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ercklln · 2 years

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winter nights | koner pt. 2

SUMMARY : if the gods could toss a coin right now, you wish they’d wager on how your relationship with the winterfell soldier would be. will it be pure despair or contentment?

koner x fem! reader

masterlist, @fhrlclln, pt. 1

GENRE : nsfw/smut

WARNINGS : lil’ angst, overthinking, fluff, smut (oral sex; m!receiving, blowjobs, p in v, unprotected sex & rough sex)

WORD COUNT : 7,469

a/n: i was deciding if whether i should put the timeline in GOT s7 but i just went away with being after the timeline of GOT so it’s easier to make shit up hehe. Y’ALL SORRY FOR THE DELAY. kinda added smth hehe. but here ya go. i like the ending hehe <3

likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated !! <3

enjoy !!

the morning sun came by as quickly as you expected. your eyes slowly fluttered open to see the light coming from the shut window peeking in. the residual coldness was seeping in as you snuggled yourself back against the warm body hugging you from behind. a strong arm draped over your waist, locking you tight against his chest. the gentle beat of his heart thumping against your back. you could almost fall asleep again, wanting no more than to lay on this bed with him. alas though, the man behind you was stirring awake as his hips rubbed against your bare ass making you shift a bit at the sudden sensation of something hard poking underneath the furs. a thought escaping your soiled mind, a small smile formed on your lips as your hand went down, earning a sharp gasp from the man behind.

hence, the morning awakened with the bed squeaking.

“a-ah!” you huffed, hips bouncing without any shame. your hands clawed his shoulders as koner grunted at the crook of your neck, hands grabbing your soft bum, squeezing them as he guided your hips a bit in the rhythm. you were a minx, a damn nymph for stroking him until he awoke hot and bothered. and here you are, bouncing up his cock as you rode him into an orgasm. like last night wasn’t enough cock for you.

“i think i’ve soiled you, ey?” koner grunted, his usual shyness and awkwardness already gone. he’s had you so many times last night, waking up to rutting himself to you in the middle of the night, desperate to feel your cunt enveloping his cock again as he moaned out, focusing on you again. “seven gods, you’re a goddess sent to me. i don’t deserve you.”

“y-you do.” you manage to squeak it out making him chuckle despite the loud skin slapping. his grunts went louder as the squelch of your pussy juice slapped against his balls and his stomach, dripping down as he could feel himself wanting to rut up to cum inside finally. but he let you take the lead, liking the furrow on your forehead how serious you are to fuck yourself on his cock.

“i’m close.” you whispered, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, panting against his ear as you rutted your hips ruthlessly. cock sliding in and out as your cunt clamped around him, your clit rubbing slight against his stomach as the familiar coil in your belly arose.

“go on, m’lady.” he urged, kneading the dough of your ass. you kissed him, the urgency taking over as you rode him harder, tits bouncing as he sucked the bottom of your lip making you whimper. “let it go, want to see you feel good around me’ cock.”

“y-yes!” you nodded as you slammed down. koner let out a soft moan as his balls tightened, he rutted up to help you as he could feel himself cumming as well. your belly snapped, your back arched as your rutted endlessly with your orgasm flooding your whole entire body. koner threw his head back as your cunt gripped him, making him slam himself up to the brim to fill your cunt up as he shoots his seed. you kissed his neck gently, the wonderful euphoria enveloping your body as you two rode down your highs. the coldness of the room replacing with warmth of each other’s body heat. all perfect for a morning fuck.

“i feel like my insides are full of you.” you sighed out, eyelids fluttering from the rigorous coupling. too fucked out to even cover yourself. he indeed filled you up to the brim, his remaining cum still inside you from last night mixed with the warm one, gushing out of you. you felt chummy as you laid back on the furs, whilst koner let out a chuckle, laying right next to you with his head propped on the pillows. admiring you so dearly.

“mhm. but you like it?” he teased, kissing your bare shoulder. you hummed, a smile forming lazily as he pulled you to his arms.

“maybe.” you grinned as he kissed your lips briefly again.

“liar.” he whispered to your lips as you giggled at his tactics. the day finally started as sounds of footsteps outside your door begun to arise from their beds. you can hear the familiar chatter down below and the sounds of horses coming from outside. your heart beats loudly as you were situated now in the bathtub, caressing your skin with a cloth as koner was on the bed, cleaning his armor and sword while you watched him with greedy eyes. shirtless with just his trousers on, muscles budging on his pale skin every flex he did as he run a cloth through his sword, wiping off the dried blood. the remembrance of the bloody circumstances you had met him.

you could only hold back a smile as you continued your bath. feeling the familiar flutter in your chest as each scrub in your body reminded you the way he touched you. you certainly liked him, a lot, for just a night of knowing the man. you didn’t know if you were so naive and stupid, but your mother wasn’t here to tell you that. though, an uncertainty escaped your thoughts. you glanced to the sweet man on the bed, you weren’t dumb of course to think if he only wanted this and begone once you two arrive in winterfell. you craved him, wanting more than just this unexpected amour. it was illicit, you thought, the happiness mixing with doubt.

you’re young. you could hear you mother’s words. you cannot grasp what you want or what you claim to need. you are to be a lady. act like one. the bitterness on your tongue stayed as you looked down on the soapy water. conflicted as you are, you let out a sigh as you looked up to be met with a pair of those brown-honey orbs filled with glee.

“having fun there, my love?” he leaned in to place a chaste kiss on your lips then to your wet cheek. you hummed, bottling your thoughts up as you cupped his rosy cheeks.

“just tired and sore. my hips feel like jelly.” you pouted, a frown escape his lips as he kissed your cheek again for an apology yet you smiled at him before he could apologize. “but, i feel amazing.”

“yes?”

“certainly.” you whispered as his lips brushed against yours. koner felt like he was put in a trance, this pretty lady luring him in the tub. he was about to give in yet a sharp knock on the door made him sigh, as the sunny voice from last night followed through making you laugh.

“cockblocker.” he muttered as he stood up, leaving you to the warm water as he opened the door to be met by that charming bar maiden. her hands holding a tray of two soups and a tea of some sort, then a big loaf of bread that made his mouth water.

“g’morning, lad!” she grinned widely.

“morning.” koner nodded.

“i’ve got two soups and a fresh loaf, on the house for the lady and you.” she handed the tray to him with glee, the warm aroma of the soups hitting his nose followed by the warm bread. almost like the memory of his mother’s cooking.

“you’re too kind, miss.”

“ah, ‘s nothing.” she chuckled. “i’ve also brewed a herbal tea for the lady. make sure you give it to her.” she gestured to the pipping hot mug. he rose a brow at that making the barmaid grin wider, a teasing look in her eyes as koner eyed her suspiciously. questioning the concoction.

“tea?”

“for unwanted surprises, dear!” his eyes widened at the boldness of her words. “brewed that myself, my own little recipe. after your little ruckus last night, the whole inn can hear you two. so, i thought—“

“t-thank you!” koner cut her off, red rose to his cheeks as he closed the door immediately. the bar maiden let out a snort as he put the tray on the old wooden table. you had just finished drying yourself up, putting on the dress you wore from yesterday. the silks warming you up as you begun tying the silk ribbon to secure the dress.

