elyaasisthebest

[elyaasisthebest]

the fact that bruno has literally spent a decade parkouring over that gap in the floor without once thinking to check how deep it actually goes or even laying down a fucking plank to walk across is hysterical and just proves that his dumbassery is not entirely a product of his time living in the walls

[elyaasisthebest]

I'm kind of obsessed with the way sheep are handled. So efficiently. It always looks kind of unpleasant at first and then you notice the sheep are fine with it. They're always being flipped upside down and rolled down a chute or some shit. A shepherd will be tossing that thang in the air and spinning it like pizza dough & the sheep just lets it happen

[elyaasisthebest]

Fully wasn't expecting to see beauty and the beast discourse with colour coded charts today

Gaston deserved redemption tbh.

He had the same character flaws as Beast. In fact, the movie paints comparisons between them. The only two differences is that Beast was unpopular while Gaston wasn’t and that Belle was with Beast to reform him, while Gaston was surrounded by enablers like LeFou.

But the only reason why Belle was with Beast is that she couldn’t leave. So, in the end, Beast is rewarded with true love and his curse breaking for holding a woman hostage. While Gaston was rewarded with death because he never had the opportunities to change.

And really, the true villain of the story is the Enchantress who decided to curse an 11 year old orphan prince for not letting a strange woman into his house in the middle of the night.

[elyaasisthebest]

part of the reason I think it’s so sad that we collectively write so few stories about unrequited love is bc I feel like there’s very little public acknowledgment of how much it sucks to be the one somebody is in unrequited love with??? and not in a way of like, oh they’re crossing boundaries or putting expectations on me or whatever. becoming close friends with someone and then finding out they’re in love with you and you don’t love them back the same way is heartbreaking, bc a) someone you love is in pain and there is literally nothing you can do about it, and b) it usually means that whether you like it or not there’s going to be distance in your friendship that wasn’t there before as they try to get over you. idk man I just feel like we’ve all discussed the tragedy of loving someone who doesn’t love you back quite a lot and very rarely discuss the tragedy of finding out the way that you love someone just isn’t enough.

[elyaasisthebest]

Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

[elyaasisthebest]

if we could speak with lobsters and understand each other I think they might be able to share some really good wisdom as such a long-lived species.

but then I realized. the problem with such a plan

[elyaasisthebest]

This is so funny to me because I can only see Ragnor in his head going– I have been dragged into far too many Herondale-adjacent shenanigans by my Bestie to not recognize that face

exhibit 2 of kit being the most beautiful creature to ever walk this earth <3

he's just a pretty boy what can i say

[elyaasisthebest]

[elyaasisthebest]

Honestly, the thing that bothers me the VERY MOST in the Jane Austen or any classic lit fandom is when someone says, "I'm really struggling reading these novels, it seems like a different type of English, any tips?" And there are always a few comments like:

Austen is modern English

I read these books in high school

It's not that hard

Which I hate because

This is the internet. They may not be a native English speaker. They may be one of the dozens of people who don't live in the US!

Yes, Jane Austen uses modern English, but she has a massive vocabulary, some words she uses have meaning drift or are out of fashion, and having a knowledge of British history can really help in understanding her texts

This is not the time to brag about your reading level in high school, you pretentious, precocious, know-it-all, prick! If you actually want people to read the classics maybe try helping them instead of making them feel like idiots

Helpful things to say would be:

It is hard, though it tends to get better once you get used to her writing style

Try watching an adaptation first or using an audio book, which can help you follow the story

Feel free to ask for help if you have difficulty with a particular passage (and then don't be a dick about it)

Try Northanger Abbey first, the language there is a bit easier

Once I watched Reddit assist a reader all the way through Emma as they struggled with passages and it was beautiful! Please do not shame people for asking for help or struggling! The community will only get smaller. This is not the place to brag about your freaking reading level in your youth

[elyaasisthebest]

Collection

[elyaasisthebest]

No wait, random worldbuilding idea:

A people who have an age-old tradition, that when warriors left home to go to war, their family that remains home prepare funeral goods for them while they wait, sewing them the clothes and preparing the tools and all that they will be buried with - to emotionally prepare them to the hard possibility that the one who left will not return home alive. If the warrior returns, their burial goods are all burned in a bonfire that is lit for the celebration of their return.

And to this modern day, mothers of the culture will tell their children "fine, but let me take your measures for burial clothes before you go" as a way of telling them that something they're about to do is lethally stupid. Sharing stories about just how dramatic their mothers are, someone tells their group of friends that his mother once actually took out a measuring tape to start taking his measures when he said he's leaving home for a work trip.

And another one goes "pfft, yeah. This one time I went to a rock concert and came back home to mom sitting on her sewing machine, fucking making me a funeral coat."

