remember, San’s was tough back then. He could only imagine how he had changed over the years. But Jungkook had been training too and he would love to see how they compared now. However, fighting was not on the agenda. RM had made that perfectly clear that he was only to observe, not cause trouble. However, if they started it, he was allowed to defend himself.

           “Well, well, look what we found here, San. A small, Bangtan rat hiding amongst the trash where he belongs,” Seonghwa said, stepping up to be nose to nose with Jungkook.

           “You’re a long way from home, little boy,” San sneered down. Jungkook almost laughed, seeing as he was two years older than the pirate.

           “To what do we owe the snooping? One would think you’d have enough decency to come make yourself known, like the gentleman you and yours always say you are.”

           “Yeah,” San agreed with his hyung, hanging further over the railing, “what are you doing hiding like a common rat? You’re lucky we didn’t shoot onsite. We sometimes do that on the ship when we get bored.”

           “And what a political nightmare that would have been for you,” Jungkook countered, shooting the cocky pirate a stunning look. “The docks are not under any territory. They are neutral grounds. Which means, you half-drowned idiot, I can be here for no other reason than I want to be. One might wonder what you’re doing here?”

         “Seems like you answered your own question,” Seonghwa retorted. “We are allowed to be here if we want too. Just here on holiday. Seas been kinda rough.”

           “Seems like more than that from where I was sitting.”

           “Ah, so you were spying on us. What would the other clans think about that?”

           “Nothing in the code says I can’t if I happen to already be in the area. I’m not blind, nor am I dumb. I was told there was something interesting and I came to investigate. And I found you lot and the Royals. You know how most of the Mafia families feel about that. Especially after what Choi tried to pull on our last meeting on Hallow Ground.”

           “Yeah, we heard about that. Shame,” yet Seonghwa’s voice sounded less than sincere. “And who said there was anything happening? We just had a business transaction. Nothing more. We have nothing to hide.”

           “Is that so? Then who was that with Choi?”

           “An old friend, I assume. My job wasn’t to question who I was meeting. If you were so interested, you should have come say hello. I’m sure they would have loved to have seen you face to face. The only thing I know about them, is there is something stirring up in the ranks.”

“Then as a business man, information can be bought. We can set aside our past for a price.”

“You’re money is worth less than you think. We wouldn’t stoop so low,” San snarled.

“But we will share this little secret with you for free.” Seonghwa retrieved a box of matches from his coat pocket. He slipped one out and struck it against his jacket, flame igniting with expert practice. Only to be blown out immediately, the smoke dancing around Jungkook in a telling way. “Misfortune is in your future. There’s a change in the air, whispers amongst some of the families, a change in perspective. Some of them are not too happy with how things are anymore. Not happy with how your little group has shifted the playing field. They say Bangtan’s all talk and lies. They’re starting to think that all that talk of what you did all those years ago with the Royals is all bullshit and that you paid for your allies to collaborate with your story. Especially with some new information being spread in the shadows. So, you best prepare yourselves. The tides are about to change and you better hope that you and yours don’t drown. Wait, doesn’t one of yours already have experience with that?”

Jungkook’s anger surged before he could control it, snarling as he pushed up against the smirking pirate. His fists were shaking as he restrained himself from breaking Seonghwa’s jaw.

“Watch it, tiger,” Seonghwa tsked in a condescending tone. “Looks like we struck a painful nerve. Tell me, cause we’re all a little curious. What’s hurts more to remember: seeing him under the water or hearing him scream after you guys revived him?”

“You better shut your fucking mouth,” Jungkook growled, teeth grinding as he tried to keep it together.

“Or what? You wouldn’t want to start a feud with us. How would that look to the masses you’re trying to keep on your side?”

“Oh, believe me, I won’t throw the first punch. But I’ll finish it.” Jungkook had promised RM that he wouldn’t start anything if he was discovered and act as diplomatic as possible. But the maknae was sure his leader would understand if he knew what the pirate had said. None of them would let that slide so easily. He knew the pirate was just trying to get a rise out of him to use against him. Though, anyone who knew the whole story would most likely understand. “You’ve heard what we’ve done to people who try and fuck with us. Hell, you’ve seen what we did back then. I can assure you, we’ve only gotten better. And we don’t need to pay anyone off. They know what we did back then. And we can do it again. So, don’t try me.”

“Well,” Seonghwa said, stepping back from the enraged boy, “from what our new friend can attest, you don’t know what you’re talking about. But who am I to ruin the surprise. Just remember the bigger they are, the heavier the smoke they’ll leave behind when all those lies go up in flames. You keep feeding into those stories your hyungs keep sowing. Meanwhile, we’ll do what we do best and ally ourselves with whomever can get us the farthest. Until we don’t need them anymore. Now, how about you run along home? I’m sure the Mad Leader will be wondering where his little toy is.”

“You wait, Seonghwa. Choi may be able to spin a web of lies that sound better than the truth. But once he gets what he needs, he’ll turn on you and wipe out your whole crew. He learned from Ji how to use people until they break. Then, he’ll move on to the next. Now that Ji’s gone, he’ll just keep the toxic cycle going.”

“Speaking of going,” San drew his fingers to his mouth and let out a loud whistle that cut through the silence of the dock, alerting his crew in a practiced cue. Instantly, everything behind Jungkook stopped and he could feel more than a dozen pairs of eyes on him. They didn’t move, waiting for the next signal to pounce. Jungkook knew it was just a scare tactic; he would have been attacked up by now if that was the plan. And while he was certain he could take a few of them down, he needed to be smart. He had enough information for Namjoon to work with, and still promised he wouldn’t cause any trouble.

With a mask of unbothered ease, Jungkook waved off the pirates, grabbed his bag from his feet, and made his way away from the docks. The two only watched after him until he rounded the corner, then he could hear them laughing as they returned ship side. The sound rubbed the maknae the wrong away. How he wanted to wipe that grin off of Seonghwa’s face, especially after what he said. But there were more pressing matters. Jungkook stopped in front of his motorcycle, hiding amongst the cargo. He pulled it out and mounted up, bringing it roaring to life. It was time to get home and let Namjoon know what he just found. As he tore out onto the road, on a confusing route to throw off anyone who may have been trying to follow him to the Magic Shop, he replayed the interaction over in his head. Ateez had always been neutral, no matter who they fought against. Even when they had gone against Bangtan, the pirates made no sign that they held any ill will against them. There were so many neutrals who maintained their stance to only work for the good of their people. But it would seem like Choi and whoever the shorter person was had been able to manipulate Ateez into believing something that turned their allegiance. He could only hope that whatever Choi was doing wouldn’t spread to other gangs. Jungkook hoped Namjoon could make sense of it. He just had to believe.

                                     ***********************

 “I can’t believe you wrestled me away from the cashier just so you could pay for me,” you hissed at J-Hope with no real venom attached, trying not to smile at the situation. “I don’t think I can ever show my face at Holli’s Café again.”

J-Hope laughed at you as the two of you made your way out of the hospital elevator towards Yoongi’s room. He took a sip from his coffee as he bumped his hip against yours. “No, I can’t believe that you still won’t let us pay for you. It’s been two weeks now.”

“Okay, well,” you countered, trying to continue this game, “I can’t believe that you won’t let me use the money that you pay me. I’m pretty much caught up on my rent. I would love to actually enjoy it.”

“Well,” J-Hope said, “I can’t believe you don’t realize how much money we actually have. And how nice it is for us to spoil someone that’s not us. And there are more of our drinks here than yours,” to emphasis his point, he lifted the drink carrier in his left hand. “So, it only made sense to pay for it. And, if you had just let me pay when I first said, I wouldn’t have to lift you up and spin you away. So there.”

You sighed. “I can’t even win a word game with you. You guys have paid for everything: my food, my tea, this coat. One of these days, I’d like to use my pay.”

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. Those eyes may work on Jimin, but I have three boys at home who use those same eyes on me when they want something. I’m not falling for it. Don’t fret so much. Most girls love to be pampered. I mean, didn’t your old boyfriend ever pamper you?”

You paused just outside the door. You hadn’t mentioned anything to them about the past you could remember, let alone your miserable excuse of an ex. And why should you have? That wasn’t professional or necessary, no matter how friendly you had gotten. Thinking back to when you could remember, Daniel had been nice at one point to you but still never did anything like what they were doing. Sure, he bought things, but they weren’t specifically to be sweet once you actually looked at it. He bought you flowers once. But that was after he had said some nasty things to you. You couldn’t consider that? But hadn’t he taken care of you when you were recovering from the accident? Did that count? You weren’t even sure anymore. Surely your father had before the accident. But it was all a blank. But Amber must count, right? She had given you a place to stay, consistency, a friend. She bought you coffee sometimes but would let you pay, too. Or was that what she did because she knew your background or was it because she knew you needed it? It felt different.

“I don’t know,” you answered, slowly, as you felt his gaze on you. It was a calculating gaze that made you wonder what he gathered from your silence and expression. Taehyung was the same way on the first day. “I wish I could remember from before. I must have. But I can’t really say that I have. And I’d rather not think about my ex if you don’t mind. I’ll just say this whole having people be like this is a new experience for me. It’s a little weird. I feel a little bad excepting all of it sometimes. I know you all keep saying its nothing, but all these things must add up. I don’t want to cause any trouble. Sometimes, I feel like I’m just taking and taking like some parasite.”

“Oh, that’s not true. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up some harsh memories. I forgot about the…um.. condition. But honest, we like taking care of things. It’s like our love language. And after all you’ve done for us, we want to say thank you. We’re so used to each other just taking it that I guess we forget that it can be overwhelming. I’m sorry if we made you feel that way. But it really doesn’t bother us. Trust me. I forget that this can be a bit much to people who never had someone do these things. Back when we first got together, we barely had enough money to afford a one-bedroom studio and food. We struggled a lot in the beginning. I remember when we first got Jungkookie, it was around his birthday. So we scrimped and saved to buy him some graphic novel he had been looking at. He was so sad when we gave it to him because he thought we starved ourselves. But we wanted to make him happy. Even now, buying gifts for each other is more about what’s behind it than the gift itself. And it’s not like we go around buying diamonds and oil rigs every day. We are smart with our income. We invest and save. Hell, we donate to charities all the time. Anonymously of course. So, we don’t mind. But we can try to be more considerate of your feelings.”

“Does that mean you’ll let me buy lunch today?”

“No, but not for the reason you think.”

As he gave you a reassuring smile, you couldn’t help but think about what he said. Who had heard of a Mafia lord donating to charities or being so thoughtful about their gifting. There wasn’t much information about Bangtan’s beginning that you could find through the internet or newspapers. Did they really struggle? Was turning to drugs the only way they could survive? But they seemed so wholesome when they were with you.

You swung open the door to Yoongi’s room and were caught off guard by what you saw. There was a strong smell of chemicals erupting from the room. And Taehyung was snapping off a pair of used gloves, covered in something orange. Next to him on the table were a few bottles, gels, a mixing bowl, and an application brush. Yoongi sat on the bed, a towel draped over his head. The younger smiled at you as he rubbed the towel across his hyung’s hair.

“Hobi-hyung, Y/N, what do you think of my masterpiece?”

With a flourish, he yanked the towel away. Yoongi groaned, clearly over Tae’s dramatics, as he tried to smooth down his damp hair in a more pleasing way. His platinum blond hair was now a ginger color. Once it dried, you were sure it would look very natural against his pale skin. You tried not to stare but he didn’t make it easy on you looking the way he did. He had, also, changed into more normal clothes: a pair of jeans and a white sweater. His sling was on, meaning he and Taehyung must have done it after the shower Yoongi must have taken, judging by the residual steam coming from the adjacent bathroom. Doctor Na must had been by before you got there and removed the IV from his arm. You supposed the doctor deemed it unnecessary since Yoongi was healing quite well.

“Oh, my goodness, Hyung looks so cute! He reminds me of that tabby cat that hangs around the Magic Shop,” J-Hope all but gushed, running over to inspect Yoongi’s hair closer.

Yoongi reached down for a handheld mirror that was laying on the bed. “You couldn’t have made it black like I asked for?”

“We’re out of it. And with all the missions Namjoon-hyung’s been sending me on the last few days, I haven’t really had the time to order some more. So, I had to work with what I still had in supply. Luckily, I had some of this red left over from when I did Hobi-hyung’s.” Taehyung placed his hand on Yoongi’s forehead and tipped it back so he could stare down into the elder’s eyes. “Be thankful. I could have gone with the pink that I have from dying Jin’s hair.”

J-Hope gasped. “He would look so cute in that too. He looks good in any color. But with his pale skin and pink hair, he would have been our resident cotton candy! So sweet and tempting.” You were sure had Hobi been on Yoongi’s other side, he would have been hit with more than just a glare.

“Very tempting,” Taehyung said, “but I think the red suits you more. You definitely have the temper to match it. Besides, you always go black or brown. I think this makes you look so sexy. The guys are going to love it. And I needed something unexpected yet natural enough not to draw attention.”

Yoongi grumbled something that you couldn’t hear. But Taehyung laughed and released his hyung while he looked for something in his bag. His dark eyes fell on you and a tinge of color erupted in his cheeks when he caught you staring.

“What do you think, Y/N?”

You snapped out of it. “I think it looks nice on you. Very suiting.”

“She definitely means sexy,” Taehyung teased as he returned to his work, combing his hyung’s hair. Now both of your faces were turning red.  

You cleared your throat, trying to hide your embarrassment. “So, were you a hairdresser before or just got bored and he couldn’t escape?”

“Hardly,” Taehyung laughed. “Just a street artist looking at a different canvas.”

“Taehyung always helps us when we want to change our look. He’s got an eye for it. Besides, we can’t keep the same look for long. The enemy would have an easy time finding us if we kept our hair the same for more than a couple months. Choi’s men will be looking for a platinum blond when we leave. This will help us blend in. They haven’t seen me since my color faded. And Tae can hide his under a beanie. It’s all pretty simple.” J-Hope handed Yoongi his Americano and Taehyung a hot chocolate before hopping up from the bed and picking up some items from the room.