“the kind lady brought food?” you glanced to the table seeing the white loaf and soup still steaming. your mouth watering as your stomach grumbled.

“kind enough to make you a special tea as well.” he added. “on the house.” he urged the mug to you. your brows furrowed slightly as you grabbed the mug, giving it a quick sniff.

“tea for what?” you glanced at him seeing his smirk as he kissed your cheek. taking a sip cautiously, grimacing at the bitter flavor. like those medicinal herbs you took when you were ill with a cold as answered your curious mind with a little cockiness in his tone. making you spit the tea a little at the answer afterwards.

“for unwanted surprises from this night and morning’s activity, love.”

•••

the snow had melted surrounding the inn. dull grass were in your view as you stood outside of the tavern, cloak and other necessities in hand as you waited patiently for koner and the stable boy to bring out the horses. your bare fingers started to fiddle with each other. glee fluttering in your chest, never had you felt more happier than ever. your thoughts raced immediately as you heard the hooves clicking on the soil. you turned around to see koner guiding the two horses. back in his winterfell armor, helmet and all. his black beauty and your white mare he was holding the reins of. you could tell she was feeling fine after her arrow wound.

“is she suitable to ride on?” you asked, smiling as you petted her snout, earning a approved gruff from the mare. worried for her injured leg.

“she’s fit for riding again.” koner caressed your horse’s mane. “a night’s rest had sufficed her, m’lady.” he added.

“m-my name will do just fine, koner.” you reminded him, a slight pout on your lips. even though you liked him calling you lady, it always felt a bit off.

“of course. apologies.” he grinned as he helped you up to your horse. gripping your waist, lifting you up strongly to situate yourself on the saddle. you fixed yourself, moving your hips to make you a bit comfortable as you watched him get on his horse.

“winterfell’s just by the end of this road. i think we can arrive there before my watch partner gets suspicious.” he looked from beyond as you guided the horse next to his. you nodded, tailing beside him as the dirt road got wider, your field of vision able to see the old castle walls of winterfell. the banner of the direwolf proud and independent.

“winterfell still looks like the same after all these difficult years.” you commented, the wind brushing against your cheek. you admired the gray walls, reminiscing the time you loved walking around the garden inside. the big red tree you would see, always astonishing you.

“and all the blood it’s witnessed.” he added grimly. you nodded at that, after rob and ned stark’s death, everything had changed as you have heard. you weren’t able to comfort sansa in king’s landing back then, your family forbidding you so to be involved in whatever scheme was going on. little you know yet for certain a gruesome outcome for the stark family. you glanced again to koner, a creep in the back of your neck bothering you as you two hadn’t talked about whatever was going to be the outcome of your relationship right now. unspoken as it is, genuine affection was plastered in his face as he caught your eye. you smiled at him, seeing as the walls of winterfell neared.

you two arrived at the front gate, koner was talking to some men as they let you through the metal gate. you were met by the familiarity of winterfell. it wasn’t as dull and grey it used to be, you can see more people were livelier than ever. morality gleeful than it was before. you condemned sansa’s ruling after they had been independent now. the north returning to it’s rightful place. having a queen in the north.

“oi, koner! you fucking twat. where in the seven hells have you been?” a roaring voice interrupted your thoughts. you could hear koner grunt out something, visibly annoyed seeing a fellow soldier march towards him. you got off your horse, seeing as the dispute between them turned into hush whispers. like siblings brawling you could tell.

“first, you fucking ditch the night watch and now you’re what!? saving a lady in the woods, you fuck—“

“henk, you stupid fuck. the m’lady y/n from house…” you got a little close to them, shrugging off your cloak as your eyes met with his. the other soldier seem to notice his sudden stare as he turned to you. eyes widening as his helmet clanked when koner hit him square on the head.

“good day.” you nodded to the embarrassed soldier. he seem to caught on your face as you noticed some other soldier retreating to the great keep.

“m’lady.” he bowed his head slightly out of greeting. “a-apologies.” he whispered something to koner afterwards, signaling something, yet he was bested to it when you were met with another soldier. your attention was now caught as you were told you would be escorted with koner to the great keep. the awaiting queen mentioned making koner freeze instantly as he stood beside you.

“are you nervous?” you asked him, walking up to be met by the large wooden door. two guards guarding the outside.

“it’s not so common for a foot solider to be summoned by her grace.” he whispered, a slight tremble in his tone. visibly sweating a bit underneath his armor.

“it’s going to be fine.” you assured him, hand squeezing his for a moment seeing him calm down bit by bit as the doors creaked open. your lingering touch making him seize his nervousness.

the hall was empty as you two got in, your house name being called. you lifted your dress a bit to walk, the teachings of etiquette now in display as koner watched you with his head bowed. you gracefully walking to the northern queen sitting on the throne. him, bending his knee at her presence. you were met with the familiar blue eyes and the locks of red hair adorning her silver crown.

“your grace.” you greeted, not forgetting to bow before her as she stood from her place. an uneasy silence between the two of you. you admired her for a second, seeing her once sparkling eyes now to this matured dull, a coldness in her face you could tell. a pity in your stomach forming as you remained formal. you could remember the feasts garnered here in the great hall, you could remember arya throwing food at sansa whilst jon, robb and theon laughed at it. the memory of little bran running around while ned and catelyn stark sat upon their chair. the melancholy so bitter yet sweet to remember.

“it has been a long time.” she started, stepping forward as a small smile creeped on her lips. you were about to respond yet she engulfed you in a kind hug. you were taken a back at the sudden warmth, your hands splayed on her back as you smiled, meeting eye to eye now. a glimpse of the sansa you knew appearing. “how have you fared?”

“i am well, your grace.” you grinned. “weeks journey with my two men from king’s landing. but under different circumstances it changed. one of your soldiers has guided me safely here. i couldn’t be more grateful.” you took a step back, gesturing to koner who arose from his bended position, looking down now as he shyly met your eyes. a moment flew as sansa looked at him briefly, remembering as the one who had reported with that other soldier named henk about arya. you held your gaze for him, softening your features as koner looked back to his queen.

“under different circumstances?” she asked looking to the man in question.

“bandits, your grace. in the woods outside of the walls, i have found her there surrounded by them whilst i was scouting the area.” he answered, a little lie there to not mention he was lazying his post.

“it was brash of me to think i could travel in a small group.” you sighed, shrugging. “but no less am i injured nor is koner.”

“i, thank you, koner.” she nodded to him as he froze in his place, a gratitude from her majesty? you observed him as a smile escaped your lips for but a moment, only to disappear as koner’s face contorted to something else, a glint in his eyes you could tell something wasn’t right. a realization in him that had you wondering.

“just doing a soldier’s job, your grace.” he bowed his head, sansa dismissed him as he met your gaze again. you held yourself to his brown orbs, a feeling of your eyes asking him without words if you’ll see him again. a flicker showed, something else. he averted your gaze, a dread filled your throat as you watched him walk out of the halls and back to where he was. you couldn’t help but feel as if this was either a departure, your heart couldn’t take the thought anymore as sansa’s muffled words brought you back from your head.

“i believe we have a lot of catching up to do.” she smiled, offering her arm as you took it gladly. you two alone without any audience, the formal mask slowly disappearing as two childhood friends were present now.

