escxpiism

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papcrplancs​:

Allison’s eyes remained downward, watching the water move as best as she could through the obscured line of sight. It was the only thing keeping her grounded. If she were to look up, the world would start to spin, and Allison wasn’t sure she could make a quick get away if she needed to with that. She took in a shaky breath, fighting off tears and a guilty conscious all at the same time. 

Her Father had told her not to feel guilty– that Alice was being dramatic, and she shouldn’t give up such an opportunity to spare her Sister’s feelings. But, there was no way around knowing that a part of her greed for success had pushed them to this point. Had Allison accepted any other job, they could have remained blissfully distant. Sending and ignoring one word text messages. Never telling their children about that strange Aunt that only appears in old family photos. Never crossing paths until the talk of inheritance money was brought to the table. But, Allison had brought this upon them out of a need for a success she knew she really couldn’t reach. 

Allison huffed out that same breath, praying the shake of emotion was not audible. “You can’t? Or you won’t?” Allison thought it was a fair question. The same thing had happened at the Gala only a few weeks ago. She tried to get the distance that she wanted, and Alice had pulled her back in. ‘you don’t need me to.’ If Allison could have brought herself to laugh, she would have. “Yes, I do Alice. Or at least I think I do, or I wouldn’t be sitting here right now, trying to force one out of you.” She shook her head, finally looking up from the wooden boards, staring straight across the horizon. “If you won’t do it, then I need you to tell me why.”

everything she would give for it to just stop. for everything to stop. to either end, or to rewind. if she could rewind that near-decade, knowing what she knew now, then everything could stop before it could start. she would rather be her parents’ puppet. but, most of all, if there could simply be a time without her. so many times. so close. but the fact remained that she was there, time would march forth, she was even more unsuccessful in death than life, and she would never have the capability she wished she could still have around her sisters. the capability to try to mend, try to heal -- they would always be strangers. and there was nothing she could do about it now. 

and she wanted to go back to sleep. if she could do that, then she could pretend this wasn’t happening again. if she could do that, then she could pretend that what had initially just been a harshed vibe hadn’t turned into what could be an ending. but not to anything she wished would end -- most things she wished would end already had ( save for the simpsons -- it should’ve ended after the eleventh season ). and, for as surprised as she should’ve been with their lack of communication and the reminders that surfaced when allie was around, the concept of their relationship forever ending itself did terrify her. she’d burned bridges, sure, but they’d been to her own accord. this wasn’t only something entirely new, but a bridge she didn’t wish to burn. one she didn’t think ever would have. yes, she wanted to go back to sleep.

eyes still closed, as if sleep would come to her as she discussed the topic with allie, all she could do was shake her head. “ i don’t think you get it, ” then, with a sigh, added, “ because i don’t even get it. ” she couldn’t. it wasn’t an act of stubbornness or pride; it was an act of desperation. that sixteen-year-old who wished she could be friends with her sisters, who wished they were more like full house, was still hidden within her. between that and the overwhelming guilt over her exposing, it was undeniable. “ because i am so me. ” and that ‘me’ would always include her younger self. then, finally opening her eyes, she concluded, “ if you want me out of your life, then... that’s your call. i don’t wanna make you unhappy, but... i can’t say it. ”

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hecrtfelt​:

closed starter for @escxpiism​

griffin  had  seen  a  lot  of  odd  things  at  the  fair  so  far  –  a  clown  on  stilts,  a  weiner  dog  race  happening  in  some  weird  part  of  the  grounds,  and  deep-fried  donut  bacon  cheeseburgers  –  but  nothing  was  quite  as  unexpected  as  seeing  alice  from  work  on  the  bench  like  that.  griffin  paused  in  his  walk,  eventually  and  hesitantly  approaching  his  coworker  as  he  looked  down  at  her,  a  mixture  of  amusement  and  confusion  coating  his  features.  “  …want  me  to  buy  you  a  water  ?  ”

when she got to the carnival and made the discovery that joey and all of her coworkers shared one single braincell, how she dreaded it ! but, since finding her very own forrest gump bench and taking that pink pill, she had, as the kids say, just been vibing. no real thoughts or concerns regarding the future that she could muster up when she was half-asleep half the time ( asleep for one quarter, and alert but still vibing for the final quarter ). “ griffn, ” she acknowledged the voice, stirring to...a potential for semi-alert. yes, a coworker and... something else very noteworthy... eh, she’d remember it soon if it mattered all that much ! “ do you... want your coffeemaker back ? ”

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hecrtfelt​:

nan’s phone was dead, a direct product of draining her battery through constant phone calls and tear-streaked texts to allison, naeun, and soraya. she’d been avoiding the groupchat so much that it hadn’t been a contributor to her now dead phone, but she couldn’t help but wonder, as she stood uncomfortably on the boardwalk while her phone struggled to charge in a nearby port, what people were saying about her. God, as soon as she had power again, she was going to call a lyft and go home and maybe cry for the entire time it takes to complete an i love lucy rewatch.  she looked up when she heard a voice, form tensing up as she recognized this person to be a coworker. “ i don’t even see how that would work, ” nan murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and looking away. “ how would mermaids participate in a parade ? ”

the exposings were nothing short of cruel -- at least, as jack saw it, the ones so far had been. from the explanations given, in addition to the testimonies of other co-workers ( and simple common sense ), every single person was either in the right ( in a way that could be taken as the wrong ) or had made a stupid mistake ( emphasis on ‘stupid’ -- no malicious intentions ). he found nan to fall into the latter category. she didn’t check a jet, someone else took the fall for her -- she posed no threat to rolfe masters. he was simply paranoid. but could she probably still use a few more friends than acquaintances or foes ? that was their assumption. they smiled at her question and, with a light chuckle, explained, “ no, it’s just nautical themed. of course, if i recall correctly, there are many participants who dress as mermaids... scantily-clad mermaids, but mermaids, nonetheless. ” every straight and bi man’s dream. “ queen latifah was part of it some years ago. ”

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papcrplancs​:

“Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?” It was almost a serious question. Allison did have to wonder if Alice ever thought things all the way through before she just spoke them out loud, because in most conversations they shared, it was hard to say. “Alright. Well, great, I guess.” Allison still wasn’t happy with the fact that Alice had just fallen off the face of the earth for an undetermined amount of time, but there was no use in continuing the conversation– not that Allison would ever hear the end of her atrocity in lack of communication.

“Getting there!” Alice surely had an idea in her head that Allison despised everything about her, but she didn’t. Much to Allison’s chagrin, there were many things about Alice that she admired. So, no, the problem wasn’t that she hated Alice. It was that she loved her– even if she didn’t always like her. But, loving Alice was exhausting. When it came to their relationship, there was no other choice than to torture herself with the roundabout of fight, pretend to make up, and repeat. That, somehow, was worse than not being in Alice’s life at all. So, here was the opportunity to break that cycle, and it was still so hard even though it was what she wanted. Allison found herself staring back down at the boardwalk, praying for the gaps in the boards to widen and swallow her whole. But, she had started this fight, and she needed to finish it. “I can’t do this, Alice. I can’t only get along with you when you’re high, and spend the rest of the time fighting. I can’t worry myself sick over someone who doesn’t care whether they live or die. So give me an out.”

“ have you tried taking care of a turtle ? ” it seemed that the alice of the moment would die on the hill of taking care of turtles being just as hard, if not harder, than telling someone a loved ( ? ) one just died. it was damn hard work ! and extremely impressive that joey had pulled it off ! maybe even better than her ! “ mhm. ” there they were ! the partial fact was out there, alice and allie both understood it, and they both had so little to say regarding something that could’ve been important ! very adams of them !

life was so very funny. and so very cruel. had allie never taken this job, alice never would have had a reason to talk to her more again; had allie never taken this job, alice never would have told her everything; had allie never taken this job, alice’s precious ‘secret’ could remain that amongst the family; had allie never taken this job, alice never would have texted her; had allie never taken this job, she would have no reason to ask for an out. their relationship before masters was close to nonexistent, but just there enough for alice to still know that there was an unspoken degree of care -- understanding -- even when they didn’t understand each other at all. masters really had been the big bad behind it all, hadn’t it been ?

“ i can’t. ” not like that. she closed her eyes, the only way to block everything and bring any real thoughts to the forefront of her mind. “ if you want an out... ” she had no clue how to finish the thought. she didn’t want to give her an out -- she didn’t want to be completely out of her life. that had never been the goal. as little as possible ? yes. entirely ? she already would’ve blocked her. and the worst part of it was that she knew it was the right thing to do -- to offer allie an out. to give her a reason to block her, avoid her, never speak to her. to give her a way to ensure she wouldn’t have to worry about her -- not actively ( because her texts wouldn’t go through, of course ). but, christ, being completely estranged... not just only communicating when absolutely necessary, or perhaps sending a ‘happy birthday’ text, but to be completely out of each other’s lives -- was that what allie wanted ? “ i just... i can’t give it to you, i’m sorry. ” clenching her jaw, she added, “ but... you don’t need me to. ”

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damn girl im really sad but check this out *pinches my nose and it makes a honk noise*

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papcrplancs​:

“Pet sitting, and dealing with death are two incredibly different things. You can’t seriously pretend they aren’t.” It wasn’t a matter of could, in Allison’s mind. Joey was perfectly capable. He had certainly gotten this far in life somehow. It was a matter of whether or not he should be expected to handle it. Did it make her feel better to know that no one knew where Alice was for several days? Except for possibly Joey. “I’m honestly not sure how that makes me feel if I’m being honest.” In a way, she had wished Alice would’ve talked to anyone if she wouldn’t talk to her. 