You reached for the charts and looked through everything to get you prepared for the day, not that you weren’t already in a routine; morning medication with something to eat, followed by some physical therapy with Yoongi’s shoulder, then some down time before lunch and more medicine. Maybe you could convince Yoongi to get out of this room and go for a walk around the hospital again. He was already dressed in warmer clothes; perhaps he was looking forward to it. You left the room for a moment to grab the medication from the counter. What was odd was there were very full bottles waiting for you. Normally these were for when the patient was going home. But you hadn’t heard of Yoongi being discharged. It wasn’t in his file. You supposed it was a mistake, or it was just to be readily available for when he did eventually leave, and your contract was over. You took up the medication bottles and shoved them into the pockets of your jeans. Since the guys had insisted that you could be more relaxed in your dress code, you had dressed for the cold and donned a pair of warm black jeans, a grey thermal shirt, and the purple coat Yoongi had given you. You always had a pair of extra scrubs to change into if needed hidden in your backpack.

“Alright,” you said as you reentered the room and handed Yoongi his medicine for the morning, “after we get some food in you, how about we work on some new exercises for your shoulder? You seemed like you may be up for it yesterday. Then perhaps a nice stroll around the hospital wings again?”

You were met with a deafening silence and three sets of confused eyes that stared back at you. The three exchanged glances with each other, communicating with raised eyebrows and head tilts that meant nothing to you. But with years of practice, they seemed to understand.  

“What,” you questioned. “We don’t have to do that if you don’t want. I was just suggesting…”

“Did Namjoon speak to you,” Hobi asked.

“No,” you said, warily. “I haven’t spoken to Namjoon since the first day. Why? Did I miss something?”

Yoongi ignored your question and looked between the other two. “Didn’t Namjoon say he was going to explain everything a few days ago? Or was I high on pain meds?”

“No,” Taehyung dragged out. “Point one: you haven’t been that doped up since that time that Jin-hyung was so tired that he doubled our doses after the Big Fight. And point two: Namjoon-hyung definitely said he was going to tell her a few days ago at dinner. He swore he would explain everything and get it set up.”

“To be fair, it seems like he started to. But with all that’s been happening over the last few days,” Hobi interjected. “I mean, what with all the extra assignments he’s had to monitor, the conferences he’s had to deal with, the information Jungkookie came home with…”

“Not to mention Jungkookie…,” Taehyung smirked, only to have J-Hope reach out to smack him on the back of the head. You didn’t try to understand why as you were still trying to figure out what they were alluding to in regard to you.

“For a genius, he can be such a dumbass,” Yoongi groaned.

“Either way, he’s been a bit stressed out. We can forgive him for forgetting. He must have gotten his days confused and didn’t set a reminder to tell Y/N.”

You stomped your foot to grab their attention. “Please, can someone fill me in on what I’m supposedly missing here?”

The three gang members, suddenly, looked so small, almost like they were all trying to figure out how best to explain. You wondered if calling Namjoon would have been easier.

Yoongi cleared his throat. “Look, I’ve been in this hospital for almost two weeks. That’s too long. And the longer I’m here, the more dangerous for the innocent people who are here it becomes. The Royals have been scouting out this place, just trying to get a glimpse of any of us. Not to mention you. So, I’m leaving today. That’s why Taehyung had to dye my hair quickly and make me look as inconspicuous as possible. I can do the rest of my healing back at the Magic Shop, under Jin-hyung’s care. Doctor Na already came in and said things were ready to go.”

And that was why the full medicine bottles were there, you realized. You looked about the room and finally noticed that all the things they had brought Yoongi was missing. All his papers were placed in a file, sitting neatly on the table next to all of Taehyung’s supplies. All of it pieced together in your mind. They were actually leaving. That meant that you were free of them, right? Your contract must end when Yoongi set foot off the property. Of course, you were relieved. But you would be lying if there wasn’t a small part of you that would miss them. Despite how you felt at the beginning, they had treated you very well and gave you a lot to consider. Though, there was main part of your brain that reminded you that they were purposely keeping their real work from you, the U4-1A part. You couldn’t wait to be free of that stress. You were thankful for all they had done and would take that as full payment for this ‘life-debt’ they kept saying they owed you.

“Oh,” you said, composing yourself as you would for any patient that was leaving your care, “I see. I didn’t realize. Well, I’m sorry to see you guys go so soon. Here, let me make sure everything is in order. I have all your medications here; the instructions are on the bottle. But I’m sure that Jin will know what to do. Let me double check all the paperwork before you go to make sure Doctor Na printed out all the correct things. I’m sure there’s no release papers since all this is hush-hush.” You made your way over to the folder and flipped through it, blind to the confused faces that stared after you. “Oh, he didn’t print out the instructions for your shoulder exercises. I can do that really quick. You remember how to do them right? I mean, you have my number so you can call me at any time if you have questions. It was quite the adventure meeting you. I hope the next time we meet it’s under different circumstances.”

“Wait, Y/N, I think you’re confused,” Yoongi said, grabbing your attention. “I’m just leaving the hospital for everyone’s safety. But there is still treatment needed. We are just changing locations. Besides, we still need to keep an eye on you. There are reports of Choi’s men still trying to locate you. And you’ll be safe at the Magic Shop. No one but us knows where it is.”

“Wait, what?”

Taehyung smiled. “You’re coming home with us. You’ve been promoted to in home care.”

“Your contract is until Hyung’s treatment is complete,” Hobi reminded you. “And all of this can be done in the safety of the Magic Shop. Don’t worry. Jin-hyung basically has a fully stocked hospital room set up with all the things you will need. Plus, it will be easier to keep an eye on you there. By the time we get there, lunch will be ready. See, I told you it wasn’t for the reason you thought.”

“I’m not so sure about this,” you said hesitantly, nerves suddenly rising. “I never realized that I would be working outside of here.”

“It’s going to be okay, Doll,” J-Hope assured you, dropping a new name for you that rolled off his tongue with such ease. “Everything will be ok. Everything is still the same. You’ll still go home afterwards. But instead of this boring hospital room, you’ll be with us. And we have everything at the Magic Shop to occupy yourself.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung said, practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. “You’ll love it there. I’ll give you a tour. And the others are home, and they will love to see you again. It’s gonna be so nice. And I promise, nothing will change. We will still keep the bad talk down.”

“Please, Y/N,” Yoongi added, voice so calm, it soothed your nerves against your own judgement. “I promise everything will be ok.”

You met his eyes.  And just like every other time, you felt compelled to trust him. You couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was just a well-practiced trick he had acquired over the years. But that one part of you that wanted to believe him, clung to that feeling that he cared. The tension and apprehension left your body. You gave a defeated smile and nod, knowing that there was no use trying to disagree, and not just because of how you felt.

Taehyung and J-Hope made quick work of collecting the items and moving them out. Yoongi kept his eyes on you, trying to come up with something to say that could remove that defeated look you wore. He wanted to make you understand them better. When he had snapped at you when you had tried to ask about his past, he didn’t see the point at the time. After a few days, he understood it would strip the idea of this dangerous, violent killer that the media and public had described him. He had struggled with deciding on what to say, or if it would help, when to try and talk to you. But each time, he decided against it. While it would probably help, it wasn’t something he enjoyed talking about. Even Bangtan knew not to bring up certain things with him. Only Joon, who experienced much of the same and was there for him in some dark moments, was able to talk him through some tough nights. He needed to be brave. Though, he was still trying to understand the pull you seemed to have on him. He had been around many different sorts of people and none of them affect him the way you did with a simple look. No one else, except his own Bangtan.

While the other two were taking the last of their things down to their cars, you grabbed a stray jacket on the bed and helped slip it over Yoongi’s shoulders. “Mind your shoulder,” you said as he slipped his good arm into the sleeve. “It’s supposed to be cloudy and cold today.”

“We’ll be alright once we get to the Magic Shop. It’ll be warm and safe.”

“I can’t see how a shop that sells magic wands and trick cards is safer than the hospital,” you grumbled. He started to laugh, low and soft. You stood before him with your hands on your hips. “What’s so funny?”

           “You’ll see soon,” was his cryptic response. He reached out to touch the trim of your purple jacket. “Looks good on you.”

           “Thank you. Taehyung knows how to pick a good one, doesn’t he?” It was your turn to laugh at the sour look the crossed his face. “I’m kidding. You picked out a really nice jacket. I can’t thank you enough. It’s beautiful.”

           “Yes, it is. And so are..”

           “You two ready to go?” Taehyung was leaning against the door frame, pulling a black beanie over his grey hair.

           Yoongi praised Taehyung’s impeccable timing before he had said something he hadn’t realized. Thankfully, you didn’t seem like you had focused on it. You shrugged your shoulders and gave a defeated nod, still uneasy despite your joking behavior a moment ago. The two of you fell into step behind Taehyung as he swung the last of the bag over his shoulder and started down the hall. Yoongi couldn’t wait to get out of this hospital. But his joy was overshadowed by your uncertainty. He trailed behind you and Taehyung as the three of you made it to the elevator, and he could see how tense your shoulders were, the way you clenched your hands. He could practically hear your thoughts.  He had known this was going to be a difficult experience for you. Namjoon, Jin, and him had discussed it prior. Joon and Jin thought that with time, you would be more open to their presence and joining them at the Magic Shop would be an easy topic to bring up. But they were too optimistic. Yoongi knew about anxiety, and yours made his assumption very clear. While you were more comfortable with them during the schedule they had made, there were many safe places and familiar people. Now, you were going to be in unfamiliar territory with only them. The stench of fear and uncertainty rolled off you. If only Joon had remembered to talk to you before today, maybe they could have eased you into this.

           As the elevator door opened to the parking level, Hobi turned to the group once he determined the area clear. “Okay, here’s how we’re going to do this. Yeonjun has been scouting all morning and reported there’s been some Royal goons hanging out front. So, Taehyung is going to take the SUV and pick up the decoy we have coming out front. I’ll text Huening Kai once we split up. And when they follow them, Tae’s going to lead them in circles until they lose him. Meanwhile, I’ll take Hyung and Y/N in the town car. We’ll take the long way home just in case.”

           “Don’t worry,” Taehyung said, squeezing your shoulder in assurance, “this is the easy part. I’ll be there just in time to give you a tour of the Magic Shop.”

           You didn’t know what to say. All of this was happening too fast for you to process. Before you knew it, Taehyung was darting over to the familiar SUV you had used this morning with Hobi while you were being led to a car that was made to look like a fancy taxi. The inside was spacious with leather seats, dark, wooden finishing with soft lighting across the roof that looked like stars, and a partition that separated the driver from the passengers. The windows in the passenger’s sections were tinted so dark you could hardly see the other cars parked nearby. The windows were, also, thick with a shutter in between the panes. You climbed into the back of the car and were followed by Yoongi. Suddenly, your world was closed in, and you felt so hopeless. Hobi whispered something to Yoongi before shutting the door and hopping into the driver’s seat.

            After departing from the parking structure and pulling out onto the main road, all seemed like it was going well. There was plenty of traffic and other luxury taxis from you to blend in without a thought. In the light of day, you still couldn’t make a lot out through the heavily tinted windows. However, as you pulled around to the front of the hospital, Hobi pointed out Taehyung’s SUV was in place. You squinted and could make out the familiar frame leaning against the black car, waving at someone. As your car came to a stop at the light just adjacent to him, you could make out someone walking over to him dressed in a large, hooded coat with platinum hair sticking out, and holding his arm to sell the fantasy that this was Yoongi. Had he not been sitting next to you, you would have been fooled. Taehyung played his part well; he ran up to the decoy and hugged him, fussing and ushering him to the SUV while looking about for anyone who may be watching.

           “Will Taehyung be okay,” you asked as the SUV pulled away.

           “Don’t worry,” Hobi said as he shifted the car and followed the stream of traffic. “If the Royals follow him, Taehyung knows how to get away. He’s gonna have them following themselves by the end of it. He knows these streets better than anyone. I’m sure by the time we get to the Magic shop, he’ll be right behind us. Speaking of, I’m going to close up the windows back there. Nothing personal Doll, but we can’t let you know where we’re going. You understand, right?”

           “I understand. It’s not as if I already don’t know where we are. I only know a small part of the city. But I get it.”

           The car fell into an uncomfortable silence after that. Once the shutters in the back rolled down, the lights from above turned brighter. You wrapped your arms about yourself to keep from panicking. It was this same yoyoing situation you kept battling when it came to anything Bangtan related. Yes, they kept reminding you that they were going to protect you. But you still felt trapped. All the random turns Hoseok made were making you sick. From what you could see from the front windshield, you couldn’t tell where you were at. You hadn’t been lying when you said you only knew a small part of Central; you followed the same route every day since you had arrived. Central was so vast, Amber had told you it was easy to get lost if you didn’t know where you were going. So, she helped you learn the simple bus route from her place to the hospital, and from your apartment. You were already confused about where you are. And that didn’t help your anxiety.

           It only intensified after twenty minutes of twists and turns when Hobi’s phone rang. He announced he needed to take this and started to roll up the partition to give him more privacy. Just before it was fully rolled up, you heard Hoseok state, “yep, we got her. It’s going according to plan.” What plan? While a part of you tried to justify what he said, one part of you started rotating through every horror option it could come up with.

           “I can almost see smoke coming out of your ears,” Yoongi’s voice cut through the silence of the car and stopped all the cycling in your mind. “Everything is going to be fine. We already told you this. He’s just talking to Jin-hyung. He’s checking in on us. He must have already talked to Taehyung. You’re going to be fine.”        