“yes. w-we do.” you chuckled, masking your frown, looking back briefly to the closing big doors to see his figure slowly disappear from your field of vision. the uncertainty coming back, lulling yourself back into the world, hoping that last night and this morning wasn’t the last you’ll see him. or maybe in forever.

•••

mixed emotions were flying through the air as you sat in your room, a beautiful room you were brought in. warmth comforted you as you sat alone on your bed, a familiarity you had as you remembered the room you shared with him. the walk with sansa across the courtyard indeed made you feel a little better. it momentarily took your mind off the things you were dealing with, specifically the emotions you were wondering if this was right. you had remembered briefly the wide grin sansa had when you two were talking about your naive phases you two would marry. so young and full of fantasies that turned grim as reality hit the both of you. you liked that you could understand her after everything she had gone through.

to that awful joffrey baratheon then to the usurp of the freys, ramsay bolton a sensitive topic and one you knew sansa had changed after that vile man. she’s already a strong woman as you knew, just that the cruel world had made her cold to what they did to her. you nipped the bottom of your lip now, fidgeting the soft fabric of the wine red dress you wore, the hems and edges adorned with gold lace patterns and your bodice showcasing your cleavage a bit. it’s pretty, pretty for a feast you had to attend to this night. you stood up from your place, looking at yourself from the mirror as the candle lights flickered in the room.

get it together. you thought to yourself, fixing anything out of place as a knock on your door signaled you it was time to go. you took a deep breath, pushing down your worried state for him as you opened the door to be met with a surprise.

“ease down, love. it’s just me. i’ve come to escort you.” koner chuckled, you were silent to his face lit up again. than the one in hall, maybe it was just you right now. how your mind is overthinking, situations you come up in your head that lead to one cause. you’re scared. scared and uncertain for this one unexpected upbringing that made you happy and if it will end in the days to go. foolish thoughts it was, he’s standing right here wasn’t he? he still wants you for certain.

“koner.” you manage to breath out his name before pulling him in the room by his armor, slanting your lips against his with much fervor. like you wanted to savor him before you’d be back in king’s landing by the following weeks. as if time would run out if you didn’t act further. you need him.

“m’lady,” koner grunted, mumbling between your kisses. “m’lady, please—“ you didn’t hear him, choosing to pull him in further. “y/n, please. my love, not here.” he pulled away, gripping your shoulders to secure you. your eyes widened, a blush creeped up to your cheeks, embarrassment taking over.

“a-apologies.” you squeaked out, the look on his face made you crumple feeling the sting of the slight rejection. he doesn’t—

“you are trembling.” he noticed, your heart thumps against your chest as you averted his gaze just like he did before.

“i-i don’t— i don’t know why i’m…” you stuttered, feeling so dumb, as if you thought the kiss would solve your undying thoughts and desire. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have kissed you so sudden.”

“it’s not like i displease your sweet affection, love. i fear for anyone who sees upon us, a soldier and a lady. i do not wish to damage your image.” he caressed your arms, slowly gliding down to grasp your hands to his large gloved ones. you stared down to his hands as he brought both of your soft ones to his lips, kissing them gently. he still wants you. your mind repeated. the bitterness washing away.

“right.” you nodded, still feeling jittery. not like you wish to care about presenting your house, but thoughtful he was to care about you.

“why are you so shaken, my love?” koner asked sincerely, bringing your hand to his chest to hear his beating heart. koner seemed to notice the slight tremble on your sweet lips, the ones he had kissed and cherished, worshipped you this morning and the night before. it took him all the amount of restraint to not have you in here. though, he was worried seeing you like this. it was bad enough for him to get so nervous seeing you become a true sophisticated lady in front of her grace. a new person he had see in you than what he had witnessed alone before. idiotic he is to think so insecurely right now, but you were both idiots with your heads stuck up in each other’s stubborn thoughts.

“this… between us—“ you started, finally meeting his eyes again. “it’s not just a fleeting moment, is it?” you asked hopefully.

“us?” he looked a little surprised at the sudden question. he had been holding himself back for asking that as well, afraid of your answer.

“y-yes. i think i’ve made it clear that i like you…” you bashfully added. “from the morning and the night before. i can’t help but f-feel uncertain where this would lead.”

“i do like you as well, m’lady.” he strongly implied, looking in your eyes to get to his point. he does want you, in every selfish thoughts he had desired. from the moment he saw you in the woods and the first time he made you smile he was certain it would be you. you looked at him clearly this time, seeing if he was certain. his lips almost brushed against yours as he breathed out his want. “i want nothing more than to have you, if you’ll have me.”

desire runs through both of your veins. the mere closeness had you wanting for more. you could feel it again, the heat in your cunt, the same thing he had relieved you from with his cock. you hadn’t notice how warm you are just thinking about him here.

you let out a shuddery breath. “then, does it mean…”

“lady y/n?” a maid’s voice was heard as your heads whipped to the slight ajar door. the maid was about to get in but you opened it wide as koner stepped out to guide you making the maid surprise.

“m’lady.” she greeted, nodding her head to you. “your grace has requested your presence.” she looked to koner suspiciously before averting her gaze to you.

“yes. koner was just escorting me to her.” you lied, as the maid nodded and scurried off. you two fell silent the way there, you grasped his hand before going separate directions once the great hall was in view. a reminder to continue the conversation later. adorned with torches set in an ambiance as all higher ups, knights and visiting nobles adorned the hall. laughter and the scent of ale filled the entire once dull room as you could see sansa briefly talking with the lord commander of the night’s watch. her brother you remembered. that familiar black hair and attire. jon snow. you strutted towards them as you were greeted by every noble that knew of your father. finally sansa was able to stand beside you as one of the servers offered you a goblet of wine which you gladly accepted, sipping it a bit.

“fashionably late?” she asked, still a stoic expression in her face yet you knew she was teasing you.

“the bodice was a little tight to fit in, your grace.” you lied and took another sip, feeling shy all the sudden.

“it’s wonderful to see you happy.” she added, showing you a small smile as she leaned a bit to whisper. “so as he, i presume.” her gaze followed through the end of the hall. you held yourself back from reacting to widely, to know how observant she is. of course, she knew. koner was standing by the doors, watching intently in the whole room. doing his duty.

“is it that o-obvious?”

“maybe so.” she quietly said, sipping from her goblet. she didn’t say anything further but it had you reeling for the night. you took a seat amongst the table, dazzling ladies of every kind surrounding you, all chit chatting around and gossiping as ever. you tuned in from time to time, bored out of your wits but i felt good to drink and mingle. your gaze drifts afar as you glanced down to the hall, knowing clearly who you want to see. a little game you want to play.

koner grunts as he shifted himself in his posture. he yawned a bit as he heard henk, a few feet away from him, yawn as well. he felt rather uncomfortable, the reason inside his pants mainly. you looked beautiful from afar with that evening dress on, he couldn’t help but stare from time to time, feeling cocky that he’s got you. unruly thoughts in his head that he felt like his balls were suffocating, he feels like he’s a big debauchee just ogling his eyes at you. remembering the time he had touched you good. remembering your sweet smile and blissed out expression he so adored. he stirs his thoughts away, wanting to be a little respectful, but damn it—

he’s caught your gaze again. minx. you look at him from afar, standing up from your place as noble men from different houses from the north surrounded you. old hags and young pricks and all. but you looked at him slyly as you made one lord laugh out loud. he could feel it, the glint in your eyes, you presented yourself as this soft and well-mannered girl in front of those viktor eyes, but you were just a nymph, huh? his lady. his lips pursed as he felt the bulge in his trousers grow harder as you glanced to him again.

you felt a little bold for seeing him get so worked up as you excused yourself from the crowd. already sipped and took bites from the feast presented, drank your wine to the brim, feeling a bit tipsy. you looked towards koner again, walking to the direction to the room halls now. knowing he’s got your memo. it’s a bit of a long walk, no suspicion to be added knowing he knows the place than you do. you find yourself by your door, seeing as the candles were lit out from this point of the place. you glad your room was still lit with candles as you opened it, taking a step in only for another figure to push you in gently, securing the lock on the door. you turned around, wanting to scold him for being so impatient though koner cut you off as he sealed his lips to yours harshly.

