ethosiab

[ethosiab]

gone but not forgotten 🙏

[ethosiab]

I know this sounds stupid coming from someone who's main online presence is surrounding their art, but sometimes I forget I can draw? Like, don't get me wrong, I love what im doing and don't hate my art, but often it feels like im just going through the motions because I know I gotta practice and get things done. Its just 'a thing' to me rather than something I can be proud of I guess?

Sometimes though, I'll be working, take a step back, and realise something has clicked- Ive done something that made it really pleasing to my eye, or executed it smoothly without a need to redraw many things, or just baselessly really like what im doing even if i cant figure out why. And it feels great omg. I can draw. Im like. Doing art and shit. Making those images . Im doing this for my diploma and my hobby and partially my work and its amazing holy shit I love my life

[ethosiab]

The message she never sent...

[ethosiab]

pushback (ficlet)

read on ao3 | past life, etho & pearl, 900 words

Etho glances back up at the firewatch tower, making sure none of his teammates are paying attention. “C’mere real quick,” he says, starting down the stairs.

“This isn’t suspicious at all,” Pearl says, but she still follows him.

Once they’re safely out of earshot, Etho says, “Let’s finish our conversation. For real this time.”

Pearl sighs. “This again?”

“Yep. Gem and Grian aren’t here, so they won’t hear you.”

“I already told you, it was a lie. I wasn’t just saying that because Gem was listening.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Pearl glances around like someone else might be listening—which is entirely warranted, given that last time they were alone in the woods together, someone blew Etho up. “Why are you so convinced that I was telling the truth?”

“You were,” Etho says. “You just don’t realize it.”

“You don’t get to decide how I feel about something!”

“Why not? Gem does it.”

“No she—” Pearl throws up her hands. For a second he thinks he’s got her, but then she switches gears and asks him, “Why do you even care?”

“Because it’s not fair,” Etho says, even as he asks himself the same question. Why does he care so much about Pearl being treated fairly? Unfair things happen to everyone. It’s weird that he got so worked up about it. Still, the conviction remains.  “You were right. They’ve been treating you badly.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Nothing to do with the fact that you’re mad you got kicked out and want to break up our team.”

“Of course not,” Etho lies.

“And if I do team with you, you definitely wouldn't get bored after one session and abandon me.”

She’s got him. He can't really dispute that accusation. “What if I pinky promised not to do that?”

“Would you leave your team for me, then?” Pearl says. “Or does this only go one way?”

“Sure,” Etho says. The immediacy of his answer surprises him as much as it does Pearl, but then he thinks about it and realizes he doesn’t really care about his team this season. Scar would be mad, which would be funny, and Scott would be mad, which would be a lot more fun than he is now, and Bdubs would be really mad, which is one of Etho’s favorite things in the whole world. “Let’s do it.”

“Hang on, now,” Pearl says. “I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! Please?” Etho makes puppy eyes at her.

“I’m still not going to betray my team over a little teasing! Why would I do that?”

“A little teasing? They threw you out like trash!”

“You keep saying stuff like that, and it’s just—”

“True stuff?”

“I still don’t get it,” Pearl says. “Why you think that way about us. Does it really look that bad?”

“I mean, yeah,” Etho says. How does he explain this to her? “At first I thought you and Gem were like me and Bdubs, but you’re not.”

Pearl snorts. “Definitely not.” Then her eyes narrow and she says, “Why do you think that?”

Etho squirms a little. “We have this back-and-forth thing, y’know? I push him and he pushes me. With you guys, Gem pushes you and you just—”

“I push back,” Pearl says, sounding offended.

“You do?”

“I complain all the time! I told them the netherrack was ugly, I…” Pearl struggles to come up with a second example for so long that Etho feels obligated to interrupt.

“You’re doing it wrong,” he says. “You have to up the stakes every time, that’s how it’s supposed to go. He goes—I mean, she goes low, you go lower.”

Pearl looks thoughtful. “I don’t know about that,” she says, “but you’re right. I don’t get them back enough.”

“If they push, you have to push back. You can’t let them walk all over you. You gotta make ‘em realize they’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

“By, let me guess, teaming up with you to betray them?”

“Offer still stands,” Etho says. “I’ll ditch my guys too.”

Pearl gets a devious look on her face. “What if I told Scott you said that? Or Scar, or Bdubs?”

He only hesitates for a split second. “Go for it.”

“You really don’t care?”

“If you do, make sure I’m there for it. I wanna see their faces.”

“I wish I could do that,” Pearl says, a little bitterly. “Stop caring about things. It sounds so convenient.”

Etho wouldn’t say he doesn’t care about anything, but if it gets Pearl interested, he won’t argue. “It’s pretty great. I could teach you.”

Pearl looks away. Etho can’t tell what she’s thinking, and in the uncertainty, he starts to process the position he’s put himself in with this conversation. If she wanted, she could turn him down, snitch on him to both their teams, and completely screw him over.

She won’t, though. It’s not like her. Maybe that’s why he—

“I’ll think about it,” Pearl says.

“You will?” He sounds a little too eager, and feels embarrassed. But it makes her smile.

“It’s a big decision,” she says. “I’ll have to sleep on it.”

“You’re killing me.” But he can see it in her eyes, she’s tempted. He’s going to get her. The thought excites him in a way that only one of his current teammates can.

Maybe he has nothing to worry about. Maybe it’ll keep feeling like this, and he won’t get that itch to move on like he so often does. It’s near the end of the season anyway; if they’re going to do this, they’d better do it now.

“Do you really think we’d make a good team?” Pearl asks him.

“We’d make a great team,” Etho assures her. He’s almost starting to believe it himself.

—

if you read this all the way through and enjoyed, please consider reblogging!

[ethosiab]

oh. oh ren....

Got a little sad that I don't get to watch past life until tomorrow morning because tango is out but then I remembered he streamed this morning yayayay ^_^

[ethosiab]

Got a little sad that I don't get to watch past life until tomorrow morning because tango is out but then I remembered he streamed this morning yayayay ^_^

[ethosiab]

t4t aro4aro nerd4nerd

[ethosiab]

gluten hands 🖐️ tango has average sized hands he just has very big friends..

[ethosiab]

More Etho because Im obsessed qwq

Stole a few outfits from Pinterest and then a few doodles. Nothing fancy today, hope you all enjoy anyways though!

Any suggestions for who or what I should draw next?

Have a good day :3

[ethosiab]

See I can make fluff too!

[ethosiab]

zed doodles bc my power went out today and i was exiled to photoshop on my laptop (before that ran out of charge)

[ethosiab]

i’m not gonna lie fandom alwaysoften feels like an actively hostile environment towards aromanticism. even if it’s not intentional most of the time. like the way everyone jumps towards romantic ships and prioritizes those relationships over everything else and stripping aro coded characters of their aromanticism to be like “normal people”. maybe everyone just needs to slip away just this once from the amanormativity whispering in their ears to kick aros to the curb

[ethosiab]

two characters: flirty banter, clearly getting off on the power dynamics between them

people who are scared of going to hell for masturbating: he loves him like a son

me, hauving covid: can he call him that while they fuck

[ethosiab]

Lighthouse siege

[ethosiab]

(cant remember the expression "bit off more than i could chew") guess i really sucked off more than i could swallow huh

[ethosiab]

bro is not getting his bedroom back at the lighthouse

[ethosiab]

Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag