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[emlovesredbull]

palm reading - clyde donovan ______________________________________________________________________

clyde donovan oneshot

type: fluff

relationship: romantic, not established

tw: mildly sexual pickup lines author's note: sorry if this is bad. this was written in a rush, i just wanted to post something :)

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The flashing neon lights were not a helpful guide to the bathroom. Y/n walked around the frat party aimlessly, hoping to find someone she recognized. Unfortunately, she had been separated from the three people she knew. Her bladder tightened again, resulting in a groan of annoyance from the girl. She had to pee, but the hassle of interrupting someone's night scared her a little.

After all, she has just transferred to Boulder from out of state. It was quite literally her first week at the new college. Her three roommates, Red, Nichole, and Heidi, had been invited to Sigma Kappa's function and had decided to bring Y/n too. She hadn't exactly jumped at the opportunity to attend yet another party with shitty beer and even shittier guys, but eventually gave in to the begging of her roommates. Which was why she was wandering around looking for a bathroom in a way-too-tiny black dress.

"Goddamnit," Y/n grumbles, crossing her legs. She searches rapidly for someone she recognizes, but nobody sticks out to her. Her sigh of defeat must capture the attention of a nearby brown-haired boy though, because he begins walking over.

"You don't sound too happy," He points out, a smug little smirk on his face. Y/n resists the urge to roll her eyes. She isn't a fan of small talk, especially when there are more pressing matters at hand.

"Where's the bathroom? I really have to pee," She states, bluntly. The boy studies her for a moment, surprised at her directness.

"Hello?" Y/n questions, crossing her legs in an attempt to hold off the explosion of her bladder. She looks into his brown eyes, waiting for a response. It's almost as if the boy has shut down or malfunctioned.

Her eyes can't help but study her companion while he thinks. His white tank top is too tight and she takes notice of the way his muscles stand out. Fuck. 'Focus on other things Y/n,' the girl reminds herself. The brown hair on his head is carefully messed up, like a science and it captures her attention. How did he get it like that?

"Um, it's upstairs to the left. Do you need a tour guide?" He grins, flashing a cheeky smile at her. For a moment, a dimple flashes in the corner of his mouth. She shrugs nonchalantly.

He leads her up the stairs and to the bathroom, avoiding the couples making out on the railings or the drunkards passing out on the ground. Once they arrive at the door, the boy produces a cheerful 'Here!'.

Once relieved, Y/n washes her hands in the sink. She pauses for a moment to look at herself in the mirror. The straps of her dress definitely need to be tightened, so she moves the metallic piece up. She flattens out some stray away hairs before deciding she's satisfied with her current appearance.

Outside the door is the brown-haired boy from before. She looks at him curiously, wondering what he's doing.

"I never caught your name beautiful," He says, smooth as butter. The brown-haired boy takes a sip from a red solo cup in his hand that Y/n must not have noticed before. "I'm Clyde, and you are?"

"Y/n," She says, deciding to play along for the moment.

"You look kinda like you've been feeling down, maybe I can feel you up?" He says, an innocent smile plastered on his face. If he wants to play that game, Y/n is not about to lose.

"What did you say your name was again?" She asks sweetly.

"Clyde?" He questions, clearly unprepared for the words about to come out of Y/n's mouth.

"Oh good, I wanted to make sure I'll be screaming the right name in bed tonight." Y/n winks seductively at the very-flustered Clyde. He's a little red, though she can't tell if it's from the alcohol or the pick-up lines.

"Y'know, I was feeling pretty off today, but then you turned me on."

"Please don't let this go to your head, but do you want some?"

After a few rounds of spitting the dirtiest pickup lines they can think of, Clyde and Y/n are both equally flustered. Clyde's got redder cheeks, while Y/n's pulse has increased. Her heart was practically beating out of her chest.

She liked going back and forth with him, though unexpected. He wasn't expecting to meet his flirting match today either. He was enjoying every second though.

"Did you know I'm a palm reader?" Clyde starts, with a weird glint in his eye. Y/n waits for the second part of the joke to come, but it doesn't.

"Do you want to read my palm or something?" She sticks her arm face up towards the boy. He takes it carefully into his hands. His warm fingers trace the little lines on her hand, marking all the indents. Y/n feels butterflies in her stomach as he holds her hand still. Clyde moves his fingers up towards her arm, and before she can blink, he's lifted her chin up.

"Smooth," She giggles. His hand is still resting on her chin, forcing them into eye contact. A new blush fills Y/n's cheeks. She begins closing the gap between them and soon their lips meet. He presses hard against her lips, matching her energy. Clyde wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her against his chest. She smiles into the kiss, glad that he felt the spark too. His other hand is rubbing her jawline gently. Y/n's messing up his hair with one of her hands, while the other is slung around his neck.

"God, I'm really glad you had to pee," Clyde says, pulling away momentarily. She smiles, pulling his tank top towards her for another kiss.