•••

“you’re a fucking vixen.” he says between kisses, gloved hands cupping your ass. you squealed as he roughly hoisted you up to his arms, your hands flying to his shoulders as he plopped you on the bed. not breaking from your mouth as he lavished your tongue to his. you moaned, hands coming up to grasp his curly locks, surprised he was quick to shrug off his helmet and cloth protecting his head.

“it’s rude to be impatient.” you teased, the alcohol in your veins making you frisky. “haven’t your mother taught you manners?”

“says the one who wanted me a while ago.” he smirked.

“and i-i still do.” you pouted, your thoughts from before now gone. koner leaned in again as he kissed the corner of your mouth, caging you from above as you got to see the feral look in his eyes, dilated black, an ounce of brown only to be seen.

“let me show you how much i need you, y/n.” he breathed out, knowing well how riled up you are as well. your words he remembered clearly that you were uncertain where the two of you would go on like this. he’d show you so much more if you’d allow him.

“please.” you pleaded again and again. until the night shined, the familiar setting of the room where you two once did it for the first time. all uncertainties thrown away, just the two of you now naked and bare. you stared at hung cock, thighs rubbing together as you wondered what it felt like in your mouth.

“i want to please you.” you said before he could grasp your plush thighs to devour you again. “i want t-to do what you did to me last night. the tongue on…” your cheeks heated up as he went silent for a moment.

“you want my cock in your mouth, my love?” he grinned, cheeks red as you nodded. he kissed you again, a shiver running down his spine seeing how eager you are to want his cock.

“please. it’s all i’ve been thinking about.” you shamelessly confessed.

“i don’t think you can take it, love.” he sounded a bit worried of course, both of you were inexperienced, and this was the first time he’d ever gotten someone to explore sexual fantasies, let alone now the thought of you sucking his cock. but how could he say no to you? with that feral look on your face as you stared down to his shaft. desperate as ever. selfish whore you are.

“i can take it.” you promised, licking your lips. breasts squished together as he shamefully groped them making you moan as he slanted his mouth to yours with a approved hum.

“alright, we’ll take it slow.” he mumbled as you eagerly nodded. he got up from the bed, standing at the edge as you crawled to kneel before him on the cushions. you were met face to face with cock, tip bearing red, twitching before you. you hummed, not sure how to start but started to lick the oozing liquid from the small slit. koner shuddered, head tilting back as your tongue darted out to lick him seeing his pleased reaction.

“shit.” he muttered, you grew tired as you placed wet kisses on his shaft. hand lifting up to grasp him fully, trying your best to follow your mind what’s right or what’s wrong what you were doing. trying to remember what filth maids spew how to please a man. you finally opened your mouth, a little hesitant yet you took his tip in. he let out a groan, cupping your cheeks as you sucked his tip, tongue circling the bulb making him shudder. seven gods, he bit his lip hard seeing you take his cock in your mouth.

you hummed around it, licking it like he had licked you. you pushed it in further, enough courage to take him despite his width and length. you braced yourself, hands gripping his thighs as he caressed your cheeks making you look up as you hollowed to take him slowly even though you could feel yourself gagging.

“that’s it…” he muttered hoarsely as you sucked him. earning a loud moan from the man above. you grinned to yourself, taking him again. “oh gods.” his cheeks were bright red as his fluttered shut to the pleasure, the wet cavern of your mouth a new sensation to him. he can feel himself throb as you continued to suck leisurely. hips moving as he fucked your mouth, you relaxed your jaw, taking him in, wanting him to use your mouth.

“i’m close.” he huffed out, pulling himself out of your mouth wanting to cum inside you. you mewled, your saliva glistening on his cock, mouth drooling and your lips pouty. he kissed you, harder with more passion than he could ever muster. pushing you to lay back on the bed, he hovered above you, kissing down to your neck as you breathed out his name.

koner pressed his forehead to yours as his hand fiddled with your deprived clit, so wet and glistening as you opened your legs willingly. he hummed in satisfaction, still in daze as he kissed you again before lining himself up to your cunt. tip poking at your wet entrance as your hips rutted up to the sensation.

“you take me so well.” he whispered against your lips. your eyelids fluttered as you could feel him slowly sink in to your awaiting cunt. you whimpered, gripping his biceps as he fucked himself in to the brim of your warm pussy. your back arched, your nails scraped his freckled skin. he started pounding in, deep and hard. desperate he is, as your other hand dropped to interlace with his free one while the other leveraged himself above you, trying not to squish you with his weight.

“feels amazing.” you whispered, only his to hear. your voice in heaven as you wrapped your arms around to pull him closer. wanting to feel his skin to yours, the tingles following through as you stared at his eyes even though you felt like you were dizzy. his nose brushed against yours as his hips slapped along the rhythm, the obscene skin slapping and grunts echoing in the room, the scent of his alone making you feel at heaven.

your hearts beats against your chest again, a fluttery feeling in the inside of your stomach seeing his eyes show a display of affection you longed to see. how soft he looked and he admired you, this connection so close you could almost feel like you’ve known each for a long time. koner could only admire your beauty below him, you are an goddess sent to him. one that he certainly didn’t expect for him to find you. your breaths mingled with each other, each noise spilling from either mouth as you could feel yourself nearing your high.

“let go.” he urged, feeling your cunt squeeze him tight. quickening his pace as you sobbed feeling him pound into your hard as he didn’t break eye contact. wanting to see your face again when you fall apart. and so you did.

your belly coiled and snapped, your orgasm washing in as you moaned against koner’s lips. he shuddered, grunting as he rutted himself faster than ever, your walls milking him tight as he filled you to the brim with his seed. he groaned, lazily fucking into you to ride that high. you sighed out, kissing him softly as you caressed his curly short hair. a silence passed, soft caresses exchanged, glowing in the aftercare. koner pulled out with a hiss as he laid beside you. hand interlaced with yours, placed on your chest so he could feel the rhythm of your thumping heart.

“i don’t want to leave so soon.” you mumbled lazily, remembering you only had a certain amount of time to enjoy the rest of your stay in winterfell before you are summoned back to king’s landing. expected you are you’d be match with someone soon, remembering your mother’s words.

“how long are you staying?” he asked, kissing your shoulder.

“maybe a week or two. i do not know.” you shrugged, sighing. wishing you’d be here for a month, wanting to savor this blossoming relationship you have with him.

