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jungwon: when i first met you, i thought you were weird and annoying.

sunghoon: and?

jungwon: and you are.

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riki: how many communions does a person have to do before they’ve eaten a whole jesus?

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heeseung: soooo, how’d your date with jungwon go?

sunghoon: *hiding his face in shame* i tried complimenting him, but i couldn’t decide whether to say “you have an amazing smile” or “your eyes are so beautiful.” when he looked at me i panicked and said “you have eyes”

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jay: look, as a straight man, i think—

jake: wait, what did you just call yourself?

jay: … a straight man

jake: oh, so we’re just saying things now?

jake: as a toaster, i—

jay: shut up, jake

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men invented arm-wrestling so they could hold hands and look in each other’s eyes

— sunoo, definitely

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heeseung: i cannot believe the same compassionate god who created weed also invented me going to work in the morning

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jungwon: bitches be like “i’m baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect, like what the fuck do you know about being baby you were forced to grow up from an early age

jungwon: anyways i’m bitches

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sunghoon: what if we went to dinner… not as friends?

jake: AS ENEMIES???

sunghoon:

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jungwon: jay hyung just gave this to me and said, “i feel like you deserve the moon but all i can give you is a rock.”

sunghoon: if you don’t marry him, i will

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heeseung: you do realize there’s a rumor going around that you’re in love with jake, right?

sunghoon: a rumor? are you telling me people are doubting it??

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sunghoon: you call it insane, we call it tuesday

jungwon: it’s thursday

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jay: this is not the time for your shenanigans

jake: it was only a single shenanigan. technically more of a hijink

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riki: when have i done anything rash or irresponsible?

jungwon: i keep a list. it’s alphabetized.

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jay: thoughts?

heeseung: not even one

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jay: you’re on speaker, so behave

jake: or what, you’ll spank me?

belift staff:

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sunoo: that’s ridiculous, sunghoon hyung doesn’t have a crush on me

jungwon: yes he does

sunghoon: yes i do

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sunghoon: everything is a competition

sunghoon: unless i’m losing, then fuck off, not everything is a competition asshole