enamouredsonder-blog

[enamouredsonder-blog]

Queen B In Melbourne

I recently traveled to Melbourne to complete in my first ever International solo Ice skating competition. I know I haven't mentioned my secret talent in any of my previous posts, but those who know me well, know that its a huge part of my single life. Actually its almost a full time relationship in its own right. I love it most days, hate it some days, argue with it every now and again and even   when it causes me grief I know my love for it will be forever. Back to Melbourne, I went over to compete and my stay was very short. But I loved every part of visiting Melbourne again. I stayed in Docklands, right on the water, and what a magnificent view it was. I cant encourage staying around there enough. I ate at two of the restaurants on the water, Berth and Cargo. I really must say the dinner at Berth was amazing, I loved the Harissa spiced chicken with mash. Combine that was a tasty glass of red and the view above and you have a winning combination. The other bonus of staying in Docklands was that it was close to the O'Brien Group Ice skating rink and Harbor town shopping. Not a bad way to spend a few days. Having already been to Melbourne before I have visited most of the other must do tourist destinations including Luna Park, Melbourne Aquarium, Old Melbourne Jail and Dracula's when it was still open. I would recommend any of those locations to visit.  Or you can can catch a tram around Melbourne and soak up all the culture and incredible food that it has to offer. I gained such a lot from completing in Melbourne, I met new skaters, I learnt new information on the sport and competing in an adult artistic event and I even picked up a cute little trophy of a tram to remind me of the trip. I can honestly say that this will not be my last Ice skating trip, I am looking forward to more. I skated to Beyone` "Drunk in Love". I know risky song choice but what fun to add some Hip Hop into the skating world.

Skating around to Queen B was pretty fun, its a far cry from the normal sad, emotive music I choose to compete with. But while on the subject of Queen B, I decided to see how far I would get on Bumble in Melbourne. For those of you not so familiar with Bumble, its been termed "the new tinder". You still swipe right and left. But you only have 24 hours to start a conversation with a match. Great for time wasters. Also only the female can initiate the conversation. When I first downloaded Bumble, I thought it was fantastic. I was starting conversations here there and everywhere. I was talking to interesting babes, then out of no where, the matches died down. The conversations became non existent and too be honest. Kind of boring. It had me wondering if it was payment thing, is my profile to boring, have i matched to many people, are there to many options on there. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! So I decided to Bumble in Melbourne. All I can say is I was matching people left right and center, conversations were happening, guys were replying it was pretty great, except for the fact that I had no time to actually catch up with anyone. I do feel tho, that if the time was there, I could have made it happen. So I ask this? Is the quality of men better in Victoria, or there just more options? Having dated in Perth for this long has made seriously question the pool of options here. I guess I will need to organize another trip to find out. But until then lets see what else Bumble Perth has to offer.

[enamouredsonder-blog]

To My Future Mr>

I know you’re out there, and I haven’t given up hope just yet. There have been many times that I have wanted to. Maybe its naive of me to believe that you could still exist. I want to believe that you are looking for me, the same way that I have been looking for you. Who knows maybe our paths have already crossed. And if so I hope that they cross again.

If or when you do find me, can I ask you to be gentle. See before you it wasn’t so easy. There has been numerous maybe’s and then again also maybe not’s. Lots of potential and equally as much disappointment. I won’t expect you to be flawless, because I know I am not, no one is.

I feel like I have waited a lifetime for you, but I know that when you finally find me or I find you, it will be worth it. I know I can be stubborn but I forgive quickly. I will do my very finest to be the best version of myself for you. All I ask in return is that you are always honest, and when it’s all too much that you just let me know.

I don’t expect things to be easy. But I do know that am willing to work at it every day if you are. I am prepared to make sacrifices and changes if it means that the best is yet to come. I have made mistakes in the past that I can’t change, I am sure it has been the same for you, so let’s just start fresh.

They say, “you can’t hurry love, you just have to wait”. So, I will wait, and I will keep hoping that it hasn’t all been for nothing, that I like everyone else can be with someone that I adore and adores me back. That true love is a real concept and not façade or a materialistic manifestation.

We dont always get a choice on how our lives evolve but we do get a chance to hope. So here is me hoping that amongst all the unstable elements of life, there is but one moment in time we find each other. Untill then my love.

[enamouredsonder-blog]

Let’s Netflix and Chill... Maybe Not!

The kissing booth, what a cute concept. Let’s face it though, its only cute for already established couples, or those in the cute honey moon Phase. Not so cute for us singletons. But even we can appreciate the concept. This gorgeous piece of endearing seating can be found at Revolver Espresso House in Seminyak. A massive favorite for coffee lover’s and boutique cafe enthusiasts. Most travelers to Seminyak will know the destination well. If you get a chance, pick up one of their signature t-shirts, crops or singlets inside. It’s like the far classier version of the Bintang singlet.

Not so long ago, I was asked when did Netflix and Chill become a thing? My answer “I have no idea”. I am pretty sure dudes invented it. Girls went along with it, and now it means let’s put Netflix on and hook up.

It might have been around 2009. It used to be come over and we will watch the new season of whatever was trending at the time, because back then if you had Netflix it was exciting. Now “do you want to come over to watch Netflix’s?” means do you want to get it on. It’s like the old, do you want to come in for coffee?

There is nothing wrong with Netflix and chill. Lots of people want to get it on. It cut’s out having to go out, spend money and make small talk. Now people can just invite each other over on the guise of watching a movie and hook up instead.

One little problem. What if you don’t want to hook up? And what if you legit want to watch Netflix, cuddle on the coach and maybe make out but not necessarily take it to the next level? It means you probably shouldn’t be watching Netflix and chilling on the couch unless you are ready to take it to the next level.

I realise what I am saying and I know it sounds strange, but its honestly the truth. If your super attracted to someone, sitting on the coach watching a bad or good movie and cuddling rarely ends in I am just going to go home now. It ends in heavy making out and let’s go to my bedroom. When you muster enough strength to say let’s stop here, it tends to make the situation awkward. Do you go back to cuddling and try and watch the movie, do you go home, have you crossed the border of potential person to date into friends with benefits?

Look I get it, you could just be carefree and go along with it and let the chips fall where they may, sure. But chances are they are not going to fall much further than that night. I can actually count the number of times I have been promised it’s just a movie and a glass of wine, it’s not about hooking up. Fast forward an hour or two and the conversation becomes, why don’t you come upstairs? do you want me to stay over? Or there is the insistent asking despite your saying No, no, no. Until finally you give up and just say yes. How horrible.

What have we done here? Some people actually call this a form of dating now. The only time it’s safe to watch Netflix and chill out (take a break or rest) is when you’re on your own or is committed, meaningful or high promising relationships. If you’re in the dating game watching Netflix and hanging on the couch is high risk territory. I mean who wants to settle down with just one person? when you can stay at home hook up with a hottie, without having to leave your living room, or get dressed up or spend any money.

What have we done? We can’t even try and say we are only interested in watching a movie and hanging out, without the other party convincing themselves that “what she really means is that they she is too shy to say she wants me”. Yeah dudes… we are onto you. When your saying we can just hang out and watch a movie, no pressure to hook up. What you’re really saying is I am hoping I can convince you that I am all cute and good at cuddles, then I am going to move onto kissing you and then we are going to hook up (well at least you’re already hoping that’s what will happen). Am I right?

So overall, if your wanting to hook up, and your aiming for a hit it and quit it situation, Netflix away. It’s a great set up and can actually be quite fun, if you’re with the right person. It’s the perfect rebound tool. But if you’re looking for more, avoid the Netflix, movie, hanging on the couch time until you’re at least 5 dates in. And even then, you’re not safe. I don’t care how cute you are future boy, it’s not happening. Not to this girl again. I might consider the fun option, but there is no tricking me into the situation. Just be up front people if you want to hook up be honest and transparent from the start. Most of us are adult enough to know what we are getting into. It’s really unnecessary and pretty evil to just trick someone into doing something they don’t want to do. It is probably better for all, if again we all communicated more clearly. Just say what you really mean already.

[enamouredsonder-blog]

Casper the not so friendly ghost

So I have to admit that this post is mostly about dating and a lot less about travel. But if you are a huge Harry Potter fan then I do recommended the store of Requirement in Samford valley Brisbane. Loads of Harry Potter memorabilia, chocolate frogs and butter beer. The Butter Beer is so sweet but still yummy. I recommend sharing if you can. Pottermore fans will not be dissapointed. Nor those with a sweet tooth.

If your tired from traveling you can even take a break in the area set up as the Griffindor common room. Definitely a picture worthy spot.

Now onto other not so supernatural phenomenon. Modern day ghosting. And no I am not talking about moaning Myrtle appearing, or the very cute Casper later turned Devon Sawa from the 90s Casper movie. The Urban dictionary has described it as “The act of of suddenly ceasing communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date”. It’s by no means a new phenomenon. 20 years ago it was that he never called. Now its “I texted and he… or she never replied ”. Or in other words it ended and I don’t know why, I have no closure on the situtiation but am forced to be okay with it so I dont look crazy.

But should you be okay with it. Especially if you you started to perhaps like someone (insert gasp) and you thought they liked you back. Then out of no where boom, their gone. Vanished without a trace. Just like they were a ghost… yes pun intended. We have given it a cute name now, its an accepted part of modern dating culture. But I ask you all, should it be ?

Should people continue to ignore each other because we are too afraid to say what we really feel? Or have people become so arrogant that we dont think the other person deserves an explanation? There are definitely situations were some kind of ghosting behaviour is warranted eg: someone is legitimately stalking you, or you have told someone the truth a number of times and they just wont take a hint, or maybe you dont even know the person, well yeah, I guess you owe them nothing. But once you have crossed over the 2 date marker, or your communication and feelings have been fairly cosistent and positive, then yes you 100% should have the decency to tell someone you changed your mind, or its not a good time, or your cat died. What ever it is. Have enough of a heart to give closure.

When individuals decide to end something they so happily started or went along with, by saying nothing at all, it creates the following:

1. The ghostee will spend days in agony waiting for a reply, then weeks wondering what the fuck happend, then months hoping it doesnt happen again

2. Ghosters will automatically get placed into the emotionally unstable asshole person category (pretty warranted if you ask me).

3. Ghosters are responsible for inflicting trauma for the next time the ghostee starts to date someone else. Yep thats right the reason they have walls up is because its probably not the first time they have been shafted.

4. Ghosters are not actually acknowledging to them selves they may not be in the best position to date. So when ghosters run away because they think the other party caught feelings, and it scared them. Thats actually a big hint that the issue is you. So maybe dont run away and think you can solve the problem by dating or macking on someone else because it wont actually fix the real problem deep down inside, at least not in the long run.

5. My personal favourite. It reinforces the fact that the art of communication is getting lost. People can send each other picture messages, grow followers on social media, pick up dates and hook ups without ever leaving thier TV room, but they cant muster enough human decency to say its finnished ?

I could go on, I really could, but I want to spend some time also talking about why people might ghost and exploring some context around circumstances. I dont know alot about girls ghosting around guys, but I guess its relativley the same.

So some of the top reasons for ghosting that I know of are : they are or maybe genuinely busy and life is crazy enough they cant pick up the phone (lame but possible), some huge life event has occured ( health, illness, death of a loved one), there is an ex partner lurking the background, they like someone new, they are scared you will cry if they tell you they changed their mind , they actually did change their mind, they are married, they just got out of a serious relationship, they caught feelings and got scared, they are not ready for more, they are not ready to give up sleeping with other people and again the list goes on. My point is that for most of those reasons people there still seems to be space for someone to be decent enougn to tell the truth.

Has society crafted a higher rate or cowards,or have we all become so complacent in letting each other down and absorbed in ourselves so much that we cant consider the impact our actions have on others ?

