enby-it-girl-guide

[enby-it-girl-guide]

[enby-it-girl-guide]

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

[enby-it-girl-guide]

drink lots of water, exercise, read, study, and repeat.

[enby-it-girl-guide]

Dream Girl Masterpost 🍰

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl?

Confidence Tipz

Bimbofication n Pretty Privilege Beneifits

Pretty Girl Self Care 101

Fabulosity Reset

Branding Yourself

Is He Dream Girl Material?

Pretty Little Tipz

Prissy Girl Essentials

Prissy Girl Essentials pt. 2

Makeup Kit Essentials

Beauty Binder Tutorial

My Prissy School Wishlist

Rest and Recovery

High Maintenance 101

Favorite Blogs

My Seasonal Prissy Girl Guidez

tag shortcuts

#DreamGirlJourney 🎀

#ThePrissyGirlAgenda 🎀

#Bimbofication 🎀

[enby-it-girl-guide]

GLOW UP GUIDE FOR 2025⠀

READ: On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And considering that 2025 is precisely these many days away, why not start with our glow up plan already?

Physical Glow Up-

BODY

— 5-10K steps a day.

— 7-8 hours of sleep.

— workout everyday for 1 hr atleast- yoga/stretching/pilates/cardio/lifting weights. a workout may take one hour, but your mood will be boosted for the next 12 hours.

— posture training.

— sunlight exposure after waking up for at least 10 minutes.

NUTRITION

— 2-3 liters of water every day.

— limit your caffeine intake.

— avoid sugars as much as you can.

— high protein diet, pre and probiotics.

— more fruits and veggies (+ green smoothies if you like).

— no junk/processed food/trans fat.

— no eating after 8 pm.

SKINCARE

— be clear on your skin type (oily, dry, combination, sensitive).

— once you're clear, use these accordingly- cleanser, toner, targeted serum, eye cream, moisturizer, sunscreen (≥50 spf).

— keep your bedding clean as well.

— no picking of skin on your lips, cuticle etc.

— gua sha to help improve blood circulation and lessen toxins.

— cold therapy may take three to five minutes of being uncomfortable, but your energy levels will be boosted for the rest of the day.

— remove makeup before you go to bed.

BODY CARE

— shower every day.

— exfoliate 2x a week.

— use body lotion (shea butter/aloe vera gel/coconut oil).

HAIR CARE

— wash hair 2-3x a week

— oil your scalp 2x a week, at least 3 hours before shampoo.

— hair mask 1x per week.

— never brush wet hair.

— use silk pillow case.

HYGIENE

— brush your teeth 2x a day, clean tongue and the roof of the mouth daily.

— floss daily.

— cut your nails 1x a week, never remove the cuticles.

— glycolic acid under arm for odor and discoloration.

— never use soap on your coochie.

Mental Glow Up-

MINDSET

— set clear goals- define and breakdown your aspirations.

— start your mornings with positive affirmations.

— surround yourself with uplifting content and people.

— be shamelessly selfish to your career and mental health, remove anyone or anything that doesn't align with your priorities and wellbeing.

— boost your brain health by these 4 neuroscience tools:

difficult first: start your day with the most difficult task (cortisol and dopamine are high in the body meaning that your body/mind is primed to work).

rest your eyes: introduce a micro-pause after learning by resting/closing your eyes - will help retain information better.

tomorrow's worries: write tomorrow's to-do list before bed as it is proven to be effective in helping you fall asleep.

find time to play: engage in low-stake play. can be anything you find fun but where the outcome doesn't matter (induces neuroplasticity + reduces stress).

MIND

— meditation might take as low as ten minutes, but your focus will be improved for the rest of the day.

— no social media after waking up and at least an hour before bed.

— keep aside 1 hr of time to read daily! reading a new book may take five hours, but you will keep the knowledge forever.

— journaling, gratitude.

— digital detox once a week or for 12 hours.

— limit unnecessary screentime, unfollow or cut off people you don't want to see.

JOURNALING

— choose a regular time each day to journal, making it a part of your routine.

— find a quiet, comfortable place free from distractions. light a candle if you want.

— allow your thoughts to flow without censoring or editing.

— write about your feelings and emotions to understand them better. write about things you are thankful for to boost your mood. write about your short-term and long-term goals. identify what triggers certain emotions or reactions

— set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write continuously during that time.

— reflect on both positive experiences and challenges.

— make lists, journal your thoughts on these questions.

— journal at night to clear your mind before bedtime, because emotions and thoughts lose their power once we acknowledge them.

— a gratitude practice may take five minutes, but your mindset will be shifted for the rest of the day.

AFFIRMATIONS

— customise affirmations to your needs.

Personal Life-

WEEKLY TASKS

— initiate small changes: begin with small, manageable tasks such as making your bed or cleaning your room every sunday.

