erikakilee-blog

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dulcet

(adjective) In the list of the 100 most beautiful words in the English language, dulcet is all about its sugary, sweet concoction.

pleasant to the ear; melodious: the dulcet tones of the cello.<br />

pleasant or agreeable to the eye or the feelings; soothing.<br />

Archaic. sweet to the taste or smell.

(via wordsnquotes)

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https://www.instagram.com/pbuddhaproject/

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I had to take a moment to let this statement marinate. I have lived life in a make believe bubble for the longest time all because of these words.

I am a 32 year old, single mother who has made the same mistake about 100 times which ultimately turned into a simple bad choice repeated over and over. I made those mistakes by seeing what I wanted. Then, I was slapped in the face by the grace of my Higher Power and my Universe. It was though they were screaming, “What is it going to take to wake you up? More heartbreak? Fear? Wake up!!!!!” Neither one of them stopped until I started making big decisions.

When I say big, I mean big. I left a relationship. I left abuse. I left a toxic place for myself, son and them. It hurt. I asked myself over and over what is wrong with you? My answer: You. You are what’s wrong. You have no love for yourself. You don’t respect yourself. You have a son who has seen his mommy, his safety, his world, get hit and thrown and…well, inexcusable. All of it. You are the problem. Harsh, I know. Neccesary? Absolutely. Then the Universe and God stepped in and they gave me grace. They gave me strength to look at things I have never looked at that were horrible character defects.

God, by the grace of God. He opened up door after door to save us, to show me His grace. He still brings people into my life just at the right moment to show me what I need to see. I wouldn’t have evolved into this person without all the choices I made but more importantly without grace.

I see this statement now as what God wants me to see, what the Universe is showing me. Little by little, with a fantastic therapist my son and I have chipped away a layer at a time. I have been able to accomplish things I have been dying to take care of for years. To work again, to send money to my daughter, to work on getting my amazing first born back in my arms, restore relationships, learn how to be a friend a true friend, learn how to model self-love to my son and so much more. I didn’t think a year ago leaving would be possible. Now look at our life. We are growing. Like a flower. Tackling one demon after another. How dare I cheat myself and my son out of any more happiness.

Isn’t Gods grace amazing?

#grace #perception #myjourney #raw

[erikakilee-blog]

Sunday morning, coffee in hand! I believe I ask myself this question at least 10 times a day, if not more.

I can say this… Looking in the mirror was the hardest thing I had to do and continue to do. Having to identify the traits I would like to change is far from glamorous but extremely necessary. After all, change starts from within, they say.

I became an ugly person. One who lost sight of all things small and beautiful which defined me in life. I stopped smelling the flowers, laughing, being silly and so much more. It wasn’t until I had an awakening and still am transitioning through it that I realized I have always changed according to my surroundings or who I was with. Not fair, I know. I cheated myself and them out of my own beauty. I let people fall in love with who I thought they wanted me to be. A complete injustice.

I have never been comfortable in my own skin. Constantly afraid that no one will love me for my true self. Now, I am learning to be who I am with no apologies and of course, with complete trust that the Universe will bring those who are meant to stay in my alignment.

Learning to love me has been hard and gratifying. I can’t wait for the day I am evolved into a confident woman with no apologies and amazing people in my tribe who appreciate themselves and who I am.

✌🔮

#whoareyou #firstblog #selflove #myjourney

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We added these 5 beauties to our collection! How rejuvenating! #plants