erroneous-voltron-quotes - Tumblr blog

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Lotor, fighting the Paladins: Haha! Eat it, dipshits!

Shiro: LOTOR! This is a kid's show, no cussing!!!

Lotor: Oh yeah.

Lotor:

Lotor: BITCH!

Shiro: that's worse.

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Zarkon: Do you remember the fun we had when you poisoned me?

Honerva: Something you ate, the doctor said.

Zarkon: Ah, yes...arsenic on the rocks.

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Keith, losing an argument: Well, fuck you!

Lance: I mean, you can if you want to...

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Hunk: I got hit in the head so I'm gonna take a break.

Lance: Bro what hit you?

Hunk: Cupid's arrow bro...

Lance: Bro...

Hunk: I'm joking bro

Hunk: It was an umbrella

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Keith: What if I don't wanna fuck him?

Keith: Maybe I just wanna sleep with him.

Keith: WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

Allura: 👀

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Shiro: Anyways, where was I?

Lance: Sex.

Shiro: NO -

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Keith: So Lance kissed me.

Pidge: No!

Hunk: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!

Keith: It's unbelievable.

Hunk: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!

Pidge: Okay, alright, we wanna hear everything. Hunk, get the teapot and shut the alarm off. Keith, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Keith: Oh, this ends VERY well.

Hunk, running back with tea: Do not start without me! DO NOT START WITHOUT ME!!

Pidge: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like...a soft brush against your lips, or was it like...a "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?

Keith: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know? And then...oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it.

Pidge: Oh, okay! So was he, like, holding you, or were his hands, like, on your back?

Keith: Nah actually, first they started out on my waist, and then they slid up and they were in my hair...

Pidge & Hunk: Ooh...

*meanwhile*

Lance: ...and then I kissed him.

Shiro: Tongue?

Lance: Yeah.

Shiro: Cool.

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Shiro: I'm not like a regular dad. I'm a cool dad! Right, Keith?

Keith: Please stop talking.

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Shiro: With great boredom comes great responsibility.

Curtis: Please tell me you're not on the roof again.

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Hunk: *tries to create a sense of calm by lighting incense*

Pidge: Hunk...why did you just light sparklers?

Hunk, as the sparks leap to his curtains and catch fire: This is actually painfully on-brand for me.

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Pidge: Can we get some food? Lance gets cranky when we run out.

Lance: Cranky?

Pidge: I was being nice - you're a whiny bitch.

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Keith, rehearsing in the mirror: Just tell him the truth. "You're gay."

Keith, walking up to Shiro: Hey, Shiro?

Shiro: Yeah?

Keith: You're gay!

Shiro, internally: ...I know???

Keith, internally: what the fuck

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Hunk: I don't wanna go to the post-apocalyptic future! It's scary, like Ratatouille!

Pidge: ...what?

Hunk: I don't want to have rats living in my hat and pulling my hair to get me to do stuff!!

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Lance: Are you on drugs?!

Keith: A little ecstasy, a little cocaine...oh my god, you smell amazing!

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Allura: What’s an orgasm?

Shiro: WHERE DID YOU HEAR TH-

Lance: It’s when you fold paper to look like birds and shit!

Pidge: That’s OREGANO, idiot.

Shiro: stOP!!!

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Keith: Handcuffs fucking HURT.

Lance: Use silk rope next time!

Keith: ...I don’t think I can convince a police officer to use silk rope.

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Keith: You’re mad at me.

Shiro: I’m not mad, just disappointed.

Keith: Oh c’mon! Everybody knows that’s WORSE!!