I want to believe that one day, Ghosting will be an idea of the past. But if it’s this bad now, how bad will it be 5 to 10 years for now ?

[enamouredsonder-blog]

Wrong Time

This post has been a long time coming. Its taken me a long time to write. I wanted to write it weeks ago, but I was hurting far too much. So I am writting it now. I will also be posting alot more regularly.

The above image was taken in November at one of the most stunning places I have visted in Bali. La Laguna in Canngu. The sunset across the lagoon and ocean is pretty breath taking. Part of me was overwhelmed with how stunning it is, the other part of me was battling the fact that I had left a small part of my heart at home.

I strugle writting these posts at times, because A. I never want to incriminate the guy I am talking about, B. It hurts to be raw and C. I have been exausted over the last few months.

In my previous post, I was saying goodbye to someone from my past. I mention that I never thought I could feel that way again. Yet not long after I had written that post I actually did catch feelings for someone new.

Which brings me back to why I was feeling like apart of my heart had been left behind, when in actual fact I should have been enjoying the natural beauty on the Island of the Gods. You would think with a view like that who could miss anything.

Before I left for that holiday I met an incredible human. My original thoughts about him were pretty average in actual fact I was waiting for someone else to message me back. But eventually I decided to give the boy ago. He was persistent, witty, attentive, intresting and also gorgeous to say the least.

It all played out exactly how it should have to begin with. We messaged back and forth in the week. For our first date we kept it pretty casual and went on a coffee date by the beach. A 3 hour coffee date actually. We seemed to be able to talk to each other easily. It was effortless. Like talking to someone you already know. There was no judgement. The date ended with a hug, and me telling him I would message him later. But i didnt have to, he messaged me asking me about my night?

After years of bad dates, I had finally had a good date with some hope, things might work out this time. We arranged to see each other again the next night. We were supposed to go to the movie’s. But instead we started chatting too much at home and missed the time to head to the cinemas. Note to self, just meet at the cinema complex next time.

Hanging out at home wasnt bad, we talked and joked around, and watched a movie. He didnt try and kiss me till the end of the movie and even then it was a nice quick soft kiss. Im terrible, if I like someone, all I want to do is keep kissing them, this of which sends the wrong the message. After a while he asked me if I wanted him to stay over.

The honest truth is every part of me wanted him to. I liked him, I was very attracted to him, but I was scared. If he stayed I would be running the risk of enetring the dreaded netflix and chill situation, or the possible hit it and quit it scenario. I feared sleeping with him and never hearing from him again because I gave it up too easy. What I should have done was be honest, maybe chatted about what we both wanted. Instead I simply communicated that I didnt think him staying was a good idea, as it would only support the netflix and chill cliché.

Following the declined offer, we stayed on the couch still hugging and softly kissing. Untill eventually I used every last strength I had, to call it night. He kissed me goodbye and left. I think apart of me knew something wasnt right. Or maybe I was so used to being kissed goodbye in that same spot,never to hear from that guy again.

The next few days played out strange. He was working longer hours, I worried about texts not being replied. Needless to say the communication was alot more disjointed then it had ever been. But the good news was we were still talking.

After two days it was time for me to head to the beautiful Bali. I texted him at the airport as a reminder I would be away and that I would try and send him a message in the week. By the time I flew out I had no idea if he had replied. Another note to myself if I am this position again, activate global roaming.

While away I enjoyed 4 days of glorious sunset views, delicious cocktails, glorious food, warm weather and friendship. But I couldnt help but thinking about the boy. It was hard not too. I had waited so long to feel that way again. Hopefull, excited, lustfull. I had to try and at least message him.

So I did. I had no choice but to use the dreaded tinder as at least it worked with a decent wifi connection. It have taken him a day but he at least replied to my message. He gave me a mini run down of his week and weekend. I replied asking him meaningful questions as to continue some conversation. But the awful no reply came. The last few days of the holiday seemed waisted. I kept wanting to have fun, but my heart wasn’t in it.

