etz-ashashiyot

[etz-ashashiyot]

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

[etz-ashashiyot]

A cockatoo broke our rocket. :(

Gonna need a tiny bit more context here bud

[etz-ashashiyot]

Reminder that this is A Thing and that I believe I've answered everyone who reached out about the new url

If I haven't answered you yet, please poke me about it, because I am going to start winding down this blog asap

Hey folks —

I know I just did this a year ago, but I'm gonna transition blogs again.

This last year has been the hardest year of my life since maybe 2012 when I was so depressed that I didn't leave my bed for almost anything except work for months and I quite literally don't remember most of it. Possibly even since the implosion of my relationship with my abuser in 2009. Idk. It's bad and I can't carry this anymore.

I am tired of looking at the ruins of who I thought I was and what I thought my life was going to be. I hate remembering what I used to feel like, even when times were hard. I need to stop sitting shiva for a life I buried in a picture frame.

It's time to rebuild.

It's time to reinvent.

It's time to reimagine.

I don't want to do any of this. I want to just curl up in a ball and hibernate until I can wake up from this nightmare. I want to wallow in thoughts of self-injury or worse. I want to drink myself to sleep every night so I don't dream anymore and do whatever else I need to do to not feel anything anymore. I want to self-destruct. I want to stop taking my meds so that I can be depressed enough to not care about the consequences and actually go through with it.

But I'm not going to do any of those things.

I'm going to do a controlled burn of the past so that new things can grow in.

I've done it before; I can do it again.

This time I'm not just closing a chapter; I'm starting the sequel. If you want to follow me along, message me for the new url. If you are feeling done, no hard feelings — I wish you well on your journey and hope that only good things find you on the way.

[etz-ashashiyot]

The OP of the screenshot owes every queer person living in or from former Soviet countries $10,000 and an apology

So...

Gay single-party dictatorship

Gay secret police

Gay Russian imperialism in the Caucasus, Central Asia, and Eastern Europe

[etz-ashashiyot]

Vince, a gas station worker where I live - a small town in Montana - always tells me to stay safe. I didn't know why for the longest time. I guess I just assumed it was something he said to everyone. Today he took me aside and told me to get in the employee breakroom and hide. I did, because he was pale and wide-eyed and I know he's a nice guy. He wouldn't say something like that without a reason. He said not to make a sound.

I heard a group of men come in. Some of what they said, I couldn't make out. Some of what they did, I could, and I wish I hadn't. They interrogated the new guy there about his ethnicity, about if he was a Jew or not, said his nose looked kike-y, dropped change on the floor and said, "I guess you're not, 'cause you didn't dive for it!" and they all laughed. They bought lots of alcohol and snacks and complained about the damn Jews driving up inflation to line their pockets. When they finally left, twenty minutes after I'd arrived, Vince poked his head into the breakroom and told me to wait ten more minutes just to be safe and that I should take the backroad home, not the highway.

It took me a while to get my shit together enough to do that. I couldn't stop shaking. Vince gave me his jacket and tucked in my Magen David. He said they usually come by on Thursdays, not Tuesdays. He doesn't want to serve them, but his manager says the money is good and this is America, they're free to be here if they want. His coworker manned the front till while Vince sat with me, awkwardly rubbing my shoulders as I hyperventilated and cried. Abruptly, he pulled me into a hug and blurted out, "I'm so fucking sorry. This is so wrong. I'm so sorry. This isn't how this country should fucking be." He sounded heartbroken. He's only 20, but he's had to ask himself how to keep someone alive when a group of Norse pagans swing by at random. I wanted to tell him that this shouldn't be his job. He's too young to be saving lives.

We exchanged phone numbers and he said he'd text me every time they come in from now on, so I know when they're there and I don't ever go near there when they're around. Vince gave me one of the stuffed animals the gas station sells for free, a little mountain goat, and I held onto that thing on and off for the entire drive home. This is the only gas station in town. There's no way I can magically just never use it again. The thought keeps coming back to me, haunting me, taunting me. I can't just not use gas. That's not an option.

HaShem bless and protect Vince. He's one of the good goyim, in a time where that's a dwindling number. I don't want to think about what would have happened if those ten men had gotten ahold of me.

When I was a little girl, I used to wonder who would hide me if the Nazis came. I guess now I know.

.

[etz-ashashiyot]

It has been abundantly clear to me that the pro-Palestine movement's antisemitism, anti-Israelis-as-people sentiment, glorification of violence, and all the other components of the shit stew that I'm currently too angry to articulate, were going to lead to extreme violence, including against Jews in diaspora. I have been telling y'all for over a year and a half to collect your fucking people and you will not do it. I have been trying to educate gently and with nuance and provide a voice that is neither "there's no antisemitism in the movement" nor "antizionism is antisemitism." And yet somehow for either the message does not get through or frankly many of you just do not give a shit. Setting Jews in Colorado on fire will not free Palestine and frankly you are really stupid if you think it will, and also you and I are different because as a general principle I think setting people on fire is bad and you don't.