[emlovesredbull]

the main 4 as teenagers

or how i imagine them at least....

stan marsh

-tried to stay away from weed to avoid being like randy (it doesn't work)

-he's not addicted, he just has easy access to weed and likes the feeling it gives him

-massive alcoholic

-he doesn't enjoy going to parties, but there's free alcohol there so he usually takes a stash to the bathroom or a more private area to be alone

-smokes with kenny behind the school when he gets bored with class

-dyed his hair blonde after his dad called stan his mini-me

-has really shaggy bangs, but his hair is weirdly soft (he accidentally used shelley's shampoo one time and now he can't stop)

-mostly c's with a few b's

-always listening to music during class and then proceeds to complain about never knowing what's going on

-the quarterback of the football team and actually very good at it???

-pretty tall, about 6'1

-has a notebook filled with song ideas, but never records/performs the songs he writes

-drives a slightly beat up ford bronco

-wears a lot of baggy clothes, especially sweatshirts

-has a VERY bad depression room (lowkey me too)

-coaches kid's football over the summer for extra cash

kyle

-very smart, 4.0 gpa (he won't rub it in your face though)

-amazing at basketball but underestimates himself and gets very bad anxiety every single tryout season

-slight germophobe

-pretty clean person, likes a tidy room, but whenever he gets busy it gets a little messy sometimes

-tallest of the friendgroup, 6'4, but nobody knows where it came from because both of his parents are super short

-very bad at all of the videogames and always comes last when the boys play

-doesn't smoke, but he drinks occasionally

-not a party boy, he'd much rather stay in, but sometimes kenny and stan drag him to functions

-he stands by the snack table and somehow always ends up helping a really drunk person

-gained better anger management strategies, but it's still fairly easy to make him tick

-drives a white subaru legacy

-sheila makes sure he always looks presentable, so he wears a lot of sweaters and jeans

-he still wears a hat to cover up his curls

-took up guitar a couple years after his guitar hero phase, but it usually sits in the corner untouched

-cancels plans a lot because sheila makes him pick up ike

kenny

-shows up to everything high (asked randy how to grow weed and started a little garden in his backyard)

-mostly c's with a few d's s

-usually leaves in the middle of the school day to go work one of his jobs

-pulls up to random snapchat functions with stan (and kyle)

-is the drummer in a band

-has very shaggy and somewhat long hair

-has a reputation as a playboy

-karen is always painting his nails different colors

-drives a beat-up truck he found in the junkyard (kevin helped him hotwire it)

-secretly really enjoys romcoms

-also enjoys the playboy magazines he sells to the middle school boys

-has been kicked out of target 34 times

-his clothes are kind of old and torn, so he adopted a grunge style so it looked natural

-treats girls surprisingly good because of his experience with his little sister

-speaking of karen, he saves a little bit of every paycheck to buy her something special

-spends the night in his car (with karen ofc) sometimes after his parents fight

-is 5'11

cartman

-worked at kfc but got fired for eating the skin off of people's chicken and then serving it to them

-throws parties sometimes and people only go to them to trash his house

-surprisingly gets straight a's

-varsity bench rider for football, but by the way he brags about it you'd think he's starting (he's a linebacker btw)

-genuinely believes he has abs (he does not, and the girls would like him to put his shirt back on)

-is famous on twitch, youtube and twitter for his gameplay and commentary (he's like a teenage boy trisha paytas)

-has the ice cream tiktok boy hairstyle and thinks it makes him look cool

-is like 5'8

-has a very basic style, and pretty much only wears nike

-runs an anonymous advice tiktok account and gaslights people into believing his bad advice

-drives a red convertible he BEGGED liane for

-doesn't really smoke, but he likes vaping and alcohol

-listens to edm music and everyone else despises it

-pretended to be a serial killer one time because he thought it was funny

-the teachers hate him because he's super loud and disruptive in their classes, but he's super smart effortlessly

-doesn't use deodorant

-or shower multiple times in a week

-his hair is very greasy

-definitely has a discord kitten because none of the girls at school like him

[emlovesredbull]

masterlist

stan marsh:

teenager headcanons

kyle broflovski:

teenager headcanons

eric cartman:

teenager headcanons

kenny mccormick:

teenager headcanons

butters stotch:

craig tucker:

tweek tweek:

jimmy valmer:

tolkien black:

clyde donovan:

palm reading - oneshot

wendy testaburger:

bebe stevens:

red mcarthur:

nichole daniels:

heidi turner:

[emlovesredbull]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

em - 17 - she/her

characters aged up to 16+

no smut/incest/gore (i'm a minor)

currently only writing for south park :)

characters i'll write for:

-stan's gang (stan, kyle, cartman, kenny, butters)

-craig's gang (tweek, craig, tolkien, jimmy, clyde)

-the girls (wendy, bebe, nichole, red, heidi)

masterlist :)

currently working on: ???

requests open!!