elysiansaysthings - Tumblr blog

[elysiansaysthings]

   dannyxkaylan​:

“i dare someone to say they have better first borns than we do. we definitely hit the jackpot and yeah that is pretty sad when your kids are acting more like adults than the actual adults…i hope it’s getting better though” he added with a laugh. good? well sure if you counted sleeping on the couch, barely speaking (again) and spending literally no time together that didn’t involve the kids…danny was beginning to feel like a glorified babysitter and he was fucking sick of it. at the same time he didn’t want to start trouble (again) so what could he do but grin and bear it? “how does one go about getting into voice acting anyways? does the studio contact you or do you go to them?” he was honestly curious and wanted off the topic of his flailing relationship asap.

“we have the best kids. plus they’re best friends? it couldn’t have worked out better if we willed it to. it’s my favorite thing in the world that he comes and goes as he pleases like my house is his second home - and that he’s eleven years old and still cuddles with me? the best feeling ever, i love cuddly kids. most of my kids won’t even hug me, but wyatt full on hops under my blanket when we’re watching movies, he’s my favorite not-kid kid that’s not related to me,” she said. “nah, you go to them. you audition. and they’ll nine times out of ten find a spot for you no matter what. there are so many roles that need to be filled, which is why some of us voice multiple characters in one show. it’s fun. gabby’s gotten into it, she actually did her first episode of paw patrol with me a few weeks ago. she loves it.”

[elysiansaysthings]

   notsosunni​:​

❝ and i thought being pregnant in a bar would be boring. i can watch you try to slowly murder the building. or cure its headaches, ❞ sunni mused, sipping at her juice. 

“what’s murdering the building is this awful color scheme --- orange is a terrible color, you don’t pair it with green and brown. all the colors in the world and they chose the three worst and hardest colors to match with anything,” she said, throwing another dart but quickly sitting down when it missed the board and the wall, and ended up smashing a pitcher on a table. “i wish someone could cure the headache that just sprung up on me --- god i hope they didn’t see me do that,” she said, dropping the darts on a nearby, empty table.

[elysiansaysthings]

   dannyxkaylan​:

“you know, I knew i was forgetting something” he said with a laugh. “that’s fair, i can handle all three kids by myself but of course wyatt obviously plays a role in that.” yes he heard it often and said it himself: he had gotten very lucky with his oldest and he suspected it probably was a once in a lifetime deal, lightning in a bottle scenario and wasn’t going to happen again. he thought for a minute, running a finger on the rim of his glass before he sighed heavily. “it’s whatever” he said with a shrug and shake of his head. he had a session the next day he would work through (or on) his issues then.

“oh, gabby helps a lot too. and wyatt too, when he’s over. honestly we hit the oldest kid jackpot. the ones we had as literal children, act more adult than we did at their age - or any age. that’s when you know you’ve raised them right. i always worry that gabby will think i’m taking advantage of her, but i never ask or expect her to do any mom duties with the littles, she just does it on her own. i’m glad i had her first. my brother was the same way with me and cher, and he really was like a third parent,” she said. ellie played with the straw in her drink for a few seconds as she leaned back in her chair. “okay. but if something is going on, at least talk to her about it. y’all seem like you’ve been doing really good, i haven’t heard about any arguments. stay on top of it. and not just you, she needs to stay on top of it too, it’s a group effort.”

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   dannyxkaylan​:

“actress, singer, judge on the voice, social media guru, i am sure i missed stuff. wonder woman has nothing on you” he said and smiled at her. “that’s fair i’m sure if us men had to deal with the baby thing the way moms do we would just surrender.” he worked on his jack and coke and gave a shake of his head in response to her question. he had accepted his fate and that was that. no sense in discussing it further.

“you forgot voice actress, model, theater actress, composer, writer, and producer, but i’ll let it slide,” she said with a small laugh. “i don’t think it’s necessarily a gender thing, i think it depends on the person. the twins and harlow’s daddy can handle all the kids at once, but ollie and harper’s dad and gabby and axel’s dad definitely wouldn’t be able to,” she said. ellie gave him a sympathizing half smile. “are things going okay? have there been any arguments lately, or something gone wrong? dess hasn’t mentioned anything to me, so i’ve assumed you guys were doing alright.”

[elysiansaysthings]

   dannyxkaylan​:

danny mused on this quietly for a minute before he chuckled. “yeah i guess that’s true.” despite the occasional conflict between the two he knew how hard she worked and factoring in her brood he could only readily acknowledge how hard she worked and deserved all the credit. “lucky wall” he said drily. 

“i have so many jobs i forget about some of them. just the other day, my agent was like ‘hey, social media guru, maybe you should actually post something on social media’. like sorry, i have forty thousand other jobs and four babies still on the boob, the last thing i’m thinking about is getting on twitter every two hours to keep the timeline happy,” she said with a shrug. “right? that wall’s getting more than i do and that’s saying something,” she said, giving up on actually hitting the dart board and sitting down. “things not so lucky for you?”