[elyaasisthebest]

I have seen this before and I thought I knew where this was going. I thought wrong.

[elyaasisthebest]

this whole scene is so funny to me and has stayed rent free in my head since I read it the first time round

[elyaasisthebest]

Badass thai woman catching durian fruits being harvested

[elyaasisthebest]

“For the record, when I said I’m willing to learn more about downworld culture, this is not what I meant.”

Lily, who was sitting sideways on the loveseat gave him a glare. “Does he always complain this much during movie nights?”

“Always,” Magnus sighed. “But luckily I know how to shut him up.”

“Magnus,” he hissed, blushing furiously and then looked at Lily again. “How is this relevant to our work?”

“Twilight is a cultural reset for vampires, Alec,” Lily rolled her eyes.

“But it’s not even accurate representation,” Alec pointed out. “The vampires glisten in sunlight. They glisten!”

“Nobody is here for accurate representation,” Magnus replied. “And if you want New York vampires to glisten, I can help with that.”

“Magnus is right,” Maia agreed, her words barely recognizable due to all the popcorn crammed in her mouth. “I’m just here for Robert Pattinson.”

“You’re supporting the vampire?” Alec asked in disbelief. “But you are-”

“I’m a simple woman,” Maia shrugged.

“For the record, I hope everyone here is team Edward,” Lily said – or kind of threatened. “Or I will be having words!”

Alec rolled his eyes and continued watching the movie. They were on the third one now.

He never enjoyed watching mundane movies. He did watch them with Magnus of course, but that was mostly because they got to cuddle on the sofa and would always end up making out halfway through.

Besides, he had never done a movie night with friends before. He could barely get through one. This one apparently had four.

“We are done with the fourth one, right?” Alec whispered to Magnus.

“Well, technically the fourth one has two parts,” Magnus chuckled.

“What? Why can’t they just say what they want to say in one movie?”

Lily looked at him and narrowed her eyes. “Lightwood, if you don’t want to watch the movies, just say so. But be warned, the New York vampire clan might hold a grudge.”

“And they are immortal,” Maia pointed out unhelpfully.

Alec grumbled and laid back on the couch crossing his arms.

By the time they finished up the third one, Alec just wanted go to sleep. But he had promised Lily and they were kind of having fun.

Most nights with the downworld alliance involved strategic planning and heated debates and roundtable discussions. But Magnus had suggested that if Alec wanted to work with downworlders, he should understand them better.

Alec had a fairly decent understanding of warlocks and their lives. So, it was only fair that he learned about the other fractions as well.

He had spent the last week working with Maia’s pack and learning more about the Praetor and their work.

This week was supposed to be spent at Hotel Dumort. But unfortunately for him, Lily’s teaching methods were not conventional.

“You can get through this, darling,” Magnus kissed him the cheek. “The wedding is in this one.”

“They finally get married?” Alec asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. “How does Bella’s dad feel about this?”

“You will see soon enough,” Lily winked and pressed play.

“Did you force Raphael to watch these too?” Magnus asked, his voice melancholic but fond.

“No one can force Raphael to do anything,” Lily replied. “But he did watch them out of spite and claimed he is team Jacob just to piss off the clan.”

Magnus laughed, the sound vibrating in Alec’s heart. “That sounds like something he would do.”

Alright. It wasn’t that bad. Maybe they should make movie nights a weekly thing. As long as Simon didn’t know about it.

Lily’s phone rang and she picked up with a groan. “What did you do, Elliot?”

Someone, Elliot, was talking rapidly on the other side and Alec thought he heard the sound of dolphins.

“Hold on,” she snapped into her phone and got off the floor. She looked at Alec. “I’ll be back in a minute. Keep watching!”

Maia got up quickly, picking up the bowl of popcorn with her. “I’m gonna keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t throw her phone at a poor mundane again. But keep watching!”

Alec looked at them worried and then at Magnus. “Should we go help?”

“They will ask for help if they need it,” Magnus kissed his cheek again. “Just relax. And no, you are not getting out of this.”

Alec pouted but pulled Magnus closer against him and laid his head on the warlock’s shoulders. “It’s kinda pretty.”

“What is kinda pretty?”

“The wedding.”

“Hmmm,” Magnus said. “I’ve always thought forest weddings are a little tacky.”

“You wouldn’t get married in a forest?” Alec chuckled.

“Well, before Ragnor died, I wouldn’t have,” Magnus said, his tone a little nostalgic. “The bastard wouldn’t have attended and just said I didn’t notice because he camouflaged with the trees.”

Alec chuckled softly. “How about now?”

“What about now?”

“Where would you like to get married now?”

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