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Absolutely obsessed!

look. look at this beautiful sword meme. i’m going to cry

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MOET: A light int he dark 

A/N uncertain times lead to anxiety. excerpt from my poem book, Misadventures of Eros and Thanatos.

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I have always dreamed of a cookie perfect future, where I would have it together.

I kept burdening my shoulders with an unnecessary weight over the years.

And as expected, I ended up being overwhelmed and disappointed.

How could I not be, when I was the one to set the bar so high?

I thought my life had only meant when I « became » something.

The dreams I tried to fulfilled and the goals I tried to achieve were not realistic.

The pressure I put on myself was so strong that it ended up suffocating me.

And when my future slipped through my fingers and, I didn't reach my goals?

I crumbled.

What was the point of my life if I wasn't able to « become » who I wanted to be?

If I didn't correct my imperfection and snapped those picture-perfect moments of my life?

What was I if not a fraud? What was I, if not unhappy?

I forgot how it was to enjoy my life the way it was. I forgot how it was to be me.

I couldn't tell if it was time convincing me that I was nothing, or the constant failures that did it.

The air became suffocating and I couldn't breathe. That's what happened since my dreams.shattered.

I couldn't move forward, I couldn't breathe and I lost myself into the darkness that was my life.

There was nothing left but darkness, so I decided to drift away until it swallowed me whole... until...

Light pierced through the dark.

Love came to me, victorious already. I could feel its warm light embraces my dried-out heart.

I could feel it destroy the darkness that surrounded me and bathe me in its righteous light.

It embraced me, comforted me and like a mother to a crying child, it cradled me.

« You're more than enough » she whispered to me and like a child, I ended up weeping.

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The misadventures of Eros and Thanatos: My tender love.

// Excerpt of my poem book. written 5 years ago.

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, I turn my head and look at you. Watching you so peacefully sleep overwhelms me with warmth. I feel lucky because I get to be the one who can watch you sleep. I get to be the one who can stare at you while you're at peace. I get to be the one you entrust with your safety and your well-being. Do you know how beautiful you are when you sleep? When there are no worries in the world, and your body so nonchalantly turns around? Do you know how sweet it is for me to watch you curl against me? Search for the comfort of my body? Even in your sleep, you make me feel like I'm the only soul in the world. You make me feel like we're only two, and we're enough just together.

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, my tender love, I am in awe. I can feel your steady breathing over my skin, the sweet rhythm of your heartbeats that serenades me, even in your sleep. You make it feel safe right there. Right here. My heart beats at your pace, slowly matching the soothing beat. My mind's at peace, right there, with your beautiful face as the only focus of the night. And the love I feel for you is making my own heart soar. Oh, I love you so! I love it when there are no demons and nightmares when we are together. I love how your arm wraps around my frame to keep me closer to you, and I love to feel the warm breath of yours brush over the skin of my neck. You protect me, even in your sleep.

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, here you are staring at me. Silence is comfortable for we don't need words to say « I love you. », we don't need words to say we care. All I need is the way you look at me, with wonder and curiosity, with a tempest in your soul followed by the calm of the sea, with excitement and fondness... with the sense of « I belong » written all over it. It's a gaze filled with love, one I never knew could exist. And I look at you, vulnerable, invincible, and in the same turmoil as yours. I look at you with sparkles in the eyes and fireworks in the heart. I look at you as I would look at the beautiful landscape I could see from the Porsche of my second residence in the Summer. I look at you as I would when I go home after a long day. I feel at home with you. I feel with you. I feel alive... My tender love, how I love you!

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, here you are smiling at me. And the heavyweight I carried on my shoulders, all of a sudden disappears. I tremble and shake whenever you smile at me, and I feel unshed tears fill my eyes. You are such a work of art, of pure, unbridled art that graced my sight. Your face always lit up when you look at me, and it always moves me. It always makes me smile, and it always makes me burn inside. My tender love, how I love you. This love is serene, it is because /I/ know. I don't need you to prove to me your love. I don't need you to go out of your way to love me or show me you care. Because the devil is in the little details and I already know that you love me. You love me when you look at me. You love me when we laugh together. You love me when you cook something for me. You love me when you let me do what I love, and you love me when you trust me with people who aren't you. My tender love.. how could I not fall in love with you? How could I not want eternity with you?

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To the little voices in your head telling you that you can't do it.

To the naysayers who constantly put you down.

To the bullies who claim you would amount to nothing.

Prove them wrong, babe!

There will always be those who want to sow chaos in your soul,

Those will mock and deride you,

Those who will take every opportunity to break your spirit,

Those too afraid to do the thing you do and would rather you tow in line.