Allison clenched her jaw at the question, because it was a good question. And, if she was being honest with herself, it was a selfish, manipulative reason she needed this answer. Maybe, just maybe, being outright would be easier than beating around the bush herself. “Because, I know you don’t like me.” Allison let it sit there for a minute, and while it felt bitter, it sounded matter-of-fact. Whether or not Alice believed it hardly mattered to Allison anymore, because that was the reality she had created. She glanced down at the wooden boardwalk, dragging her shoe across the rough edges of the wood. “And I need you to tell me that, because I can’t keep pretending that we’ll ever be something we’re not. It’ll just be easier if you tell me in plain English that you don’t like me.” She took a moment, trying to steel herself before looking back at Alice. “So, tell me what you think of me.”  

“ honestly, telling someone someone died seems just about as easy as taking care of a turtle. ” ...maybe not emotionally -- definitely not emotionally -- but a few words were easier than... however long joey’d been left taking care of doc. she was pretty sure it’d only been a weekend... but a week was possible... it had been like joint custody during the week. because how did she deal with getting exposed ? she pulled a disappearing act. “ well, that’s how it went. ” again, she had a feeling referring to the dealers wouldn’t exactly make allie feel better. at all. but she’d upgraded !

her sister’s explanation was a genuinely shocking one. for a moment, it left her damn near speechless... partially because she had to wonder if what allie said was true. were they even capable of liking each other at this point ? they didn’t know each other. the likelihood that they ever would was slim at best. and that floating feeling was fading too damn fast for her liking. “ alright, y’know what, i’ll play: i think you want me to say i don’t like you so you can feel better about not liking me and then you can cut contact with me and have a valid reason -- because i said that i don’t like you and that was the final straw. ” perhaps there were parts of the sentiment that carried a sense if manipulation, but she was too damn confused with a growing agitation to even consider it. and the fact was in there, wasn’t it ? “ so how about now ? ” she hated this. she fucking hated this. she’d just been vibing, and then... “ am i getting closer now ? ” ...and then she was coming to the realization that her sister didn’t ever want to talk to her again. and right in front of her salad after the concern expressed !

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papcrplancs​:

“Are you really expecting Joey to, not only deal with your death, but find me and tell me?” Allison questioned. Joey was a wonderful friend, and a kind soul. But for Alice to expect him to appropriately deal with the trauma of losing a friend, and notifying next of kin, she was kidding herself. Allison crossed her arms over her chest. “That doesn’t make it better. All I’m saying is if you plan on texting me cryptic messages that make it seem like you’re planning on killing yourself, text me a couple days afterwards.”

“If you think for a second I haven’t been told every single one of my flaws before, you’re kidding yourself.” Allison had grown up, hearing more about what she had done wrong, than what she had done right. She was no stranger to criticism. “I’m not as stupid as you seem to think, either. I know our family behind closed doors is not the picture perfect Georgian family.” She huffed, knowing that Alice was still dodging. “But, I don’t care about what you think about how other people perceive me. That wasn’t the question. I want to know what you think.” Allison would not relent, either. This was not an optional question for Alice. Before she left that bench, Allison would know what her Sister thought– whatever that would be, the knowing would be so much better than guessing games. All Allison could do was keep pushing. Eventually, her Sister would snap.

“ he took care of my turtle for, like... an entire weekend by himself. way more competent than you’re giving him credit for. ” turtles were high maintenance ! if he could keep the doc well and good over the week and weekend ( to such a point that she wrote him in as the doc’s proper owner should she die on what she would begin to refer to as her ‘death napkin’ ) that she’d been partially awol for, he could notify her next of kin. sighing, she replied, “ if it makes you feel any better, you were the last person i texted. ” next to some plugs, but allie didn’t have to know about that. 

as she kept prodding alice, all she found herself doing was shifting her eyes to her, then to the boardwalk, then back to her. why allie suddenly wanted to know what alice thought about her so bad, she wasn’t sure. in any case, what words were there to put to her thoughts on her sister ? “ why do you wanna know what i think about you so bad ? ” in any case, as alice saw it -- in her clearer moments -- allie wasn’t even the larger problem. it was their environment. their toxic family as a whole. herself. because wasn’t she just so her ? “ you barely know me, i barely know you. why does my opinion suddenly matter ? ” it was a genuine question accompanying a genuine observation. they were different around each other than they were in their everyday lives ( or so alice supposed, what given her own case ), they hadn’t known each other as kids -- even if there’d been a time that alice had tried... their real selves were strangers.

