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God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

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love love love when a particularly manipulative character is lying off their ass about something and then throws in one hauntingly genuine line

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stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

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Confession: The letter “t” key on my laptop has been broken since 2024. From what my research tells me, they can’t fix individual keys on that model, and my laptop is no longer under a warranty, but it seems foolish to fork out over $900 for a new computer, so instead I’ve trained my brain to hit ctrl+v every time I want to hit “t.”

But sometimes I have to copy-paste something else besides “t,” which means I need a readily available place to copy the “t” from.

My first thought was to search “tiger” on Google, but if you can’t type the letter “t,” you just get search results about Bob Iger.

I realized words that end with “t” are easier for Google to autocomplete, so the first one I thought of was “crypt.” But wouldn’t you know, googling “cryp” takes to you to cryptocurrency results, and I REALLY don’t want my algorithm thinking I google that multiple times per week.

Then I remembered a cool place I went in London, called Cafe in the Crypt. It’s exactly what it sounds like and located below St. Martin-in-the-Fields Church. When I type in “Cafe in Cryp,” Google does indeed autocomplete it effectively! So I either keep that search result open in a tab or Google it every day.

So, that being said, if anyone works for St. Martin-in-the-Fields Church’s marketing department and has been utterly flummoxed by an IP address from Virginia that has googled their cafe hundreds of times over the past 6 months… that wasn’t a bot, that was me.

I am the Spiders Georg of Cafe in the Crypt.

Anyway, it’s a pretty cool place to check out if you’re ever in London. Just maybe not cool enough to Google it on a daily basis for months straight.

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as a pink lover. The ""universal""" hatred of the color pink by young girls is due to the heavy expectation of femininity forced on them. It is an expression of frustration at gender roles. It is not internalized misogyny. No you will not inevitably start liking pink as an adult and if you do that is not healing your inner divine feminine or whatever we're saying now. Its a color. 😁👍

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Settles down on your dashboard gingerly and with a big heaving sigh

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first youtube analysis i've wanted to watch voluntarily

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Made a chart for sorting fantheories

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One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

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Aliens abducting a Paleolithic horse 🐴✨🛸 PRINTS

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Excerpt from Mary Karr - The Paris Review (2009)

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notes app baseball

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cain and abel are on their ten thousandth spin around the wheel of samsara and in this life their names are Those Brothers from Oasis

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lying in front of the street cleaner