empty-aesthetic-princess

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Birthday Party (Eisuke Oneshot/Request)

otomaticallyobsessed said to empty-aesthetic-princess: Hi! Just found your blog and spent all day scrolling down it 😍😍 can I request #43 for Eisuke? I love how you write him!

Aww thank you so much! Here you go (:

Prompt selections taken from here:

43. “Frost the damn cupcakes.”

It was the morning of our daughter’s 3rd birthday party and I was frantically running around the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the food I had prepared for everyone. My handsome husband stood in the doorway watching me, arms crossed over his chest and an amused smirk on his lips. 

“You know, we could have gotten a catering service to do all this”, Eisuke reminded me for the millionth time. I sighed loudly and turned on the mixer to blend the cupcake icing with food coloring. It was true that I could have hired a whole team to make the food and set up the decorations and basically throw my daughter’s party for me, but that thought never sat well with me. I wanted today to be as special as it possibly could and if that meant I had to run around in a frenzied state for two weeks straight, it was worth it. 

“You could help me instead of just standing there”, I said, finally satisfied with the shade of lavender icing in the mixing bowl. Eisuke chuckled and walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his lips on my neck. 

“The icing looks pretty good”, he murmured in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I don’t understand how even after all this time, he still manages to give me butterflies. 

“Eisuke…” I warned as his hands started exploring my body. 

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“We don’t have time for this.”

“You said you wanted me to help”, he said and slowly started to lift my dress up in the back.  I swatted his hands away and turned around to glare at him.

“I meant helping me with the party”, I said and he grinned widely at me. 

“Helping my beautiful wife to relax is helping”, he murmured and leaned in to kiss my neck again.  I knew I was about 30 seconds away from giving in to his temptation, but I still had so much left to do before the party started. Reluctantly, I pulled away from Eisuke and he sighed exasperatedly. 

“Fine”, he relented. “What do you want me to do?”

“Here, frost these cupcakes.” I hand him the bowl of icing I just mixed and a piping bag, much to Eisuke’s confusion. 

“Isn’t there something easier?”

I giggled as I started placing the prepared food into serving bowls. 

“Eisuke, there’s nothing easier than that. Just put the icing in the bag and pipe it out.”

The perplexed look on his face became more defined as he listened to my instructions. 

“Why can’t I just scoop it onto the top of them?”

“It’s a lot messier that way, and they won’t look very good.”

“What the hell is the point of this bag thing?”

“The icing comes out of the tip at the bottom and it makes a uniform design. It’s honestly not as hard as you’re making it”, I said, swiftly moving around the kitchen.

Eisuke stood silently for a while, staring back and forth from the icing in the bowl to the empty bag in his hand. I never thought I’d see the day the great Eisuke Ichinomiya was faced with something he didn’t know how to do perfectly. I rolled my eyes and walked up to his work station, unceremoniously piling icing into the bag and quickly frosting a cupcake as an example.

“It’s not too late to call a caterer”, he muttered under his breath as I finished.

“Frost the damn cupcakes, Eisuke.”

“You’re a bossy little thing, aren’t you?”, he said and raised an eyebrow in my direction.  I leaned over to kiss his cheek sweetly and batted my eyelashes at him.

“Frost the damn cupcakes, please.” My husband rolled his eyes at me and I tried my best to stifle my laughter as hesitantly performed the task in front of him. 

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Love You More (Ayato Fanfiction)

A/N: Just feeling like some Ayato fluff right about now ♥

I didn’t know why I was feeling like this, but the pit of sadness inside me was only getting bigger. I did my best to function at work but now that I was home, facing my empty apartment was almost too much for me to handle. 

Ayato. I’d give anything to see him right now. 

It had been three weeks since he left and each day had been getting harder and harder for me. I tried to put a brave face on for him the morning he left but I knew he saw right through it. How is it that he can leave for an extended trip and be perfectly okay, while I’m a mess at home without him? 

Suddenly my loneliness is too much for me to bear and I find myself dialing Ayato’s number against my better judgement.

“______? Is everything okay?”

I didn’t expect Ayato to answer, honestly. He’s been so busy for so long promoting his new film and traveling from country to country that I don’t even remember the last time I spoke to him. The sound of his voice makes my heart beat faster and I take a deep breath to try and calm down.

“Yes. I just...miss you. A lot.”

Ayato chuckles on the other end. 

“I miss you too, silly girl. I’ll be home next week. Just be a good girl and wait for me.” 

“You’re on in five, Mr. Hidaka”, a voice in the background calls. My earlier sadness returns almost immediately. What’s wrong with me? He’s about to be on national television, he shouldn’t have to deal with his whiny girlfriend right now.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called”, I whisper into the receiver. 

“You don’t have to apologize, ____.” God, I didn’t realize how much I’d missed his voice. Tears start forming in my eyes and I take a shaky breath inwards. I shouldn’t be doing this to him, it isn’t fair. 

“You don’t need this right now, though. I don’t mean to bother you, I’m sorry.” I try to keep my words from wavering but they do anyways. 

“Baby, you’re not a bother. Please stop thinking that way”, Ayato says and I can hear the worry in his voice. My tears spill out onto my cheeks and I stifle a sob. 

“I’m too needy. You shouldn’t have to deal with it. It’s not your problem that I feel this way.” I start to feel pathetic and I hang my head in my hands. 

“______. Listen to me.”

“Good luck, Ayato. I’m sorry about this. I’ll be fine, I promise”, I say and hang up the phone. My sobs start to wrack my body deeper and deeper, and I hug my knees to my chest. I curl up on Ayato’s side of the bed and bury my face in his pillow, the fact that the smell of his cologne has disappeared from the fabric just depressing me even more. 

------

My alarm wakes me up at 11pm. Oh, that’s right. Ayato’s interview on that late-night show is starting. I groggily sit up and turn the television on, hugging Ayato’s pillow close to me. At least if I can’t be with him right now, I can still see him.

The late-night host comes on the screen, but Ayato isn’t there. 

“As you all know, Ayato Hidaka was scheduled to appear tonight but due to unforeseen circumstances, he won’t be able to make it to the show.”

The audience voices their disappointment and my eyes go wide. What? He was backstage when I called him. What happened? I check my phone and I don’t have any missed calls or texts from him. If something seriously had happened, he would have called me right away, so where is he?