— celebrate your success: reward yourself when you achieve your goals or have a consistently productive week. consider treats like buying flowers for yourself or watching your favorite show.

DAILY WORK

— set achievable goals: establish realistic goals for the day, week, or month ahead.

— track your progress.

— organise your work space, declutter your shelves etc.

— embrace the power of lists: keep a list of tasks to be done and their deadlines. this way, you start each day with a clear plan. to make it visually appealing and motivating, consider using productivity apps like evernote, habit tracker, or notion.

PRODUCTIVITY TIPS

— wake up early.

— plan ahead everything, do scheduling. you can use:

google calendar / notion / tasks .

— if the task takes less than 2 minutes to finish, do it immediately.

— countdown rule, if you are procrastinating, count 1-2-3-4-5 and jump.

— start slow, don't rush and try to do everything at one time.

— follow a proper routine, use app locks based on screentime.

— pomodoro technique, 25 min work, and 5 min break.

— schedule longer break times as well e.g 30 min nap.

[enby-it-girl-guide]

How to be more confident ;)

My favorite saying is, “ fake it till you make it”. This is always easier said than done but here are some tips on how to feel and appear more confident.

* Create an alter ego. Give your character a name and write down how they act. Whenever you are in a stressful situation you can become that person.

* Eye contact. Force yourself to keep eye contact. Turn it into game and make them break eye contact first. This is such a power move.

* Good posture. Always walk with a straight back and your head held up. This will make you appear more confident.

* Nobody cares. Remember everyone only cares about themselves. Nobody’s thinking about what u said or did. So just be you and live your life how you want.

* Make a good first impression. Be kind, polite and genuine.

* Listen to affirmation podcasts. There’s are so many confidence boosting affirmation podcast. If u have a stressful situation coming listen to it the night before. The more you tell yourself you are amazing then eventually you will start to believe it.

* Put effort into your appearance. If you look good you will feel good. Take care of your hair, put an outfit you feel good in on, do a little bit of makeup if you want and always wear deodorant and perfume.

90% of life is confidence. The thing about confidence is no one knows if it’s real or not.- Maddy Perez

[enby-it-girl-guide]

VISION BOARDS | THE IT GIRL DIARIES

you have been asking for links or places to find already made up vision boards. I've also been getting questions on how to create a visions board and what it should consist of, so I gathered a few that I've created and some other inspos made by other's on Pinterest.

(vision boards should consist of things you wish you to achieve in your future endeavors, who you want to be, what you want to be, what you want to do, how you'd want to look ect ect, these are just examples down below but feel free to use them if they match your vision)

[enby-it-girl-guide]

my favorite tumblr posts

Cultivating Your Signature It Girl Aesthetic | THE IT GIRL DIARIES

a talk on my favorite timeless beauty and fashion detailz

ultimate IT girl guide

how to live your life like the BRATZ ♡

self care tips 🫖

The IT Girl Wardrobe Essentials | IT GIRL DIARIES

beauty and brains⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀☕️

The Prissy Girl Look

pretty girl handbook⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁

cultivating a high maintenance lifestyle⋆.ೃ࿔*:･👛🐩

polished princess doll tips

getting it together⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🗒️

micro glow up part two⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁

Be high maintenance to be low maintenance: a checklist

take care of YOU first⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍭

your guide to casual glam⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍰

romanticizing ur night routine⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁🫧

back to school "be the it girl" guide

Doll Mindset!! How To Achieve It 🎀

how to be more feminine⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🩰

VISION BOARDS | THE IT GIRL DIARIES

Complete Guide : How to looksmax & drastically improve your appearance

VICTORIA SECRET ANGEL ULTIMATE GLOW UP🩰

Dream Girl Masterpost 🍰

Every it-girl needs:

my tips on becoming that christian girl 💒💗

How to be more confident ;)

The Ultimate It-Girl Guide to start every new year

Prissy Girl Essentials

GLOW UP GUIDE FOR 2025

how to stop being so obsessed with them.

Socialite In Training 🦋

RECLAIMING DISCIPLINE CAN LOOK LIKE:

fostering and living out confidence⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁🍬

things to put in ur fashion journal⋆.ೃ࿔*:･📔🎀

Journaling Ideas!!

— the 2025 princess guide:

[enby-it-girl-guide]

[enby-it-girl-guide]

cooling face masks, journaling under fairy lights, chamomile tea before bed, hot oil treatments, quiet afternoon naps, cloud-soft sheets, gentle hair brushing, organizing your space, baking as therapy, aromatherapy roll-ons, setting boundaries that protect your peace, plush bathrobes, lavender pillow mist, drinking tea while watching the rain, fresh-cut flowers, satin pillowcases, affirmations on sticky notes, late-night stretches, sleepy playlists, self-love moments.

