escobar-season - Tumblr blog

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unironically love the phrase “but I’m being so brave about it” because truly, like, what other choice do we have in this wretched existence? what a beautiful way to remind yourself to keep going, even if only out of spite

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Google search history: “How to tell my mom in a loving way that she needs therapy”

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Hi, I’m Julia Morris.

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We all gonna watch Crazy Rich Asians👏 ALL 👏OF👏 US👏. We gonna hype it the fuck up like we did for Black Panther Wonder Woman Love Simon. Representation matters. See you August 17.

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My class pretended to play dead.

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my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

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Reblog if u cannot wait to start middle school and get away from all the drama lies and tears from elementary school <|3

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me: god i love paranormal shit and urban legends

me, after indulging in aforementioned content:

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Photography by Strong Arm ~  Sunsets/Flora/City All mobile photography/edits OAHU born. SEA raised. LA based. Proud Member: @sky_marvels @fotocatchers @kill3rtones

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Me at my second Rodeo

Me: This ain't my first Rodeo

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i love laying the FUCK down and sleeping

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me: logs into gmail from a different computer

my phone, having a nervous breakdown: if you don’t confirm your identity in the next ten seconds i’m gonna shoot your whole family and then myself

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Oslo, Norway - March 21. 📸: Hélène Pambrun.

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Warsaw - Łazienki Palace