esyla-writes

[esyla-writes]

Chapter 17: The Notch

Chapter Excerpt

He rolled his eyes. Games were really not his thing. And as he was still without his wand (2 more days until his probation was up, but who’s counting?), he was reduced to using the marker and easel setup that Longbottom had dragged out of storage somewhere.

But then he looked down at his card and smirked. Maybe this would be fun after all. And maybe it would make Granger laugh again…

“Time… starts… now!” Theo announced with a slap against the egg timer, which began its buzzing countdown.

Draco made a production out of drawing a generic stick figure, giving time for Granger to throw out some tepid early guesses.

“Er… a person? …Human? …Boy?”

Draco shook his head each time and patiently drew a mop of messy short hair on top of stick-boy’s head and an unmistakable lightning-shaped scar.

“Oi!” Potter shouted, catching on that he was about to be the butt of a joke.

“Harry!” Granger giggled as Draco painstakingly added round glasses to his oeuvre. Hearing that sound caused a warm ball of light to expand in his chest. He would do unspeakable things to hear it again.

“Why would Harry be a Pictionary prompt? Isn’t this a muggle game?” Longbottom scratched his head in confusion as he examined the game box, but Draco’s sole focus was adding the right shading to the broom and quidditch pitch he’d expanded his drawing to include.

“Sports! …Flying! …Stadium!” Granger continued to guess with increasing enthusiasm.

“20 more seconds!” Theo announced. It was time for the finishing details.

With a flourish of the felt-tip pen, his final brushstrokes took shape.

“A… bin?” Granger was bang on but that wasn’t the exact prompt. He urged her to keep guessing with a silent hand motion, gesturing back to stick-Potter’s face now poking out of the top of the bin.

“5 seconds!”

“Oh! Oh! It’s rubbish!! The word is rubbish!!” Granger jumped up and down with glee at finally guessing the word and then doubled over laughing.

“Indeed. Potter’s skills on a broom are absolute rubbish.” He spared a small moment to grin impishly at Potter but mostly he basked in the sight of Granger celebrating their point, toothy smile stretched wide across her face, skirt fluttering around her thighs as she cheered…

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 16: Plan B

Chapter Excerpt

Instead, Pansy jumped in to throw Malfoy off the scent. "Potter just meant her enemies in general. As you know, there are many."

Nott seemed to agree that Malfoy should be kept in the dark. "Too many, if you ask me, but I haven't had a dream about your death lately so at least there's that!" Nott announced with far too much cheer for such a morbid topic, clapping Hermione on the shoulder. "It's been nice going back to my regularly scheduled fantasies about sexy mediwitches who need to take my temperature..."

"Right," Malfoy drawled, unimpressed with their diversionary tactics. "So no revenge?"

"Not today," Nott shrugged.

"Then we're moving on to Plan B," Malfoy announced.

"What's Plan B?" Hermione prompted.

"I read that Plan B is a muggle emergency contraceptive that can prevent pregnancy after unprotected--" Neville smothered Luna's sex ed lecture with a palm over her mouth. He was blushing furiously.

"In this case, Malfoy is referring to our plan to take Hermione on a vacation to take her mind off things. Will you go with us Hermione? It'll be so much fun, we promise!"

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 15: Something in Return

Chapter Excerpt

"Who's the target?" Theo asked with genuine interest. He was no more an advocate for house-elves than the next pureblood, but he could get behind political intrigue.

"Marcus Flint. Slytherin Class of '94. Were you all friendly with him? What do you think of my odds?"

Blaise shook his head. "I only played quidditch after he'd graduated. Draco, wasn't he captain your first couple years on the team?"

"Yeah, but I didn't spend any time with him off the pitch. Sixth and Seventh years don't generally hang out with underclassmen." He scratched his jaw in thought. "You saw our games, Granger, you know he likes to play aggressively."

"Is that your euphemism for blatant fouls?" Granger joked with a playful smirk.

"Just be on your guard, all right? I can't say for sure whether or not he'll go for the sponsorship idea, but it wouldn't hurt for you to be prepared for him to ask what's in it for him. I remember him being selfishly motivated."

