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J. R. R. Tolkien: no, my books aren't about the war I experienced. It's just a story

J. R. R. Tolkien's works: you cannot go home, war ends entire bloodlines, you are mourning the death of your brother alone, you dug into the earth and permanently scored the land, you cannot explain what you have been through, you cannot go home, "that wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life", leaving the women behind does not save them, the young die first, you cannot go home, the parent will bury their child, you have lost the wives and you will never connect with them again, "how shall any tower withstand such numbers and such reckless hate?", you are not the same, you cannot go home, you can never go home, your father will only side with those he sees as worthy bloodlines and you cannot change his mind, it is more meaningful Not to kill, sometimes your sacrifice accomplishes nothing, you cannot go home

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a good sailor will always return to the sea

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When I am appointed to represent a child, my first action is to separate them from their parents and tell them the following things:

1. I am their attorney. I do not work for their parent or the judge or the cops. I don’t care what any of those people want.

2. My job is to listen to them and try and make what they want happen in court. (At this point I make a joke about how most people want me to get them out of trouble but if someone wanted to be in trouble I would do my best.)

3. What they tell me is confidential. It goes nowhere unless they agree to it. (If old enough, I talk to them about mandatory reporters, and how I’m a mandatory non reporter.)

4. I will give them lots of advice because I’ve been doing court for a while and I know a lot about it, and they don’t. It’s all really complicated, and if they don’t understand what’s happening it’s my job to help them figure it out.

5. They will make the decisions. (At this point I usually have to reassure them that I’ll help, I’ll speak for them in front of the judge, and I’ve got their back. It’s scary to have an adult say you’re in charge, most of the time.)

6. I tell them I know it’s absolutely wild to have some stranger come in here and say “hey, you can trust me!” and that I get if they don’t believe everything right away, because I plan to show them through my actions and my words that I’ll fight for them.

7. But nonetheless, I will treat them like a person who can make decisions, because they are living their life and I am not.

I do not:

Pretend to be cool.

Try to be their BFF.

Overwhelm them with detail.

Let their parents in the room until the kid asks for them. (I provide openings for this, and ask if the kid wants their parent to help them remember and understand.)

I want to emphasize I went into this job knowing nothing about how to interact with vulnerable populations, especially children. The training was minimal, and my role means that I can literally walk into a facility and get an unmonitored visit with a minor client one on one.

In my years of practice I have never felt threatened by a child, even one that was “violent” and “unstable.” It turns out just saying “hi, I think you’re a person with thoughts” is wildly successful? Now people treat me like I have special Child Whisperer powers. My powers are that I ask the child what’s up and I’m not scared to say things that are objectively awkward. I know nothing about anything.

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My dog's really a study in Buddhism. He can see my muffin wrapper and he's miserable. Crying. He needs to eat my muffin wrapper so bad.

I get up and throw it away. He forgets about it immediately and happily goes to sleep.

You are not sad because you do not have a muffin wrapper, my beautiful boy, you are sad because you want the muffin wrapper.

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mother of pearl & abalone tile

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The thing about gay sailors in the Victorian era is that England and America had totally different takes on it. In the british navy they could, and did, literally kill men for having consensual relationships with other men. But in the US navy, even tho John Adams literally copied England's naval regulations when making America's version, he chose to leave out every proscription against sodomy. And no one knows why!!! England was like hmm yes the death penalty and America was like i dont really see how thats my business. And like gay American sailors could still be charged with things like "uncleanliness" or "indecency" (charges that were vague enough to cover a lot of different things) but bc it wasnt specifically forbidden in the regulations "the commanding officers [were given] wide discretion to prosecute, punish, or ignore."*

And by and large US officers seem to have ignored it. We literally have the records of every flogging (the most extreme form of punishment allowed during these specific years) onboard a naval vessel for the years of 1846-1848 and almost all of the cases that involved homosexual activity "unambiguously refer to male/male homosexual activity involving attempted assaults on children, not consensual couplings between adults."* There are also multiple recorded instances throughout the Victorian Era of an American sailor coming forward with a charge of sexual assault and pulling in other sailors or even officers as witnesses who tell their captain yeah i totally saw them and didn't say anything until this sailor told me it was nonconsensual. There are even records recorded by naval recruitment officers of men with extremely explicit gay tattoos being allowed to join the navy. Why did the US navy not care enough to even include it in the regulations while the British navy literally hanged men for it??? Were we so hard up for sailors that John Adams was like bitch we need every gay sailor we can get????