           “You guys keep saying that. And as much as I want to believe you, this is so much for me to take at one time. I don’t know what’s going to happen, if I’m going to wind up in some locked-up room until this contract is up. And then what happens? It’s not like I can just walk away, right? Isn’t that what the movies get right? Am I going to get scared into silence or bought, or drugged, or…”

           “Hey,” he reached out and put a hand on your shoulder, “nothing like that is going to happen. We’re not the monsters here. Just calm down. I promise you’re not going to do anything that isn’t ultimately going to help you. Just take a breath and enjoy the ride.”

           “Oh, that’s so easy to do,” you said as sarcastically as possible. “Every time I start to let my guard down, I get thrown into another scary situation that just reminds me of who I’m dealing with. You guys don’t understand what I’m feeling.”

           “Sure, because none of us were ever forced into something. At least you get to ride in a car with someone trying to make it easy. At least you have people who are trying to explain it to you and show you some kindness. And ultimately, you have people who are changing everything they would normally do to make sure that you are comfortable. Your life isn’t broken and cut off; you still get to see those you want and go home at the end of the day. I would have killed for that. So, trust me if anyone in this car knows how you feel, even just a bit, it’s me. You’re allowed to be unsure and nervous. But know that you are in better hands than I was. You are much safer than I was.”

           He took his hand away and turned to stare at his own reflection in the covered windows. The car once again fell into an uncomfortable silence. You found yourself remembering that day in the hospital when you two had fought. You remembered him telling you that he didn’t have a choice and how angry he got. Maybe he did get it. He wasn’t dismissing your feelings as it may have sounded to any passerby; he was giving you a different perspective. You turned to look at him and saw him struggling with himself, like he was trying to find something else to say but nothing was working. He let out a deep sigh, coming to a resolution after a long moment.

           “I never wanted to do this. Never wanted to join a gang, you know. I really don’t like having to explain this…”

           “You don’t have to tell me anything,” you interjected. “I’m sorry, it’s been hard and I just couldn’t handle my own emotions. I should have taken those anti-anxiety pills Dr. Na wanted me to try. But please don’t feel like you have to tell me things just to make a point.”

           “Stop,” the command had no harshness or power behind it. It was more of a plea. “You had asked me before and I blew up because I was angry and thought you were just being intrusive. But once I thought about it, I figured it would help you see us for what we really are. To see we’re not what people think. This isn’t a fun subject for me. Hell, I don’t think I told the others until a few years after we all got together. I think only Namjoon and Hoseok knew the whole story first. It’s been so many years, you think I would be over this. But just now, I found myself struggling to find the words. But I need you to understand us. I want you to see why we’re here and that you are in safe hands. Safer than I was.”

           You nodded, giving him your full attention.

           “My family lived in a small town outside of Central. My family was poor but hard working. It was just my parents, my older brother, and I in a small apartment. My parents worked all the time just to make ends meet. I assume they cared about me. They never beat me or anything like that, but I wasn’t their primary focus. My brother could do no wrong in their eyes. Whereas I couldn’t meet their expectations. I would come home with B’s, he would have A’s. Nothing I ever did measured up to him. When he graduated, he told my parents he was going to move to Central and open a restaurant. They were so happy. After he was gone, they had asked me what I wanted to do when I was done with school. I wanted to pursue music. I had always loved it and found myself writing lyrics or playing on a piano that was in the lobby of our building. Yes, I was good at it. You can imagine how disappointed my parents were. They told me I needed to find something practical, a job that benefited society. They figured it was a phase and I would come to my senses. But I could never make them happy. After a while, they just ignored me. I think they hoped that I would drop everything to get their attention again. By the time I was thirteen, they had completely given up on me and just considered me a lost cause. I was just a shadow living in their house.”

           “I’m sorry you were made to feel that way,” you told him.”

           “The funny thing was, I was doing so well in school and everything else that I was in line for a scholarship to college, something my brother hadn’t done. My teachers were telling me that I was a genius, that I was going to make it. But there was still a part of me that wanted to make my parents happy. So, when I was fourteen, I started working odd jobs to help them pay the rent. I tried to buy their love and attention. My brother had written to me over the years, supporting my ambition and telling me how hard he was working. He told me once that once he made it, he would help me in my dream. And I believed him because I loved my brother more than my parents or music or myself. I was so stupid back then to believe him.”

           “I was fifteen when my brother had come back to our apartment. Said he was taking a break from work to come see us. He had worked in a bunch of places before using all his savings to buy a place in the high-end part of Central. My parents were so proud that they didn’t even think to ask how he was making it work. They were just so excited to tell the rest of the building how successful their son was. But my brother wasn’t ready to open this place. He didn’t know how to run it. He was in so much debt. He had sold all his belongings to try and save himself. When that didn’t help, he borrowed money from my parents, and they didn’t question it. He should have started smaller or keep learning for a few more years. But he ended up making a deal with the head of the Royals, Ji. My brother didn’t read the fine print where they were to be paid back with interest or they’d take it back in other ways. So, when he came back to our apartment, I knew something was wrong by the way he was acting. Ji and his team came banging on my parents’ door. I suppose my brother thought he could hide but they found him. They came barging in, breaking up the place, and began beating my brother. Ji planned on taking back his money either in cash or in years under his thumb as a slave. My parents begged Ji to spare their son. They were so desperate that they offered to pay his debt. But my parents didn’t have the money. But they had a spare to send in his place. I was younger, could work harder than my older brother, be a better asset to Ji than a broken body who could only cook and gamble away his money. My parents called me out and told me to go with Ji. They said, ‘if you love our family, you’ll finally be useful’. They promised once the debt was paid, we would be a family again. I thought they were crazy, how could they do this to me? But Ji decided he liked the idea. So, I was dragged out of the apartment, screaming and begging for them to do the right thing. But they didn’t. I was thrown into the trunk of a car and taken to their headquarters, where for days I was starved and beaten until I agreed to do whatever they wanted. That’s how they get people to agree to join the Royals, you know. You either die or join.”

           “You really didn’t have a choice,” you concluded with a shocked expression. “That’s awful. How did you survive all that?”

           “I had to adapt. I held onto hope that my brother would start working again and buy my freedom. I held out hope for a few months. But I gave up on them like they had with me. I needed to survive so I did whatever I needed to. I changed my name to hide myself. I learned to steal, shoot, intimidate people into giving me what I needed. And when I was weak, they would make an example out of me for any new person. Choi’s favorite way to punish kids was to beat them until they were on the brink then lock them in a freezer. He’d let you out just before death took you. They thought it would create this dependency on them, brainwash you into believing you needed them to survive. That was Ji’s philosophy. The other three generals were just as bad if not worse. Sol was the one who monitored everything for Ji, making sure it didn’t go too far. He was the one to go out and find the new ‘recruits’. Then, when we were being punished, he would whisper to the new ones how lucky they were to be with him and not with Choi or D or the other. Choi was all about physical punishment. D was sadistic. Someone said he went mad a long time ago and reverted to this childlike state. He made this ‘playroom’ which was a torture chamber, and we were the toys for him to use. He had a tank of water to drown you with, or things to stretch you. Too many things. The youngest general liked to use drugs to mess with you. Meanwhile, Ji would come in and make himself the savior, so you’d swear allegiance to him and escape the pain. I tried not to lose myself. I put up so many walls to protect myself for years. I never stuck my neck out for anyone because no one was going to do that for me.”

           “Then I met Joon. He was kidnapped from some club he had gone to on some school trip. He was so smart but also so dumb. I found myself in him, I suppose, and wanted to protect him. He was just a kid, not yet full of anger like me. And he was always watching and learning. I figured he could be useful. So, I would pair up with him a lot. And for the first time in a long while, I found someone I could rely on. He saved me from falling into the darkness, supported me. We, even, bonded over music together. I guess you could say that we became really good friends in that shit hole. We tried to run a few times. One time we made it to a police station. But Ji already had them in his back pocket and they were just as bad as the Royals. We were put in jail for a few nights before they delivered us back to Ji. And we got in a lot of trouble. But as long as we were still together, we could endure it. After a while, we figured there was no real out except advancing. So, we worked together to keep our real selves from disappearing like Ji wanted.”

           “So how did you get out? Did you just advance enough?”

           “I was eighteen when we finally got out. Three full years for me, two and a half years for Joon. We had learned a lot, had plans. But the one thing neither of us did was kill someone in cold blood. We had learned to shoot, but we had only been in fights where we had to defend ourselves. We had been teamed up with some younger kids to go collect some protection money from a store in the poor part of town. And Sol was with us to make sure we passed his test. The family didn’t have enough to pay and Sol dragged out their kid. Must had been no more than eight years old. Sol handed his gun to Joon and told him to shoot the kid to send the family a message. It would have destroyed Namjoon to do that. Despite what you’ve seen, Namjoon isn’t a coldblooded killer. He’s this big kid just trying to keep it together. And I’m sure Sol wanted to destroy that innocence. He tried to reason with the General, but Sol pushed him. Said if he didn’t shoot him, then Joon would take his place. I didn’t want Joon to do it, couldn’t see him be destroyed or killed. So I pushed Joon out of the way, took the gun, and shot the father in the leg instead. I tried to reason with Sol that shooting the kid wouldn’t make them pay us back, just make them fall further behind in their grief and that wouldn’t pay the bill. I justified that us taking mercy and giving the father a wound as a reminder would be enough. But he didn’t see it that way. He saw disrespect, an act of disobedience that the newer members would learn from. And weakness from Namjoon. So, I was sent to Choi for my punishment. I was always Choi’s favorite to hurt because I’d fight back or say something to fuck with him. And he wanted to be the one to put me in my place. He beat me with fists and metal pipes. Anytime I would pass out, he would wait and then start up again. This went on for hours. Finally, he dragged me to a walk-in freezer and locked me in. Either I would freeze to death or succumb to my injuries, or he would start all over again until I gave in. Unless Ji took mercy on me. He told me that Joon had been sent to somewhere where they would break his mind and leave him there. And I was going to live with that guilt forever. I can’t tell you how long I was in there, but I was so sure that I was going to die.”

           “The next thing I remember was someone shaking me back to consciousness. They picked me up from the frozen ground and brought me out into the detention center and started to wrap up the worst of my wounds. They even put a coat on me. I guess one of the Suits had a change of heart. Couldn’t tell you why. I didn’t recognize him at the time. Probably could now if I saw him. If he’s still alive. But he had told me he was proud of me for saving the family and my friend. Said he saw how I was still human after all that time. I remember telling him that I didn’t care what happened to me but if anyone needed to be saved it was Namjoon. I begged him to rescue him instead. Then he said to me ‘you two are so alike, caring more about each other than yourself. That’s why you’ll be a great team and survive’. He had already rescued Joon. He was waiting outside for us. The man helped us get out of the Royals’ detention center and through the fences that secured it. Once we were in the city, he gave us money and told us to never look back, to find our light of hope. After that, we met Hoseok, and he helped us hide for a while. Then, we started meeting the others and came to the same conclusion that we wanted to make sure the Royals couldn’t continue doing this to others. And Bangtan was formed. We started by intercepting their kidnapping circuit and freeing the kids, then their supply lines, then performing rescue missions. We started protecting, selling, and creating just to destroy them. The rest is history. We led an uprising, the Royals fell, and Ji is dead.”

           You sat there in silence, digesting every word he had said. You couldn’t believe what he had been through. And it made you want to learn about the others’ journeys. But it also made you realize how you had really been letting the preconceived image of them affect you. They weren’t these murdering, drug peddling thugs that you assume all gang members were. They had been tortured but still trying to do something against a greater evil. While you still didn’t approve of the selling of U4-1A, there was so much more to them than you had thought. You felt so bad for him for all the years he had gone through. No wonder he was so angry at the police when you brought it up. Had your father been around back then, you were sure he wouldn’t have been bought by that monster. And Yoongi didn’t have anyone else to turn to but those who had been in his shoes. There was so much more to them than you thought.

           “Did you ever see your family again?”

           His eyes shifted to you for the first time since starting his story. Of course, he had tried to see them again. The first time he had escaped he was almost home when he realized that they wouldn’t want him back. Sol had found him and showed him his brother’s debt, told him how his family hadn’t tried to come for him or buy him back. He, even, drove him to the apartment which had been sold not long after that night. While he had hoped that this was just some mental trick by Sol, three years had made it hard. Then after they had started to make a name for themselves, Bangtan had tried to have some closure with their pasts. He could remember walking on the dirt road to a small house that his family had moved into after that night when he was taken. Jin had pulled some records for him, not that he had asked the elder to do so. Hobi had driven him out there. Said it would be good for him to make amends or something. Actually, all of them had pushed him to see his family again just to help him close that chapter of his angry life. The others had reached out to theirs, whether for good or not. Yoongi remembered seeing his brother’s beat up truck out front as he made his way to the door and knocked on it. He didn’t want to do this. He was still angry, still hurt. He didn’t want to have a family with them anymore. He had found a family that actually wanted him. Why come back to this? Yoongi was about to leave when his brother had opened the door. After five years, his brother hadn’t changed. He looked tired and worn, but the same. But Yoongi looked different, dressed not in hand-me-downs as he had for years, but in expensive clothes he had bought himself with the money he had made from Bangtan. It took his brother a good minute to recognize him. It was the first time he recalled seeing his brother cry as he reached out to hug him.

           “Little brother,” Yoongi remembered him crying, “you’re alive! I’m so happy to see you!”

           “So happy, yet you didn’t try to get me out,” Yoongi had retorted, voice turned gravel over the years of anger and abuse.

           “I know, Yoongi. Trust me, I wanted to so bad. I tried. They didn’t make it easy. I wanted to get you, but I had to get things right. After all the medical bills and the move, it was hard. But I promise you I was trying. I never stopped thinking about you. Eomma and Appa are working but they are going to be so happy to see you when they get home.”