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bndz​:

⠀     ⠀ ⠀ 𝐈𝐓  𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐓  𝐎𝐃𝐃  to  adri  that  she  hadn’t  spoken  to  alice  since  the  whole  rumor  was  thrown  into  the  company  group  chat  .  sure  ,  they  weren’t  combined  at  the  hip  ,  but  she  was  her  best  friend  after  all  .  which  why  she  didn’t  want  to  bring  up  what  was  going  on  .  in  fact  ,  that  was  the  past  .  left  in  the  dust  even  .  they  were  on  coney  island  to  have  fun  ,  not  dwell  on  someone  playing  a  sick  joke  on  the  office  out  of  pure  boredom  .  it  was  so  exhausting  .  if  only  she  could  figure  out  how  to  mute  the  chat  to  rid  of  even seeing  what  was  going  on  .  nonetheless  ,  she  shook  her  head  like  some  kind  of  puppy  as  her  friend  parroted  her  question  back  to  her  .  “  oh  ,  yeah  !  i’m  fine  !  nothing  a  little  cotton  candy  can’t  fix  !  although  ,  i  plan  on  winning  something  before  i  stuff  my  face  !  i  have  to  win  something  !  ”  adri  would  never  admit  that  she  was  a  little  competitive  ,  but  the  gaze  that  was  fixated  on  the  games  behind  her  friend  said  otherwise  .

  “  oh  ,  yeah  !  it  is  !  ”  she  quickly  answered  when  their  job  was  brought  up  .  “  you  know  what’s  awesome  ?  i  think  i’m  not  gonna  be  an  intern  anymore  !  although  it  was  fun  &  i  now  have  a  super  long  list  of  cool  coffee  orders  to  try  on  my  off  time  ,  i’m  excited  !  assistant  adri  sounds  so  good  ,  right  ?  double  a’s  like  you  !  ”  adri  grinned  ,  switching  the  subject  without  even  knowing  .  she  talked  way  too  much  for  her  own  good  .  “  well  ,  i’m  glad  i  ran  into  you  &  you’re  okay  !  i  would  be  so  sad  if  something  happened  to  you  all  because  of  those  stupid  lies  !  but  enough  about  that  !  let’s  go  win  something  !  i’m  gonna  win  you  a  plushie  to  make  up  for  lost  time  .  my  arm  has  gotten  better  &  i  def’  can  toss  some  baskets  !  to  the  basketballs  !  ”  adri  shouted  ,  locking  arms  with  alice  &  tugging  her  towards  the  game  .  although  she  was  dying  to  try  her  luck  at  the  game  to  win  the  fish  ,  she  couldn’t  put  herself  through  that  pain  if  she  lost  .  no  matter  how  much  she  wanted  to  .

with a slight laugh at her own self, alice, once again, advised, “ just don’t try for the fish. y’might win a human, but... ” and she’d been so close... so few times ! clearly if she couldn’t win a fish with her immaculate aim, no one would be able to. it had nothing to do with the drugs and everything to do with the game being rigged. by, like... rigging the wind. and how ageist they were ! a bunch of kids were winning fish, but the second she, a partial adult, tried her hand at it ? they rigged the goddamn wind. 

she nodded at adri’s confirmation that masters had, indeed, not collapsed since she’d last stepped foot inside ( to do her job, that is ). but when the other lit up ( not that she didn’t seem to be constantly lightened up ), alice raised her eyebrows, preparing herself for whatever news she may receive on the adri front... and what great news it was ! the perfect news to shove everything adri refused to believe behind her, if even only for a minute. “ that’s fucking awesome, adri ! ” she replied with a single, but quite emphatic, hand clap. did adri know it was actually three As ? because they thought they were the kardashians long before the kardashians got famous ? that was beside the point ! “ we’re gonna have to celebrate, like... properly sometime. ” because plushies and carnival games were great, but they were no alcohol and sex. oh, then she had to bring up the concept of them being lies again ! was it worth correcting her at that moment ? “ i mean, ‘lie’’s a pretty strong word for it. ” ... apparently kind of ! “ y’know, i was a good shot, but never really nailed basketball. gonna officially, like, admire you if you win a carnival basketball game, ” she remarked as she began trailing behind the other, unsure of exactly where this carnival game was.

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papcrplancs​:

“Yes!” Allison tried to bring her voice down from a shout, because there was no good reason to start a screaming match in the middle of all of these people. “You were texting me on Sunday night. It is Friday. How was I supposed to know where you were from the time you got to where you were going to right now?” The fact that Alice thought for a second anyone would have the forethought to tell Allison anything was laughable. “It’s not like our family has a good track record with telling me when things happen. Sorry if I didn’t want to figure out if something happened to you through the news again.”  Allison let silence hang between them for a long moment, processing everything. Not just this fight, but every single one they had since Alice had seen her. But, this? Alice finally calling her the problem, saying she was judgmental? This was progress towards a break in their cycle. “You’re right, I am judgmental. What else?” She let the question sit there for a moment, knowing it sounded like a trap. “I’m sick of guessing. And, I’ll admit, I’m not good at it. So, what else do you think of me?” Allison sat there, waiting for Alice to respond, and god did she need her to. She had spent so long, willing to fight Alice tooth and nail, because she thought there was some hope of having a sliver of a relationship. But, now Allison knew she had been duped. She was holding on to an idea of her Sister, and she needed Alice to be the one to shatter it. 

