eourfyes

[eourfyes]

I don’t think many people understand how demanding it is for stay-at-home parents. There is always a mess to clean, especially with toddlers. There is always laundry, folding, and putting everything away. You have to plan meals, cook the meals, and clean up again after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s never ending, yet some people think it’s the easiest job in the world.

[eourfyes]

You know what’s fucking stupid? False positive results on a pregnancy test.

I took three more tests this morning and they all came out negative. I’m not pregnant, and now I’m embarrassed and sad.

[eourfyes]

My mom is starting to use the correct pronouns for Kell, and honestly, it makes me happy.

[eourfyes]

My husband is great most of the time, and then sometimes he makes me feel unappreciated and neglected.

When is my husband going to do something nice for me for a change? I want to be taken care of the way I take care of him. I want the kind of attention I give to him. This makes me so fucking sad.

[eourfyes]

I upgrade my phone to the iPhone XR and I immediately become the clumsiest bitch on the planet. Fuck, dude.

[eourfyes]

Things:

- Therapy was yesterday. I spoke to Beverly about the meltdown I had last week Friday. We are now working on trying to find a way to control my rage issues because I’m completely off my meds and do not plan on getting back on them at all.

- I’m a bipolar Post-It person now. Everything I need to remember to do or appointments I need to attend is written on a Post-It, and stuck near the drawer near my bed.

Post-It’s because I am way passed forgetful. Tell me to get you a burger, I’ll come back with a hotdog. It’s bad.

- I know next school year is a bit far away for Kell, but I can’t help but feel afraid. How will big kid school treat Kellin? Will the school be able to accommodate her and allow her to use the nurse’s bathroom? Will boys and girls treat her differently, if they find out she’s biologically a male child? Will I get into a physical fight to defend my child, if someone has some ignorant shit to say? Because I will.

I’m so afraid for my baby.

- B’s birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. I have no gift ideas for him, except maybe a gnarly blowjob and this pussy.

Happy 29th! Nut in my mouth.

[eourfyes]

It’s moments like this when I’m really sad and crying that I wish I had someone to talk to. I’ve never felt so alone.

[eourfyes]

I love deep cleaning while I’m hypomanic. Hypomanic Jazz gets shit done.

[eourfyes]

[eourfyes]

It’s really weird to go to back to elementary school as a grown 26-year-old woman with tattoos. Kids stare, but they’re so nice.

[eourfyes]

Now that I’ve tried it out for myself, I believe in essential oils. Shit is either a godsend or witchcraft, either way I’m for it.

[eourfyes]

You know what I hate about my reoccurring tonsillitis? IT’S FUCKING REOCCURRING.

This is ridiculous. I’m miserable.

[eourfyes]

Okay, I just finished watching Juno and now I really want to try for another little Topasna.

[eourfyes]

I took a pregnancy test this morning and I’m kind of bummed out that it wasn’t positive. Just a month ago, I was tracking my ovulation and periods on my app to make sure I don’t end up pregnant, and here I am...bummed there’s not a plus sign.

The baby fever is real. I want another baby.

[eourfyes]

“Mom, I love you for all my heart.”

—Kellin

[eourfyes]

I don’t know what’s up with me this year, but I kind of want to skip Halloween and go straight to Christmas. Seriously, this is so weird of me.

By the way, does anyone else hate the super colorful Christmas wrappers? I’m more of a black, white, gold, and minimalist type of wrapping paper person. I can’t seem to find wrapping paper that I like.

[eourfyes]

I had a dream that I purposely stayed back after school to fuck this guy.

So, it went like this...

The teacher left the classroom, I walked out with her, but as soon as she turned the corner, I went back. I walked into the classroom and there was a full bathroom in the classroom. (So odd.) This curly-haired cutie with the baby face was naked in the shower, so I decided to get into the shower with him. You guys, let me just tell you...he gave me this tiny side smile and my vagina instantly got moist. I grabbed his face and we started making out. We got out of the shower where he lifted me up against the wall, and as soon as he was about to slip his cock inside me, OUR TEACHER WALKS IN...WITH MY FATHER.

Cockblocks, man.

Curly-haired cutie gets dressed quickly, walks outside of the classroom, and my father looks like he’s threatening the guy. I don’t know.

I’m getting dressed as quickly as I can, my father walks in, and now we’re arguing. It’s funny because we weren’t arguing about me almost having sex. We’re arguing because he came to pick me up from school and I was nowhere to be found. Apparently, he hates waiting.

There was a part where we were actually fighting each other and he slapped the glasses off my face, and I got so sad because my glasses broke in half.

Oh, and then I woke up worried because I thought my glasses were really broken.

P.S. Curly-haired cutie looked exactly like Jo Koy’s son, except he was a full grown ass man.