#pickup lines

[cookthepenguin]

is this fr? do people really use pickup lines?

[sarahmesstuff]

Wanna bend me over💦🤐

[dumblr]

My doctor says I'm lacking vitamin U.

[amie-bkdk]

Cringy random pickup line 👀🫢

[cornsnakebread]

POV:

Local homeless man tries to flirt with you…

Or is he asking for help??? Honestly you can’t tell.

This was another sticker idea I had but I don’t think I like it enough to get it printed so ima just put it here 🤠

[pratchettquotes]

Casanunda picked himself up and adjusted his wig happily.

"I like a girl with spirit," he said. "How about you and me having a little tête-à-tête when this is over?"

Nanny Ogg's face went blank. Her cosmopolitan grip of language had momentarily let her down.

"Excuse me a minute," she said. She put her drink down on his head and pushed through the crowd until she found a likely looking duchess, and prodded her in the bustle regions.

"Hey, your grace, what's a tater tate?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"A tater tate? Do you do it with your clothes on or what?"

"It means an intimate meeting, my good woman."

"Is that all? Oh. Ta."

Nanny Ogg elbowed her way back to the vibrating dwarf.

"You're on," she said.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

[justcallmesakira]

"All pickup lines are taken, can I pick you up?~

Sypnosis: Whats better then flirting with your own lover by shocking him with the most flabbergasting pickup line?

Genre: Lowkey crack, a bit suggestive?

Pairings: Dazai x reader

A/N: this was so fun especially since this was a short drabble💗💗💗guys read it again if you already read it I made slight changes

Today was probably the quietest day in the agency especially since dazai was somehow in a calm mood today. Though it's a very rare possibility of dazais shenanigans to not be on display, everyone was doing their work.

Dazai was leaning against a wall probably thinking of some suicide method in that brain of his. Only God knew what goes on in that big brain of his.

You came marching over to the office with a cheeky grin on yourself which immediately made ranpo jolt up from his seat with a shocked look on his face... Oh boy what did he deduce....

"Helloooo~ donna'! How was your da-" Before dazai could speak the whole of your arm was right beside him with your knee bend down beside his pair of daddy long legs which immediately made his eyes widen in shock.

Only silence in the agency could be heard for a few seconds before everyone's eyes switch to you pining the bandaged man to him.

"I'd love to take you to the movies but they don't let you bring your own snacks" you spit out with a grinding face which makes dazai brain a long time to process what in the rizz lord did you say.

Oh ho ho, you didn't stop there

"By the way, Dazai have we met before? Because you look like my next husband"

you winked at dazai with the most nasty eye, the type of expression which any boy would give to a girl.

Yosano was sighing with ranpo beside her giving them the nastiest eye anyone in the room could give. Atsushi was beyond flustered by your bold move, good thing kenji and kyouka went on a playda-- I mean mission.

Kunikida was simply shocked because of his no pda rule.

Dazai's senses finally came back which made him snicker. "my my, belladonna, trying to be dominating now are we, Though the thought of sliding a ring on your empty finger isn't a bad idea" He really had the audacity to tease you and grin at you while he's the one being pushed against the wall like a poster.

Your little interaction was interrupted when Kunikida came raging towards you two with a file in his hands, hitting the both of you harshly and giving you two a quick scold.

Deep inside though, dazais heartbeat really fastened though that even he couldn't code it down.

A/N: idk if I should do more well written parts....

Divider creds: @cafekitsune

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Here are some sciencey pick up lines you can use:

1. Will you be the hydrogen to my carbon.

2. You are set A and I am set B so shall we find out our common interests thru a union?

3. Shall we find out our HCF?

4. When I kiss you I expect Newton's Third Law to be in action.

5. Let's be a dipole and have dipole moments.

6. Let's be coherent, make a wavefront and make wavelets together to see our future.

7. Wanna form a mycorrhiza?

8. Your eyes shine brighter than magnesium flame (lmao what in the Apollo-)

9. Are you Ester? Cuz you lookin' fruity!

10. You are the C (cytosine) to my G (guanine).

11. If you are a proton, then I'm a neutron so let's cuddle.

12. You are the electric field to my magnetic field.

13. I can be the photon to your electron if photoelectric effect turns you on.

14. If you are alternating current, I will become the transformer, coz I will reduce your pains and increase your happiness. (My friend's)

15. You're my principal interest and you make my heart race at the rate of 100% and I'm ready to serve you every day per annum.

16. Be the glucose to my insulin receptors. (My friend's)

17. Let's spread the sheets cuz we wanna excel in what we're doing tonight. (Lmao-)

18. Let's not rush and start with induction, shall we?

19. You are my biggest flux.

20. y = mx + b my partner?

21. Be the capsaicin to my water cuz together we can be spicier. (This one is so.... 💀)

[oro-junestar]

terrible side order themed pickup lines:

-u got me achtin unorderly

-im harder than cruel sisyphean eight shaped floor

-baby u can be the drizzling capriccioso to my splat zone

-collect my color chips

-i love u as much as battering lento loves balls

-u turn my smollusc into a overlorder if u know what i'm sayin

-im going to relentlessly pursue you like a homing arpeggio until i make you explode

-you pearl me marina we yuri

-haha..my peanits is a towering nobilmente right now and its gonna shoot at the sight of you

-im going to write a dedicated you appreciation paragraph in my diary (I STILL CANT GET OVER THE FACT THAT SHE DID THIS ITS GENUINELY SO ADORABLE WTF)

-asynchronous rondo

-im gonna bounce on u like a springing spiccato tonight

-hey bbg wanna be the side to my order

-ur smile is worth more than membucks can buy

i cant do this anymore

[lyralit]

hit me with your best pickup line.

(I'll rb my favs)

[art-making-grat]

spot rizz

I watercolored it and will show you later(under cut)

edit:

[coldemergency]

Harry: So what’s your plans for the day?

Voldemort: World domination

Harry: Wow, sounds kind of evil…

Voldemort: And you’re my world

Harry: Awwwh! That’s so sweet! You know all the right things to say to- Wait…

Voldemort:

Harry: Oh

[sarahmesstuff]

Say something nice 😊

[dumblr]

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

[hamham-moments]

[brokoala-soup]

if i had to rate you, you'd be 9/11 because you bring me down to the floor with just one touch crash