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 15: Something in Return

Author Commentary

I'm back! I feel so horrible that I set up such a good rhythm of posting twice a week and then fell off the face of the earth for a month, but I hope my readers forgive me and continue following this story.

This chapter picks up after Hermione has been dumped by Marc and we see her overdue return to therapy. Based on her revelations in this chapter regarding her warped perspective of the Four-Step Action Plan I considered adding an unreliable narrator tag. Not sure the fic needs it, but I hope I'm doing the shifting POVs thing justice by having characters give incorrect or biased interpretations of events based on their own personal lens.

The Seven Levels of Intimacy is a real book, but I've never read it...

Next we get our first chapter with Pansy's POV (I was surprised I hadn't written one already) and more insight into why she's against a Dramione pairing and how Draco's crush on Hermione is progressing. Don't worry, she won't stand in their way when the time comes. She's just working through her own feelings.

We also see some character growth from Draco who has flown off the handle several times in previous chapters when he feels like Hermione is doing some naive or dangerous. He's learning to take it down a notch because messages delivered in insults often aren't well recieved. Who knew?

And finally, we have the big meeting between Hermione and Marcus Flint. This scumbag comes out of left field and Hermione handles it as well as she can but she still suffers consequences. Life truly isn't fair, especially when a sadistic author is determining your fate.

It's shitty all around, but Hermione needed out of that dead-end job anyway. She's meant for better things, and those things will come to her in the following chapters.

Sorry Hermione got fired and sexually harassed on your birthday, Draco...

On a lighter note, Ashley Moore is still my #1 fancast choice for Hermione, but I recently discovered blogger Barbie Brignoni and she is a close second!

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 14: A Vanilla Latte Named Bob

Excerpt

"How can I help you today?" Apron Man asked pleasantly.

"Yes, er... I'd like a vanilla latte... um... please." Narcissa was mortified. She hadn't stumbled over her words so much since she was a child being rapped over her knuckles and told to enunciate and speak clearly by her etiquette tutor. Miss Auclair had been a horrible woman, but her lessons ran deep.

"Tall, Grande, or Venti?" he queried, but for all the galleons in the Malfoy vault Narcissa didn't have the foggiest idea what he meant by it.

"Tall?" she took a wild guess. It was the only English word of the three. Perhaps this shop catered frequently to foreigners and had different options for them.

"For here or to go?"

She was tempted to answer 'to go' so that she could flee the premises, but answered, "For here, please."

"And could I get a name for the order?"

Narcissa panicked. She was expected to name her order? What stange customs muggles had. "Bob," she blurted out, not knowing why that was the first name to pop into her head. She didn't know anyone named Bob. Apron Man looked at her strangely. Customers were probably much more creative usually, but he was kind enough not to comment.

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 14: A Vanilla Latte Named Bob

Author Commentary

Whew! I wrote this chapter at the speed of light! Hope it doesn't suck as a result...

Let's start with my thoughts on the convo between Harry and Hermione. Clearly, Harry cannot be trusted to keep a secret. He snitched on Draco and Theo so fast... Draco will definitely think twice before he approaches Harry for help with anything borderline illegal next time (and let's be real... there will definitely be a next time).

At least it should be a relief to my readers that Hermione is coming out of her delusional state re: Marc. With more time, she'll look back at herself from this period and cringe. We've probably all got those moments in our past tucked in a box labeled 'what were you thinking?', am I right?

Friends reference... I'm old

Next we see an entirely new POV, Narcissa Malfoy! I see her as a mother who realized too late that she was passing along all of her generational trauma to her son. I also feel like she would be feeling supremely guilty that she had a hand in nudging Draco towards his bad choices during the war and now has to watch him suffer for them while she got a much lighter sentence due to never taking the Dark Mark.

And lastly, we see Tonks wracking her bald-headed brains to solve the mystery of where Dolohov and Greyback are hiding. Lavender's name also pops up again (we haven't seen her since the interrogations in Chapter 5). She has a role to play in this mystery but it'll be another several chapters before you learn what it is! Just a small teaser of what's to come.

Next chapter will the last chapter of what I'm considering Act 1 and it will have some big action so be sure to stay tuned!

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 13: Princess of Whales

Excerpt

Hermione decided to deal with Theo first, turning a deaf ear towards the steady stream of swears coming from Malfoy hanging above them, and pointed all three wands at him threateningly. "How can I be sure it's really you? You could be using polyjuice for all I know!"

"I dunno... ask me a question only I would know how to answer?"

"Okay... Where did you think Princess Diana lived until you visited Kensington Palace last year?"

"That's your security question??"

"Answer it or I'll hex you!"

"Merlin... I told you this in confidence..." he muttered, before continuing at a normal volume. "I thought she lived in the ocean, and to be fair they called her the Princess of Whales!"

"All right, that checks out I suppose," she conceded, lowering the wands from attack position.

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 13: Princess of Whales

Author Commentary

Turns out that my cliffhanger from the last chapter only dropped you about 2 feet! Hahaha! This is a slow burn, of course the big drama will be saved for the end. This is all a warm up! But I'm enjoying torturing my readers along the way.

So it turns out that Hermione wasn't in danger from the portkey, but man was she ready for it! I was excited to write her as a little more aggressive and competent after all the emotional upheaval of the previous chapters, so it was super fun to write about how thoroughly she bests both Theo and Draco in a matter of seconds.

Joke about Diana, Princess of Whales brought to you courtesy of this children's book

I made up one of the spells that Hermione uses obviously using google translate for the latin (vine binding... probably not grammatically correct, but whatevs, this is fanfiction, baby!) and it was definitely inspired by Devil's Snare.

This is possibly the funniest look I've ever seen on Emma Watson's face

I also really enjoyed all the speculation from my reviewers about Marc. Honestly, the hardest part about wrapping up the Marc arc of the story was deciding who would get the honors of punching him in the face (it was never a question of whether he would get punched in the face, only by whose fist). Harry was out because he's already had the honor of punching someone to avenge Hermione (poor Theo, less deserving, so less satisfying for Harry). I hemmed and hawed between Theo and Draco for a while, and almost even rewrote the entire chapter when I had the wild thought that maybe Hermione should get the punch. But at the end of the day Draco won out and I'm happy with the flow of things.

A quick clarification on the hex Draco uses at the end: Hermione originally used a similar hex on a sleezy guy named Anderson at Pansy's party (Chapter 6). Her version was set to activate the caterwauling charm whenever he touched a woman without express, verbal permission. Draco's version is a literal more liberal though. He intended it to be set off even if Marc has a willing partner since Marc is manipulative enough to get consent and still have the relationship be sketchy (like with Hermione). Marc thought it didn't work because he didn't feel anything and there were no flashy lights, but I can assure you it very much did work.

Bonus pic of how I envisioned Theo's study at Nott Hall

Bonus meme of Theo to Draco while they're arguing with Hermione

Lastly, it may interest you to know that based on the events of this chapter I've added a 'Protective Draco Malfoy' tag to this fic on AO3!

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 12: A Birth Day

Excerpt

"Ginny!" a shimmering silver weasel burst through the wall and landed on the moldy rug before them. It was Arthur Weasley's patronus. "Everything is fine, but come to St. Mungo's when you can. Fleur went into labor! The baby is coming!"

"The baby..." Ginny looked like she couldn't currently process the meaning of her father's message, but Harry leapt into action and pulled both their traveling cloaks out of the closet.

"You're going to be an auntie," he managed to say with as much cheer as he could muster.

"An auntie... Voldemort's nipple I'm going to be an auntie..." Ginny still looked mildly concussed, so Harry pulled her to her feet and began arranging her cloak over her shoulders.

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 12: A Birth Day

Author Commentary

Not to be confused with Chapter 11 "A Birthday", which covered the events of Teddy Lupin's second birthday party, Chapter 12 "A Birth Day" is about the day that Victoire Weasley is born. Or at least the events going on in the background while she is being born!

We start with Hermione confirming that she really did have sex with Marc on their vacation in Brighton (and several more times since!) Sorry to anyone hoping she would save her virginity for Draco, but here are my unsolicited thoughts about that...

