endometriosis-blog

[endometriosis-blog]

been consistent on my birth control since i got it, but unfortunately i don't think i was fast enough! started my period 🙁

lots of bleeding and lots of pain. i'm at work, but i can't stand up for long so i keep sitting down. my legs and back are killing me, and im bloated in these high waisted jeans 😫

[endometriosis-blog]

got my birth control, but not before i could have a huge rib and chest pain flare up. happened pretty bad on wednesday, honestly thought i was having a heart attack at the moment. got rib and chest pain on left side then my arms went numb. now im having right side rib and shoulder pain, for about 7 hours now. intermittent cramping between, but i haven't been eating much in fear of pain so. i think i need to see a specialist.

[endometriosis-blog]

fun fact my birth control prescription is out of refills so i'm raw dogging endometriosis while trying to get a hold of my doctor!!

[endometriosis-blog]

chest pain today. it's all in the upper part, it's shortness of breath. my chest is all tight and i can't breathe too deeply, when i do it hurts up into my throat. i just went back on my birth control.

[endometriosis-blog]

wow, it's been a while since i posted. so, thats gastro referral never came through, not sure if it was ever even sent out. my primary wanted me to get a colonoscopy, which is funny, because when i first met her she said she didn't want me to seeing a gastro until we knew exactly what we needed endometriosis wise from them (not a colonoscopy). i feel like these doctors just throw anything my way now. i might make my own gastro appt, i might give up completely, not sure yet.

on another note, i have a serious girlfriend now, and of course, im discovering some symptoms of mine. one, being pain with arousal. i haven't had sex yet - just gotten aroused. it happens the day after, and usually feels like being bloated or just dull, deep cramping or aches.

i would bring this up with my doctor, but i'm not sure when i'm seeing either of them - the primary, or my gyno, again. my primary is going on maternity, and my gyno didn't want me coming back until i saw a gastro, which my primary was supposed to give me but didn't.

currently, i'm cramping badly. i've been off my birth control, i sort of just lost motivation. no one tells you how fucking hard it is to keep care of yourself and stay on your regimens. so anyways, i haven't been on birth control for a while. i've also lost 15 pounds. this is the lightest ive weighed since i did the FODMAP diet.

anyways, i think i might be done with doctors. i can't see this going anywhere. i think im going to invest more time in self help, and maybe ill look into pelvic floor therapy. any tips would be great.

[endometriosis-blog]

happy endometriosis awareness month

the reality of endometriosis is you can't put life on hold. you can't pause anything - you just miss out. i've missed out on hours of work, hours of activities, time with family and friends because of this disease. if i choose not to miss out, i choose to sit and endure, which is equally as miserable. endometriosis is so much more than a "bad period".

[endometriosis-blog]

had another appointment today, nothing happened. i'm being referred to a new gastro, and my primary doctor is going on maternity leave. i don't think ill call any of them to schedule another appointment. there just isn't much point anymore, i know it isn't going to get me anywhere meaningful. the pain i have is just going to last, and ill do with what i have right now (birth control) to manage it the best i can. i'm tired of getting my hopes up.

[endometriosis-blog]

wow it's been a long time since i've updated, mostly because nothing has really happened! i'm still in pain, still waiting for my next doctor appointments. but im also 20 now!

[endometriosis-blog]

at my appointment for today, not sure what to expect. it's just a general doctor, a follow up from july. i know for sure now the amitriptyline hasn't been helping with pain, and i don't think it helps with sleep either. i wake up multiple times during the night and i just don't feel well rested anymore. pain is definitely still there, ive been in the middle of a sorta bad flare up lately. honestly im just so lost. i don't think im going to keep pursuing surgery. or anything doctor related i guess. at this point what's the point right? if i get surgery it's just going to come back, so i might as well wait for it to get worse before i spend all that money. i'm even wondering if i should go off my birth control, but then i think about all the problems i have with that and im like okay maybe not. i could just stay on a good supply of birth control for the rest of my life i guess. at this point i can't see anything actually making me feel better.

[endometriosis-blog]

oh i also have my follow up with my primary on monday, oct 6. the gyno she referred me to really frustrated me so if she asks about it i don't know what ill say. i just know that the amitripyline doesn't help with pain or sleep anymore. i wake up multiple times during the night. either she'll say to stop taking it or go on a higher dose again. i also really want to buy a better heating pad. i got one from myobi but i got the cheapest one. think i might save up for the one with tens unit and remote control. idk, im just frustrated and tired and having pain every day. also it might be a while until i get surgery. my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, its early but she's probably going to have surgery to remove that. she's already had another surgery this year so i don't think we could afford anything for me on top of that

[endometriosis-blog]

yesterday at work my cramping was so bad i had to crouch down to get some relief i was sweating i was shaky and today at work i am wearing loose pants and my heating pad in preparation 👍

[endometriosis-blog]

me when my heating pad warms up and starts to burn and i can finally focus on something that isn't my intense bloating that i feel all the way up to my ribs 😁

[endometriosis-blog]

it's so difficult trying to keep track of my symptoms. i have an app where i can track each day, but just filling it out gets exhausting. i'll stay on top of it for a little, then fall off again. because at the end of the day it always feels like it never matters. i'm not finding any patterns. just on sunday i ended up with so much pain in my ribs that i couldn't sit down, breathe properly, or bend over. the next morning i hiked 4 miles in under an hour with no issue. now, again, im unable to stand up straight because i suddenly bloated after eating food that never normally gives me this much issue. i'm also going to run out of my amitriptyline because my doctor didn't refill it. i'm on 50mg and will probably have withdrawal symptoms.

[endometriosis-blog]

You know what? It’s fucking hard trying to get better. It’s exhausting managing doctors appointments, doing daily PT exercises, eating better, trying to exercise, trying to meditate, and doing ADL’s. I have had a bad crash per week trying to juggle and do all of the above.

It’s easier and less acutely painful to just coast and not actively work on ‘getting better’. Is the work worth it? I don’t know yet.

But to people who’ve tried and given up, to those who don’t even bother - you still deserve care and compassion.

[endometriosis-blog]

so i started my period in the middle of my birth control pack for some reason but anyways ive been using my heating pad so much i have an actual burn on my lower stomach

[endometriosis-blog]

...new doctor just told me to take birth control continuously.

[endometriosis-blog]

wow it's been a while again but anyways i have a new obgyn appt today also idk if i mentioned this but im on antidepressants called amitriptyline apparently it can help with pain but it hasn't. it has helped me sleep through the night though so idk i might stay on it. anyways ill update about the new doctor