The weather also seened to take a turn and the rain came in. I couldnt work on my tan or enjoy the pool. This made thinking about things all the more worse. After a few days it was home time. Flying home at least gave me the comfort I needed. And whilst driving back from the airport all of my missed text messages started to come through. There was one from the boy, replying to my airport text. He had wished me a good trip, and told me his week was all work. The only issue here was he had my holidays mixed up. Arghhhhh. I had a holiday to Brisbane coming up but this was not it. I had to fix this.

So despite my situation of already receiving no reply, I sent another text trying to clarify the situation. Only to recieve no reply. The games in my head begun, maybe he is just busy with work, maybe he met someone new, maybe he thinks your needy. I contiued in agony for another 4 days before deciding it was time to send a good bye message.

I called my closest girl friends around and made copious lychee martinis. I eneded up texting him “Hey i really liked hanging out with you, Im a little confused with the radio silence, but I know your busy with work, so I am going to take a step back. It would be great to hear from you, but if not I wish you the very best of luck”.

I want to say that he replied, that he at least gave me some closure. But thats not the case. All I got was silence. Sure we can say it was his loss, he is a douche bag, that was a dick move, all true. But in the end it doesn’t change the hurt that follows.

What hurts the most is that, every time a guy ghosts you it instills less and less hope in the next guy. You worry about catching feelings because then you look needy and get ghosted anyway. You become so empty because every time you think there is hope there is none. You might think you have met a good guy, but it all ends the same. All you have left is to muster enough courage and hope inside you to trust dating one last time.

I fear that the constant dissapointment leaves a numbness that no amount of wine or words of encouragement can fix. Time perhaps may be of assistance. But then again you still have to be brave enough to try it all again.

I have been in this cycle for years. In this time only a few individuals gain the title of being amazing. Despite the boys behaviour, I know he is a special kind of someone.

I may never find out what went wrong, he might have just been playing me the whole time, its possible I fell for the humble nice guy routine. What ever the case I have learnt no matter how much you think there is hope or how much you might like someone, there is a high risk that taking a chance ends in hurt. Some people are lucky they meet the right person and it all falls into place, the rest of us will continue searching.

The answer to why this didnt work out, doesnt even really matter. Its the fact that this is now how dating is. But it doesnt have to be this way, people can actually respect each other enough to be honest without repercussions.

So on that note, boy bye.

[enamouredsonder-blog]

To You……

I have been thinking alot latley. Thinking about how I never had a chance to say what I really wanted to say to say to you. Maybe one day you might read this, or perhaps you never will.

I didn’t know that when I first met you, you would have had the impact you did. That you would would repair all the past hurt with a single kiss. That when your lips touched mine, there was that rush of electronic shocks running through my skin. I am writing this for you. Perhaps a little bit for me, in the hopes that it might help me let go. 

I would like to say I am sorry if I came across too strong in the end. You were clear on what you wanted and what you could offer from the start. It was me that broke the rules. I had no idea how to tell you that I had caught serious feelings for you. No idea how to explain that the way you were making me feel was like an illicit substance. You might not have been very good for me, But you always made me feel good. This feeling wasn’t supposed to happen. We were just playing. You were not meant to make me feel happy, or secure or intrigued or any of those similar lustful feelings. 

If I could go back to that last night, when you were tracing your fingers on my back, and I could just be honest and tell you the impact you were having on me. Sure, it might not make a difference but at least you would then know, how it was for me. See the problem is, that is your magic, you cast a spell on me not even knowing what kind of power you had. And then you just walked away from it, knowing that you couldn’t give more. 

Enough time has passed, that I should have forgotten about you, I should be with someone else or found someone else that made me feel the way you did. But I haven’t, I keep searching but you have left an imprint that wont go away. I hope he is out there somewhere, or on his way to me, so that I can forget all about you, so this small part of pain that’s left will go away. It’s possible the way you made me feel wasn’t right, but it wasn’t wrong either. If anything you made me realise that’s the way I want to keep about someone. I want to smile while I am talking to you on the phone, I want my heart to light up when I see you. Above all I want to feel wanted the way you made me feel like you wanted me, and like I was something special.  I wished that you were “him��, the one. But I can only wish that what you did was pave the way for something more. 