           “I doubt that. They were so ready to give me away. Why would they care if I survive? You can stop pretending like this was some mistake. I’m not here to stay. I just thought you’d like to know I got out without your help. Not that you were actually doing anything. I’m just here to let you know I won’t be around anymore, so you don’t have to pretend.”

           “No, please, it’s not like that. I swear, I was trying. They were trying. They knew they made a mistake that night. I didn’t know that’s what they did until it was too late. We wanted to get you back, but they kept raising the interest on my debt. Every time I thought we were close, it doubled. We asked them to tell you we were trying. We tried asking to see you, but they wouldn’t let us. I filed with the police, but they came up with nothing. Please come inside. Let’s talk about this. You’ve grown up so much, I didn’t recognize you. You’ve been through a lot.”

           “And all because of you. I took a punishment for you because of your stupidness. If you had just done what you were supposed to do, none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have had my life taken away because I was the screw up spare. You were the screw up. But Eomma and Appa loved you more. I hope you enjoyed your life because I paid for it. Tell them the screw up paid your debt and is now going to be more successful than their favorite. Tell them that I don’t need them because they made me that way. They never cared about me. Ever since I told them I wanted to follow my own dreams, I was nothing to them. Well, they get their wish. I’m now a full member of society, just not how they wanted, I’m sure. You didn’t try anything; I saw the debt you still owed. So, don’t try to sell me this bullshit of how you tried or how you loved me. If you did, I wouldn’t have spent all those years in Hell. If any of you cared, you would have not taken that money or gone in my place like you should. For years, I survived beatings, starvation, and torture all for you. And what do I get out of it? Knowing that for all these years, my parents valued a failure over someone who had a college career laid out for him so he could be someone they could be proud of. Some family. And yet, I’m still doing things for you. Here,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope full of money, “I paid your debt for you. And I’m buying my freedom from you. Spend it, burn it, gamble it for all I care. But you tell them that I, the screw up who was useless to this family, made it by working harder than you ever did. And there is more there than you could have made in a year at your little restaurant. You know, the one that closed in a month because you had too high ambitions and not enough sense. Just had to make them proud and prove you were better than me. Well, now you’re the only son. And I’ve once again helped you out of debt. My final gift to you is a clean slate. There’s enough there to get you to a comfortable state. But if you waste it again, you won’t have me to save you.” He couldn’t stand there anymore. His anger was gushing out like a bleeding wound. It was taking everything in him to not break down. Because that’s not who he was in this moment. He wasn’t the younger brother who was upset with his family for forgetting him. He was the monster who was fueled by the hate of being abandoned for all those years. The person he had to become to protect himself. His members had worked so hard to help him, and this was supposed to be the clousure to help with his pain. He wanted to go home. He turned from his stunned brother to head back to the car.

           His brother grabbed his arm and turned him back, throwing the envelop to the ground. “Yoongi, please…”

           Faster than his brother could anticipate, Suga had yank his arm free and had his older brother pinned against the door frame, with a gun pressed under his chin. “Min Yoongi is dead,” he screamed! “I killed him because of you! My name is Agust, not Yoongi. Not anymore. He’s dead. Your baby brother is dead and gone. Only I remain to tell his story.”

           Yoongi snapped himself out of his memory and back to the present. He hadn’t seen or tried to reach out to his family since. He hadn’t kept track of them either. Yoongi had fallen into a depression after that where the others had to struggle to pull him out of it. But they were there for him, and they were his family. He hated remembering that day just as much as his time with the Royals. But Yoongi needed to remind himself that he had grown from that, and he was fine. He was not ever going to be abandoned again.

           “No,” he told you after taking a second to compose himself. “I know who my family is.”

           At that moment, Hoseok rolled down the partition. You had never seen this part of town before and were sure you had almost crossed into another country at this point. He smiled in the rearview. “You two doing ok back there?”

           “How much longer are we going to drive in circles? Pretty sure she has no idea where we are and if anyone is still following us, I’ll be surprised,” Yoongi asked as he slouched down in the seat.

           “Relax, you grumpy kitty. No one followed us. Taehyung thinks he had someone following him for a bit, but he’s been in the clear for the last twenty minutes. We should be at the Magic shop in ten. You ready to see the Magic shop, Y/N?”

           “I suppose I don’t have a real say in it. But I’m ready for anything at this point as long as I can stand up for a bit.”

           “Don’t worry, Taehyung’s really excited to give you a tour of the place,” Hoseok rolled the partition back up with one last smile to you.

           True to his word, the car came to a halt after ten minutes. Yoongi had fallen silent again, leaning heavy against the window. You figured that trip down bad memory lane had been a lot for him mentally. At one point, the car sloped down and there was a hollow echo as if you had entered an underground tunnel. Was the Magic Shop so well hidden from Choi because it was underground? But how could that be? Then, the car pulled back up and leveled out again. But this must be normal as Yoongi didn’t react to it. The sound of the road changed from the familiar sound of pavement to gravel before coming to a stop.

           Then, Hobi opened the door.

           You weren’t sure what you were expecting but it wasn’t an abandoned, run down train yard paved with gravel stone and packed dirt with weeds. You weren’t sure where in the city you were, but this place looked as if it hadn’t been touched for years. Looking behind the car, you could see the road you had driven in on led to a tunnel that traveled under an elevated part of the old tracks that led all over the yard. Old, rusted strips ran as far as you could see with old, forgotten train cars scattered here and there covered in rust and age like a dead homestead. You swore you could make out a few people shifting between the cars; homeless maybe? There was a long chain length fence that surrounded the stretch of land with ripped and mended privacy tarps and caution signs. You could make out the words ‘condemned by order of the city’, ‘do not enter’, and ‘no trespassing’. Where were you? Looming ahead like a chilling shadow was a building to match the signs. It was large, an old attempt at a train terminal you assumed. The windows were boarded, there was rusted scaffolding leaning heavy against the exterior. The building must have been planned to be a grand travel sight with its arching roof and high clock tower. The three-story building had seen better days. The grounds were unkempt, with vines and weeds taking over. It appeared that the side of the building was covered in more fencing and tarps to hide its decay from the elements. Dead electrical wires lay broken against the structure. Bricks were broken or missing entirely. You could make out layers of graffiti from years of vandalism. And trash littered everywhere. The whole place was dying, taking a final breath before being forgotten by time. The sound of dogs barking echoed across the emptiness of the abandoned yard. You couldn’t hear any cars from the street or any sounds of the city. How far away were you from civilization?

           That feeling that you were about to be left for dead came back.

           “We found this place a long time ago,” Hobi said as he took a look about the place with a fondness you couldn’t understand. “Seokjin said that about seventy years ago, some rich bastard wanted to make a lavish station with shops and a hotel, where trains from all over the country could come. There were some drawings in some old records that showed crown molding, stained glass windows, marble everywhere. It was going to look like a palace when it was done. But there was a bankruptcy, or a fire, or it changed hands too many times, I can’t remember. But it was forgotten. It fell into ruin and the city sectioned it off. They were gonna demolish it a while back after some people got hurt sneaking in for a prank. But it was forgotten during the first big gang war. Now, it’s just an eye sore in this part of town. Not that there’s much around here. It was perfect. After Jin blackmailed his father, he bought it for us.”

           “I don’t think I understand. It looks like it’s about to come down. This can’t be where you live,” you said, hugging the straps of your bag closer to you.

           “Well, it wouldn’t be a good hideout if it looked like a mansion.” Well, he got you there.

           From the other side of the monstrous building, the familiar SUV came into view. Taehyung parked it by an overturned shipping container that must have fallen from one of the transport trains years ago. He hopped out of the car, followed by the decoy Suga. Without the tinted windows in the way, you were able to get a better look at him. He was young, much younger than you anticipated. Without the hood up or the act, he looked nothing like Yoongi up close. And he was taller. He had a boyish shyness to him as he greeted the others. How young did Bangtan start recruiting? Yoongi had been fifteen when he was taken by this Ji they had referenced before.

           “Any problems,” Yoongi asked, falling into his ‘Suga’ tone of voice you had started to differentiate. This was more authoritative, calculating, and colder. Whereas Yoongi was quieter and calmer.

           “Not too much. The Suits were definitely watching us. We were followed for about twenty minutes before I lost them in NCT territory. Baby Kai did his part well didn’t he? Trained him myself, Y/N.” Taehyung threw his arms around the boy, who shrank into himself from the sudden attention.

           “Tae, stop teasing him. Kai, can you take care of the cars for us? I think I saw Taehyun and Beomgyu down in the shipping containers. They can help if you want. Then start doing some rounds. I assume Soobin is still in the lab, so just do the basics.”

           Heuning Kai gave another bow to Suga before taking the keys from Taehyung and moving the SUV out of sight.

           “Can we go in now,” Yoongi grumbled as he ran his good hand through his now red hair. “I’m still hurt if you all forgot and would like to lay down.”

           “Sorry, Ahjussi,” Taehyung sighed, earning a glare from his hyung. “Come on, Y/N. It’s even prettier on the inside.”

           You wanted to question his statement- in fact, you wanted to question a lot of things- but he presented you with his arm and a boxy grin that compelled you to follow the three of them up to the large entrance. Off a small staircase to the concrete platform, there was a large set of double doors, highly embossed brass arching doors from a vintage design plan. There were wooden planks nailed across the frame that towered above you, making it impossible to open the door from the outside. Before you could ask what magic word they had to speak to get the door to open, Hobi balled his fist and knocked hard on one of the boards near the middle of one of the doors. Your eyes widened as a small square of the old wooden board swung open on a hinge. It was a hidden panel that hid an old keep pad and a doorknob. There was no seam, so they had to know exactly where to hit it and you were sure with years of practice, they knew what they were looking for. Hobi’s fast fingers typed in a code that seemed to have too many numbers before you heard a loud click that made you jump. Taehyung couldn’t hide his laugh and you could have sworn you saw Yoongi smile too before you brought your attention back to Hoseok. He gave the knob a quick twist before shutting the panel, and it disappeared from your sight as fast as it appeared.

           And a normal sized door swung open before Hobi, just as magical as the panel had been. You weren’t sure how it could be possible for it to be so well hidden. Hobi and Yoongi stepped in without a thought, disappearing into the inky blackness beyond the door despite the sunny day. Taehyung gave you a reassuring squeeze before trying to take a step towards the door. But your feet stayed rooted, too scared to follow. But he was patient, still giving you an encouraging nod. He stepped partway into the door, slightly disappearing into the darkness, and presented his hand out to you. This is so crazy, you kept saying. But there was nothing behind you for an escape and you had to trust them, right? You took a deep, uneasy breath, adjusted your bag across your shoulders, and took Tae’s hand. And he pulled you into the darkness.

           The door swung closed with a heavier clang than you expected that sent you stumbling into Taehyung’s arms. You felt his whole chest vibrate with a silent laugh. You held on tighter as the biting chill of the room set upon you. It must have been more than twenty degrees colder in the sealed room than outside. There were small streams of light flooding in through broken pieces of ceiling above you. As your eyes adjusted to the hazy shadows, you could make out a small entrance space with arching columns lining either side with broken benches leading to closed off doors that seemed just as sealed as the double doors you had just passed through. The floor was a dusty tiled mosaic that you were sure would have looked beautiful in the light from the glass roof and crystal chandelier had either of those been uncovered or well maintained. The streams of light seemed to all verge on the same thing at the end of the room; a small, caged ticket window that was currently occupied by a masked and hooded figure that made you gasp and hold on to Taehyung more.

           “See hyung,” Hobi’s cheerful voice cut through the suffocating silence, “I told you that old mannequin would be good there if anyone broke in. Gives the place a real haunted vibe. And it scared someone other than me and Jin-hyung.”

           Yoongi ignored him and looked back at you. Through the dim lights, you could have sworn he looked concerned about you. “It’s okay, Y/N. This is just the façade to scare trespassers away. Not that we have many anymore.”

           “Yeah, we don’t come in this way too often. We usually go in through the garages. But we wanted to give you the full show,” Taehyung said, sounding almost giddy, like he was proud of this.

           “Well, I’m officially freaked out. I’m supposed to be trusting you with my safety and I get a horror show. Is this why it’s called the Magic Shop? With appearing doors and haunted house effects?”

           “Not necessarily,” came the response, but from who you couldn’t tell as Taehyung started to move you forward. As you got closer to the caged ticket booth, you could just make out an old plaque hanging on it. You could just make out a few words, ‘Wanted to become your comfort and move your heart, to take away your sadness and pain. Open the door and this place will await, it’s okay to believe’. You weren’t sure what it meant but for some reason, it eased your fear in a way you couldn’t explain. The four of you stood in front of the sealed door to the right of the booth with seemingly no place to go. Hoseok turned to you with a grin.

           “Are you ready to see what’s next?”

           “I don’t think I have any other choice. So, show me.”

           “I’ll show you.” And he reached up and yanked on a dusty wall sconce that was shaped like an old hourglass.

           The door swung open into a huge atrium that must have once been designed as the main lobby for the massive train station. It was so bright from the stained-glass skylight that it took your eyes a moment to adjust before you could take in everything. The whole grand room was bathed in a beautiful array of colors, with dimmed lighting fixtures you could only assume would brighten as the sun went down. The room was warm and comforting. Compared to the outside that was modeled with a vintage flair, the inside was so new and modern. There was a grand stairway in the center that led up to the second floor made from white marble and iron that arched in a fine design. Where outside there were dying plants and rusted facades, inside there were beautiful, green plants and art work hung about that gave it a revitalized feel. Where you could assume based on their descriptions of what it was supposed to be, on the second floor there were three open archways that led into halls that may have been meant for shops and lounges, and down on the first floor there were passageways on either side of the stairs that must have led to the train platforms at one point. You could see a small sitting area just by the stairs, and another set of stairs leading down beyond it. Maybe those lead to the garages Taehyung was talking about. You felt Tae slip out of your grasp and step away, admiring your shocked expression as you took it all in. It was like you had stepped into a fantasy. All fear that you had dulled as you let the curiousness of the place overwhelm you. There had to be some magic at work for this to be possible.