Anyway I could not be more fucking over it. Your movement is cooked as hell and is also not in any sense "leftist" or "radical." It's actually reactionary as fuck. At this point if you continue to refuse to speak up in your activist spaces and collect your people I will no longer be assuming you just need some gentle education, I will assume that it is intentional and you either agree with the bullshit or are prioritizing your personal social standing.

[etz-ashashiyot]

@tornad001:

What does any of that have to do with my post?

My post is about how so many allegedly "not antisemitic just anti-Zionist" folks are failing to address a major root cause of the conflict, which is the question of Jewish safety after numerous genocides, pogroms, and expulsions.

Jewish sovereignty of a majority Jewish state is one answer to that question. I am NOT discussing or debating how effective that answer is in this post, nor am I discussing whether or not that country is engaged in bad acts. Those are topics for other posts.

What I AM talking about is this: If you [general you] are proposing that this state be dissolved or its Jewish character radically changed to being a blended culture state or an Islamic state, then you are asking Jews, uniquely among the nations I will add, to give up that particular answer to preventing future genocides, pogroms, and/or expulsions. If you do not have an even remotely viable alternative answer to the question of Jewish safety, then by taking that viewpoint you are inherently saying that you don't care if there are future genocides, pogroms, and/or expulsions committed against Jews, as has been the historical norm for 2000+ years. You're saying that's not your problem. And the fact that you're saying this against a backdrop of skyrocketing antisemitic violence, much of it driven by YOUR OWN movement, rather than working to make the diaspora a safe place for Jews to live is especially disgusting and hypocritical.

Failing to care about Jewish safety when the Shoah (and Farhud, and Soviet purges) are within living memory is unquestionably antisemitic and tells me that you don't want peace, you want Jewish silence.

Answer me this: What have you 🫵 yes you personally 🫵 done to make the diaspora safe for Jews?

I don't want to hear anything about Israel as that is off-topic. Answer my question or go away.

If it was really "anti-Zionism and not antisemitism" then you would be working your tuchus off to make the diaspora safe for all Jews, especially Israeli ex-pats. You would be bending over backwards to demonstrate (against the great weight of historical evidence) that the diaspora is safe, that there is no need for Jewish sovereignty, that we can totally trust our neighbors to have learned - or at a minimum, that the majority will step in to stop any antisemitic violence before it gained traction.

Instead, you repeat this antisemitic Soviet propagandist slogan designed from the start to isolate, marginalize, and ultimately murder Jews, because that is your goal. If it's actually not your goal and you are offended that I would suggest it is, then you need to sit down, learn some Jewish history, and shut the fuck up until you understand why and how you got sucked into a hate movement that supports another Holocaust.

[etz-ashashiyot]

Hey for all the folks waiting for info on the new URL, I'm not ignoring you, I promise! Between work, moving, Life, and yontiff, I have not had much time to set up the new space. Rest assured, I'm working on it, and so far I have not yet received a request that I intend to turn down. Thank you all for your patience, your support, and your kind words!

Hey folks —

I know I just did this a year ago, but I'm gonna transition blogs again.

This last year has been the hardest year of my life since maybe 2012 when I was so depressed that I didn't leave my bed for almost anything except work for months and I quite literally don't remember most of it. Possibly even since the implosion of my relationship with my abuser in 2009. Idk. It's bad and I can't carry this anymore.

I am tired of looking at the ruins of who I thought I was and what I thought my life was going to be. I hate remembering what I used to feel like, even when times were hard. I need to stop sitting shiva for a life I buried in a picture frame.

It's time to rebuild.

It's time to reinvent.

It's time to reimagine.

I don't want to do any of this. I want to just curl up in a ball and hibernate until I can wake up from this nightmare. I want to wallow in thoughts of self-injury or worse. I want to drink myself to sleep every night so I don't dream anymore and do whatever else I need to do to not feel anything anymore. I want to self-destruct. I want to stop taking my meds so that I can be depressed enough to not care about the consequences and actually go through with it.

But I'm not going to do any of those things.

I'm going to do a controlled burn of the past so that new things can grow in.

I've done it before; I can do it again.

This time I'm not just closing a chapter; I'm starting the sequel. If you want to follow me along, message me for the new url. If you are feeling done, no hard feelings — I wish you well on your journey and hope that only good things find you on the way.

[etz-ashashiyot]

We are Jews, the people of the book, and that book, and those books too... Please help I've been trapped under an avalanche of books

📗📕📓📚📓📘📙📘📖📕📕📓📚📕📖📗📘📓📓📒📓📕📗📘📘📘📗📕📕📓📓📘📙📙📖📕📕📖📖📖📖📕📕📓📒📚📚📒📒📓📕📖📖📘📘📗📖📗📘📗📖📖📖📗📗📗👴📗📖📕📓📓📒📒📒📗📗📗📖📗📗📘📕📕📕📓📓📓📓📖📗📗📘📘📙📓📓📚📚📚📚📚📗📗📖📕📖📖📙📙📗📗📖📖

[etz-ashashiyot]

I see this post has been found by naziblr 🤦‍♀️

The coward deleted their post though, sad!

