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his pulse, my favorite lullaby..

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𝐯. 　────　　𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕣　 : 　“𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭” 　　.

three years earlier ..

❝ three burned bodies were found in the barracks near ohio; the autopsy report revealed that they were three men aged twenty. They died in fire, but the barracks building remained untouched and there was no evidence that a fire had been set. It is still not known what exactly was seen and who the perpetrator was. The police are still looking for him three years later.. ❞

sighing, vanlan read the last sentence of the newspaper article and shortly afterwards threw the newspaper away as he took a close look at his surroundings. he noticed himself in a run-down diner that reeked of manure and disease, where all sorts of people from the subgroup met and drank together. but tonight only drunk or homeless people were there and were protecting themselves from the cold night. he leans back now, closed his eyes, ignored the whining of others around him and thought about his past.

because after his disturbed and tragic childhood and his youth distorted by anger, his parents sent him into the army. there he learned to deal with his aggression, his anger and his feelings. He met people who loved him far more than his own family, which he also considered his family. he learned to laugh and love and was valued. until the moment his life changed completely. because he was the one who killed the three men in his company. they meant a lot to him, they had been his best friends and yet he stood in front of their burned bodies that day, fire still glowing in his hands and tears in his eyes.

OOC info: fsk 21+ and general trigger warning, as vanlan is an extremely dark and twisted character and his portrayal will include heavy topics, like suicide, trauma problems, murder etc. dni if you're a minor or there's a chance to make you uncomfortable with such topics.