And weirdly enough this was true on American Whaling ships too! In the recorded cases where homosexual activity led to sailors being disciplined (in some cases punishment so mild as just being dropped off their ship at the next port) it was usually in situations where rape was involved and/or there was a high degree of ship disruption related to it (guys getting into a public knife fight for example). Idk I just think thats so interesting especially when America and England were so similar to be so different in this particular area is fascinating

*quotes from Unruly Desires: American Sailors and Homosexualities in the Age of Sail by William Benemann

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The Pitt asks the question, “What do you do when you can’t keep going, but you have to keep going?”

And then each character answers that question.

Robby -> You take it, compress it inside you, & and wait for it to explode. Try to make it so the explosion happens when no one else is around.

Jack -> You have to be vigilant. There is always something on the horizon. You have to give it the space to rear its ugly head and then methodically try to disarm what you can however you can.

Dana -> You do what you always do. You don’t have time for existentialism. There’s too much shit to do. Retirement is within arm’s reach anyway.

Heather -> You’re not in control of anyone but yourself, so you might as well embrace that reality.

Frank -> You’re playing an unwinnable game, so you might as well do whatever you can to get through it, or, if you can swing it, to get ahead. Life won’t stop for you, so you can’t stop for it.

Samira -> You can’t go back, and you can’t see the future. You can only be in the present. Nothing matter except the moment you’re in right now.

Mel -> You know that your ways of handling things are viewed as unconventional at best and weird at worst. But if you’re quiet and don’t draw attention to yourself, you’ll be fine.

Trinity -> You’re fucked up, and so is everyone else. But at least you’re smart enough to understand that. Anyone who says they’re not is a liar, and there is no one you hate more than a liar.

Victoria -> You can worry about what you want and need later. What you want and need isn’t important right now.

Dennis -> You can’t do everything, but you can try.

Cassie -> You can’t save everyone, but you can try.

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something i've noticed that has become really annoying in the past 10 years or so is this fad of what i've been calling, for lack of a better word, "structural whataboutism." it's that thing where, when faced with a concrete, resolvable problem in your community, your answer is to blame it on a vast, unsolvable issue of structural inequality and then throw up your hands. "there's trash all over the ground in this corner of the park" becomes "well, that's where MEN OF COLOR congregate after their 12-HOUR GRAVEYARD SHIFTS and i'm not going to support a CARCERAL SOLUTION to a CAPITALISTIC PROBLEM. WE NEED TO ELIMINATE POVERTY AND THE SUBJUGATION OF THE WORKING CLASS" and it's like okay but sis. someone still has to go pick up the trash. we don't need a carceral solution, we need more trash cans. you're not going to eliminate poverty and the subjugation of the working class and even if ya did, there would still be trash on the ground. how any of this passes for radicalism within their peer groups i simply don't understand. it's radical laziness more than anything else

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Louis: *Talking about his life experiences as a vampire*

Armand: Louis was-

Daniel: *Pauses the recording*

Daniel: I’m sorry, was I talking to you? No, Louis, let me talk. Correct me if I’m wrong Armand, Amadeo or whatever the hell your name is, but the last time I checked this was “Interview with the Vampire” not “Interview with the Vampires”. Please, show me in writing where I asked for your input or opinion. Because every time I ask Louis a question, something in your prehistoric vampire muddled brain thinks that I’m talking to you. I have an idea, why don’t you take that cheap outfit of yours and those freaky halloween eyes glowing in the back of your head and get out of here? No Louis, I’m not going to calm down, because if he wants to talk, let’s talk about San Francisco………oh now everyone’s silent? That’s what I thought.

Daniel: *Resumes the recording*

Daniel: So Louis, you were talking about how hallucination Lestat’s hair looked in the moonlight-

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Louis dressing Lestat:

Armand dressing Lestat:

Lestat dressing himself:

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maybe your computer doesn’t work because you fucked it with your ponis

i did not fuck that computer with my ponis

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