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[elutsodi]

idk man it's just gonna be a shitpost account w my thoughts that's it

[elutsodi]

my translation of a viedo essay about humans ego

humans ego is a tool for us to survive which divides outside world from inside world  and u cant live without it. normal people can only experience  disappearance of ego for a short amount of time like when on drugs. some certain techniques can make ur ego borders thinner and some say that it feels fucking wonderful thats why they do it heres a short cartoon (with english subs !) that explains this experience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liXqrnAGraQ&t=0s.  if your ego is gone then u are probably mentally ill bcuz without that border ull start having constant  dissociations and derealizations and ur mind basically cant take it ur mental health will probably fade away with the sense of being a human. ego starts to appear when you're about three years old that's when u realise that ur mom is not u ur mom is ur mom and u is u and stuff like that. we can describe ego like a skin that helps our inner mental things to stay the way they are. but unlike our actual skin it can affect our thoughts, behaviour and reactions on things outside us (like other people environment etc.). and this can be a problem because our ego once again unlike our actual skin can deform while developing. for example if we try imagining a narcissists ego it'll be like a spiky outline of them, they are very defensive and can go overboard while standing up for their personal boundaries. and then he shows a couple more of examples but im too lazy to translate 

so yeah life without ego is impossible. we need some kind of shield from the outside world and other ppl. they only time we can put them down is around our loved ones and thats why in relationships our boundaries are kinda non-existing. now about other social situations. argument between two people is actually just their egos fighting and its really pointless the only thing u get in reward is self validation its only boosting our ego which in large amounts can be very bad. a good argument is more like a discussion where there is no winning side just opinions. most of the times when u are arguing ur ego is basically telling u smth like "u dumb fuck if we dont win this we are going to be the nastiest slugs in the universe and i don't like being humiliated  ".  in situations like this its best to tell yourself that u are not the smartest of all times and u cant be right all the time and that its totally ok to be like that. even if for example you are arguing in the presence of a person that u like and u dont wanna look lame its all your ego! its not your duty to incline other persons opinion because with existence of ego its only natural for people to have different povs. liberalism is also mostly about egoism. its all about what you can have. the problem of liberalism is that it can once again inflate ur ego so much that u dont take other people opinions properly, u believe that there can only be one true way of living ect. but the truth is there is no right and there is no wrong all people no matter how big their salary, house, car collection is big are all the same and there are no main characters. but ego is trying to tell us that we are one in a kind and that we are the main character which can be really problematic. envy is also a creation of ego.

when we see another human having something that we dont have it makes us want to take it from them. in terms of surviving its really nice but in modern society its something that is not good for us. when that happens its once again best tot step out of your ego for a sec and realise that some people are just better and certain things and its totally normal.

now the tough stuff

ego is also something that safes us from realisation  of universal void. the point of life. many people say that we create our meaning of life. but this is also our ego speaking. ego makes us think that all that happened in our lives is our path and that its not a coincidence. but its not like that. we are only a piece of sand in all the universe, which existed before us and will outlive us. ego helps us imagine a path of our lives but the truth is every path ends with death. there is no sense in giving life some kind of sense because it just happened and the only thing we can do about it is be happy. but in order to live happily people need an illusion of a working structure which we created. society that we created is all about giving life a working system in which we can dive into and pretend that our life has a meaning. if we actually think about certain things we would be terrified because all our surroundings are chaotic. that's why ego is trying to attach to something material and give us a feeling of smth meaningful. we need our life to make sense. buddhism says that the root of all the problems is attachment that creates ego. death. ego is very afraid of dying it wants us to live forever. ego wants to be there even after death, it wants other people to remember us. that's why many religions say stuff about reincarnations and life after death, to not feel scared of the fact that we live only once and there's no meaning for human to exist in the first place. that's why a lot of people with big egos are taking life too serious but the thing is as i already said we can only be happy that we get to live and all we can do is have fun while we can.