“However, he agreed to show you all this exclusive clip from his movie to make up for that!”, the host announces and the crowd goes wild. I watch the clip with unfocused eyes as I try to figure out why Ayato missed his interview, when my phone rings.

“Ayato?”

“How long are you going to make me wait before you open the door?”

I sit there in shock for only half a second before I’m barreling towards the front door. I open it wide to see Ayato standing there, a bouquet of my favorite flowers clutched in his hand. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask in disbelief.

Ayato shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly and leans against the doorframe. 

“I missed my girlfriend too much.” I smile briefly at his words but the weight of the situation comes down on me hard.

“Ayato, what about the interview? Aren’t you going to get in trouble for leaving like that?” He reaches over and gently strokes my cheek, making my heart skip a beat. I lean slightly into his touch and he shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about all that. I wanted to see you. It was driving me crazy being away from you for that long.”

“But-”

“I said don’t worry about it. I arranged for that clip to be played instead and the studio gave me the go-ahead. I re-scheduled an interview for a few days before the movie premieres, so it’ll create more of a publicity buzz. Besides, I couldn’t have you settle for just seeing me on TV when I know you’d rather have this.”

He closes the distance between us and presses his lips firmly against mine. I moan and quickly wrap my arms around his neck and pull him tighter against my body. We kiss over and over again, and he breaks away first to move his kisses to my neck.

“I missed you more than you’ll ever know. Everything you were feeling earlier when you called me...I was feeling the same way”, he whispers in my ear. Hot tears start to pool in my eyes and blur my vision as I lean back to look at him.

“Really?”

“Of course. I’m just not a crybaby like some people around here”, he says, pinching my cheek. 

I giggle and push his hand away. 

“I love you so much, Ayato.”

He leans down to place a kiss on my forehead, then my nose, both of my cheeks and hovers right over my lips.

“I love you more, ____”, he murmurs, pressing his lips to mine once more.

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Nightly Routine (Mamoru Fanfiction/Request)

one-eyed-captain-kinky said to empty-aesthetic-princess: Basically prompts 4, 116, and 11 where Mamoru sleep fights. So like he punches thing snd knocks them over in his sleep. One night he gives MC a black eye, and she tells him he did it, and he doesn’t believe her. The next night he knees her in the face while they’re sleeping and breaks her nose! MC is dizzy and lots of blood is everywhere so she says, “I swear to god, if i die imma haunt your ass.” Thought it was funny lol, thank you!!

Lol I love it! Coming right up (:

Prompt selections taken from here:

4: “Who gave you that black eye?” 11: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.” 116: “I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”

I’m awakened for the third night in a row to a loud crash on Mamoru’s side of the bed. I groan and lean over his sleeping body to see what he managed to knock over and break this time: a picture of the two of us, frame face down and shattered glass everywhere. 

“Mamoru! You did it again!” I push hard on my boyfriend’s chest, trying to wake him up to no avail. I shake his limp body but he doesn’t react at all. I swear, he’d probably manage to sleep through the apocalypse. I’m just about to get up to clean up the result of his nightly property-damage routine, when he rolls over suddenly and jerks his arm free of the sheets, forcefully sending his outstretched hand directly into my face.

“Shit! What the hell?!”, I yell out in pain but Mamoru remains fast asleep. My hand flies up to the eye that he practically punched and I slap him on the chest again. 

“Mm.” 

I realize that short grumble is probably the only interaction I’ll have with him tonight so I carefully avoid the glass on the floor as I head to the kitchen to put some ice on my throbbing eye. 

-----

I’m cooking breakfast in the kitchen when I see Mamoru out of the corner of my eye - my good eye, for that matter - groggily making his way up to me. 

“What’s with all the glass in the trashcan?”, he asks me and I sigh loudly.

“You broke the picture frame on the nightstand”, I reply bitterly.

“Pretty early to be in a bad mood, sweetheart”. He leans down to try and kiss me as I fully turn to face him. 

“Who gave ya that black eye?” His eyes widen at the sight of my bruised face and I do my best to narrow my eyes at him.

“You did! You keep kicking things over and now you’re starting to hit me, too. I keep telling you that you’re a violent sleeper, and now I have the proof!”

Mamoru stays silent for a while but then he starts chuckling, much to my displeasure. 

“I’ll admit I might have knocked over the picture since it’s on my side, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to sock ya that hard in my sleep”, he says and lights a cigarette. 

“Then who hit me, Mamoru?”, I ask caustically and cross my arms. He chuckles again and blows a cloud of smoke from his lips.

“Honestly sweetheart, you’re so clumsy you probably smacked yourself in the eye.”

I’m seething at this point, but my foul mood only seems to amuse him more. 

“Cute as you are when you’re mad, I have to get going. Ya might want to call off of work. Eisuke’s gonna be pissed if you try to help guests with that black eye.”

He tries to kiss me but I turn my head away in a huff. He chuckles again and settles for kissing my cheek, and then he heads into the bathroom to get ready. 

I realize he’s probably right about work, though. I call Mr. Kenzaki and tell him I won’t make it into work today and then take out my laptop and start searching for video cameras. If he’s not going to believe what I tell him, then I’m going to have to show him. 

-----

Later that night, I have the camera set up across from our bed and hidden away enough so that Mamoru won’t notice it. I’m still not speaking to him as he gets into bed beside me, and he at least has enough sense not to press the issue any further, and it’s only a matter of time before we both drift off to sleep. 

Crash!

I jolt awake to the noise in a panic. It was much louder than the previous crashes, and I lean over Mamoru to see that the entire nightstand has been kicked over. I’m staring at it in awe that not only did he knock over a heavy nightstand, but that the loud noise it produced did nothing to rouse him from his sleep. I lean over a little further to see the extent of the damage when suddenly Mamoru’s knee flies up from under me and connects hard with my nose.

I let out an ear-piercing scream and my hands quickly move to my face. The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever felt and it makes my eyes water instantly. 

“...hm?” I’m surprised that my shriek was enough to cut his hibernation short but the thought passes as I feel something wet and sticky on my hands.

“Oh my god, I’m bleeding!”, I yell and I see Mamoru sit up in bed. 

“What the hell happened?”