Prove them wrong, babe!

Even if you end up failing, because we can't predict the future.

Even if you end up switching gears and changing careers,

Even if your actions would only bear fruit once you're gone,

Prove them wrong, babe!

We only have this life, we only know this life, and if there is something I can only wish for us, it's to do what we wanted to do so we can depart without regrets.

Because we can say: "I did it. I wanted to do it, so I did!"

Because we can say: "I lived my life to the fullest. I rose, and I fell, but I lived!"

So prove them wrong, babe!

Live!

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WELCOME OCTOBER /ART COMMISSION SHEET

Hii this is my new updated art commission sheet you choose here what you want wish you support me

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🔶 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS 🔶

Hey guys! I’m a bit short on rent, so I’m opening comms once again. If you’ve ever considered getting a commission from me, now would be an incredible time.

Dm me for further info.

Reblogs much appreciated <3

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Please take a look and help if you can.

MY NEW ART COMMISSION SHEET

Hello hello 👋👋.. each and Everyone here okay here we start again i am decided to upgrade my New art Sheet

i hope you are still supporting me and trusting me to our journey here in tmblr and it's been a few year since I continued to work here as a small artist, I know I have more to learn here and I have more to show as to draw your favorite character or art and etc.🌈

being a child and to helping my parents and whole family to support them financially especially my Moms medication,

still Im open for an art commission give your art beautiful and meaningful you want it 🥰😘

just message me for interested and dont worry i know not all there can afford but want you to draw don't worry my price is negotiable and i can go with friendly discount thank you so much and reblog is okay 💗🙏

My kofi app is open for your donation and Order : https://ko-fi.com/chinitaprincess04

Still i WILL do :

● Original Character /oc Art ● NsFw/SFw

● any Antro character ● Furry art

● Fandom/FanArt. ● tattoos

● Dnd ● Panel Art

● animal Pet or pet Art ● real People

MY RULES :

● No REFUND

● Be nice and Friendly

● UPFRONT PAYMENT

● Additional Character is Half of the original price

● Background is Additional $25

● Simple color Background is FREE

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Hello my Darlings! I need your help, I have to make 2 thousand USD to pay off my poor hubbies Hospital Bills.... He is back to work and healing, we live paycheck to paycheck and he is the main bread winner. We had our insurance cover a really big part, But after getting all the bills along with a itemized bill we still owe a little over 2 grand.

What my husband makes will be going to regular bills and necessities, he cant do over time and strain himself anymore, we really dont want another medical emergency for him.

I will leave commissions Open until I can cover those costs, I am putting all other art projects on hold, until we can pay this off. Also I will be working on these full time now as well, my kiddos and I are working as a team and they will be in their school room doing their work as I work as well. I love that the only thing separating my studio from their schoolroom is a door, that I will have open as I draw.

Payments are available through paypal or Kofi.

Every little bit helps. For commissions please contact me through chat. I don't offer nsfw, I am going to be working with a toddler and little kid next to me.... So keeping things no more than pg13.

Here are the prices and samples

Please keep in mind that design is a bit extra depending on details. along with backgrounds and accessories.

There is also a commission list to keep updates here

I can't lower my prices at this time, due to these darn bills, But if you want to help donate please feel free though my ko-fi every little bit helps.

If you can help spread the work that would be super amazing, Thank you~!

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The Day of the Jackal: Part 1

A/N: I am dipping my toes here. Just trying to overcome a crippling fear here. I'm ESL. I fell in love with the show and immediately started to write fanfiction. It's the first in forever. I'm also writing a book (finished the first draft, and I'm in the process of editing/ having it reviewed, so the fanfic is the way I can unwind). I'm taking a leap of faith here. Please just scroll if you don't like the story.

A/N2: Time jump of 2 years after the event of season 1. The Jackal has moved on from his life with Nuria and Carlito. He is in a new relationship with an old acquaintance, and her past is returning to bite them. Would they spiral? Would they fix the issue? We’ll see.

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"Diane?" -The Jackal's soft voice echoed in the room as he felt a shift in the bed they were sharing-

She hummed her response and sat on the bed. The faint moonlight pierced the room, helping him guess her frame. His intense blue eyes stared at her form. He could only see her back from where he was. Diane didn't move from her spot, and he could hear her breathing get faster as if she were becoming uncomfortable. She tried to control her breathing and curled her fingers around the sheets. 

"Alex....He's in the city. I saw him yesterday while grocery shopping..."

"Are you alright?" -In one swift motion, the Jackal stood up and circled around the bed to face Diane. She chewed at her bottom lip and shook her head. No. She wasn't alright at all. He could feel her body shake as she was trying to collect herself. The hitman cupped her cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb, and Diane leaned into his hand.- "Obviously, you're not. Did he see you?"

