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i miss brushing our teeth together, and someone peeing while the other washes their hands.

i miss pressing cold toes to ur leg.

i miss sniffing ur clothes.

i miss holding you to my chest.

i miss laughing with you, in the bed, the out, then back in.

god you made me laugh.

i miss forcing stuffed animals into your hands and giggling when you treat them gently.

i miss your pillow.

i miss the way you kiss, and i miss your hands.

i miss rubbing the callous on your toe, and kissing your ankles.

i cannot imagine loving someone like i loved you, i even miss ur stanky gauges, and sleep covered eyes, i miss your breath in the morning and how grumpy you are before you eat.

i want to feed you, and fuck you, and love you.

i want to kiss your high cheekbones, and gorgeous knuckles, i want to whisper my hopes and dreams into your face at night, i want to be held and hold.

i give up, i love you, im going to love you forever.

i love you, and i dont always want you, but i love you.

i love you so much, and ive never stopped, i love you and i love myself and we arent together and its better that way, but i love you so much, and im scared my love for anyone after you will pale in comparison.

i dont know how to love someone else like that, u have it all.

and i am going to try my best, to love, and be loved, and ill learn to press face to napes and love their smell,

i hope i love as hard and as deeply and as beautifully as you showed me im capable of.

i hope i love like you dont have a piece of my heart tucked under ur skin, buried in you.

i will love you until my last breath, i will love you until im dead and gone, and my love for you will leech into the soil and fertilize the gardens above it.

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we live in an orbit

gravitating towards eachother, but never close enough to collide.

its a delicate balance.

we dont face eachother,

that will lead to disaster.

we talk in the same circle,

pretending the other doesnt exist, that we didnt love eachother with everything we had.

love ending is weird,

i go on, around you, never with,

pretending i dont know your deepest secrets,

like i dont know how the mole on your back looks,

like i dont know how you sound when u cry,

like i dont know how all of you tastes.

the universe is always expanding, and the space between us grows with it.

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i want to crack open my ribs, stare into my chest, and scoop it out,

pour blood and love onto the pavement and relieve myself of all this excess.

im overflowing, boiling over, and i always was.

its instense, furious,

but oh so gentle,

id pick u up and cradle you in my hands,

tell you all the ways i thought you were perfect.

but you cant do gentle,

you want rough hands and tough words,

bruising tongue and painful love.

loving you was never painful,

loving you was never rough,

it was so soft, and careful, and so much.

rip it out of my chest

let my first acts of pain be to squash it

i don't want to love you like this forever.

i miss you,

miss your warmth and your smile,

i miss your ears

i miss your voice

i miss you.

i miss all of you just like i loved you;

deeply, wholly, and unrequited.

-ekt

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i hope its the same, and i hope its different.

i miss how we were.

draw chalk doodles on the pavement, lay on the ground and love me into devotion.

i want to rip us apart and sew us back together,

i want to find flakes of u inbetween my jagged stitches.

love me love me love me, and let me love you back.

i dont trust you, but i do.

i trust you but i dont.

i miss the past, and i want our future.

love me and let it be beautiful 

love me and let it be fulfilling 

love me and let it be pure.

i can't get rid of it, but i also can't get it back

-ekt

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“The first poem I wrote that wasn’t about you was in all capital letters like it was trying to compensate for your absence. It was about a world far away from this one where all of the plants were terrifying but had healing powers if you had the guts to touch them. The first poem I wrote that wasn’t about you puffed up its throat like a bullfrog and begged to be kissed. Its my favorite poem because I hate it so much. I read it at least once a day and think:So this is what I’m capable of without you. Go figure. There is a hole in everything and I find you there smiling like you don’t have anywhere else to be. The first poem I wrote that wasn’t about you might one day be regarded as a masterpiece. People will come from all over the world to run their fingers over the print and marvel at how empty it is of you. They will not recognize your scent clinging silently to their fingers. Because if you walk into a room and notice what is missing from it it is still there isn’t it? The first poem I wrote that wasn’t about you was still about you. Damn it. Always.”

— a letter to love | Caitlyn Siehl

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i love

can't stop listening to this song

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need viscerally

Minnesota Marsh

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me when i me when

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"come and get some

skinning the children for a war drum

putting food in the table selling bombs and guns

it's quicker and easier to eat your young"

dude

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i love you hozier

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oh

all these colors fade for you only

hold me

carry me slowly

my sunlight

sunlight, hozier

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each day you'd rise with me

know that i would gladly be,

the icarus to your certainty

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‘𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥’ 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 / ‘𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐭’ 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐬

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The Shire was saved - but not for any of the Fellowship

So, I just finished my reread of the Lord of the Rings. And while I could say a lot about how it hits different every time since I read it first at the age of 8 to now being 26, there was one thing that I never realized and that really moved me.

We all know that Frodo never felt at home again in the Shire and left for the Undying lands to be healed. But while I read through the Appendix, I realized… none of the fellowship found peace at their homelands after their quest:

- Frodo leaves for Valinor.

- Sam follows him after Rosie dies.

- Merry and Pippin go to Edoras when Éomer calls for them as he´s getting old, they continue their journey to Minas Tirith, and stay there until they die and are buried besides Aragorn.

- Legolas can´t resist the seagulls´ calls and leaves for Valinor after Aragorn dies.

- Gimli goes with Legolas.

- Aragorn grows into his role as the king of Gondor during the quest and doesn´t return to his former life at all.

- Gandalf may be the only member of the remaining fellowship that is doesn´t fall into the same pattern, but then again, who knows what he was like before he came to Middle Earth and how he´d felt when he came back to Valinor.

- Even Bilbo doesn´t find his peace at the Shire and goes first to Rivendell and then to Valinor.

To me it seems like both a warning and a consolation. A warning that adventures are not just over, they leave a deep mark. That growth comes at a price and that even if it makes you stronger, wiser, and more confident, you may have to leave something behind that will never return, even if you yourself do. 

But on the other hand, it feels like a consolation for anyone who has been fundamentally changed by an experience and doesn´t understand why they don´t feel at home anymore at the place where they used to be most comfortable. For those who longed after their former home so much during times of hardship and return only to realize that they have outgrown their old ways. 

The end of their story right now feels like a warm “you are not alone with this feeling” and there are no words to describe how marvellous I think it is that a story that I´ve known by heart for so long still can surprise me and still has something more and deeper to offer whenever I come back to it. The story of all stories indeed.

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Legendarium by https://heyue58107.lofter.com

1. Maglor (noldolante)

2. Celebrian in LothLorien (m/b in Lorien`s garden in Valinor)

3. Legolas & Aragorn (past & future)

4. Earwen

5. Beleg Cuthalion & Turin Turambar

6. Arwen in Imladris (on panno Earendil & Elwing` history)

7. Galadriel

8. Idril Celebrindal in Ondolinde

9. Finduilas

10. Elwing

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All art/photos found on Pinterest:Online. If you know the original creator/is the original creator, message me so that I can give them/you credit.