emmaxosteel - Tumblr blog

[emmaxosteel]

Host Rant #5

Guest: "Hi, we have a reservation"

Me: "Alright you can follow me"

Guest: "Uhm we requested a booth/ somewhere quiet/ in a field of daisies on the moon"

It's a request for a reason. We don't hold booths for everyone that requests them on a busy Friday night because half of my tables would not be in use.

Also news flash, it's a Friday night, there is no such thing as "somewhere quiet". You should have stayed at home.

[emmaxosteel]

Hostess Rant #4

*In walks a guest that I'm sure won't be difficult in any way*

Me: "Hi, how are you?"

Guest: *says nothing and holds up 2 fingers*

Me: *In turn say nothing because I'm going to assume you're mute or rude*

proceed to walk you to your table silence

proceed to set your menus down and walk away in silence

proceed to get talked to by a manager for being rude after they complain

[emmaxosteel]

Host Rant #3

Dear Servers,

1) Don't bitch to me about getting a two top. I can't control who walks in, but if you'd like I could stop seating you until the perfect table walks in. No? Shut up.

2) Don't bitch to me about getting a four top, but of people that don't look like you want to serve them. Please, let me just interview everyone that's walking in and ask them what they're planning to order so that I can put them in the right persons section.

3) If I seat a table in an open section, near your section, don't even look at them. If you were the person I wanted to take it, I would have asked you. just walk away.

4) If you're an asshole to me, I will seat you like shit and not even blink an eye. trust me.

5) Unless you're going to help me seat, talk to me about things that have nothing to do with work, or praise me for the fantastic job I'm doing, don't talk to me. at all. because if you're not doing any of those things, then you're more than likely bitching. and it will piss me off.

6) If you have a problem with something I did, please feel free to tell a manager. They will be on my side because news flash, I know how to do my job.

[emmaxosteel]

Host Rant #2

Guest: "Hi we have a reservation for a party of 7 but it's actually only going to be 4 now"

*Stabbing you in the face in my mind*

Me: "Okay it'll just be a few minutes then"

Guest: "But we have a reservation"

Bitch I swear... I didn't say it'd be like 20 minutes, i said a few.

you didn't feel the need to call and let us know that your party changed? then I don't feel the need to seat you right away

Also, thank you so much. we currently have been holding two tables in a servers sections for your "party of 7" and now I have to deal with their wrath when they find out they're not getting a party anymore. 

You're making my life so easy right now.

but you know, whatever you want.

[emmaxosteel]

Host Rant #1

What's running through my mind everytime I seat a table....

Don't ask me if you can have a booth. If you had the option then I would have asked you if you preferred a booth or a table. And especially don't ask me when I already walked you to your table and set your menus down... I swear....

just stop looking around....

stop asking your friends if they want a booth....

Guest: "Could we actually have a booth?"

NO... YOU CAN'T

Me: "Sure....."

Guest: "Could we actually have that booth?"

You must be fucking joking. I just did you a favor by giving you the first booth where it would fuck up my rotation as little as possible. but you know what sure, whatever you want.