24 | She/Her | I play video games sometimes. Expect posts about Warframe, Destiny 2, FFXIV, Splatoon, D&D, Critical Role, Fire Emblem (sometimes), maybe even the odd horny post here and there, and whatever else my lizard brain decides to hyper-fixate on at the moment. Only one blog because I'm to lazy to set up side blogs.
Recently saw an insta vid where a musician was singing lyrics that described their intrusive thoughts as a person with OCD, and in the comments every so often there would be people writing like "bro what is this 馃え馃え" and "keep this between you and your therapist dont post it on the internet" and it just further fueled my belief that OCD symptoms and intrusive thoughts need to be talked about more because a majority of the struggle with the disorder is the shame surrounding its symptoms. OCD is not able to be easily romanticized or 'quirky'fied like other disorders or neurodivergencies have been*, and as a result its symptoms are more quickly met with disgust or repulsion.
Other people in the comments were thanking OP because it captured the struggle of real intrusive thoughts instead of impulsive ones. Impulsive thoughts are more of the 'I'm gonna dye my hair randomly on a thursday night' thoughts vs the intrusive 'what if I drove my car into that family and suddenly killed us both' thoughts, the latter of which make OCD as a disorder truly debilitating. And the people that immediately assign bad morals to intrusive thoughts? They only further condemn people with OCD to never wanting to talk about the symptoms they've already been struggling with shame about.
I feel it needs to be made more blatantly explained to the public that OCD intrusive thoughts aren't desire based. They're fear and disgust based. You fear hurting anyone so badly your mind can't stop thinking about what if you hurt someone. You fear molesting anyone so you never want to even touch anyone. Your mind fixates on the 'what ifs' and distorts them into the idea that, because you think this way, you must want to act this way--when the reality is the exact opposite.
If a person with OCD ever confides to you one of their intrusive thoughts and you feel a knee-jerk reaction of disgust towards them, it needs to be reiterated that:
1. the person does not want to be thinking about this, their brain is legit hardwired to make those thoughts pop up
2. the person themselves also feels this disgust, often intensely, and they very likely resent themselves for ever thinking it
and
3. they have no desire to enact the intrusive thought, because its intrusive nature hinges on the person's fears and dislikes.
*And to clarify what I mean by romanticization and 'quirk'-ifying, I do not mean to imply that romanticizing any disorder or condition is inherently a good thing. It's only to state that conditions like anxiety and ADHD have been made such common/'trendy' topics recently that they're less taboo to speak about--leading to more people talking about their struggles with it, and helping others realize they might have it too and aren't alone. Because certain OCD traits aren't as marketable (obviously) a lot of those with it are left rather isolated.
is this what it was like in 9/11. trying to reason with people whose entire concept of human decency flies out the window when presented with the possibility of causing the smallest amount of harm to a "terrorist", no collateral damage is too large, no civilian too innocent, no connection too murky for people to deserve to die or be permanently crippled. people citing world war two urban warfare statistics to try to make a bad situation seem less worse and not balking at how fascist they sound