it all seemed rather dramatic to alice. she wasn’t dead. she was at coney island amongst a bunch of children and, unexpectedly, a bunch of her coworkers. so she simply waved a hand and replied, “ if i’d gone missing or, like, died, don’t you think joey would’ve told you ? ” there weren’t many benefits of having a mutual friend with one’s quasi-enemy as a roommate, but, in this particular scenario, it was one. shrugging her shoulders, she tacked on, “ i don’t think suicide would make the nightly news anyway. ” at least not hers. she was no celebrity ! 

every time they got close to being close, they drifted farther. their first fight -- the only reason it was paused was due to allie’s slip of the tongue and a joint on the roof; their second one -- the only reason it was paved over, however temporarily, was due to alice’s exposing; and this one ? it didn’t seem as grand as the others. the yelling was kept to a minimum, the logic behind it wasn’t repetitive... and perhaps that made it more dangerous. perhaps the fact that it, for the very first time, wasn’t alice initiating the argument made something about it lethal. yet, she didn’t have that same sense of dread she’d had at the gala. could it be chalked up to her recent, however fleeting, state of euphoria ? perhaps. could it be chalked up to the fact that, as the non-instigator, she didn’t understand the full severity ? also possible. “ i think you want me to fall for this. ” she paused, leaning back to fully take in her sister. “ i think you need me to tell you everything that’s wrong, ‘cause no one else will. they either like whatever kinda chameleon you become around them, or they don’t point it out ‘cause they want you to ‘figure it out for yourself’... but you don’t know how. ” the latter bunch being their parents, of course. “ i think broken’s our birthright and you’re just now realizing it. ” then, with only the slightest of pauses, she asked, “ am i getting close ? ”

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papcrplancs​:

“Those are two very different severity levels.” Allison should have known that it would have gone there, but it was still irritating to her that this fight would never die. She had been at Masters for practically a month and a half at that point, and wasn’t going anywhere. “Me not texting you about a job– which I am sorry for, okay? –is completely different from what I thought happened to you. I have every right to be frustrated and concerned.”  She blinked a couple of times, waiting for a follow up. “That’s it? He came out on the roof? Was I supposed to somehow know you were on the roof of Masters? Was anyone?” She still was not understanding how Sal had done anything to help other than… doing his job? If even that, most Masters employees used to roof to smoke anyway. “Actually, I do.” Her head was swimming. All of this pent up frustration she didn’t even realize she had was coming out all at once, and Allison had no way of stopping it. “I’m not going to beg you for a second chance, and even if you wanted to give me one, I’m them in your mind whether you like it or not. If I am a lost cause to you, that’s fine. But, don’t pretend like I’m not.” we’re like this It was vulnerability in it’s own twisted way for Allison. She hated the dance of not knowing whether or not her Sister truly did hate her the way she hated their Parents or not, and the fact that Allison would not turn her back on them. 

“ are they ? ” they were. not that she fully recognized it in that moment, but allie joining a large corporation without giving her a heads-up ( which, granted, had become her entire world ) wasn’t quite as extreme as alice informing her that she was all well and good after sending a string of concerning text messages. but, to be fair... she forgot ! “ you knew i was fine. i was texting you and, like... you knew i was going somewhere you knew. ” and she had to assume allie didn’t know many dangerous people ( then again, for all they knew, son of sam 2.0 could’ve been working at masters ). “ so, like... don’t you think you would’ve been told if i’d died or whatever ? ”

alice offered a single nod. that was it. that was all he did. that was all he had to do. “ took it as a sign -- didn’t wanna traumatize him. ” a terrifying question was begged out of this situation: would it have happened had allie replaced sal ? a part of her knew she wouldn’t want to traumatize her sister(s) either, but another part of her still carried such unfair animosity... just enough to scare her -- to think she may be just bad enough. but she couldn’t... even when she began running her mouth again -- no, she couldn’t... right ? no. but goddamn her if she couldn’t argue back, even with some of the pink still swirling around. but she hesitated... because, once again, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. yes, partially because she’d only half-listened to the beginning of allie’s spiel, but that wasn’t it. “ no, ” cool, level-headed, as if she felt no sting. and she let it marinate as she collected her thoughts. “ see, if the problem’s that i’m so me, then the problem isn’t that you’re them. i mean, yeah, they may’ve had a huge impact, but it’s not that you’re them. it’s that you’re so you. hell, did you not hear that first spiel of yours ? i mean, if i’m hateful, you’re judgmental, ” she concluded, tone even throughout. to let it be known that anything allie had just said would have a lasting impact would be to admit defeat, and everything was wearing off too quickly for that.

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papcrplancs​:

“But, you don’t see how it could be frustrating to not be told that?” She tried to ignore the fact that Alice had simply done the same thing that Allison had, not letting Alice know that she had taken a job at Masters. But, as far as Allison was concerned, this was a much bigger deal than that. This was a matter of not knowing whether her Sister would show up on the news. The last thing she needed was news sources being the only form of connection she had to her Sister. 