“then we’ll make use of the time, my love.” he whispered suggestively, pulling you in his arms. you sighed, resting your head against his chest as you needed to say it to him. what it means if this between you two needs to end and if he wants it further as you want to.

“koner.” your voice went soft and gentle. the thump of both of your hearts synchronizing. “if i go back, if i come back to king’s landing, then i’ll be wedded to some man the second i set foot there.” you mumbled, your fingers caressing his chest. “then this will be just a fleeting moment for you and i. illicit it is, but…”

“then you want this to end?” he gulped, a bitterness in his throat. remembering his place being a mere soldier and you, a noble lady.

“i want you.” you strongly replied. “i don’ want this to end.” you murmured, snugging yourself in his body warmth. basking in what maybe the few wonderful moments you’ll have with him.

“and i you.” he whispered, the courage in strong as he spilled his thoughts out. “i want nothing more than you beside me. even if we just met, i’d like to know you more than now, my love. want you to myself. even if it’s just for a moment that you’ll be gone after your visit here. i’d still want you.” he added, the sadness in his tone creeping in, mixing with his sweetness. as if he was saying he’s starting to love you. which he certainly does. he’s sure as ever even if it feels idiotic to think he can fall in-love so fast.

“koner…” you felt like crying, you leaned up to kiss him. “i’ll remember this.” you smiled at him sadly, he kissed you again, driving your thoughts away from what might come. all you two needed was each other, no future, just the present moment of what’s come to be a promised faith the gods had set.

•••

days had gone by. week after week had been bled. your stay here in winterfell was nearing it’s end as expected. a raven had been sent to you, writing of your father as he and your mother had found you suitable match. one from the most wealthiest houses in king’s landing. you’d swallow the disgust and fear reading that you were to be sent off to some lord. though, it didn’t matter as you had been enjoying your stay with koner. secret kisses shared between you two, him leading you out in the dead of the night just to see the stars from the courtyard. making love to you when the day is asleep. it felt nice to know how happy he looked as he introduced you to his family one day while you were passing by. and now, walking hand in hand with him as the snow falls, no other people around you two as you walked around the godswood of winterfell. the large tree harboring red leaves and it’s bark of a bleeding face. the small pond in front of it. beautiful it is to see.

“my mother sent a raven.” you started, stopping to stand in front of him with your hand still intertwined. koner took a step forward as his hand cupped your cheek, you leaned into his warmth as tears pooled in your eyes. the red leaves swaying above the two of you as the water rippled catching the leaf.

“what did it say?” he quietly asked, knowing what to expect as he gulped a lump.

“a marriage proposal has been accepted. i am to be wed once i come home.” you sniffled, tears falling to your cheeks. koner pulled you into his arms as he shushed your sobs.

“y/n.” he whispered even though he felt like this was a farewell.

“i don’t want to leave y-you.” you confessed sadly. gripping his armor. “i don’t want to go.”

“but you’ll have to…” he sadly added as he wiped your tears, his own eyes tearing up. you looked at him, wanting to remember his face as you leaned up to kiss him. like the first time you had did in the tavern, soft and gentle. he kissed you back, pulling you closer to breath in your scent. he didn’t want this to end either.

“i love you, koner.” you breathed out, heart telling you so that this was real. you weren’t some naive girl to not know what you want, your heart and mind said so. you love him. he seemed to be surprised as he processed your words in his mind.

“i love you too.” he kissed the tip of your nose as an idiotic thought escaped his mind. if your family didn’t want him, didn’t want you to choose for yourself then he might as well propose this thought he had for a while. a one he was too ashamed to break it to you. you waited for him to say anything else seeing his expression shifted as if he was thinking of something. you sadly smiled at him as you shook your head whatever he might say that he couldn’t spit out.

“koner…”

“marry me.”

you froze, tears staining your cheeks at his words making you take a step back. “w-what?”

“marry me.” he repeated, stepping forward, you looked at him as if he was going mad which he is if it ever meant to let you stay here with him. “right here. marry me and i’ll provide for you, i have enough for us to get a small home outside of here. just the two of us. marry me, y/n. it’s foolish, but i…”

“yes.” you nodded vigorously, somehow you didn’t feel idiotic as ever saying yes. meaning you had to give up everything you had at home. not like your family had used for you since you had a few older siblings. you were just being wed off to get rid of a nuisance.

“yes?”

“yes!” koner grinned as he swooped you in his arms. you laughed, feeling certain as ever. no sense of uncertainty or the voice of your mother screaming at you inside of your head.

“marry me, right here and now. just the two of us and the trees and our vows.” he whispered hoarsely, gaze drunken as he set you down to hold your hands together. “we’ll call a septon once i get you in a pretty white dress. but for now, just our vows.”

“and the trees.” you teasingly added, the winds swayed with one another. the snow fell softly above you two as the quietness of the grove heard only your vows. you stared at him, repeating the words in hushed whisper. the same ones you had met in the woods, the first glance you knew your world would change entirely as your words were unison. koner could only let himself bask in the sight of you doing this brash act, his heart thumping wildly, not caring the consequences as he had you now. only the godswood tree witnessed the undying act of love being held as your voices synchronized. not leaving one’s gaze as the red leaves fell hearing your vows.

“father, smith, warrior, mother, maiden, crone, stranger. i am hers and she is mine, from this day, until the end of my days.”

#koner x reader #koner #koner got #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #game of thrones #joseph quinn’s characters ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ 🎀#fnhrlcllnwrites

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ercklln · 2 years

Text

me to canon eddie : “would you do this to me?”

BUT THIS IS SO GOOD, IT MADE ME SOB. IM HAPPY HE’s MISERABLE IN THE END 🫶

Heinous Regret With No Salvation - Eddie Munson

Part Four of Until the Chaos is Through & What Remains in the Wake & Blessed Silence After This Mayhem

Part One - Until the Chaos is Through

Part Two - What Remains in the Wake

Part Three - Blessed Silence After This Mayhem

Summary: Eddie chooses to betray you. He comes to realise it's the worst thing he's ever done.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: angst, cheating (both referenced/implied and described), swearing, injuries, also! remember! we love chrissy irl! but in this, she can burn in hell

a/n: this is the FINAL final part of this little series. it's a full eddie pov, and it's just pure angst

thank you again for how much support i've received for this chaos series

my requests are open!

<3 aeia

Masterlist

Eddie wasn’t sure when it had started, that funny feeling he got when he was with Chrissy.

It definitely hadn’t been there the first time he sold her drugs. He had been kind, friendly, just like he was with most of his clientele, but nothing had gone beyond their shy smiles and an awkward handshake.

It wasn’t until their third deal that he noticed it; the fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach, the growing tension between them. It became intoxicating, like a fix he couldn’t get with anyone else. An itch only she could scratch.

Truth be told, you didn’t even cross his mind during those deals. It was only afterwards, when he walked back to his van or into the school that he remembered he was supposed to meet you at your locker at the start of lunch, or that you had been waiting for him to take you home.

He’d never had anyone before you, and you had been his friend before you were his partner. You had always been comfortable, always constantly there for him, unwavering in your devotion.

And he loved you.

But with Chrissy, their spark was red hot and intense, new and exciting. She was a cheerleader for fucks sake. A cheerleader who was into him, the town freak.