           Before you could form a question, you heard footsteps echoing from one of the halls on the ground floor. From the hall to your left, Namjoon appeared reading a book, thick glasses perched on the end of his nose with his white hair messy and falling across his gaze. He was dressed in a baggy, white t-shirt and black sweatpants, a very relaxed homebody look that didn’t give off the air of the ‘heartless leader of a notorious gang’. There was a steaming cup of coffee in his other hand. Perhaps that way was where the kitchen was? Nevertheless, he didn’t really seem to notice you all had entered. Could they be so sure that no one would find them that this was normal? By the way that Hobi rolled his eyes and Yoongi gazed at the other, this seemed normal to them. They watched as Namjoon continued to make his way across the atrium, muttering the words on the page to himself in a gruff voice, the corners of his lips lifting in an amused smirk that you couldn’t help but find cute. As he got closer, you started to notice little marks that could just be seen from the laxed collar of his shirt; fresh bruises on one side of his neck and a few on his wrist. And on the other side of his throat, it almost seemed like there were faded bite marks. Had he been in a fight? Was that why you hadn’t seen him or why he had forgotten to talk to you? But he seemed fine now. He was all smiles and relaxed. Unless this was, also, normal for them.

           As he was about to walk past the four of you, he seemed to finally sense that there was someone else there. His warm eyes glanced up at you before he returned to his book. “Hey hyungs, Tae. Morning Y/N.” And he continued to walk, as if nothing was odd or unexpected. He made it to the main stairs before his body jolted to a stop and he slowly turned back to face you all with a look of pure confusion and dread. His eyes darted around like he was trying to search his brain for an answer to some many questions. His whole posture shrank in a sheepish way that was almost adorable for the large man. “What day is it?”

           “It’s Wednesday, Namjoon-ah,” Hobi chided. “You know, the day you decided we were gonna bring Y/N here. We talked about this.”

           “Shit,” the leader grumbled as he snapped his book closed and deposited it on the stair banister along with his coffee. “I’m so sorry. Things just got so caught up. I thought it was still the weekend. With all these meetings and Jungkook coming back from his mission. I was still waiting for Jackson to get here and give me the report I asked for. I lost track of time and got the days confused-”

           “You know,” Yoongi interrupted, “for someone who is revered for being a genius, you sure are a dumbass. But I guess that’s one of your lovable qualities.”

           Namjoon’s cheeks turned a cute shade of red as he pulled his glasses off his face. “Nice to have you home, Hyung. Y/N, I’m sorry. I wanted to talk to you about this to make sure you were going to be comfortable with this. I hope the guys eased you into it.”

           “I mean, they tried. It was a bit of a shock. But I promise to get over it. I’ll make sure not to mess up your home. This is definitely not what I expected.”

           “It never is. Especially when you see the outside. Most of the time, we blindfold people until they’re inside. But we decided to trust you more. Since you did save Hyung’s life and all.” He stepped down the stairs and came up closer to the rest of you. You could see the marks better then. The bruises were definitely fresher than the faded bites on his neck. Bruises were something you were quite familiar with. The one on his wrist was more defined, almost resembling a handprint. “Sorry, if I had remembered what day it was, I would have dressed better. I just rolled out of bed.”

           “Oh,” you said, tearing your eyes away from his neck and trying not to blush, “it’s fine. I mean, this is your home after all. I don’t want to intrude on anyone’s habits.”

           “Don’t let Jimin hear you say that,” Taehyung whispered behind you. Even Yoongi snorted out a laugh.

           “Are you okay,” you asked, trying to sound as clinical and professional as you were supposed to in your role as in-home care. “Those marks look pretty bad. Did you get into a fight?”

           Namjoon’s hand flew to cover the deepest bruise on his neck, suddenly looking very nervous. Hobi put his hands on his hips in a very direct way and Taehyung leaned forwards over your shoulder, like they were expecting a very interesting answer from him. Yoongi eyed the younger man with a very intrigued look that dared Joon in a way you couldn’t decipher.

           “This? Oh, um… it’s nothing really. This is a… CrossFit injury. Yeah, CrossFit.”

           “CrossFit,” Yoongi echoed. “Really?”

           Taehyung leaned over to Hobi and whispered, “CrossFit, that’s a new nickname for Jungkookie,” which was hidden over Hoseok’s loud laughter.

           “No, really,” Namjoon defended, cheeks so red, “I had a CrossFit session with Jin last night. It’s a good stress reliever but can leave some… odd marks.”

           “Jin? CrossFit? Oh, this I have to see. Maybe we can catch an encore session? See if we can get some pointers?”

           “You guys, knock it off,” Namjoon hissed, voice raising in a more serious way that only seemed to encourage Hobi and Taehyung more. “Don’t listen to them, Y/N. They love to fool around.”

           “Us fool around? Maybe we should ask Jin and Jungkook?”

           “It’s okay,” you said, not really sure what all the fuss was about, other than the others getting a chance to rile their leader up after his embarrassment. “I think I’ve read something about that. That CrossFit can leave bruises on beginners if they don’t do something right. I’m sure the hospital has seen a few cases here and there.”

           “Seriously,” Joon had a look of disbelief on his face before he seemed to realize what he was saying. “I mean, yeah. I knew that. I read about it. That’s why I knew that.” He cleared his throat. “Anyways, what are you all planning to do? I should probably call Jackson and see why he’s taking so long.”

           “Yeah, nice save.” Yoongi pushed past Namjoon and started up the stairs. “I’m going to lay down for a while. No one bother me unless someone is dead or it’s time for my medicine.”

           “Hyung, let me help you to your room at least. Wouldn’t want you ‘accidentally’ locking yourself in the Genius Lab to work when you shouldn’t,” Hoseok dashed up and took ahold of Yoongi’s good hand. Yoongi growled something you couldn’t make out, but it made Hobi laugh again. You watched as they ascended the stairs and disappeared through one of the halls.

           “Come on, Y/N,” Taehyung said with a bounce in his step. “I promised you a full tour of the house. That’s okay, right Joon-hyung?”

           Joon looked like he was contemplating some factors that you didn’t know. You were about to suggest that Taehyung just show you where you were going to be set up and not bother with anywhere unnecessary, but he smiled.

           “I was going to wait for the report. But I think it’s fine. Just the main parts. I wouldn’t like to know what the guys’ rooms look like right now. Especially this grubby one,” Joon shoved Taehyung, who grabbed his arm with a playful wail.

           “Ow, you bulking behemoth! I’m so delicate! Besides, my room is immaculate. You’re the dirty one.”  

           “It’s called controlled chaos. And at least I know where all my stuff is.” Namjoon went back to collect his coffee. He turned back to you before he left with his arms stretched out in a grand manner.  “Have a good tour, Y/N. Welcome to the Magic Shop.”

[elphiej]

NEW CHAPTER ALERT!!!!

Oh boy, where do I start? First off, i am so so so sorry its been so long. I cringed when i saw when i lasted updated. When i first started writing this chapter, I intended to have it up by Jin's enlistment. Well, work and depression made that impossible. So then, i tried for Hobi's birthday then Yoongi's Birthday. Still i was struggling with stress and anxiety. BUT I finished it last night before my birthday. I made it extra long to make up for it and added some fun easter eggs for all of my readers, if you all still want to read it. My editor has it now. Once it is edited, i will post it. I am so excited to return to Be My Light. Who's ready to visit the Magic Shop?

[elphiej]

Hi there! I just love your BE MY LIGHT series! Can you tell me when will the next chapter be coming? Can't wait!!

Hi there anon. Sorry for a late reply. Tumblr doesnt alert me much anymore. Im so happy to see that enjoy Be My Light. It annoys me that its been so long since my last update but i am pleased to say i am almost ready to post the next chapter very soon. It just needs a few more touches and editing. I will post on my page and alert that the new chapter will soon be posted once my editor has. I appreciate the support and feel free to check in again

[elphiej]

Be My Light- Chapter 8: Make it Right

*Genre: Mafia, angst, slow burn, eventual smut (?)

*Warning: Mentions of drug use, angst

Author’s Note: To quote one of my Tiktoks, I look pretty good bitch. I can’t express how sorry I am for taking so long. But I hope you all who have waited so patiently will like this chapter. I tried to make it nice and long to make up for it. I appreciate those who sent nice messages to ask about progress or just let me know that they were excited for when this did drop. It really does help. Please drop a comment about what you liked, or just to say hi. As always I appreciate every single one of you. And we’ll see you next time!

Taglist: @lolalalooo, @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine, @mrsfortune1306, @lovesick-heart0, @iamnamjoonsbxtch, @deathkat657, @deeepvibes, @sugamonster22, @weiinihao, @hemmofluke, @rainbow-zebra-unicorns, @joyfullyobsessed, @elvencantation, @thefreddieman, @whateveritis616, @crewzie-chan, @wyomingphantom, @killbillv1, @kyrah-williams, @utterlynuts, @ot7jellostan, @zahraaelamira, @shesaysweirdthings, @toriluvsfics, @emu007, @zae007live​

                                           Chapter 8: Make it Right

           When your alarm sounded the next morning, you found yourself tucked in your bed with no memory of getting there. Which only meant that someone had carried you there. Normally, you’d be embarrassed about the scenario. But it didn’t really phase you. This morning was the first in a long time that you had a truly peaceful sleep with no nightmares plaguing your mind. Which was odd, considering the recent events. You were still wrapped up in Suga’s jacket. You couldn’t decide if it was the masculine scent or the softness that enveloped you, but it made you feel safe and comfortable. Which, again, was odd considering the man who gave it to you. But then, Jin and Jungkook were having you questioning their character over and over. And you couldn’t deny that there was something about Suga that racked your brain.

           You wondered what the other two had done all night. Had they tried to sleep on the futon, or had they taken shifts? You could hear someone moving about in the main room and figured it was best to get up. You threw on a fresh pair of scrubs and tried to hide the bruises under some basic makeup. As you applied some ointment to your lip, you were pleased to see it looks better than last night. You were surprised Amber hadn’t noticed when you sent a picture to prove you were home last night. If you saw her today, perhaps she wouldn’t be so suspicious and pass it off as you bit your lip or something. If she actually knew what had happened, you feared what she might do. You reached for Suga’s jacket again. It was confusing how much you wanted to hang onto it. I must really be messed up, you thought. You can’t get attached to something just because it’s from a nice gesture and you’re deprived of those nice moments. You really needed to look for a new jacket. But you’d have to wait for your first paycheck to clear before you could purchase one since your funds were already spent on rent and bills. But as you pulled the jacket over your shoulders, failing to stop the smile that appeared as you were lost in the scent again, you figured a few extra days wouldn’t bother anyone. Then, you snatched your real phone and made your way to greet your bodyguards.

           Everything was as neat and tidy as it was the night before. The only thing out of place was Jin and Jungkook, both of whom had disappeared, and in their place was V. He was scrolling through his phone in the kitchenette, and you almost dropped your things at the mere sight of him. While yesterday he seemed haphazardly thrown together while in a rush- albeit still good looking-, today he was immaculately put together. Even his makeup was perfection as he leaned against the counter in a pressed blue and white track suit with a white button up under the jacket. You caught a glimpse of a red tie swing out as he shifted his weight. He looked like the preppy character from one of the dramas you watched. The one that was too rich and gorgeous to approach but everyone wanted to be in his presence. It was way too early for your cheeks to be this red. He looked up from his phone and caught you in his newly colored gaze. Why did they sell gray colored contacts and why did they look so good on him?

           He straightened up with the smoothness of a tiger stalking its prey. “Hi there, pretty lady,” he greeted with a voice like liquid velvet. “Did you sleep well?”

           “I did,” you replied as you looked about the room for the others.

           “After the night you had, I would hope so. Looks like you did a pretty good job covering those bruises. If you want any easier tips, I can show you later. Anyways, I just finished setting up the camera. I wanted to show you before we left in case you had any concerns. Don’t bother looking for them; they’re invisible unless you know what you are looking for.”

           V sauntered over to you and showed you his phone. His long fingers danced across the screen as he displayed each camera angle. There was one outside the door, facing down the hall, and one near the peephole. The entire front room was covered as you saw the two of you from various positions, and another facing down the hall towards your room. They had definitely been serious about keeping you safe. It did make you a bit anxious at the amount.

           “Cool, huh? Pretty good if I say so myself,” V said with a proud puff of his chest. “I learned from Suga-hyung about surveillance. He wired our house and it’s foolproof. And we can monitor all of them from our phones if we get an alert. Jin-hyung suggested alarms on any window or sliding glass door in the bedroom, since we are not adding a camera in there. You’re okay with that right?

           “Yeah, that sounds fine.” Your head was spinning from all the information and worry. You tried to change the subject. “Speaking of, where is he and Jungkook? I didn’t hear them leave this morning.”

           “Why, am I not good enough?” He threw you a look that must be ranked as the most piteous pout you had ever seen.

           “No,” you stuttered, “It’s not like that! I was just…”

           “I see how it is,” he whined, crossing his arms in a huff. “Playing favorites! If you must know, Jin had some pressing matters back at the Magic Shop. And Jungkookie is doing some easy runs for Namjoon-hyung. So, I guess you have to be stuck with me. I get it; Everyone always goes for Jungkook because he’s youngest and cute. Well, I’m cute too, you know!”

           “I didn’t say that. I mean, yes, you’re cute too. I was just surprised to see you. Nothing else! I was only curious. And I am not playing favorites,” you stammered out.

           “That’s not what the picture says,” he retorted, a sly grin spread across his teasing lips.

           You froze. “What picture?”