This doesn't mean that I don't intend to make Hermione and Draco endgame. In this fic they will be wonderful together once I'm done with the slow burn torture.

I find that it's exceedingly rare for people IRL to be together forever with the person who they lose their virginity to, so this is just a dash of realism. I realize that this is a fanfic about a fantasy world and realism hardly matters, but please forgive my selective choices...

Draco certainly didn't wait for her to lose his virginity, so I think it would be a double standard to make Hermione wait.

Anyway, here's a cute gif of the face I imagine Hermione would be making when she told Pansy and Theo about it. No idea what is being actually said in this gif (might be "Backstreet Boy"??). Let the terrible lip reading attempts commence!

Next up is a scene with Harry and Ginny. Sorry... I did warn you that they don't get a HEA together. I'm trying really hard not to make this a Weasley bashing fic, so I want to make it clear that I don't fault Ginny for her views on motherhood. Really neither of them are in the wrong here. Sometimes you can love someone deeply but a relationship with them just doesn't work out. That's what's happening here.

And finally we arrive at the hospital to await Victoire's arrival into the world. As you may intuit from the inminent breakup between Ginny and Harry, and Hermione's conversation with Molly, the Weasleys will be exiting this fic shortly. I mentioned this in a previous post, but I just don't think it's healthy for Hermione to cling to her assaulter's family. Scary as it may be, she needs to let go.

Side note, I wrote a line about Hermione feeling like Alice in Wonderland when she reads her urgent message because the simple instruction of 'pick it up' reminded me of the 'drink me' and 'eat me' instructions that Alice finds to shrink and unshrink her.

Remember???

Tune in next chapter to find out where the portkey took Hermione and whether she dies a gruesome death! 😊

The portkey stares into your soul and compels you to read and review

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 11: A Birthday

Excerpt

Tonks had chosen to host Teddy's second birthday party at her mother's house since her own was, quote: "a disaster zone". Hermione had been to the home of Andromeda Tonks neé Black several times before, but found that it had been completely transformed for the day's festivities. There were bright yellow and gleaming silver streamers draped from the cottage rafters, giant balloons in the shape of zoo animals tethered to the boughs of the fruit trees visible through the windows, and the air was filled with bubbles magically charmed to emit music when they popped. It was lucky that they were the only house around for miles, no muggles to confund or neighbors to annoy in general (the elephant-shaped balloon had just raised its trunk and trumpeted loudly enough to startle a flock of birds into flight).

"Oh, bless you for being early!" Tonks greeted Hermione with a quick hug and then shoved Teddy unceremoniously into her arms. "Will you watch him for a minute? I've had to pee for the last hour and mum is busy with the cooking." Tonks didn't wait for a response and shot off towards the bathroom like a woman possessed.

"Hello to you too," Hermione chuckled. "Let's go see how your Nana is faring, shall we?" She tweaked Teddy's nose, eliciting a giggle from the boy, and he started chanting 'Nana!' at the top of his lungs.

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 11: A Birthday

Author Commentary

This chapter was originally going to be titled "A Birthday and a Birth Day" but I couldn't cover both events in a reasonable number of words so had to split it into two chapters. Clearly, Chapter 12 will be "A Birth Day". It will cover the aftermath of Hermione losing her virginity and some other points of drama that I've been hinting about re: Harry and Ginny.

Whose birth day will it be? Victoire! Canonically, she's born on May 2, 2000, on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts.

Enough about the next chapter, let's tall about this one. First important detail: Hermione's rant about how Tonks, Harry, and Malfoy are babying her was heavily inspired by this product...

What Hermione thinks Malfoy would install in her apartment if left unattended

I don't know where I originally saw this product or why it's made such an impression on me, but it's hilarious.

This chapter is meant to kind of a soft interlude in between the heavy drama. Nothing softer than a two-year-old's borthday party! Especially a magical one. I had fun thinking about cute magical decorations.

Realistic balloon animals that can move and make noise please!