[elysiansaysthings]

   zekehq​:​

❝ as long as i’m staying behind your line of vision, call it whatever you gotta call it. can’t have my pretty face hurt. ❞ the blond sighed, shook his head and took a drink of his liquor. ❝ you’d definitely be fuckin’ someone up if this was acupuncture. ❞

“i’m not wearing my glasses, i have no line of vision. some things are clear, some things aren’t. it’s like... vision roulette,” she said, throwing another dart and missing... again. “acupuncture is kinda fucked anyways, right? like, it’s an entire profession of sticking needles into peoples bodies.”

[elysiansaysthings]

text | twinster

cherry: i STILL don't think i could have blamed either of them for THAT one... but that's possibly because i remember trevor saying it on the show. no that makes sense, wouldn't expect them to have infantized discussions about things, they should be able to get real answers.

cherry: INDIRECTLY, so very indirectly bc i also cannot control your tvs ma'am. i totally would have been freaking the fuck out if any of the babies came up and said it with full confidence like they knew what it meant. it's definitely a bonus that he's clueless, at least until gabby also helps to corrupt all the babies. because THAT i can see slowly but surely.

cherry: you're gonna have to end up setting parental controls, i can see it now. but it's okay, we'll just have to try and make it not ely proof but still childproof 😬 girl... i wasn't even going to blame you but now that i know... you'll be the first person i go to 😂

ellie: have you heard the way these girls talk? they talk about things i don't enough know about, and we both know how *experienced* i am. on the other hand, i'm glad they're comfortable enough to talk about it in front of me. at least they know, yanno? i never want them to be shy about it with me, especially since gabby and axel's dad is like "ew, i don't wanna talk about that with kids".

ellie: i can't even control my tvs, these kids run this house. gabby reprogrammed paw patrol and t.o.t.s. to be recognizable by 'mommy's show' because that's what ollie and harper call them. so now when they tell alexa to play mommy's show, she gives them an entire list of shows i've done. any show that has my name in it, shows up on the tv, which i didn't even know what possible. imagine my confusion when i heard harper ask for mommy's show and then all of a sudden i hear "not a chance, man" from one very tiny 3 year old me because all aboard is one of the shows alexa pulls up

ellie: i mean, if he hasn't said anything or used a phrase that's inappropriate for his age, then he's definitely listening to me when i say 'don't tell mommy you heard that' cause that's something i say A LOT when i realize he heard me say something he shouldn't have

[elysiansaysthings]

@elysian: also happy birthday to my first nephew!! i still can’t believe you and gabby were born exactly a year apart, that still throws me for a loop. you’re at my house A LOT so i feel like it’s only fair that mom and dad grant me partial custody. you help a lot when you’re here, you help cook, you help pick up around the house, and you entertain the tiny humans. we’ve had several talks and it throws me how mature you are for an 11 year old. you were the first baby i loved that didn’t come out of my body and i literally watched you come into this world and cried the second your cried for the first time. i love you, super wy. happy birthday

[elysiansaysthings]

@elysian: this beautiful creature turned 12 yesterday and my heart... is shattered. we’ve literally grown up together and she’s my best friend. i love this child more than life. she’s smart, she’s confident, she’s helpful, she’s extremely conscious of other people and their feelings (except mine, she gives zero fucks). she’s the most beautiful soul i know and i’m so lucky to call her mine. yesterday morning, she woke up hella early... only to get in bed with me and cuddle because she was cold and missed the way i smell. gabby is pretty much mommy 2.0 to the little ones and most of the time, she steals them from me. she’s the only kid i know that actually enjoys doing mommy things instead of just playing with them. she’s the biggest help and the best big sister and the best daughter (i’ll tell harper and harlow the same bc they’ll get jealous... and yes carly, you too). i can’t tell you how proud i am of this child. proud doesn’t even begin to describe it. you were my first baby and i’ve loved you the longest, and it hasn’t always been easy, but i’ve never regretted a thing. you’re so full of love it pours out, you always include axel and b-rex in things you and carly are doing if they’re not helping me with something, and you’re genuinely the best sister and cousin a kid could ever ask for. there’s a lot more to say, but i guess i won’t completely embarrass you online (anymore than i already have) and just give you a bunch of kisses when i pick you up from school today. i love you. happy 12th birthday, gabriella blake.

[elysiansaysthings]

   missivvy​:​

“that’s a great shot, right on the point” she said with a small giggle. “i would never say you’re bad at it. you’re doing great”

“i’m terrible at this game, but its fun to throw sharp things at the wall.”