[enby-it-girl-guide]

Friendly reminder – especially to young girls – that influencers who say shit like

"drink this smoothie/juice to lose belly fat"

"this is the ONLY exercise you need to tone your entire body"

"don't do these exercises, do THESE instead"

"do this exercise to lose fat off this specific body part"

"all you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit"

are ALL bullshitting you for views and likes! And you will often catch them in contradiction, but since they look toned and fit and healthy you may think you're the one who's confused, but no, they're lying. I am here to help set the record straight:

No type of food is going to make you lose fat. Some foods get the fame of being fat-burners for being thermogenic (meaning they raise your body temperature temporarily), but it's not enough to make you lose fat if you don't adjust everything else.

No one exercise affects the entire body and if you only do one type of exercise your body will get used to it and its effects won't be as beneficial. Also, if you only do one exercise you will get bored and it will get in the way of your consistency.

You need to do the exercises that make you feel good and fulfilled and that keep you consistently coming back for more. If you like planks over crunches, then you should plank. If you like dancing over running, then you should dance. All exercises, if done in proper form and within your capabilities, are beneficial and correct.

There is no way to target fat loss. This is a very dangerous and widespread myth. It has been shown over and over in studies and trials that fat is lost proportionately all over the body and that it depends heavily on genetic factors whether you will lose more here or there. You can target muscle gain, but not fat loss.

There is so much more to fat loss (which is different from weight loss, since weight is not determined only by fat) than only a calorie deficit. Yes, consuming less calories than you burn is the way to go, but it's not as simple as that: you can do that and still not lose any significant weight! There's genetics, there's nutrition, there's other health factors, there's muscle mass, there's water weight, there's hormones, there's stress levels, there's so much more nuance to consider in the human body than just calories. If it were as "simple" as a calorie deficit, do you think so many people would struggle with their weight?

Health and nutrition and fitness are complex subjects that deserve more of your attention and research than watching clickbait videos on Tiktok from people that are just trying to capture your views, often using underhanded tactics. I say that with love: social media builds trust only for it to be betrayed by algorithmic monetization.

Question what you see and read (including my posts!) and look into things that go against your common sense! It's a tough world to navigate, be safe 💫

[enby-it-girl-guide]

do it for yourself

[enby-it-girl-guide]

you only need three daily wins for a successful day

mental wins

reading

journaling

goal setting

creating

learning

physical wins

pilates/yoga

running/walking/hiking

swimming

weightlifting

spiritual wins

actively practising gratitude, kindness and self-love

being in nature

self-reflection

meditation

[enby-it-girl-guide]

✤ Essential books for the 'It' Girls

Entering a new era of life is the perfect time for us girls/women to cultivate a mindset that aligns with growth and empowerment. Nourish your thinking.

( 1 ) "101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think" by Brianna Wiest

Book I am currently reading! It is full of deep and thought-provoking essays that help you see life from new perspectives. It's perfect for looking to improve their mindset and make sense of their emotions and experiences. ▹ link to the book ◃

( 2 ) "Atomic Habits" by James Clear

Teaches you how small, consistent habits can lead to big changes in your life. It’s easy to follow and perfect for building better routines, staying focused, and reaching your goals step by step. ▹ link to the book ◃

( 3 ) "How to Listen with Intentions" by Patrick King

Learn the skill of truly listening and connecting with people. It’s great for improving relationships, understanding others better, and becoming more confident in conversations. ▹ link to the book ◃

( 4 ) "Good Vibes, Good Life" by Vex King

Just as the title tells us, the book is about positivity and self-love, showing you how to live a happier and more fulfilling life. It’s inspiring and helps you let go of negativity while focusing on your dreams and well-being. ▹ link to the book ◃

[enby-it-girl-guide]

this is your 2025.

cultivate a life where you give 100% and receive 100%. plan out your days the night before, tick off your to-do list as you complete it and then watch it happen. nothing happens without the work.

[enby-it-girl-guide]

How to Create a Glow-Up Routine 🌸

Feeling stuck? Here’s how to design a routine that helps you glow up mentally, emotionally, and physically:

🌿 Morning:

Start with affirmations or gratitude journaling.

Hydrate and stretch for 5 minutes.

🌸 Afternoon:

Work in focused time blocks (Pomodoro works wonders).

Take a mindful break: journal, meditate, or take a walk.

✨ Evening:

Digital detox for an hour before bed.

Reflect: Write down what went well today.

💡 Glow-ups happen when you show up for yourself consistently. Start small, and watch the magic unfold! 🌟

[enby-it-girl-guide]

gentle cleansers, green tea, at home workouts, fruit bowls, face masks, spf 50, pink nails, jewelry always, hair masks, body milks, late night runs, sparkly claw clips, hair massages, lip serums, balanced salads, night routine, vitamins and supplements, sunglasses sun hat combo, princess treatment, floral bouquets, vogue videos.