“You fucking kneed me in the face!” Mamoru jumps out of bed and runs into the bathroom to get me a towel to hold against my bloody face. He turns on the light and takes in the sight of my injured nose, then his eyes slowly travel down to his knee where his kneecap is red from both the impact and my blood. 

“...I did?”, he asks quietly and I glare at him.

“I got it on camera if you want to watch it!���, I hiss at him as I press the cloth carefully against my nose. The pain is excruciating and I have no doubt in my mind that he broke it. His eyes travel behind him to spot the camera and then his eyes are back on me. 

“Come on, let’s get you to the hospital.” 

He grabs a jacket for me and helps me put a pair of sweatpants on. I go to stand up and the room immediately starts spinning and I plop back down on the bed. Blood is all over my nightshirt and the sheets and it continues to steadily flow from my face.

“I swear to God, Mamoru. If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass”, I say shakily.

He smiles slightly at my absurdity and quickly gets me dressed and ready to leave. 

“You’re not going to die, kid. Just put as much pressure on that nose as you can.”

I sigh and follow his advice, slowly feeling the blood flow start to cease.

-----

I’m staring at an X-Ray of my shattered nose and gingerly touching the bandages on my face. I haven’t spoken to Mamoru since we left for the hospital and I know the silence between us is upsetting him. I wince at the pain as my fingers probe a particularly tender spot on my nose, and I hear my boyfriend sigh from where he’s sitting. 

“Look, sweetheart. I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”

I slowly turn my head and face him head-on. 

“A lot of things aren’t exactly fair right now”, I mutter darkly. He runs a hand through his hair nervously. 

“I’m sorry. I really am. You know I’d never want to hurt you, especially like this. And it’s not that I didn’t believe you about the black eye before. I just didn’t want to think that I could cause you pain like this. I feel terrible, honestly.”

I listen to his words in silence, still staring daggers at him. 

“There’s only one solution for all of this”, I say to him. “You’re not allowed to sleep anymore. Ever.”

He searches my expression but I keep my face stoic. He sighs and after a minute, he nods his head.

“Alright, sweetheart. I won’t sleep anymore, if that’s what it’ll take for you to forgive me.”

I briefly think about Mamoru giving up his afternoon naps in the penthouse and staring wide-eyed in exhaustion at the other bidders and I start to smile. I know it was a ridiculous request to begin with, but I know that he would have actually tried to stay awake if that meant I wouldn’t be mad at him anymore. I know how much he cares for me and how much I mean to him, and that he would never purposefully hurt me in any way. 

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll forgive you”, I say, letting my expression soften. Mamoru slowly grins at me and gently places a few kisses on my cheeks. 

“By the way, I’m going to have to show that video to Mr. Ichinomiya. He’s never going to believe that you’re the reason I need to take off work for a week so I need to show him proof.”

Mamoru sighs heavily and nods his head. 

“I’ll also need to show Baba and Ota because they won’t believe me either.” He rolls his eyes and I giggle. 

“...never gonna hear the end of this”, he grumbles as I grin up at him. 

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

It doesn’t matter if your writing/art didn’t get the notes you were expecting or comments you were hoping for. Keep it up, track your progress and be proud because that piece of art is your own- you created that.

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

When you’re playing KBTBB and it goes from casual happy music to sexy jazz music

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

I Prefer Blondes (Soryu Drabble/Request)

one-eyed-captain-kinky said to empty-aesthetic-princess: I love requesting from you, is there a limit? Haha. May I request 113 with Eisuke or Soryu where he overhears MC talking to Sakiko and Chisato about liking guys with blonde hair so he dyes his hair bright yellow blonde? But it’s MC talking about hot Korean actors and he totally misunderstood. Lolol Thank you so much!

Nah this HAS to be Soryu, because just imagineeeee how much that bleach would fuck up his black hair if he died it blonde omg. Poor baby ;D and when it comes to requests from you, the limit does not exist! ♥

Prompt selections taken from here:

113: “I prefer blondes.”

I’m on my way out of the Tres Spades and making my way across the crowded lobby when I spot _____ talking excitedly to her co-workers and I smile. Her reactions to the world around her are always so honest and it’s a refreshing thing to witness. I’ve never met someone who wears their emotions on their sleeve quite like she does. I decide not to interrupt their conversation as I pass by, unnoticed by the trio, but I overhear  _____’s next sentence and halts my steps. 

“All I’m saying is that I’d find him a lot more attractive if his hair wasn’t so dark.”

I frown and find myself leaning in closer to hear their conversation. What’s wrong with my hair color? One of the girls rolls her eyes at _______. I think her name is Sakiko, if I’m remembering correctly. 

“You’re just too picky, I swear. He’s totally hot with dark hair!”

“I’m not saying he’s not hot; he’d just look much better with lighter hair. I prefer blondes”, ____ says and shrugs her shoulders. The other girls giggle and I feel my scowl getting deeper. She’s never mentioned that she disliked my appearance before, but maybe she thought it would hurt my feelings if she did? 

I catch a glimpse of the large clock in the lobby and realize I’m going to be late for my meeting at the Ice Dragons headquarters. Reluctantly, I stop eavesdropping on my girlfriend and pensively walk along the sidewalk. 

Usually I’d never concern myself with something as trivial as my hair color, but the thought of _____ disliking something that I could easily change fills me with a strange emotion. 

“Sor!”

What else doesn’t she like about me? What else isn’t she telling me? Is she still happy with me even though my hair is black?

“Sor! Hey!”

I look up and notice Baba standing outside the convenience store he (for some reason) decides to work, a concerned look on his face.

“I’ve been calling for name forever! What’s got you so distracted?”, he asks me. I take a look inside the open door of his store and suddenly the desire to make _____ happy outweighs my insecurities as I meet the thief’s gaze. 

“Do you carry hair dye here?” I ask, and Baba doesn’t bother to hide the shock on his face.

------

God, what the hell did I do?

I’m staring at myself in the mirror trying to get used to my current appearance, but I don’t even recognize myself. My new bleach-blonde hair is a shocking difference than how it was before, and it’s like my eyes can’t fully adjust to it. 

This? She finds this more attractive? I honestly can’t wrap my mind around it but if this is what will make her happy, I guess I’ll just have to get used to it. 

“Soryu! I’m home”, ______’s bright and cheery voice echoes through my suite and I take a deep breath and go out to meet her. 

