essekthelysssideblog
essekthelysssideblog
[Woobifies your war criminal]
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I kept wanting to reblog Essek content, but my friends follow my main and I kept getting anxious about it. This is 100% a me problem, but then I realized I could just make a sideblog. (Tales, she/her)
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essekthelysssideblog · 11 days ago
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“Time is one of my specialties.”
I miss Rosohna. T_T It’s going to take actual years for the MN animated series to get there.
Bonus Caleb reaction to this scene.
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essekthelysssideblog · 11 days ago
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«It took us some time to get there, but we found our rhythm.»
Art by @loliwobbles
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essekthelysssideblog · 12 days ago
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TS!SG and Romantic Trappings
Loosely inspired by this post and prompted by @disastergenius, here is a non-exhaustive list of common storytelling markers that, either alone or in combination, often indicate a dynamic is intended as romantic. I have broken down each item for TS!SG in terms of engagement, exclusivity, and reasoning.
Engagement: whether or not they do the thing
Exclusivity: a common throughline of 'romantic' dynamics (i.e. they Only do this with each other)
Reasoning: why they do or don’t do the thing
Some background for Touching Sentiments: I assume most people dislike being touched by people they hate and like being touched by people they love. What if, once he genuinely likes the Nein, Essek still frequently dislikes their touch despite craving it at the same time? This is TS’s premise and flavors how Essek and Caleb engage in their relationship in the series. Different markers apply (if at all) at different points in the TS timeline, so this is the general vibe around 1.5 to 2 years post-C2.
See below!
Relationship labeling: yes and no
Exclusivity: none
Various terms apply to Caleb and Essek’s relationship (friendship, companionship, partnership, kinship, to name a few) and so they opt to leave it unlabeled, generally referring to the concept of their relationship as ‘this’ or ‘us’ when speaking to each other.
‘Define the relationship’ talks: yes
Exclusivity: none
This one is established directly on-stream (see Caleb’s ‘we are, friends, now’ feeling out Essek’s familiarity in ep 77 as well as their talk on the tower’s ninth floor in episode 133). In TS, their footing changes often, especially at the beginning as they get comfortable in one another’s daily lives.
Feelings confessions: yes
Exclusivity: none
Related to the above, the Nein as a whole frequently share the fact they are fond of each other and only rarely is it treated as a revelation. Essek, when capable of articulating his feelings, will often express them either in a stumbling rush or a matter-of-fact way. Caleb tends to keep his affections to himself unless he deems them necessary, beneficial, or useful to express.
Saying ‘I love you’: no
Exclusivity: n/a
Out of universe, they don’t say ‘I love you’ verbatim because I have banned myself from writing it. In universe, ‘I love you’ said by Caleb to Essek or by Essek to anyone is a question, not a declaration. It does not clarify, it is a request for clarification. It is a less clumsy ‘do you feel loved by me?’ or a succinct ‘am i loving you right?’. ‘Love’ in terms of emotion is a vague word to them and they prefer to be more precise.
Flirting for fun: yes
Exclusivity: none
They both find it entertaining to tease, compliment, and fluster the other, but this is not exclusive in any direction in the Mighty Nein’s dynamics. Caleb’s style aligns the most with Essek’s tastes. (Rather, Caleb can/does mold his flirtations to Essek’s tastes.) Essek’s style involves intense staring and layered language, and is largely misinterpreted by all but Caleb and, much to her chagrin, Beau. (e.g. Essek may flirtatiously compliment Caleb’s dexterity when Caleb successfully counterspells- most of the Nein would assume the flirtation only lies in his observation of Caleb’s casting reflexes (physical) when it’s actually also an implied compliment on Caleb’s quick thinking (intellectual).)
Flirting for romance/sex: kind of
Exclusivity: None in concept, yes in practice
Essek is not typically receptive to flirtation when the one flirting with him is just after a sense of ‘romance’ or a sexual encounter. Though neither Caleb nor Essek are opposed to being flirted with by the Nein, none of them do so with Caleb or Essek for romance/sex reasons save for Kingsley on occasion.
Terms of endearment: yes and no
Exclusivity: none*
Their terms of endearment for each other are ‘Caleb Widogast’ and ‘Essek (in a fond tone, no Thelyss)’. Their names are very important to themselves. Essek acknowledges the time and effort and care and kindness and strength it took to foster Caleb into *Caleb*. Caleb acknowledges Essek as an individual, untethered from courtly contexts and familial expectations. ‘Essek’ alone is a new start. Caleb knows what it’s like to inhabit a floating identity and wants to reassure Essek he sees him underneath any name, and so he teases Essek over having multiple aliases. Under the guise of adding to Essek’s running list of aliases, he tries out a few pet names (e.g. ‘Schatz’, ‘Schmusekatze’, ‘dearheart’). ‘Dear’ is established in canon, and TS!Essek gains ‘dear’ as a result of the aforementioned teasing. This one sticks because Essek appreciates the fondness it conveys, like an anonymized greeting in a letter. Essek thinks of Caleb in fond Undercommon terms, but he tends not to say them out loud. *Essek fullnames the members of the Nein as terms of endearment, so they usually don’t register it.