           “The picture that Jin-hyung took last night of you two. Looks like favoritism to me.” As you stared back with a blank and confused look, the teasing look melted. “Did you not know? Jin-hyung sent it through our group chat last night. It’s not a bad picture. Hyung thought it was cute because Kookie’s very shy around girls and never gets that close to someone so quick. We all thought it was super cute. Here, look.”

           V took his phone back out and opened up their group chat. The picture seemed innocent enough; you leaning your head against Jungkook’s shoulder and him staring down at you with big eyes and red cheeks. You had moved unconsciously in your sleep because there was no way you would have knowingly done that to someone you weren’t completely sure of just yet. Underneath the picture, there was a thread of them responding, mostly commenting on how cute it was or how funny Jungkook looked, or if they had staged it as a joke. Your face glowed with embarrassment.

           “It’s not bad,” V reassured, “nothing to be embarrassed about. You just gave us enough material to tease him for the next few months. We thought you knew about it. I promise, no one meant anything bad by it. Here,” he pushed his phone into your hands, “put your number in my phone. I’ll make another chat with you in it. So, you won’t have to be embarrassed by anything else. Plus, if anyone bothers you or you get bored, you can text me. I’m always down to chat.”

           “Okay,” you said meekly, as you added your number to his contacts, “thanks for telling me, V.”

           “V is for business. You can call me Taehyung or Tae. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together. Might as well get familiar with each other,” he winked at you, causing you to turn a deeper shade of pink. He laughed low in his throat. “You’re cute when you blush. Nice to see you’re getting more comfortable with us and not scared anymore.”

           “I wouldn’t say comfortable just yet,” you mumbled, knowing exactly how wishy-washy you were being. But you couldn’t help yourself. The moment you felt yourself relax, like how you were with Jin and Jungkook last night, your brain would flash the image of RM handing U4-1A to Henry, or how terrifying J-Hope looked when he pulled his gun. And you would remember exactly how dangerous they were. But here you were finding comfort and security in Suga’s jacket. Had you not risked your life for him, would they be treating you like this? Would you have seen the real them or the act they wanted you to see? Every time you thought that you were seeing something real, the cycle started over again.

           Taehyung watched as you fiddled with your hands out of nervousness. While he was best when it came to reading people, it was all too obvious of the war that was raging within you. Not that he could blame you; he had gone through a similar situation before joining, after the incident when he was to weary to see who to trust. It had taken Jimin weeks of being by his side to ease him back into trusting them the way he does. Bangtan had figured out what he needed from them. So, as much as he enjoyed making you blush and squirm under his gaze, it wasn’t helping. He wanted you to relax and actually trust them like how he wanted to trust you. He had seen many people who had wanted to use them or were underhanded. And he didn’t see that in you. He needed to change his tactics.

           “Hey, don’t worry so much, Noona,” he soothed, gaze softening and tone shifting. “I know it’s overwhelming, but you’ll find out we’re not what we seem to be. We are really nice, albeit a bit crazy and spend a bit too much time together. Like a bunch of college guys, just not as obnoxious. We’ll take this one step at a time if that’s what you want. Or I can be a basic, robotic bodyguard who doesn’t talk to you. Though, that one is not as fun for either of us. Now, while you decide what you want, I think we should get going. Jin told me to he packed a lunch for you. I don’t know what it is, but it smells really good. I almost swiped it. But I am nothing if not a gentleman, Noona.”

           “Thanks, Taehyung. I appreciate what you said. I don’t want you to be a robot. But slow would be nice. I just need to grab my bag,” you said as you moved around him. “Oh, and by the way, you are not allowed to call me ‘Noona’. Only Jungkook is allowed to call me that.”

           “Hey, what happened to ‘not playing favorites’? Sounds like favoritism to me.”

           “It’s not. He’s the only one who can call me that because you all made fun of him for it, so he is the only one who gets the privilege of call me ‘Noona’ if he wants.”

           “So, what I’m hearing is,” he crooned, grabbing your hand so you’d turn back to him leaning over you, “that I can come up with my own special nickname for you that only I can call you since he gets to.”

           You flinched out of habit when Taehyung’s hand wrapped around your wrist, which you hope he didn’t notice. It just reminded you of your ex. How he had grabbed you when you tried to leave. But when you saw that big, boxy grin, your anxiety eased. You gave him a nod, though you were more intrigued as to what names he wanted to settle on.

           Sadly, for you, he had notice that flinch, the look in your eyes when you turned around. And he knew your look wasn’t about what happened last night, but something deeper. He choose not to mention it. Instead, he focused on the sleeve he was holding onto and recognized it. He tilted his head like a confused puppy. “Hey, isn’t this Hyung’s jacket? The one we brought him last night? Why do you have it?”

           “Suga let me borrow it since mine got ruined. He said I can have it until I find another.”

           Taehyung looked stunned. “Wow, that’s really something. This is Suga-hyung’s favorite jacket. He never lets anyone have it. Not even me when I was lonely and wanted it for comfort when he was away on a long mission. And I can make Suga-hyung do anything I want with a pout and some big eyes. And I mean anything. So, you must be something really special.”

           Or he feels really guilty and obligated, that sour voice in the back of your mind said, because what’s so special? But if this was as special to him as Taehyung suggested, so much that he wouldn’t let someone he was close to have it, it could be something. If he was just guilty, could he just have given you an advance to buy one? Knowing it was his favorite that he was willing to part with for an undetermined amount of time made the gesture all the more intense. Enough to silence that wicked voice. You felt like you should do something as a thank you, you just couldn't think of what.

           Taehyung could practically see the wheels in your head turning and gave you a pat on the shoulder. “We can go whenever you’re ready. It’s still early but the traffic might be a bit rough. But it should give you enough time to mentally prepare yourself. Suga-hyung is not a morning person on a normal day. I’ll do my best to deflect all his grouchiness. But best to prepare.”

           Morning person? “Tae, does Suga like coffee?”

                                                              ***********

           Driving with Taehyung was quite relaxing. He led you to a sleek silver car, which he started remotely from the elevator so it would be nice and warm when you got there. It made you wish you could afford a car like this. Of course, they were paying you above what you had been, but you really didn’t want to spend all before it was in your bank account. As Taehyung pulled onto the street, he settled on a jazz station as the background music for your morning commute. He seemed determined to keep you calm and smiling. He reminded you of Amber; he wanted to be close friends once he deemed someone worthy of that title. Now, whether that was because he really wanted to or out of the obligation from the life debt, you would find out. But you could really use another friend after all this, so you tried not to over think it. He kept switching between crooning along with the song playing, to making funny comments of things you passed by.

           The car drove past an old building that was covered in graffiti on the way to the coffee shop you had asked him to stop by. And he told you about where his name ‘V’ had come from. He told you that he spent a lot of time on the street and started getting close to many different people there. But the one he really was drawn to was some of the graffiti artist because he had always loved art. He worked hard on his tags and pieces, to the point where some people thought he was crazy. And the police would call him ‘Van Gogh’ whenever they caught him and threw him in the detention center. From there, he decided to combine the first part of his and his favorite painter’s name to create ‘Vante’. And when he decided to join Bangtan, he shortened to ‘V’, since he was moving on to a new life. You wanted to ask why he would join a gang in the first place, try to figure out what was so enticing about a life of crime, drugs, and danger, but he had pulled up to the coffee shop and had your door open.

           Inside, he turned into the obnoxious brother you didn’t realize you had commandeered. When you tried to hand the cashier your card, he snatched it from you and tried to use his. You tried to push him, snatch his card away, but he just remained unmoved with that Cheshire grin. The whole antic made you laugh as he remained unmoved when you tried wedging yourself in front of him. He, finally, relented when you pinched him in the side and hip-checked him unexpectedly, swiping your card before he could recover.

           “Playing unfair, Precious,” he crooned, trying out a nickname but not really pleased with it. “I like that side of you.”

           You rolled your eyes at him and gathered your order. You had a chai tea with honey, an Americano for Suga, and a hot chocolate for Tae. You followed him back to the car and made it to the hospital in record time to still be considered early. Tae parked the car and made sure the coast was clear before he allowed you to exit. You saw the shift in his posture as he scanned the area and took in every detail. He put his arm around your shoulders as he led you into the building. As you two made your way through the hall and towards the elevator, you caught a glimpse of Doctor Na at one of the desks. It still stung seeing how he watched after you. He looked like he wanted to say something to you, maybe explain himself. But when he saw Taehyung’s arm around you, he shrunk back down for now. You weren’t entirely sure if you wanted to hear anything he had to say. Just the fact that he had U4-1A was enough to want to keep your distance. Yet there was still that pull deep beyond your stubbornness that made you want to see what he wanted to say. It’s like when you first left your ex and had the urge to go back to him. Amber had to lock all the doors and sit in front of them for the first week when you kept trying to go back. It was all because you got attached too quickly, wasn’t it? It was pathetic.

           Taehyung bounded into the secure ward and into the room before you. Suga was upright in bed, a new hoodie draped over his shoulders. A computer was open in front of him and he seemed to be engrossed in whatever it was. Jimin was on the couch, looking like he had a rough night there. Taehyung gave a loud greeting to Suga, who grimaced at him in a way that Tae seemed to accept as normal and made his way over to the couch. Jimin was half awake as the taller sat next to him, running his hands through his hair. Jimin reached over and grabbed the cup from Taehyung’s hand and took a gulp, grimacing that it wasn’t what he had expected.

           “Morning, Y/N,” Jimin groaned, throwing you a smile despite how his morning seemed to be fairing. “You look better this morning. I hope Tae was on his best behavior.”

           “He was very polite. Are you okay? I didn’t realize you’d still be here, or I would have gotten you something.”

           “It’s okay, don’t worry about me. I was just waiting for Taehyung to come relieve me. I’ll stop on my way home and pick something up for everyone else. But you can get me the next time,” he said with a wink.

           Taehyung put his arm around Jimin as he guided him up and out of the room, saying he was going to take Jimin to the cafeteria before making sure he left all right. And they left you alone with Suga. Apart from the grunt he had given Taehyung, he hadn’t really acknowledged you yet. He just kept tapping away at his computer. You sighed, not sure what you were expecting. You made your way over to the couch and dropped your bag off and then returned to the bed side.

           “Good morning, Suga,” you tried to sound as pleasant as your training taught you, despite how unsure you felt. “How are you doing this morning? Any pain?”

           He grunted and shrugged his good shoulder. And nothing else. You knew Taehyung had said he wasn’t a morning person, but you weren’t expecting to be ignored.

           You tried again. “Is your shoulder bothering you? On a scale of one to ten, how is it this morning compared to yesterday?”

           Again, no response except for the tapping of keys on the keyboard. You sighed. If this was going to be how it was for however long you had signed your life away for, this was going to be hell. You remembered yesterday, you had to get a bit sterner to get him to respond. So, you reached over and closed his laptop. His eyes raised to yours, almost like he hadn’t realized you were there. His features softened for a moment as he took you in, before sagging back against the bed in a defeated resignation.

           “Let’s try that again to start on a better note. How are you feeling? It’s about time for your medications. So, how is the pain?”

           “It’s there,” he mumbled. “Shoulder hurts when I try to sit up on my own. And my side feels like a seven on the pain scale.”

           “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Once breakfast is delivered to the floor and you eat something, I’ll give you your dosage. A full dose if that’s okay with you now that the others are here. It’s best not to take them on an empty stomach. Here, you can start with this. Taehyung said it was your favorite.”

           You held out the coffee for him. You could see the want in his eyes, like you were offering him the holy grail. But he hesitated for a moment, like he was debating.

           “Am I allowed caffeine,” he asked in a droning way.

           “As your medical care worker, I think you’ll be fine. Plus, Tae thinks you’ll be in a better mood for it. This is my thanks for letting me borrow your jacket.”

           “You didn’t have to do that. I’m the reason you don’t have one. The last thing you need to be doing is spending money on me.” He saw your posture deflate and something in him hated it. He reached out and took the cup from you, fingers brushing against yours. “You look a lot warmer than last night. Is it ok?”

           “Yes,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself, “it’s very warm. Much warmer than my other one. But I promise, I won’t keep it for too long. Taehyung told me it’s your favorite.”

           “Taehyung talks too much. Don’t worry about it. You hang onto it for however long you need. Thanks for the coffee.”

           You smiled at him, noticing how he averted your gaze. “Well, once I get my next paycheck, I’ll get a new coat and return it. What are you working on, by the way? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

           “If I tell you, I’d have to kill you.” You choked on your tea. “I’m kidding. I’m not as good at jokes as the others are. I was just checking surveillance for the Magic Shop, and a few other places of interest. It’s the least I can do since I’m out of commission for a while. I just need to make sure everyone is safe.”

           “You really care about your friends. It’s so interesting to see since all the stories say you guys are ruthless. But, I think they’ll understand if you take a break for a while. The more you can just rest, the fast you can get back to them.”

           “If I take a break, someone could die,” he said a bit too sternly. “This isn’t like some corporate job.”

           “I didn’t mean it like that. But you should really take a break.”

           “You wouldn’t understand.” But he didn’t open the laptop again, so you counted that as a win for the moment.

           Trying not to push him so much in the morning, you let the conversation drop. Clearly, you wouldn’t understand. You weren’t a gangster. How could you possibly know? You just sipped on your drink. By the time that Taehyung had returned to the room after doing a walk around with Jimin, you got the notification that breakfast had been delivered to the floor. You brought it back to the room with a little extra for Taehyung and you to snack on if you got hungry. The younger had noticed the odd silence in the room and must have said something to Suga because when you brought the food in, he thanked you and seemed to be trying not to sound as grouchy as he had been earlier. Tae had helped his hyung finish his food so you could get started with his treatments. Once you had finished with his morning medications and all were finished, Suga fell into a drowsy state for a bit. Taehyung took it upon himself to keep you entertained. After a few hours, when Suga woke up, he started messing with his phone instead of conversing much with the two of you. At one point, it seemed like he and Tae started texting each other about something, based on how they would look over in your direction. You tried not to take it too personally; it must have been a work thing that you had no business being a part of. You settled into a crossword from your bag just in time for Doctor Na to enter.