“I’m sorry I took so long. I had to go to two different stores because the first one was out of the brand of rice I like, and then-”

She stops mid-sentence as she finally looks up from putting the groceries away. 

“What...what did you do to your hair?”, her voice is barely above a whisper.

“Is it not blonde enough? I had to do it a few times to get it this color, but I guess I could do it one more time.”

“No!”, she screams and runs up to me. Her eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen them and I’m not understanding her reaction at all. Shouldn’t she be happy right now? 

“Soryu, why did you do that? Did you lose a bet to Baba and Ota or something?”

I stare into her eyes, completely dumbfounded. 

“I did this for you”, I say and her perplexed expression mirrors mine. 

“Why on Earth would you do this for me?”

“I...I overheard you talking to your friends today”, I say, turning away as my cheeks start to heat. I hate admitting that I eavesdropped on her, but she’s still not understanding my motives behind my change in hair color. 

“You prefer blondes”, I grumble and her shock turns into...amusement. She’s desperately trying not to laugh and she’s biting her lip so hard to prevent her giggles that she might break the skin.

“What? What the hell is so funny?” 

“Soryu. I wasn’t talking about you. The girls and I were discussing that new Korean drama that we’re all hooked on and I was talking about the main actor. He would look better blonde, not you.” 

The color drains from my face as her words sink in and I realize how badly I jumped to conclusions. 

“Oh...” I say, and she takes my face in her hands, her tiny frame still shaking from her laughter. 

“I would never want you to change anything about your appearance. I’m attracted to you just the way you are, Soryu. Well, the way you were.”

Her words take away my earlier self-consciousness, although I could do without her continued giggling at my unfortunate mistake. 

“Are you going to keep laughing at me or help me fix this?” She stops laughing but keeps the jubilant smile on her face as she kisses me sweetly on the lips and then takes out her cell phone to make a call.

“Hi, Baba! Listen, can you bring me some hair dye? No...black this time”, _____ says into the receiver and the fit of laughter returns as I look away and sigh. 

I’m never eavesdropping on her again. 

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Lmfaooo all your notifications blew up my phone and totally made my day! ;D

Thanks for the love (: ♥

ok so

i thought that ive read almost all kbtbb fics right

i wAS WRONG HAH IM A DUMB BITHC

but shisterz, im so glad i was wrong bwc i JUST discovered @empty-aesthetic-princess and goddamnit i lOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM. MY DUDEZ THE FICS R SO GR8 HOLY SHIT PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS CHECK THEM OUT I BEG U

u won’t be disappointed, and that’s promise by yours truly

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Over and Over Again (Soryu Fanfiction/Request)

rose-of-yonezawa said to empty-aesthetic-princess: Hello! I stumbled upon your blog and loved your piece on Mamo 😂 May I please request a prompt for Soryu with Numbers 12 and 88

Anonymous said to empty-aesthetic-princess: Hi I love your writing!! Can you do a fluff head cannon for Soryu. Whatever you want just need some happiness and Soryu is my favorite. Thanks :)

I’m gonna put these two together and hope it turns out okay! Not gonna lie, there’s some angst in the middle but it’s fluffy at the end, I swear! (:

Prompt selections taken from here:

12: "I'm pregnant." 88: "After everything...I'd still choose you."

I tapped my spatula on the side of the frying pan anxiously as I waited for Soryu's omelette to finish cooking. I had thought long and hard for three days about how to tell him I was expecting our first child but every time I planned to do it, something got in the way. Soryu and I had discussed having a family before we got married and I knew he'd be ecstatic about it. I just wanted to tell him in the perfect way and in the perfect moment but as the days quickly passed by, I knew the only thing that mattered was that I stop worrying about everything else and just tell him. 

I plated Soryu's omelette and set it down in front of him. I watched him enjoy his breakfast in silence for a moment as I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. 

"Soryu, I have something to tell you."

My husband raised his head and stared at me with intense gray eyes, his expression becoming more and more concerned with each second. 

"What's wrong?", he asked and I smiled slightly. 

"Why do you always assume something's wrong?", I asked gently and he raised an eyebrow at me curiously. 

"Force of habit", he muttered, preparing to take another big bite of his omelette.

"I'm pregnant", I said quickly and time seemed to stop. Soryu's forkfull of fluffy eggs hung in mid-air as his eyes searched my face, perhaps to see if I was kidding or not. 

You...you're pregnant?", he asked in disbelief and I slowly nodded my head. In a flash, Soryu's fork clanged against the ceramic dish and his lips were crushed against mine. I giggled against the kiss, caught off-guard by his enthusiastic reaction. I wrapped my arms around his neck and twined my fingers in his un-gelled hair. 

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?", he asked once we pulled away from each other.

"Soryu, it's way too early for that! I just found out about it", I said, laughing. I could see his eyes calculating things way too far into the future and I knew he was starting to worry about anything and everything. I took his face in my hands, glancing at the beautiful wedding ring he placed on my finger two years ago. 

"We'll take everything one day at a time, okay?" My words brought a slight blush to his cheeks and he smiled softly at me. 

"You've made me the happiest man in the world, _____"

Soryu pressed his lips to mine again, his hands travelling down to my stomach to rest them there protectively. 

-----

"I'm not going to ask you again, bitch! You're gonna give me the information I want or you and that bastard inside you are going to die in this room!", the man screams at me as he slaps me across the face again, harder this time. Tears are welling in my eyes but I refuse to give into him, sitting up as straight as I can in the chair I'm handcuffed to. Thankfully, he hasn't aimed his frustration at my swollen belly yet. I don't think he has the heart to hurt my baby. Yet, at least. I silently send my thoughts to my precious little man. Don't worry, sweetheart. Your Daddy will be here soon. He won't let anything happen to you. 

Another hand slap rains down on my face and a sharp yelp escapes my lips. The man grins down in sadistic satisfaction as he finally breaks the silent treatment I was giving him. I try to remain focused on happier things: my wedding day, that morning nine months ago when I told Soryu I was carrying our child, but those memories are pushed further and further away with every loud, resounding slap that echoes in the darkened room. 

The man raises his hand to hit me again and I close my eyes to try to brace myself for it, but the sound of the door being kicked down makes them fly open again. 