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   dannyxkaylan​:​

“freestyle acupuncture?” he raised an eyebrow and gave a single shake of his head. “i wouldn’t quit your day job.”

“i have several day jobs, i can substitute one of them,” she said, throwing another dart, which ended up in the wall again. “listen, if that was in fact a pressure point, that wall just had an orgasm.”

[elysiansaysthings]

“you can say i’m bad at darts, but i’m calling it freestyle acupuncture,” she said as she threw a dart, which ended up stuck in the wall instead of the dart board. “that’s a pressure point.” @hhhqstarters​

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@elysian: axel has zero patience with ollie and cameron, he tolerates harper and milo because they’re really attached to him, gabby’s his best friend as long as she’s not beating him in fortnite or league of legends, but harlow... harlow is HIS BABY. also gabby’s baby, but axel has never ever ever attached himself to any of the kids the way he has to harlow. he DEMANDS to change her diaper unless she’s smell cause “i swear to god is a woman i’ll throw up mommy i swear i will” XD he loves her to death and if i’m in another room but she’s fussy, he’s really good about finding out what’s wrong with her and he’ll walk around with her to calm her down and UGH it makes me miss my brother who hasn’t come to see me in a really long time but needs to cause i need my hair done and he always uses my mom’s good hair kit

[elysiansaysthings]

text | twinster

cherry: ...gabriella was your FIRST GUESS? I FEEL LIKE HE COULD HAVE HEARD IT ANYWHERE BUT GABBY WOULDN'T BE MY FIRST GUESS...surprisingly

cherry: oh NO i would have freaked tf out when i got passed the momentary humor, the curiosity and then the horror

cherry: lmao yeah ANOTHER GOOD REASON NONE OF THE BABIES SHOULD WATCH THE SHOW ;-; i would have personally been stunned, and probably completely forget it was mentioned in the show if i heard beau say that

ellie: because her and carly are the only two in this house that he could possibly hear something like that from. they're 11, we have grown up discussions when they have questions

ellie: but now i know HE HEARD IT FROM AUNTIE indirectly but it's fine we're good i was just concerned because my 7 year old acted like he knew what the fuck it meant. i was like "i know what that means... what do YOU think it means?" and i'm so glad he's clueless. it's bad enough gabby knows, i'd like to NOT corrupt the rest of my babies

ellie: THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO, they just do it. imma be real pissed if i end up having to set up parental controls cause i don't know how to use that shit. childproof = elysian proof and i'm not here for it. listen... if beau said something like that i'd 100% assume he overheard me talking about it so if he ever uses an inappropriate term... my bad in advance

[elysiansaysthings]

text | twinster

Cherry: MA'AM i almost choked on my drink 😭😭😭 i wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face

Cherry: but IT'S NOT MY FAULT

ellie: I HAD TO ASK GABRIELLA WHERE HE HEARD IT FROM BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS FROM HER

ellie: i just kept thinking "please please please let there be a logical explanation" thinking my baby was doing THINGS

ellie: she said "ew, no shut up. it's from auntie's show, that's what they call it when they go to wherever the afterlife takes them. chill out" CHILL OUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN MY 7 YEAR OLD SAYS STUFF LIKE THAT i swear i died for a second when he said it

[elysiansaysthings]

text | twinster

Ellie: “mommy, when I die do you think I’ll get sucked off?”

Ellie: THATS WHAT YOUR NEPHEW JUST ASKED ME

[elysiansaysthings]

your not even classicly trained and you sing pop not theater music idk why you were casted in a broadway musical

“first of all, let me start off by saying... i've been performing on broadway as lead roles since i was six years old, so kindly fuck off. second, i got the role because i was the best during auditions. i actually auditioned for this, it wasn't handed to me. i worked my ass off for this and i've been trying to land this role since they started preparing for it... TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO i've been waiting for TEN YEARS for this day. don't take that away from me. i'd also like to direct you to my filmography and theater history... in 2017/2018, i actually played glinda... on broadway... so to say that i can't pull it off and insinuate that i'm not a good choice for the role, you should probably do your fucking research because my so-called untalented, untrained theater ass won not one, not two, but THREE awards for my portrayal of glinda in the short span of barely a year. it was amazing playing her on broadway and it'll be amazing playing her on screen. also, i've known kristin chenoweth (yanno, the original glinda) since i was ten years old and i constantly asked her for advice during my portrayal as glinda and i'll ask her for more advice during this movie. i've literally been acting on television since i was two months old and working on broadway since i was six, i am a veteran in tv, film, and theater and i'm fucking great at it. you don't have to like the casting, you can be salty about it all you want. what you don't get to do is tear me down and insinuate that i'm not going to do a good job portraying a role i've already slayed at. i got the role because i was the best in these agonizingly long auditions, i worked for it. also, fuck you. i'm fucking talented.”