           You caught his eyes again as he froze in the doorway. All those feelings started to choke you and you just couldn't look at him. It took everything not to run from the room because you were not ready to be in the same place as him, not yet. Not ready to hear what he wanted to say. You just cast your eyes down and listened as he worked. Thankfully, Doctor Na was as professional and quick as he always was. He gave you some instructions and told you that it was time to clean the dressings. You gave a curt nod. He asked to speak to you later. While you really wanted to tell him off, you just nodded again.

           Suga watched the exchange between you two, taking in every detail. The day before, your face lit up when you had mentioned the doctor. You spoke so highly of him. Now, the tension was so palpable. Though, he had a feeling what it was about based on your outburst last night. Namjoon had sworn he was discreet when he had given the good doctor his first installment of their payment. He felt sorry for you, seeing how broken you seemed to be at the mere sight of him. But it was part of the game you had put yourself in. As Doctor Na exited the room, Suga whispered some instructions to Taehyung and watched as the younger left the room, following behind the doctor. Once the two of you were left in the room, he could feel his awkwardness start to overtake him. He wasn’t sure what to say to you. Seemed like each time he opened his mouth, he said something to offend you or off putting. He wasn’t good at being so openly friendly as Taehyung was or instantly charming as Jin. He had come to peace with that and used the others to lead this kind of interaction. But there was something different about this time. He felt like he needed to be the one to step up and try to be nice to you. It was the very least he could do. But each statement he tried to form, it just felt so wrong.

           As you stood up and made your way to the supply drawers to get what you needed, Yoongi sunk a bit lower. Why did he feel so shy and nervous suddenly? All that was going to happen was you were going to change the dressings on his wounds. It was something he had been through before. But it was normally Jin who did all the medical care for them. It had been years since he had been in such a vulnerable position with someone new. But why was he getting all nervous? You were a medical professional. This was your job. But the thought didn’t smother the heat that was rushing into his cheeks. He was so lost that he jumped when he felt your hand on his jacket. He watched you freeze with a look that mirrored his own: confusion, embarrassment, and uncertainty.

           “I’m sorry,” you said, a hopelessness slipping across your features that made him ache in a way he couldn’t explain. “Let’s just get this over with and I’ll get out of here. I understand you don’t want me hanging around. I’ll try to make it as fast as I can. Unless, you want me to ask Doctor Na to do this instead. We can’t really ask anyone else but maybe he can. I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

           The stoic mask of Suga took its place before he could act on his feelings. “You didn’t. I just wasn’t paying attention. And you don’t have to go. Unless you want to.”

           “Are you sure? You don’t seem as open to me as Taehyung is.” He saw your shoulder drop down as the hopelessness diminished.

           “Well, Taehyung is like a puppy; the second he finds something of interest, he attaches himself to it. I don’t take to new things quickly.”

           “So, I’m a thing?”

           “What- No. I don’t… Look, can we just move on? Or I may change my mind about you leaving.”

           You let a small smile creep across your lips as you watched him try to curl in on himself like an embarrassed child. All of them at one point had said that Suga was a softie under all the barbed wire. While you weren’t sure you believed them just yet, there were still signs that you could focus on. True to your word, you tried to make quick but effective work to make it less awkward for him. You eased the jacket off his shoulders and folded it nicely at the end of the bed. When you started undoing the patient’s shirt, you tried not to notice the way he tried to look at anything but you, or how he bit his lip, or how stiff he sat. His pale skin was covered in bruises and thick bandages. Ever the professional, you set to work on his side wound first, stripping the bandages and cleaning around the stitches. Suga did his best not to flinch with every touch. Once you had rewrapped his side, taking extreme care, you gave him a moment to breathe. The shoulder was going to be the worst. Once he gave you the okay, you started. It was harder for him to hide the pain as you worked. Compared to other gunshot wounds you had seen, Doctor Na did an exceptional job. But you wouldn’t have expected any less. It would heal in record time, as long as you did your job and Suga did as he was told.

           Once you had finished cleaning the wound, you made sure to add some pain medication to the IV. As you came back to start redressing his shoulder, you thought you would try to distract him from the pain and any residual embarrassment he may be holding. “Can I ask you a question?”

           “You didn’t ask permission before,” he said, voice worn from his internal struggle.

           “Well, I guess I’m just curious. After last night with Jin and Jungkook, and this morning with Taehyung, I’m confused about all of you. You seem like nice guys, normal guys. But the paper and news all say you do these horrible things. I’ve heard nurses talk about their patients and what Bangtan has done to them. You’re written as these horrendous warlords, yet you don’t seem like it. I mean, J-Hope looked really scary last night when he stopped Choi. I don’t know what to believe.”

           “We do what we have to do. Sometimes, that means hurting people. Sometimes we are monsters. Doesn’t mean we are like that all the time. Good people see the good side, bad see the bad. I think that’s pretty obvious. We don’t want to hurt you; we owe you for what you did. Of course, we are going to be on our best behavior. There’s no true side, they are all the same.”

           Somehow that doesn’t help me, you grumbled as you continued to wrap the gauze around this shoulder and neck with slow and deliberate moves to make sure it held. “When Choi first came to the hospital, he said some things to RM that made it seem like you had worked with him before.”

           Suga’s guard started to rise up again at the mention of Choi. There were a lot of painful memories that pushed against the wall he had created over the years. Memories of being dragged away from home when he was barely in high school, memories of being beaten within an inch of his life for mouthing off or trying to protect someone, memories of being locked in a dark, cold place to die for disobeying an order. He clenched the sheets in his good hand and bit the inside of his cheek.

           “RM and I were part of his initiate ranks a long time ago,” he answered through grinding teeth.

           “Why? You know what he does. Why would you choose to work for that guy? Why would you choose to be a gang member?”

           “Choose? You think I chose this life? You honestly think I woke up one day and decided to pick up a gun and shoot people?”

           “Then, how did you get wrapped up with him?

           Eomma, please, don’t do this! Appa, you can’t! “Not all of us get a choice in this life. You have to survive.”

           “You were forced to?” Suga didn’t answer. His expression was darker than before, but you couldn’t help but continue to push. “So, did you force the rest of them to join you?”

           “Of course not! Do they look like I forced them? They got what I didn’t have; a choice. They chose to stand with us because they had a similar goal. To rid the world of those assholes.”

           “Why didn’t you try and get help? Go to the police?”

           Suga let out a laugh. It startled you. His laugh was dark and cold. “Oh, that’s rich. Like the police would do anything.”

           “That’s their job..”

           “Let me let you in on how the world works. Everyone can be bought. Especially the police. You notice how no police came after the gun fight to talk to you? Or how there’s no report about it in the news? RM and Jin flashed enough cash and made it all disappear. The Royals in their high days had enough money to buy all of Europe. They had the police in their back pocket. All police are corrupt pigs, so easy to sway under our influence. Just as easy as it was to buy your doctor friend’s assistance. He’s already asking for his next installment. Taehyung’s hooking him up right now. He used it faster than I thought. Speaking of him, you don’t seem as happy to see him as you did. Yesterday you lit up every time you talked about him. And today, I could cut the tension with a knife. Maybe you’re mad he’s swayed.”

           Your hands were shaking. You saw RM give Henry U4-1A in the hall last night. Had he really used it all? Had Taehyung had the drug on him all day, when he picked you up this morning? When he was playing all nice. Suga’s words were ringing in your ears about swaying the police. Sure, there were always some bad cops in the mix but not all. But there was no report when you looked it up on your phone this morning or in the newspaper you had read. And there had been no investigation since that morning. But you thought of your father and how much good he tried to do. That couldn’t be true.

           “You’re wrong! There are still good cops out there. Like my father was. He could have done something. The police would have helped you, got you out of there-”

           “Every man can be bought, has their vice. Your dear daddy isn’t immune. It would take some time but I could find it. Women, money, a shot of whiskey. And he’d be just as corrupt and pathetic as every other shit cop I came across- Fucking shit!”

           You pressed your palm against the bandaged wound and pushed hard enough to shut him up. He growled as he turned his eyes to you only to be met with the same fire that he gave you. Your eyes watered with tears of frustration and anger. You gave him another shove, not hard enough to damage his shoulder or the work put into it, but enough to hurt. You two stared at each other in a tense lock down. You didn’t care how nice they had been to you thus far. He had just proven how vicious he could be and you couldn’t handle it when he said those things. You didn’t care who or what he was, he wasn’t going to say those things about someone you held so dear. You may be stuck with him for however long this contract is. But you were not going to let this slide.

           “You will not disrespect my father that way,” you said, your voice trembling with rage. “My father was a great police officer and an even better father. I may not remember a lot about a lot of things, but I know he would never let someone buy him like what you say. He fought against bullies like that all his career. And he taught me how to stand up against corrupt people like that. If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be here. I’m sorry if you had no choice or had no one was there for you. I’m sorry that all people in your eyes are terrible people. But we are all not like that. Not all of us want something from you. I don’t care about what you have or how much money you can give me, it won’t change anything I do. You can say anything you want about how dumb I am for helping you or whatever else. But you will not disrespect my father like that again. I may have to work for you until this debt is solved, but I do not have to put up with your bullshit or your attitude.” With that, you all but ripped the gloves from your hands and threw them into the trash as you stormed out of the room.

           You spotted Tae making his way back towards the rooms, hands in his pockets and pleased to see you as he had earlier. And that just fueled your anger even more as Suga’s words continued to ring in your ears. Taehyung’s smile faltered when he got closer and saw the state you were in.

           “Y/N, what happened? Did Suga-hyung say something?”

           But you refused to answer him, barely holding your emotions together as tears started to spill down your cheeks. Taehyung reached out to wipe them, but you pushed his hand away from you. Part of you wanted to ask him if he had drugs on him when he picked you up or if Suga had been telling the truth. But the distrust Suga’s words had planted made you realize that Taehyung would most likely lie if he wanted to protect the image he wanted you to see. You just couldn’t handle that right now. You shook your head and pushed past him out of the hallway. You just wanted to run, but that didn’t go so well last time. You needed to be alone. You took the stairs down towards the locker room to try to avoid people. You thought of trying to find Amber and just let yourself feel safe in her presence. But then, she would want to know what was going on and would want to confront the problem. And you couldn’t get her involved in this gang and drug nonsense. It wouldn’t be fair to drag any other innocent person into it. Maybe once you could control yourself, could hide it better, you could find her and distract yourself from coming back to the room until it was absolutely necessary. In the stairwell, you heard someone coming up and tried to even out your breathing so as not to raise questions. You wiped your face on the sleeve of the jacket that had once brought you some comfort. How could he be kind one moment then turn so horrid? Well, so did Daniel. You had to be cursed. A part of you wanted to rip it from your body and rip it the same way his words had done to you. But you couldn’t.

           “Y/N?” You looked up to see Henry a few stairs below you. Shit, could this get any worse? “Is everything going alright? You look stressed out.”

           “Is that a surprise when I’m working for one of the most notorious Mafia families?” You couldn’t hide the bite behind your words.

           “I’m sorry you have to go through this. I don’t know what I can do to help you. Maybe I can try to talk to them for you?”

           “Don’t bother. I got myself into this mess. I’ll deal with it as much as I can. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” you started to walk around him, but Henry reached out and took your hand.

           “Y/N, please, can we just talk?”

           “What is there to talk about? I did as you asked. I did my job and now I need some time alone. What could you possibly want to talk about? About what I saw last night? I think I made my opinion on that very clear.”

           “I know you did. I wish you had never seen that.”

           “That’s what you’re sorry for? That I saw it? That way you could just go around like nothing was wrong? I don’t like liars.”

           “It’s a complicated thing, Y/N. I couldn’t say anything. I can’t. Maybe one day I can make you understand.”

           “Fine, since you want to talk about this, let me ask you this. Did you already go through the first one?”

           “Y/N, please…”

           “Did they just give you more because you used it already?!”

           “Not so loud, please.”

           “You’re not denying it.”

           “Because I can’t. But I can explain it. Just not now.”

           “Unbelievable,” you muttered under your breath as you pulled away from him. “I already told you, I will not tell anyone. But you will leave me alone. I will work with you, but that’s all.”

           He looked so defeated, bloodshot eyes downcast. It not only hurt to see but, also, fueled the anger. He could have defended himself. Said he threw it away or turned it in. Anything. And maybe it would have been easy to work through it. But he didn’t. And that was enough proof for you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be happy with someone. The intrusive thoughts were coming back.

           You made it down five steps before Henry called out to you again. “Y/N, I really am sorry. I hope one day you’ll believe me. But here, take this.”

           You turned back around and saw him holding out a familiar bottle. It was your medication you had given to him to see if he could identify it. There was one pill left inside. There was a small part of you that wanted to reach out for it and swallow the pill as fast as possible to make all these feelings go away. But you didn’t want to resort to that. You moved just close enough to grab it from him and stuff it into the pocket of your scrubs.

           “This is what I wanted to talk to you about,” he continued. “I asked my friend down in the pharmacy to see what he could find out. He couldn’t find anything in any of his archives that looks like it. He even took one of them under a microscope and couldn’t figure it out. I’m really sorry. It’s either something really new that we don’t know about yet or it may be from a natural shop. But we couldn’t figure it out. Have you been using the other stuff I was able to prescribe for you? If you need, I can ask someone from the psych department to come talk to you and maybe they can help.”

           “I can manage for now,” you said as you turned back to continue down the stairs. “Thank you for trying, Henry.”