“So, how exactly was he so helpful in all of this if you ‘don’t do heart-to-hearts’?” Was there a twinge of jealousy to all of this? Maybe. In the weeks she had been at Masters she had met all but one person who had nothing but love for Alice – ‘Alice is so kind’ ‘Alice is the best ‘I love Alice’ – She had never known that version of Alice, and it was frustrating to know end, to have to lie through her teeth with a smile when she agreed that she was wonderful. Sugar coating their strained relationship with some lie of it being typical sibling squabbles. And, maybe it was all Allison’s fault that they were like this. But, what was she supposed to do? There was nothing she could do to connect with someone who didn’t want her to. “Well, I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s too late to do anything about it.”

alice squinted at her sister as if she were the sun ! the center of the galaxy ! which, in her state, alice felt she was trying to be. “ well isn’t that just the pot calling the kettle black... ” for the most part, she’d accepted that she and allie would be working in the same building by now. but having her exact argument tossed back at her ? an argument that allie had never given a satisfactory -- an understandable -- response to ? why the hell would she owe her any kind of reasonable explanation back ? reciprocity, right ?

she rolled her eyes at the follow-up question. too tired to truly censor herself, she replied, “ he came on the roof. ” not that she’d expected allie to -- hell, she was probably nearing sleep by that time, but that emphasis seemed totally necessary to prove just how helpful sal was ! allie’s response to her own retort was unexpected. and not in a good way. she cocked her head to the side, genuinely confused, by how she could’ve been so passionate about alice not letting her in then so blasé when alice pointed out that she’d tried to before, however long ago it was. “ so... you’ll berate me about being hateful and so me, but the second i remind you that you’ve never known me -- even when i tried to get y’all to -- you’ve got nothing to say ? ” it was beginning to wear off. early stages, but beginning. “ y’know, i’d say allen and anna started this, but maybe it was just y’all all along. ”

[escxpiism]

arayafms​:

*      𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟   :    𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒   ,   @masterspost​   —

                    dark  hues  focus  on  the  squirtle  plushie  as  she  sits  for  another  round  (   she’s  lost  count   )  at  whopper  waters   .   she’s  been  roaming  around  the  park  for  a  while  now—   none  of  the  rides  have  captured  her  attention  just  yet   ,   but  that  certain  prize  caught  her  eye   .   the  round  starts  strong  with  her  leading  the  race  for  the  bell   ,   but  once  again   ,   araya  lost  to  the  kid  next  to  her   .   as  much  as  she  wants  to  steal  one  of  the  plushies  that  the  kid  won   ,   she  wouldn’t  just  fight  a  kid  over  squirtle   (   though  it’d  seem  fitting   )   .   she  admits  defeat  to  the  game   ,   maybe  she’ll  try  again  later   ?   that  was  until  a  familial  figure  came  to  view   .   it  wouldn’t  be  the  same  if  someone  else  won  the  game  for  her   ,   but  she’s  desperate  now   .   “   hey—   ”   she  wraps  her  hands  around  their  arm   ,   tugging  on  it  playfully   .   “   i’ve  tried  all  my  luck  at  this  game   ,   but  i  keep  losing  to  kids   ,   ”   she  pouts  softly   ,   looking  back  at   the  wall  covered  with  plushies   .   “   if  you  win  me  a  squirtle   ,   the  funnel  cakes  are  one   ,   deal   ?   ”

alice had been oh-so peacefully observing the various games and children and loud noises ( that would usually be a bother ) and co-workers ( that would usually definitely be a bother after those past two weeks ) from her little forrest gump bench for the past... hour or so. could she compare it to a nature documentary ? perhaps she could ! but one of said coworkers seemed to be having extreme difficulty beating a target game -- well, there was a reason her ‘exposed secret’ was able to be exposed at all ! she was great at aiming ! so, with just enough sobriety to decide it was a good time to go help out, and still just high enough to be totally fine directly approaching a co-worker, she shook her head. “ the kids here are, like... next level. ” they won so many goldfish, and she just won a human-being ! ( or she should’ve with the amount of times she hit him... ) that said, even if there wasn’t the offer of free funnel cakes, she simply had to beat this game. not necessarily for the other... but because she was too out of practice ! she needed to prove to herself that she was still totally competent ! because clearly it was not the pink that was inhibiting her -- yes, clearly it was just herself ! “ gonna need to borrow some of your money though. ” ...she’d spent all of hers trying to win a fish.