On a more serious note... Hermione. We get a better glimpse into her thought process in this chapter, and it's a mess to be honest. I got a very thoughtful review on ff.net that pointed out that Hermione is rushing things and that not telling a potential lover about her trauma is no bueno, and that reviewer is totally right, but I want to make it clear that this is coming from Hermione's flawed interpretation of her therapist's advice. In fact, I revealed in this chapter that she hasn't even been going to therapy recently. I'll have another therapist scene in another couple chapters to cover what her therapist actually wants her to do.

Also, to that same reviewer, I'll tell you right now that Marc is not a Voldemort sympathizer in disguise. He's just a douche. Remember that the world isn't split between good people and Death Eaters 😊

Bonus: here's a photo of the outfit I imagine Hermione changed into before going to Teddy's birthday party

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 10: My Safeword is Pineapple

Excerpt

"I'm worried it'll get back to my boss, Macnair, if I do." She wrung her hands and double-checked that Rhys still wasn't paying attention. Theo had just gleefully told him that of course he'd share stories about Draco growing up with him, which almost made him turn back around to put a stop to it, but then he processed what Granger had just said. Alarm bells went off in his head. He hadn't known she worked with Macnair. "Slughorn doesn't have very many principles and he's close friends with all the Department Heads at the Ministry. I can't trust that he wouldn't sell me out if he felt like Macnair had something he wanted. He'd turn on me for as little as a tin of crystallized pineapple... oh, Merlin's pants!"

Draco was shocked that Granger would suddenly shout wizard oaths in the middle of a crowd of muggles before he realized that her transgression would hardly register in the pandemonium that had descended upon the pub. No fewer than ten aurors had apparated into the dining room and had their wands drawn.

"False alarm!" Granger leapt up from her chair and waved her arms to catch their attention. "Sorry, I forgot! I said the safeword by accident."

"Safeword?" Blaise questioned, calm despite having the business end of a wand shoved into his jugular. Draco belatedly registered that he wasn't the only one when he felt the tingle of a wand hovering near the back of his own neck.

"Pineapple is my safeword."

"Kinky," Theo snickered, prompting the auror subduing him to shoot warning sparks.

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 10: My Safeword is Pineapple

Author Commentary

Did I write an entire chapter around the premise of a funny arrest video? ... Yes. Seriously, watch this, it's so bizarre. Technically, his safeword is pineapple juice, but for Hermione's purposes I feel like that's too long. Apparently, pineapple is a super common safeword...

So much merch exists, like these stickers

Anyway, this chapter is a deeper exploration of Draco's life. I want to show more about his time in muggle university because the idea of Draco in the muggle world is fascinating to me. This chapter ended up being more about his war trauma though... oops. Draco gets triggered by the chandelier in the pub and it all goes downhill from there.

Chandeliers as triggers in dramione fanfiction is a pretty common trope, I think, but usually it's a trigger for Hermione. I decided to give the trigger to Draco instead. I want him to be a fully three-dimensional character in this fic, with his own struggles and needs, not just a foil for Hermione's healing journey.

The chandelier that launched a thousand flashbacks

Also, in my typical fashion, I used another real place to inspire the pub where they all go to eat lunch. The Queen's Arms really exists and I'd love to go there someday.

The Queen's Arms in South Kensington

That's all I have to say about this chapter for now. Here are a few pics of Hermione and Pansy in the outfits I pictured for them.

Hermione

Pansy

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 9: The Love Dodecahedron from Hell

Excerpt

"He won't return your feelings?"

Theo exhaled a mirthless laugh. "I used to fool myself into thinking he might. I fantasized about it all the time. The truth is that I've always known he was in love with someone else already. Daphne Greengrass," he clarified before Hermione could ask.

"That's heart breaking... so, it's a love triangle? They're dating?"

"Oh, Circe no! Blaise is a worse flirt than even I was when I was performing straightness for my father. He'll sleep with any woman that moves now that he doesn't have to pretend to care about blood status."

"This is all so messy..." Hermione couldn't help but comment.

"It gets messier. He has a girlfriend now, but evidence strongly suggests it's an open relationship. And anyway, he can't be with Daphne even if he stopped being an incubus for a second because Daphne is betrothed to some Welsh pureblood who went to Durmstrang. The contract has been in place for ages."