"Touch my woman again and I'll make you wish you were never born", Soryu's menacing voice comes from the doorway. My shoulders slump in relief and I smile at the irony: the sound of Soryu threatening someone's life is all I need to hear to make me feel safe from harm. 

The Ice Dragons file into the room and tackle my kidnapper to the ground as Soryu makes quick work of my handcuffs to release me. I fall forward into his arms and he pulls me tight to his chest, his heartbeat pounding against my ear. 

"Are you okay, baby?", he murmurs and strokes my hair soothingly.

"Yes, Soryu. We're both okay", I say and pull back to look at him. His eyes darken as he looks at my face, his fingertips grazing over where the man hit me. The skin around my right eye and cheek are tender, and I know there's probably going to be a bruise there. I flinch slightly at the contact and he curses sharply under his breath. 

"I'm so sorry, _____", he whispers to me. I'm about to tell him he has nothing to apologize for, when a strange sensation pulls deep inside my abdomen. The adrenaline I felt earlier was now gone, and it must've have brought on my labor unexpectedly. I look up at Soryu with wide eyes and let out a sharp breath.

"I think my water just broke", I murmur to my husband, who looks down at my stomach with a frantic look on his face. 

"Samejima! Bring the car around!" he yells behind him and he carefully helps me up from the chair. 

-----

Ten hours of labor later, Soryu is holding a beautiful baby boy tightly in his arms as I lovingly look up at them from my hospital bed. Ryusei's tiny fingers are in a fist around Soryu's finger and the sight brings joyful tears to my eyes. He's the spitting image of his handsome father and I can't believe how lucky I am to have both of them in my life. 

"You did so well back there", Soryu says after a moment. He carefully sits down at my bedside the large armchair and meets my exhausted gaze.

"For a moment, I was worried he wasn't ever going to come out", I say with a breathless laugh. 

"I meant before that", he whispers. A sad expression forms on his face as his unfocused eyes remember the ordeal I went through before delivering our child. 

"I'm so sorry, baby. I hate that you're constantly put in danger, but now I put our son in that same position." I gingerly place my hand on his arm and I can see all of his emotions reflected back at me in his eyes: regret, guilt, anguish. My heart lurches in my chest. He shouldn’t be feeling any of those things, especially not now.

"Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault", I say to him as I reach over to carress my newborn son's tiny face as he dozes in Soryu's arms. 

"We're both safe and happy because of you, Soryu. You saved us, and I know you'll always be there to do that. I love you so much and I've never felt so happy in my entire life. It doesn't matter what I've been through because I'd do it all again just to be with you. After everything...I'd still choose you."

Soryu blushes a little and smiles at me. 

"I'd choose you too, _____. Over and over again.”

He reaches over slowly to meet my lips in a kiss, but Ryusei stirs in his sleep and coos loudly in protest at the sudden movement. 

We both chuckle at our baby boy and Soryu leans into kiss my forehead sweetly.

"I guess that'll have to do for now," he says and sighs, slowly rocking our bundle of joy back and forth in his arms.

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Winter Wonderland (Baba Drabble/Request)

Anonymous said to empty-aesthetic-princess:Hello, could I get prompt number 47 for Mitsunari Baba please?

Of course you can! P.S. I wanted this to be longer but I hit a writing wall lol :( I hope it’s still alright though ♥

Prompt selections taken from here:

47:  “I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”

l'm staring out the window of the master bedroom at the snow-covered trees around us as Baba lights the logs in the large brick fireplace behind me. A light dusting of snow is starting to fall and I smile at the gorgeous sight. We'll be spending the next few days here for our honeymoon in this enormous and secluded log cabin near the mountains, and I couldn't be more excited. Mr. Ichinomiya had let us borrow his private jet to fly from our wedding ceremony straight to the small airport a few miles away from here, and Baba drove us the rest of the way in a rental car. The next cabin was about 20 minutes away, and being alone like this with my new husband was like a dream come true. 

Baba walks over to me after starting the fire and encircles me in his arms, his hands gliding slowly over the fabric of my white dress. I sigh contently as he sweeps my curled hair to one side and traces kisses down my neck. 

"You looked so beautiful tonight, _____" he murmurs and I turn around to face him. He's smiling down at me looking ridiculously handsome in his black tuxedo and I reach up to wrap my arms around his neck. 

"I can't believe we're actually married", I say and he chuckles, pulling me close to him.

"I knew I wanted to marry you that first night, princess", he tells me and I roll my eyes. I think back to the unconventional start to our relationship: the IVC we attended together, the many glasses of champagne we shared, the look on both of our faces when we woke up in bed together...

Baba smiles at my expression and reaches up to run his fingers through my hair.

"Alright, maybe not that night", he says. I giggle softly as he continues. 

"I honestly didn't think anything would come of it. I knew you were beautiful and I was ecstatic to have shared a night with you, but I thought that would be the end of it. I thought it was a one-night stand...and now we're married."

"I'm so happy we are", I whisper to him and he takes my left hand from around his neck to kiss my wedding ring, never taking his eyes off of mine. 

"I love you so much, ____" he murmurs to me and a faint blush decorates my cheeks at his words. Even after all this time, his sweet words still give me butterflies. 

"I love you too, Baba.”

He leans down and kisses me sweetly as the snow continues to gently fall outside. The fireplace crackles loudly and warms the room around us as we celebrate our first night as husband and wife.

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Being a fic writer like

Friend: How’s the writing going? You’ve been at it for hours

Me:

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Get to Know the Writer!

Thanks for the tag, @lin-ful! (:

1. It’s the end of the world (?). You don’t feel fine. You need to burn books to stay warm. Which book off of your shelf burns first? My Twilight series can go first, then my extra copies of my Harry Potter books that I acquired somehow. Honestly I wouldn’t mind burning any of my favorites because I have them pretty much memorized at this point but my Series of Unfortunate Events books would be DEAD LAST because those are my precious babies and I’d burn myself before I burned those. Okay, maybe not really, but still. Lol. 

2. If your writing could convey a message that you think desperately needs to be heard, what would be it? There’s so many that come to mind, honestly. Words have the power to educate, persuade, and empower and if I could use mine to help make this world a better place, I think I’d most want to convey a message of acceptance; not just for those around you but for yourself. I think working on bettering parts of yourself that you can change but also learning to accept the flaws and imperfections that you cannot is so important. Tolerance for those around you is equally as important, but it’s definitely easier to love those around you if you love yourself first.

