ephemeralwonder

[ephemeralwonder]

suddenly remembered this poem as i was making breakfast this morning & frantically googled “poem remembered to buy eggs?????????” & somehow managed to find it & it utterly knocked the wind out of me just as much as when i first read it

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Mahmoud Darwish - “Memory for Forgetfulness” 

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Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “These Days People Are Really Selling Me on California”

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Nikita Gill, from Fierce Fairytales Poems & Stories to Stir Your Soul; "Seven,"

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Emily L., Marguerite Duras // Bertrand Russell, What Desires are Politically Important? // Octavio Paz, "The House of Glances" // Mitski—Francis Forever // Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities // VIVINOS and QMENG, Alien Stage (Round 6) // Bryan Fuller, Hannibal (2013) // Richard Siken, "Little Monster" // Christa Wolf, Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays // Mitski—I Bet on Losing Dogs

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It occurred to me late one night, giggling at nothing and avoiding the ache in my chest, that hatred had never grown there. Despite everything, my heart was still so full, it still yearned to love. The pain in my chest was never from bitterness or rage, nor drear or dismay, but an overflow of love with nowhere to go. Hatred has never made its home in me.

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Hhh okay. I'm gonna be brave. Looking through some old poetry i wrote and feel like sharing this. I was apparently going through it at the time

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Lying in bed,  the tears have dried—  eyes still sticky  with damp corners. 

A cat rests on your stomach,  a dog curls by your side.  Frozen fingers peek out,  barely covered by the blanket. 

And you wonder,  when will it be your turn?

[ephemeralwonder]

— Rudy Francisco

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18 and 17 It's almost been a year.

19 and 17 I still think about you.

20 and 17 I've been drinking. I don't think I'm very good at it.

21 and 17 Do you think I can be the kind of person you wanted me to be?

22 and 17 Do you see me? I'm smiling for you.

23 and 17 You haunt my dreams.

24 and 17 I wonder what we could have been.

[ephemeralwonder]

— Donte Collins

[ephemeralwonder]

as i started to write this, tears falling down my cheeks, thinking about my death, my cat jumped into the trash can. i just stared for a while, tears still falling, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing— and i started to laugh.

it's hard to keep on living, and i forget the point of it all, but sometimes, the reason finds you, in the shape of triangle ears and big round eyes.

[ephemeralwonder]

when i was a kid, my mom wouldnt let me paint my nails red bc it was "too sexy"

well, for the first time in 25 years, i painted my nails red, i feel like i just tore into another person and if i licked my fingers id taste iron

maybe she was right

[ephemeralwonder]

dostoyevsky kinda ate with “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”

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Alex Dimitrov, from "Waiting at Stonewall", Love and Other Poems

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From Garous Abdolmalekian's book, Lean Against This Late Hour (Translated from the Persian by Ahmad Nadalizadeh and Idra Novey. Penguin Books.).

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Have you prayed to your God today?

Something I wrote for the exchange event on the writer’s server, for the prompt “write me your most ‘oh shit no one can ever see this they’re going to burn me at the stake’ idea.”

So. Computer being in love with her freaky creator.

(I got bonus points for including music)