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The Lonely

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The Spiral

Sam Handwich.

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I’ve always had a visceral dislike of wet ground clay. I grew up someplace with very clay heavy soil and every time it rained some random patches of dirt would get all slick and stain your shoes an awful bright red. Sometimes I would need to dig in the wet clay, smearing the residue all over my hands and making it very difficult to hold the shovel or spade. What I hated the most was how the clay bent as you lifted the shovel, I couldn’t help but imagine it as a louse digging out of skin or the earth itself breathing. At the end when I went inside to wash off, the sink would become a red frothy pool and you always, some how, got a bit on your face. I think about how many world cultures independently decided that people were made of clay because of how similar it is to flesh. I don’t really feel this way towards modeling clay or ceramics just wild clay.

The Flesh

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why are there two of you

All the better to stare at you 👁👁

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Hi. Don't know if you remember me, but I'm the guy with protecting-from-the-corruption spider dreams

Was drawing Spiderman for my friend's birthday, and I think they liked it?? I can't remember much from my dreams, apart from them being filled with dozens if not hundreds of spiders

And there are more of them in this house now.

I just had one fall out of my hair, I'm not sure, but it might not be the only one

Here, take her as evidence to your artefact storage or something. I'll go.. brush my hair

They liked to nest in mine too, once… of course I had to stop allowing it, due to the situation.

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i have this really odd fear that makes me jumpy at night and keeps me awake. i keep vividly imagining finding a figure or a face in my house at night, just like in a jumpscare. this happens most nights and makes the journey from the bathroom to my bed nerve-wracking.

most people would be afraid of an intruder, or an attacker, so this must be that, right? whenever i imagine it the thing it is just standing there, terrifyingly, by itself, whether it’s just a man with a knife at the end of the hallway with his face hidden in darkness, or a strange creature with a big smiling mask at my eye level behind the bathroom door, or a wolf-creature crouched at the foot of my bed, only its face in view. whatever it is, it’s been there for a while and i’m only just seeing it.

but i wonder what about it scares me so much, because i can never imagine what it does next. it doesn’t attack me, or threaten me. it’s the moment i notice its presence and stare back at it, replaying over and over. i have to put on a light to put my mind at ease.

so am i really just afraid of an intruder, of a mere presence where it doesn’t belong? am i afraid of the unfamiliarity? maybe it’s the eyes, the being stared at. maybe it’s just another type of fear of the dark. or maybe it’s just that it feels like a horror movie, something designed to keep me on edge. whatever it is, i can’t get myself to stop thinking about it once i start.

tl;dr i’m terrified of being jumpscared by something irl and i don’t know why it’s so hard to get my mind off of

I would call that the Dark. It’s not really the fear of having anything done to you - it’s the fear that something was there and you didn’t know, that there could always be something nebulously dangerous hidden right next to you. You can’t trust your senses to alert you of danger, not because they lie as the Spiral does, but simply because they are not sharp enough. Your eyes cannot pierce the night. Anything could be there waiting for you.

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everyone says cults are the web but im thinking at least some of them theyre at least a bit corruption too, after all in my case and probably some others it was the corruption of good intentions

Cults are very varied and have space for multiple influences; if I had to pick one, it would be the Web, as a cult’s most defining feature is the pervasive control, but the Corruption is certainly up there too, in the sense of toxic attachment and the hive-like qualities as well.

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Ive tried to bite my own finger off at least once but apparently your brain has an override that prevents you from biting down hard enough. Smh im just hungry.

Through the Flesh this obstacle can be vanquished.

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I am finding myself relating more and more to Jane Prentiss as of late. There is a wasps nest in my wall, right next to where my head lays when I sleep. I’m afraid to open my window, as the nest sits just below its frame, but I keep staring out it, watching them fly in and out of the gaps between the tiles.

Aren’t they lovely to observe? Do you hear them sing when you sleep yet?

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I used to go to this writing thing at school, and I remember absolutely adoring our teacher. Nowadays, I know she was a therapist for kids, which means that's part of her job description, but anyway.

At the end of the semester, we got little diploma thingies (I don't think that's the word), and most teachers just wrote stuff like "You're a very clever girl, you should do your homework" when neither of these three things was true, or "You participate in class a lot and you're very kind to those around you" which... Eh?

I was usually amused by those. It was stupid. All just based around masks. Everyone was blind.

Not the writing teacher, though. No, not her.

I got to reading it, that big paragraph, and I just...

She noticed things. I was almost worried I'd read there something about "Oh, and by the way, are you trans?" or something.

I skipped class for the entirety of the next semester.

That's the Eye, right?

Correct! Get seen and understood idiot.

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The Flesh

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Seconded

it must feel so good as fuck to be a food growing mold. wow i love my spores #myspores

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Seconded

Botryoidal Hematite

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Seconded

Alfred Leete The Lure of the Underground 1927

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The Vast

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Well, the thing is, that is not how you are supposed to take magic mushrooms. You are supposed to eat them, which allows the psilocybin to be processed into psilocin before it enters the bloodstream. There has been studies in which the synthetic molecule was administered via injection, which produced a trip of expected length but setting in faster - am unsure of the hallucinatory effects of shooting a mushroom tea directly into the veins, but I am doubtful that it would be as efficient. From the reports of this story, it doesn’t seem that the man in question hallucinated for a notable period of time; he was only brought to the hospital days later when his organs started failing. As the fungi was alive in his bloodstream and not interacting with his digestive system, I don’t believe the chemicals would have kept being released into his blood past the initial high.

Don’t do this. Just eat them.

cool ideas to not do :)

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The Corruption

cool ideas to not do :)