3. Has an OC ever said something that surprised you? None of my OCs that I’ve written have really said anything surprising, since I’m the one who wrote the dialogue. But every so often, I’ll surprise myself with the character development that I choose to go with. (Good characters will do bad things, bad ones will redeem themselves, etc.) It doesn’t happen very often but occasionally it will. I like exploring the depths of all my characters, and just as real life is unpredictable, so are the lives and decisions of my characters.

4. Do you collect things writing or reading related? Something that supplements your ~process~? I have an extensive collection of pens and highlighters that I use for writing my plot outlines and any poems or short stories or dialogues that pop into my head. I also have a ton of writing journals that I end up losing, then buying new ones, then finding the old ones. My goal is to fill up at least one in my lifetime, and to stop buying new ones until I do. (Take a guess at how much progress I’ve make towards this goal. Lmao.)

5. A celebrity author you admire loves one of your books and their praise will appear in the next edition. Now they’ve written a new book, but… it wasn’t your cup of tea. Their publisher wants a blurb about it. Do you tell the truth, or manufacture polite praise? Ah, a moral dilemma.  Writing is at the end of the day, an art form. Art can be interpreted in many ways by many different people, and my opinions might differ from the author’s. I’d try to be as honest as possible, but never malicious or hurtful. Constructive criticism is meant to help someone and it doesn’t work if you’re just trash-talking someone’s work. I’d give my honest thoughts on the work, but still make sure to give my praise of the author themselves. Everyone can have a favorite singer or band but that doesn’t mean you have to like every song they’ve done, and this also doesn’t take away from their talent or success in any way. It’s the same with writing. Some stories might be hit or miss, but that doesn’t mean someone is a bad writer. Some people prefer tea over coffee and that’s okay (:

6. BOOM, MAGIC! You are sucked into one of your worlds. The only way to break the spell is to convince at least three OCs that you are their creator and the creator of their world. How would you try to do it? Oof, if it was one of my original stories, I’d just tell them all their secrets they’ve never told anyone and stuff like that, to both convince them and freak them out lol. But if I was sucked into one of the Voltage worlds that I write fics for, WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO LEAVE KBTBB?! Do you know how badly I’ve wanted to dive head-first into Eisuke’s cushy-ass king sized bed? Yeah sure, my life would be constantly in danger blah blah, but I’d always get conveniently saved right at the last minute and I’d know that already, so I’d be chillin’.

7. You’re stuck having one of your original villains over for dinner. How does it go? He’d be so busy bragging about how great he is that he wouldn’t even eat, lol. I don’t know why all my villains end up being almost exactly like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, personality-wise. ;D

8. Has writing benefited you in any way? Yes, so much. I deal with a lot of issues in my personal life and constantly struggle with my anxiety, so to have an outlet like this where I can escape to another world and tailor it to my own preferences is really relaxing for me and helps take my mind off of everything. Some days I’ll write for hours on end and some days I can only manage a paragraph, but anytime I get to put my thoughts into written words is beneficial for me. ♥︎

9. You discover that whatever you write about comes to pass/becomes reality. After securing your own comfort, what do you write? Eisuke buys me a castle for my birthday like he did for MC and then pays off all my debt before we cuddle in the aforementioned cushy-ass king sized bed. 

10. Chosen pen name? Uhhh I have no idea. Lol that’s something I’ve never even thought about. Probably something with “princess” in it because both this blog and my personal blog have that in the title lol (: 

Tagging: Everyone I wanted to tag has been tagged already, so I don’t want to bug them! Haha ;D ♥︎

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

people who dedicate their time, effort, and love to write for a character who isn’t even their favorite are the real mvps of our time 

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

I wish content creators would stop apologizing for creating content.

Stop apologizing for doing things we love.

Stop apologizing for perceived shortcomings. We probably love those too.

Instead, of “Sorry I’m a trash can on fire who can’t get anything done on time,” maybe go with “I’m so happy you’re excited for new content, I am too! When my muse gets back, I’m back to work.”

We want content creators to be just as happy creating as we are consuming. Thanks for all you do ♡

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Nightmares - Eisuke/Soryu Request

Anonymous said to empty-aesthetic-princess: Would it be possible for you to write a scenario where each soryu and eisuke have a nightmare about mc

As you wish! (:

Eisuke

“What’s it going to be, Ichinomiya? Your money or your woman?”, the masked man screams at me. My eyes pan down to my fiancee, tied to a chair and bleeding from her temple where the man hit her hard with the butt of his revolver. He was going to pay dearly for hurting her. 

“I don’t make deals with kidnappers”, I say simply. He grips ____ by the hair and yanks her backwards, pressing the gun to her head. Her body remains still and passive but her eyes show the fear that’s she’s desperately trying to hide. Hang in there, baby. Soryu and Mamoru are on their way. 

Right on cue, my reinforcements burst through the door and wrestle the masked man to the floor. I start to run towards _____ but suddenly a shot rings out in the large warehouse, echoing in my ears. My eyes whip over to the man on the floor and realize in horror that Soryu and Mamoru couldn’t get his gun away from him in time. My fiancee gasps in pain, takes one last look at me and slumps over in her chair. 

Time seems to stand still as I watch the tension leave my fiancee’s body and the masked man starts to laugh, the wretched sound getting louder and louder.

-----

“Eisuke! Eisuke, wake up!”

I feel someone shaking me violently and my eyes fly open in a panic. I’m staring up at the ceiling in my suite and suddenly ____’s worried face comes into my view. Relief washes over my entire body and helps to calm my erratic heartbeat as I take a few deep breaths.

“Are you okay?", she whispers quietly. “You were screaming. Did you have a nightmare?” 

I can’t answer. I just stare up at her, unbelievably thankful that she’s still here with me. The look of concern doesn’t leave her eyes as I roll us over so I’m hovering over her body. 

I bury my face in her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her and close my eyes. She wraps her arms around me and holds me gently, but even this isn’t enough to shake the uneasiness I feel. I want more of her. I want to feel every inch of her. I need to know that she’s really here.

I pull back to gaze at her intensely and she widens her eyes as she stares back at me.