"No. He didn't. I froze on the spot." -She closed her eyes, and tears rolled over her soft cheeks.-

 Her hand wrapped around his wrist gently, and he cupped her other cheek with his other hand. Diane had rarely lost her composure like that, and it was unnerving, to say the least of the emotions that crossed his mind. He was furious; his anger was bubbling under the surface of his soft eyes. He knew why she was afraid of that man and he hated the fact that it had happened to her. His icy blue eyes averted from her lips to her eyes, and he steadied her head, so the only thing she could do was look into his eyes. 

"I know you're frustrated but you shouldn't be upset at yourself for reacting the way you did. This man hurt you, Diane." -She tried to push him away but he held onto her hands with his- 

"No!" -She whimpered, the strength leaving her arms the more she struggled against him- "No!" -She bit back a sob and dropped her head- "No!... Alex...."-She whimpered again- "I would never be able to heal as long as he's alive.-

"I'll do it." -She shook her head- "I'll do it, Diane!" -She lifted her head to look at his face, her hazel eyes were wide open and while they were still in the dark, he could tell how tense she was.- "I'll do it for free! Don't you dare think about paying me for this job!" -He warned her calmly. Diane swallowed a lump and crossed her legs on the bed. She put her hands on her lap, her wrists exposed to him. She conceded.-

"Let me help you. I can't get close to that man, but... I can help you."

----

Milan, 2 years ago, Caffetaria Rocca.

"Is Enora your real name?"

"Are you seriously asking me this, /Charles/?"  -She lifted a brow and grabbed her cup of coffee-

"Do I look like I am joking?" He asked, shaking his head. "I've looked into you." -She grinned-

"Have you? Seems like we share the same mind then... /Charles/" -He flinched and clenched his jaw. He hated the way she sarcastically said his fake name. It irritated him so much that he couldn't stop himself from clenching his jaw. She laughed a hearty and genuine laugh that disarmed the Jackal. He liked it. Far more than he wanted to admit to himself- "I'm not new in the game. I know it's not your real name just like Enora isn't mine. I do like Enora, though,  and I like the way it sounds in your mouth." -He blushed and cracked his knuckles, betraying his lack of focus.-

"Touché! So, you've tried to look into me and what did you find?"

"As much as what you found about me. Let me tell you. You guessed my birth country right because of my faint accent. Probably figured out that I was an orphan of war. But nothing until I entered the game. You know about Ghost's exploits. You know what I'm capable of, and you know that I have principles but aside from that, you don't know shit about me. Am I right?" -She kept grinning and mind-absently started to stroke the rim of her cup-

"You guessed right. I don't have much info about you, and I can't be at fault for that." -He grabbed his cup of coffee and took a sip. She still looked amused by the whole situation, which, strangely enough, started to get to him as well.- "Give me your best shot. what did you find about me?"

"You're British. No matter how hard you try to hide it, you can't shake it off completely. Given your skills, I'd say you were ex-military.  I've followed your trail during the whole River affair, and I've noticed you really liked Spain." -He flinched again. She's cunning!-

It reminded him of Bianca Pullman and her deduction skills that took her to Spain as well, as to his family. What family? Nuria had left him and as he found out, she had moved on from him completely. Carlito was too young to remember his father, and he embraced Nuria's new fiancé as his own. The Jackal thought about tearing this new family apart. He wanted his wife bac,k but what stopped him was seeing her relaxed and happy. She did find an honest man who genuinely loved her and treated Carlito as his own. Didn't she deserve peace? Didn't she? Didn't he? Ghost's smirk was distraction,g and he couldn't help but focus on her soft and plump lips-

"What of it?"

"You tried to escape this life when you were in Spain. I understand that. What use would we have of the money we get from our jobs if we didn't live to the fullest? You had a family there. A wife and child... A brother-in-law who forced your hand and had you reveal your location to those who really paid attention. Yet, since the hit on UDC, you've never been back to Spain."

"I have no family. I thought I could have one, and I tried, but it failed." -He honestly answered. It took her aback, and she blushed. He watched as she blinked several times and pinched her lips together. She was flustered, and that gave him an edge, so he bent forward, invading her personal space-"So you've been looking into me, and you nailed it. Impressive!"