The first time things went beyond their brash words and unfulfilled fantasies, he was in shock. Because Chrissy Cunningham was kissing him. Hot and needy, her lips trailing along his jaw and down his neck as he threw his head back and brushed his hands over her waist.

It wasn’t until he found you waiting for him in the parking lot chatting casually with Dustin that the guilt hit him. Your face lit up, just like it always did when you saw him, and your hands came to his chest—right where Chrissy’s had been just ten minutes before.

The fluttering in his stomach soured into a pool of regret, the feeling sticky and repulsive as he kissed you like nothing was wrong, like he hadn��t just betrayed you in the worst way possible.

He took you home that afternoon and you laid in his lap, your fingers toying with the ends of his hair absentmindedly, weaving through it in the way Chrissy did when they sat across from each other at the table in the woods.

The nauseating feeling had stayed with him all weekend, creeping into his mind at the worst moments.

By the time Monday rolled around, he could barely look at you.

He hastily pressed a kiss to your temple before racing off to his next class. He drowned out Mrs. Click’s words as he sat in the middle of the room, head resting on his hand, until the bell rang. He took his time packing up his books, and right before he finished, a note landed on his desk.

Chrissy didn’t look at him as she passed by him, pretending that she hadn’t even noticed him.

With a quick glance either side of him, he opened the note, met by her pretty handwriting in glossy pink pen.

Take me to my place after school? My parents aren’t home.

He ditched your plans that night for the first time.

The sneaking around was exhilarating.

It became all he could think about when he passed Chrissy in the halls, barely more than a split-second glance between them.

He got a sick sense of satisfaction whenever he saw Jason. The knowledge that he, Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, was sleeping with the jock’s pretty, perfect girlfriend was an amusement worth more than all the taunts he received from the basketball captain.

Eddie pretended not to notice the way that you drew back. He pretended not to notice the crestfallen expressions that morphed into doubtful looks when he cancelled yet another date or told you he couldn’t take you home.

He pretended not to notice. Until eventually, he didn’t.

He didn’t see you eying Chrissy with wary caution, disbelieving that he was capable of it. He didn’t see your teary eyes as you traversed the school corridors without him when usually you were joined at the hip.

He didn’t see that you were trying everything in your power to keep him looking at you, to keep him loving you, even when the self-doubt was threatening to swallow you whole.

The library was practically empty after school, most of the students escaping from Hawkins High as soon as the bell rang out.

Eddie was sat at the back of the library, waiting for you to return from the bathroom.

In truth, he didn’t know why he was even bothering to study. Math was math, and he wouldn’t ever need it after graduation anyway. But you had been persistent that he needed the practice to pass the exam in a week.

He fiddled with his pencil, tapping it to a song in his mind as he waited, his blank notebook staring back at him. His rhythm faltered, however, when he caught sight of Chrissy.

She appeared from between the shelves with feline grace, placing her palms on the edge of his table and leaning forward. “Are you going to the Halloween party?” she asked him, voice barely more than a whisper in the silent library.

Right, the Roland twins’ Halloween party next weekend. Robin had mentioned it to him two days ago and reminded him to tell you so that you would have time to organise your costume. He still hadn’t done that. “Yeah,” he replied, “I’m going.”

Her eyes lit up. “Great. I’m going, too.” She traced a finger over his rings and said before disappearing between the shelves again, “I’ll see you there.”

He only had ten seconds to recover from the sweet, sultry promise behind her words and then you were back, sliding into your seat across from him.

He blinked at you, and you furrowed your brows. “What?”

“Nothing. What were you saying about Pythagoras?”

Your eyes searched his face for a long moment, and Eddie kept it carefully blank. He prayed that you didn’t notice the flush to his cheeks.

Finally, you turned back to your textbook, explaining the formula for the fourth time.

“Did you catch Y/N the other day?” Steve asked barely audible over the music of the band on stage.

It was a Friday night, and they were sat opposite each other at The Hideout. It was rare that the two of them spent much time together by themselves anymore. Normally, there was at least one other person tagging along, whether it was Dustin or you, or Robin or Jonathan.

He hated to admit that Steve Harrington had gone from the popular jock he hated to one of his closest friends.

Eddie turned his attention from the band to Steve. “Huh?”

“Y/N,” he continued, “seemed pretty upset the other day when we drove home from school.”

Eddie frowned. He could tell by the way Steve twirled his bottle in his hands that he was trying to stay casual while still aiming to get something from him. Information about you it seemed. Eddie swigged a mouthful of beer, his attention caught between the band on stage and his friend. “What about?”

Steve appeared a touch surprised. “I don’t know. I thought you would know.”

He shook his head, only half interested in the conversation. “Does there always have to be something wrong?” Steve shot him an incredulous look, one that reeked of Are you serious? and Eddie averted his eyes to the tabletop.“I haven’t really been around for a few days. Between school and deals, I’ve been busy.”

He messed with the label on his beer, trying his best to appear calm and collected. There was no way that Steve or the others could know. He and Chrissy were careful, only meeting when they were sure no one else was around.

“Busy?” Steve arched a brow.

There was something about his tone that made Eddie pause. “Yeah. Busy.” He narrowed his eyes as Steve mumbled something beneath his breath that he couldn’t catch over the loud music. He wasn’t quite prickly, but there was a distinct implication that there was something wrong. “Problem, Harrington?”

Steve brought his beer to his mouth. “No. No problem.”

They stared at each other for a long moment until Eddie eventually backed down. He didn’t even know why he was getting defensive in the first place. This was Steve after all.

He turned his attention back to the band on stage, some middle-aged hard rock band that was just a tad out of time.

In doing so, he missed the set of Steve’s jaw as he studied him, the nonchalance towards your feelings setting off alarm bells in his head.

The random pop song Eddie didn’t care to name blaring from downstairs drowned out anything other than Chrissy’s breathless moans as he trailed kisses along her neck, guiding her to the bed they had found.

He didn’t even know whose room it was, and at this point, he didn’t care. All he cared about was the way she leaned into his touch, his rings tracing along the exposed skin of her waist.

She fell onto the bed, giggling as he grinned down at her. “I can’t believe we’re doing this here,” she whispered.

“Me either,” he laughed, crawling over her until his knees rested either side of her hips.

He knew that you were downstairs, sitting with Robin last time he checked. Chrissy leaned up and kissed him again, and any thought of you emptied from his mind. The only thing he cared about was the girl beneath him.

He reached down and gripped the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. Chrissy moaned as his lips moved further down her neck.

He opened his mouth to tease her about it when he heard voices coming towards the room. Voices that he recognised immediately.

“I’m telling you, man. The bathroom is somewhere up here,” Steve said.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just that most of the time you’re wrong,” Jonathan replied, and the door handle rattled.

Eddie didn’t have time to move before the door was pushed open, casting light from the hallway into the dim room, illuminating his compromising position.

There was a good few seconds where the whole world went quiet, nothing but his racing heartbeat pounding in his ears as the three of them stared at each other. He saw it though, the moment that Steve and Jonathan went from confusion, to disbelief, to pure and unadulterated rage.

He slid off the bed, trying to put as much distance between himself and his friends as his whole face burned. Suddenly, the euphoria of their ruse was nothing but embarrassment and shame. “Guys—”

Steve crossed the room in four giant strides.