“I need you, baby”, I murmur to her, my voice thick with desire. She assesses my expression for a moment and then slowly nods her head. I know she doesn’t know what’s going on in my head but she knows exactly how to make it better. 

“I’m all yours, Eisuke”, she whispers back and I feel tears brimming in my eyes. I’m overcome with a mixture of emotions as I hide my face from her and start planting kisses on her neck and chest. I show my beautiful girl how much she means to me all night, holding her tight to my body and I don’t let her go until the sun rises. 

Soryu

I take in the disheveled state of my suite for exactly half a second before my gun is drawn. The door is hanging off the hinges and furniture’s turned over everywhere. Broken wine glasses cover the kitchen floor and papers are scattered all around. But I could care less about all that. I search the entire suite and my blood begins to boil. Who did this and where have they taken my fiancee?

I see a note laying in the center of the room, and my stomach turns when I see it’s covered in blood. Oh God, it better not be hers. I crumple the note into my pocket and head to the address that’s written on it, keeping my finger tightly on the trigger of my gun. 

The address leads me to an abandoned shack outside the city and I waste no time in kicking the door down. ______ is laying on the floor, clutching her side and bleeding from her head. They must have hit her in the ribs and threw her down onto the concrete. These bastards must have a death wish, and I’m more than happy to oblige that. 

A man lurking in the shadows calls my name but I don’t look at him. I keep my eyes fixed on the love of my life, who’s trembling with fear as she looks back at me. My whole body begins to tremble in anger and I finally speak.

“What do you want?”, I ask the figure in the shadows, my menacing tone filling the entire room. 

There’s a long pause and then the man starts to laugh.

“To hurt you”, he says and then aims his gun at _____. I don’t have time to react before a loud bang stops me dead in my tracks.

-----

“Soryu!”

I jolt upright, sweat beading on my forehead and down my back, and I realize that I’m laying in my bed. I quickly glance around the room and see that the room is perfectly in order and hadn’t been ransacked like it was in my nightmare. I start to relax the tension in my body until I see a vase shattered on the floor, and feel my earlier fear begin to rise up inside me again.

“Soryu”, ____ calls me again and I instinctively move my body in front of her defensively. 

“Where did he go? Did you see who did that?”, I ask her, about to jump out of bed and go after the intruder. 

“Soryu! You did that!”, she says loudly, shaking my arm. My gaze travels to my other hand and sees it tightly gripping my gun, smoke still traveling upwards from the barrel. I quickly flip the safety on and set it down on the nightstand. I lay my head in my trembling hands and try to calm myself down, while ____ places her delicate hand on my back. 

“It’s okay. It was only a dream”, she whispers, her soothing voice removing the images of my nightmare from my mind. She places her hands on either side of my face to turn me to look at her, and her anxious expression brings me out of my thoughts and back to the present moment. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up”, I mutter to her and she pulls me into her embrace. She rests my head on her chest and slowly starts to run her fingers through my hair. I never knew my life was missing something until I felt her unconditional love, and the thought of ever living without it was something I never wanted to have to experience. 

“You don’t have to apologize”, she coos in my ear. “I never liked that vase anyways”. 

I chuckle and look up at my beloved woman. She laughs quietly and I know for as long as I live, I’ll never get tired of looking at that beautiful smile. 

I pull her into my body and kiss her gently, replacing all the negative thoughts floating in my head with images of _____.

“I love you so much”, I whisper against her lips and she smiles again.

“I love you more, Soryu.”

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Jealousy (Eisuke Fanfiction/Request)

bat-yo-us said to empty-aesthetic-princess: it seems that all I've ever request from you is angst, sorry about that ^^; okay how about a scenario where Eisuke comes back from a business trip and when he reach the penthouse he hears mc moaning butttt there is also a man moaning with her ( how about soryu ) dun dun dun!!! Eisuke thought she is cheating but in fact the moaning is from her having a delicious batch of chocolates waffles that she made lolololol,

Your requests are always so awesome, even the ones that make me cry! But this one is probably my favorite request honestly because it makes me giggle just thinking about it lol ;D

I stifle a yawn as I make my way up the stairs to my suite. The London sun is barely beginning to shine through the penthouse windows, bathing the room in a soft yellow light. These back-to-back business meetings have been exhausting, and it didn't help that they were all overseas. I had been gone for two weeks and since things were fairly busy here, I couldn't take _____ with me. I'd never admit it to her, but bringing her along on my trips always made them more enjoyable. I've been to every city in Japan countless times but seeing the sights through her bright, excited eyes made each trip seem like the first. I'll definitely have to make arrangements with Kenzaki to bring her along next time.

Another yawn escapes past my lips and suddenly I'm craving the taste of her coffee.Not to mention, the taste of her. I know it's early and she has the day off, but a selfish part of me wants to treat her to an Eisuke Ichinomiya wake-up call. I just love how sexy she is in the morning, the way she moves under my touch, the sleepy way she calls my name, the sound of her moan making me want to -

The noise stops me dead in my tracks as I reach the door of my suite. That moan. Why is she moaning?

I chuckle slightly. Did my woman really miss me that much? Fleetingly, I imagine her sprawled out pleasuring  herself as she thinks about me, but the sound of a man's voice on the other side of the door makes that thought quickly disappear.

"So good, _____." What. The. Fuck. Who the hell is in my suite making my woman moan like that?!

"Do you really like it, Soryu?", she purrs softly. Soryu?! My heart drops in my chest and I clench my hands into fists. No...there's no way my best friend would betray me like that.

I hear Soryu moan deeply and _____ giggles. I'm starting to see red and my shoulders start to shake. Has she completely lost her mind? I leave for two weeks and she forgets who she belongs to?! Oh, that naughty little girl is due for a punishment. Right after I murder Soryu.

I open the door with a loud bang, the force of it shaking the walls of the suite. "Soryu, you're dead!", I roar loudly, and then I spot them. ______ is sitting next to Soryu at our kitchen island, both of their mouths full of food. A sweet scent hits me hard and I realize that she's made chocolate waffles for breakfast. Soryu's eyebrows raise in surprise, but ____ bounds over to me in an excited flurry, completely ignorning my foul mood.

"Eisuke, you're home!", she squeals and throws her arms around me. I'm still standing in the same position with my fists balled tightly, letting it slowly sink in that I had jumped to a very wrong conclusion, as I watch Soryu's face turn from shock to amusement.