Prolonged mouth kissing: yes
Exclusivity: none in concept, yes in practice
Essek in canon frequently touches his lips while thinking, so in TS I've extrapolated that into TS!Essek enjoying his lips being touched. Physicality aside, between Caleb and Essek, kissing on the mouth represents voluntary vulnerability. They can’t efficiently/secretly cast most spells while engaged and it is a distracting activity besides. Kissing on the lips also becomes a means to determine each other’s emotional state. Neither Caleb nor Essek are entirely opposed to being kissed by the rest of the Nein, but no one’s genuinely asked.
Hand holding: yes
Exclusivity: none
Aside from mind and mouth, a wizard’s hands are their most important tools. Both Caleb and Essek readily acknowledge their bloodstained hands, so they enjoy casual hand holding in private as a representation of repurposed weapons forging tenderness instead. They also taunt one another by pinning or otherwise restraining the other’s hands. Essek frequently holds Yasha’s and Jester’s hands.
Public displays of affection: kind of
Exclusivity: none
The Mighty Nein are a physically affectionate group. Essek prefers to express his affection privately. Caleb follows suit but will sneak a gesture if he thinks he can get away with it.
Cuddling: yes
Exclusivity: none
It’s a low-effort way to enjoy each other’s proximity. They just have to lay there. They don’t even have to talk.
Sensual touch: yes
Exclusivity: some
Given Essek’s ambivalence towards touch, sensual touch is often a trust exercise involving the discovery, exploration, and maintenance of boundaries. He and Caleb are experimentalists and enjoy teasing out effects from their causes.
Nudity: rarely
Exclusivity: none
The Mighty Nein bathe together and will change clothes in each other’s company. Caleb has few qualms about being nude. Essek has many. Caleb tends to stay dressed in Essek’s company unless asked otherwise.
Sex/Sexual touch: yes, depending on the definition
Exclusivity: none in concept, yes in practice
Due to his Kryn cultural upbringing, Essek initially assumes humans (and other short-lived races) think of sex only as a penetrative and/or reproductive act. Caleb and Essek eventually jointly define sex as physical and intellectual play that may or may not involve genitalia or stimulation but does involve some degree of vulnerability and arousal. Essek rarely wants sex spontaneously or seeks it out in an unestablished dynamic; it doesn’t occur to him. Despite typically enjoying it, sex isn’t something Caleb actively pursues in or out of their relationship because he likes the feeling of pining in a ‘hurts so good’ sort of way.
Shared sleep space: yes
Exclusivity: none
A display of vulnerability, especially from Caleb’s perspective. Caleb trusts Essek to watch his back while Caleb himself is both unconscious and unseeing in the dark. Caleb asleep is usually not disruptive to Essek’s trances.
Cohabitation: yes
Exclusivity: somewhat
Neither Caleb nor Essek mind sharing day-to-day living arrangements with the rest of the Nein. Essek moves around enough that there’s technically no one place he settles for long, but he does end up keeping most of his belongings with Caleb both for practicality and sentiment. Caleb and Essek do periodically share housing with Beauregard and Yasha, though Beauregard and Yasha eventually carve out their own space.
Date activities: no
Exclusivity: n/a
They don’t typically have planned outings with romantic intent. They spend time together when and where they can. Essek is more likely to go on a platonic date with Jester than a romantic date Caleb.
Matching rings: yes
Exclusivity: none
Caleb and Essek share a pair of silver rings. The rings serve as material components for Telepathy, a spell they worked on together as they were re-reestablishing their relationship. Essek wears his ring on his right hand ring finger. Caleb wears his ring on a chain around his neck.
Engagememt/marriage: no
Exclusivity: n/a
They don’t have much legal ability to wed using Essek’s real identity and they don't need a witnessed ceremony to acknowledge their care for one another. Of anyone, Beauregard is probably who Caleb would place in charge of his estate.
Having children: no
Exclusivity: n/a
Caleb wants to focus on the children of the Empire year by year as a whole, not a single child or a few specific children for their entire lives. However, he is very open to taking on a dedicated godfather, uncle, or mentor role. Essek doesn’t enjoy the thought of accommodating a child’s needs on a continuous daily basis, nor does he trust himself to raise a person from the ground up. He had a hysterectomy decades ago in part to eliminate the possibility of accidental conception. He is marginally more open to a mentor role, though he probably wouldn’t think of himself as a mentor.
(Lifelong) commitment: yes
Exclusivity: none
Essek commits himself to the Mighty Nein, Caleb and his goals included. Caleb commits himself to bettering the Empire and holding the Nein together.