Eddie shrunk back, and before he could say anything, he was pinned to the wall.

Jonathan slammed the door shut with little more than a glance down the hall, no doubt looking for you—to ensure that you weren’t there to witness this. His eyes flickered to Chrissy, and she curled into herself on the bed, trying her best to become invisible under his intense gaze.

Eddie’s attention was ripped from them when Steve pushed him harder into the wall. “Are you serious, Munson?” he spat, right into his face.

“I—I—uh—” he stuttered. He had nothing. His mind was blank. There was nothing he could say or do that would make this better.

Then, Steve was throwing a punch.

The pain blossomed across his cheekbone, sharp against his dulled senses. He wanted to fight back, but Steve hit him again, this time closer to his eye. It sent him tumbling onto the carpet.

“Jonathan?” Nancy called from the hall, and Jonathan ducked his head out, just enough that Eddie could see Nancy’s eyes darting from her boyfriend to Steve to Eddie to Chrissy. It didn’t take her long to piece it together. Eddie’s face heated even more.

Jonathan mumbled something to her and she nodded, taking one step back, her eyes locked on Eddie before she took off down the hall.

In the back of his mind, he was worried about her destination—which he knew was you—but he could only focus on Steve’s fist as it swung and cracked him on the bridge of his nose.

It started bleeding instantly, and he groaned.

Steve gripped him by the shirt, pulling him up until there were mere inches between them. “If you even think about coming near Y/N after this, I’ll kill you, Munson.” There was a lethal calm about him, one that made the hair on the back of Eddie’s neck stand on end. He had never seen this side of Steve. Not ever. And he didn’t know anyone who had.

His eyes darted to Jonathan, but he wore the same murderous look as Steve, same promise beneath his usually blank face. Upon seeing his eyes on him, Jonathan shook his head, and as if he was too disgusted to even keep looking at him, he left the room.

Steve shook him, bringing his attention back to him. “That’s a fucking promise.” He shoved him into the ground, hard enough to jolt something in his neck as the back of his head met the carpet. Steve looked over to Chrissy, who was shaking and clutching her discarded shirt to her chest.

Steve just scoffed, and Eddie could see the fear in her eyes. Not at what Steve might do to her, but what Steve might say—if he would tell Jason.

Then, Steve was gone, leaving them alone.

And Eddie could only look at the ground, where his blood dripped onto the carpet, sinking into the plush along with the tears that sprung from his eyes.

Chrissy’s house was a lot more intimidating on a random Monday afternoon than it ever was when he was with her. The tall white poles lining the walkway guided him to the front door.

She hadn’t spoken to him in two days. He hadn’t expected her to just show up at the trailer park or appear in the drama rooms during D&D, but he thought that she might have called him. To talk about what happened on the weekend. To talk about them.

He rallied up his courage and rapped his knuckles against the mahogany door before he could talk himself out of it.

He waited in silence, praying that her parents weren’t home. Chrissy hadn’t shared much about her home life, but she had told him that her mother was a piece of work, and her father wasn’t much better, which was one of the reasons that they only came to her place when no one else was home.

A car drove down the street behind him and he turned, watching as it pulled into the driveway next door.

The elderly woman stared at him from inside the car, hesitating in getting out. She feared him, that much was clear. He knew he looked the odd one out in the upscale neighbourhood; his ripped jeans and band shirt making him stick out like a sore thumb.

The door in front of him was pulled open, and he was met with Chrissy’s confused face. “Eddie?” she said, and then quickly glanced behind her. She stepped out of the house, closing the door enough to mute their conversation from whoever was inside. “What are you doing here?” Her tone was a lot more hostile than he was expecting.

“What do you mean what am I—I’m here to talk about us,” he explained. “You were avoiding me today, so—”

“There is no ‘us’, Eddie,” she uttered, voice hushed.

He froze. “W-What?”

She looked back into the house, shutting the door an inch more. “You…You’re nice, but I’m with Jason.”

“Wait,” he managed, shaking his head as he tried to wrap his brain around what she was saying. “He doesn’t know?”

“No, of course not,” she replied, like he was stupid for even suggesting it.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “So, so what? You don’t—”

“Chrissy?” came a female voice from behind her.

The girl, who he recognised vaguely as the co-cheer captain, appeared from the hall, peeking through the gap Chrissy had left. She pulled the door open enough that Eddie could see the sneer on her face. “What the hell is the freak doing here?” she said, like he couldn’t hear her. Like he wasn’t a person who deserved any kind of respect at all.

Chrissy gave him an exaggerated once over. Gone was the soft tone that she was using with him, and in its place was Chrissy Cunningham, Queen of Hawkins High. “I honestly don’t know. It’s getting weird and creepy. How do you even know where I live?”

He could hear his own heart splinter inside his chest.

“Do you want me to call Jason?” her friend asked, eying him up and down like he was deranged.

He started backing away before he heard her answer.

He spun around, catching sight of the woman in the car, who had stepped out and was shooting accusatory looks in his direction, obviously under the belief that he was somehow in the wrong, that he was accosting two teenage girls in their home.

He could scarcely breathe as he clambered into his van, fumbling with the keys as he tried to start it. Once he did, he tore out of the street without a glance back at Chrissy’s house.

She didn’t want him.

His head swam as he drove through Hawkins with barely more than that one thought tumbling around his mind on repeat.

He had…he had ruined his relationship for someone who didn’t even want him.

As he thought about you, his chest squeezed, and the only place he wanted to be was with you.

On a whim, he took a hard left and circled back towards your house. Steve and Jonathan be damned. He could fix this. He would fix this.

There was no other option. He needed to fix this.

He needed you.

But as he approached your house, Nancy’s car was in the driveway. Nancy herself was scary enough, but if Jonathan was with her?

He pulled up opposite your house, looking up at the window to your bedroom. The window that he used to climb through when he missed you too much to even be apart while he was sleeping. The window he climbed through when you called him in tears about a fight with your parents.

His heart clenched even more at the thought of you inside. At how devastated you would be. At how badly he fucked up. The image of you curled up in your bed, tears coursing from your eyes sprung into his mind before he could stop it.

Once, he would have held you while you cried, brushing your tears away with his thumbs as he placed kisses to your swollen cheeks.

Now, he was the cause of them.

The feeling became too much, the guilt and shame and helplessness swimming around him in a dance of soul-searing regret that he couldn’t escape from.

Through blurry eyes, he drove off, just missing side-scraping the car parked in front of him.

When he reached the stop sign at the end of the street, he pulled up and released the hold he had on himself.

He cried, winding his hands into his hair and pulling in exasperation. The pain burst from his scalp, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about the tears that were hot on his cheeks. “Fuck!” he screamed to himself, and pounded the steering wheel with his fists.

He misjudged his right hand and hit the dash, causing something to fall to the floor with the familiar sound of plastic hitting the metal sheeting.

Through teary eyes, he picked it up. It was a cassette that you bought him a little over three months ago. Not even for his birthday or for Christmas, just because you were walking through the store and saw it and thought he might like it.

You were just like that.

You loved him enough to think about him in the tiniest little ways. You went out of your way to make him happy, even before you thought of yourself.

He sniffled as he put the tape into the player.