"Contract?!" Hermione exclaimed. "Like a business deal?"

"Not like, it exactly is a business deal. Gold always changes hands with these things. So, you see it's not so much a love triangle as it is a love dodecahedron from hell."

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[esyla-writes]

Chapter 9: The Love Dodecahedron from Hell

Author Commentary

This was a very dialogue-heavy chapter, but it contains the much-needed heart-to-heart conversation between Hermione and Theo to move past the whole 'you sexted my boyfriend and triggered my PTSD' thing. It was so much fun to write! (Do I say that about everything? I might just generally enjoy writing... who knew?)

Theo is obviously basically a non-entity in canon so there are a lot of fanfic interpretations of his personality. In my mind, he's very outgoing and gregarious, bold, irreverant, all those kind of words, but more as an overcompensation for a childhood spent as a wallflower and a belief that the best defense is a good offense (re: emotional vulnerability). So, that's why when he gets thrown off-course he reverts to his native state of awkwardness. Then when he and Hermione get together taking turns surprising each other with fun facts about their lives, the foot-in-mouth disease grows like an out of control fungus.

Theo would 100% buy this shirt and tease Hermione for the rest of her life about (sort of) saying "sorry that you're gay" in response to him coming out

Hermione would retaliate by wearing this shirt to remind him of that time he (sort of) equated her sexual assault with winning

As for Hermione, I think it's good for her to remember the version of herself that stood up to a smug bully (sorry, Draco) so that she doesn't become a sad shell of woman in this fic that always needs to be protected. She may feel like she took an L re: Ron but she'll recover her feisty nature.

Also, since I gave the heads up the Harry/Ginny don't get their HEA, I should give the same disclaimer for Theo/Blaise. Unrequited love sucks, but I'm not interested in writing a fic where everyone neatly pairs off. Power to you if that's your thing (lord knows I indulge in plenty of other wish fulfillment in writing), but I'm going for max angst!

Now, in today's installment of minutiae-nobody-cares-about we have Pansy's music room described in pretentious detail. In case it wasn't clear, Pansy still lives at home with her parents. I imagine that this is typical for purebloods, especially pureblood girls, to live with the parents until you get married. Pansy hates this, but she is trying really hard to salvage something of her relationship with her mom and dad. I'll get around to writing about it more later, but I bet a lot if people can relate to trying to get what you need from parents who are imperfect people.

This is a doll house, but it's what I used as a reference image for the music room

Lastly, can't forget the scene that opens the chapter with Harry, Tonks, and Fergie (who is taking real shape in my mind despite being a background character). Tonks has her hair changed to a stately grey, and I imagine she went all out on even aging her appearance overall for the occasion because she feels old and tired. She has a toddler at home, is a single widowed parent, and she's a badass auror... who wouldn't be tired? The coolest thing about being a metamorphmagus (IMHO) is that you can change all aspects of your physical appearance, not just hair color, and I think a lot of fics forget that. Anyway, I'm getting Dame Judi Dench commanding her operatives vibes.

Dame Senior Auror Tonks wants you to solve this case and catch the crooks

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Chapter 8: Fallout

Excerpt

Theo awoke with a splitting headache and the unique misery of being hungry and nauseous at the same time. Any food he could imagine roiled his stomach, but he knew he'd have to brave eating something to take the edge off his hunger. It just needed to have no discernable taste or odor to ensure it stayed down.

He rolled over and stretched, carefully opening his eyes and adjusting to the sunlight streaming into his room from the bedside window. Then, once the room stopped spinning he promptly screamed in shock at seeing the form of Draco Malfoy staring at him from the armchair four feet from his bed.

"The fuck! Why are you watching me sleep?" The volume of his own voice made Theo's head pound harder and he winced, gingerly lowering himself back into a reclined position.

Draco continued to stare. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hands were steepled in front of his mouth giving him a comtemplative look, but not disguising the muscles in his jaw flexing restlessly. It would be clear to anyone who knew him well (which Theo did) that Draco was furious.

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