So this is for you, I know that despite this story of ours being unfinished, we are finished. There is no more.  It was easy enough for you to walk away, and not easy for me at all. This is the kind of story that deserves a better ending. But there is no better ending. Just me saying sorry, I wish that it could have been different, I wished I could tell you everything I have just written.I wish that I can tell you face to face goodbye. 

[enamouredsonder-blog]

So in the last week, I had to go away for a few days for work. It was actually a really pleasant trip. I had the opportunity to enjoy coastal Australia. I sat in a lovely restaurant eating my delicious breakfast of Torch-wood Mushrooms, Poached eggs and Polenta cakes whilst watching Whales breach in more shallow waters.

The picture above was taken by me at the stunning Middleton Beach in Albany. Pretty breathtaking really. I spent a good 20 minutes walking down that beach in the brisk cold. But I can tell you I enjoyed every minute of it. I love the ocean so much. But what I love the most is the calmness that it brings to me. Whenever I am near ocean waters I automatically feel at ease.

Apart from all of the stunning scenery and actually doing some work whilst I was away. Something else managed to happen. Whilst on my way travelling down, I received a message from a Tinder match. Given network coverage and driving laws, I waited till I had reached my destination before replying.  It turned out the match appeared to be fairly communicable, which ensured further conversation.

Actually the conversation was so good that the Individual ... who for the purposes of confidentiality I will call Colin, decided to call me. It seemed like a good conversation at the time. Colin was very easy to chat to, created exceptional amounts of banter and seemed to want more than just a one night stand. (My aim is to avoid these as much as I can, I will discuss this more in another post).

When I got off the phone that night, I may have been a little Tipsy from delicious local wine, but I kind of felt hopeful, that maybe this time I could get past the first date goal post. When I awoke in the morning, Colin had messaged me a courteous good morning message, and I replied graciously. A few "How’s your day" messages were reciprocated to each other for the remainder of the day.

It reached the later afternoon, and my work for the day was complete, I was shooting off a few last minute emails, when Colin called me. The regular what did your day entail? Conversation was had, followed by more witty banter.  We both decided that despite the potential of the both of us being incredibly tired as a result work; we would aim to catch up for a date the following evening. Towards the end of the phone conversation Colin asked me to send him a picture of me (A general one). I attempted to say no, on account of being very tired and in a casual state of no makeup and messy tied back hair. At this point in time Colin had seen pictures of me with makeup and with and without coloured contact lenses, and also dressed semi casual. Regardless of my hesitation to send a non glamour portrait of myself, I went against my better judgement and took a very average selfie and sent it away. What a mistake that was. Colin seemed to think I looked completely different. I did try and forewarn him, but I guess that was not enough.  I then had to send some other pictures of myself from previous occasions in a semi casual state. It was damage control.

Putting all that aside, I went off to dinner, only to make myself feel bad for indulging in a carbohydrate heavy meal, inducing a "Carb Coma". Sometimes you just need to eat pasta. Upon return to my temporary abode, I called Colin as had been the plan. He didn't sound as enthused as the previous two conversations. The witty banter from before was not so present, and I wasn't quite sure when this left things. But we both en devoured to continue talking. The focus of the conversation had changed from the night before. I was even presently trying to firmly trying to communicate my want for a more long term and meaningful arrangement and Colin although stating he was on the same page seemed to be testing the waters on if a more casual encounter occurred. The plan to go out for a drink had turned into lets just hang out at home (the ever so present "Netflix and Chill' scenario. I protested the idea, and we decided to see how we both felt.