You loved him with everything you had.

And all he had given you in return was heartbreak and deceit.

Eddie barely made it inside before he collapsed on his couch, clutching at his side where he knew bruises would be already forming.

Lately, he had resorted to eating lunch by himself in the drama rooms.

When Gareth, Jeff, Angus, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin had found out about what he’d done, they made their thoughts clear. There had been an incident in the cafeteria involving you and Chrissy, one that his friends had all been witness to.

They found him that afternoon as he was setting up for their weekly meeting.

They didn’t care that he was their DM. They had handed over their shirts with barely more than a ‘Have fun finding a new party, asshole’. It turned out that the loyalty meant nothing in the face of his actions.

He was an outcast amongst the outcasts.

That incident also led to Jason finding out. Today, he found him in the drama rooms at lunch, Chrissy hot on his tail as she spouted excuses and pleas for him to listen to her.

He hadn’t. And Eddie had copped the full force of his fury. He deserved it, but he thought that maybe Chrissy would have cared about him enough to tell him to stop. But she just cried for herself, begging Jason to forgive her while he continued his assault.

That was the thought that stayed with him as he limped to his van, and then the whole drive home.

She didn’t care.

She never had. It was the reason that they snuck around, meeting up only on her terms, when she wanted. He squeezed his eyes shut as he thought about you. About how you never cared about his reputation. You always wanted to be with him. You wanted to hold his hand in the halls and sit with him at lunch.

You had cared.

A door down the hall opened up, and Eddie was surprised to see Wayne still getting ready for work.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” he asked, watching Wayne take out his lunchbox from the fridge.

“I’m on late starts this week,” his uncle replied, grabbing a cap from the counter. He looked over at Eddie for the first time and blinked as he took in his crumpled shirt and bruised face. “The hell happened to you, boy?”

“Nothing. Just a kid at school,” he mumbled. There was no point in going into it in any more detail. Wayne was silent for long enough that Eddie looked back to him.

“Where was Y/N?”

Eddie started. “What?”

“The whole time you two’ve been together, you ain’t never come home like that. So, what happened?”

Eddie opened his mouth but paused. The whole time you and Eddie had been together, you had kept him out of trouble. You had used what little social credit you had to ensure that he was left alone, mostly to your own detriment. The familiar feeling of anguish rose from the pit of his stomach.

He swallowed harshly. “We, uh, we split up.” Not a complete lie, but he couldn’t bear the thought of the disappointment on Wayne’s face at the disgrace.

Wayne was quiet again, the heater the only sound ringing out through the trailer.

“Kept you out of trouble, that one,” Wayne said finally, and he pursed his lips. “Shame.”

Wayne was reserved on his best days, but Eddie could tell that he wanted to know more. “Yeah,” he muttered, biting his lip hard enough to dull the stinging behind his eyes.

It was a shame.

Before he could even open the door to Family Video, Robin was pissed.

She paused from where she was sorting tapes behind the counter, her gaze cold as he entered the store.

“Hey,” he greeted.

She gave him a once over, and he knew she caught everything. His pale face, the bags under his eyes, the bruises that had faded to a yellowy-green around the scabs. “What do you want, Munson?”

There it was. The use of his last name. He wanted to cry. None of his friends had ever called him by it before. It was always Eddie, or Ed, or Edward when he was being an ass. Never Munson.

It caused his father to flash behind his eyes. The man he hated. The man who he swore he would never be like. But he had done the exact thing to you that his piece of shit father did to his mother.

A lump rose in his throat at the comparison.

“I—uh—” he started. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was there. To see Robin. To talk to her about you.

He had hoped that his friends would have warmed up a little in the weeks since the Halloween party. There had been radio silence from Steve. No offers to meet up for beers at The Hideout. No phone calls.

From Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan, he received the same cold shoulder whenever he passed them in the halls or sat next to them in class. Jonathan had even gone as far as to shove him with his shoulder hard enough to make him stumbled in the middle of the corridor.

And there had been absolutely no sight of you.

He didn’t know if that was on purpose, or if he was just noticing the lack of you everywhere he went.

He hoped that Robin would shed some light on the situation. That maybe she would tell you how you had been and when he could see you. He hoped that maybe she would help him.

Shaking his head, his eyes darted around at the tapes on the shelves. “I’m here for…a video,” he finished lamely.

She rolled her eyes. “Then pick one and get out.” She turned back to the tapes in front of her, sorting them by what looked like genre. When he didn’t move, she collected the tapes in her arms and started towards the back room.

“Robin, wait—”

“Don’t even try,” she said, her voice ice cold. “I’m not interested in hearing your pathetic little sob story.” And then she disappeared out the back.

A very obvious Get the fuck out.

Walking down the main street brought him nothing but the memory of you punching him in the face two months ago.

He had avoided going anywhere for months. He stayed holed up in his trailer when he wasn’t at school, avoiding the disappointed gaze of his uncle.

Wayne had been vocal in just how much Eddie had let him down and disgusted him with what he’d done to you. Not only had he cheated on you, but he had lied to him.

Both of those things were unforgivable in Wayne’s eyes. And Eddie had never seen him more disappointed in him ever.

“I raised you better than this, boy,” Wayne grumbled into Eddie’s face. “You’re no better than your daddy when you do something like this.”

That hurt more than anything else.

He knew it already, but hearing someone else say it. That was worse.

Shaking the thought from his head before it enticed the familiar sting behind his eyes, he focused on counting his steps to the music store. Back before everything, he was a regular there, frequenting the store once or twice a week for supplies for his gigs or books for his new songs.

He hadn’t been in months.

Hellfire wasn’t the only thing that Gareth, Jeff, and Angus quit. Corroded Coffin was now nothing more than him and his guitar. And because of that, he lost their Tuesday spot at The Hideout.

And his songwriting had dwindled down to nothing but him plucking the strings alone in the quiet of his room. You used to spend those hours with him, sitting on his bed as he played chord after chord, trying to work out which combination was best for the lyrics he had written.

And you had never complained. Because you enjoyed spending time with him even when you weren’t doing anything.

As he approached the store, he pushed open the door right as the door to the diner across the street opened. His throat squeezed when he saw it was you. He hurriedly stepped into the store, staring at you from behind the glass.

You were laughing.

Laughing at something Steve said to you. His hand grazed the small of your back as you both exited the diner and he guided you to his red BMW.

Eddie wasn’t sure how he missed it parked in the middle of the street.

You looked happy. Happier than you had been in the weeks leading up to the Halloween party. It hurt Eddie more than he could say that he couldn’t remember that last time he made you smile or laugh like that.

Steve opened the passenger door for you, and you rolled your eyes playfully at the smirk he was giving you.

Seeing you now, carefree and gleeful and beaming caused the loneliness to press in around him. The loneliness from you being gone. The loneliness of his friends casting him out.

He stood still, watching like a fucking creep as Steve jogged around and slid into the driver’s seat, eyes not leaving you until the car turned off the main street.

Resting his forehead on the cold glass of the door, he screwed his eyes closed.

He had no one to blame but himself. It had been all him. Only him who chose to betray you.

Now, he would watch you from a distance. While you were freer than you had ever been, his doomsday would be never ending, a constant suffering that shackled him to his agony.

And it was all his fault.

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