endomino-blog

[endomino-blog]

night time thoughts

As many nights are with me, long before I am able to finally lay to sleep, I sit up and ponder about what is happening around me... Why am I becoming the thing that I am? What are my thoughts that I am so entwined with the angry side of my heart that I am not able to concentrate on the work at hand?

As of yet... I have not found an easy or liable answer to these two simple questions, and that in itself has me angry...and for some reason I don't know why. I don't know why such trifle little things; such unimportant, irrelevant things are making me feel so... out of control of my own temper. some of the things I do know, which would come to be obvious seeing my military back round, such as lack of respect from a new part time employee just trying to earn a few bucks as he finishes his senior year of high school, others as I'm still learning to drive a large semi truck... and body language.

my temper has just been out of control the last few days... and I find what is causing it the most is... learning again, how to outlet and re-speak, also how to properly control my already aggressive temperament to a point to which it is acceptable.

for me...someone who does not like to control his temper...this is the one thing that can make even the most meak... a murderer