I could go on in detail and tell you all the laborious details of the date, but I am going to cut the chase, so I can actually talk about the main point of this post. A date was had, and it did end with Colin wanting to pursue a more physical and sexual ending. How could I be surprised, its generally how most dates end, these days. And how glad I am that I decided to leave before things reached a level of instant physical gratification. It would have been easy to go there. Colin was attractive enough. Not my normal type, but physically appealing in his own kind of way . But it wasn't the point, he knew it wasn't what I wanted and made a pretty dismal effort into avoiding it. The date ended awkwardly, with me trying to scurry away after things had ended hot and heavy, and me strongly confirming my want for it to not progress any further. It would be okay if that was it. But no. It's what follows that messes with your head even more.

I got home, knowing that was the end of that. But then Colin randomly messaged me a sleeping Bitstrip cartoon. Odd but maybe a small attempt at letting me know there was still room for communication. I had to reply with an equally lame message, communicating my desire to go to sleep. The next day was busy for me, but the realisation on how the previous night had ended had me wondering where exactly did i stand now? I wasn't sure if i even liked Colin, He was odd, maybe even a little socially awkward for me, but he messaged me before going to bed, so did that mean he was still interested in me?

Roll on 7pm that evening and Colin messages me asking me how my day was? A pretty evident gesture, that he was still interested perhaps. I waited half an hour before replying (I didn't want to seem too keen). Then there was nothing!!! I waited a full 24 hours before feeling exceptionally confused. Why message me if your not going to reply? Sure we all get busy. But so busy that you cant reply to one message, of someone you messaged in the first place. Would you message a friend ask them how their day was, only to actually not care. What shit is that ?

I waited till lunch time the next day, and in that time had realised that Colin was never a good match for me. Personality wise we were too different. My want to make things work probably blinded by capacity to see that we actually wanted different things. It was time to put this to bed. So being the transparent person that I am, i bit the bullet and sent a message saying that things had gotten weird, and perhaps I wasn't miss right, but i wish him luck in finding her. Funny how I got a pretty instant reply saying He wanted to message but was too busy and wasn't looking for something long term. Okay mate, why didn't you say that 2 days ago and save us both the hassle. Oh that's right you were taking you chances to see if you would get lucky in the bedroom, because you already knew I was never going to be the girl that you settle down with.

Guys these days seem to avoid responding to anything or owning anything. Maybe we have to move away from the time of "if I say anything he will think I am a psycho". We are all adults dating. How did it get to stage if it doesn't work, we ignore each other rather than acknowledging it, or we "hook up" because that fills one void, while only placing a band aid over the other. But it’s okay, right? You knew what this was.

[enamouredsonder-blog]

And so it begins

I have wanted to start this for a while is an understatement. Two half written books latter and here I am finally starting to try a new avenue.

Maybe it all started when I was staring out at the ocean again, telling myself ever thing happens for a reason. Maybe it’s just the way waves calm me down and make me feel at peace. Or perhaps it’s just time I shared my experiences. Mr amazing friends keep encouraging me to do so.

The above shot was taken at Finns Beach Club in Bali. That place absolute favourite of mine, if ever visiting the Island of the Gods. I spent the whole day there and I would gladly do it again. But that’s just me. I am at ease surrounded by tranquil blue waters, sipping fruity drinks and absorbing vitamin D. I need the escape from reality sometimes. Heck, don't we all.

Actually not long after this photo was taken I started talking to a gorgeous American guy whose name is actually a very trending vegetable. That guy had some seriously incredible" pecs". And I got to be flirty until a large group of gay men crashed my party. No biggie it was all a part of the fun. I liked the irony of the bitchy gay men, trying to flirt with the much tanned straight "Pec god".

Sometimes I like to think that when I am away I get to be a better version of myself. A more fun version and a less broken person. I am the girl who is having fun. Not the girl that's alone. Not the girl that hasn't settled down. Not because I don't want to or not because I haven't tried. Some call it "bad luck" others call it "being too picky" I call it bad timing. So in the quest of finding the one who sticks around. I will be sharing some of my past dating and highly possible future dating experiences. Some will make you laugh, cry and just plain angry. I will also be sharing my love of travel and scenery, because sometimes you can’t help to appreciate what’s in front of you.

Enamoured Sonder.