If it was really "anti-Zionism and not antisemitism" then you would be working your tuchus off to make the diaspora safe for all Jews, especially Israeli ex-pats. You would be bending over backwards to demonstrate (against the great weight of historical evidence) that the diaspora is safe, that there is no need for Jewish sovereignty, that we can totally trust our neighbors to have learned - or at a minimum, that the majority will step in to stop any antisemitic violence before it gained traction.

Instead, you repeat this antisemitic Soviet propagandist slogan designed from the start to isolate, marginalize, and ultimately murder Jews, because that is your goal. If it's actually not your goal and you are offended that I would suggest it is, then you need to sit down, learn some Jewish history, and shut the fuck up until you understand why and how you got sucked into a hate movement that supports another Holocaust.

[etz-ashashiyot]

Shavuot is about the Jewish people signing the Terms & Conditions before reading them.

Every generation, however, gets patch updates and both the user manuals and technical documentation are incredibly detailed.

And excellent user support is available from specialists who have made it their life's work to study the documentation, Rabbis.

A good Rabbi will never just tell the user to RTFM.

[etz-ashashiyot]

@tornad001 What does any of that have to do with making the diaspora safe for Jews?

This response has strong forced-birther shrieking about how "abortion is murder!!!😭" energy in response to questions about how to protect maternal health and safety.

Edit: The fact that this reply happened in light of the Boulder attack makes this response absolutely morally disgusting. Thanks for proving my point I guess.

If it was really "anti-Zionism and not antisemitism" then you would be working your tuchus off to make the diaspora safe for all Jews, especially Israeli ex-pats. You would be bending over backwards to demonstrate (against the great weight of historical evidence) that the diaspora is safe, that there is no need for Jewish sovereignty, that we can totally trust our neighbors to have learned - or at a minimum, that the majority will step in to stop any antisemitic violence before it gained traction.

Instead, you repeat this antisemitic Soviet propagandist slogan designed from the start to isolate, marginalize, and ultimately murder Jews, because that is your goal. If it's actually not your goal and you are offended that I would suggest it is, then you need to sit down, learn some Jewish history, and shut the fuck up until you understand why and how you got sucked into a hate movement that supports another Holocaust.

[etz-ashashiyot]

Another yontiff, another horrific attack.

I dread turning my phone back on every Shabbos and Yom Tov.

This is a specific kind of horror experienced by shomer Jews — what fresh nightmare is waiting for us on the other side of this holy rest?

[etz-ashashiyot]

[etz-ashashiyot]

Hey folks —

I know I just did this a year ago, but I'm gonna transition blogs again.

This last year has been the hardest year of my life since maybe 2012 when I was so depressed that I didn't leave my bed for almost anything except work for months and I quite literally don't remember most of it. Possibly even since the implosion of my relationship with my abuser in 2009. Idk. It's bad and I can't carry this anymore.

I am tired of looking at the ruins of who I thought I was and what I thought my life was going to be. I hate remembering what I used to feel like, even when times were hard. I need to stop sitting shiva for a life I buried in a picture frame.

It's time to rebuild.

It's time to reinvent.

It's time to reimagine.

I don't want to do any of this. I want to just curl up in a ball and hibernate until I can wake up from this nightmare. I want to wallow in thoughts of self-injury or worse. I want to drink myself to sleep every night so I don't dream anymore and do whatever else I need to do to not feel anything anymore. I want to self-destruct. I want to stop taking my meds so that I can be depressed enough to not care about the consequences and actually go through with it.

But I'm not going to do any of those things.

I'm going to do a controlled burn of the past so that new things can grow in.

I've done it before; I can do it again.

This time I'm not just closing a chapter; I'm starting the sequel. If you want to follow me along, message me for the new url. If you are feeling done, no hard feelings — I wish you well on your journey and hope that only good things find you on the way.

[etz-ashashiyot]

I do actually care marginally about the guy in that reddit screenshot who voted for Trump and is now worried that he might lose his medicaid funding because I did not fucking stutter when I said healthcare is a human right but the people losing their internships and job offers to the hiring freeze are straight up hilarious.

[etz-ashashiyot]

Excluding the crucial fact that office jobs pay you an income….if staying home to raise children and do chores and bake bread was really so much easier and more joyful than working in an office on some objective level, why aren’t men doing it? Why aren’t they chomping at the bit to be ~leisurely house husbands~ to a working wife? Why aren’t they stepping up to depend solely on someone else’s income in exchange for round-the-clock domestic labor, if it’s really as blissful and their propaganda suggests? Curious.