emthesteves

[emthesteves]

Art??? In this day in age?? [My Fallout 3 Lone Wanderer Lumen]

[emthesteves]

Hi, everyone. No funny jokes this time. I won't go into the details, but I just needed you all to know how broken I am right now. Some pretty awful stuff happened within my family and it's all being dealt with and I'm fine and safe but I'm still gutted. Bear with me if things don't get posted or whatever.

- Emily

[emthesteves]

Ya pretty much

Forklift Yautja on duty!

Carrying all the bodies after unsuccessful hunts, he does his job well!

[emthesteves]

So. I'm back again, hello hello. This is about something I've kinda wanted to talk about for a while.

I don't know about you guys, but my relationship with love is... complicated. I've never been in a relationship, brief or long term. I'm awkward, very shy, and very self conscious, and those things don't tend to work out when it comes to getting someone to date you. Another thing that hinders me? I like older men.

Joke about that all you want, but it's the truth. Older men are my type. And as nice as it can be sometimes, having those crushy feelings, it can also suck, a lot. I've never felt normal as is, but it's just another thing that makes me feel... worse. "It's just a preference!" Yeah, but it's also... pervasive. I don't feel the same type of connections with people my age (romantic, I mean). Probably in relation to my daddy issues, sure, but it's just how I am. And I feel broken because of it. Because, after all, most older men are already married. Or they don't want someone like me.

I know it's such a silly thing, but it sucks feeling like you're out of place. It sucks getting made fun of or being disgusted by. I mean, everybody talks about age gaps, and for good reason. But how do you contend with that when it's what you fall in love with? I don't know. I know it's just "oh haha you like older men" and that a lot of people find them attractive, but... it's not just attraction. It's the people I fall in love with.

Which is why I made the art below. Jack Stauber's "Cupid" represents it well, I think. Used in animation memes past (as all good Playlists should include 😤😤😤), I thought it was fitting. I mean, love is natural, but my version of love is weird and irregular. The person pictured, of course, is me, curled up, being sad.

Sorry about the long winded post. This isn't to get pity or anyone to feel sorry for me or whatever. Just something I've wanted to talk about for a while. Think less of me if you want, I don't mind. Love is hard. I'm not sure I'll ever deserve it 😅.

Refs below the cut

[emthesteves]

I'm still alive. Luckily or unluckily for you, depending on how you feel about me. I started a new job, I'm a third shift forklift operator. I'm ✨️ forklift certified ✨️.

I haven't drawn much of anything, not really because of burnout, but because of the feeling that this platform and the world would be better off without my art. I've been slowly inching back to drawing (thanks @the-laridian and @bisopod for supporting me through that).

My brain has been all over the place. From sad to happy to mushy crush stuff. It's hard. I'm heading to the doctor on the fourth of August to see about anxiety stuff.

Thanks for sticking with me if you have. No judgements if you haven't.

- Emily

(Art under the cut, refs attached after)

Just a guy I work with. Better than nothing.

[emthesteves]

Be nice to yourself, it's cute 3:<

should I color this

[emthesteves]

I know Unity is a game engine, yeah. I presume that's what Godot (in this context) is as well. But yeah, I thought Phoenix Wright for so long, I was so confused 💀

Reading the tags you put on the posts about learning Godot and being able to make games and I had to double take because I am also making a game with someone named Sammy with Godot lol

Freaky!!!

[emthesteves]

helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!

[emthesteves]

Hi it took me a long time to realize you weren't talking about the Phoenix Wright character Godot. I was so incredibly confused 💀💀💀

Reading the tags you put on the posts about learning Godot and being able to make games and I had to double take because I am also making a game with someone named Sammy with Godot lol

Freaky!!!

[emthesteves]

Edible Plants of the Mojave cross stitch - completed!

Edible Plants of the Mojave cross stitch is complete! Stitched on "Baroque" hand dyed fabric.

The pattern is available on Etsy!

[emthesteves]

I got bored so I draw my mutuals Couriers 

@bl4z33467 nameless @noomycatz courier pickle @stressedjester James @emthesteves Lt Clark @psychojetcocktail Mirage @pine0vercoat Colter

[emthesteves]

Fallout Secret Santa - Again!

So. @ezekiel13 hosted a Secret Santa. And I, who loves drawing for others, of course had to contribute. I had @ibbity and I enjoyed drawing their Sole Survivor and Preston! (Gotta love our favorite minute man.)

I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed drawing it :D

[emthesteves]

Here's my gift for the Fallout Spring Secret Santa event, for @emthesteves! From top to bottom, we have: Colonel Autumn, John Henry Eden, their OC Sal, and a mini bonus snapshot of their design for a synth form of Eden.

I hope you enjoy! Thanks again to @ezekiel13 for running the Secret Santa :)

Random extra bonus doodle of Sal's pet, everyone's favourite radroach:

[emthesteves]

u ever wonder if ur associated with a character forever to someone else. like. when ur scrolling ur dash and u see a url u don't recognize and after going to their blog ur like ohhh this is the Character person. yeah ok i remember now.

[emthesteves]

sequel to sucking his flat face saturday

[emthesteves]

sequel to sucking his flat face saturday

[emthesteves]

WHAT FALLOUT 76 DID YALL PLAY?!

can't even remember the last time i tried the style homage thing but modus's quest icon is cute and i'm sick in the head