"What's wrong?", _____ asks me innocently as she pulls back to stare at me. Her eyes regard me curiously as I hear my best friend start to chuckle.

"Wait...did you think...did you honestly think...", he says between laughs. My eyes narrow at him and I wrap an arm around _____'s waist possesively.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" I say coldly. Soryu laughs again and piles a few more waffles on his plate before he heads out the door.

"I'll just finish these downstairs. Thanks for breakfast, ____" he says to her and then meets my glare head on and continues to chuckle.

I quickly slam the door in his face and turn on my heel to face my fiancee. She shyly looks up at me, chocolate sauce and flour all over her shirt. I was still irritated, not only at the fact that I had even let the thought of her cheating on me cross my mind, but that Soryu wasn't going to let me forget this for a very long time.

"Why the hell was he here?", I ask her, crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow at her expectantly.

"I wanted to surprise you with a new recipe but I didn't know how it would turn out. I'd never made chocolate waffles before, just regular ones, so I asked Soryu if he wanted to stop by before work and try a couple." I can tell by her earnest expression that she's telling the truth, but it still does nothing to rid the annoyance I feel.

"How many mornings has he been over here?"

"Just today, Eisuke. I promise. I didn't think you'd be home until tomorrow so I thought I'd practice this morning since I have the day off." She walks towards me slowly and looks up at me like a wounded puppy. Oh no, baby. You're not getting off the hook that easily.

"I finished with my work early so I thought I'd come and suprise my woman, only to find her flirting with another man", I say and grab her wrist. I lead her into the bedroom despite her protests and toss her onto the bed, immediately covering her body with mine.

"Eisuke, I wasn't flirting with-mmm." I cut her off with a passionate kiss and hearing her moan against my lips brings my earlier irritation back.

"I don't care what you were doing. I'm the only man you should be moaning in front of", I growl as I quickly begin to remove her clothes. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation and I look down at her beautiful body as I un-button my shirt painfully slow.

"Who do you belong to?", I whisper to her and she whines with need.

"You, Eisuke", she says and writhes beneath me. I take my time with the rest of my clothes and the look of desire in her eyes starts intensifying by the second.

"I can't hear you, baby." I hover over her body, knowing exactly how bad she wants me.

"You, Eisuke! I'm all yours!", she practically screams and I enter her with one swift motion. She moans my name loudly, clinging onto my body and I smirk down at her. Yes baby, that moan is all for me.

-----

Hours later, she's laying on my chest with her long hair splayed out wildly. Her breathing has returned to normal and she raises her head to give me a sweet smile.

"Welcome home, Eisuke", she murmurs, half-dazed. I definitely didn't go easy on her just now, but her reactions let me know that was exactly how she wanted it. She had missed me as much as I missed her. I lean down to kiss her forehead gently and suddenly my stomach growls, startling us both.

"Eisuke, do you want some waffles?", she asks me and giggles. My earlier petulance returns and I scowl at her.

"Wouldn't you rather make them for Soryu?', I grumble. She rolls her eyes and laughs again.

"I'd rather make them for you but if you don't want them, that's fine. How about just coffee?", she asks with a smirk. She knows damn well I can't resist her coffee. I take a deep breath and avoid her gaze, much to her amusement.

"...Fine", I mutter. She smiles and kisses me on the cheek before she gets out of bed and slips a robe over her body. My stomach growls again as I watch her and I swallow my pride. I call out to her and she turns back to look at me.

"...Maybe just one waffle...", I say quietly. She smiles brightly as she takes in my sulking form.

"Yes, Eisuke", she chuckles and heads into the kitchen.

[empty-aesthetic-princess]

Anniversary, Part Two (Baba Angst/Request)

A/N: Just something I worked on a long time ago that I thought would fit perfectly with this request! I’m probably gonna add another part to this, eventually. (;

You can read part one here if you haven’t yet!

It's 2:30 am. I don't understand why you're always on my mind at this time of night. You're the reason for my insomnia, but interestingly enough, you're the subject of my dreams when I finally do get to sleep. Usually they're pleasant dreams that I never wish to wake from, ones where you're in my arms and smiling up at me, ones where I'm kissing your perfect lips, ones where I never hurt you and made you run from me. It seems like my dreams only turn into nightmares when I wake up and realize that things are different between us now. Some other man gets to hold you in his arms and kiss you, and this fact makes me sick to my stomach. It only gets worse when I dwell on the fact that I have no one to blame but myself: my selfish, stupid self. 

I find myself laying on your side of the bed every night now. It's more comfortable for some reason. I swear I can still smell the scent of your shampoo on my pillow. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep but images of you dance behind my eyelids, your beautiful smile, my hands running down your flawless body. You're easily the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on.

My fingers itch to dial your number just to hear your voice one more time but I know you won't answer. I honestly don't blame you. I know how much I hurt you and now some other man gets to clean up the mess I made. Someone else gets to care for you in the ways I couldn't, love you in the ways I should have, and hold you in the ways I wish I could right now. I don't even know what I'd say if you did answer. I'm sorry, I miss you, I regret ever letting you leave. I love you. If only my words could take away the repercussions of my stupid decisions.

God, I wish I had one more chance. I'd tell you all my errant thoughts, foolish impulses and hopeless desires. I'd tell you all my fears and insecurities and show you all of the flaws in my personality. I'd make you understand how I feel, even though I'm not entirely sure of that myself. I'd sing you every song I wish I wrote for you and tell you all the secrets I shouldn't have been keeping. I'd talk for hours and make sure that I didn't leave anything out. I'd tell you everything you ever needed to know and answer every question you've ever had. 

Or maybe I’d stay silent and let my regret speak for itself. I'd give my broken heart a chance to say it’s piece and then let my weary mind tell you it's troubles. I'd share my pain and sorrow and anger and frustration and lay them all out on the table for the world to see. I wouldn't leave any doubt in your mind that I love you, still love you, and always will love you.

I feel my eyes start to water. I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable, so hurt and helpless. I realize with a guilty shudder that this is how you must have felt when you found out I’d cheated on you all those months ago.

It's 3:15 am. I really need to get some sleep. I move back over to my side of the bed, close my eyes and try to push all the thoughts of you to the back of my mind. I don't want to dream anymore.