[escxpiism]

ofbvtterflies​:

yes he had noticed alice watching him struggle with the stroller– but if he ignored it, it didn’t happen right ? mannequin challenge ? he was hoping she’d be the only person he ran into today, not that he wanted to run into her to begin with. nothing against her– but masters santos, and dad santos were kinda different. he wasn’t sure he wanted to blur those lines yet– it seemed like life wasn’t really giving him an option. “ i can tell she’s like 5 seconds away from dumping the cup– so right here is fine, thanks ! ” he handed her his phone and crouched down next to sutton who did in fact dump the ice cream. she pouted some– probably overwhelmed with the coldness of the pink, now liquid ice cream. “ well that was.. fun while it lasted– this is where i say something along the lines of don’t have kids until you’re ready but, man– i don’t think i’ll ever be ready. ”

.

in that moment, alice decided that sutton’s child was a modern day philosopher -- weren’t they all just five seconds away from dumping the cup ? perhaps she would grow up to be the next rupi kaur -- writing a shower thought, then formatting it in such a way that made it look like a poem. “ alright, say cheese, ” she instructed, very serious about her task ! unfortunately, the picture didn’t reflect her mastery: the ice cream was beginning to topple, sutton looked distraught, santos looked... before returning the phone to him, she absolutely could not help but laugh at the imagined outcome of the photo versus... what it became. “ be real good for a christmas card, ” she remarked, handing the phone back. and there was no lie there ! if she got a christmas card like that, it’d be one for the books ! “ you ever thought you’d be ready ? ” ...had anyone asked if santos and nan’s child had been an accident or on purpose ?

[escxpiism]

papcrplancs​:

Kim could hear the cheers of the crowd a little further up the boardwalk, presumably enamored by the mermaids marching down the way– or, swimming? She wasn’t sure. “Queen Latifah?” Kim asked, surprise evident in her voice. How did a Mermaid Parade in Brooklyn manage to get Queen Latifah? At this point, she had to stay and see what it was all about. “Well, you’ve convinced me. We’ve gotta see who they’ve got to beat Queen Latifah– if that’s even possible.”

.

“ queen latifah. ” an actress. a singer-songwriter. a rapper. a producer. queen latifah did it all, and jack commended her. perhaps they celebrated her. “ i doubt anyone could come close to beating queen latifah, but it’ll certainly be interesting to see who they’ve chosen this year. from my research, they’re usually lesser known names, however... if they’re meant to be the showstoppers, then i’ll trust their instincts. ”

[escxpiism]

jojoswilson​:

Joey believed everything that he saw or anything that people told him - he still had to figure out if that was a good thing or if it wasn’t, but once he saw somewhere that there was going to be a mermaid parade, he was pretty excited about it. Mostly because he was pretty sure a few people had told him mermaids weren’t real, but this was bound to change everything… right? As he was waiting for said parade to start, he smiled once he saw Jack approach him, nodding his head at the other’s question. “Of course I did! It’s pretty exciting, right? I thought everyone would make fun of me for being excited about the mermaids, but at least I know there’s some people who still believe they’re real…” He said with a small chuckle, as he grabbed the bag of kettlecorn from the other’s hand and started eating some of it. “Are you excited to see the mermaids?” He asked with a small smile.

.

now... did joey know that there would be no real mermaids ? it would be the logical assumption of most, but joey had mentioned to jack once that he was worried his cat was in a gang... ‘still believe they’re real’ -- that was the ticket ! “ you may be a bit disappointed if you’re hoping for real mermaids. it’ll primarily be scantily clad women in nautical-themed clothing on floats, ” they specified, preferring to let joey down before he got his hopes up too high for real mermaids than forcing him to discover it for himself. every straight and bi man’s dream... but joey was neither. “ however, there is, ” and this was where jack got excited, “ a celebrity king and queen at the end of the parade. queen latifah’s been a part of it in the past ! ”

[escxpiism]

bndz​:

⠀     ⠀ ⠀ 𝐀𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀  𝐖𝐀𝐒  𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄  a  kid  in  a  candy  store  as  she  roamed  around  coney  island  .  there  was  so  much  to  do  ,  yet  so  little  time  &  she  wanted  to  do  it  all  !  luckily  she  arrived  bright  &  early  so  that  she  could  make  her  rounds  .  adrianna  wasn’t  the  best  at  games  ,  but  it  was  her  mission  to  leave  coney  island  with  at  least  one  plushie  .  she  had  to  .  with  her  many  failed  attempts  throughout  the  day  ,  adri  thought  it  was  only  right  that  she  tried  her  hand  at  basketball  .  how  hard  could  that  be  ?  her  determination  was  at  an  all  time  high  as  she  marched  towards  the  very  station  that  her  mind  was  set  on  .  but  the  glee  that  was  racing  through  her  body  was  short  lived  once  her  eyes  fell  on  what  was  right  beside  it  .  fish  .  not  just  any  fish  .  goldfish  .  basketball  was  off  the  table  now  .  fate  brought  her  to  the  goldfish  &  she  couldn’t  say  no  to  fate  !  well  ,  that  was  until  fate  decided  that  she  was  going  to  ram  directly  into  a  familiar  face  instead  .  