Extras for funsies:
Non-verbal communication:
Common is TS!Caleb’s second language and TS!Essek’s third. The two of them don’t always have a shared verbal language, especially with matters of the heart and body, so they make their own language using both words and their bodies. This includes Essek’s ability, as a drow, to purr. After the Telepathy incident, Essek tends to go nonverbal & frozen when extremely distressed/overwhelmed, so he eventually uses taps and squeezes to communicate with Caleb when in such a state.
Some aspec easter eggs:
Essek wears a black ring on his right hand middle finger (in universe: teleport anchor to the Nein Heroez II)
Essek briefly describes his relationship with Caleb as a ‘wavership’ (in universe: a possible translation of the Kryn Undercommon term ‘ferede’)
Jester gives Essek a 'best friend squish' (see 'platonic attraction' in previous link) (in universe: she literally squishes him)
Essek likens his internal search for sexual feelings to searching a pond for turtles (in universe: just another one of his metaphors)
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essekthelysssideblog · 13 days ago
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I know I've said it a lot, but it is genuinely so important to me that Essek could've been a textbook tragedy—only acting in his own nature, too stuck in his personal failings to change, a victim of the narrative sunk cost fallacy. It's important that due to the actions he's taken before the narrative and the society he lives in, he is doomed to failure and headed for a tragic, painful death or downfall.
Except that he does what is unfathomable to a tragic character—he changes! He looks at the path he's laid for himself and the fate looming over him, and he adapts. He changes his nature in key ways; he allows others outside of his own story to influence him.
In fact, this is only a course of action he can take because he is not the center of the story—that the central characters choose to offer him the perspective necessary to see it. (Hamlet cannot be swayed no matter anyone's pleading, because his perspective trumps all others.) And this actually lets Caleb avoid this cycle as well, as opposed to falling back into it in the eleventh hour—he offers the choice to Essek long before he properly takes it for himself, and when Essek parrots it back to him later, he can accept it because it originally came from him.
And it's also important that it is hard for Essek, in the end—his life is a constant process of illusion and fear and hiding—of becoming someone else. Not because he has to do some kind of penance, but because it is genuinely very difficult to change, to start over, and it is never a process that simply happens. You have to think about it everyday to maintain it, and it's gonna suck a lot of the time—but it's worth it, and you'll be better for it.
And it's also just so delightful that the character following this path is one who mechanically specializes in manipulating fate.
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essekthelysssideblog · 14 days ago
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green beans
gardening | shadowgast week
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essekthelysssideblog · 14 days ago
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ok so im watching m9 for the first time, and as its been out for years atp i know a lot of things that happen in the campaign. mostly, i know that caleb and essek end up together. and i know a lot of people talk about how courting of the crick like… prophecies their eventual love story, and i would agree i think it does. but theres another thing thats making me fucking INSANE about them.
so when m9 first get their hands of the beacon, caleb identifies it, because hes a wizard, and is scared by it right. but when its just him at the table, and matt is describing his dream he says “and for the first time in a long time you feel at peace” when hes dreaming about the beacon and dunamancy and whatnot.
its just so fucking insane to me that basically calebs first ever direct interaction with dunamancy is PEACE!! LIKE ARE WE KIDDING!?!(! HE FELT PEACE AND COMFORT!! AND HE FEELS PEACE ABD COMFORT WITH ESSEK!! THE FUCKING GUY WHO WEILDS DUNAMACY BETTER THAN ANYONE!! WHO FUCKING TAUGHT CALEB HOW TO WEILD IT!! UGH THEY MAKE ME CRAZYYYY
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essekthelysssideblog · 15 days ago
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thread | shadowgast week
(i took some liberties with 'thread' as 'yarn' but i just wanted to draw the wizards in their downtime)
(also had to include tiny M9 portraits in the BG)
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essekthelysssideblog · 19 days ago
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✨Them✨
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essekthelysssideblog · 19 days ago
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Doodle prompt: roll a d4
1. Snessek, snakeleb, and his familiar, snumpkin
2. Mini mercaleb in modern au Essek's fish tank
3. jonas midst's least favorite holiday tradition (any holiday, midstian or not)
4. Mighty Nein Christmas decoration AU
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There are Nein of them! Merry Critmas :)
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essekthelysssideblog · 20 days ago
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"I'm sorry... It doesn't fix this but- I'm sorry..." "Then be better, Thelyss."
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essekthelysssideblog · 20 days ago
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Happy wip Wednesday! Doodled this silly thing, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether or not your cat is your wizard boyfriend or an actual cat.
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essekthelysssideblog · 20 days ago
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Being a prodigy is a lovely thing, and sometimes love for the craft can sustain one for a lifetime.
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essekthelysssideblog · 21 days ago
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I just think he’s neat!
A wip of essek feeling the m9 love
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essekthelysssideblog · 21 days ago
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Just some kissy Shadowgast doodles
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essekthelysssideblog · 21 days ago
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ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ i gotchu fam
i gotchu
||ko-fi||
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essekthelysssideblog · 21 days ago
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Critical Role really said forehead affection of any kind makes everything better(?).
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essekthelysssideblog · 2 months ago
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