"Relax, Charles. My investigation led me to believe that you did something so foul that your government erased your existence from the world." -She had a knack for making him tense up, especially when her voice went lower rather than higher and became almost like a purr. Distracting!- 

"Is this the same with you? Why did you pick up the codename Ghost?" -She swallowed a lump and gave him a crooked smile. Why did he care so much about the reasons she picked her nickname? Her hazel eyes set upon his face.-

"This is all that is left of me in this world. I am but a ghost with no past, no present, and no future." She confidently claimed before she leaned into her chair- " I have a question of my own now, Jackal." She said, taking another sip of her coffee before she put the cup back on the table. He narrowed his gaze and lifted a brow-

"Shoot."

"Did we meet by chance or did you do it by design?" -His icy blue eyes stared at her gorgeous face.- 

He didn't say anything but leaned back into his chair. Why did he seek Ghost? Why did he go out of his way to meet with her? He couldn't admit it, but he had been intrigued with her work. Unlike Jackal, Ghost kills her targets up close and personally. She was a master of her craft, swift and efficient and he wanted to talk with her about their craft. No. It wasn't true. He was obsessed with her. What started like a simple research project turned into a bona fide obsession with her. He couldn't say it out loud. He couldn't answer her. His heartbeat started to go faster as his eyes averted from her lips to her eyes.  Ghost was a beautiful woman. He liked her hazel eyes, stern and calculating. He liked that she was staring at him, in an attempt to decipher the mystery that the Jackal was. He liked that she was staring at /him/ and no one else.  He loved her plump lips and the nice curves of her larger nose. He loved her smile and the whiteness of her teeth contrasting with her black skin and pink lips. focus! Jackal! Focus! 

---

-TBC-

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I have debated whether I should share some of my fan fiction. It may be the right place for it. Maybe it's not. Maybe I could just share one chapter of my most recent fic and one for which I don't have such a strong emotional attachment to XD

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#signalboost #boosting #comms #help #Beelz is a friend and an awesome artist!

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS

Hey guys! I'm veery short on rent this month and there's a serious risk I will get kicked out. I'm opening comms again and any support would mean the world to me <3 I do both sfw and n/sfw, ships, ocs, selft inserts or single characters. Reblogs much appreciated :)

Further info HERE

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Writing a "Day of the Jackal" fanfic and having to stop myself from thirsting over The Jackal every second.

It's been such a while since I wrote fanfiction, and I am wondering if I should post it. eeeeek...

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"you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel" girl i am living that balsamic life, that's the mommy down there at the bottom.

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so effin true. I hate it when it's like this.

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#history #firstselfie #technology

1920 Photographer James Byron Clayton and friends took what might have been the very first group selfie! Taken at the Marceau Photo Studio on Fifth Avenue opposite St. Patrick's Cathedral. From Andra Roth Ruscin, FB.

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50 Terms of Endearment

This selection of words used as terms of endearment over the past thousand years shows several items that have stood the test of time, notably darling and dear, and some recurring motifs, such as those from the semantic fields of taste and the animal kingdom. But several belong to their own time: bawcock and bully, for example, are encountered in Shakespeare.

darling (c. 888) ⚜ dear (c. 1230) ⚜ sweetheart (c. 1290)

heart (c. 1305) ⚜ honey (c. 1375) ⚜ dove (c. 1386)

cinnamon; love (c. 1405) ⚜ mulling (c. 1475) ⚜ daisy (c. 1485)

mouse (c. 1520) ⚜ whiting (c. 1529) ⚜ fool (c. 1530) ⚜ beautiful (1535)

soul (c. 1538) ⚜ bully (1548) ⚜ lamb (c. 1556) ⚜ pussy (c. 1557)

ding-ding (1564) ⚜ lover (1573) ⚜ pug (1580) ⚜ mopsy (1582)

bun (1587) ⚜ wanton (1589) ⚜ ladybird (1597) ⚜ chuck (1598)

sweetkin (1599) ⚜ duck; joy (1600) ⚜ sparrow (c. 1600)

bawcock (c. 1601) ⚜ nutting (1606) ⚜ tickling (1607)

bagpudding (1608) ⚜ dainty (1611) ⚜ flitter-mouse (1612) ⚜

pretty (1616) ⚜ old thing (c. 1625) ⚜ duckling (1630) ⚜ sweetling (1648)

pet (1767) ⚜ sweetie (1778) ⚜ cabbage (1840) ⚜ prawn (1895)

so-and-so (1897) ⚜ pumpkin (1900) ⚜ pussums (1912)

treasure (1920) ⚜ sugar (1930) ⚜ lamb-chop (1962)

Source ⚜ More: Word Lists ⚜ Notes: On Love ⚜ Love Advice ⚜ "I love you" Word Lists: Love Pt. 1 Pt. 2 ⚜ Physiology of Love ⚜ Synonyms ⚜ Kinds of Love

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#cute #kawaii #Iwanttopetthem!

sitting and pondering