           For the rest of the day, you tried to stay as far away from the restricted floor as possible. Taehyung had tried to text you a few times, either trying to check on you or to apologize for Suga. You told him you were okay and just wanted some space. He made you send a picture of where you were, so he was sure you hadn’t tried to run away again. So, he got an awkward selfie of you in one of the locker room changing stalls. Eventually, Amber found you hiding in there and brought you to the cafeteria for her lunch break. She tried to ask what was happening, but you just said you needed some space from your new patient. She tried to push further but your body language made it clear you didn’t want to really talk about work. She ended up telling you about her night; Chris and her met after her shift for some drinks before she went home and tried to challenge Seagull-eye97 to another round in their game, but he hadn’t logged on since their last round. She offered a good distraction until you had no choice but to return to the room for the afternoon round of medication.

           When you entered the room, Taehyung looked happy to see your return. Suga, on the other hand, tried not to look at you. He didn’t seem angry like he was earlier. His eyes stayed keen on the bed sheets, like a child who had been scolded. Somehow, that only made you angrier. You set to your duties without a word. It was the same when you gave him his evening medications and brought in dinner. Afterwards, you sat in the far corner of the room, trying your best to ignore the imploring whispers of Taehyung to Suga to do something. But it fell on deaf ears. Near the end of your shift, Seokjin had arrived to watch over Suga for the night. He could feel tension as he entered the room and he zeroed in on Suga as if he knew exactly where it had come from. He didn’t try to pull you out of your feelings or try to justify whatever he thought Suga had said. He simply walked over to you, gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder before making himself comfortable in the armchair closest to Suga, where he fixed him with a stare that made Taehyung very uncomfortable. The younger held out his hand for your bag as he ushered you out, bidding his hyung good luck, though which one he was talking to, you weren’t sure.

            The ride home was very uncomfortable, quite the difference from this morning. You could feel Taehyung’s eyes on you throughout the drive. Like he was debating on what to say to you but couldn’t find the correct words. You hated this. You wished you could let your frustration and hate stay with one person, let the feeling of friendship you had felt the morning with Taehyung wash over you and have a good night, maybe talk through what you had felt and let him tell you whatever he thought you wanted to hear. But then you remembered that through the entire morning he was with you, when he play-fought you in the coffee shop, when he told you all those funny things, when he was acting like a friend, he was carrying the most dangerous drug in the city in his pockets with plans to distribute it.

           “Y/N,” Taehyung hesitated, “I’m sorry for what hyung said to you. I don’t know what he said but it must have been bad enough to make you feel like this. I’m not excusing it. But I know why he does that. He can be more bark than bite. I promise he’s not a bad guy.”

           “No, he just reminded me that I can’t forget what you are. You’re all still dangerous mafia lords, no matter how nice you try to sell yourself to me. I need to remember that you are not trying to be my friends.”

           Taehyung sighed. “One step forward, two steps backwards,” he said to himself. He pulled the car into the parking lot and turned to you when he had shut off the engine. “Please, Y/N, I’m not trying to trick you when I’m being friendly with you. Being a mafia lord is what I do, it’s not who I am.”

           “Yet you carry U4-1A around with you? Suga told me you had it. He told me you gave it to Henry. I guess you guys are so numb that you don’t realize how much the drug destroys people. And all you’re worried about is the money and power you gain from it. But I just had a steady constant in my fragile life ripped from me and exposed. If you honestly want to be my friend, don’t have it near me. I will do my job and whatever you want, just don’t carry it around me. I don’t want to see it or hear about it. I will forgo anything you think you want to give me if you can do that,” you pleaded, your voice cracking under the surge of raw emotion again. You slid out of the car and slammed the door behind you.

           Taehyung was right behind you as you rushed into the elevator. He pressed the button as you tried to hide in the corner, not wanting anyone to see you fall apart. “I’m sorry you feel that way. But trust me, we are aware of what U4-1A does. We’ve seen the hurt it causes, the damage that it does to the victim and those who care about them. If anyone knows the horrors of those screams, the cries, the begging to put it to an end, it’s us. So please, don’t think that we don’t know about it. Look, I’ll try to talk to the others if that will make you feel more comfortable. I’ll do my best to keep it separate from you. Believe me. I’m sorry you have to go through this. But we still have a job to do, outside of making sure that everyone is safe. Is there anything I can do right now that will make you trust me like you did this morning?”

           You shrugged your shoulders. “I just want to be alone. But you can’t leave me alone.”

           Taehyung reached over as the elevator stopped on your floor and turned you to look at him. He ran his thumb over your cheek, wiping the stray tears that fell. “I can’t leave you alone,” he repeated, softly. “But I can give you some space. I can monitor the cameras if that’s what you want. You tell me what you want.”

           If you were being honest with yourself, him asking you what you wanted did more than he probably thought. You wanted your space to work through this terrible day. And he was giving you control of the situation. It was nice to have that. You walked him to the door before voicing your desire to be alone. You allowed him to enter to double check the place before deeming it safe for the night. You allowed him to stay for a quiet dinner of leftovers from the other night before you retired to your bedroom, and he went back downstairs. Your phone buzzed with text messages from Amber asking if you were going to be okay, Taehyung apologizing again and letting you know that he was going to be downstairs in case you needed him, and one from Jin telling you Suga was being an asshole and how proud he was of you standing up to him. It seemed like they did care about your wellbeing as much as Amber did. If it was a job, they wouldn’t be telling you how proud they were of you punishing their member. That, and the fact that Taehyung had let you tell him to go, set you back on the seesaw of figuring them out again. Tae wasn’t wrong when he said, ‘one step forward, two backwards.’ But after a long cry session in the shower and a night of overthinking, you fell asleep still wrapped in Suga’s jacket. That morning, while your anger towards Suga and his words were still evident, you weren’t mad at Taehyung or any of the others. Yes, they were mafia lords and dangerous gang members, as well as passing out drugs and doing whatever else they did. But, as the text Taehyung had left you that morning, he had talked to the others, and they would do their best in keeping that part of their job away from you.

           Over the next few days, you were picked up by either Taehyung or Jimin. Taehyung must have said something because Jimin wasn’t as intense as he had been towards you. Instead, he was like Taehyung in the way that he tried to be as friendly to you as he deemed possible. You fell into a nice routine of meeting them in your living room before being led to one of their many cars, according to Jimin. They stopped at your favorite coffee shop, still tried to fight you on paying for them, before heading to the hospital. You still said nothing to Suga, who didn’t seem surprised by that. Though after the second day, you noticed his eyes following you as you moved around the room. His eyes weren’t narrowed in annoyance or anger as they had been before. This time, they were uncertain and large, face drawn in an understanding like a child who knew they had done something wrong and were waiting for a punishment. But whenever you tried to catch his stare, he looked away. You didn’t leave the room as often as you had, allowing Taehyung and Jimin to lead you in conversation or even into a few games to pass the time. Suga didn’t join in the conversation, staying quiet as he watched the interaction. He watched your reactions, the way you still had some sadness behind the forced smile. The knowledge that he had been some cause of that was enough for him to mull over.

           On the third day, when you had gone to change the bandages on his shoulder, he flinched away from you, the memory of what you had done resurfacing. He hadn’t meant to. Maybe it was the worry that you were still mad, or the guilt of knowing that he probably deserved it. He caught your eyes, seeing the guilt overtake them. And that seemed to affect him harder than he thought. Jimin, silently, watched the exchange from the side. He had heard from Taehyung and Jin about what had happened between the two of you. While he didn’t like what Suga had said, he knew from experience how his Suga-hyung says things he didn’t mean when stressed out. They had all been on the receiving end of his anger in the early years. But his hyung always would realize his mistake and find a way to apologize. And he was surprised when Jin had told them how you had stood up to him. He didn’t think you had it in you. Though he supposed he shouldn’t doubt you after all you had been through.

           “I won’t hurt you again,” you said, bowing your head. “I lost my temper. But that was unprofessional of me. I’m sorry. At least let me show Jimin how to do this properly and you won’t have to have me do this.”

           “You were really mad,” Suga stated, eyes anywhere else but you.

           “I was. I shouldn’t have let myself, but you said some hurtful things. I shouldn’t have pried.”

           “No, you didn’t deserve that. I couldn’t control myself and let out all my anger on you. You did want you needed to get me to stop. You don’t need to apologize to me.”

           “Hyung,” Jimin called from the side. “I haven’t heard you say two very important words yet.”

           If looks could kill, the one Suga threw towards Jimin would have had him on life support as the elder’s ears glowed red with the embarrassment Jimin had intended him to feel. The other just smiled back with a pointed look.

           “It’s okay,” you tried to ease the tension, “I don’t really need-..”

           “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. But then he turned back to you and looked you in the eyes. “I’m sorry for what I said.”

           After that, the tension seemed to leave the room. He allowed you to change the bandages, face still glowing with awkwardness as you removed his top to change the dressings. Jimin tried to commit the face to memory, having not witnessed his hyung act so awkward in many years. After you had redressed him, you started trying some exercises that his body would allow. Jimin took many mental notes for when Suga was released, and you were no longer. Though he hoped you would be around a bit longer; he was enjoying your presence, even without embarrassing his hyung. After you had finished, he led you from the room to let Suga get some rest. Jimin opted to walk you around, just having a pleasant conversation and doing anything to make you smile. When Taehyung had returned and said how much better you had responded to him when he wasn’t trying to be flirty, Jimin took that seriously. Despite how much he enjoyed seeing you blush, he didn’t want to scare you away. Now, as he sat with you at a table in the cafeteria, he did what he could to get to know you better. And that was nice for the moment.

           On the fourth day, Seokjin picked you up to go to the hospital. He dropped you off and mentioned that he had to take J-Hope, who had stayed that night, to an important meeting. He assured you that while one of them would be there later, he had quite a few men posted around the hospital. He took you up to the door before turning away with Hobi following quickly behind. Something in Jin’s tone made it seem like there was something he wasn’t telling you. And the smile on J-Hope’s face made you worry there was something up. But Taehyung had promised you that they would do their best to not mention the dark side of work. You shrugged and went inside the room. Suga was already awake and glanced up at you when you entered. He wasn’t ignoring your existence as he had been, even tried to hold a very small conversation once and a while. But you still couldn’t read his expression like the others. Everything seemed to be as it was before. So, Jin and Hobi still confused you.

           “That’s for you,” Suga said suddenly, checking you off guard. You followed his gaze to a wrapped box sitting in the spot you normally occupied. It was a sleek white box with an elaborate bow on top. You threw him a suspicious look. “Just open it.”

           You couldn’t help but laugh at his exasperated tone as you walked over to the box. There was a logo stamped on the box that you recognized as a very expensive and high-end label. You pulled the ribbon apart and took the top off. Inside was a beautiful winter coat, in the most beautiful shade of purple. The material was so soft, and you were, almost, too scared to touch it. This coat must have cost a fortune.

           “Consider that a small token of my appreciation for all you have done for me. Try it on.” You slipped Suga’s jacket from your shoulders and pulled on your new coat. It felt like heaven. It was definitely something you could never buy for yourself. You looked back at him with a large smile on your face. “I know you said you would find something, but I thought you would like it. It’s the least I could do after ruining yours. Taehyung helped me pick out the color the other day. He thought you would look good in purple.”

           “And what did you think I’d look good in?”

           “Nothing – I mean, anything!”

           You smiled, not paying much attention to his little slip, not catching or digging too far into what it meant. Maybe this was why J-Hope and Jin left so strangely, they knew what he was doing and wanted to give him space to do it away from judging eyes. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much. It must have cost so much.”

           “Money isn’t an option. I just wanted to say thank you for risking your life for me. And I’m sorry for what happened the other day.”

           “I suppose you want your jacket back. At least let me wash it.”

           “No, you can keep it. I said you can have it as long as you need it.”

           That was unexpected to you, recalling how much Taehyung told you Suga loved his jacket. But you were completely grateful. You hugged the fabric around your body, losing yourself in the feel for a moment more, before you took the purple coat off and placed it back in the box until you were done working. And pulled Suga’s back on. You couldn’t help but feel happy that he was letting you keep it. It had brought you some comfort and nightmare-less sleep over the last few days. You sat on the edge of the bed.

           “You confuse me. One minute you’re shutting me out, then you’re wary of me like I’m going to do something, then vicious, then this? Every time I think I’ve figured any of you out, you pull the rug out from under me.”

           “I didn’t mean to be vicious. It wasn’t my intention. Trust me, the guys let me know how I behaved. They seem to like you. And I don’t think you’re dumb or annoying. It’s been a while since we had anyone normal in our world. I’ll try to do better.”

           “Thank you, Suga. For everything.”

           “Yoongi. My name is Min Yoongi.”

[elphiej]

New Chapter Alert

At long last, I will be posting a new chapter of Be My Light tomorrow afternoon. I have received chapter 8 from my editor and am in the process of adjusting it. I am so sorry it took as long as it did. And I hope you enjoy it. See you all tomorrow!!! 

[elphiej]

UPDATE:

My readers! I am so sorry for this delay. It wasn't my intention to go this long. I know I say that alot, and there are many of you who have still backed me even when it takes this long. For that, I am forever grateful. I can't pinpoint what about this chapter fought me. I also got a promotion at work and it was my birthday this past week so my time schedule has been all over the place. At this moment, I have sent the chapter to my editor. And once they are done, I will fix it and post it ASAP! As always I will update you all when I am about to drop chapter 8

[elphiej]

Hey there!

Are you still planning to continue with Be My Light series?

(I'm sorry I've just been waiting for far too long and I can't wait anymore, ughhhhhh, sorry in a million languages)

Hey Anon,

Yes I am still working on Be My Light. I've been having a difficult time over the last few weeks. But I am still working on it. My editor has been helping me get things written and helping me plan it out. And I am reworking a part at this very moment. Trust me, I know you all have been waiting and you all very patient and it been on my mine of how long it has been. I've been waiting just as long as you have and its hurting that it's been as long as it has been. All I can say is I hope you will continue to patient and understanding.