“  alice  !  i’m  so  so  sorry  !  i  was  distracted  by  the  fish  !  are  you  okay  ?  did  i  hurt  you  ?  ”  adri  frantically spat  out  .  she  hadn’t  heard  from  alice  since  she  texted  her  about  two  weeks  ago  when  all  the  rumors  were  flying  around  .  she  was  concerned  ,  but  adri  concluded  that  maybe  she  just  needed  some  space  .  if  something  like  this  happened  to  adri  ,  she  would  want  her  space  to  as  well  .  especially  if  it  were  all  lies  .  they  were  lies  ,  right  ?  they  had  to  be  .  there  was  no  way  the  alice  that  she  knew  would  ever  hurt  someone  .  regardless  ,  alice  was  her  best  friend  &  there  was  no  way  anyone  could  change  her  mind  about  her  over  some  stupid  rumors  .  “  it’s  like  seeing  a  ghost  !  i  haven’t  seen  you  in  forever  !  where  have  you  been  ?  i  missed  you  !  ”

thus far, with her pink high, alice hadn’t had it in herself to really mind the fact that basically every other person she saw was one of her coworkers. hell, for a while, they probably just thought she was dead on a bench ! now that would be a rumor ! but this one was a different story. not only was she becoming slightly ( slightly ) more cognizant, but adri had seemed rather adamant about alice’s ‘exposing’ having simply been a rumor. a rumor would be that she died on that bench -- it was completely true that she shot that guy ! she’d even confessed to it in the chat ! there had been interrogations regarding it ! ( ... were they ever gonna follow up ? ) yet adri, in their personal texts, continued to refer to it as a rumor. fiction. she kind of wished it had been ! alas...

“ no -- you are all good. ” but the fish hurt her by not letting her win them. and the guy running the booth hurt her by not simply giving her a fish after she’d hit him three times. that had to count for something ! not that she brought that up... but she could’ve won a human, right ? “ are you all good ? ” reciprocity. and trying to avoid the subject that was brought up all too soon. this woman... who did not believe a very true truth that she could not take back... was now asking where she’d been. hell, she barely knew ! home a lot. the masters roof a couple times. phoenix’s that one time. finding people who could help her score some new stuff. see -- none of it really sounded good ! not that home was bad, but it wasn’t good. not that phoenix’s was bad, but he was considered a douchebag by the masses and she had no clue why she turned him into her moral arbiter. adri would’ve been better for that ! she had morals ! after what was... probably seconds too long, she finally replied, “ oh, i’ve been... around. ” technically true ! everywhere was around ! “ man, you too. ” ... kind of. she hadn’t been looking forward to seeing her very in denial best friend... solely because she was very in denial. “ masters still in one piece ? ”

[escxpiism]

papcrplancs​:

“Alright, synonymous then.” Allison didn’t think it was worth it to continue to play guessing games. It would drive her insane trying to figure out what was going on inside of Alice’s head. That was far too scary of a place to be. “Yes, Alice, you were talking like you were going to do… something and I got concerned.” Yet another mention of the janitor. Allison could not understand this relationship she had with him. It felt like all she could mention was Sal, Sal, Sal, and it made no sense. It wasn’t as if he had somehow gotten some degree to be able to figure all these problems she clearly had overnight. What good could Sal the Janitor do, that Alice’s own family couldn’t? And, there Alice went, playing dumb once again. “You know perfectly well what I want to talk about. But, hey, I guess I’m not the janitor, so why would you talk to me? Right?” Allison stood back up, pacing in a small area to try and keep herself calm. It was hardly working, but she was at least able to keep her voice level. “I want to help you. I want to be there for you if I can. I just– I don’t know how to deal with you.” That wasn’t what she meant. At least, not in the way that it sounded. But, it wasn’t as if she could take it back now. “I mean– you know what I mean. You just are so you all the time. Avoiding everything, grumpy, hateful. I’ll never understand you.” 

alice nodded her head with a slight smile, ever so pleased that she didn’t get corrected this time around. synonymous. definitely the word. “ yeah, but... ” - pause for either dramatics or brief moment of distraction because there was some kid eating ice cream off the boardwalk and even she, in her warped state of mind, knew that was a questionable choice - “ - i didn’t. still right here. ” which was kind of annoying, but at least she’d found a brand new outlook on life ! all it took was trying a few new things ( but never touching heroin ! she’d been warned ! ) and realizing it didn’t matter, but in a cool way ! 

alice slumped down some more because she gets it, mom ! “ hey -- me and sal are close, but we don’t do heart-to-hearts either. ” perhaps sal had something allie did not ( an existing friendship with alice ), but she needn’t worry about alice spilling her guts to him and not her ! not that he wouldn’t be the more likely candidate, but the fact remained ! however, once she took in her sister’s follow-up statements, she turned towards her, eyebrows furrowed -- allie wanted to be there but alice was so herself - hateful. “ so do you just, like... not remember everything before ? ‘cause i was the first one to ever try -- and for so long. ” this time, she wouldn’t take allie being younger as an excuse. being shielded from the truth of a dark subject was one thing; simply trying to grow close was another. “ you don’t get to say i’m grumpy and hateful and so me and that you’ll never understand me when you just took too long to try. ”